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Living with Freddie: How a Dog Taught Me to Be Human
LIVING WITH FREDDIE is New Yorker writer and animal behavioural science student Anna Heyward's extraordinary memoir about learning to see the world through a dog's eyes - for readers of RAISING HARE, H IS FOR HAWK or MY BELOVED MONSTER.
When Anna Heyward adopted a rescued Italian greyhound, she was thrilled to bring a dog into her life. But Freddie, she quickly realised, had severe separation anxiety, unable to be left alone for more than thirty seconds without crying uncontrollably, biting his own tail or scratching at his body. While some would have given the dog back, writing him off as a 'bad dog', Anna transformed her life. She took Freddie to work and hid him from her boss. Her social life withered. Her relationship with her fiancé began to flounder. She dedicated her life to entering the mind of her dog. As Anna observed Freddie's behaviour, she began to experience the world as he the quality of light, the timbre of sound; a leaf falling from a tree. And she changed - but not in the way you might expect.
This is a meditation on what it means to be bad or good, on how much we can - or should - try to alter another being's behaviour, and on what is possible to know about another mind. But at its heart, LIVING WITH FREDDIE is a beautiful, heart-wrenching portrait of the relationship between a human and a dog. And at the end of Freddie's story, you, too, may find yourself changed.
When Anna Heyward adopted a rescued Italian greyhound, she was thrilled to bring a dog into her life. But Freddie, she quickly realised, had severe separation anxiety, unable to be left alone for more than thirty seconds without crying uncontrollably, biting his own tail or scratching at his body. While some would have given the dog back, writing him off as a 'bad dog', Anna transformed her life. She took Freddie to work and hid him from her boss. Her social life withered. Her relationship with her fiancé began to flounder. She dedicated her life to entering the mind of her dog. As Anna observed Freddie's behaviour, she began to experience the world as he the quality of light, the timbre of sound; a leaf falling from a tree. And she changed - but not in the way you might expect.
This is a meditation on what it means to be bad or good, on how much we can - or should - try to alter another being's behaviour, and on what is possible to know about another mind. But at its heart, LIVING WITH FREDDIE is a beautiful, heart-wrenching portrait of the relationship between a human and a dog. And at the end of Freddie's story, you, too, may find yourself changed.
288 pages, Hardcover
Published September 8, 2026
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
July 24, 2026
First and foremost, this is undeniably a book written with the utmost care and passion for its subject. That being said, what initially drew me to read this was my own experience with my rescue dog and his anxieties. I was excited to potentially read the story of someone who had experienced similar and I thoroughly enjoyed the parts that gave me that experience. However, the narrative story of Living With Freddie is told through snapshots that are interspersed within heavy streams of research on animal behavior and psychological theories.
That is not to say the inclusion of said information is necessarily a bad thing, I learned a lot while reading, it was just jarring and unexpected. I felt as though the blurb was for a memoir and the book I actually read was a memoir blended into a behavioral science book.
To be clear, this is not a “bad” book. The more scientific aspects of this book all exist to support the conclusions drawn from personal evidence of the author. All research is properly cited and clearly stated in a way that is understandable to any reader regardless of their familiarity. Had I known going into this what type of book I was going to be reading I think I would have enjoyed it significantly more.
I cannot stress enough the clarity with which passion, care, and patience that the author demonstrates both with Freddie and with telling his story seeps out of every word. For that, I’m grateful even if it was not the experience I expected.
Thank you NetGalley and Random House for an ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review.
That is not to say the inclusion of said information is necessarily a bad thing, I learned a lot while reading, it was just jarring and unexpected. I felt as though the blurb was for a memoir and the book I actually read was a memoir blended into a behavioral science book.
To be clear, this is not a “bad” book. The more scientific aspects of this book all exist to support the conclusions drawn from personal evidence of the author. All research is properly cited and clearly stated in a way that is understandable to any reader regardless of their familiarity. Had I known going into this what type of book I was going to be reading I think I would have enjoyed it significantly more.
I cannot stress enough the clarity with which passion, care, and patience that the author demonstrates both with Freddie and with telling his story seeps out of every word. For that, I’m grateful even if it was not the experience I expected.
Thank you NetGalley and Random House for an ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
This book was such a well-written tribute full of both love and heartbreak. I was not expecting to cry but the author captured so many emotions of the bonds we share with our animals. My heart broke for Freddie and his experiences through no fault of his own.
I love how the author explored ethology and animal behaviourism and really worked hard to meet Freddie where he was at instead of making him fit into the mould people thought he should. He was so lucky to have found her and I can sense the deep emotional connection between them.
This book would be excellent reading for anyone to better understand the animals we share our lives with.
I love how the author explored ethology and animal behaviourism and really worked hard to meet Freddie where he was at instead of making him fit into the mould people thought he should. He was so lucky to have found her and I can sense the deep emotional connection between them.
This book would be excellent reading for anyone to better understand the animals we share our lives with.
September 13, 2026
Not enough story
Too much science, studies and theories, not much story about the actual dog until the end. Wasn’t what I was expecting.
Too much science, studies and theories, not much story about the actual dog until the end. Wasn’t what I was expecting.
Review of advance copy received from Publisher
If you've ever dealt with a "difficult" dog, this may be the book for you. I went into it expecting a largely fun memoir of the author's experiences with her rescue dog Freddie but it was more than that. It was one part memoir, true, but also her reflections on the human-dog relationship in general as well as some research findings. It made it a bit of a jumpy read at times but I won't deny that it was well written and kept my attention. I settled on a 4 star rating while, quite frankly, depending on what you're looking for, you may rate it higher or lower. It's based on solid research as well as personal experiences of the author. And, there's no denying it, my heart was with Freddie in hopes she'd help him find the peace and happy life he deserved.
Given the nature of the book, I hesitate to share much info as I don't want any of it taken out of perspective. So, let me utilize the author's tool of reflection. "Difficult" dogs aren't "difficult" on purpose, just to irritate us. They have genuine issues, just as "difficult" humans do. Freddie's were formed before he came to the author. In fact, she was warned upfront that he had issues but was lost in the rush of finally getting her very own dog. I guess the lesson here is don't rush into anything, no matter how much we fall in love with the idea of how perfect life will be once they settle in. Life isn't that simple for human or canine. I've been lucky enough not to have had a dog with severe separation anxiety, for instance, but even my beloved Daisy had her quirks that required time and effort on my part.
Please note, while full of reflections based on experience and advice, the book is neither scientific nor simply memoir. It's a reflection of one person's experiences with one dog, albeit utilizing the info and reflections of others as a path to understanding and bringing the human and canine minds together. I had to grin at the author's caution not to fall into anthropomorphism, ie giving human traits or qualities to animals. I'm sure that's one thing just about every pet owner in the world has been guilty of. I know I have but, phew, was really aware that I was just mouthing off, so to speak, on the wonders of my then dog. It's also a caution that what worked here may not work for your own dog, so be realistic.
Bottom line, in other words, I do recommend this one with the caution of not going into it with preconceived ideas of what you are going to read. Just as we shouldn't assign human traits to our pets, we shouldn't assign a book to live up to our expectations. Read this one with an open mind and you'll come away with much to ponder and, fingers crossed, should a "difficult" dog cross your path, some genuine ideas of how best to help it reach its full potential. Maybe even help you learn how to manage your own expectations and life. As the book reminds us, caring for an animal, any animal, is a responsibility, a complex, many faceted one. If you're lucky, you'll learn a great deal about not just your dog but yourself. I guess I could say in simple words that it will make you think, taking responsibility for your own actions as well as the responsibility that come with pet ownership. As you'll discover, this responsibility put a lot of stress on Heyward's own relationships and caused ripples. Thanks #RandomHouse for allowing me this early peek at a thought provoking book that gave me far, far more to ponder than I had expected. It's a reminder to us all to be open to change and willing to learn, even when we're just sure we "know it all". Grin.
Given the nature of the book, I hesitate to share much info as I don't want any of it taken out of perspective. So, let me utilize the author's tool of reflection. "Difficult" dogs aren't "difficult" on purpose, just to irritate us. They have genuine issues, just as "difficult" humans do. Freddie's were formed before he came to the author. In fact, she was warned upfront that he had issues but was lost in the rush of finally getting her very own dog. I guess the lesson here is don't rush into anything, no matter how much we fall in love with the idea of how perfect life will be once they settle in. Life isn't that simple for human or canine. I've been lucky enough not to have had a dog with severe separation anxiety, for instance, but even my beloved Daisy had her quirks that required time and effort on my part.
Please note, while full of reflections based on experience and advice, the book is neither scientific nor simply memoir. It's a reflection of one person's experiences with one dog, albeit utilizing the info and reflections of others as a path to understanding and bringing the human and canine minds together. I had to grin at the author's caution not to fall into anthropomorphism, ie giving human traits or qualities to animals. I'm sure that's one thing just about every pet owner in the world has been guilty of. I know I have but, phew, was really aware that I was just mouthing off, so to speak, on the wonders of my then dog. It's also a caution that what worked here may not work for your own dog, so be realistic.
Bottom line, in other words, I do recommend this one with the caution of not going into it with preconceived ideas of what you are going to read. Just as we shouldn't assign human traits to our pets, we shouldn't assign a book to live up to our expectations. Read this one with an open mind and you'll come away with much to ponder and, fingers crossed, should a "difficult" dog cross your path, some genuine ideas of how best to help it reach its full potential. Maybe even help you learn how to manage your own expectations and life. As the book reminds us, caring for an animal, any animal, is a responsibility, a complex, many faceted one. If you're lucky, you'll learn a great deal about not just your dog but yourself. I guess I could say in simple words that it will make you think, taking responsibility for your own actions as well as the responsibility that come with pet ownership. As you'll discover, this responsibility put a lot of stress on Heyward's own relationships and caused ripples. Thanks #RandomHouse for allowing me this early peek at a thought provoking book that gave me far, far more to ponder than I had expected. It's a reminder to us all to be open to change and willing to learn, even when we're just sure we "know it all". Grin.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
I found this to be a great reflection on, ultimately, a woman who wanted desperately to heal a dog that should have never been entrusted to her care to begin with, and how the stress shines a light on other fractures in life (ie her relationship). Then, it becomes a journey of understanding that healing, learning to empathize with a domesticated animal and drawing connections between how breeding and human behaviors influence animal behavior.
It is a stunning book for the science and compilation of facts that help tell the story, but the actual “living with Freddie” feels so minimal. The last few chapters and epilogue are the strongest, which understanding how the story was written—relying on journal entries to piece together—makes sense. Although, for all the meandering and rambling, the long digressions to set the scene for a short observation, I wish there was more about her relationship with Freddie.
Freddie taught her a lot. I picked up this book because I’ve had a ‘difficult dog’ and specifically a greyhound, so the cover and the synopsis appealed to me. Perhaps I wanted more—and a little more raw, specifically—but I did appreciate the details on the problems of “purebred,” genetic mutations, and the confusion between intelligence, motivation and desire.
Thank you to NetGalley and Random House Publishing for the ARC and the opportunity to read and review this title.
favorite quotes :
It is a stunning book for the science and compilation of facts that help tell the story, but the actual “living with Freddie” feels so minimal. The last few chapters and epilogue are the strongest, which understanding how the story was written—relying on journal entries to piece together—makes sense. Although, for all the meandering and rambling, the long digressions to set the scene for a short observation, I wish there was more about her relationship with Freddie.
Freddie taught her a lot. I picked up this book because I’ve had a ‘difficult dog’ and specifically a greyhound, so the cover and the synopsis appealed to me. Perhaps I wanted more—and a little more raw, specifically—but I did appreciate the details on the problems of “purebred,” genetic mutations, and the confusion between intelligence, motivation and desire.
Thank you to NetGalley and Random House Publishing for the ARC and the opportunity to read and review this title.
favorite quotes :
“My failure to observe became an obsession. I had a constant sense that I was missing something. That there were things I hadn’t noticed, things I didn’t know how to notice, things I would never know. That I lacked information, and if I could find the key, things would get better.”
“What we mistake for intelligence might simply be motivation—or rather, what we take as lack of intelligence might be lack of motivation . . . A great deal of finding out what Freddie was capable of was finding out what he wanted, what motivated him, and what felt was worth doing.”
September 20, 2026
Listened to the audiobook. Narration was very good. This book upset me so much. Don’t read it if you love dogs. My heart broke for Freddie and I feel like the author had no business adopting him. I had a dog with separation anxiety. Yes it’s no joke and ALOT of work BUT I researched and worked with her in so many different ways and managed to be successful after a lot of hard work. The author didn’t do anything except contact a couple of trainers who gave her bad advice. Then she was done. Her answer was simply never leave Freddie alone. That’s not realistic and didn’t help Freddie. I was also frustrated because the only reason she wanted Aaron to stick around was to have someone watch Freddie when she was gone. The poor dog was so confused and so traumatized. The time she sent him away to daycare and he came back emaciated and traumatized …..OMG. And before she ultimately gave him away, she tried pawning him off on other people but never told any of them about his separation anxiety, which is really cruel. It’s just heartbreaking. And honestly, the book wasn’t “Living with Freddie” Most of the book was quoting scientific facts and not until 3/4 of the book did you really get the story about Freddie.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
As someone who adopted a rescue dog who was once incredibly timid and especially afraid of men, I was immediately drawn to Living with Freddie. Based on the title and cover, I expected a heartfelt memoir centered on Freddie and the bond he formed with his owner.
Freddie’s journey was heartbreaking, and I genuinely enjoyed those parts of the book. What surprised me was how much of the book is devoted to animal behavior research, psychology, and canine anxiety. The research is clearly thoughtful and well done, and I can see many readers appreciating that aspect. Personally, I found myself wanting to get back to Freddie’s story whenever the book shifted into the more academic discussions.
For me, there was a bit of a mismatch between the title and the reading experience. I expected a narrative driven dog memoir, but this is really a blend of memoir and behavioral science. It wasn’t quite the reading experience I was looking for, though I appreciate the compassion, patience, and dedication the author brought to Freddie’s journey.
Thank you to Random House and NetGalley for providing an advance review copy in exchange for an honest review.
Freddie’s journey was heartbreaking, and I genuinely enjoyed those parts of the book. What surprised me was how much of the book is devoted to animal behavior research, psychology, and canine anxiety. The research is clearly thoughtful and well done, and I can see many readers appreciating that aspect. Personally, I found myself wanting to get back to Freddie’s story whenever the book shifted into the more academic discussions.
For me, there was a bit of a mismatch between the title and the reading experience. I expected a narrative driven dog memoir, but this is really a blend of memoir and behavioral science. It wasn’t quite the reading experience I was looking for, though I appreciate the compassion, patience, and dedication the author brought to Freddie’s journey.
Thank you to Random House and NetGalley for providing an advance review copy in exchange for an honest review.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
I was given a copy of the book, "Living With Freddie" from NetGalley. I was not a fan of this book. It was okay but I guess I was not aware of the intention of this book. I thought it was about Freddie, the dog that was adopted into Anna's home. I could see it is about trying to take care of a dog that comes with "issues" for Freddie it is his difficulty with Separation anxiety which could be severe. The part of the book that I felt took up way too much room was the author writing of her research she did with many known psychologists who gave their advice on behavioral issues on dogs. She went into great lengths on her studies on what to do to help a dog with anxiety issues. Guess i should have done more research on this book. I liked the parts where she actually talked about Freddie but grew bored with the parts with research. otherwise not a bad book to read.
October 2, 2026
This was a like but didn't love book for me. I'm a sucker for a good dog story and I especially love reading about dogs who might be a little naughty, or a little quirky, or need a little (or a lot) more help, like Freddie. I enjoyed parts of this story but the narrative lacked some depth and intrigue that I was hoping for, it didn't suck me in as much as I expected. And the weaving of science and story didn't always work for me. I definitely learned some interesting things about dogs and behavioral science as I read this and appreciate that the author turned her own challenges into a book that can offer something to others. It's probably best for curious people who want to dig into the science side of this story.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.
There is a lot of science information in this book, way more than I expected. But it's well researched and a lot of the information will be interesting to those that want to know the nitty gritty of animal behavior and history. That part didn't interest me as much as reading about Freddie's life but I'm still giving this book 4 stars.
I am pretty sure the author is on the autism spectrum from some of the things she writes about like not liking small talk, lack of eye contact, and taking words at their literal meaning. I can relate to her mannerisms as I have ASD.
There is a lot of science information in this book, way more than I expected. But it's well researched and a lot of the information will be interesting to those that want to know the nitty gritty of animal behavior and history. That part didn't interest me as much as reading about Freddie's life but I'm still giving this book 4 stars.
I am pretty sure the author is on the autism spectrum from some of the things she writes about like not liking small talk, lack of eye contact, and taking words at their literal meaning. I can relate to her mannerisms as I have ASD.
October 2, 2026
Sorry found it boring not enough on dog too much other info. Had a dog years ago similar to Freddie and was hoping to learn something new.
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews