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「キモがられても、ウザがられても、死ぬほど君が好きだ」
無口で友達もいない、クラス最底辺の高校生・平良。そんな彼が一目で恋に堕ちたのは、人気者の清居だ。誰ともつるまず平等に冷酷で、クラスの頂点に君臨する王――。自分の気配に気づいてくれればいいと、昼食の調達に使いっ走りと清居に中誠を尽くす平良だけど!?
絶対君主への信仰が、欲望に堕ちる時――スクールカーストLOVE!!
電子限定版のみ書き下ろし番外編収録！
※電子書籍版には、紙版に収録されている口絵・挿絵は収録されていません。
無口で友達もいない、クラス最底辺の高校生・平良。そんな彼が一目で恋に堕ちたのは、人気者の清居だ。誰ともつるまず平等に冷酷で、クラスの頂点に君臨する王――。自分の気配に気づいてくれればいいと、昼食の調達に使いっ走りと清居に中誠を尽くす平良だけど!?
絶対君主への信仰が、欲望に堕ちる時――スクールカーストLOVE!!
電子限定版のみ書き下ろし番外編収録！
※電子書籍版には、紙版に収録されている口絵・挿絵は収録されていません。
320 pages, Paperback
First published December 19, 2014
69 people are currently reading
430 people want to read
About the author
Yuu Nagira
67 books39 followersAssociated Names:
* 凪良 ゆう (Japanese)
* Yuu Nagira (English)
* นางิระ ยู (Thai)
* 凪良 ゆう (Japanese)
* Yuu Nagira (English)
* นางิระ ยู (Thai)
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 82 reviews
March 29, 2015
I'll admit it: I was afraid to read this.
Ever since reading her blog entry regarding this book, I pictured the worst. She wrote that it was about a creepy seme, which she loves, and while she had a lot of fun writing it, afterwards she worried it was too creepy. The first thing that came to mind was one of her earlier novels, "Loveholic", which was seriously disturbing and which I am still trying my best to forget. So I waited until I was in the mood for something like I expected - but in the end it was nearly as bad as "Loveholic". It could be that my expecting the worst helped (although I kept expecting something horrible) but this really was a good book - and definitely better (probably less hastily written) than her other December release, "Itoshi no bara hime".
The protagonist is Hira Kazunari, a high school student suffering from dysphemia. While he managed to avoid to be the object of active bullying so far, he spent most of his student days being ignored by everyone else. That changes in his second year of high school, when he's in the same class as Kiyoi. Hira is completely blown away by the sight of Kiyoi, and as a result ends up stuttering, which ends up being the reason for him being treated like a slave by the ruling clique - which Kiyoi is a part of. Hira doesn't mind doing things like getting food or reserving seats if it's for Kiyoi. Kiyoi, beautiful and aloof and incredibly self-centered, is like a king for Hira. Hira's obsession with Kiyoi is definitely creepy, and stalkerish, but when Kiyoi realizes that Hira is in love with him, he actually seems to enjoy Hira's attention. The occasionally spend some time together, and those times are like treasures for Hira. However, when high school comes to an end and Kiyoi tells him "goodbye", giving him his first kiss as a parting gift, Hira realizes that this is when he has to stop following Kiyoi and cut ties with him, taking the fact that his mobile phone fell into a puddle as a sign.
After graduation, Hira enters university, which is refreshingly different from high school. He even makes friends in the photography club, and he's especially close to the kind Koyama. As the two of them spend more and more time together, Hira one day more or less accidentally reveals that he was in love with a boy in high school - Koyama's reaction to this is to confess to Hira that he's fallen in love with him. For Hira, this comes completely as a surprise - for him, it's always been Kiyoi. But just as he has decided to be with Koyama, Kiyoi comes back into Hira's life - and, like a violent storm, ends the calm in a second. Hira soon is as obsessed with Kiyoi as before, but he doesn't dare approach him. Kiyoi models part-time and also acts in plays occasionally, and when Hira goes to see one of the plays it's Kiyoi who starts talking to him.
The conversation ultimately ends when Kiyoi asks Hira, "Who are you in love with, Koyama or me?" which Hira doesn't understand at all. What kind of question is that?
And that's where the POV switches and it really gets interesting. We get to see things from Kiyoi's POV, and that is what makes this book work. In the end, the problem is that Kiyoi is in love with Hira, but Hira does not consider himself worthy of Kiyoi, which is a pretty rare conflict. I don't want to spoil this more than I already have, but it was really unexpected and very well done.
Both main characters aren't exactly the kind of people I'd like to be friends with, but their relationship - as fucked up as it is - definitely seems to work for them. And I enjoyed the unusual dynamic where "uke" literally only means that he's the one bottoming during sex. I kept fearing the worst during the entire book but there isn't one non-con scene anywhere.
This is a book I definitely want to reread at some point, without the fear of something horrible about to happen. While Hira is creepy, I've definitely read worse, and it works in the context of the book AND it isn't glorified - Hira actually is aware he's being creepy, and Kiyoi is telling him so, too, all of which allowed me to actually enjoy this.
And I have to say, she also captured the dynamics of bullying very well. Luckily, Hira's experiences and thoughts were different enough from mine so I could appreciate that rather than get upset because of it.
This book shows that if she takes her time, she really is fantastic. It's not the kind of book to turn into a comfort read, but then neither is "Oyasumi nasai". Out of the six releases of this year there was only one I didn't like that much, which I'd say is a pretty good quota. There's a reason she is my favourite, after all. (And I'm so glad this didn't turn into another "Loveholic".)
Ever since reading her blog entry regarding this book, I pictured the worst. She wrote that it was about a creepy seme, which she loves, and while she had a lot of fun writing it, afterwards she worried it was too creepy. The first thing that came to mind was one of her earlier novels, "Loveholic", which was seriously disturbing and which I am still trying my best to forget. So I waited until I was in the mood for something like I expected - but in the end it was nearly as bad as "Loveholic". It could be that my expecting the worst helped (although I kept expecting something horrible) but this really was a good book - and definitely better (probably less hastily written) than her other December release, "Itoshi no bara hime".
The protagonist is Hira Kazunari, a high school student suffering from dysphemia. While he managed to avoid to be the object of active bullying so far, he spent most of his student days being ignored by everyone else. That changes in his second year of high school, when he's in the same class as Kiyoi. Hira is completely blown away by the sight of Kiyoi, and as a result ends up stuttering, which ends up being the reason for him being treated like a slave by the ruling clique - which Kiyoi is a part of. Hira doesn't mind doing things like getting food or reserving seats if it's for Kiyoi. Kiyoi, beautiful and aloof and incredibly self-centered, is like a king for Hira. Hira's obsession with Kiyoi is definitely creepy, and stalkerish, but when Kiyoi realizes that Hira is in love with him, he actually seems to enjoy Hira's attention. The occasionally spend some time together, and those times are like treasures for Hira. However, when high school comes to an end and Kiyoi tells him "goodbye", giving him his first kiss as a parting gift, Hira realizes that this is when he has to stop following Kiyoi and cut ties with him, taking the fact that his mobile phone fell into a puddle as a sign.
After graduation, Hira enters university, which is refreshingly different from high school. He even makes friends in the photography club, and he's especially close to the kind Koyama. As the two of them spend more and more time together, Hira one day more or less accidentally reveals that he was in love with a boy in high school - Koyama's reaction to this is to confess to Hira that he's fallen in love with him. For Hira, this comes completely as a surprise - for him, it's always been Kiyoi. But just as he has decided to be with Koyama, Kiyoi comes back into Hira's life - and, like a violent storm, ends the calm in a second. Hira soon is as obsessed with Kiyoi as before, but he doesn't dare approach him. Kiyoi models part-time and also acts in plays occasionally, and when Hira goes to see one of the plays it's Kiyoi who starts talking to him.
The conversation ultimately ends when Kiyoi asks Hira, "Who are you in love with, Koyama or me?" which Hira doesn't understand at all. What kind of question is that?
And that's where the POV switches and it really gets interesting. We get to see things from Kiyoi's POV, and that is what makes this book work. In the end, the problem is that Kiyoi is in love with Hira, but Hira does not consider himself worthy of Kiyoi, which is a pretty rare conflict. I don't want to spoil this more than I already have, but it was really unexpected and very well done.
Both main characters aren't exactly the kind of people I'd like to be friends with, but their relationship - as fucked up as it is - definitely seems to work for them. And I enjoyed the unusual dynamic where "uke" literally only means that he's the one bottoming during sex. I kept fearing the worst during the entire book but there isn't one non-con scene anywhere.
This is a book I definitely want to reread at some point, without the fear of something horrible about to happen. While Hira is creepy, I've definitely read worse, and it works in the context of the book AND it isn't glorified - Hira actually is aware he's being creepy, and Kiyoi is telling him so, too, all of which allowed me to actually enjoy this.
And I have to say, she also captured the dynamics of bullying very well. Luckily, Hira's experiences and thoughts were different enough from mine so I could appreciate that rather than get upset because of it.
This book shows that if she takes her time, she really is fantastic. It's not the kind of book to turn into a comfort read, but then neither is "Oyasumi nasai". Out of the six releases of this year there was only one I didn't like that much, which I'd say is a pretty good quota. There's a reason she is my favourite, after all. (And I'm so glad this didn't turn into another "Loveholic".)
January 14, 2022
Liked the drama so I read the book.
Some of the differences at first really surprised me. Hira still lived with his parents for all of high school, he meets Kiyoi in year 2 of high school (basically most of the high school part of the drama happens in year 2 of high school in the book), Kiyoi puts his phone number into Hira's phone not on his hand, Kiyoi doesn't walk in late to the classroom on the first day and "save" Hira, etc. I was so shocked at that though - how could the first moment Kiyoi "saves" Hira not be in the book - but eventually I realized it's cause of course, the book is more of a slow burn. Hira still thinks Kiyoi is beautiful when he first seems him, but the point when Hira really comes around to deeply liking Kiyoi and feeling saved by him is when Kiyoi tells off Yoshida when Yoshida tells Hira to clean up the water from the spilled bucket.
There are so many differences between the drama and the book, especially in the part of the book after high school, but I got over that hill pretty quickly. The book almost totally departs from the drama after high school, though not completely. There are still a few scenes that are similar and some things the characters say are taken directly from the book but mostly it's different.
The book seemed a lot darker than the drama. Both Hira and Kiyoi seem more strange and brutal in the book. Kiyoi is more of a jerk - there aren't really any soft scenes in high school between the two of them like there is in the drama. Hira enjoys taking photos of people in places "made for humans" and then erasing the people from the photos using editing software. The fireworks scene (they go to see real fireworks in the book) is super depressing in the book because Hira just gets used and has a terrible day and that's it. Some of it felt quite brutal.
Hira and Kiyoi are two very flawed people unable to properly express themselves and have a strange sort of relationship. Hira is so traumatized and paralyzed by his past because of being ostracized because of his stutter that he's put himself in this dark hole that he can't get out of. He clings to Kiyoi as his saviour, as his "king". Kiyoi has his own problems though. Neither of them have any chill, none. It's sort of beautiful in it's awfulness though, highlighting the strange parts of human nature and how love can distort you but also save you.
Something I didn't realize from the drama was that Hira is the dominant sexual partner in this BL relationship. I was kinda shocked. And on that note, I could have done without the graphic sex scenes, which is a reason why I stay away from BL usually but the drama was too good. And I'll probably read the sequels at some point anyway.
(Read Japanese version)
Some of the differences at first really surprised me. Hira still lived with his parents for all of high school, he meets Kiyoi in year 2 of high school (basically most of the high school part of the drama happens in year 2 of high school in the book), Kiyoi puts his phone number into Hira's phone not on his hand, Kiyoi doesn't walk in late to the classroom on the first day and "save" Hira, etc. I was so shocked at that though - how could the first moment Kiyoi "saves" Hira not be in the book - but eventually I realized it's cause of course, the book is more of a slow burn. Hira still thinks Kiyoi is beautiful when he first seems him, but the point when Hira really comes around to deeply liking Kiyoi and feeling saved by him is when Kiyoi tells off Yoshida when Yoshida tells Hira to clean up the water from the spilled bucket.
There are so many differences between the drama and the book, especially in the part of the book after high school, but I got over that hill pretty quickly. The book almost totally departs from the drama after high school, though not completely. There are still a few scenes that are similar and some things the characters say are taken directly from the book but mostly it's different.
The book seemed a lot darker than the drama. Both Hira and Kiyoi seem more strange and brutal in the book. Kiyoi is more of a jerk - there aren't really any soft scenes in high school between the two of them like there is in the drama. Hira enjoys taking photos of people in places "made for humans" and then erasing the people from the photos using editing software. The fireworks scene (they go to see real fireworks in the book) is super depressing in the book because Hira just gets used and has a terrible day and that's it. Some of it felt quite brutal.
Hira and Kiyoi are two very flawed people unable to properly express themselves and have a strange sort of relationship. Hira is so traumatized and paralyzed by his past because of being ostracized because of his stutter that he's put himself in this dark hole that he can't get out of. He clings to Kiyoi as his saviour, as his "king". Kiyoi has his own problems though. Neither of them have any chill, none. It's sort of beautiful in it's awfulness though, highlighting the strange parts of human nature and how love can distort you but also save you.
Something I didn't realize from the drama was that Hira is the dominant sexual partner in this BL relationship. I was kinda shocked. And on that note, I could have done without the graphic sex scenes, which is a reason why I stay away from BL usually but the drama was too good. And I'll probably read the sequels at some point anyway.
(Read Japanese version)
July 25, 2024
If "unhealthy" is your preferred style of romance, do I have a book for you.
Read
September 20, 2024Almost a DNF for me but since it was only 250 pages I stuck with it. The MC has a stutter so as a Speech Pathologist, I thought I was going to love him. However, by the end of the book I couldn't stand how belittling he was of himself while absolutely worshiping the man who constantly called him gross and annoying.
I did like the POV change where we finally understood a little bit more about why the ML is such an asshole (but it's not enough IMO).
If I had read what the author said in her Afterword I probably would have known this book is not for me...
"I like bottoms who are stubborn, beautiful, and have a good head on their shoulders despite being a little mean. But when it comes to tops, I really adore sickening guys. But they can’t just be disgusting. I do have a type. I love tops who are pure-hearted despite being super negative, the kind of guys who love their partners a little too much. The guys who apologize profusely on their hands and knees and can’t stop blaming themselves for being worthless, the kind who are always rushing in the wrong direction."
Unfortunately, this book had one too many things I don't care for in a story that just made it unenjoyable for me.
🔴Bully romance- mostly verbal
🔴Miscommunication because of pride
🔴MC thinks he's unworthy of ML and ML enforces this
I am fine if I never hear/read the word "gross" again.
I did like the POV change where we finally understood a little bit more about why the ML is such an asshole (but it's not enough IMO).
If I had read what the author said in her Afterword I probably would have known this book is not for me...
"I like bottoms who are stubborn, beautiful, and have a good head on their shoulders despite being a little mean. But when it comes to tops, I really adore sickening guys. But they can’t just be disgusting. I do have a type. I love tops who are pure-hearted despite being super negative, the kind of guys who love their partners a little too much. The guys who apologize profusely on their hands and knees and can’t stop blaming themselves for being worthless, the kind who are always rushing in the wrong direction."
Unfortunately, this book had one too many things I don't care for in a story that just made it unenjoyable for me.
🔴Bully romance- mostly verbal
🔴Miscommunication because of pride
🔴MC thinks he's unworthy of ML and ML enforces this
I am fine if I never hear/read the word "gross" again.
January 10, 2020
maaaan it's been forever since i've been so hooked on a book to the point i was like sleep?
fuck sleep.
from beginning to end... had me holding my breath like if they don't become a damn couple by the end of this book imma flip. this volume is mostly in hira's pov, a loner who is a meek, shy, stuttering, borderline (i mean entirely) stalker/obsessive, angsty as shit seme. and kiyoi? wtf with that synopsis, had me thinking he was a mean ass kid who likes to play bully on the weak but really, kiyoi is good shit despite being almost (i mean entirely) narcissistic asf. his high school "buddies" though can suck a dirty dick, they. oh, don't get me started. jealous little dipshits, they are :/
hira is alienated and laughed at by his class since elementary school due to his speech impediment - therefore, he's used to being lonely. "used to" doesn't mean he enjoys it, lemme just stay hira got some dark ass thoughts in his mind. his mental images and desire for people to blow up, to grab a machine gun and drill them w/ holes (no matter the circumstance, that's some fucked up shit), take photos of people outside so he can photoshop them out as if god is casting punishment on the humans and getting rid of them from this world, etc. hira is the kind of person who wouldn't even hurt a fly........ (except for that one time, leh cough).............. so mental images of grabbing a machine gun or hoping people would blow up is just that. a thought. but still. no fucking thx :/ his passive homicidal thoughts are a bit. hmmm :/
hira is one hell of an angsty ass, pessimistic character. did i mention that already? cuz bruh. he is. he doesn't mind people thinking he's slow asf because "so long as i don't creep them out [with the stuttering], then i'll take it". he's in the bottom of the totem pole, the bottom of the high school hierarchal pyramid. first day of 2nd year of high school and hira stutters while introducing himself, catching the attention of our uke, kiyoi.
kiyoi is the complete opposite of hira. confident, cool, always thinks of himself first and foremost, extremely good looking (kasai, the illustrator, did him good), most popular kid in class, etc who strives to become an idol, a dream he had since childhood. hira falls for kiyoi instantly and becomes almost obsessed. or hell, point-blank obsessed. i wanna say it's creepy but naw, i straight up liked how.... fixated hira becomes. the creepy semes are SO my fictional type. kiyoi pushes him away w/ cold words like, "you creep me out" etc but kiyoi has his own inner demons, and due to kiyoi's childhood of being home alone to being ignored and feeling left out by his family, he has his own reasons of gravitating towards hira.
you follow them from 2nd year of high school through their first year of college. kiyoi also has a chapter in his pov and i've actually liked kiyoi from the beginning (while his high school fucktard "buddies" were taking advantage of hira treating him like a slave, kiyoi would be the one to defend hira and set limits before the dipshits go too far. aaah yes, i like kiyoi A LOT) reading his POV. ah BLISSFUL SIGH. hell, i can read an entire novel in his pov, bias or not, it was divine.
hira can be slow as shit when it comes to READING BETWEEN THE LINES, GETTING THE HINT, LIKE WTF BRUH OPEN YOUR DAMN EYES. he's so pessimistic and places kiyoi in this god-like, high ass pedestal i'm like BRUH IMMA BITE YOU, STOP. on a positive note, i really do like the fact how aware these characters are of their own selves. they acknowledge how they feel and they hold themselves accountable for it.
whatever, i can rant for days. grab this book and read asap. i'm hella satisfied w/ how this ended so the fact there's a vol 2 and 3... about what tho'? while i'm hoping hira doesn't fuck anything up again (who am i kidding), so long as there's more kiyoi pov, i'm game.
SEE YOU NEXT VOLUME :'D
fuck sleep.
from beginning to end... had me holding my breath like if they don't become a damn couple by the end of this book imma flip. this volume is mostly in hira's pov, a loner who is a meek, shy, stuttering, borderline (i mean entirely) stalker/obsessive, angsty as shit seme. and kiyoi? wtf with that synopsis, had me thinking he was a mean ass kid who likes to play bully on the weak but really, kiyoi is good shit despite being almost (i mean entirely) narcissistic asf. his high school "buddies" though can suck a dirty dick, they. oh, don't get me started. jealous little dipshits, they are :/
hira is alienated and laughed at by his class since elementary school due to his speech impediment - therefore, he's used to being lonely. "used to" doesn't mean he enjoys it, lemme just stay hira got some dark ass thoughts in his mind. his mental images and desire for people to blow up, to grab a machine gun and drill them w/ holes (no matter the circumstance, that's some fucked up shit), take photos of people outside so he can photoshop them out as if god is casting punishment on the humans and getting rid of them from this world, etc. hira is the kind of person who wouldn't even hurt a fly........ (except for that one time, leh cough).............. so mental images of grabbing a machine gun or hoping people would blow up is just that. a thought. but still. no fucking thx :/ his passive homicidal thoughts are a bit. hmmm :/
hira is one hell of an angsty ass, pessimistic character. did i mention that already? cuz bruh. he is. he doesn't mind people thinking he's slow asf because "so long as i don't creep them out [with the stuttering], then i'll take it". he's in the bottom of the totem pole, the bottom of the high school hierarchal pyramid. first day of 2nd year of high school and hira stutters while introducing himself, catching the attention of our uke, kiyoi.
kiyoi is the complete opposite of hira. confident, cool, always thinks of himself first and foremost, extremely good looking (kasai, the illustrator, did him good), most popular kid in class, etc who strives to become an idol, a dream he had since childhood. hira falls for kiyoi instantly and becomes almost obsessed. or hell, point-blank obsessed. i wanna say it's creepy but naw, i straight up liked how.... fixated hira becomes. the creepy semes are SO my fictional type. kiyoi pushes him away w/ cold words like, "you creep me out" etc but kiyoi has his own inner demons, and due to kiyoi's childhood of being home alone to being ignored and feeling left out by his family, he has his own reasons of gravitating towards hira.
you follow them from 2nd year of high school through their first year of college. kiyoi also has a chapter in his pov and i've actually liked kiyoi from the beginning (while his high school fucktard "buddies" were taking advantage of hira treating him like a slave, kiyoi would be the one to defend hira and set limits before the dipshits go too far. aaah yes, i like kiyoi A LOT) reading his POV. ah BLISSFUL SIGH. hell, i can read an entire novel in his pov, bias or not, it was divine.
hira can be slow as shit when it comes to READING BETWEEN THE LINES, GETTING THE HINT, LIKE WTF BRUH OPEN YOUR DAMN EYES. he's so pessimistic and places kiyoi in this god-like, high ass pedestal i'm like BRUH IMMA BITE YOU, STOP. on a positive note, i really do like the fact how aware these characters are of their own selves. they acknowledge how they feel and they hold themselves accountable for it.
whatever, i can rant for days. grab this book and read asap. i'm hella satisfied w/ how this ended so the fact there's a vol 2 and 3... about what tho'? while i'm hoping hira doesn't fuck anything up again (who am i kidding), so long as there's more kiyoi pov, i'm game.
SEE YOU NEXT VOLUME :'D
November 9, 2024
I find this to be a particularly difficult book to rate. I shall start by saying that I originally watched the drama adaptation a few years back and I actually didn't enjoy it. I thought the main character Hira came across as pretty creepy and disturbing which made it hard for me to invest into their relationship. That being said, I put a lot of it down to the stilted acting and was curious enough to give the novel a chance when it was announced for an english release. As it turns out, Hira is meant to be creepy, as the author also explains in the afterword. She also explains that the love interest Kiyoi is deliberately a bit of a jerk because she didn't think a more timid character could handle Hira's creepiness - figures. What I'm saying is, it's best to keep that in mind if you're thinking about giving this book a shot.
As it stands, I do think that some of the issues I had with the drama were because of the acting. Hira has some creepy vibes to him but because we get to follow his thoughts, there are also some interesting aspects to what goes on inside his head and why he is the way he is. The truth is really, I wouldn't really say that I enjoyed this as a romance story, but it is well written (as far as a translated work allows you to judge) and does some very interesting analysis on bullying. Hira is definitely a victim of bullying and which is also a crucial contributor to his behaviour. Although he tends to bring himself down too and is often self unaware, he actually makes some very smart observations about the people around him too.
What made things even more interesting is when we get Kiyoi's point of view - he is both a bully and a victim of bullying, although he handles the situation much differently than Hira. In addition, it is very interesting to see his perspective as the bully in retrospect. I think Kiyoi's point of view was probably the most interesting part of the the novel.
Hira's obsessive love for Kiyoi, while fully deliberate on the author's part, was too over the top for me and I found some of Hira's thoughts a little too macabre. I'm even surprised some parts weren't censored, I mean, I'm not in favour of censoring content but this was translated by a US publisher and there are multiple scenes where Hira fantasises about having a go at his classmates with a machine gun - I found it very awkward to read about and I think those lines could have easily been omitted without any change to the story.
As a conclusion, I don't regret giving this novel a try to compare it to my experience with the drama, but I am also glad that it can be read as a standalone as I won't be continuing the series. It is by no means a bad book but I do think you need quite a particular taste to truly enjoy this.
Read
October 15, 2024Idk. I wish the authors afterword was at the beginning so I knew what I was getting into. I’m not a fan of creepy characters. I’m not rating it because the entire frame of the story was built on creepy guy x beautiful but nasty personality guy and it’s on me for reading a trope that’s not for me.
October 9, 2025
ohhhhh my gosh, this was giving me Oleander (by Scarlet Drake) vibes… as in the pining, the longing… the tiny teases even though the boy Hira adored was mean….. ohhh i cant wait for the next book!! Which im starting rn
February 3, 2025
"What a pervert. He's so gross. But that deviant obsession and the pleasure it instilled in him is what tied Kiyoi to Hira. They were a perfect match of supply and demand."
Okay, this book was a roller coaster to me, and I spent a good 56% of it unsure of what exactly I was reading, wondering if I even liked what I was reading, and baffled at how this was going to end up being a romance. But then chapter three hit and it was all over for me, as I realized that Kiyoi and Hira are, once again, my beloved "the only motherfucker in the city who can handle me" relationship. I can't help it. I am so compelled by these borderline disaster relationships where them being together is the only real possible outcome because both of them are insane and yet they match each other's freak to the point where their relationship is basically a containment protocol for both of them.
I will admit though, and agree with many other reviewers, that this book had a rocky start. It wasn't really fun to read about Hira's extremely negative perception of himself and the world (though it is fascinating to wonder how much was reality and how much he imagined/projected in order to make sense of the world). And Hira, through his own eyes, is kind of creepy. His adoration and obsession with, and submission to, Kiyoi, one of his bullies (though a 'nicer' one of them) during their high school years left my head spinning and my eyebrows furrowed as I struggled to figure out which specific flavor of toxic yaoi this was going to be and if I was going to like it.I also struggled, but also sympathized a little, with his occasional comments about sympathizing with teenagers driven to suicide and his passing wish for a machine gun to wipe out his classmates (I am seriously wondering if this line just hits different reading this as an American, or if the line was translated to hit this hard because it hits so hard in Japanese as well). It actively got to the point where I had no idea what I was reading, what I thought about it, or if I was even rooting for these two to get together, because Hira idolized Kiyoi to an almost disturbing degree and allowed himself to be constantly degraded in a way that had me unironically make the note "wtf is this book" on three different reading progress checks.
But then chapter three hit -- and we swapped point of views. And everything that was up in the air about this book fell into place.
I don't think I can fully explain why this point of view switch worked so well or why it was so necessary, but it did and it was. Hira is an interesting character in his own right, and I really enjoyed getting to see him level out a bit as a young adult, but in order for their relationship to work, we needed to see inside Kiyoi's head -- what he knew, what he thought, what he wanted -- and Yuu Nagira delivered on that front perfectly. Kiyoi's perspective gave me everything I needed to understand him and to root for their symbiotic relationship and more -- it actively made the book feel like a comedyof errors, given how out of sync they were in communicating, how mismatched their ideas and assumptions were about the other, and yet how perfect the two of them were for each other.
I ended the book extremely surprised at how much I ended up liking it, but also unsure if I could reread it. The earlier sections of the book left a bad enough taste in my mouth that I'm not even sure rereading them with Kiyoi's context will help. But I am interested enough in where this story goes to pick up the next volume when it comes out. Kinda wish I had bought this one digitally tho... I don't think I needed to pick up the novel and manga at the same time... sigh...
Edit: the manga adaptation is actually wonderful. Megumi Kitano captures the intricacies of Hira's personality SO well, and the whole thing is just really beautiful.
Okay, this book was a roller coaster to me, and I spent a good 56% of it unsure of what exactly I was reading, wondering if I even liked what I was reading, and baffled at how this was going to end up being a romance. But then chapter three hit and it was all over for me, as I realized that Kiyoi and Hira are, once again, my beloved "the only motherfucker in the city who can handle me" relationship. I can't help it. I am so compelled by these borderline disaster relationships where them being together is the only real possible outcome because both of them are insane and yet they match each other's freak to the point where their relationship is basically a containment protocol for both of them.
I will admit though, and agree with many other reviewers, that this book had a rocky start. It wasn't really fun to read about Hira's extremely negative perception of himself and the world (though it is fascinating to wonder how much was reality and how much he imagined/projected in order to make sense of the world). And Hira, through his own eyes, is kind of creepy. His adoration and obsession with, and submission to, Kiyoi, one of his bullies (though a 'nicer' one of them) during their high school years left my head spinning and my eyebrows furrowed as I struggled to figure out which specific flavor of toxic yaoi this was going to be and if I was going to like it.
But then chapter three hit -- and we swapped point of views. And everything that was up in the air about this book fell into place.
I don't think I can fully explain why this point of view switch worked so well or why it was so necessary, but it did and it was. Hira is an interesting character in his own right, and I really enjoyed getting to see him level out a bit as a young adult, but in order for their relationship to work, we needed to see inside Kiyoi's head -- what he knew, what he thought, what he wanted -- and Yuu Nagira delivered on that front perfectly. Kiyoi's perspective gave me everything I needed to understand him and to root for their symbiotic relationship and more -- it actively made the book feel like a comedy
I ended the book extremely surprised at how much I ended up liking it, but also unsure if I could reread it. The earlier sections of the book left a bad enough taste in my mouth that I'm not even sure rereading them with Kiyoi's context will help. But I am interested enough in where this story goes to pick up the next volume when it comes out. Kinda wish I had bought this one digitally tho... I don't think I needed to pick up the novel and manga at the same time... sigh...
Edit: the manga adaptation is actually wonderful. Megumi Kitano captures the intricacies of Hira's personality SO well, and the whole thing is just really beautiful.
March 25, 2024
It's concerning how someone can falls in love with bad character, while they been loved kindly by the good character
April 8, 2025
I truly didn't want to put this one down!
There are three things I feel I need to say at the beginning of this review:
1. This book won't be for everyone.
2. I have watched and utterly adored the series' drama adaptation, so I have my biases.
3. I adored every second of this book.
Basically, this novel had an advantage with me from the outset. I came into the read already well in love with Hira and Kiyoi and their flawed nature, separately and together. Hagiwara Riku and Yagi Yusei brought Hira and Kiyoi to life in a way that made it impossible not to hear their voices in my head as I read, which added to the experience.
These characters are so wonderfully complicated and weird. There is no black or white here, simply a vibrant gray. Hira and Kiyoi are not going to be everyone's cup of tea. Some of you are going to rage quit, calling Hira pathetic for not only being compliant in his own bullying--but falling irrevocably, madly, obsessively in love with his bully to the point of god worship. Some of you are going to find Kiyoi to be underserving as an insensitive and unapologetic love interest, finding it hard to accept him worthy of such blind devotion. Me? I enjoyed every moment of their offbeat journey.
Hira is so straightforward with his emotions and love that it is endearing, even as he sometimes says slightly unnerving things. I find great bravery in being so outspoken and unabashed about your feelings, especially when you are someone with low self-esteem and anxiety. It's also interesting to be inside the head of someone who does not sugarcoat themselves, to the point of extreme harshness. One day, he might learn to be kinder to himself, but today is not that day.
It's actually Kiyoi that goes through the most character growth in this volume of the series, and I thought it was a wise decision to give us a chapter from his perspective--and an extremely important chapter, at that. I think it gives the naysayers insight into him. It doesn't attempt to excuse or justify his behavior, just lets you experience it from his admittedly very tsundere perspective. My man may be dismissive, egocentric, and haughty, but he is also insecure, debilitated by his image of himself, and--on occasion--self-sabotaging. It was beautiful to watch him learn to be a bit more honest and forward with Hira (mostly because he realized he'd never get what he wanted with Hira otherwise), and his emotions were actually the ones that affected me the most in the volume.
These two wrapped individuals actually make for a perfect whole, and we love to see it. Or I loved to see it, anyhow.
Some other notes I have:
* was actually kind of beautiful. It was slightly unexpected, even though it probably shouldn't be, considering how much Hira reveres Kiyoi
* I thought the TL did a fantastic job (though I still mourn the loss of honorifics). I tried reading the fan TL a while back, and while I certainly can't say it was bad, it didn't put me in a chokehold the way the official TL did.
* I feel like they have more conversations in the novel, and I am a-okay with it LOL
There are three things I feel I need to say at the beginning of this review:
1. This book won't be for everyone.
2. I have watched and utterly adored the series' drama adaptation, so I have my biases.
3. I adored every second of this book.
Basically, this novel had an advantage with me from the outset. I came into the read already well in love with Hira and Kiyoi and their flawed nature, separately and together. Hagiwara Riku and Yagi Yusei brought Hira and Kiyoi to life in a way that made it impossible not to hear their voices in my head as I read, which added to the experience.
These characters are so wonderfully complicated and weird. There is no black or white here, simply a vibrant gray. Hira and Kiyoi are not going to be everyone's cup of tea. Some of you are going to rage quit, calling Hira pathetic for not only being compliant in his own bullying--but falling irrevocably, madly, obsessively in love with his bully to the point of god worship. Some of you are going to find Kiyoi to be underserving as an insensitive and unapologetic love interest, finding it hard to accept him worthy of such blind devotion. Me? I enjoyed every moment of their offbeat journey.
Hira is so straightforward with his emotions and love that it is endearing, even as he sometimes says slightly unnerving things. I find great bravery in being so outspoken and unabashed about your feelings, especially when you are someone with low self-esteem and anxiety. It's also interesting to be inside the head of someone who does not sugarcoat themselves, to the point of extreme harshness. One day, he might learn to be kinder to himself, but today is not that day.
It's actually Kiyoi that goes through the most character growth in this volume of the series, and I thought it was a wise decision to give us a chapter from his perspective--and an extremely important chapter, at that. I think it gives the naysayers insight into him. It doesn't attempt to excuse or justify his behavior, just lets you experience it from his admittedly very tsundere perspective. My man may be dismissive, egocentric, and haughty, but he is also insecure, debilitated by his image of himself, and--on occasion--self-sabotaging. It was beautiful to watch him learn to be a bit more honest and forward with Hira (mostly because he realized he'd never get what he wanted with Hira otherwise), and his emotions were actually the ones that affected me the most in the volume.
These two wrapped individuals actually make for a perfect whole, and we love to see it. Or I loved to see it, anyhow.
Some other notes I have:
* was actually kind of beautiful. It was slightly unexpected, even though it probably shouldn't be, considering how much Hira reveres Kiyoi
* I thought the TL did a fantastic job (though I still mourn the loss of honorifics). I tried reading the fan TL a while back, and while I certainly can't say it was bad, it didn't put me in a chokehold the way the official TL did.
* I feel like they have more conversations in the novel, and I am a-okay with it LOL
November 18, 2022
No se si estoy reseñando en el libro correcto, aunque sí es el mismo autor. La portada y las fotos de la promoción del drama coinciden, así que Let's gooo!!
(Posible spoiler, leer bajo la responsabilidad del consumidor 😬)
Historia que gira entorno al egocentrismo de Kiyoi. El cuál es un personaje que busca adoración y que lo encuentra en su compañero de clase Hira. Cosa que le parece repugnante pero a la vez alagador.
"Deseo ser amado hasta los límites de la razón, de forma asfixiante, que sólo tengan ojos para mí. Y sólo Hira puede concedérmelo."
Pasan los años y entre ese tiempo solo se convierten en un dios y su devoto adorador. Pero se separan al terminar la secundaria y en el recuentro con los años, Kiyoi se da cuenta que realmente ser un dios no es suficiente. Pero Hira que es un tanto especial no lo entiende.
Y en medio de malentendidos y ambas personalidades llenas de egocentrismo, va surgiendo entre ambos un romance un tanto raro.
Y os dejo una parte que sale en la serie, y de las que es mi favorita ❤️:
"- Ya eres algo así como un dios para mí. Jamás se me cruzó por la mente que alguien así pudiera estar a mi alcance.
-Pero, yo no soy un dios. "
Por cierto, si os gusta los bottom power aquí tenéis a uno 🥴.
(Posible spoiler, leer bajo la responsabilidad del consumidor 😬)
Historia que gira entorno al egocentrismo de Kiyoi. El cuál es un personaje que busca adoración y que lo encuentra en su compañero de clase Hira. Cosa que le parece repugnante pero a la vez alagador.
"Deseo ser amado hasta los límites de la razón, de forma asfixiante, que sólo tengan ojos para mí. Y sólo Hira puede concedérmelo."
Pasan los años y entre ese tiempo solo se convierten en un dios y su devoto adorador. Pero se separan al terminar la secundaria y en el recuentro con los años, Kiyoi se da cuenta que realmente ser un dios no es suficiente. Pero Hira que es un tanto especial no lo entiende.
Y en medio de malentendidos y ambas personalidades llenas de egocentrismo, va surgiendo entre ambos un romance un tanto raro.
Y os dejo una parte que sale en la serie, y de las que es mi favorita ❤️:
"- Ya eres algo así como un dios para mí. Jamás se me cruzó por la mente que alguien así pudiera estar a mi alcance.
-Pero, yo no soy un dios. "
Por cierto, si os gusta los bottom power aquí tenéis a uno 🥴.
July 14, 2025
4.5/5 ⭐
ohhh, what can I say about this novel? i think it perfectly reflects my personal tastes. Hira is a disturbing personality at times, the epitome of unease, but at the same time, im sure we all saw something we could identify with in his insecurities. sure, his adoration of Kiyoi is almost borderline sane (considering how they began their acquaintance... help!), but... deep down, i think he's gradually improved.
Kiyoi is my favorite character, even though he appears self-assured, the usual cold beauty, he reveals himself as a boy who has just become an adult with his own insecurities (also due to family, work, and studies) and who doesn't hesitate to bring them out when he's with the person he loves. even though i found the narrative a bit rushed, as it catapulted us into his feelings, i think it's quite realistic for a teenager to despise something he can't really understand, like his love for Hira.
the first part of the novel, however, seemed decidedly darker, perhaps due to the incredibly strange relationship that had developed between the two, but getting to know both of them better we saw their characteristics in 360° that make them simply two boys dealing with their first love <3
ohhh, what can I say about this novel? i think it perfectly reflects my personal tastes. Hira is a disturbing personality at times, the epitome of unease, but at the same time, im sure we all saw something we could identify with in his insecurities. sure, his adoration of Kiyoi is almost borderline sane (considering how they began their acquaintance... help!), but... deep down, i think he's gradually improved.
Kiyoi is my favorite character, even though he appears self-assured, the usual cold beauty, he reveals himself as a boy who has just become an adult with his own insecurities (also due to family, work, and studies) and who doesn't hesitate to bring them out when he's with the person he loves. even though i found the narrative a bit rushed, as it catapulted us into his feelings, i think it's quite realistic for a teenager to despise something he can't really understand, like his love for Hira.
the first part of the novel, however, seemed decidedly darker, perhaps due to the incredibly strange relationship that had developed between the two, but getting to know both of them better we saw their characteristics in 360° that make them simply two boys dealing with their first love <3
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 28, 2022
The boys are so pretty ❤️❤️❤️
April 21, 2025
As I watched the drama adaptation a couple of years ago, I don't remember more than the broad strokes and practically went in blind. Thankfully, the story is just as good this time around. Both Hirai and Kiyoi are complicated characters with flaws and insecurities. It's fun to see them navigate through their hangups and somehow end up together. On one hand, I sympathize with Kiyoi as Hirai has such low self-esteem that he can't conceptualize Kiyoi liking him back. Yet the situation isn't all Hirai's fault: how is he supposed to know if Kiyoi never say what he means? The switch in perspective is masterfully done and elevates the story than if it stays in Hirai's POV the entire time. While the story definitely isn't for everyone, I enjoyed it a lot and considered it one of my favorite romances of all time.
November 11, 2022
Actual rating: 5/5
I started reading this book before the drama was even announced and now I have finished it long after I have watched the drama (it just takes me way too long to finish a book in Japanese). I was super excited for the show because the story had already won me over, the drama is really good but the book is excellent.
The characters are deeply flawed. Hira Kazunari has struggled his entire life with dysphemia and has been mocked for it. As a result, he is extremely shy, struggles with his mental health and especially self-worth. The book does get quite dark at times in the beginning. Kuyoi Sou on the other hand is the handsome, popular guy at school, who joins the others in being cruel to Hira but somehow manages to keep them in check? The book does an amazing job capturing high school dynamics and how merciless they can be. And Kiyou certainly is no angel but very much participates in the abuse that Hira is facing.
I love flawed characters and both of them are exactly that and while they manage to talk and make their relationship work, they have certainly not overcome them by the end of the book and I really appreciate it for that!
I also REALLY appreciate that the book waits until they are both at University to fully deal with their relationship and their high school past. It not only managed to capture the shift that many people experience when moving from the oppressive environment in high school to university where they can find their people and be more accepted. Also, it allows distance for them to reflect on their past and they are actually of age when they get together (I have been burnt by too much Japanese media in this regard, so it feels necessary to point it out).
I started reading this book before the drama was even announced and now I have finished it long after I have watched the drama (it just takes me way too long to finish a book in Japanese). I was super excited for the show because the story had already won me over, the drama is really good but the book is excellent.
The characters are deeply flawed. Hira Kazunari has struggled his entire life with dysphemia and has been mocked for it. As a result, he is extremely shy, struggles with his mental health and especially self-worth. The book does get quite dark at times in the beginning. Kuyoi Sou on the other hand is the handsome, popular guy at school, who joins the others in being cruel to Hira but somehow manages to keep them in check? The book does an amazing job capturing high school dynamics and how merciless they can be. And Kiyou certainly is no angel but very much participates in the abuse that Hira is facing.
I love flawed characters and both of them are exactly that and while they manage to talk and make their relationship work, they have certainly not overcome them by the end of the book and I really appreciate it for that!
I also REALLY appreciate that the book waits until they are both at University to fully deal with their relationship and their high school past. It not only managed to capture the shift that many people experience when moving from the oppressive environment in high school to university where they can find their people and be more accepted. Also, it allows distance for them to reflect on their past and they are actually of age when they get together (I have been burnt by too much Japanese media in this regard, so it feels necessary to point it out).
August 27, 2023
Khi yandere và tsundere yêu nhau =)) Cảnh báo tính cách hai đứa này cực kỳ dị, đọc nửa đầu truyện mình khá khó chịu (và ko tin đây từng là tác giả khiến mình khóc nức nở) nhưng nửa sau truyện lại bắt đầu thấy cũng cuti :)) (tuy là vẫn còn dị nha, đúng là Nhật :v)
Nói chung là giờ hóng tiếp tập 2 xem chuyện tình hai đứa này thế này vì bạn top rõ là kiểu yan ngầm =)))
p/s: art minh hoạ đẹp tuyệt vời luôn, mấy cảnh hôn vẽ hết nước chấm 🧎🏻♀️
Nói chung là giờ hóng tiếp tập 2 xem chuyện tình hai đứa này thế này vì bạn top rõ là kiểu yan ngầm =)))
p/s: art minh hoạ đẹp tuyệt vời luôn, mấy cảnh hôn vẽ hết nước chấm 🧎🏻♀️
September 2, 2024
It’s suffocating—nevertheless, Caste Heaven is unspeakably worse than this.
June 16, 2025
Unless you have all of the manga volumes to binge at once, I highly recommend starting with the novel.
I read volume 1 of the manga and felt like I didn’t have enough information to really decide if I liked the series. I had so many questions about both characters but getting both of their perspectives was -chefs kiss-. Now I can finally understand more things between them and I’m rooting for their relationship.
Hira constantly calling himself a kept man absolutely cracked me up.
Thanks so much to the publisher for a copy! I’m heading off to buy volume 2 right now.
I read volume 1 of the manga and felt like I didn’t have enough information to really decide if I liked the series. I had so many questions about both characters but getting both of their perspectives was -chefs kiss-. Now I can finally understand more things between them and I’m rooting for their relationship.
Hira constantly calling himself a kept man absolutely cracked me up.
Thanks so much to the publisher for a copy! I’m heading off to buy volume 2 right now.
January 14, 2025
obsessed with these guys but not as much as theyre obsessed with each other. freak4freak
May 5, 2025
I love my idiotic gay sons
August 7, 2025
5 ⭐️
Ahhh this was unexpected. An awesome book with a very creepy and very callous characters.
The book is weird, it’s a bit gross. But it’s awesome.
Ahhh this was unexpected. An awesome book with a very creepy and very callous characters.
The book is weird, it’s a bit gross. But it’s awesome.
September 24, 2025
I swear a lot of the stuff at the end was actually in the second season of the drama. To be honest, the drama did have some deviations and the manga is definitely closer to the original novel. The novel gives more context and detail to how Kiyoi thinks an sees thing more than the first season of the drama did. Kiyoi is a little bit more likeable in this than he was in the first season of the drama. Hira is arguably actually worse in this than the drama, but I suppose that is actually the point.
June 17, 2022
ตัวละครหลักทั้งฮิระและคิโยอิบิดเบี้ยวพอสมควร แต่เพราะบิดเบี้ยวนี่ล่ะถึงได้อ่านสนุก เป็นตัวละครแบบที่ไม่ค่อยได้เห็นในนิยายสักเท่าไร (โดยเฉพาะนิยายวาย) ชอบการบรรยายความรู้สึกนึกคิดในใจตัวละครทั้งสองตัว ละเอียดอ่อนและสมจริงจนรู้สึกเหมือนเป็นบุคคลที่มีเลือดเนื้อจริงๆเลย
April 19, 2024
Es una historia de amor retorcido entre Hira, un chico solitario y raro que padece un trastorno del habla, y Kiyoi, un chico apuesto, popular y voluntarioso. La historia está contada en 3 actos, pero el cambio de voz narrativa es lo que mejor divide la historia. Toda la primera parte está contada a través de los ojos de Hira, mientras que la segunda es contada desde la perspectiva de Kiyoi.
Primero me vi el live action los actores me gustaron pero definitivamente no me gusto tanto como historia o como romance en general, el activo de la relación me desesperaba por sus problemas de autoestima y su nula dignidad y amor propio, el bottom de la relación Kiyoi realidad es alguien muy tóxico,manipulador y controlador, celoso, impulsivo y algo agresivo en sus demostraciones de afecto
Ambos son estudiantes de secundaria y creo que podría entender como su relación sufre una degeneración constante, un declive, y una aceptación.
Creo que en la novela pude entender mejor mucho más de como es que su relación funcionó, y es que en LA realmente se sentía como un amor salido de la nada, hira es un chico tímido y con problemas del habla, callado y sereno hasta que se enamora de Kiyoi cuando este distrajo la atención de los demás cuando entro al salón y hira pudo evitarse una vergüenza, se obsesiono y terminó sirviéndole como un esclavo, lo veía como un rey y como la idealización de la belleza y de todo lo que quería como una obsesión, sus rumbos se divergeron después de la secundaria, hira siguió en la universidad y en sus clubes de fotografía y Kiyoi como actor y modelo, ya que su apariencia era muy buena
Se volvieron a encontrar, se hicieron más cercanos y se confesaron sus anhelos, Kiyoi quería realmente a hira aunque no sabía del todo porque, tuvo que ayudar a quitar la idealización que este tenía de su persona hasta que por fin pudieron tratarse como personas normales
Hay varias escenas sexuales en la novela, y
Por fin pude entender que veía Kiyoi realmente en hira y es que este viene de padres divorciados y su madre nunca tuvo tiempo para él, Kiyoi le teme a la soledad y pocas veces a sentido afecto y todo empeoro después de que su madre se casó e hizo una familia desde cero, siempre quiso estar rodeado y amado y así fue como apesar de que hira lo ponía de los nervios, aun así pudo ver en su mirada algo que anhelaba, reconocimiento, afecto intenso, obediencia y a alguien que solo lo miraba a él y es que aunque sus actos hablaran con palabras crueles y agresión la realidad es que estaba igual de obsesionado de hira que hira de él, lo pensaba, lo extrañaba, lo anhelaba pero su dignidad, su vergüenza y sus problemas de comunicación siempre evitaron que pudiera ser sincero con sus sentimientos, así que tuvieron un camino largo que tomar y seguir
Si me gusto más que el LA y si es más entretenido
☆●☆●☆●☆●☆●☆●☆☆●☆●☆●☆●☆●☆●☆●
en la línea de visión de Hira. El transitar por los pasillos y ver sus ojos a lo lejos, lo hacía sentir increíble. Por lo que solo podía pensar 'Mírame más 'Solo mírame a mi'
●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●
Quería realmente estar junto a Hira pero, '¿Por qué tengo que decir tal cosa de mí mismo?'
Sería buena idea que Hira se lo pidieran. Por lo que ese día no dijo nada, pero hasta el dia de hoy sigue sin decirlo.
●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●
Desde que estaba en la escuela secundaria, Kiyoi estaba más interesado en los talentos y actores masculinos que en las mujeres, incluso cuando miraba televisión, lo que siempre admiraba eran los Idol masculinos.
Gracias a su bendita apariencia, era tan popular entre las mujeres y los hombres. Pero el solo podía
mirar a Hira. Solo Hira es especial, aparte de eso, tanto hombres como mujeres lo continúan persiguiendo.
La primera vez que se enamoró de un hombre, era un estudiante de secundaria que estaba cerca de él día tras día. Esa fue la vez, que comenzó su historia malograda de amor.
●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●
Hay algunos actores y modelos famoos, e incluso varios hombres que se sienten atraídos por él. Pero cuando intenta hacer algo, lo ojos de Hira se cruzan en él por alguna razón. Por lo que, Kiyoi comienza a comparar a la persona que tiene frente en él con Hira. Sus sentimientos se excitan y todo termina sin un solo beso.
'Que diablos es esto, que maldito hombre es, que hace que me enamores así de él. Pasan los meses y continuo sin actualizar mi primer beso. ¿Por qué no puedo olvidar a ese enfermo? ¿Por qué debería espetar tal encuentro? Esto es muy malo. Todo es culpa de Hira, pero ahora él tiene un amante. ¡Solo desapareció para yenes un amante! Mientras yo, ¡no puedo besar a nadie!!
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No hay ni bueno ni malo en lo que siente por Kiyoi. Se alegra cuando pasan cosas buenas y se entristece cuando pasan cosas malas. No tiene una idea clara de lo que aquello significa.
'Kioyi es como una tormenta repentina que no puede ser evitada por su propia voluntad y esfuerzo.' Kiyoi era ese tipo de existencia.
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El transitar por los pasillos y ver sus ojos a lo lejos, lo hacía sentir increíble.
Por lo que solo podía pensar 'Mírame más 'Solo mírame a mi'
La Linea de visión recta y fuerte de Hira se adentra en la parte profunda de Kiyoi antes de darse cuenta. De hecho, sólo quería a Hira para el mismo, sin dejarlo escapar.
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Pueden haber sucedidos muchas cosas, pero después de todo, la mirada de Hira sigue fluyendo en una sola dirección.
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Es amor mirar fijamente, así que, honestamente, estoy feliz.
Sin embargo vi muchas de las mismas fotografías, solo que con un procesamiento diferente, de repente me atrajo un poco el peso del amor, es comprensible que quieras una foto de tu persona favorita, pero no puedes permitirte tener tantas.
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Vengo a quedarme casi todos los días y Hira me acepta felizmente. Soy optimista de que si sigo así, tarde o temprano seremos amantes, cómo siempre lo he querido, pero por otro lado, empiezo a sentirme impaciente con la sensación de distancia que no disminuye en absoluto.
Hira es una esclavo ideal y un fan serio, demasiado serio....'
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Primero me vi el live action los actores me gustaron pero definitivamente no me gusto tanto como historia o como romance en general, el activo de la relación me desesperaba por sus problemas de autoestima y su nula dignidad y amor propio, el bottom de la relación Kiyoi realidad es alguien muy tóxico,manipulador y controlador, celoso, impulsivo y algo agresivo en sus demostraciones de afecto
Ambos son estudiantes de secundaria y creo que podría entender como su relación sufre una degeneración constante, un declive, y una aceptación.
Creo que en la novela pude entender mejor mucho más de como es que su relación funcionó, y es que en LA realmente se sentía como un amor salido de la nada, hira es un chico tímido y con problemas del habla, callado y sereno hasta que se enamora de Kiyoi cuando este distrajo la atención de los demás cuando entro al salón y hira pudo evitarse una vergüenza, se obsesiono y terminó sirviéndole como un esclavo, lo veía como un rey y como la idealización de la belleza y de todo lo que quería como una obsesión, sus rumbos se divergeron después de la secundaria, hira siguió en la universidad y en sus clubes de fotografía y Kiyoi como actor y modelo, ya que su apariencia era muy buena
Se volvieron a encontrar, se hicieron más cercanos y se confesaron sus anhelos, Kiyoi quería realmente a hira aunque no sabía del todo porque, tuvo que ayudar a quitar la idealización que este tenía de su persona hasta que por fin pudieron tratarse como personas normales
Hay varias escenas sexuales en la novela, y
Por fin pude entender que veía Kiyoi realmente en hira y es que este viene de padres divorciados y su madre nunca tuvo tiempo para él, Kiyoi le teme a la soledad y pocas veces a sentido afecto y todo empeoro después de que su madre se casó e hizo una familia desde cero, siempre quiso estar rodeado y amado y así fue como apesar de que hira lo ponía de los nervios, aun así pudo ver en su mirada algo que anhelaba, reconocimiento, afecto intenso, obediencia y a alguien que solo lo miraba a él y es que aunque sus actos hablaran con palabras crueles y agresión la realidad es que estaba igual de obsesionado de hira que hira de él, lo pensaba, lo extrañaba, lo anhelaba pero su dignidad, su vergüenza y sus problemas de comunicación siempre evitaron que pudiera ser sincero con sus sentimientos, así que tuvieron un camino largo que tomar y seguir
Si me gusto más que el LA y si es más entretenido
☆●☆●☆●☆●☆●☆●☆☆●☆●☆●☆●☆●☆●☆●
en la línea de visión de Hira. El transitar por los pasillos y ver sus ojos a lo lejos, lo hacía sentir increíble. Por lo que solo podía pensar 'Mírame más 'Solo mírame a mi'
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Quería realmente estar junto a Hira pero, '¿Por qué tengo que decir tal cosa de mí mismo?'
Sería buena idea que Hira se lo pidieran. Por lo que ese día no dijo nada, pero hasta el dia de hoy sigue sin decirlo.
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Desde que estaba en la escuela secundaria, Kiyoi estaba más interesado en los talentos y actores masculinos que en las mujeres, incluso cuando miraba televisión, lo que siempre admiraba eran los Idol masculinos.
Gracias a su bendita apariencia, era tan popular entre las mujeres y los hombres. Pero el solo podía
mirar a Hira. Solo Hira es especial, aparte de eso, tanto hombres como mujeres lo continúan persiguiendo.
La primera vez que se enamoró de un hombre, era un estudiante de secundaria que estaba cerca de él día tras día. Esa fue la vez, que comenzó su historia malograda de amor.
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Hay algunos actores y modelos famoos, e incluso varios hombres que se sienten atraídos por él. Pero cuando intenta hacer algo, lo ojos de Hira se cruzan en él por alguna razón. Por lo que, Kiyoi comienza a comparar a la persona que tiene frente en él con Hira. Sus sentimientos se excitan y todo termina sin un solo beso.
'Que diablos es esto, que maldito hombre es, que hace que me enamores así de él. Pasan los meses y continuo sin actualizar mi primer beso. ¿Por qué no puedo olvidar a ese enfermo? ¿Por qué debería espetar tal encuentro? Esto es muy malo. Todo es culpa de Hira, pero ahora él tiene un amante. ¡Solo desapareció para yenes un amante! Mientras yo, ¡no puedo besar a nadie!!
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No hay ni bueno ni malo en lo que siente por Kiyoi. Se alegra cuando pasan cosas buenas y se entristece cuando pasan cosas malas. No tiene una idea clara de lo que aquello significa.
'Kioyi es como una tormenta repentina que no puede ser evitada por su propia voluntad y esfuerzo.' Kiyoi era ese tipo de existencia.
●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●
El transitar por los pasillos y ver sus ojos a lo lejos, lo hacía sentir increíble.
Por lo que solo podía pensar 'Mírame más 'Solo mírame a mi'
La Linea de visión recta y fuerte de Hira se adentra en la parte profunda de Kiyoi antes de darse cuenta. De hecho, sólo quería a Hira para el mismo, sin dejarlo escapar.
●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●
Pueden haber sucedidos muchas cosas, pero después de todo, la mirada de Hira sigue fluyendo en una sola dirección.
●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●
Es amor mirar fijamente, así que, honestamente, estoy feliz.
Sin embargo vi muchas de las mismas fotografías, solo que con un procesamiento diferente, de repente me atrajo un poco el peso del amor, es comprensible que quieras una foto de tu persona favorita, pero no puedes permitirte tener tantas.
●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●
Vengo a quedarme casi todos los días y Hira me acepta felizmente. Soy optimista de que si sigo así, tarde o temprano seremos amantes, cómo siempre lo he querido, pero por otro lado, empiezo a sentirme impaciente con la sensación de distancia que no disminuye en absoluto.
Hira es una esclavo ideal y un fan serio, demasiado serio....'
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This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 13, 2021
ฮิระมีอาการพูดติดอ่างตั้งแต่เด็ก ประกอบกับบุคลิกที่เป็นคนมืดมนจึงถูกแกล้งและไม่มีเพื่อน แต่เขาก็เข้าใจดีว่าเป็นเรื่องธรรมดาของคนที่อยู่ 'ลำดับชั้นล่างสุดของสังคม' และทำใจยอมรับสถานการณ์ที่ตัวเองเผชิญอยู่เรื่อยมา จนกระทั่งฮิระได้พบกับคิโยอิ เพื่อนร่วมชั้น ม.ปลาย คิโยอิมีรูปร่างหน้าตางดงาม เป็นศูนย์กลางความสนใจในห้อง อีกทั้งยังมีอนาคตไกลว่าจะได้เป็นดารา แต่ถึงกระนั้นก็มีนิสัยที่เฉียบขาดไม่โอนอ่อนผ่อนผันไปตามคนอื่น ความเด็ดเดี่ยวและงดงามของคิโยอิทำให้ฮิระตกหลุมรักตั้งแต่แรกพบ และสาบานกับตัวเองว่าจะเป็นทาสของราชาผู้งดงามนี้ไปชั่วชีวิต...
เรื่องนี้ขอบอกว่าชอบ ชอบมาก ชอบที่สุด!! ใครที่เป็นสายเมะมืดมนคนคลั่งรัก ขอแนะนำที่สุดในโลก ไม่มีอะไรจะคลั่งรักไปมากกว่านี้อีกแล้ว แต่ความคลั่งรักของฮิระนั้นออกจะแปลกๆเหมือนติ่งคลั่งศิลปิน ซึ่งตรงจุดนี้คุณนักเขียนนะกิระ ยู บรรยายลักษณะนิสัย ความคิดและการพัฒนาของตัวละครออกมาได้ดีมากๆ จนทำให้เราเชื่อจริงๆ
สำหรับคนที่ต้องการอ่านวายที่มีความลุ่มลึกทั้งเนื้อเรื่องและการใช้ภาษา ขอแนะนำผลงานของคนนี้ (โดยเฉพาะเล่มนี้) เลยค่ะ
เรื่องนี้ขอบอกว่าชอบ ชอบมาก ชอบที่สุด!! ใครที่เป็นสายเมะมืดมนคนคลั่งรัก ขอแนะนำที่สุดในโลก ไม่มีอะไรจะคลั่งรักไปมากกว่านี้อีกแล้ว แต่ความคลั่งรักของฮิระนั้นออกจะแปลกๆเหมือนติ่งคลั่งศิลปิน ซึ่งตรงจุดนี้คุณนักเขียนนะกิระ ยู บรรยายลักษณะนิสัย ความคิดและการพัฒนาของตัวละครออกมาได้ดีมากๆ จนทำให้เราเชื่อจริงๆ
สำหรับคนที่ต้องการอ่านวายที่มีความลุ่มลึกทั้งเนื้อเรื่องและการใช้ภาษา ขอแนะนำผลงานของคนนี้ (โดยเฉพาะเล่มนี้) เลยค่ะ
December 31, 2021
อ่านจบภายใน 2 วัน ยอมถ่างตาอ่านถึงตี 3 ถึง 2 คืนติด คือมันดีมาก เป็นแนว slice of life ตัวละครในเรื่องกลมและมีมิติมาก มีด้านเทาๆ ทุกคนในเรื่องเหมือนทำเคยทำเรื่องผิดพลาด เรียนรู้ และแก้ไข ได้เห็นการ developed ของตัวละคร คือตัวนายเอกและพระเอก รักในมุมเบี้ยวๆของกันและกัน มาเติมเต็มกันและกัน รักลึกซึ้งสุดๆ เพราะความเป็นญี่ปุ่นมากๆ แหละมั้ง เราเลยชอบมาก 4.5/5
October 10, 2018
This was unexpectedly fun and cute. Especially when Kiyoi's POV has started - it was just a pure pleasure to read. Except for maybe the sex scenes, but I rarely seem to enjoy those and I'm forever tired of conventional seme/uke stuff. Hopefully, the sequel would be just as good.
April 23, 2025
I thought this book was great. I can say that it was kind of concerning at the beginning. Hira definitely is not alright and needs some serious therapy, but I was still engaged in his story. But the story really kicked off at the halfway point when it switched over to Kiyoi's perspective.
November 17, 2019
美しい、コラボレーション、すべてが美しく完成しました、おめでとうございます！ この軽い感情的であるが、私にとっては難しいですが、まだ性交しましょう。
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