Sober Secure: An Attachment-Based Guide to Dating, Sex, and Love in Recovery

by Nina Pick

An attachment-first path to lasting build the love, safety, and belonging that keep you sober—and help your relationships thrive

Practical, body-based tools for dating, intimacy, and partnership in sobriety

Recovery isn't just about staying sober—it's about learning to love and be loved securely. Sober Secure reframes recovery through attachment, giving people in sobriety practical tools to heal early relational wounds, regulate the nervous system, and create the connections that sustain a joyful, durable recovery.

Nina Pick, MA, integrative somatic counselor and author of The Mind-Body Guide to the Twelve Steps, draws on attachment science, polyvagal theory, and somatic therapy—while honoring the strengths of Twelve Step communities. She offers clear language, vivid examples, and step-by-step practices for real dating and consent, attuned touch and intimacy, conflict and repair, and long-term partnership—on both Twelve Step and non-Twelve Step paths.

You’ll learn

Spot your attachment patterns in sobriety and move toward earned secure attachment.
Regulate your nervous system with simple somatic tools that make connection feel safer.
Trade isolating self-reliance for healthy interdependence without losing your agency.
Date with pacing and clarity; navigate sex and consent with care; deepen partnership.
Transform chronic shame and “not enough” beliefs that fuel isolation and relapse risk.

Warm, accessible, and immediately useful, Sober Secure is a loving companion for building the safety, belonging, and embodied presence that let your sobriety—and your life—fully bloom.

Kindle Edition

Expected publication August 11, 2026

About the author

Nina Pick is a somatic healing practitioner, group facilitator, and integrative counselor dedicated to helping individuals with early relational wounds develop healthy relationships and full, embodied lives.
She received an MA in counseling psychology with a focus on marriage and family therapy and an MA in comparative literature. She is a certified NeuroAffective Touch practitioner and a Safe and Sound Protocol provider, with additional training in a range of modalities spanning psychotherapy, somatics, spiritual leadership, and energy medicine.
Her books include Sober Secure and The Mind-Body Guide to the Twelve Steps. She lives in Massachusetts, where she enjoys hiking, dancing, and spending time with her cat. To learn more about her work, visit www.ninapick.com.