My Person

by Téa Mutonji

"Téa Mutonji writes sharply about the subtle ruptures endemic to formative friendships." —Raven Leilani, bestselling author of Luster

"Sexy, infuriating, and unbelievably fun to read . . . This is a writer who can read someone to filth in just one line." —Katie Yee, author of Maggie; or, A Man and a Woman Walk Into a Bar

A bold debut from an exhilarating, multi-award-winning young writer, following two lifelong friends who suddenly find themselves in an emotional deadlock when one abruptly proposes to break up after years of subtle betrayals.

Best friends of over twenty years, Tania and Margot are preparing to host their monthly Sunday Loaf dinner party, when Tania tells Margot this isn’t working for her anymore—they’ve been entangled for too long, she wants to "unknow" her. But how do you extricate yourself from someone whose family owns the apartment you live in, who has taken you in as their own, even claims you as their "person”?

As Tania attempts to live her life loudly on the outskirts of Margot’s bubble, Margot’s past betrayals become increasingly clear. But she means well, doesn’t she? They had felt like sisters from the start. Or had Tania just been blind to Margot’s antics? Set in the framework of a tense will-they-won’t-they break-up, Tania and Margot get entangled in a rigorous revision of history, their once delicate dance intensifying toward a frantic finale that neither person sees coming.

A taut, piercing exploration of race and privilege, codependency, and the ways in which world-defining friendships can be both beautifully and excruciatingly life altering, My Person is an addicting, astutely observed novel from an astonishing new talent.

Genres: Fiction, Friendship, Literary Fiction, Contemporary, Adult Fiction, Adult, Audiobook

281 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 11, 2026

About the author

Téa Mutonji is a Canadian author. She was born in the Democratic Republic of the Congo but came to Canada at a young age. She grew up in in Scarborough and Oshawa. She studied media studies and creative writing at the University of Toronto Scarborough.

Reviews

[emma]

one of my least favorite phrases in the english language.

but i'm bravely reading this anyway.

i should not have done that.

(review to come / thanks to the publisher for the e-arc)

[Kristine]

This book explores, best friends, Tania and Margot. Tania wants to end the friendship since she feels too enmeshed with Margot. It is supposed to explore privilege, race, class, and long-term friendship.

Tania is messed up. She feels constricted and controlled by her best friend. Margot may be too dependent on Tania, but feel for her more. Margot has reason to worry since Tania does many reckless things. She doesn’t take responsibility, but instead blames Margot for much of her problems. Margot does come across as naive, superficial, and entitled at times. For Example: Margot advocates for her friend when she is completely drunk and decides to be with two strange men in their thirties on a Cliff and then does not know where Tania is. Margot calls the police. Tania, is furious she did this since she says she wanted to behave this way. Sure, fine if you are sober, but she definitely was not. I don’t really know how to respond to that. Friends are supposed to look out for friends and very intoxicated ones even more.

Tania, at first seems reasonable. She needs to find her unique self. She has always lived and been around white people, so there is that issue. She also feels that she needs to be an “I” and not always a “we”. Things were made pretty easy for her by moving in with Margot and paying very little for rent so, it’s hard to grasp that only Margot gets easy breaks in life. If you want to carry on about your privileged friend, the time to do it is probably not when you are still in her apartment, paying way below renting value. It, seems logical that instead of having a dramatic set of conversations with Margot and also going nuts at their last dinner party, she would just tell Margot she needs time by herself to really grow up and figure out who she is. I would think she would have looked for an apartment first. Then move and yes, take some more time to step into being your own person.

Hard to read this book since I just couldn’t connect to Tania and really understand her decisions many times.

Thank you NetGalley and Putnam Books for a copy of this book. I always leave reviews of books I read.

[Ja’Laya Johnson]

My Person isn’t just about friendship — it’s about what happens when a friendship becomes your identity. Watching Tania slowly realize she wanted to “unknow” Margot was uncomfortable in the best way, because it felt so real. The tension wasn’t loud or dramatic — it was quiet, layered, and emotional.

What I learned from this book is that not all deep connections are healthy just because they’ve lasted a long time. Time doesn’t equal alignment. History doesn’t equal safety. And love doesn’t cancel out harm.

It also taught me that choosing yourself can feel selfish when you’ve been codependent for years — but sometimes it’s the bravest thing you can do.

The way the book explores race, privilege, blurred boundaries, and silent betrayals made the story even more powerful. It felt honest. Raw. And painfully relatable.

This isn’t a romance breakup story — it’s a friendship breakup story, and somehow that hurt more.

Such a thoughtful, emotional read.

[My.bookish.diaries]

3.5⭐️

Thank you Random House Canada for the gifted copy 💕

I love a story set in Toronto. Most things in the book captured how it is to live in Toronto and reminds me of my days living downtown…

We follow childhood friends, Tania and Margot. They’ve always been together….. and now, Tania feels the friendship has run its course and needs to end. We follow Tania as her and Margot deal with this friendship breakup throughout the book.

I liked the friend group and Rita and her wallahi’s lol reminded me of my friend group as well and was a perfect fit for Toronto life 😋

While I liked the writing and thought the premise was really interesting, I don't think the story resonated with me as much as I expected. Since everything is told through Tania's perspective, we only see her side of the friendship. Much of her narration focuses on the privileged life Margot has had, and she often places the blame for her unhappiness on Margot even when many of the choices she's making herself are reckless or ultimately not good for her.

That said, I could understand why Tania felt stuck. She's trying to figure out who she is, questioning the life she's accepted, and wondering if she wants something more for herself. Those moments felt relatable.

A few conversations being fully open with Margot may have helped the breakup go a bit more smoothly.

I also couldn't help but think that if Tania and Margot had been more open and honest with each other, a few difficult conversations might have made their friendship breakup a little less painful.

Overall, I enjoyed the writing, the Toronto setting and the realistic portrayal of a friendship falling apart…..a thoughtful exploration of growing apart and figuring out who you are.

[Izzie Furrick]

This is meant to be a story about complex, morally grey characters navigating the nuances of lifelong friendship—the audience is supposed to grapple with rooting for Tania and Margot despite their flaws. But the characters are so unlikable, they fail to evoke sympathy in the reader.

Also, at times, the writing is trying too hard to be shocking and taboo, so it comes off as juvenile.

[SCSoftballMom]

I am not really sure how I feel about this novel...while I did finish it, I'm not really sure that Tania knows why she made the choices she did.

[Anuja Varghese]

Could not put it down. Toxic friendship, bad decisions, sex and drugs and Toronto at night, a sharply seen and rendered reflection on being an artist and a woman and a woman of color and a woman of color among rich white people who love you and hate you and use you in equal measure. This is a bold book and Mutonji is an exceptional talent.

[Rachel]

"I was desperate for material that spoke directly to the great romance that is the friendship between little girls."

This book is, on its surface, about a friendship breakup. But it's really about the pain we inflict on those closest to us when we're depressed or dissatisfied with our life. When those we love the most become the target for all the self-hatred we feel.

Sometimes, being tethered to someone who has known every version of you holds you back. You need to let go to shed your past and become the truest version of yourself.

[Tammy Adams]

The premise of two long-time friends “breaking up” sounded like a great book to me. Unfortunately, the execution went sideways somewhere. Tania never seemed to know who she was or what she wanted in any area of her life. I didn’t understand any more about why she didn’t want to be friends with Margot at the end of this book than I did at the beginning. Overall, the entire book made very little sense. Tania was a very unlikable main character. I would not recommend.

[Blossom♡]

3.5 ✨️
This book had such an interesting premise. Tania wakes up one day and decides to break up with her best friend of 20 years, Margot. Which… valid, I guess? 😂 But also, I found it surprisingly difficult to fully grasp.

The story dives into some really interesting and complicated themes; race, power imbalances, codependency, control, and what happens when a friendship no longer feels healthy. Margot is understandably caught completely off guard, and from there, they both spiral as they try to find their footing outside of a friendship that has shaped so much of their lives.

The entire story is told from Tania’s POV, and honestly, that left me feeling a little unsatisfied. I would have loved to get Margot’s perspective and understand what was going through her mind. Because 20 years is a LONG time. How do you even begin to undo something that has been such an integral part of your life for that long?

That said, I’m not suggesting that the length of a relationship should determine whether you stay or leave. If you’re unhappy, you have every right to choose the exit, whether it’s been 20 years or 20 days. 🧡 I think what made this story so fascinating was exploring the messy, uncomfortable space between knowing you need to leave and actually dealing with the aftermath.

I also really enjoyed the Grey’s Anatomy references because, as a Grey’s stan myself, I was absolutely seated. 😂

Overall, I’d recommend this one. It’s thought-provoking, uncomfortable in the best way, and definitely the kind of book that makes you pause and reflect on your own friendships and what happens when a relationship that once felt like home no longer does. 🧡

[Luciluvsbooksandbags]

2.75-3⭐️ I’ll admit the synopsis of this book did not impress me but the authors note did. I was a huge Grey’s Anatomy fan so when she referenced Meredith and Cristina’s relationship as a premise for this story I was immediately intrigued. Needless to say I just could not with the FMC Tania and her reasons or lack there of for wanting to “unknow” her “best friend “ of 20+ years.

[Cassidy]

My Person is stressful and absolutely nuts. The micro aggression, self sabotage, and codependency are nails on a chalkboard…but your brain is the chalkboard and the nails are these women.

[Elissa Punkkinen]

Didnt love. Maybe because I couldn't relate but I didnt love the way the storey telling was written. Bounced around alot and felt like I was missing peices of the storey.

[Bethany Thompson]

I am wrecked. I think this book helped me to heal from a past friendship breakup that I just never… healed from. A friendship is a relationship that can be wonderful … but also if you lose it.. especially those you literally saw them in your future… can be absolutely devastate you. I fucking loved this. It was raw, real, and had me in a chokehold. Loved this.

[Danielle Brown]

Wow wow wow!
This book is layered, reflective, and a beautiful exploration of friendship, love, loss, patience, and tolerance and so much more! I went expecting commentary on friendships and friendship break ups. Ana was uncomfortably and pleasantly surprised by the depth.

Questions that I held the more I read:
Could I walk away from a friendship of decades?
What's the responsibility of each party in a friendship breakup?
How honest is too honest?
What lengths would I go through to save a friendship, even when I don't care to save it?

I am sitting with so much from this book, the power of unspoken needs and expectations. The intersectionality of race and experience within friendships. The importance of accountability and communication early and often.

The exploration of growing up together while growing apart for a multitude of reasons and experiences, felt realistic, painful, and understandable.

Tea knocked this out of the park! Thank you at #NetGalley and #Putnam #PutnamSons for this eArc!

[df parizeau]

I’m usually “Death before DNF” but if it’s wrong to abandon this book now, let god strike me down…and/or the town of Pickering make me officially unwelcome.

[Ali G]

I think I’m supposed to have mixed feelings about these morally grey friends, but honestly, both of them are so annoying and shitty I just didn’t care about them. I got over 50% of the way through and decided I didn’t care enough about either to continue with the trajectory of the story.

[Susan]

Tania and Margot have been best friends since they were 8 years old. Now approaching 30 and sharing a condo owned by Margot, Tania decides she no longer wants Margot in her life.

We’ve all been through romantic breakups and have probably all grown apart from friends as we age and our lives change, but what happens when a person wants to break up with a best friend? It’s an interesting question, and one explored well in this novel. How do you untangle more than 20 years of close friendship? Who gets “custody” of your shared friends? How does the rejected party react? Is a clean break even possible? There is a lot to reflect on and I would particularly recommend this to young women around the same age as Margot and Tania.

Thank you to NetGalley and Putnam for allowing me to read an ARC of this title.

[Michelle Brilz]

I really enjoyed this one! It was emotional, messy, and had me thinking about friendships, relationships, and how complicated people can be.

I liked the characters because they felt real. They were flawed, confusing, sometimes frustrating, but still easy to connect with. There were definitely a few parts where I did feel a little disconnected and the pacing wasn’t always my favourite, but overall I was invested in the story and wanted to see where it went.

[Charnae]

Once I read the author’s note, I just knew I was going to love this book. Unfortunately, I didn’t.

The main character, Tania, honestly just needed to grow up. She’s 29, yet she spends so much of the book blaming Margot for her dependency when, in reality, many of Tania’s own terrible decisions contributed to why she became dependent on her friend in the first place. Margot certainly wasn’t perfect, but I found Tania’s behavior toward her incredibly frustrating. Ending a friendship with no explanation or warning and then proceeding to live with that same friend was wild to me. And then treating everyone else around them poorly simply because they were also friends with Margot? Weird.

So much of Tania’s behavior made me want to scream, “Please take some accountability!” She needed self-reflection and therapy. Not to blame her “person” for everything that was wrong with her life.

What I wanted from this book was a deeper exploration of what a suffocating friendship actually looks like, especially in adulthood, when relationships evolve and everyone around you seems to be moving forward while you feel completely stagnant. To me, that was the real issue at the heart of Tania’s story. There was so much potential to explore the complicated dynamics of dependency, friendship, adulthood, resentment, and growing apart.

Unfortunately, I never felt like the book fully got there. Instead, I spent most of the time frustrated with Tania and wishing she would take a hard look at her own choices.

[Robyn]

I was excited to read this novel about a lifelong female friendship coming to an end. I was expecting more of a literary fiction feel with more serious exploration of themes of trust, love, race, privilege, etc…

Unfortunately, I found the characters very immature and I had to wade through an abundance of raunchy & vulgar behavior to get to those themes I wanted to read about.

[Ishleen]

Such a fascinating read. It was bittersweet to watch how the characters became less of "their" person to one another and more of "a" person instead. By the end, I was left reflecting a lot on how their relationship progressed and what could've been done to prevent its end...but I guess that's the beauty of it, that it was meant to end from the start, but through its existence did it leave such a lasting impact on the girls.

[Maya Schwartz]

This story was heartbreaking and resonated with me way more than I anticipated it would

[Sabrina]

deeply confused & seen at the same time

[Tracyj]

2.5 Stars (If I’m being generous)

[Jessica P.]

This was painful to get through—like the friend breakup that took 30 years and dragged the reader along for every miserable second. I have never been so annoyed by a character in any of my reading😅

[Karen]

MY PERSON
BY: TEA MUTONJA

4.5 Stars!

This is a debut called, "MY PERSON," is an Literary Fiction, and Women's Fiction novel newly released by what appears to be as the title suggests to be about a friendship that feels like it was written by a very young author who just graduated from earning her MFA from New York University.
There's no denying that this Canadian author is a very talented author who for a debut this was very engrossing that was a interesting novel about relationships having to do with a younger group of characters, but universal on an emotional level. My most Significant advice is going to be that the synopsis doesn't encompass the whole narrative or that it didn't prepare me for what the whole novel covers entirely. While I think that I enjoyed it as an older reader, and this was very well written it's geared towards a younger audience whose demographic is younger Women from their twenties through thirty five years old is my approximate guess who this may be best suited. Although, I wouldn't rule out any reader, but the content isn't what I usually am used to reading since it's characters are a lot younger. The reason it worked so well for me is that I love character driven novels and this is albeit one Main Female Character named Tania is the only narrator and the story unfold entirely through her single point of view. If I am being specific the reason I'm roughly estimating that this feels written for a younger audience because the content covers really one single perspective that although it somehow has a universal feel that is the foundation that the author wrote this for Tania. As everything that happens it is viewed through Tania's lenses which made this a unique novel that except for the dialogue with the characters she interacts with is after I finished it was made clear to me how different this was from traditional novels which made this seem brilliant. The reason I describe it as brilliant is how this author deceptively but very cleverly doesn't make that obvious until I finished it reading it that it is really Tania's story that the author meant it that way for good reason. The main theme of the novel is to understand what it must feel like to be a Black Female living through what seemed like mostly White population of her peers which are all unmarried without any children yet because of their ages still trying to figure out life, and yet this racism is not on the surface, but it is very well understood as on a deeper level. The synopsis didn't totally describe the whole novel only half of it explores Tania, and Margot's rupture as it begins early within the first few pages. Tania is very much at a point in her life after being each other "person," since they were eight years old. They have been best friends and extremely close that you can feel the platonic love for one another that exists. They are roommates living under one of a few homes owned through Margot's parental properties purchased through them. Tania announces that this friendship is no longer working for her. Margot is White but that isn't something that I remember learning about early on. Except for dialogue between Margot and Tania it is the only way that Margot is depicted, and of course through Tania's thoughts and perspective. Margot is blindsided by this announcement from Tania and refers to this as Tania breaking up with her. I don't think the synopsis prepares the reader that although Margot struggles and although only about half the novel focuses on Margot and Tania's interactions which is why I wasn't prepared for the novel to cover Tania's lack of forming anything close to her capacity of forming emotional intimacy with the young men that she has many different physical intimacy only which the second half of the novel focuses on. Except for Eli who is engaged to Sylvie who is in the background. Throughout the entire novel Tania is a writer who has an Editor who Tania has a contract with which she has successfully completed her first novel, which is not devoted to a wider audience. I did feel that Tania being a writer was important, but she is having trouble coming up with her second manuscript that she has already been paid an advance of $25,000 dollars for. She and Margot are still living together, but they are either avoiding one another on purpose and yet considering that they aren't on the same page about wanting to lessen their friendship which they are every once in awhile finding that there is no avoiding since their friendship is strained they are both remarkable civil considering that they are in a sense going through a break up even though it's never been romantic. Still Margot is the one that refers to Tania and voices that many times to Tania that she's the one that broke up with her. Tania is steadfast in her decision and has meant by this author from my conclusion that this is very much Tania's story. Of course when you are the only narrator you come across as the most sympathetic character. Tania's only real other closest friend is Eli who is Margot's cousin but while he's engaged Tania and Him are sleeping together, and Margot is aware of this through tracking Tania's cellphone location that when she sees Tania she makes it clear that she doesn't want it to continue, although it does continue and if any romance that Tania's ever come close to feeling a possibility it is with Eli, who cares for Tania even though he's engaged. This was as I've said not something I was prepared for the side of Tania who has sex with guys she met on the internet, but I couldn't help but like Tania, and never judged her for she possessed a depth to her character that made her seem older and wiser than her age. This author is a Canadian who this is her debut, and it exceeded my expectations in how nothing in the synopsis prepared me for Tania to be the main character because it does state that it's about two best friends it is the first time I've ever encountered a novel about everything that transpires outside of that friendship. Tania cannot seem to get that second manuscript which she is frequently emailed about from her Editor, and the other person representing her. I really wouldn't have read this if I knew that it wouldn't be as described in the synopsis, but I found it increasingly addictive, and I think overall that this was masterfully written by an author who had me totally immersed, and I love it's originality. I loved how out of most debuts they don't usually impress me with how polished this felt, and even though it surprised me with its content exploring many different layers of Tania's personality, her lack of emotional connection with the males that except Eli who I really liked also even though what they were doing might turn off some readers it didn't affect me. "My Person," is an outstanding debut that I wouldn't normally have read if I knew that the age of the characters hadn't been older, that it wasn't a dual narrative of omitting Margot's point of view, but I finished this with so much more of an understanding of what it must feel like to be the only Black female in an all White Community. Which is subtle throughout the novel as it doesn't have Tania feeling sorry for herself. It might point out why Tania had trouble in some major areas like her completing that second manuscript. Having only Eli that she connected to while being intimate with so many other men that she didn't know that she gave her body to but it was purely just sex. She had been receiving emails from her mother who she would digitally respond to but her mother always showed her warmth to Tania. I will be recommending this to everybody. Tania and Margot used to be each other's person, and this was gripping in ways that surprised me, but I'm so grateful to have read it.

Publication Date: August 11, 2026

Thank you to Net Galley, Tea Mutonji, and Putnam/G P Putnam's Sons for generously providing me with my ARC in exchange for a fair and honest review. All opinions are entirely my own, as always.

#MyPerson #TeaMutonji #Putnam #GPPutnamsSons #NetGalley

[Renee]

While reading and trying to absorb this book, I wanted to know what was the message? Was it therapy? Or Tania, an emotional and terrifying woman with no discipline? A sexual mess too! Margot was an overthinking woman who really was Tania’s person. Their friends had all become embroiled in their friendship breakup to the point that it made Rita depressed, Bobbi confused and Eli ; gosh I don’t know.

Race came up an awful lot and to me it had no place in the book. Tania used race theory to question her friends. This was too much for me. Did Meredith ever do that? No questions asked she adopted Zola and so did I.

Tania was a neurotic in need of some ability and more therapy. I hope things get cleaned up in edits

[Jamie]

I received a digital ARC from the publisher, via NetGalley, in exchange for an honest review. All opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.

I appreciated that this story showed the ending of a friendship since childhood. How friendships can become easily taken for granted. I think what this novel depicted even better was how someone can become stuck in that friendship role and not know how to make changes even though they want to.

I found this novel to be more of a stream-of-consciousness format. It did become confusing at times, but that may have been done on purpose to show Tania and Margot's thought processes through this. There are many topics covered in this novel that may make it a difficult read for some. I do look forward to reading more from the author.

[Tina]

I love reading CanLit and I was so excited to read MY PERSON by Téa Mutonji since I loved her first book Shut Up You’re Pretty. I really enjoyed this novel too. I loved the focus on female friendship. It’s about two best friends Tania and Margot and their breakup. There were some really tense moments and it was interesting how their friendship impacted their lives. I loved the Toronto setting and the mention of salsa dancing at the Lula Lounge. I actually visited the Lula Lounge during my last visit to Toronto! And it was refreshing to read about this specific type of relationship.

Thank you to Random House Canada for my gifted uncorrected proof!