“I know what that darkness can feel like.” His voice cracks again. “So if you ever forget how to hold yourself up, I’ll fucking carry you.”
“When I’m with you, it’s like I can finally breathe. Like maybe I’m not broken beyond repair. Maybe there’s still something left in me worth saving.”
I have been wanting to read this series for so long but was trying to hold off until closer to the release of book three... well now felt like the right time and man was it an emotional journey thus far.
First of all, I want to say thank you to Nikki for writing about topics that are not easy to navigate and doing it in a way that felt so raw and honest. The writing was easy to follow and very compelling. I was able to see it all happening in my head vividly. I am very impressed especially considering this is Nikki's debut novel.
Rainfall is centered around Savannah, the FMC, who has unfortunately lost a parent. She is in the throes of grief from the very start of this book, and it has heavily impacted her mental health. She is struggling to get through each day and has turned to substances to numb her mind. This leads her down a very dark and dangerous journey where these substances that once felt like were saving her are now trying to kill her.
A lot of this story in my opinion is character driven. Yes, things happen in the story but most of it is centered on Savannah and her struggling with her grief and how to navigate who she is now without her parent. Personally, I love character driven stories, but I felt like that was worth mentioning. I think Nikki does a fantastic job at letting the reader into Savannah’s head and truly feeling what it is like to go through grief, addiction, and mental health struggles. At times I found myself wanting to message my own parent and just tell them how much I loved them and imagining what losing them would feel like to me. It might sound silly, but I am 100% serious. That is how real it felt to me and how much I was able to connect with Savannah . I saw a lot of myself in her. Her mental health struggles and the need to use substances to cope is something I lived myself for so long. It was so tough being a bystander and not being able to jump into the book and help her myself.
Of course I can't not mention Cole, the MMC. Savannah has a boyfriend at the start of this book that is not Cole, but by chance Cole and Savannah meet shortly into this book and their chemistry was undeniable. Cole sees her in a way that her boyfriend does not and notices everything about her, most importantly her struggles and the pain she carries. He wants to help her, not fix or change her, but be there for her and see her be happy. He truly has the best intentions for her. He has his own struggles and has experienced some very difficult things, and I am glad we got a bit of that, and I really hope we get more in the next book. Cole is the perfect mix of everything. He's sweet, sexy, confident and so dang thoughtful. The way he loves Savannah and always shows up for her melts my heart.
With that being said, this story is messy and complicated. But most of all, it is real. I loved every moment of it. These characters are young adults and going through a lot of heavy stuff, especially Savannah, so you really have to have grace. I could never judge her for her choices, and I am rooting so hard for her.
Rainfall is single POV told by Savannah, but I am pretty sure book two, Where I Land, is dual POV, so we will get Cole's insight into everything which I am so ready for.
It was so hard watching Savannah spiral, and I was just waiting for something terrible to happen, but it was so necessary. Like they say, sometimes you have to reach rock bottom to finally work your way up. I am hopeful that Savannah will figure this out and I have faith that Cole will stick by her no matter how difficult it may be for them individually and their relationship. He is her person. Simple as that. It does break my heart thinking about how he must have felt watching Savannah go through all of this, especially with his past. I have a feeling his POV might wreck me even more so. But I also need it.
I will be immediately diving into Where I Land.
Also, I have to mention how much I have loved getting to meet all of the side characters. I cannot wait for Nate, Lily, Ty, Ryan and Jade's stories. I love this found family that Nikki has already built so far. While a lot of this is heavy, there are some fun and lighthearted moments interwoven throughout and I really enjoyed the bond this group has and hope we can get more of that and their individual stories.