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The Relationship Handbook: A Simple Guide to Satisfying Relationships
A simple guide to satisfying relationships.
192 pages, Paperback
First published August 1, 1991
269 people are currently reading
932 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 47 reviews
June 4, 2018
A re-imagining of the American obsession and addiction to positive thinking - suppress, suppress and suppress negativity again for good measure and just think positively - the author is a gifted writer and communicator but it is missing a trick or two pertaining to truth and fact. Just smile and be happy is the basic message. You can tell its effectiveness by how many advise that you read several other books after read this one - one would not need to read those books if this was as groundbreaking as the hype and price tag suggests. An interesting read but it is not going to profoundly change your life despite its supporters - just another book to add to your collection of false hopes that this could be the one that saves you.
August 23, 2020
What an impactful, eye-opening, life-changing book!
I am already a 3 Principles enthusiast, but you will love the concepts expressed in this book, even you don't know anything about the 3 Principles.
If you are locked in dissatisfaction and judgement of your partner, this book will show you how simple it is to fall back into love with them. The chapter about commitment and how it is a stance of life was particularly powerful for me.
Priceless teachings :)
I am already a 3 Principles enthusiast, but you will love the concepts expressed in this book, even you don't know anything about the 3 Principles.
If you are locked in dissatisfaction and judgement of your partner, this book will show you how simple it is to fall back into love with them. The chapter about commitment and how it is a stance of life was particularly powerful for me.
Priceless teachings :)
January 19, 2024
I think the cover is actually perfect for this one. This book covers an essential piece of relationships. However, I believe that it is not the only piece. Nor was I pleased when he promised studies regarding its success and did not produce one. Individual case studies that are not returned to and followed up on do not count.
February 24, 2017
Change of heart about love
A really simple idea that will change your life. This book is brilliant and easy to put into practice. Deceptive!y straightforward advice about the complex world of human relationships - I am going to read this again until I have really absorbed its wisdom. Read it.
A really simple idea that will change your life. This book is brilliant and easy to put into practice. Deceptive!y straightforward advice about the complex world of human relationships - I am going to read this again until I have really absorbed its wisdom. Read it.
November 25, 2022
An essential read for anyone in a relationship. In fact, I’d say this is something everyone should read, regardless of their relationship status. The ideas covered in this book are so simple and easy to implement, and they have a profound effect on all relationships in your life, as long as you’re willing to make a change.
The core argument of the book is that you have a choice about whether you want to feed positive or negative energy into a relationship. If you choose to see the good in your partner, if you choose compassion, if you are kind, if you listen closely and are willing to look past their flaws, they will respond in turn and a positive cycle will occur. If you do the opposite, that’s when problems arise. The biggest takeaway I had is that you shouldn’t try to fix the other person’s behavior. And you shouldn’t have a “big talk” whenever you feel upset - that’s only going to make things worse. Instead, if you focus on what you love in the other person and invest in positive thoughts and actions, this creates a positive cycle that will get better and better. It seems so simple, and yet it’s an incredibly powerful approach.
As for the book itself, it doesn’t get much better than this. Easy to read, straightforward, entertaining, all in just 240 pages, and the information within had a profound effect on my life. I don’t say this often, but this book is a true 10/10.
The core argument of the book is that you have a choice about whether you want to feed positive or negative energy into a relationship. If you choose to see the good in your partner, if you choose compassion, if you are kind, if you listen closely and are willing to look past their flaws, they will respond in turn and a positive cycle will occur. If you do the opposite, that’s when problems arise. The biggest takeaway I had is that you shouldn’t try to fix the other person’s behavior. And you shouldn’t have a “big talk” whenever you feel upset - that’s only going to make things worse. Instead, if you focus on what you love in the other person and invest in positive thoughts and actions, this creates a positive cycle that will get better and better. It seems so simple, and yet it’s an incredibly powerful approach.
As for the book itself, it doesn’t get much better than this. Easy to read, straightforward, entertaining, all in just 240 pages, and the information within had a profound effect on my life. I don’t say this often, but this book is a true 10/10.
August 28, 2021
If you are already in a healthy, communicative, committed relationship, there are probably a few nuggets you can pull from this book. Moods play a big role in how you show up, and it’s important to understand the mood your partner is in so you can better respond to whatever curveballs they may be throwing at you.
If you are struggling or depressed or have suffered abuse or have mental health issues or would like to ever enforce a boundary in your life, this book will be at best unhelpful, and at worst dangerous and irresponsible.
The author actually says feelings like sadness and anger are negative emotions and that when these negative emotions show up in your life, it’s an indication that your mental health is suffering. Also: “Thoughts of anger lead to angry feelings and then to acting out anger.” This feels akin to playing violent video games leads to seeds of violence being implanted in your brain which leads to murdering people in real life.
Everything is oversimplified and reeks of naive “thanks I’m cured” advice you’d find in bad motivational memes. Oh, the key to a happy marriage is to just…be happy? Thanks, doc! No more divorce for us!
Also, the faked therapy transcripts are corny and bad.
If you are struggling or depressed or have suffered abuse or have mental health issues or would like to ever enforce a boundary in your life, this book will be at best unhelpful, and at worst dangerous and irresponsible.
The author actually says feelings like sadness and anger are negative emotions and that when these negative emotions show up in your life, it’s an indication that your mental health is suffering. Also: “Thoughts of anger lead to angry feelings and then to acting out anger.” This feels akin to playing violent video games leads to seeds of violence being implanted in your brain which leads to murdering people in real life.
Everything is oversimplified and reeks of naive “thanks I’m cured” advice you’d find in bad motivational memes. Oh, the key to a happy marriage is to just…be happy? Thanks, doc! No more divorce for us!
Also, the faked therapy transcripts are corny and bad.
December 8, 2014
Great book to understand relationships and what it means to be committed. Must read!
June 1, 2025
I really liked this book. It doesn’t give you tips or tools or anything like that. It just shifts how you see things. The main idea is that most of the tension we feel in relationships comes from our own thinking in the moment, not from the other person.
It’s different from what I’ve read before. Like, don’t talk through every issue? Don’t go to couples counseling? Don’t rehash the past? At first that sounded off, but the more I sat with it, the more it made sense. It’s not saying to ignore problems. It’s saying that most “problems” feel a lot smaller once your head is clear. And when you’re in a better state of mind, you usually know what to do. Things get easier.
I used to always push for talking things out right away. But honestly, that often made things worse. The more I focused on the problem, the bigger it felt. Now I can see that timing matters.
I liked how the book talked about emotions as signals, not facts. Just because I’m upset doesn’t mean there’s an actual crisis. That shift helped me stop blaming my partner for every little reaction I had. It also made me less defensive about his.
This book probably isn’t the right fit if your relationship has serious issues like abuse or untreated mental illness. But if you’re in a generally healthy relationship and just feel stuck or disconnected sometimes, it’s really helpful.
Less blame, more ease. I keep coming back to it, and I’ve recommended it to a few friends. It’s short, simple, and it actually makes sense.
It’s different from what I’ve read before. Like, don’t talk through every issue? Don’t go to couples counseling? Don’t rehash the past? At first that sounded off, but the more I sat with it, the more it made sense. It’s not saying to ignore problems. It’s saying that most “problems” feel a lot smaller once your head is clear. And when you’re in a better state of mind, you usually know what to do. Things get easier.
I used to always push for talking things out right away. But honestly, that often made things worse. The more I focused on the problem, the bigger it felt. Now I can see that timing matters.
I liked how the book talked about emotions as signals, not facts. Just because I’m upset doesn’t mean there’s an actual crisis. That shift helped me stop blaming my partner for every little reaction I had. It also made me less defensive about his.
This book probably isn’t the right fit if your relationship has serious issues like abuse or untreated mental illness. But if you’re in a generally healthy relationship and just feel stuck or disconnected sometimes, it’s really helpful.
Less blame, more ease. I keep coming back to it, and I’ve recommended it to a few friends. It’s short, simple, and it actually makes sense.
November 27, 2021
Simple and short, the emphasis of the book is that we live and experience our thoughts. Fights and dissatisfaction stems from thinking and focusing too much on the negative .
What was really helpful was the reminder to look beyond the behavior and look at the emotions and thoughts that is troubling someone. When a person is insecure , feeling negative they will act it out and if we react to them negatively then the situation escalates. But to remember to look at what might cause the person to feel and think that way and to be compassionate to them , we will feel less threaten our egos are checked out .
Our emotions are just the barometer to check in to the quality of thoughts . There is nothing to do to change thoughts as they just come and go if we let it . Emotions are not showing the state of the world but the state of our minds
What I found helpful is how intimacy is created by being present to the person and not distracted. It help me realize why I enjoy walks , car drives with my partner as he is less distracted then.
It is also interesting to see the different levels a relationship can further develop and makes me excited to be on the journey to see what is possible
What was really helpful was the reminder to look beyond the behavior and look at the emotions and thoughts that is troubling someone. When a person is insecure , feeling negative they will act it out and if we react to them negatively then the situation escalates. But to remember to look at what might cause the person to feel and think that way and to be compassionate to them , we will feel less threaten our egos are checked out .
Our emotions are just the barometer to check in to the quality of thoughts . There is nothing to do to change thoughts as they just come and go if we let it . Emotions are not showing the state of the world but the state of our minds
What I found helpful is how intimacy is created by being present to the person and not distracted. It help me realize why I enjoy walks , car drives with my partner as he is less distracted then.
It is also interesting to see the different levels a relationship can further develop and makes me excited to be on the journey to see what is possible
January 10, 2022
Great book for couples to read together
This book talks about how to improve a relationship by looking past insecurities and judgment and communicate more effectively. Couples can read this book and strengthen their relationship. Other people can read it to start a relationship on the right track. A lot of principles also apply more than relationship contexts, but any interpersonal interactions.
My only complaint with the book is it does not talk about break ups at all. I understand it is meant for people that want to stay together with their partner, but anyone who has been through breakups know that some relationships don't work out. Maybe break ups are as simple as not wanting to be with the other person, but I wish the book talked about it.
This book talks about how to improve a relationship by looking past insecurities and judgment and communicate more effectively. Couples can read this book and strengthen their relationship. Other people can read it to start a relationship on the right track. A lot of principles also apply more than relationship contexts, but any interpersonal interactions.
My only complaint with the book is it does not talk about break ups at all. I understand it is meant for people that want to stay together with their partner, but anyone who has been through breakups know that some relationships don't work out. Maybe break ups are as simple as not wanting to be with the other person, but I wish the book talked about it.
May 23, 2018
I first heard about the book in another brilliant book by Michael Neil called Inside-Out. He mentioned that after reading it his conflicts with his wife stopped or rather stopped being a problem anymore. He had a change of heart or a paradigm shift and started looking at things differently.
I borrowed this book from an online library because there is no e-version and after reading it I also felt that my reaction to my partner changed. We would still argue but in the middle of it I would sometimes remember that it is HER reality and her reaction stems from her vision of the reality. That humbled me and made our arguments smoother.
I would recommend this book to any couple.
I borrowed this book from an online library because there is no e-version and after reading it I also felt that my reaction to my partner changed. We would still argue but in the middle of it I would sometimes remember that it is HER reality and her reaction stems from her vision of the reality. That humbled me and made our arguments smoother.
I would recommend this book to any couple.
June 3, 2024
This is by far the most interesting book I've read about relationships. It turns everything around logically and intuitively. Most of what I've learned before about relationships and how to optimize those has been wrong. Or at least that is what I've experienced. Most books and advice are on communicating about the issues at hand. The best advice in this book is 'not' to communicate but to wait until one's personal feelings have gotten to a better place (and the others).
I will take all the advice from this book and apply it to my relationships. I can already see a big positive change.
I will highly recommend this book to everyone.
I will take all the advice from this book and apply it to my relationships. I can already see a big positive change.
I will highly recommend this book to everyone.
January 20, 2024
4 stars: very enlightening
I learned how I could be a better husband by reading this book.
It is one of the best self help books I have read. It's applicable to all marriages and I related a lot with many of the examples he given.
I wish that the author would have included what has happened to the patients afterwards. I feel like some of the stories he gave aren't complete.
One of themes of this book is to let it go. Don't resolve an argument, the person that is hurt isn't always hurt and we should forgive them when they are at their low.
Definitely a book I will reread.
I learned how I could be a better husband by reading this book.
It is one of the best self help books I have read. It's applicable to all marriages and I related a lot with many of the examples he given.
I wish that the author would have included what has happened to the patients afterwards. I feel like some of the stories he gave aren't complete.
One of themes of this book is to let it go. Don't resolve an argument, the person that is hurt isn't always hurt and we should forgive them when they are at their low.
Definitely a book I will reread.
May 2, 2019
Focus on the positive
The core concept of focusing on enjoying our partner (rather than dissecting their intentions/actions) seems too simple—but is life-changing. Focus on what we can control (our own thoughts and feelings) rather than attempting to change our partner’s words and actions. A much more enjoyable and effective way to repair failing relationships than rehashing old baggage. Thank you!
The core concept of focusing on enjoying our partner (rather than dissecting their intentions/actions) seems too simple—but is life-changing. Focus on what we can control (our own thoughts and feelings) rather than attempting to change our partner’s words and actions. A much more enjoyable and effective way to repair failing relationships than rehashing old baggage. Thank you!
May 18, 2020
This is a book about relationships but isn't just restricted to couples. It could easily apply to friendships and also the relationship with yourself. The advice in this book is based on the 3 Principles and is one of the best explanations of how to use the 3 Principles that I have come across. I will definitely be returning to this book again and again as there is so wisdom contained in their examples and it is so simple to understand.
September 27, 2020
While this book isn't very well written and will seem fluffy to any reader, there is wisdom here if you show up to read it with an open mind and heart. It is TRUE that when a couple puts the emphasis on their differences that it will divide them. But when you make an effort to reconnect to the closeness, what brought you together in the first place, it really does bring you closer.
July 4, 2021
Very insightful ...
I found this book very insightful. Jam packed with examples of sessions, I think every coach working with relationship issues will find it useful above that everyone in a relationship will find it eye opening at many levels.
I found this book very insightful. Jam packed with examples of sessions, I think every coach working with relationship issues will find it useful above that everyone in a relationship will find it eye opening at many levels.
October 27, 2022
Good read. George Pransky knows what he's talking about. I don't think this would be appropriate for people with chemical imbalances or more serious forms of mental health but for the everyday person trying to get a different perspective on life and become happier, this is the secret sauce.
January 10, 2023
This book made me question almost everything I thought was true about love relationships. I realized with great surprise that the approach I have worked on (communicating all the time), can actually be limiting!!!
Brilliant!
Brilliant!
May 11, 2017
15 mituri despre relatii demontate. Cea mai buna expunere a notiunii de commitment pe care am gasit-o pana acum. Utila in constientizarea unor atitudini de care de obicei il acuzam pe celalalt.
January 16, 2019
Excellent
Excellent! Game changer! Loved it! Best read! Very positive! Insights all around! Will re-read again and again and again x
Excellent! Game changer! Loved it! Best read! Very positive! Insights all around! Will re-read again and again and again x
January 6, 2019
This book is everything! Read it! It will change your life.
Get the latest edition with the appendices. The information the authors add later is a huge bonus.
Get the latest edition with the appendices. The information the authors add later is a huge bonus.
March 17, 2019
Excellent
Mind opening book on relationships whatever the relationship is. Mainly focus on couples but can be applied in any. A must read.
Mind opening book on relationships whatever the relationship is. Mainly focus on couples but can be applied in any. A must read.
June 23, 2019
An absolute must-read for all, the sooner the better! Do it now!
October 13, 2019
The relationship handbook.. this was refreshingly eye opening and scarily so relatable to everyday life! Key note: always try to be understanding 🙌
January 30, 2020
Very helpful read
June 3, 2020
Teaches empathy for your partner using the Three Principles Paradigm
September 19, 2022
This is a great book
This is s great book that points to the importance of love as the major force of the relations. Enjoy!
This is s great book that points to the importance of love as the major force of the relations. Enjoy!
February 7, 2023
Full of interesting info on how to better navigate life as well as relationships. Two thumbs up.
March 15, 2023
Probably the best book on relationships. Would recommend to any couple who think they need to "work" on their relationship. Spoiler alert - you don't!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 47 reviews