On Friendship

by Andrew O'Hagan

** AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER NOW **


From the bestselling author of Mayflies and Caledonian Road, a heart-enriching celebration of what makes us our friends.


If we are lucky in our lives, our friendships will be rich and varied. They will be shared with those with two legs, with four legs, with whiskers or clean faces; they will come dressed in the simplicity of childhood or the professional attire of adult life; some will span decades, and some will be only fleeting. But the thing they will all have in common is that life is not only unimaginable - but unimagined - without them.


In these gorgeous personal reflections, Andrew O'Hagan explores friendship through music and poetry, memory and history, illuminating the many ways and reasons that people come together, and how our lives are all the better because we do.


Andrew O'Hagan's novel Caledonian Road was a Sunday Times bestseller w/c 31/03/2024

Genres: Nonfiction, Essays

152 pages, Hardcover

Expected publication May 12, 2026

About the author

Andrew O'Hagan, FRSL (born 1968) is a Scottish novelist and non-fiction author.

He is the author of the novels Our Fathers, Personality, and Be Near Me, longlisted for the Man Booker Prize. His work has appeared in the London Review of Books, the New York Review of Books, The New Yorker, and The Guardian (UK). In 2003, O’Hagan was named one of Granta’s Best Young British Novelists. He lives in London, England.

Reviews

[Noura · Rating 4 out of 5]

A quietly powerful essay that speaks to the complicated, beautiful, and sometimes bruising nature of long term friendship. What stood out most to me was how O’Hagan writes with tenderness and intellectual sharpness, reflecting on decades of shared experiences.

The writing is elegant without being showy, and the emotional core sneaks up on you. It's not a sentimental piece, but it's deeply felt, especially when he touches on how friendships evolve over time how they stretch, fade, endure, and surprise us. He captures something rare: the dignity of friendship, even when it's strained.

Why 4 stars? For me, some parts meandered a bit, and if you're not already familiar with the literary circles he moves in, a few references can feel distant. But overall, it’s a rewarding, heartfelt read that lingers afterward.
A beautiful reminder that friendship, like literature, is built on time, trust, and the willingness to keep turning up.

[ariana · Rating 4 out of 5]

such carefully crafted prose as per usual! some heartwarming insights - wish he delved a little deeper at times, and wish the essays were ordered more fluidly. still such a delight to hear from him!

[Chloe Winter · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 - Really enjoyed some of the earlier essays. Some beautiful sentiments, particularly about how our friendships shape us and our outlook, but also the retrospective value of those memories and relationships.
The essay lamenting about the horrors since the dawn of the internet and AI was a slog (tell us something we don’t know), but acknowledge I’m not the target generation for that one.

[Harry Joseph · Rating 4 out of 5]

Just a very nice book - nice one Andrew mate

[Anne Deane · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book, though I was set up for it by a growing reflection on the nature of friendship over the last 2 years.

My curiosity led me (mostly joyfully, occasionally sadly) through the many strands of this work: early life ideas of friendship, friendship that existed (or didn’t) between our parents, childhood friendships (and playful adventures), youth groups, making friends in a pub, collegiate friendships, animal friends, imaginary friends…

I enjoyed what I experience as O’Hagan’s playfulness, curiosity, sense of humour, generosity of spirit, to say nothing of the writing which was right “up there”.

I’ve underlined much that I will go back to. The book will be a gift on repeat to friends and siblings… and I will continue to reflect exploring writings about female friendships. 9/10

[Marnie S · Rating 4 out of 5]

Deja vu of Maggie’s I am I am I am last crimbo limbo. Another reflective book to end the year.

[Niamh · Rating 5 out of 5]

really just quite lovely (even if i could have done without the chapter on the internet)

[jq · Rating 4 out of 5]

Last book of 2025. It feels like the right book to end the year off with.

[Jamie Federbush]

Thanks @Emmy for this book 😄🫶

[Philip · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a short compendium of chapters on various aspects of friendship. Boys United looks at first friendships during childhood. Common Ground covers aspects of friendship and loyalties. Losing Friends covers the endings of friendships in various ways and covers the inspiration behind the characters in his popular novel, Mayflies. Edna is a description of his 15 year friendship with Edna O'Brien, the Irish novelist during her 80's. Friending looks a modern equivalents of friendship arising from digital platforms. Work Mates looks at friendships and bonding at workplaces. Animal Magic covers relationships with our pets. The book ends on Imaginary Friends about the benefits of being able to commune with friends who only exist in one's mind's eye.

The structure of the book is a little disorganised. There is no real flow between the chapters although there is an attempt at dovetailing some of the elements in the final pages. The content can be both illuminating and frustratingly unfocussed. Others may enjoy the chapter on Edna, and this chapter seems to have been centrepiece within the book for the author. But, I found its place here jarring. Surprisingly, as well, given the evident tenderness he held for her, the author's description of what she says and does did not exactly make me warm to her. The chapter seems like an indulgence which does not really add anything to the book that he is writing. I think that the author is aware that his anecdotes about O'Brien and other writers is a bit of an affectation when he says at one point when he accepts that he has included a "good deal about writers" and "We writers imagine that our personal interests are universal truths in disguise. Please forgive."

What I took from this book is that friendship is a very personal thing dependent upon your own personality. This is more a book of personal anecdotes around a theme. When a book is heavily populated by someone else's friends with whom who you do not share knowledge or affinity, it does not have the level of involvement that much of its more beautiful passages and thoughts should inspire.

[Phillip · Rating 4 out of 5]

A loving and reassuring tribute to friendship.

‘On Friendship’ is profound in a way that I perhaps I wasn’t prepared for. Life is quite a tragic journey, really. But this is a joyous reminder of the fun to be had along the way. It’s a wonderful book to dip into and become utterly absorbed by. The writing is exceptional, meticulous in its diction, allowing Andrew’s recollections and anecdotes to unfurl with excellently entertaining, and occasionally emotional, results. After all, you can’t choose your family, but the friends we make can define us. This is one of the rarest books: one to which we can all relate.

[David Cutler · Rating 3 out of 5]

Really just a Christmas stocking filler, presumably using up a few LRB pieces. Not a patch on sme of his work such as Missing or Mayflies that partly mine the same ground. Friends from school, work and modern practices of friending and doesn't even mention Montaigne. Only the Edna O'Brien peice really good and that part memoir.

[Mai · Rating 4 out of 5]

A powerful essay about friendship. Bringing you back to the core foundation of friendship and companionship. It made me think about how friendship used to be when I was young and how it is becoming now.

[T P Kennedy · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very nice extended essay. It's a deft and surprisingly tender exploration of the topic. The anecdoetes and personal reminiscences lift the slender volume. There's a nice Irish tinge with much of the writing devoted to Seamus Heaney and Edna O'Brien.

[Chris Waterford · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book on friendship, mainly based on the author's own life. It gave me a lot to think about---the friends in my life(and the lack of them.) It made me grateful for the friends I have.
8/10

[Tom · Rating 5 out of 5]

The first book I've read this year that I've finished and then immediately started again. A sort of meditation on the ideas of friendship raised in Mayflies. Brilliant.

[Tiffany]

Recommended by Meech.

[Christopher Walthorne · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful gem.

[Ariela · Rating 4 out of 5]

Minus one star for lots of name dropping that made me feel dumb, but delightful and smart. I love Andrew O’Hagan.

[Joan Cameron-Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Delightful way to bring in the new year. Can’t recommend enough

[Peter Wells · Rating 4 out of 5]

Essays on Friendship

[Lisa · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars. Really liked the first chapter about childhood friends and the last chapter but didn't really enjoy the in-between.

[Gillian Fox · Rating 4 out of 5]

A beautiful essay on the joy, frustrations, efforts and impacts of friendship. Lovely writing and an engaging view of what friends mean to the author. 8/10

[Ross · Rating 3 out of 5]

a cute meditation on friendship and the different ways it appears/importance of it. it didn’t change my life but it did have a chapter dedicated to edna o’brien which i loved so much.

[Annie Gilholm rowland · Rating 4 out of 5]

A beautiful book about friendships in all their shapes and forms, invites and reminds one to be grateful if they’re lucky enough to experience one and can truly and authentically hold a connection.