Practicing Dying

by Charlotte Northall

Practicing Dying is a literary anti-memoir documenting life in a Zen Buddhist monastery in rural France where the protagonist, a woman in her late twenties, attempts to overcome chronic drug addiction and mental illness.

Broken and severely unwell, our protagonist arrives at the monastery from London: starving, drug-addicted and disillusioned, having exhausted every conventional treatment route available to her. The book examines how, habituated to a life of benefits assessments, petty-crime and sex work, she struggles to adjust to the rules, discipline and religious life of the monastery—at times to devastating and comedic effect.

As the story unfolds, she reflects on her addictions and past experiences, raising critical questions about what it means to be “an addict” and why there may be vested corporate and societal interests in maintaining a narrow, individualistic understanding of addiction.

Anarchic and provocative, tender and self-deprecating, Practicing Dying differs from other contemporary memoirs in the genre of addiction-recovery by simultaneously challenging the dominant narratives surrounding mental health while proposing an alternative approach to treating the “sickness of self” from which we all increasingly suffer.

Genres: Buddhism

360 pages, Paperback

Published January 1, 2024

Reviews

[Mereida]

quite astounding.

even without personal experience of the practice and the monastery, this is a powerful read, at times devastating and disturbing (some scenes are very hard to read) but also clear-sighted, hopeful and funny.

while very personal, also looks profoundly at the broader picture of addiction and the role of society, poverty and displacement. the harsh, careless approach of the uk health and social services, compartmentalising and profit driven, is contrasted with the boundless compassion of the monastery and the practice, which teaches selflessness and looking beyond yourself to those around you. a beautiful account of the growth from a learned to an embodied practice

[Charley]

DNF, jumped ship when the author compared zen Buddhist retreat to the Holocaust x

[Niamh]

Unbelievable yet believable, raw and earned

But… the editor on my edition let this book down, numerous typos, repeats and punctuation errors. Not the author’s fault

[Paul]

When I saw its blurb describe it as “anti-memoir” I wondered if it was going to be some kind of low-budget Eat Pray Love, Elizabeth Gilbert’s bestselling memoir which I must confess to not having read, only sat through the film. Even if that were so it does not do justice to Charlotte Northall’s book which might well be more enlightening and deserving of a wider audience AND a film.
The enlightenment does not confine itself to the not entirely unrelated worlds of Buddhism and addiction. Though these areas are thoroughly explored there is so much more that is woven into the narrative as the reader is taken on a journey that is often uncomfortable but always rewarding. For example, I now understand how eating disorders can arise as well as gaining an appreciation of the history of Buddhism and some lesser known extraordinary thinkers.
This book is so incredibly well-written. I could say much more but I wouldn’t want to spoil this treasure which I would wholeheartedly recommend to anyone as long as they don’t have too weak a stomach and even then perhaps it’s a medicine that simply needs to be administered. There is unflinching honesty here that deserves to be read if only for the pains that have brought about its existence.

[Hannah]

I first discovered this book at an event where Charlotte did a reading of it. It was so engaging that I added it to my must read list immediately.

I appreciated that it wasn’t a straight up to fix your issues you must find spirituality book. Instead pointing out how mindfulness and being in the present is (unsurprisingly) healthy.

I found the book very relatable in many ways. Being trapped in a cycle of wants and desires. Sometimes feeling as though you are just a victim to your habits. When really we have more control over our choices than we care to admit. Highlighting the importance of community.

After reading it I have no urge to go through the process Charlotte did to seek peace. However, I will be more aware of my choices and trying to practice more mindfulness. Trying to quit habits of over consumption for quick dopamine hits and spend more time giving back to others and my community.

Will be recommending this book to friends.

[Jack Booth]

It had a good ending that one should take responsibility, accept and forgive, which after reading about her life seems like both a good conclusion to her experiences and one that was hard won.

Overall I found the book long and poorly copy edited. There were a lot explanations elaborating the thought of post-modern and existential thinkers which seemed more for the writers own benefit than the reader. Kristeva said this, in the Myth of Sisyphus this happened and this relates to something that happened to me. These parts were boring as were a lot of the parts about her time in the monastery. It could have been made sharper if condensed.

[Iris k]

every one can relate to the process of addiction - even if the addiction is not a substance. this book begs you to understand your own processes and thoughts over all material things, as well as consider why anything matters, and why everything matters. The writing around zen i thoroughly enjoyed. though i did not always agree with the author or i disliked how she used words described certain experiences, i did not dislike her. i am so glad i had the pleasure of reading this

[Roddy C.]

Riveting and lush, dark and insightful, smartly written and left me rooting, rooting, rooting for what I wasn’t sure of. The disrespect and the naughtiness of the protagonist I applaud. Gorgeous transformative journey. Yes yes and yes.

[Fern]

deleting my original review bc i think a lot of it was Wrong View + Wrong Speech, in sticking w the Buddhist theme.

i will just say that there are some parts of this that i take issue with, and i have mixed feelings about the book overall, but it is extremely well-written. i learned a ton about how addiction operates, and i also learned a ton about what monastic life can be like -- i've never read a memoir, or any genre of book, that captures what monastic life entails.

it's definitely a heavy, demanding read, and promises an uncertain reward.

but it definitely took guts and bravery to write . . . and guts and bravery to Survive.

[Grace]

Stunning. Brilliantly written, brutally honest — an entirely human account of navigating some of the hardest things life can throw at someone. Northall is an exceptional writer.

[Chloe]

Was able to ready this quite quickly, some parts were interesting but overall I did not like the writing style & it wasn’t very captivating.

[Alex Besen]

Not as good as I had hoped for but I’m proud I finished it, even if my eyes grazed some pages.

[Isabel Hinds]

3.8 stars⭐️

Incredibly raw with some scenes quite difficult to read at times

[Pat]

Not for the faint of heart.