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To Have and to Hold
Bestselling author Fern Michaels has won the hearts of readers worldwide with her sweeping novels of women coping with the challenges of love. In To Have and to Hold, she tells the compelling story of a woman who harnesses tragedy and grows courageously—strong, independent, and free to love.
TO HAVE AND TO HOLD
It is 1970 and Kate Starr is the perfect wife and the perfect mother. But soon after her husband leaves for Vietnam, he is listed as MIA. Suddenly Kate must raise their two daughters by herself and struggle with the U.S. government to get news of her husband. Her fight to be heard is the beginning of a new Kate Starr. Twenty years later, she has educated herself, started a successful business, and finally found love again—in this incredibly moving novel that traces the awakening of a remarkable woman who learns that sometimes in order to keep love in our hearts, we have to let it go.
TO HAVE AND TO HOLD
It is 1970 and Kate Starr is the perfect wife and the perfect mother. But soon after her husband leaves for Vietnam, he is listed as MIA. Suddenly Kate must raise their two daughters by herself and struggle with the U.S. government to get news of her husband. Her fight to be heard is the beginning of a new Kate Starr. Twenty years later, she has educated herself, started a successful business, and finally found love again—in this incredibly moving novel that traces the awakening of a remarkable woman who learns that sometimes in order to keep love in our hearts, we have to let it go.
354 pages, Kindle Edition
First published June 26, 1994
479 people are currently reading
622 people want to read
About the author
Fern Michaels
424 books6,505 followersFern Michaels isn’t a person. I’m not sure she’s an entity either since an entity is something with separate existence. Fern Michaels® is what I DO. Me, Mary Ruth Kuczkir. Growing up in Hastings, Pennsylvania, I was called Ruth. I became Mary when I entered the business world where first names were the order of the day. To this day, family and friends call me Dink, a name my father gave me when I was born because according to him I was ‘a dinky little thing’ weighing in at four and a half pounds. However, I answer to Fern since people are more comfortable with a name they can pronounce.
As they say, the past is prologue. I grew up, got a job, got married, had five kids. When my youngest went off to Kindergarten, my husband told me to get off my ass and get a job. Those were his exact words. I didn’t know how to do anything except be a wife and mother. I was also a voracious reader having cut my teeth on The Bobbsey Twins, Nancy Drew, The Hardy Boys, Cherry Ames and the like. The library was a magical place for me. It still is to this day. Rather than face the outside world with no skills, I decided to write a book. For some reason that didn’t intimidate me. As my husband said at the time, stupid is as stupid does. Guess what, I don’t have that husband any more. Guess what else! I wrote 99 books, most of them New York Times Best Sellers.
Moving right along here . . . Several years ago I left Ballantine Books, parted company with my agent, sold my house in New Jersey that I had lived in all my married life and in 1993 moved to South Carolina. I figured if I was going to go through trauma let it be all at one time. It was a breeze. The kids were all on their own at that point. The dump was a 300 year old plantation house that is listed in the National Registry that I remodeled. Today it is beyond belief as are the gardens and the equally old Angel Oaks that drip Spanish moss. Unfortunately, I could not get my ghost to relocate. This ghost has been documented by previous owners. Mary Margaret as we call her, is “a friendly”. She is also mischievous. It took me two weeks to figure out that she didn’t like my coffee cups. They would slide off the table or counter or else they’d break in the dishwasher. I bought red checkered ones. All are intact as of this writing. She moves pillows from one room to the other and she stops all the clocks in the house at 9:10 in the a.m. at least once a week. When the Azaleas are in bloom, and only then, I find blooms on my night stand. I have this glorious front porch and during the warm months I see my swing moving early in the morning when the air is still and again late in the day. She doesn’t spook the dogs. I always know when she’s around because the five of them line up and look like they’re at a tennis match. As of this writing we’re co-habiting nicely.
Most writers love what they do and I’m no exception. I love it when I get a germ of an idea and get it down on paper. I love breathing life into my characters. I love writing about women who persevere and prevail because that’s what I had to do to get to this point in time. It’s another way of saying it doesn’t matter where you’ve been, what matters is where you’re going and how you get there. The day I finally prevailed was the day I was inducted into the New Jersey Literary Hall of Fame. For me it was an awesome day and there are no words to describe it.
I’ve been telling stories and scribbling for 37 years. I hope I can continue for another 37 years. It wasn’t easy during some of those years. As I said, I had to persevere. My old Polish grandmother said something to me when I was little that I never forgot. She said when God is good to you, you have to give back. For a while I didn’t know how to do that. When I finally figured it out I set up The Fern Michaels® Foundation.
READ FERN MICHAELS' FULL BIOGRAPHY HERE: http://www.fernmichaels.com/biography/
As they say, the past is prologue. I grew up, got a job, got married, had five kids. When my youngest went off to Kindergarten, my husband told me to get off my ass and get a job. Those were his exact words. I didn’t know how to do anything except be a wife and mother. I was also a voracious reader having cut my teeth on The Bobbsey Twins, Nancy Drew, The Hardy Boys, Cherry Ames and the like. The library was a magical place for me. It still is to this day. Rather than face the outside world with no skills, I decided to write a book. For some reason that didn’t intimidate me. As my husband said at the time, stupid is as stupid does. Guess what, I don’t have that husband any more. Guess what else! I wrote 99 books, most of them New York Times Best Sellers.
Moving right along here . . . Several years ago I left Ballantine Books, parted company with my agent, sold my house in New Jersey that I had lived in all my married life and in 1993 moved to South Carolina. I figured if I was going to go through trauma let it be all at one time. It was a breeze. The kids were all on their own at that point. The dump was a 300 year old plantation house that is listed in the National Registry that I remodeled. Today it is beyond belief as are the gardens and the equally old Angel Oaks that drip Spanish moss. Unfortunately, I could not get my ghost to relocate. This ghost has been documented by previous owners. Mary Margaret as we call her, is “a friendly”. She is also mischievous. It took me two weeks to figure out that she didn’t like my coffee cups. They would slide off the table or counter or else they’d break in the dishwasher. I bought red checkered ones. All are intact as of this writing. She moves pillows from one room to the other and she stops all the clocks in the house at 9:10 in the a.m. at least once a week. When the Azaleas are in bloom, and only then, I find blooms on my night stand. I have this glorious front porch and during the warm months I see my swing moving early in the morning when the air is still and again late in the day. She doesn’t spook the dogs. I always know when she’s around because the five of them line up and look like they’re at a tennis match. As of this writing we’re co-habiting nicely.
Most writers love what they do and I’m no exception. I love it when I get a germ of an idea and get it down on paper. I love breathing life into my characters. I love writing about women who persevere and prevail because that’s what I had to do to get to this point in time. It’s another way of saying it doesn’t matter where you’ve been, what matters is where you’re going and how you get there. The day I finally prevailed was the day I was inducted into the New Jersey Literary Hall of Fame. For me it was an awesome day and there are no words to describe it.
I’ve been telling stories and scribbling for 37 years. I hope I can continue for another 37 years. It wasn’t easy during some of those years. As I said, I had to persevere. My old Polish grandmother said something to me when I was little that I never forgot. She said when God is good to you, you have to give back. For a while I didn’t know how to do that. When I finally figured it out I set up The Fern Michaels® Foundation.
READ FERN MICHAELS' FULL BIOGRAPHY HERE: http://www.fernmichaels.com/biography/
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 61 reviews
October 27, 2021
Oh my, I almost didn't read this after the prologue and chap 1. I hated the emotional abusive husband and USAF jet pilot, and a few scenes were quite crude. As so many gave 4 & 5 star reviews and I did want to know how the author was going to handle "the return", I finished it. In reality I skimmed quite a bit of it.
Kate & Patrick were childhood sweethearts, and Kate worshipped the ground Patrick walked on, (already a negative in my book). She tries to be the perfect housewife & mother, despite her best attempts Patrick is always putting her down and is quite controlling. Patrick is sent off to the Vietnam war with visions of wartime glory, such an (egotistical jerk). His plane is shot down and he is classified as MIA. The story then moves into familiar territory as Kate moves forward with her life. Over the next almost 20 years we follow Kate as she pulls herself together with the help of a stalwart friend and makes a success of her life.
Just as things are humming along pretty well, Patrick re-enters her life. This last quarter of the book was the most interesting, although did not feel authentic throughout. That is what made me move this from one star to two.
Kate & Patrick were childhood sweethearts, and Kate worshipped the ground Patrick walked on, (already a negative in my book). She tries to be the perfect housewife & mother, despite her best attempts Patrick is always putting her down and is quite controlling. Patrick is sent off to the Vietnam war with visions of wartime glory, such an (egotistical jerk). His plane is shot down and he is classified as MIA. The story then moves into familiar territory as Kate moves forward with her life. Over the next almost 20 years we follow Kate as she pulls herself together with the help of a stalwart friend and makes a success of her life.
Just as things are humming along pretty well, Patrick re-enters her life. This last quarter of the book was the most interesting, although did not feel authentic throughout. That is what made me move this from one star to two.
May 9, 2020
Rating 5 stars!! (Wish i could rate it 10 stars!!)
Review:
This was my first time reading a book by Fern so i wasnt sure if i'd like this book or not. I cryed through most of it cause of how sad this story was.
This story was set in 1970s about a woman who married a WW2 Flightman shipped overseas but than was announced MIA for 4 years than she decided to move on when her oldest daughter headed off the college the mother decides to move on and date her friend Gus but just when she does an unexpected news report happens.
This book takes you on a rollercoaster of highs, lows, tears, Excitement saddness etc but overall a good Historical Fiction Romance.
I was sad with the ending but loved the story overall. Can't wait to read more by Fern in the future!!
Review:
This was my first time reading a book by Fern so i wasnt sure if i'd like this book or not. I cryed through most of it cause of how sad this story was.
This story was set in 1970s about a woman who married a WW2 Flightman shipped overseas but than was announced MIA for 4 years than she decided to move on when her oldest daughter headed off the college the mother decides to move on and date her friend Gus but just when she does an unexpected news report happens.
This book takes you on a rollercoaster of highs, lows, tears, Excitement saddness etc but overall a good Historical Fiction Romance.
I was sad with the ending but loved the story overall. Can't wait to read more by Fern in the future!!
June 3, 2014
Loved this book and how a Kate did what she did to move on for her and her children after her husband was shot down and MIA in Vietnam. I could not put this book down and am a big fan of Fern Michaels from here on in. I was very happy with the story and how she captured how a widow Mother of 2 goes through the motions of life and struggles to get what she wants in life no matter what obstacles get in her way.
There are a few unexpected twists and turns in this book some were very surprising and made me read more and loose time while I was reading. I had (have) a hard time with the ending but will not spoil it for anyone else and with that said I would definitely recommend this for others to read.
There are a few unexpected twists and turns in this book some were very surprising and made me read more and loose time while I was reading. I had (have) a hard time with the ending but will not spoil it for anyone else and with that said I would definitely recommend this for others to read.
November 23, 2022
To Have and to Hold
This was another of Fern Michael classic, this family was stricken with an untimely lost. A soldier who was a pilot in the army was shot down over Vietnam was captured by the enemy for 20 years. His family of 2 girls and his wife had to move from the army base with no help from the army. Well Kate the mom had a part time job but due to depression she lost it. Kate met this Mexican lady Della at the park, they came together. The home owner Donald was happy to have a family moved in. So he did up the place and rented it . Eventually Kate , Ellie, Betsy and Della became Donald family . Kate children got their career, Kate got her business degree. She open 3 companies and met Gus her boyfriend who she fell in love with and promise to married. But after returning from a trip to Costa Rica she was summon to meet these men at custom at advice her that her husband was found alive but he cannot talk about what happen when he was captured . All members of the family sign also Kate's boyfriend Gus. After Kate took of his medical bills , bought him a jeep he told her he never love her he only married her to get tank in the army. I can tell this is a good read. Love it.
This was another of Fern Michael classic, this family was stricken with an untimely lost. A soldier who was a pilot in the army was shot down over Vietnam was captured by the enemy for 20 years. His family of 2 girls and his wife had to move from the army base with no help from the army. Well Kate the mom had a part time job but due to depression she lost it. Kate met this Mexican lady Della at the park, they came together. The home owner Donald was happy to have a family moved in. So he did up the place and rented it . Eventually Kate , Ellie, Betsy and Della became Donald family . Kate children got their career, Kate got her business degree. She open 3 companies and met Gus her boyfriend who she fell in love with and promise to married. But after returning from a trip to Costa Rica she was summon to meet these men at custom at advice her that her husband was found alive but he cannot talk about what happen when he was captured . All members of the family sign also Kate's boyfriend Gus. After Kate took of his medical bills , bought him a jeep he told her he never love her he only married her to get tank in the army. I can tell this is a good read. Love it.
June 27, 2019
To have and to hold by Fern Michaels
She's left at home and has been notified her husband Patrick is missing in action. He had safely ejected from the pilot seat of his plane over Vietnam.
Now she had to concentrate on the two little girls she had, all on her own...
She's lucky to have found someone who can help her and the girls-she falls apart and can't even get out of bed til one day the woman tells her she is leaving to be married...
She does an about face and gets a job, back to college and tends to the girls also and her husband is now a prisoner of war...
Like hearing of the struggles the husband has to endure and hope he can make it back in one piece.
Like how the family move on but keep things intact in case...unpredictable,
Love what the mom and girls were able to accomplish over time.
I received this book from National Library Service for my BARD (Braille Audio Reading Device).
She's left at home and has been notified her husband Patrick is missing in action. He had safely ejected from the pilot seat of his plane over Vietnam.
Now she had to concentrate on the two little girls she had, all on her own...
She's lucky to have found someone who can help her and the girls-she falls apart and can't even get out of bed til one day the woman tells her she is leaving to be married...
She does an about face and gets a job, back to college and tends to the girls also and her husband is now a prisoner of war...
Like hearing of the struggles the husband has to endure and hope he can make it back in one piece.
Like how the family move on but keep things intact in case...unpredictable,
Love what the mom and girls were able to accomplish over time.
I received this book from National Library Service for my BARD (Braille Audio Reading Device).
June 12, 2018
I wasn't sure I was going to like this book as it is about a pilot who goes missing in the Vietnam War and the struggles his wife has trying to raise their two daughters while having no skills. However, I soon found myself caught up in their struggles, especially where the government doesn't really give her satisfactory answers regarding what they know about his disappearance.
This can be a tear jerker for those of us who lived through that war but at the same time it also shows the strength of the women who had to pick up the pieces of their lives.
This can be a tear jerker for those of us who lived through that war but at the same time it also shows the strength of the women who had to pick up the pieces of their lives.
September 17, 2021
Page Turning Vietnam POW Story
The twists and turns of a very “Father Knows Best” family who loses the Pilot to the Vietnam War and a POW for 20 years. How does a single, meek now widowed woman raise children alone and with no government answers, honesty or support. She falls into friendships, housing, jobs and then educates herself and begins what will be a lucrative business…All while her husband is being tortured and mistreated…who is to blame when he returns and can’t adjust to life? Read on..
The twists and turns of a very “Father Knows Best” family who loses the Pilot to the Vietnam War and a POW for 20 years. How does a single, meek now widowed woman raise children alone and with no government answers, honesty or support. She falls into friendships, housing, jobs and then educates herself and begins what will be a lucrative business…All while her husband is being tortured and mistreated…who is to blame when he returns and can’t adjust to life? Read on..
December 6, 2021
Vietnam War Tore Them Apart
This book could and maybe should tear you apart. He was an Air Force pilot; she was a homemaker; they had two little girls. He left to drop bombs over North Vietnam. Fern Michaels has written a very challenging novel about a family torn apart by the Vietnam war, and what happens to the little American family, especially when the military and the secretive government agents won't tell them anything. Especially poignant for those of us who lived during that time period.
This book could and maybe should tear you apart. He was an Air Force pilot; she was a homemaker; they had two little girls. He left to drop bombs over North Vietnam. Fern Michaels has written a very challenging novel about a family torn apart by the Vietnam war, and what happens to the little American family, especially when the military and the secretive government agents won't tell them anything. Especially poignant for those of us who lived during that time period.
August 9, 2019
Overall a good story, but a few flaws bothered me:
--It was just a little too convenient how everyone came into huge amounts of wealth just when they needed it.
--Time jumps over the years didn't always flow smoothly
--Patrick's mood swings were to be expected, but the total personality change at the end was not believable.
--A fountain pen with a camera? seriously?
--Is euthanasia permitted in California? why wasn't there an autopsy?
--It was just a little too convenient how everyone came into huge amounts of wealth just when they needed it.
--Time jumps over the years didn't always flow smoothly
--Patrick's mood swings were to be expected, but the total personality change at the end was not believable.
--A fountain pen with a camera? seriously?
--Is euthanasia permitted in California? why wasn't there an autopsy?
May 21, 2022
Just plain excellent!
The growth in both characters (Kate and Patrick) was so well done throughout the book, especially Kate. The research required to pull this Vietnam era story must have been both interesting and challenging. I found myself getting angry when I read about the requirements for Patrick's release from his captors. Great and satisfying ending!
The growth in both characters (Kate and Patrick) was so well done throughout the book, especially Kate. The research required to pull this Vietnam era story must have been both interesting and challenging. I found myself getting angry when I read about the requirements for Patrick's release from his captors. Great and satisfying ending!
March 16, 2024
Nancy
Oh my! This book was so interesting. The characters were well developed and so interesting.The storyline was intriguing and so in depth. The book was written so beautifully with lots of up and downs! Lots of tears ! What a great book! Thanks for the this great piece of work.
Oh my! This book was so interesting. The characters were well developed and so interesting.The storyline was intriguing and so in depth. The book was written so beautifully with lots of up and downs! Lots of tears ! What a great book! Thanks for the this great piece of work.
July 10, 2021
To Have and To Hold
This is another great story by Fern Michaels about life and how it can be lived and how people can be loved at the same time. This is my review and mine alone. Norma Gorrill
This is another great story by Fern Michaels about life and how it can be lived and how people can be loved at the same time. This is my review and mine alone. Norma Gorrill
August 28, 2021
Get the tissue box ready!
I always liked Michaels books but this one was exceptional. Didn’t read in one sitting but read instead of working. My deceased husband would have given it a whole box of tissues rating😥
I always liked Michaels books but this one was exceptional. Didn’t read in one sitting but read instead of working. My deceased husband would have given it a whole box of tissues rating😥
January 7, 2022
Excellent Book
It was a great book. Alot of sadness alot happiness. About family and friends life experiences. Could not put it down. Beautiful written and many heart felt moments. Loved it.
It was a great book. Alot of sadness alot happiness. About family and friends life experiences. Could not put it down. Beautiful written and many heart felt moments. Loved it.
December 15, 2022
To Have and to Hold …. sweet memories
This book was an adventure I’m glad I took when reading this book. It was good and so hard to put down till I finished it! I didn’t want to end though. Worth the read for sure. I enjoyed it very much. ♥️
This book was an adventure I’m glad I took when reading this book. It was good and so hard to put down till I finished it! I didn’t want to end though. Worth the read for sure. I enjoyed it very much. ♥️
February 13, 2023
I couldn't put it down.
Just when I think she's can't do so many wonderful stories she proves me wrong. She is one Amazing writer. Thank you so much Ms. Michaels. You keep writing and I'll keep reading. Thank you so much.
Just when I think she's can't do so many wonderful stories she proves me wrong. She is one Amazing writer. Thank you so much Ms. Michaels. You keep writing and I'll keep reading. Thank you so much.
June 10, 2023
Great Book!!!!! Took me a while to finish it due to life happenings but it was a fast and easy read. SO worth my time. This book defines for better or worse. It made me think of so many other family enduring this situation. I haven't read a book by her in a long time but that is going to change!
December 27, 2024
It was choppy at best…the main character wasn’t my favorite…her husband Patrick was a real butthead…it didn’t make me want to have him return…and when he did, Kate still stayed with him. Yeah, okay. It was not believable in any way. I really only liked the character Ellie.
July 20, 2025
Impossible to put down
I love everything that Fern Michaels writes. This one was not what I expected. The details made me want to cry because they are so real, she really outdid herself. Thank God for the happy ending.
I love everything that Fern Michaels writes. This one was not what I expected. The details made me want to cry because they are so real, she really outdid herself. Thank God for the happy ending.
September 18, 2025
excellent book
This book really tells it like our government hides everything from us that should be brought out to the public. They are sneaky and devious and the ordinary citizens will never ever understand what our taxes really pay for. Fabulous book.
This book really tells it like our government hides everything from us that should be brought out to the public. They are sneaky and devious and the ordinary citizens will never ever understand what our taxes really pay for. Fabulous book.
October 2, 2025
love never fails
True love keeps its promises. Unexpected to the very end! Classy and real. So many lies were told during the Vietnam war era, so many lives destroyed. Fern Michaels captures the reader brilliantly with the Starr family.
True love keeps its promises. Unexpected to the very end! Classy and real. So many lies were told during the Vietnam war era, so many lives destroyed. Fern Michaels captures the reader brilliantly with the Starr family.
February 9, 2018
A breathtaking book that will have you on the edge of your seat till the end.
December 5, 2018
A very good book
December 17, 2018
Awesome read!
Wow! One of her best, loved this book. I love the storyline ,it was so captivating. I couldn't put it down
Wow! One of her best, loved this book. I love the storyline ,it was so captivating. I couldn't put it down
September 16, 2019
This book kept me guessing until the end what Kate will do. Fascinating read!
September 30, 2019
Wow, this Book ran the gamut of emotions. There were moments when I wanted to throw a hissy fit, moments when I wanted to laugh moments when I wanted to cry like a baby. One hell of a story!
December 21, 2019
Perfect Read for a Young adult of the 70s
Read this in one sitting. Reminds me of life in my 20s with VierNam and all this POWs and MIAs. A touching story told very well.
Read this in one sitting. Reminds me of life in my 20s with VierNam and all this POWs and MIAs. A touching story told very well.
February 22, 2021
To Have and to Hold
This is a very good story about a young woman that loses her husband and he is a prisoner of war for the twenty years and they realize that life changes
This is a very good story about a young woman that loses her husband and he is a prisoner of war for the twenty years and they realize that life changes
April 16, 2021
Captivating
Once I got started reading, I couldn't stop. It captivated me from the very begining. Never never never give up.
Once I got started reading, I couldn't stop. It captivated me from the very begining. Never never never give up.
July 30, 2021
Love
Always love to read a great romance.love the ending.I cried and laugh.I think that I was a little too much happening in the middle that was not important.
Always love to read a great romance.love the ending.I cried and laugh.I think that I was a little too much happening in the middle that was not important.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 61 reviews