What do you think?
Trabajos de amor
‘A work of genius… It would not be humanly possible for me to recommend his work more highly’ India Knight
‘Left me feeling wiser and more open to life’ Oliver Burkeman
Luminous and necessary stories from the psychoanalyst's consulting room; on desire, heartbreak and learning how to love.
When it comes to love why do we find things so difficult? Drawing on over forty years of candid and surprising conversations with his patients, Stephen Grosz asks, what gets in the way of our falling in love? And what must we do to stay there?
In the intimate space of the consulting room, we meet the woman who can’t post her wedding invitations but then, decades later, can’t decide whether to get divorced; the friendship group that explodes when an adulterous affair begins; and the man whose partner’s death is almost too much to bear.
As an analyst, Grosz’s unerring ability is to locate what ails the heartsick. As a writer, he elegantly shows how we can deploy the agonies of love as tools for understanding.
The labour of love is the work of a lifetime but in finally learning to see ourselves and our world clearly, we find we are truly ready to love one another.
*** A 'BEST BOOK OF 2025' IN THE TIMES AND IRISH TIMES***
‘The poet laureate of human emotion’ Elizabeth Day
‘This man could save your marriage’ Sunday Times
'Stephen Grosz ... is one of the best at writing about psychoanalysis' The Times
'Powerful and compelling' Guardian
'This is a beautiful book' Nigella Lawson
‘Left me feeling wiser and more open to life’ Oliver Burkeman
Luminous and necessary stories from the psychoanalyst's consulting room; on desire, heartbreak and learning how to love.
When it comes to love why do we find things so difficult? Drawing on over forty years of candid and surprising conversations with his patients, Stephen Grosz asks, what gets in the way of our falling in love? And what must we do to stay there?
In the intimate space of the consulting room, we meet the woman who can’t post her wedding invitations but then, decades later, can’t decide whether to get divorced; the friendship group that explodes when an adulterous affair begins; and the man whose partner’s death is almost too much to bear.
As an analyst, Grosz’s unerring ability is to locate what ails the heartsick. As a writer, he elegantly shows how we can deploy the agonies of love as tools for understanding.
The labour of love is the work of a lifetime but in finally learning to see ourselves and our world clearly, we find we are truly ready to love one another.
*** A 'BEST BOOK OF 2025' IN THE TIMES AND IRISH TIMES***
‘The poet laureate of human emotion’ Elizabeth Day
‘This man could save your marriage’ Sunday Times
'Stephen Grosz ... is one of the best at writing about psychoanalysis' The Times
'Powerful and compelling' Guardian
'This is a beautiful book' Nigella Lawson
192 pages, Paperback
Published March 17, 2026
About the author
Stephen Grosz
12 books272 followersStephen Grosz is a practicing psychoanalyst—he has worked with patients for more than twenty-five years. Born in America, educated at the University of California, Berkeley, and at Oxford University, he lives in London. A Sunday Times bestseller, The Examined Life is his first book.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 162 reviews
March 13, 2026
3.5~4
"It is January 1983, the first Monday after New Year's. Dark skies; pounding, icy rain. Harley Street is filled with taxis. When the traffic lights change, the taxis don't move. There is nowhere for them to go. Umbrellas bob at odd angles, their users tilting to avoid collisions.
. . .
To become a psychoanalyst, you must have an analysis yourself, and this training analysis will have a profound effect on the way you do the work—how could it be otherwise? I am waiting to begin my first psychoanalytic session."
Thus begins the author's introduction to his future. He discusses what and how he's learned about himself and how he hopes to help others. This sounds more cut and dried than it is. There are personalities within 'the system', because doctors are not AI cookie-cutters of a category of practitioners… and there certainly are categories.
Psychiatrists and other medical doctors can prescribe medications, while psychologists, who are medical professionals, are usually the first port of call for people with behavioural or mental health issues.
If you have ever seen the long-running TV show "In Treatment" with Gabriel Byrne, and later, Uzo Aduba, as psychotherapists, you'll have a pretty good idea of what various cases may look like and how therapy progresses. Each case here could be the premise of a mini-series.
In "Lost Love" he discusses one of his early clients.
"Before the internet, before email and mobile phones, a marriage therapist I knew sent me a letter requesting that I see one of his patients. The patient's name was Dr. Ravi M., and he was a forty-three-year-old mathematics lecturer. Ravi and his wife were in marital therapy. The therapist thought Ravi's wife, Dr. Sonal M., a physics lecturer, was anxious to improve their marriage, and committed to the treatment. He found Ravi less enthusiastic."
We begin Season One of "Lost Love" with Ravi coming to Grosz for psychoanalysis. Ravi eventually reveals that Sonal is having an affair. He can't confront her or go with her to marriage counselling because it will lead to divorce and his parents' divorce was a family catastrophe. So, what does he do? Just avoids her.
When Grosz questions him further, it's obvious Ravi has become delusional to the point that he is completely convinced there is an affair, no matter what anyone says.
Grosz decides to consult his own therapist about the situation and how best to handle it. Again, I was reminded of "In Treatment", where Gabriel Bryne's character goes to see his own therapist. I have no idea how 'true' the program is (was), but I couldn't help being reminded of it.
"'A delusion is a fire that burns down reality. There will be times, like with the..., when you can show him that he has been evading reality rather than seeking evidence. Just continue as you've begun: pick up the delusion, and hand it back. Help him to speak about his feelings.'"
The cases are very different from each other, and I'm not sure how therapists at any level of the hierarchy can go home, relax, and let off steam. Sometimes they debrief with each other and enjoy the camaraderie of conferences around the world.
They present cases they've had and share a kind of they-said-I-said scenario of how the therapy went. One psychiatrist, Cora, told of 'John Smith', who talked about himself until she finally asked when she could 'meet' John, not just talk about him. He colleagues thought this was an interesting approach.
"Susan made the point that there are patients, diverse in their psychopathology, who present with one common feature: they give a performance of being a patient. How, she asked, can we reach a patient who will not bring himself into the analysis?"
Grosz loved these conversations and talks about some of the great friends he's made But he also regrets the complications that eventually arose when a few colleagues adhered to the principle of "what happens on the road stays on the road" (whether in Vegas or London). It busted up a few friendships - a familiar story to many, I'm sure.
I enjoyed meeting him and his clients (and even the wayward colleagues), and I think he chose his cases well for this "Love's Labor" collection. As we say, nobody knows what happens behind a closed door, but his job is to find out as carefully and helpfully as possible.
Thanks to #NetGalley and Random House for a copy of #LovesLabor for review.
"It is January 1983, the first Monday after New Year's. Dark skies; pounding, icy rain. Harley Street is filled with taxis. When the traffic lights change, the taxis don't move. There is nowhere for them to go. Umbrellas bob at odd angles, their users tilting to avoid collisions.
. . .
To become a psychoanalyst, you must have an analysis yourself, and this training analysis will have a profound effect on the way you do the work—how could it be otherwise? I am waiting to begin my first psychoanalytic session."
Thus begins the author's introduction to his future. He discusses what and how he's learned about himself and how he hopes to help others. This sounds more cut and dried than it is. There are personalities within 'the system', because doctors are not AI cookie-cutters of a category of practitioners… and there certainly are categories.
Psychiatrists and other medical doctors can prescribe medications, while psychologists, who are medical professionals, are usually the first port of call for people with behavioural or mental health issues.
If you have ever seen the long-running TV show "In Treatment" with Gabriel Byrne, and later, Uzo Aduba, as psychotherapists, you'll have a pretty good idea of what various cases may look like and how therapy progresses. Each case here could be the premise of a mini-series.
In "Lost Love" he discusses one of his early clients.
"Before the internet, before email and mobile phones, a marriage therapist I knew sent me a letter requesting that I see one of his patients. The patient's name was Dr. Ravi M., and he was a forty-three-year-old mathematics lecturer. Ravi and his wife were in marital therapy. The therapist thought Ravi's wife, Dr. Sonal M., a physics lecturer, was anxious to improve their marriage, and committed to the treatment. He found Ravi less enthusiastic."
We begin Season One of "Lost Love" with Ravi coming to Grosz for psychoanalysis. Ravi eventually reveals that Sonal is having an affair. He can't confront her or go with her to marriage counselling because it will lead to divorce and his parents' divorce was a family catastrophe. So, what does he do? Just avoids her.
When Grosz questions him further, it's obvious Ravi has become delusional to the point that he is completely convinced there is an affair, no matter what anyone says.
Grosz decides to consult his own therapist about the situation and how best to handle it. Again, I was reminded of "In Treatment", where Gabriel Bryne's character goes to see his own therapist. I have no idea how 'true' the program is (was), but I couldn't help being reminded of it.
"'A delusion is a fire that burns down reality. There will be times, like with the..., when you can show him that he has been evading reality rather than seeking evidence. Just continue as you've begun: pick up the delusion, and hand it back. Help him to speak about his feelings.'"
The cases are very different from each other, and I'm not sure how therapists at any level of the hierarchy can go home, relax, and let off steam. Sometimes they debrief with each other and enjoy the camaraderie of conferences around the world.
They present cases they've had and share a kind of they-said-I-said scenario of how the therapy went. One psychiatrist, Cora, told of 'John Smith', who talked about himself until she finally asked when she could 'meet' John, not just talk about him. He colleagues thought this was an interesting approach.
"Susan made the point that there are patients, diverse in their psychopathology, who present with one common feature: they give a performance of being a patient. How, she asked, can we reach a patient who will not bring himself into the analysis?"
Grosz loved these conversations and talks about some of the great friends he's made But he also regrets the complications that eventually arose when a few colleagues adhered to the principle of "what happens on the road stays on the road" (whether in Vegas or London). It busted up a few friendships - a familiar story to many, I'm sure.
I enjoyed meeting him and his clients (and even the wayward colleagues), and I think he chose his cases well for this "Love's Labor" collection. As we say, nobody knows what happens behind a closed door, but his job is to find out as carefully and helpfully as possible.
Thanks to #NetGalley and Random House for a copy of #LovesLabor for review.
March 21, 2026
Love’s Labor came to me right when I needed it in my life. Psychiatrist Stephen Grosz reflects on his life-long practice throughout this book. It showcases several anonymized patients and situations that really highlight the complexity of love that exists in human relationships, the different forms it can take, and how much work many of us put into self-improvement and maintaining those relationships. In other words, the true testaments of how much labour goes into love, all in the name of improving the ways we express and show love to others, and on the converse, ways we must believe we are loveable and can internalize and feel love from others.
On a personal note, specific chapters in this book really had me reflecting on the meanings behind some of my own habits, allowing me to have some epiphanies about my own inner self that I've never had before.
Stephen Grosz approaches his patients in such an understanding, non-accusatory, and non-judenental way. I found the care and insight he has towards the patients so healing and reassuring. You will be left feeling hopeful and inspired by this book!
Huge thank you to @randomhouseca for the #gifted ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review!
On a personal note, specific chapters in this book really had me reflecting on the meanings behind some of my own habits, allowing me to have some epiphanies about my own inner self that I've never had before.
Stephen Grosz approaches his patients in such an understanding, non-accusatory, and non-judenental way. I found the care and insight he has towards the patients so healing and reassuring. You will be left feeling hopeful and inspired by this book!
Huge thank you to @randomhouseca for the #gifted ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review!
September 8, 2025
Insanely captivating, couldn’t put it down!
November 14, 2025
Thank you to Random House and NetGalley for providing an advance copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. The book will be published on February 10th, 2026.
This is a collection of client “stories” as told by Stephen Grosz, a psychoanalytic therapist in the Freudian school. I did enjoy some of the insights extracted from these encounters. Grosz comes up with the “actual” question buried in an initial complaint and these are both surprising and gut-feel correct. Unfortunately, I didn’t find the writing to be terribly engaging. It is the character’s neuroses that come to life, rather than the characters as whole people. But what is really missing for me is the journey. Some of these “stories” took literal years to achieve closure. I would have been far more interested in learning how the essential problem and possible resolution came to light. I have enjoyed books by Oliver Sacks, Irvin Yalom, and Lori Gottlieb quite a bit and was hoping to get some similar understanding from reading this book but it seemed to be missing the essential parts that would have led me to learn more about how human beings work and how people can solve their problems (the answer seems to be “spend several years in therapy” and I need a little more than that!
This is a collection of client “stories” as told by Stephen Grosz, a psychoanalytic therapist in the Freudian school. I did enjoy some of the insights extracted from these encounters. Grosz comes up with the “actual” question buried in an initial complaint and these are both surprising and gut-feel correct. Unfortunately, I didn’t find the writing to be terribly engaging. It is the character’s neuroses that come to life, rather than the characters as whole people. But what is really missing for me is the journey. Some of these “stories” took literal years to achieve closure. I would have been far more interested in learning how the essential problem and possible resolution came to light. I have enjoyed books by Oliver Sacks, Irvin Yalom, and Lori Gottlieb quite a bit and was hoping to get some similar understanding from reading this book but it seemed to be missing the essential parts that would have led me to learn more about how human beings work and how people can solve their problems (the answer seems to be “spend several years in therapy” and I need a little more than that!
February 7, 2026
“love, too, can cause us to feel vulnerable and helpless. maybe it is only in this state of mind–when we are unsure of what to do, when we no longer know which way to go–that we are motivated to understand ourselves better.”
this book feels like sitting quietly in the corner of a consulting room, listening to the truths people only admit when love has already failed them. stephen grosz writes with a rare gentleness, allowing love to appear not as romance, but as work: slow, repetitive, often misunderstood. this book isn’t interested in grand gestures; it’s interested in patterns, silences, and the strange ways we protect ourselves from needing others even when we so desperately want them.
i’m drawn to books like this because i like reading about things i don’t understand. love is one of them. psychoanalysis offers a language for something that otherwise feels abstract or unsafe to name. grosz doesn’t define love neatly, and that’s what makes the book resonate. instead, he circles it through absence, fear, dependency, and loss, showing how often love is confused with control, fantasy, or familiarity. reading this felt less like learning what love is and more like learning why it so often goes wrong, and why that doesn’t make us foolish, just human.
this book feels like sitting quietly in the corner of a consulting room, listening to the truths people only admit when love has already failed them. stephen grosz writes with a rare gentleness, allowing love to appear not as romance, but as work: slow, repetitive, often misunderstood. this book isn’t interested in grand gestures; it’s interested in patterns, silences, and the strange ways we protect ourselves from needing others even when we so desperately want them.
i’m drawn to books like this because i like reading about things i don’t understand. love is one of them. psychoanalysis offers a language for something that otherwise feels abstract or unsafe to name. grosz doesn’t define love neatly, and that’s what makes the book resonate. instead, he circles it through absence, fear, dependency, and loss, showing how often love is confused with control, fantasy, or familiarity. reading this felt less like learning what love is and more like learning why it so often goes wrong, and why that doesn’t make us foolish, just human.
January 11, 2026
Thank you to Random House and NetGalley for providing an advance copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. The book will be published on February 10th, 2026.
This book follows a practicing psychoanalyst in his professional practice, his education, and his personal internal musings and growth.
I found the stories about patient interactions both interesting and moving, such as the man who felt he was dead, despite being very much physically alive.
What I found most enjoyable was the way Grosz walks us through how each session impacts the way he thinks, not only when treating patients, but also in how he lives his life.
This book prompted deep introspection and thoughtfulness in myself in a way I found quite valuable, which warrants 5 stars.
This book follows a practicing psychoanalyst in his professional practice, his education, and his personal internal musings and growth.
I found the stories about patient interactions both interesting and moving, such as the man who felt he was dead, despite being very much physically alive.
What I found most enjoyable was the way Grosz walks us through how each session impacts the way he thinks, not only when treating patients, but also in how he lives his life.
This book prompted deep introspection and thoughtfulness in myself in a way I found quite valuable, which warrants 5 stars.
August 30, 2025
so good I read it in a single sitting
March 21, 2026
I listened to this hypnotic book, narrated by the author. Grosz tells us stories of his patients' analyses that are both troubling and optimistic.
The patients that Grosz reports on are troubled, and Grosz is interested in how their neuroses developed, and how during the analysis the pair figures things out, and how sometimes the process works. But more often we aren't told the patient’s outcome and are left to wonder how these people fare. The last chapter, aptly called Haunting, is particularly disturbing, with the patient finally reporting his girlfriend’s suicide 10 years earlier. I don’t know what to think. I suppose one must figure oneself out.
I’m not sure what young people are thinking about analysis, maybe I’ve read that it might be coming back into style, but most baby boomers grew up hearing about it, whatever their feelings about its efficacy. But it was certainly a mysterious and charged process – my best childhood friend’s parents were both analysts (!) – so I was in more than toe deep.
In any case Grosz leaves us with a beautiful concept – that happiness is wanting what you have. It seems that modern analysis and Buddhism do come together.
The patients that Grosz reports on are troubled, and Grosz is interested in how their neuroses developed, and how during the analysis the pair figures things out, and how sometimes the process works. But more often we aren't told the patient’s outcome and are left to wonder how these people fare. The last chapter, aptly called Haunting, is particularly disturbing, with the patient finally reporting his girlfriend’s suicide 10 years earlier. I don’t know what to think. I suppose one must figure oneself out.
I’m not sure what young people are thinking about analysis, maybe I’ve read that it might be coming back into style, but most baby boomers grew up hearing about it, whatever their feelings about its efficacy. But it was certainly a mysterious and charged process – my best childhood friend’s parents were both analysts (!) – so I was in more than toe deep.
In any case Grosz leaves us with a beautiful concept – that happiness is wanting what you have. It seems that modern analysis and Buddhism do come together.
June 3, 2026
Just finished Love’s Labour by Stephen Grosz. 🤍📖
A beautiful collection of psychoanalytic stories that explores the hidden forces shaping our lives, love, sexuality, desire, childhood trauma, grief, death, loss, and the unconscious patterns we repeat without realizing it.
Some books arrive at exactly the right moment, and this was one of them.
In the wake of a recent suicide in my family, I found myself turning each page feeling seen. Through the stories of his patients, Grosz explores the ways we make sense of pain, attachment, and loss. Again and again, I found pieces of myself, and of people I love, in these stories.
What struck me most was watching the psychoanalytic process unfold: the way seemingly disconnected memories, emotions, and experiences slowly come together to reveal a deeper truth. The connections Grosz makes are subtle, compassionate, and often astonishing.
This is not just a book about psychology; it’s a book about being human. It gave me new language for things I had felt but never fully understood, and new insights into how our past continues to live within us.
A deeply moving and brilliant work. One of those rare books that finds you exactly when you need it most.
A beautiful collection of psychoanalytic stories that explores the hidden forces shaping our lives, love, sexuality, desire, childhood trauma, grief, death, loss, and the unconscious patterns we repeat without realizing it.
Some books arrive at exactly the right moment, and this was one of them.
In the wake of a recent suicide in my family, I found myself turning each page feeling seen. Through the stories of his patients, Grosz explores the ways we make sense of pain, attachment, and loss. Again and again, I found pieces of myself, and of people I love, in these stories.
What struck me most was watching the psychoanalytic process unfold: the way seemingly disconnected memories, emotions, and experiences slowly come together to reveal a deeper truth. The connections Grosz makes are subtle, compassionate, and often astonishing.
This is not just a book about psychology; it’s a book about being human. It gave me new language for things I had felt but never fully understood, and new insights into how our past continues to live within us.
A deeply moving and brilliant work. One of those rare books that finds you exactly when you need it most.
March 26, 2026
I was surprised how much I enjoyed this. It reminded me a little of The Reflective Practioner by Schon but for personal relationships.
February 28, 2026
✨Love’s Labor✨
Quick Vibe
This book follows a psychoanalyst as he shares real stories from his practice, focusing on his patients and the struggles they carry. It explores love, heartbreak, grief, and the childhood wounds that shape us more than we realize. At its core, both the patients and the book are circling the same question: how do we actually find and keep love?
What I Liked
I’m not usually a huge non fiction reader unless it’s a memoir, but I flew through this. It’s short, but it doesn’t feel small. Every story had emotion behind it, and you can tell the author genuinely cares about the people he’s writing about.
There were a few moments where I literally paused and just thought about my own childhood and relationships. I love when a book makes you reflect without being obvious.
What I Didn’t Love
Honestly, nothing major. If you don’t love introspective, psychology type reads, it might not fully hit for you.
Overall Thoughts
Overall, Love’s Labor did exactly what it set out to do. It made me think. It made me reflect. I’d definitely recommend it if you like thoughtful reads with a theme of human behaviour and psychology.
⭐ Rating: 4.5 stars
Thank you to Penguin Random House Canada for sending me the advanced reader copy.
Quick Vibe
This book follows a psychoanalyst as he shares real stories from his practice, focusing on his patients and the struggles they carry. It explores love, heartbreak, grief, and the childhood wounds that shape us more than we realize. At its core, both the patients and the book are circling the same question: how do we actually find and keep love?
What I Liked
I’m not usually a huge non fiction reader unless it’s a memoir, but I flew through this. It’s short, but it doesn’t feel small. Every story had emotion behind it, and you can tell the author genuinely cares about the people he’s writing about.
There were a few moments where I literally paused and just thought about my own childhood and relationships. I love when a book makes you reflect without being obvious.
What I Didn’t Love
Honestly, nothing major. If you don’t love introspective, psychology type reads, it might not fully hit for you.
Overall Thoughts
Overall, Love’s Labor did exactly what it set out to do. It made me think. It made me reflect. I’d definitely recommend it if you like thoughtful reads with a theme of human behaviour and psychology.
⭐ Rating: 4.5 stars
Thank you to Penguin Random House Canada for sending me the advanced reader copy.
February 18, 2026
✨️Thank you to #partner @prhaudio, @randomhousecanada & Stephen Grosz for my gifted audiobook & ARC in exchange for an honest review.
#PRHAudioPartner #PRHAInfluencer
Love's Labor is a collection of true stories from the author's work as a psychoanalyst. It was definitely interesting, the stories were compelling and had a nice depth to them but that's how far it went for me. The writing just didn't grab me or work for me in any way. I had a hard time truly connecting with the stories due to feeling so detached from the writing. I felt like it was very monotone and that the stories lacked emotion to give the full impact of each story.
Also, I felt like the stories were missing core parts. Some took years to reach a conclusion, but I felt like the journey to get there lacked. I just thought it would be more engaging, more emotional. I just needed more from this collection of stories to truly have the impact I was expecting from it.
Overall, this was just not the read for me. The writing threw me out of the story entirely, the stories were interesting, but the delivery missed the mark for me.
#PRHAudioPartner #PRHAInfluencer
Love's Labor is a collection of true stories from the author's work as a psychoanalyst. It was definitely interesting, the stories were compelling and had a nice depth to them but that's how far it went for me. The writing just didn't grab me or work for me in any way. I had a hard time truly connecting with the stories due to feeling so detached from the writing. I felt like it was very monotone and that the stories lacked emotion to give the full impact of each story.
Also, I felt like the stories were missing core parts. Some took years to reach a conclusion, but I felt like the journey to get there lacked. I just thought it would be more engaging, more emotional. I just needed more from this collection of stories to truly have the impact I was expecting from it.
Overall, this was just not the read for me. The writing threw me out of the story entirely, the stories were interesting, but the delivery missed the mark for me.
July 23, 2025
If you’re a fan of Stephen Grosz, after reading The Examined Life, then pick this one up! A set of life-changing revelations which make you deeply think about love, tenderness and togetherness.
Thank you PRH for an advanced reading copy.
Thank you PRH for an advanced reading copy.
July 16, 2026
Quería leer algo que no fuera ficción o no del todo, así que tomé este ensayo por parte de un psicoanalista sobre el amor. Me pareció bien, muy rápido de leer y hasta entretenido, aunque pensé que había más de su parte, de sus propios análisis.
A lo largo de cuarenta años de carrera, el psicoanalista Stephen Grosz comenzó a analizar algunos casos de sus pacientes y de sí mismo para preguntarse ¿qué nos impide enamorarnos? ¿y qué debemos hacer para seguir estándolo? Por medio de historias cortas fue presentando a distintas personas en situaciones en las que algo les impedía sentir de verdad amor y la terapia que tuvo con ellos.
Pensé que este libro iría en el estilo de Deberías hablar con alguien con un terapeuta contando historias de sus pacientes (con su permiso, claramente) mientras trataba el tema del amor. Sin embargo, fue más como una recopilación de casos independientes con varios saltos en el tiempo, no necesariamente en un solo sentido.
Creo que estuvo bien, Stephen tiene una prosa bien ligera y sencilla de leer, se sentía como una persona contándote lo que sucedía, aunque siempre con un tono de alguien en cierto nivel de autoridad, como un profesor. Los casos se sentían más como misterios al inicio, llegaba una persona con un problema y durante las páginas Stephen intentaba adivinar qué era lo que le ocasionaba ese problema y cómo solucionarlo. Claro que a veces no había una respuesta sencilla o a veces la persona abandonaba la terapia, así que no siempre llevaban a un final o algo similar para los lectores. Aunque como las historias abarcaban décadas, Stephen fue capaz de darnos cierres en varios casos para decirnos cuando volvió a ver a algunas de estas personas muchos años después.
Disfruté de las historias y de la forma en que fueron contadas. Sin embargo, creo que esperaba un poco más por parte del mismo Stephen, el libro al final contó con varias referencias de los otros psiconalistas que mencionó, pero creo que me refiero a que esperaba algo más como ensayo al cierre de cada caso. No solo la narración, sino que un análisis más complejo que los pocos párrafos que nos dio en cada relato. Quizá quería leer un ensayo completo y no este tipo de recopilación narrada de distintos casos. Sobre todo porque me gustaron los análisis que hacía, me gustó lo que decía y cómo lo decía, por eso hubiese disfrutado leerlo en más extenso.
Trabajos de amor fue un texto corto y rápido de leer donde el autor abordó todos esos motivos que nos impiden amar, las excusas que damos y el miedo que nos provoca este sentimiento. Todo por medio de los relatos de algunos pacientes y sus reflexiones.
"Eran muchas las cosas que no comprendía. No entendía que cada uno de nosotros somos responsables de nuestra propia felicidad. Que, si no me trataba a mí mismo con consideración y cuidado, lo más probable era que muchos otros tampoco me tratasen así".
A lo largo de cuarenta años de carrera, el psicoanalista Stephen Grosz comenzó a analizar algunos casos de sus pacientes y de sí mismo para preguntarse ¿qué nos impide enamorarnos? ¿y qué debemos hacer para seguir estándolo? Por medio de historias cortas fue presentando a distintas personas en situaciones en las que algo les impedía sentir de verdad amor y la terapia que tuvo con ellos.
"El mayor obstáculo para el aprendizaje acerca de nosotros mismos no es la ignorancia, sino nuestro «autoconocimiento». El amor nos exigge que dejemos atrás nuestra forma de vernos a nosotros mismos, para contemplarnos de maneras que tal vez nos desagraden".
Pensé que este libro iría en el estilo de Deberías hablar con alguien con un terapeuta contando historias de sus pacientes (con su permiso, claramente) mientras trataba el tema del amor. Sin embargo, fue más como una recopilación de casos independientes con varios saltos en el tiempo, no necesariamente en un solo sentido.
Creo que estuvo bien, Stephen tiene una prosa bien ligera y sencilla de leer, se sentía como una persona contándote lo que sucedía, aunque siempre con un tono de alguien en cierto nivel de autoridad, como un profesor. Los casos se sentían más como misterios al inicio, llegaba una persona con un problema y durante las páginas Stephen intentaba adivinar qué era lo que le ocasionaba ese problema y cómo solucionarlo. Claro que a veces no había una respuesta sencilla o a veces la persona abandonaba la terapia, así que no siempre llevaban a un final o algo similar para los lectores. Aunque como las historias abarcaban décadas, Stephen fue capaz de darnos cierres en varios casos para decirnos cuando volvió a ver a algunas de estas personas muchos años después.
"Cuando recordamos, descubrimos. Al descubrir, recordamos. El conocimiento de nuestro corazón ha de manar de nuestro corazón. No recibimos este conocimiento. Lo hallamos al final de un viaje que nadie más puede hacer por nosotros".
Disfruté de las historias y de la forma en que fueron contadas. Sin embargo, creo que esperaba un poco más por parte del mismo Stephen, el libro al final contó con varias referencias de los otros psiconalistas que mencionó, pero creo que me refiero a que esperaba algo más como ensayo al cierre de cada caso. No solo la narración, sino que un análisis más complejo que los pocos párrafos que nos dio en cada relato. Quizá quería leer un ensayo completo y no este tipo de recopilación narrada de distintos casos. Sobre todo porque me gustaron los análisis que hacía, me gustó lo que decía y cómo lo decía, por eso hubiese disfrutado leerlo en más extenso.
"Sentí una tristeza momentánea. Luego me embargó otro sentimiento, la dulzura de desear aquello que tienes: una definición de la felicidad".
Trabajos de amor fue un texto corto y rápido de leer donde el autor abordó todos esos motivos que nos impiden amar, las excusas que damos y el miedo que nos provoca este sentimiento. Todo por medio de los relatos de algunos pacientes y sus reflexiones.
May 28, 2026
MY THERAPIST WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS BOOK IN OUR NEXT APPOINTMENT.
“Love, too, can cause us to feel vulnerable and helpless. Maybe it is only in this state of mind—when we are unsure of what to do, when we no longer know which way to go—that we are motivated to understand ourselves better. We can only make sense of our sexual selves if we travel toward ourselves. This inward expedition leads us back and forth through time. As we remember, we discover. Discovering, we remember. Knowledge of our heart must come from our heart. We don’t receive this knowledge. We find it at the end of a journey no one else can make for us.”
“Love, too, can cause us to feel vulnerable and helpless. Maybe it is only in this state of mind—when we are unsure of what to do, when we no longer know which way to go—that we are motivated to understand ourselves better. We can only make sense of our sexual selves if we travel toward ourselves. This inward expedition leads us back and forth through time. As we remember, we discover. Discovering, we remember. Knowledge of our heart must come from our heart. We don’t receive this knowledge. We find it at the end of a journey no one else can make for us.”
April 26, 2026
I wanted more nitty gritty psychoanalysis. That’s probably toxic. At least there were literal mentions of patients lying down on couches, which I didn’t know was a real thing therapists still do.
I feel like it’s glamorous to see an “analyst” rather than a therapist. Who doesn’t want to pay money to someone to be analyzed, or better yet, read a book about other people being analyzed?
I have benefited a LOT from therapy. But I also feel that “therapy speak” has become a damaging phenomenon because we apply it to all the wrong things and feel justified doing so. Again, not something you can do as easily with “Oedipal complex” or “Castration anxiety” as “boundaries” and “self-care.”
Alas, this just wasn’t all that psychologically juicy.
I feel like it’s glamorous to see an “analyst” rather than a therapist. Who doesn’t want to pay money to someone to be analyzed, or better yet, read a book about other people being analyzed?
I have benefited a LOT from therapy. But I also feel that “therapy speak” has become a damaging phenomenon because we apply it to all the wrong things and feel justified doing so. Again, not something you can do as easily with “Oedipal complex” or “Castration anxiety” as “boundaries” and “self-care.”
Alas, this just wasn’t all that psychologically juicy.
June 3, 2026
All the marketing copy emphasizes this book’s “moving true stories,” but buried in the Sources and Notes in the back is a statement that the story about the two psychoanalysts dealing with the fallout of an affair is fictitious. It’s a fairly long story with plenty of details and leads into a reflection on the “goals” of psychotherapy… but apparently it’s a parable? I read a published review that mentioned this story in particular, and I didn’t get the impression the reviewer understood this story to be fiction either. This book has some thought-provoking ideas and case studies, but slipping in a piece of fiction left a bad taste in my mouth.
April 1, 2026
3.5 stars -
I happened on this completely by accident on Libby one day and I thought I would give the audiobook a try since I am trying to read more nonfiction this year. And overall I did enjoy this. There are some really great and heart wrenching stories in here about people's personal experience with love and how it can make or break you sometimes. I especially liked the ending story about a young man and his experience loving an addict. I think the main issue I had with this is that it felt really disjointed. The stories themselves are great but the way they are compiled and oriented in the book seemed a little disorganized and all over the place. Not sure if this author is for me.
I happened on this completely by accident on Libby one day and I thought I would give the audiobook a try since I am trying to read more nonfiction this year. And overall I did enjoy this. There are some really great and heart wrenching stories in here about people's personal experience with love and how it can make or break you sometimes. I especially liked the ending story about a young man and his experience loving an addict. I think the main issue I had with this is that it felt really disjointed. The stories themselves are great but the way they are compiled and oriented in the book seemed a little disorganized and all over the place. Not sure if this author is for me.
November 28, 2025
a book friend (Kirstin) had given this five stars, so ordered it from blackwells before it’s published in the states next year, as felt so drawn to it…
& so grateful that I did. definitely recommend.
I haven’t read anything previously by this author, but might later seek it out too.
[read the hardcover edition]
& so grateful that I did. definitely recommend.
I haven’t read anything previously by this author, but might later seek it out too.
[read the hardcover edition]
September 17, 2025
Remarkable collection of short stories from a long career in psychotherapy, each one as engrossing and captivating as the last. The psyche in relationships as the most difficult unpredictable mystery.
September 17, 2025
So fascinating, entertaining, thought provoking. It could be a fiction even ….
February 27, 2026
2.75 ⭐️.
I had higher expectations.
I had higher expectations.
August 2, 2026
Given the author’s decades of experience as a psychotherapist, I was hoping to leave this book with more insights than I had by the time I finished. One of the highlights was dropping into Dr. Grosz’s mind and understanding the non-judgmental but highly observant way he would engage with his patients. But apart from describing the interesting events in their lives and peculiar behaviors that emerged from their subconscious, I’m not sure the content of the patients’ stories actually made me think differently about what it means to love.
March 14, 2026
this was fun and often poignant; i love gossip (case studies). i appreciated the author's inclusion of stories from his own life and his colleagues' lives-- all mental health workers are nosy as hell!!!-- and his writing of himself as someone persistently trying to understand, and sometimes stumbling, rather than someone with answers or even able to help.
April 9, 2026
"Psychoanalysis is a particular form of not knowing. Psychoanalysis is two people not knowing together." Just one of many quotes that took my breath away in this delightful book, which resonated deeply with me as a psychologist. Dr. Grosz is a gifted analyst and a talented writer. Highly recommended.
April 21, 2026
Bastante sin más
May 2, 2026
Lighten up. You cannot know it all, Stephen.
June 10, 2026
Beautiful, no notes
July 25, 2026
Probably more of a 3.5–it felt like it was trying too hard? Trying to be too deep? Not that it was not, but I think the writing fell short of the concept.
April 30, 2026
Fascinating. I've enjoyed reading both of Grosz's accounts of patients' psycholanalysis with him.
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