This is a book about how you can grow up in a village surrounded by livestock, then move to the city to meet someone who first encountered a real cow at 26.
But it isn’t a book about cows.
It’s about the intricate tapestry of socialization and its impact on our adult selves as lovers.
It might seem like a boy-meets-girl book at first glance but it delves deeper, documenting couple conflicts and tracing them back to their childhood origins.
Within these pages, you'll find 20 intimate stories of real couples recounting their most (in)significant conflicts. The stories reveal how our past shapes us and expose our emotional baggage, they show how our upbringing influences our romantic choices and how we navigate conflict.
In exposing these connections, it offers a chance to see, and maybe laugh at, ourselves.
You will never find me standing in the middle of the room. I’m that guy who stalks the borders of a room. I belong in the darkened embrace of the shadows. The problem with standing in the middle of the room is that you become part of the narrative and there the power to tell the story of that room is perpetually stripped off you.
And so I’m the guy who relishes watching that narrative unspool from those borders of the room. Then capture it in words; the best seat in the room is where there are no seats.
I love music, food, travel, children (even those that don’t belong to me), clothes, cars, gadgets, whiskey and watching someone hula-hoop. There is something defeatist about that thing, like a dog trying to bite its own tail. But more than loving all the aforementioned, I love to write about these things.
However, am I an authority on any of these things? Hardly. But I have an opinion. And I prefer to share it. Let’s agree that you have your own and it might not be compatible with mine, but let’s agree that we can at least be civilised about it. I think the universe demands that of us.
My name is Jackson Biko. I’m a writer with the Business Daily, True Love magazine and The Saturday Nation. I also edit Msafiri Magazine, Safaricom Foundation’s Msingi Magazine and a scattering of other writing jobs that keep writers like me afloat.
Welcome to my world, to my room, but it’s not really mine when you occupy the middle of it, is it?
This book was such a lovely and timely reminder to value my peace😂😂 All jokes aside, Biko always finds such a simple but punchy way with words that is so memorable. I enjoyed this for all the emotions it derived from me, for the depiction of different conflict resolution styles, for the literary triumph it is!🫶🏽👏🏽
Biko at his best. His interviews and storytelling vividly capture the idiosyncrasies and colourful nuances of human relationships, a fun read!! Thanks Maaa for the rec:)
We all were brought up in different home set ups. Some of our experiences shaped how we relate to our friends, spouses and the determine greatly how we show up in relationships. Is it really about what the fight is about at the moment/that very moment? Biko Zulu is a literal genius
I really enjoyed this book. The stories had me laughing so much because honestly, dating is not for the faint-hearted. Every little fight, every awkward moment, every cringe-worthy situation made me nod along because it’s just so real! It’s funny, relatable, and honest in a way that makes you appreciate all the chaos and love in relationships.
This was such an interesting collection of stories where characters lived a charmed life, given a thousand and one days your imagination could not come up with the things that happened. This thing we call love...
You would expect that I came out of this pensive and resolute on how to treat my partner better and to take the road less travelled but no, Biko had mentioned earlier that two of the stories narrated here involve him but have been peppered with misdirections to ensure that you can pinpoint it's him. I spent a lot of time while reading this trying to guess which one could be him. The ones involving Kisumu were obviously not him because too easy, what if I use age related cues that Biko might have forgotten to remove,still unclear...which ones are they then? I would urge interested readers to not fall into this rabbit hole
On a more serious note, the book was an eclectic mix of stories on the fights couples normally have be it the small ones like how one presses the toothpaste bottle to more serious ones like a former love interest calling your partner on your wedding day and what it means when your partner gives them a listening ear and many many more. You could read this in a day but I prefer doing it over a longer period like a week or so to allow characters time to flesh themselves and come to life. Highly recommended.
The book came highly recommended and it didn’t disappoint. It was a quick read, something one can finish in one sitting. I enjoyed the stories. I cringed at some. I was moved by some. The book is a reminder that our childhoods truly have an effect on who we become. And that love is complex because human beings are complex.
This is a book that reminds us that we are all baggage carriers with our butts on a see-saw. Always checking the weight. And, no, it's not about finding a balance, it's about how our fights (the smallest of them all) will always read our weight. On a scale, out aloud.
The short stories are a bit too shallow, the fact that all the characters in the story go by one name makes it even harder to connect with the stories. some of these stories arent even about fights.
Big Little Fights by Jackson Biko was such an easy and enjoyable read. The book flows effortlessly, making it perfect for light reading, yet it still captures very real moments from everyday relationships.
What truly stood out for me was the humour — the book is genuinely funny, clever, and full of wit. Jackson Biko has a way of turning ordinary misunderstandings and small arguments into laugh-out-loud moments that feel painfully familiar. The stories are relatable, honest, and told with so much personality that you can’t help but smile, even when the situations are messy.
I especially loved the way the book presents different stories within the “big little fights.” Each one has its own charm, and it was easy to pick favourites along the way. Some stories stood out more than others, but overall, the collection works because of its consistency in tone and humour.
If you’re looking for a book that doesn’t feel heavy, makes you laugh, and still reflects the realities of relationships, Big Little Fights is definitely worth picking up.
Jackson Biko, what an author! He only needed a novella to deliver mega lessons. I was almost going into a reading slump till I picked up this book, might be the best decision I've made so far this year.
The short stories are both heavy and light. I don't remember reading something so relatable. truly we're all Thorns, oh sorry I mean Ians and Roses.
A Witty, attention capturing, vivid and resplendent book. I'm definitely going to read all his other books.
Another thing, there are hidden gems in terms of hotels and resorts that you can try out by yourself or your loved ones after reading this book.
Oh and Biko, I still want to know how you, or they, broke their leg.
And to my future husband, I'm really sorry in advance because I'm a terrible driver but at least I'm not incorrigible. Hopefully that will save our marriage.
I quite enjoyed the short stories. Some more than others. Some for the fights. Some for the writing. Some because I related to them. Some for their endings. Some because they made me chuckle. Some because they made me reflect.
"I know these are stories about fights and I should get into it. The only problem is we don't fight. We don't fight because we are so different there is nothing to fight about. We are different economically... Intellectually, we are chalk and cheese... So, we don't fight. We don't fight because at what point could our intelligence converge for us to clash? How do you fight when your conversations are banal and non-revelatory? Fighting needs emotional investment, you have to care enough about the other person's viewpoint to fight them over it."
I really enjoyed this collection of short stories on the big little fights couples have at various stages of their relationships. Funny, insightful, and so many lessons to take - the main one being the importance of communication, and knowing when to back down/stand up for yourself and your partner.
Jackson is a hilarious writer, and loved the beginning tidbit on Kangaroos invading Rwanda. That randomness reminded me of Douglas Adams’ - The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. A huge compliment, as that’s my all time favourite fiction book! Also found it funny that all the men were named Ian and women - Rose.
Will definitely be recommending this one to friends!
Big Little Fights is a collection of 20 short stories recounting the small and not so small fights that unfold in romantic relationships. I’ll admit Jackson Biko’s writing is a breath of fresh air. His delivery is stunning; I was cackling from the prologue. He has a sharp, effortless humour that pulls you in immediately. That said, I didn’t enjoy the book as much as I expected to. I think that has more to do with me than the writing, I’m just not the biggest fan of short stories. Still, it’s a refreshing read, filled with deeply relatable moments.
At the end of the day, we’re all just “Roses and Ians, stumbling through life.”
"I once dated a guy who was truly terrible in bed. His actual bed, though? That was a great bed." Big Little Fights by Jackson Biko is a beautifully written collection of short stories that feels both intimate and familiar. Biko has a way of capturing the quiet tensions, humor, and emotional complexity of everyday relationships without overdramatizing them. A compelling, easy read that lingers long after the last page.
Finished reading this one I loved it just like the title the book is about fight people have in a relationship the good one and bad ones. It is a collection of 20 stories some will make your cry but most of them will make you laugh out loud. Here are three favorites 1. The one where spice makes nice 2. The one where God visit him in his hotel room 3. The one at the wedding
Someone tell Biko that I don’t enjoy how he takes ages to publish and when he does, he just gives me 10 pages of bliss. It’s not fair, he needs to be arrested. I loved this book. I’d read it over and over again. Gosh Biko, please give us another one in 2026!
Interesting to read the "petty" and not so petty reasons couples fight, also gets you thinking how your childhood shapes you, especially our parents. Love Biko's writing style.. full of humour and very witty!
It’s an interesting read that entails the beautiful chaos in relationships. A true depiction of how our childhood upbringing manifests in how we relate with others in our adulthood.
Such a fun, light and witty kenyan book. In most ways it shows the nature of our culture and relationship dysfunctions. The banana story lives rent free in my mind.
I enjoyed the short stories. Saw a lot of myself in many of them, reminding me to be a little better in my relationship. I now must read all other Biko books.
Niko’s writing is very captivating. The Ian’s and Roses came alive on the page and each story felt intimate and funny, like these are people in your everyday life.