What do you think?
Rate this book


272 pages, Hardcover
Published November 17, 2025
“My whole life has been a lie. You've used me. You should have let me go a long time ago. Anything would've been better than this. I am not even second best...I am not even on the fucking list.”
“Pain like no other closed around Ronin's throat like a vice. He'd told himself she would never leave; that their fights, her silences, were temporary storms. She had always loved him more than he did her, didn’t she? He had been aware of her infatuation even when he was with Mia (his first love). He had taken her work, her devotion as his due while withholding a little bit of himself. He had hoped they could talk, at least for David's sake, and rebuild what he had broken, but he hadn't believed she'd walk.”
“I would choose you in a thousand lifetimes, but I will spend this one waiting for you to choose me back.
Forever yours, because I am, and always will be, in love with you.”
“I thought it would be best for Mum not for you. Better than being with a liar like you. Instead, she thinks I chose your side. I wanted her to take me with her, not leave me with you. And now she hates me when it's all your fault.”
“I couldn't resist.
It happened nine times over a year ago. Each time, I felt good when I was with her, but afterwards, it was hell. I tried to end it. Once I almost told you, but I realised I didn't want to lose you. The next day, I talked to her, told her we had to stop, and she agreed. But a month later she told me...she told me she was pregnant, that it was mine. That it couldn't be James' (OW’s husband). She said she'd leave him, and I tried to support her through it.”
“He tried to summon Amanda's face in his mind, the way she had looked in those early months. The cheap thrill of it came back first—the shock of excitement when she had unzipped him that very first time and had taken him in her mouth, the rush of forbidden novelty that had clouded his judgment. Or the night she'd pushed him back onto his office couch, stripping off her clothes in a frenzy, like she couldn't bear not having him inside her for a second longer.
At the time, it had made him feel wanted, powerful, and young again. But the thrill never lasted. Seconds, that was all—seconds before it curdled into a hollow nothingness, twisted through with shame.
And worse, he knew what Sage's father had done, how his betrayals had broken her childhood, made her believe love was conditional and fragile. She had trusted Ronin not to be that man, but he was no better. He had become the exact thing she had feared the most.”
He remembered thinking during the early days that he might be in love with Amanda. He had told himself he was, because otherwise, he would have had to admit the truth—that he had thrown away his relationship and everything Sage had given him for moments of distraction.
Even a few days ago, he had clung to the lie that there had been something real in it, some meaning. But when he stripped it bare in the silence of their bedroom with the whisky burning his throat like acid, he couldn't deny it any longer. It had never been love ; it was just empty pleasure, and he had sacrificed the one person who mattered most for an adrenaline rush.”
“Amanda. No wonder she'd reminded him of Mia when he had first seen her. The same fair hair, the same quick, searching eyes. He hadn't wanted to look too closely at why, but he had been a fool. He had been reliving his past in more ways than one.”
“Inside were old letters, neatly folded and tied with a ribbon gone pale with time. They were addressed to him from Mia—his high school sweetheart, who had followed him into university. In their second year, Mia had broken his heart, leaving him for a rugby star on campus.
Back then, she had read every page, the ink a mix of teasing banter, shared memories and declarations so raw they had made her chest ache. There had been photographs too—one of Mia perched on Ronin's lap, both of them mid-laughter, the sort of forever joy captured forever in a moment. There had been other pictures in the box—friends, photos of student parties, fragments of a life before her.
She had asked him about it at the time, and he'd said he'd forgotten the box was even there. He'd offered awkwardly to throw it away, but she'd tried to act cool”
“I was never Ronin's first choice, you know. It was Amanda's sister. He grieved her. I was just the stupid placeholder who stayed for a couple of decades. If you feel foolish, just think of how I feel.”
“I knew you were looking at those old photos, being sad. Don't tell me it was just reminiscing about college days. Let's be honest; you wanted to escape into the past.”
“I told myself it was fate. I'd always thought I'd marry Mia, and I wasn't ready to let go of that dream, despite what she put me through. God, what a fool I was.”
(He said this after he and Sage’s wedding was called off for the first time 😒)
“When Amanda came along—when she pursued me—it was like being twenty again. Like Mia all over again. The irony that she is Mia's sister isn't lost on me. It stroked my ego; I let myself drown in it.”
“He turned, numb, and stumbled back through the door. Hands trembling, the flowers went into the first bin he passed.
He walked. And walked. Hours blurred together until his legs ached, the noise of the city dimming to a fog around him.
This was his new reality. A brutal awakening of what he had brought upon himself with his careless cruelty.
It was all he deserved.”