Two of Me: Notes of Living and Leaving

by Eleanor Coppola

What did I have to lose? I was going to die anyway.
A terrifying, rare cancer diagnosis prompted Eleanor Coppola to confront her role as the matriarch of an accomplished film family and her creative challenges as an artist late in life.
Her new and final book is an honest and revealing posthumous memoir about her struggle to balance her role as a wife and mother and her career as a writer and filmmaker (including the 1979 book Notes: On the making of Apocalypse Now, and the 1991 documentary film Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker’s Apocalypse).
Her story is both heartbreaking and heartwarming, and details the final years of her life over periods of creative growth and resilience despite artistic and physical setbacks.
Featuring an introduction by Sofia Coppola and an afterword by Alice Waters.

Genres: Nonfiction

215 pages, Paperback

Published November 11, 2025

Reviews

[Ashley · Rating 4 out of 5]

I finished my first book of 2026, going in completely blind. Along the way, I was surprised by how much I shared with Ellie—especially being married to a showman artist who’s always in motion, while I’m more content staying home. Her life offered a perspective I didn’t know I needed, and I’m grateful for it.

[Helen Zhang · Rating 4 out of 5]

A window into a POV and a life I didn’t know I would enjoy looking through as much as I did. Eleanor Coppola has a level of awareness and so much heart, as she takes you along with her across her reflections on cancer and her identity as the wife of Francis and a mother - these moments that range from silly to touching, but always intimate.

[Paloma Winter · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such incredible heart and insight ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ rip to a legend - I feel so moved and also understood in a beautiful way. The Coppola women have such an eloquent way of expressing themselves and feeling so fucking grounded in reality

[Phyllis · Rating 4 out of 5]

After reading a few chapters of this memoir written by Eleanor Coppola, I was ready to return it to the library. But I decided to read a few more chapters and soon found myself really enjoying it. This is a short, somewhat “quiet” memoir of Eleanor’s last few years after being diagnosed with a cancerous tumor. The brief chapters include many memories from her journals written throughout her life.

In addition to the descriptions of her family life (raising a family of creative filmmakers, living a life often in deference to her famous movie director husband) she honestly examines her feelings of suppressing her own talents and putting her family first. As the forward says, “She struggled with how to be an artist and a mother and the unexpected role of the wife of such a celebrated film director.”

I was glad she did make time and generated opportunities to explore her own creativity by writing a script/screenplay and producing her own film, as well as sculpting, producing conceptual art, photographs, dance costumes, and always writing.

I felt like I came to know Eleanor through this book, which was part diary, part journal, part exploration and which was foremost “Notes on Living and Leaving.”

[Sherrie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is essentially a very intimate diary of the last few years of Eleanor Coppola's life made up of memories and flashbacks, little vignettes of Hollywood life that were still obligatory for her as Francis Ford Coppola's partner, and lots of meditations about holding on to anger and pain, and how ultimately love and connection and creativity can overcome a lifetime of resentments. If you are seeking showbiz gossip look elsewhere, however she does write (with emotional restraint) about things the public is obviously interested in, especially that question that many ask themselves... "How did she stay married to him?"

This feels like a must-read for women filmmakers, if anything as a reminder of the women of the 60s and 70s who bravely embraced feminism at a time when these concepts were considered extremely radical. Eleanor was documentarian, adept with the hand-held camera, married to one of the most famous filmmakers in the world; she held her own even though it meant a lot of personal pain. There would be no Sofia Coppola without Eleanor, and I do not mean that in a strictly boring biological sense.

[Courtney Kern · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had the privilege of receiving this book last November as part of an A24 event in NYC. We flew up for a quick weekend trip to see a screening of Eleanor Coppola’s 1991 documentary Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker’s Apocalypse, introduced by her daughter, Sofia Coppola. After the film, Sofia spoke about her mother in an interview, and everyone in attendance received a copy of this book, a posthumously released collection of Eleanor’s journal entries.

I really appreciated the chance to get to know more of Eleanor’s deeply personal reflections. As one of the lesser-known members of the Coppola family, she comes across here as a quiet but essential backbone to it all. She’s candid about her resentment toward certain life choices and the timing of her upbringing, particularly when it comes to the freedoms and opportunities that later generations of women would have more access to.

This isn’t the first of her “notes” books to be published, but it’s the first one I’ve read. One of the earlier volumes informed much of Hearts of Darkness, so after this glimpse into her voice and perspective, I’ll likely seek out another one as well.

[Christian Maric · Rating 3 out of 5]

Eleanor Coppola has many insightful, beautiful reflections about family and the disadvantages she faced in her career and personal life due to sexism. She also has a lot of cringey, privileged passages where she bemoans spending covid in her Napa mansion with 30 family members in her bubble, or decries the critical failure of her debut narrative movie despite admitting to not adequately preparing or even knowing what her responsibilities were on set. It is also agonizing to read her mistrust of western medicine and dependence on alternative remedial routes to treat her cancer, which eventually led to her passing.

[Annie Glover · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a treasure. What started as a collection of essays ended up leaving me in tears as I finished the book. What a beautiful and honest read. I had spent so many pages with Eleanor that when it came to the part of her passing, I felt like I was losing a friend.

I particularly enjoyed her honesty regarding what it is to be a mother, wife, and artist. Her honest confessions about where she fit in with this talented family of hers. In the end, she harnesses what we all hope to conclude about life and we can benefit greatly from her wisdom. I miss you already, Eleanor.

[Patrick Sars · Rating 4 out of 5]

honest & introspective!

[Josh Kahn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Weirdly beautiful.

[IsabelC · Rating 4 out of 5]

a saint