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Unspeakable Things: Silence, Shame, and the Stories We Choose to Believe
A powerful and personal examination of our most persistent and dangerous misunderstandings, myths and stereotypes about sexual harassment and assault.
In 2017, Brooke Nevils made a confidential HR complaint about one of the most powerful and familiar faces in media. Twenty-four hours later, the highest paid morning news anchor in history was fired, stunning millions of Americans in one of the MeToo era’s defining stories. Demanding answers—and the intimate details of the most personal and painful humiliation of her life—the press soon discovered her identity.
But hers was not the kind of black-and-white story the media knew how to tell. There’d been no explicit threats. She hadn’t screamed, fought or gone to the police. Instead, she returned to her abuser again and again in a frantic attempt to “fix” an impossible situation that threatened her livelihood and the people closest to her. Yet as MeToo unfolded, Brooke learned that messy stories like hers were far from the exception, and that nearly everything she’d believed about sexual harassment and assault—and how victims react to it—was wrong. She began a years-long effort to confront and understand her own experience, not simply as a woman reckoning with her past, but as a journalist confronting the critical questions that MeToo asked but ultimately left unanswered.
Through groundbreaking interviews with leading clinicians, forensic professionals, attorneys and frontline researchers, Unspeakable Things challenges our understanding of consent, power, and the lingering, often misunderstood effects of trauma and shame. Despite its rarefied setting at the height of fame, power and American media, Brooke’s story serves as a textbook example of an all-too-common scenario that continues to devastate lives and enable abusers. This book is a powerful re-examination of everything we think we know, the start to a new conversation and—for anyone who has ever felt ashamed, hopeless, alone and afraid—a light in the dark.
In 2017, Brooke Nevils made a confidential HR complaint about one of the most powerful and familiar faces in media. Twenty-four hours later, the highest paid morning news anchor in history was fired, stunning millions of Americans in one of the MeToo era’s defining stories. Demanding answers—and the intimate details of the most personal and painful humiliation of her life—the press soon discovered her identity.
But hers was not the kind of black-and-white story the media knew how to tell. There’d been no explicit threats. She hadn’t screamed, fought or gone to the police. Instead, she returned to her abuser again and again in a frantic attempt to “fix” an impossible situation that threatened her livelihood and the people closest to her. Yet as MeToo unfolded, Brooke learned that messy stories like hers were far from the exception, and that nearly everything she’d believed about sexual harassment and assault—and how victims react to it—was wrong. She began a years-long effort to confront and understand her own experience, not simply as a woman reckoning with her past, but as a journalist confronting the critical questions that MeToo asked but ultimately left unanswered.
Through groundbreaking interviews with leading clinicians, forensic professionals, attorneys and frontline researchers, Unspeakable Things challenges our understanding of consent, power, and the lingering, often misunderstood effects of trauma and shame. Despite its rarefied setting at the height of fame, power and American media, Brooke’s story serves as a textbook example of an all-too-common scenario that continues to devastate lives and enable abusers. This book is a powerful re-examination of everything we think we know, the start to a new conversation and—for anyone who has ever felt ashamed, hopeless, alone and afraid—a light in the dark.
411 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 3, 2026
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 102 reviews
February 4, 2026
Dear Matt Lauer,
I hope you spend your remaining years paralyzed by shame and an overwhelming sense of self pity and regret for your actions. I hope your 3 children read this book and recoil in disgust from it. I hope someday men like you no longer exist.
Sincerely,
Audiobook Listener
I hope you spend your remaining years paralyzed by shame and an overwhelming sense of self pity and regret for your actions. I hope your 3 children read this book and recoil in disgust from it. I hope someday men like you no longer exist.
Sincerely,
Audiobook Listener
February 7, 2026
Rare is a 5 star rating from me. This memoir deserved it, brave, authentic, informative, well researched. I highly recommend.
February 8, 2026
So much to take away from this book. First, if you have a daughter, do yourself a favor and read this. What happened to Brooke Nevils is not the entirety of this book. It is more about understanding what sexual assault and sexual harassment are and how that trauma is life long. It is rarely "textbook rape". You always want to say "why didn't they just leave?", "why didn't they report it sooner?". It is so easy for us to judge until you are in that situation yourself. Second, rich and powerful men that take advantage of any "weaker" female - whether it be a news anchor, coach, teacher, business owner, actor - whoever, I really hope there is a hot place in hell for these people. It is hard not to grow my rage when reading books like this when Epstein is in the news almost daily.
Third, these are some quotes that had the biggest impact on me:
1)"Why should the own-ness be on women to navigate men's advances, and not on men to stop making them?" - because "boys will be boys", right? Are we just to excuse these men because they cannot control their impulses? The entitlement of these powerful men is maddening. (And, honestly - its not always powerful men).
2) "Again and again Matt's argument isn't an assertion of innocence, but a deflection of blame".
3) "Anyone who chooses to hold a position of power is accountable for not abusing those who have less power. Period. Desire and attraction have nothing to do with it. As it stands today, we leave victims alone and ashamed."
Highly recommend.
Third, these are some quotes that had the biggest impact on me:
1)"Why should the own-ness be on women to navigate men's advances, and not on men to stop making them?" - because "boys will be boys", right? Are we just to excuse these men because they cannot control their impulses? The entitlement of these powerful men is maddening. (And, honestly - its not always powerful men).
2) "Again and again Matt's argument isn't an assertion of innocence, but a deflection of blame".
3) "Anyone who chooses to hold a position of power is accountable for not abusing those who have less power. Period. Desire and attraction have nothing to do with it. As it stands today, we leave victims alone and ashamed."
Highly recommend.
February 12, 2026
I think this is an important book to read. It covers the topic of consent and how it’s not as black and white as we might think. It made me question my own thoughts on the definition of sexual assault.
I wish she had focused more on her story and less on all of the legal/scientific aspects. Some is important but there was a bit too much in my opinion.
I wish she had focused more on her story and less on all of the legal/scientific aspects. Some is important but there was a bit too much in my opinion.
March 8, 2026
So well-done. This could've easily been a straightforward memoir about the author's allegations against a celebrity (NBC "Today" host Matt Lauer) — I've certainly read enough of those: a little biography, the warning signs, the assault, the aftermath, the hopeful epilogue.
This is so much better. The author reports on her own case as a journalist would. She publishes Lauer's 4,000-word takedown of her allegations in full. She interviews the expert who testified for the defense in the cases of Harvey Weinstein, Ghislaine Maxwell, Bill Cosby and Jerry Sandusky about the unreliability of traumatic memories.
She seems to always keep her audience in mind: She's writing to her younger self and all women in the workplace who must deal with a superstar performer whose power the employer and her colleagues depend upon. She examines every argument she's had thrown at her, usually finding an expert to talk through the angles. She is open and unflinching about her own actions.
And there's a brief but heart-wrenching passage in the epilogue when she writes about her father who has memory loss and must learn over and over for seemingly the first time about her alleged sexual assault by Lauer.
I use the word "alleged" because Lauer was never convicted but consider the facts stipulated by both sides: He's a $25 million a year celebrity journalist covering the Olympics in Russia; she's a $30,000-a-year assistant. He buys her round after round of vodka shots, asks her to come to his hotel room and then sodomizes her, covering the bed in blood. He says consensual; she says she said no repeatedly and finally relented to get out of the room.
At this point, the book delves into all the myths that surround rape and how "common sense" actions by victims are not the norm. She discusses other high-profile cases that she or Lauer worked on at NBC such as Elizabeth Smart and Bill O'Reilly. She delves into the defense arguments and testimony of prosecution witnesses in the Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby and Brock Turner cases.
I found the whole thing interesting and I learned some things, like how police interviews often conclude the victim isn't credible because she doesn't remember details like the color of the carpeting in the room where she was attacked. (She has an expert explain how trauma victims focus on more important things, generally related to their own survival.) I also think the book will help anyone who's been victimized by a powerful person by explaining the different, very common reactions of people in their shoes in a way that will dispel at least some self-doubt and self-loathing.
This is not a plucky, inspiring self-help book, though. This is tough, thoughtful journalism.
Some excerpts:
* After mentioning how Weinstein endowed a faculty chair at Rutgers in Gloria Steinem's name: When the abuser has taken great pains to make sure they are seen as a good and trustworthy person, the onus then falls on the victim to convince the world otherwise. This is a built-in advantage for the abuser that most victims can never overcome, adding to their confusion and isolation in the aftermath of the abuse.
* In a formal study of fifty offenders in her program, Valliere found that in 83 percent of cases, the people close to the offenders believed in their innocence, even when the offenders confessed or were caught in the act.
* To the media, I was either a coward if I chose to stay silent or an opportunist if I chose to speak for myself.
Even the acknowledgments are worth reading. In it, she mentions having coffee with someone who'd suffered abuse as a child. That person told her: At least the person you reported is famous, otherwise no one would care what happened to you.
Damn.
This is so much better. The author reports on her own case as a journalist would. She publishes Lauer's 4,000-word takedown of her allegations in full. She interviews the expert who testified for the defense in the cases of Harvey Weinstein, Ghislaine Maxwell, Bill Cosby and Jerry Sandusky about the unreliability of traumatic memories.
She seems to always keep her audience in mind: She's writing to her younger self and all women in the workplace who must deal with a superstar performer whose power the employer and her colleagues depend upon. She examines every argument she's had thrown at her, usually finding an expert to talk through the angles. She is open and unflinching about her own actions.
And there's a brief but heart-wrenching passage in the epilogue when she writes about her father who has memory loss and must learn over and over for seemingly the first time about her alleged sexual assault by Lauer.
I use the word "alleged" because Lauer was never convicted but consider the facts stipulated by both sides: He's a $25 million a year celebrity journalist covering the Olympics in Russia; she's a $30,000-a-year assistant. He buys her round after round of vodka shots, asks her to come to his hotel room and then sodomizes her, covering the bed in blood. He says consensual; she says she said no repeatedly and finally relented to get out of the room.
At this point, the book delves into all the myths that surround rape and how "common sense" actions by victims are not the norm. She discusses other high-profile cases that she or Lauer worked on at NBC such as Elizabeth Smart and Bill O'Reilly. She delves into the defense arguments and testimony of prosecution witnesses in the Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby and Brock Turner cases.
I found the whole thing interesting and I learned some things, like how police interviews often conclude the victim isn't credible because she doesn't remember details like the color of the carpeting in the room where she was attacked. (She has an expert explain how trauma victims focus on more important things, generally related to their own survival.) I also think the book will help anyone who's been victimized by a powerful person by explaining the different, very common reactions of people in their shoes in a way that will dispel at least some self-doubt and self-loathing.
This is not a plucky, inspiring self-help book, though. This is tough, thoughtful journalism.
Some excerpts:
* After mentioning how Weinstein endowed a faculty chair at Rutgers in Gloria Steinem's name: When the abuser has taken great pains to make sure they are seen as a good and trustworthy person, the onus then falls on the victim to convince the world otherwise. This is a built-in advantage for the abuser that most victims can never overcome, adding to their confusion and isolation in the aftermath of the abuse.
* In a formal study of fifty offenders in her program, Valliere found that in 83 percent of cases, the people close to the offenders believed in their innocence, even when the offenders confessed or were caught in the act.
* To the media, I was either a coward if I chose to stay silent or an opportunist if I chose to speak for myself.
Even the acknowledgments are worth reading. In it, she mentions having coffee with someone who'd suffered abuse as a child. That person told her: At least the person you reported is famous, otherwise no one would care what happened to you.
Damn.
Read
February 10, 2026I don’t know how to rate this one. It’s very well written and has important messages. However, halfway through reading I learned that the author is married to a political consultant who helped Trump get re-elected (you may recognize Trump from the Epstein Files or famously “grabbing women by the p*****). The author being okay with that makes her messaging on sexual assault (aside from her own experiences, I have no place to judge those accounts) feel ignorant or inauthentic or both.
February 5, 2026
Extremely tough but important read.
February 17, 2026
I am thankful for her courage to report and then share her story as difficult as that must have been (and will always be). The research from psychological experts provided depth and insight into the complexity of these issues. My only critique of the book was more around organization and the need for some editing to tighten up some redundancy. It could have been about half the length and still made all the same important points.
April 20, 2026
13.39 hours on Audible. Shocking but excellent read.
March 25, 2026
My biggest takeaway from this book is that Matt Lauer is the biggest jerk (as if I didn’t know that already).
May 3, 2026
This is not an easy book to read. It is graphic, brutal, sometimes shocking, but also really thought provoking. If you have ever wondered why women, especially young women, fail to come forward and report sexual abuse, you should read this book. If you are a young woman in college or just entering the workforce, you should read this book. If you know anyone that fits into one of those categories, you should read this book. The author doesn’t shy away from her own mistakes, and there is a lot to learn from them. We really need to figure out a way to normalize coming forward. I am not saying automatically believe every accusation, but every accusation needs to be thoroughly investigated and acted upon. In many of these situations, there is a huge power imbalance between the perpetrator and the victim, and a reluctance to kill the golden goose. There is a cost to coming forward that few people consider. AS the author explained, “to claim to be a victim of sexual assault is unfortunately to invite a lifetime of suspicion and disbelief. It is to lose countless relationships, and pay a terrible price. And I can tell you, years after being outed in the press, that walking through the world knowing that a substantial portion of it will always see you as a liar, takes a strange and exacting toll. You come to expect constant and automatic disbelief, even in the most mundane parts of life.” We really need to flip that narrative.
May 13, 2026
Combination of audio (Libby) and physical (hardcover, owned). I dare you to read the introduction to this book and NOT feel compelled to read the rest. The author's voice is thoughtful, genuinely invested in trying to understand how the narratives we tell ourselves can be both truthful and misleading. Her journalistic instincts are what make this book so valuable for our present time. She asks the reader to consider their own biases, shares example after example of how victims of sexual assault struggle to not only understand what happened to them but how to convince others that the assault was not their fault.
This is not a story of "what Matt Lauer did to me"-- that's not a story I'm interested in, quite frankly. This is an investigation into the stories we tell ourselves. Filled with interviews and research, I could not devour this book fast enough. The subject matter is difficult, and it will make you a bit ragey, but it will also fill you with a sense of determination to help others see the world with more perspective.
I really don't understand why this book isn't being talked about more. It makes me wonder if there's some unspoken pact amongst media outlets to not promote a book by the woman who got Matt Lauer fired. It is definitely going to be one of my top reads in 2026. I want everyone to read this book.
This is not a story of "what Matt Lauer did to me"-- that's not a story I'm interested in, quite frankly. This is an investigation into the stories we tell ourselves. Filled with interviews and research, I could not devour this book fast enough. The subject matter is difficult, and it will make you a bit ragey, but it will also fill you with a sense of determination to help others see the world with more perspective.
I really don't understand why this book isn't being talked about more. It makes me wonder if there's some unspoken pact amongst media outlets to not promote a book by the woman who got Matt Lauer fired. It is definitely going to be one of my top reads in 2026. I want everyone to read this book.
March 17, 2026
This book prompted profound moments of clarity and understanding. I listened to the audio book and lost track of the times I rewound to hear something again. Some parts explained actions and behaviors I didn't know were textbook. I bought 2 copies to give to women I love.
April 2, 2026
I hope this book finally silences every single asshole who thinks Matt Lauer was treated unfairly and deserves to have a career in journalism again.
March 5, 2026
This book made me reflect on how often people in power abuse those below them. This young woman was sexually harassed by Matt Lauer. She suffered in silence for years. Even when she spoke out she still suffered. Victims are often not believed. Trauma can often destroy someone if they don’t seek help and support.
Power goes to some peoples heads and they don’t care who they hurt.
Power goes to some peoples heads and they don’t care who they hurt.
February 11, 2026
What bothered me most about this story (at the time) was how news journalists everywhere were exploiting the author for sensationalism. It was most certainly a very traumatizing experience for this woman.
What was evident at the time Lauer was finally being exposed, was how no one seemed to care about Nevils' career. A bunch of people tossed money at her and talked about the bad, bad men but what about her career? She was forced to give up her dreams and goals and change job industries. Why? Not a single hero stepped up and said "Hey Brooke, this wasn't something you should have experienced. Let's make it up to you by helping you achieve the goals you had when you first entered broadcasting." No one helped her. That industry is filled with a lot of sick individuals, 99% of the sickos are men suffering from delusions of grandeur.
What was evident at the time Lauer was finally being exposed, was how no one seemed to care about Nevils' career. A bunch of people tossed money at her and talked about the bad, bad men but what about her career? She was forced to give up her dreams and goals and change job industries. Why? Not a single hero stepped up and said "Hey Brooke, this wasn't something you should have experienced. Let's make it up to you by helping you achieve the goals you had when you first entered broadcasting." No one helped her. That industry is filled with a lot of sick individuals, 99% of the sickos are men suffering from delusions of grandeur.
February 7, 2026
I am inspired by Brooke’s complete commitment to sharing a painful and highly personal story with the world. Matt counted on her silence and she did something exceptional by shattering it. I’m not crazy about books where theory is integrated into a memoir. I skipped around most of that and stuck with her story. Both of her parents would be so proud of her. She has absolutely nothing to be ashamed about and everything to share to help others who have been through similar experiences. I have nothing but admiration for her. She may have been a convenience to him at the time, but now she is of great inconvenience to Matt to the delight of all of us reading it. Way to go, Brooke! Enjoy your hard-won beautiful life and thank you.
April 2, 2026
I have specific criteria for giving a book five stars. It has to be more than just engaging and compelling while I’m reading — it also has to stay with me, popping into my thoughts even when I’m not reading. It must offer some new knowledge, information, or perspective I hadn’t considered before. And most importantly, it has to contribute something positive or healing to the world in a broader sense, leaving the world a little better than it found it. This book met every single one of those standards beautifully.
Despite the title, this is not just a big, sad, awful story. It’s a story of inspiration, bravery, and speaking truth to power in the most important way — a true David and Goliath tale. I felt deep sadness for the author’s suffering, yet immense admiration for her incredible courage. I’m so grateful she was willing to share her experience with such honesty and vulnerability.
Her story is powerful, thought-provoking, and ultimately uplifting. It’s one I’ll be thinking about for a long time. Highly recommended.
Despite the title, this is not just a big, sad, awful story. It’s a story of inspiration, bravery, and speaking truth to power in the most important way — a true David and Goliath tale. I felt deep sadness for the author’s suffering, yet immense admiration for her incredible courage. I’m so grateful she was willing to share her experience with such honesty and vulnerability.
Her story is powerful, thought-provoking, and ultimately uplifting. It’s one I’ll be thinking about for a long time. Highly recommended.
February 23, 2026
Brooke Nevils has such a sharp style of reporting, I am so thankful for her words. I appreciate her footnotes, this for me is a reference guide and I am recommending it to everyone. I am looking forward to more books by her!
February 26, 2026
Listened - 4.5. This book is not only a memoir, but also extremely educational. If you read Catch and Kill, or Know My Name, this book is for you. And if you haven’t read those, then all three of these books are for you.
March 3, 2026
Truthfully I bought this book for more gossipy reasons. What happened between Brooke and Matt? I quickly realized that this was far more than a “tell-all”. It was educational but in a relatable manner. It was well worth the read and makes you rethink everything you thought you knew.
April 24, 2026
Brooke’s story is so clear, articulate, & well researched. Thank you 🫶🏻
April 26, 2026
This deserves more than 5 stars. Read this book
February 10, 2026
This book is a wealth of information and it is a personal story. Also, it brought me rage.
April 7, 2026
If you've ever had any confusion around sexual assault or struggled to understand how anyone could have an ongoing relationship with someone who raped them, this book is so informative and so easy to relate to. Much needed
February 5, 2026
Everyone should read this so everyone is better about understanding and talking about sexual assault and sexual harassment. The less gray areas there are, the less space for predators to operate in.
March 11, 2026
Important topic and the author does an excellent job explaining how men abuse their power and manipulate women. However, there were many times the author got bogged down in the legalities and too many statistics and failed to keep my focus or attention.
February 24, 2026
This was an excruciating and sad book to read (technically to listen to). The story of the author's sexual assault is horrible in itself, and the aftermath tragic, though she emerges from her pain stronger and more resilient. Clearly her goal was never to get Matt Lauer fired, but she will be forever blamed for this. She should not be blamed, as it behooved a man with Lauer's standing to act appropriately, respectfully, and professionally, especially with an underling, which she clearly was, despite his protestations about whether she technically worked for the Today Show, a ridiculous argument. Plying a younger colleague (again an underling) with vodka shots and asking her to his hotel room? Clearly inappropriate. But the most ludicrous statement of all about their "encounter" was when he said she was an enthusiastic participant. Having non-vaginal interscourse without any lubrication to the point of bleeding profusely is not something anyone would be enthusiastic about. Labeling a date rape and several other sexual encounters as an "affair" was equally ludicrous; an affair would involve affection, sharing meals and conversations, showing some semblance of actually caring what the other person was feeling, none of which was part of their situation.
Nevils clearly wanted to teach other women about sexual assault, and the psychological damage and permutations of women's sometimes unexpected and even counterintuitive reactions was indeed educational. Why a victim would "go back for more" mistreatment made perfect sense when it was explained that victims often want to normalize a date rape situation, to feel in control, or perhaps to respond differently the next time. The sections on memory, while complicated, made perfect sense too, and Nevils' conclusion that two people can remember the same situation differently was generous, though she may not have intended that. However, the many studies cited, the quotes from numerous experts, and the academic explanations of human behavior became tedious and repetitive. I was eager for the book to end despite my sympathy for the author.
I wish I could tell the author that many of us believed her immediately, (not even knowing who she was, but hearing the allegations, which were not hers alone). The egregious breaking of professional boundaries in the workplace was enough, not even knowing the details. Millions of people didn't question her, though it clearly didn't seem that way to her at the time. Having never read Ronan Farrow's article or book, not seeing any New York tabloids, millions of us simply wondered at the time how Lauer could get away with such grossly inappropriate behavior in the workplace for such a long time. And as for the NBC hosts and co-anchorswho praised him to the skies and were heartbroken, to learn of his firing, they should have realized people can have two faces.
I wish the author peace.
Nevils clearly wanted to teach other women about sexual assault, and the psychological damage and permutations of women's sometimes unexpected and even counterintuitive reactions was indeed educational. Why a victim would "go back for more" mistreatment made perfect sense when it was explained that victims often want to normalize a date rape situation, to feel in control, or perhaps to respond differently the next time. The sections on memory, while complicated, made perfect sense too, and Nevils' conclusion that two people can remember the same situation differently was generous, though she may not have intended that. However, the many studies cited, the quotes from numerous experts, and the academic explanations of human behavior became tedious and repetitive. I was eager for the book to end despite my sympathy for the author.
I wish I could tell the author that many of us believed her immediately, (not even knowing who she was, but hearing the allegations, which were not hers alone). The egregious breaking of professional boundaries in the workplace was enough, not even knowing the details. Millions of people didn't question her, though it clearly didn't seem that way to her at the time. Having never read Ronan Farrow's article or book, not seeing any New York tabloids, millions of us simply wondered at the time how Lauer could get away with such grossly inappropriate behavior in the workplace for such a long time. And as for the NBC hosts and co-anchorswho praised him to the skies and were heartbroken, to learn of his firing, they should have realized people can have two faces.
I wish the author peace.
February 11, 2026
I’m a survivor of sexual assault. It was brutally difficult reading this book. I didn’t just read it once. I read and studied large chunks of it over and over again. As someone who has endured very similar types of sexual assault, my BS meter for testing the veracity of a survivor’s story is calibrated differently than that of the average book reviewer. I look for clear and undeniable hallmarks of sexual trauma in writing. Those indicators can be messy and confusing. I experienced PTSD and uninvited recall while reading this, having to put the book down dozens of times. I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to finish it. The research, documentation, and interviews Ms. Nevils offers are thorough and meticulous. I had to carefully discern confirmation bias from her heartbreaking truth. For other survivors reading her book, what gave me moments to breathe was her strategic weaving of interviews and research throughout the fabric of her experience; a fabric ripped and torn throughout. Her impeccable journalistic integrity makes every attempt to examine the most widely accepted, peer-reviewed research by sexual trauma experts. The information she provides about the impact of alcohol on trauma recall in the final chapters is worth the price of the book. To accuse her of seeking a payday completely ignores the reality that no amount of money can make one forget sexual trauma. It can’t buy peace or repair the horrific damage to one’s psyche. It’s a very temporary bandaid. All survivors know this. She managed to somehow record her account while struggling with the loss of her career and the unbearable loss of both parents five years apart. No, it’s not a perfectly written memoir. And while parts of it seem irreconcilable, survivors understand why we try repeatedly to make damaged puzzle pieces fit a perfect picture that no longer exists. Her details are unbearably raw, jagged, and often self-deprecating. She’s not writing what you want to hear. She’s managed to somehow record what screams sound like in print. Hers is an extremely concise dissection of an industry, like countless others, where subordinates are routinely exploited by a hierarchy of tiered power differentials and all the ensuing abuses. Been there. I have nothing to offer Mr. Lauer here. NBC made their decision. What occurred between Mr. Lauer and Ms. Nevils is only known and understood by them alone. I judge neither. Both have experienced unimaginable suffering. I’m simply stating that I recognize all of the markers of sexual trauma in her narrative. It’s enough. From one sexual assault survivor to another, thank you for your bravery, determination, and the untold agony you endured sharing this “cautionary tale.“
April 14, 2026
Brooke Nevils has written an incredibly important book. By sharing the truth of her experience with Matt Lauer during his time as anchor of the Today Show she completely shifted my perspective on what she endured and how blame was apportioned. Nevils understands from the outset that she is not an ideal accuser of sexual assault, and she seemingly makes no effort to rewrite her own history to make herself seem more "innocent". She makes it clear that on the night of her sexual assault she drank to excess and willingly went to Matt Lauer's room when they were both working at the Winter Olympics in Sochi. She shares that later she went to his apartment when they were back in New York. And yet what she makes devastatingly clear is that both the imbalance of power between her and Lauer and her years of working in a culture in which no one ever denied star anchors anything at all created an environment where she slipped into some liminal space in which consent was never hers to give.
From the outside looking in perhaps she didn't behave the way we would expect a survivor of sexual assault to behave. And yet as she picks up the pieces of her life in the weeks, months, and years following Sochi she makes it clear that the devastating blend of shame and fear that compelled her actions is painfully similar to so many other survivors of sexual assault. As she learns more about those behaviors she not only teaches her readers to look at such crimes in a new way, she finds a way to forgive herself.
I'm so disgusted by how Matt Lauer treated Brooke Nevils. I'm so grateful that she found her footing after losing her anonymity and walking away from a career she loved because of Lauer's actions. I'm inspired by her desire to help others who might have suffered in similar ways or failed to understand the magnitude of what sexual assault costs its victims.
I thought at times that the clinical insights of the book got a little repetitive, but on the whole I found her story engaging from start to finish. I heartily recommend her book.
From the outside looking in perhaps she didn't behave the way we would expect a survivor of sexual assault to behave. And yet as she picks up the pieces of her life in the weeks, months, and years following Sochi she makes it clear that the devastating blend of shame and fear that compelled her actions is painfully similar to so many other survivors of sexual assault. As she learns more about those behaviors she not only teaches her readers to look at such crimes in a new way, she finds a way to forgive herself.
I'm so disgusted by how Matt Lauer treated Brooke Nevils. I'm so grateful that she found her footing after losing her anonymity and walking away from a career she loved because of Lauer's actions. I'm inspired by her desire to help others who might have suffered in similar ways or failed to understand the magnitude of what sexual assault costs its victims.
I thought at times that the clinical insights of the book got a little repetitive, but on the whole I found her story engaging from start to finish. I heartily recommend her book.
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