Black Knight - Fekete lovag

Royal Elite #4

by Rina Kent, Melinda Farkas (Translator)

A szerelem kizárt. A gyűlölet nyitott játék.

Kimberly

Egykor a legjobb barátom volt, ma a legkönyörtelenebb ellenségem.
Xander Knight szívettépően gyönyörű.
Képtelenül népszerű.
Brutálisan kegyetlen.
Lovag, de nem ment meg senkit.

Xander

Álomszerűen kezdődött, de rémálom lett belőle.
Kimberly Reed szánalmasan hamis.
Iszonyatosan ártatlan.
Titkon fekete.
Elbújhat, de előlem soha.

Genres: Dark Romance, Romance, Enemies To Lovers, Dark, High School, New Adult, Friends To Lovers

351 pages, Paperback

First published May 18, 2020

About the author

Rina Kent is a New York Times, USA Today, and #1 bestselling author of all things dark romance.
Better known for writing unapologetic anti-heroes and villains, Rina weaves tales of characters you shouldn’t fall for but inevitably do. Her stories are laced with a touch of darkness, a splash of angst, and just the right amount of unhealthy intensity.
When she’s not busy plotting mayhem for her ever-expanding Rinaverse, she leads a private life in London, travels, and pampers her cats in true Cat Lady fashion.


You can find her below:

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Reviews

[mel ☽ · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 stars ✧

first of all, just wanted to say that before you plan on reading this, please keep in mind that this book deals with:

« depression, suicidal thoughts, fat-shaming, eating disorder (bulimia), emotional abuse from a parent, bullying, suicide attempt, and alcohol addiction »

.
the chapter that y'all would have to look out for is chapter 19. also, the author mentions these triggers right at the beginning and i APPRECIATE that.

since book 1, i've wanted to know what the hell is up with Kim and Xander. why is he such an asshole to her? why did he stop being friends with her, ignored her, and let others bully her??

I NEEDED TO KNOW cuz these two were driving me insane, especially Xander with all his pushing and pulling and the whole "my mind says no but my body says YES", and the "i hate you but i highkey love you" thing he does.

so a little backstory, Kim (h) is the best friend of Elsa and she's the shy girl who used to get bullied. we also know that her ex best friend, Xander (H), is one of the "Four Horsemen" aka the popular, rich and entitled assholes in Royal Elite School. we don't know what happened between them and why Xander all of sudden cut her off of his life when they were 11 years old. this book starts i think right after the third book (sorry! im not too sure about the timeline but it's still the same year as the first 3 books since they're still seniors) and this can also be read as a standalone.

— Kimberly Reed (h)

"I flip off those who slowly broke me, who turned me into this pathetic shell of a person. Those who took pleasure in igniting my breaking point and watched me as I fell. Those who threw me under the bus instead of pulling me to safety. Those who fed the fog and allowed it to rule my life."

first of all, i NEVER knew that she was going through what she's going through. all of her inner monologue about the "fog" taking over her mind actually made me shed a few tears cuz she was all alone and no one knew what she was feeling. what's also heartbreaking is the fact that she wants to get help and wants to change but people keep bringing her down (her mom and Xander) that i wanted to give Kim a hug.

her relationship with her little brother, Kir, was my favorite part of this book cuz they were adorable! every time Kir shows up, i just aww all the time cuz this cute little human deserves to be aww'ed. also, can we talk about how she loves K-drama and how fast she falls in love with fictional characters?? cuz same.

— Xander Knight (H)

"My knight, she used to call me. Now, I'm a rusty one without armour or a sword. I abandoned being her knight to become War."

ok i actually hated this dude in the beginning. he was mean to my girl and i was having none of it. he kept getting her hopes up but then becomes his asshole self again which then hurts Kim A LOT especially since she's already vulnerable. it was annoying and i was like

did i like him? ehh i feel like he should've done more grovelling. did i like him more than Aiden? ehh it's not him, it's me. i guess i have a thing for heartless assholes who's a jerk to everyone except the heroine. one thing i liked about Xander is that he is a NOT a ho. I REPEAT. he is NOT a ho. he is a (spoiler)

i just thought this was an ok book. even though i shed a few tears when it came to Kim, i didn't have the overwhelming emotions that i usually feel with the dark subjects that are presented here. i guess it was how it was written and all.

also, i just wish that once Kim and Xander became a couple, there were more scenes of them WITHOUT doing sexual things and instead emotionally connect. plus, after she forgave him, there were time jumps and their cute couple moments were mostly told and not shown. i needed more sentimental moments considering their history AND considering that Xander was literally one of the reasons why Kim hurts herself. all in all, by the end of the book, i had the feeling of wanting more, so i wasn't satisfied with some aspects of the book.

there was A LOT going on here. there's like drama after drama that at times, it feels like it was thrown in which resulted in the drama to be OTP sometimes. this is especially apparent when it came to the family drama and the reason why Xander stopped talking to Kim.

also, for those who want to know (SPOILERS), we were told from book 1 that Xander is apparently a "ho" but he's really not. there's 1 OW scene where he walks in the class with a girl in his arm, her lipstick smudged on his lips and heroine sees this. there are more OM drama here tho where Ronan (H's friend) makes Xander jealous cuz he flirts with Kim and goes on a date with her.

one thing i did appreciate here is the fact that the MCs actually wanted to seek out professional help because they know they need it and don't ridicule or ignore the concept of therapy unlike other books *cough* hades hangmen series *cough* (i still love that series tho! but the Cursed really needed professional help).

so basically, this book is a combination of broken knight, ruthless knight, and bully, so if you like these, y'all should try this but again, keep in mind the triggers people!!

ARC provided

[Val ⚓️ Shameless Handmaiden ⚓️ · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 Stars

This book (and series in general) is over the top with immature drama and overall ridiculousness. High school characters, with little to no actual adult supervision (par for the YA/NA romance novel course, obviously) act and get treated more like 30-somethings than teenagers.

Also, this book especially included a lot of triggers topics and scenarios that were handled in potentially problematic ways.

And yet...



I can't stop eating it, you guys.



And I can't stop, won't stop.

[veerali · Rating 1 out of 5]

kimberly is way too fabulous for this nonsense.

[Ꮗ€♫◗☿ ❤️ ilikebooksbest.com ❤️ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not at all what I expected from Xander and Kim!



I have been waiting for Xander and Kim’s story since Deviant King when Elsa befriended Kim on her first day of school at Royal Elite. Elsa saw a kindred soul in Kim, someone who was doing her best not to be noticed and was lonely like her. Though Elsa was targeted by Aiden and the rest of the four horsemen (the Kings of the school and the team’s football heros). It soon became apparent that Kimberly used to be in with those people but something occurred to change things and now she was hated at the school and Xander Knight who lives across the street from her was her main bully.

Once Elsa began dating Aiden, Kim was sort of accepted into their group, in that Elsa insisted Kimberly come with wherever she was invited. So Kim started attending Ronan’s parties, as well as the weekly football games where they all get together in the theatre room in Aiden’s house to watch his cousin’s pro team play on the big screen.

Ronan accepted Kim and was friendly to her but Xander wouldn’t talk to her unless it was to say something mean and it seemed that she would never be forgiven for what she did seven years ago. I wondered throughout the last few books what it was that Kim could have done that was so bad. I am not sure if I was disappointed or not in this book and the revelations.

There was a lot more angst in this book than I expected and I didn’t really like that too much. Both Xander and Kim are very broken and it isn’t because of what Kim did when they were eleven. Both of them have awful parents that have really messed with their minds. Kim is basically a mother to her younger brother because her Mother can’t be bothered to do anything motherly.



At one point during the previous books I thought that maybe her brother Kirian was her and Xander’s child and Xander hated her for letting her parents claim him as theirs. However, I realized that wasn’t possible when I found out Kirian was too old and Kim would have had to have been ten or eleven when she had him. Though I do think that would have been a great story, if Kirian would have been younger.

One thing I really liked about this book, as well as the others is the supporting characters. I love the four horsemen. Xander is known as the horseman war which is fitting because he is full of anger. Ronan is a great guy in this one and he sets out to make Xander jealous throughout the book by dating Kim. Aiden and Cole even jump in to help a few times to try to get Xander to make a move or at least do something different.

I won’t give away the strife between Xander and Kim because it all came as quite a big surprise. But I will say that they were best friends when they were young, so they have had a connection for a long time. The chemistry between them is explosive and the tension is high. I loved the romance and the steamy intimate scenes. Great book, but a bit too much angst to give it 5 stars. So I will stick with 4.



I voluntarily read & reviewed an advanced copy of this book. All thoughts & opinions are my own.

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[Penny · Rating 3 out of 5]

the way all of rina kent's heroes are carbon copies of each other 💀

[Rina Kent]

BLACK KNIGHT - Xander Knight & Kimberly Reed

AMAZON US ➜ https://amzn.to/37YIGm4
AMAZON UK ➜ https://amzn.to/2xDwIBT
INTERNATIONAL ➜ https://smarturl.it/BKBuy
AUDIBLE US ➜ https://adbl.co/30xgkO4

This book is a standalone, but for better understanding of Royal Elite's world, it's advised to read the previous books in the series first.

Royal Elite Series:
#0 Cruel King
#1 Deviant King
#2 Steel Princess
#3 Twisted Kingdom
#4 Black Knight (Xander)
#5 Vicious Prince (Ronan)
#6 Ruthless Empire (Cole)
#7 Royal Elite Epilogue

[Sheena ☆ Book Sheenanigans · Rating 1 out of 5]

Updated review posted after processing everything that has happened but you can get the gist of it here.

UPDATE: 06/16/2020
First things first, I would like to point out I am not a spiteful or malicious person by any means which I hope my fellow Goodreads members/friends/followers can testify to with my interactions with them. Everything that has happened in and out of these groups, not to just me but others as well, the author addition to her little minions need to be called out on their shit. All of that rambling and ranting that you’ll bear witness to below aside, everything that has transpired has left a bad taste in my mouth and I can’t support authors who treat readers or anyone in general like this. So I would like to apologize in advance for this long ass message so without further adieu...

The behavior of RK and her PR manager Brittany Franks has led me to add this author to my trash pile and personal shitlist. I will no longer be reading any of her future works nor anyone that she decides to collaborate with.

If you haven't already seen and read through the link posted above, as part of being on RK ARC, all readers are required to provide a minimum of 4 stars along with rave reviews (https://i.imgur.com/iBF6q7u.jpg) (and check out her BK amazon reviews if you don’t believe something fishy is going on). If the 4+ stars are not provided to any or all releases, you basically get the boot when they originally made it out to seem to wait a few days after speaking to Brittany to get the okay (hey girl!) before posting any negative reviews. No joke. I was removed and blocked (what warranted this exactly?) from Rina's Gritty Gang and Team Zero without any notice for what I am assuming is because I didn't provide the required rating (and quite possibly showing my support for WhoIShallNotBeName who has been vocal about her experiences with them) which was abruptly changed (unbeknownst to me) with ‘Black Knight’ release. I would like to point out, when I first joined the Team Zero (ARC team) group initially, there was a 3 star rating policy which I had always abided by and even gave ‘Black Knight’. Though I'm not a fan of, still supported because with my RK reading history, I had normally rated her books 2.5 (rounded up) stars above so I still decided to join for the time being. Then with the sudden change of the policy, it was a big no-go for them when members didn’t flock to their demands and ridiculous review rating policy.

I'm sorry but the last I checked, don't authors typically want reviewers to provide honest feedback and criticism? Even if they're unfavorable? Haven't you heard any publicity is good publicity? On that topic, there's no way in hell I could ever give her book such a high rating. RK is NOT that good of an author. Her stories are repetitive, unoriginal and the characters that she built up she completely ruins with the next release. She's an author that reminds me too much of L.J Shen *eye fucking roll* and to be blunt, if you want me to give you a top notch rating you better write something to damn deserve it because I'm sure as hell not riding anyone clit for a fucking ARC. I chose to review your book because either the blurb caught my eye, theme, or set of characters. Don't think for a moment that I owe you anything for the ARC. The whole purpose of creating an ARC team is to get feedback good and bad from readers to draw attention to your novel. Google what the purpose of an ARC team is because you lack knowledge on anything pertaining to it. And while you’re doing that, do me and everyone else a favor and reeducate yourself and your underling Brittany on what it means to be an actual author/PR team because it’s only a matter of time before you're called out for more of your bullshit and problematic actions.

Speaking of problematic, I’m reminded of the most recent troubles that have occurred with your team. Didn’t other ARC readers pirate RK particularly ‘Black Knight’ books online and to their non ARC friends? That also led to problematic RK being exposed as a xenophobic? If you didn’t know, she falsely threw out accusations and remove Brazilians readers (mainly blaming them for piracy) from her Readers/ARC team and when members called out her behavior, she or her little minion Brittany (leaning more towards since RK doesn’t have a backbone to do anything herself) deleted the comments and banned them from the Facebook group. Now why would anyone stand by an author who is xenophobic? Why would anyone stand by an author/team who treats readers and people in general like this? Perhaps with the recent piracy issues, maybe that's God's way of telling you to stop being ugly. Karma's a bitch huh?


ORIGINAL REVIEW

Besides Cole and Silver pending release, I couldn’t wait to dive into Xander and Kimberly's story, especially after reading their intense interactions in the previous installments. And needless to say, wow! I really enjoyed reading this book and was surprised I was able to read this in one sitting. When that happens, you know shit’s good.

I think what set “Black Knight” release apart from the rest, was the highly emotional and obviously triggering topics that were featured which is probably want I liked the most about this read. I didn’t anticipate the author to include some sensitive issues (precede with caution my fellow bookfolks). It was real. It was raw. It was everything I didn’t expect but needed to get a better understanding of the intense dynamic between Xander and Kimberly including the bombshell (if you want to call it that) that dropped later on in the read.

Everything just flowed seamlessly and the author was able to immersed me into this read. It got to the point that I did in fact get a little teary eyed with some of the scenes. It was so relatable and heartbreaking to read. The only flaws I would like to point out is the duration of the read and how easily Kimberly was able to forgive Xander for all the pain he had caused her. She was obviously a push over. Like girl, make him grovel. Additional to that, Xander and Kimberly's story could have easily ended at the 70ish% mark. Everything after the 70% seemed redundant, dull and boring in which case I did skim through it but nevertheless kudos to the author. This was a fairly decent read.

[ellie · Rating 3 out of 5]

if i ever meet this Joffrey Lannister wannabe bitch in a dark alley

[Huda · Rating 2 out of 5]

2 ⭐
1🔥
He showed me the world, then pushed me off the edge. He painted the stars into the dark sky, then pulled them down in one go.

This book was not want I expected it would be. I thought I'd be one OBSESSED with them but didn't, and it saddens me. I just love Kimberly and Kir-- that's all I like in this book.

Let's begin with my all-time favourite gorgeous girl in this series,Kimberly. I love her so much. It's the way and things I relate to her that are so deep, it was truly a struggle to watch her go through so much. All. alone. Everything about her: how her mother treated her or how she repressed her feelings. She's "fat," and being fat shamed was so so horrible. It was difficult for me to read about because it made me feel really deja vu-like. Look at the tws for this one since the feelings were so intense and real.

I hate them and I hate this fucking body. I hate myself in it. I wish there was a way to detonate it from the inside out, aside from vomiting my lunch.

Xander🤢 he is a big fat NO for me. Nothing special. He did not reached the level at all. Like in my head he is a pathetic bastard. ✋🙄. The things he made Kim go through and the thoughts he made her think? Like all those angry glances and those threatening things were not it okay!

I know this is supposed to be a bully romance but no okay just no. I draw the line where the FMC is so done that she does that to herself literally THAt to herself just because of all those thoughts he indirectly placed in her head.
I draw a line where the MMC makes her go so badly insane that she can't even think clearly. And I'm not saying in like touching her makes her go insane; I am talking about mentally ill.
I draw a line at how Xander made her feel about herself, her body. No, I've read bully romances, but Xan wasn't even a bully; he was a straight-up high school boy from the real-life world.- EVEN WORST

SHE LITERALLY WENT THROUGH HELL AND BACK because of him and you're telling me he did not even groveled!?!?
He just 'found out the truth' and forgot about every dick and sick little thing he did to her. Yeah, no pass, babe. I'd rather be single than take him.
Those disgusting, shameful looks he threw her way. Like, read it yourself.
No, she’s not beautiful. She’s fucking disgusting. D.I.S.G.U.S.T.I.N.G. Spell it out until you learn it by heart, fucking arsehole.

How can he manage to make me hate myself by just looking at me? Why does he have that power?
~her pov 😭

My knight, she used to call me. Now, I’m a rusty one without armour or a sword. I abandoned being her knight to become War. ~ bruh stfu why you so dramatic!?

HE COULD GO TO HELL AND I WON'T GIVE A SINGLE FUCK.

Plot tf was that. It was like Rina Kent wanted to give us a heart attack and was like oh no how do I fix this now... Hmm... Lemme just... Swap this... Hehe done. That's the plot
🌝🌝 Be for real.

Bruh-
I would rather watch Dora explore the world than read why Xander was behaving like that.

Ronan babe I am COMING FOR YOU TO DEVOUR YOU OKAY AND YOU BETTER BE BETTER THAN XAN-TRASH OR ELSE I WILL RIOT.

Xander. The boy with golden hair and blue eyes that he stole from the ocean, the sky, and the magic in books.

~ my ass.

Kim and I are the same in so many ways. We’re both broken, flawed, and have unsatiated hunger. A hunger so furious, it chips at our souls. A hunger so strong, nothing but the other one can satiate.

~ I wish I could feel this thing between them.

“I’ve always cared. Every time I pushed you away, I sliced myself deeper. The more I pretended you don’t exist, the harder I noticed you. There hasn’t been a day where I haven’t thought about you or watched you. And that’s not right, Kim. That’s not right at fucking all.”

~i wanna slap the hell out of Xander

Kimberly: I wish you were never my friend. I wish you had never told me you’d be there for me. I wish you didn’t know so much about me and still chose not to be with me. I wish there was never me or you or us.

~ I cried so hard.

When we were young and I told him I loved stars, he got me one, a special star. It’s from an actual star, he said. He stole it from his dad and I should keep it a secret. I dig into my pocket and bring out the bracelet with the ugly black motif in the middle. He said it’s ugly on the outside, but only because it travelled planets to be with me, just like he always will.

~~~😭😭😭😭 she deserves so much better than that rat

From here on, there are only two options. Either she lives or I don’t.

💔


-------------------
Hmm.... I don't like Xander. I love Kimberly
--------------------------
ok I am ready for some dark.
I don't love Xander that much, but I LOVE KIMBERLY😭 so let's see. I am dying to read their story and all that drama!!!👀
Hehe
________________________

[sama ୨୧ (slumping.) · Rating 1 out of 5]

I don’t even have anything to say. this SUCKED 😭 if I could give this minus stars, i genuinely would. I hate xander so so so much. the other books better be good bc im losing hope with this series.

[aleksandra · Rating 2 out of 5]

2/5

Kim deserves better.

[Yasmine]

❀⊹⊱ 𝓟𝓻𝓮-𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭 ⊹⊱❀
⤿ started at (Tomorrow ) 🙆🏻‍♀️🫧

Stepping into this story — mostly for Kimberly 💚
Not sure what to expect, but maybe this story will surprise me 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Maditales · Rating 1 out of 5]

See why the fuck is Xander so dramatic. He could have asked ONE question but no. He decided to bully someone for years instead and she didn't even do anything wrong.

Also I was disgusted after finding out what the secret was because he knew and she didn't while they first did smth together. no absolutely not.

[Ri ♡ · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 stars

“The universe doesn’t matter, green, you do.
Then. Now. Always.”

The 3 stars three stars are for Kimberly and Kimberly only. Kim deserves so much better than Xander, who couldn’t even grovel for her because he thinks he was right for making her feel bad about herself—because he had his ‘reasons’. Honestly, I was hoping for more angst, some good grovelling and begging from Xander, and years' worth of longing and yearning on his part after avoiding Kim like the plague. But this book gave me nothing.

I love Kimberly, and I feel so bad for how everyone treated her. I always suspected she had mental health struggles and an eating disorder from Elsa and Aiden’s books, but I never thought it would be this serious. She was always trying to be the perfect girl with the perfect body for her mother, who emotionally abused her with cruel comments about her weight and health. It broke my heart how lonely, helpless, and scared she felt for years, hiding everything behind the ‘This is new Kimberly’ façade she created for the people she loved. She just wanted to be understood and loved, yet everyone failed her—even Xander—because of how he treated her like she was less than she was. I liked her healing process and how she finally started leaning on others for help. Her character development is the best in the series. She is, hands down, the best character for me.

“I might be broken, but I’ll pull myself together. I might have fallen, but I’ll get up. There’ll be a day where I look behind and say I survived.”


I never liked Xander. Not even in the previous books, because every time he opened his mouth, he said something awful about Kimberly. He doesn’t deserve her love or care. He didn’t even grovel—and that was NEEDED in this book. He was Kim’s tormentor for seven years over a misunderstanding that he never bothered to fact-check with his father. Instead of just talking to Kimberly about it, he chose to bully her. He was always attuned to her and her surroundings, yet he never saw how much she was hurting inside.

“I know Kimberly’s fake smiles. I’ve learnt them. I have them engraved in a dark corner in my heart, the one with her name written all over it.”


The romance was fine. Kim and Xander had cute, emotional, and intense moments, and I could feel their connection and mutual protectiveness, even though they pretended to hate each other’s guts. Compared to the other couples, they actually had a healthier relationship and a better understanding of each other, which is why I liked them more than Aiden and Elsa. I’m not a fan of Xander, I hated how easily Kimberly accepted him back into her life after everything he did to her. He stood by and watched as she was bullied for years without ever stepping in to help. That frustrates me so much. I get that he was trying to stay away because of the ‘truth’ he learned about their fathers seven years ago, but he could have at least helped her when students were bullying her for her appearance and personality.

The only thing I did like about him was that he was a virgin because he only ever wanted Kim—but honestly, it would’ve been so much better if Kim wasn’t a virgin. Seriously, what is it with Rina and her virgin heroine obsession? I did enjoy their childhood moments and how much they cared for each other before Xander ruined everything with his stupid misunderstanding.

“You’ve been fantasising about me?”
“All the damn time. It drove me fucking insane.” My fingers get lost in his hair as I peek at him through my lashes.
“Even when you were with others?”
“What others?” He brushes his lips against mine. “You’re my first, Green.”

The plot twist was so unnecessarily dramatic that it was actually funny. I wish Rina had chosen a better storyline for Xander and Kim. The one thing I did like about the ending was that Xander went to rehab for his alcohol addiction, and Kim started therapy for her mental health. At least they chose to deal with their problems in a healthier way instead of just ignoring them like Aiden.

Also, what is going on with Ronan and Teal? There better not be a virgin trope in Vicious Prince because I cannot take any more of it.

————————————

I need xander to grovel on his knees

[han · Rating 2 out of 5]

i could not stand xander and his treatment of kim was unforgivable and she deserved way better. the book leaned heavily on the idea that love means enduring pain and that didn’t sit right with me. i wasn’t invested in xander’s redemption and the reason we were given for his behaviour felt like a joke as it doesn’t justify anything and makes him seem emotionally immature.

[Mel🌻 · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

“Instead of dancing alone, dance with others. Instead of living alone, lean on others. Instead of purging the pain, talk about it.” 😭

omg guys this book was everything 🥲, honestly Rina Kent can do no wrong!

Please check your trigger warnings before reading this book because some of the themes are dark.

This book made me sob, the mental heath issues that were touched upon during this book really hit home for me and I really felt for Kim as I've sometimes felt exactly how she had. I think Kim and Xanders story is my favourite so far in Royal Elite. I'm not going to talk about the plot because you should just go and read this now!🥺

My favourite quotes:

Xander. The boy with golden hair and blue eyes that he stole from the ocean, the sky, and the magic in books.

Xan and I will never change. I’ll always be his Green and he’ll always be my knight.

I can’t have her, but that doesn’t mean I can’t play with her. Love is impossible, but hate is an open game.

“And war he is. Xander is the type of war you never see coming, and when you do, it’s already too late.”

“You’ll kill me, Green, and I’m ready for death.”

“I lie about a lot of things. I’m a liar.” He’s still speaking in that neutral tone as if any other range will ruin his composure. “Things like what?” “Like how much I hate you. I don’t. Or how much you’re nothing. You aren’t. Or how I can live without you. I can’t.”

“Instead of dancing alone, dance with others. Instead of living alone, lean on others. Instead of purging the pain, talk about it.”

“What others?” He brushes his lips against mine. “You’re my first, Green.”

Being with Xander is like finally finding a missing piece of myself and slowly sewing it back in place.

“Then what’s your plan now?” she asks. “You.” “M-me?” “Yes, you. Wherever you go, I go.”

I'll heal, like I'm sure you will. I won't fix you and you won't fix me. We’ll just hug each other like we used to do in the past. If Samantha stirs any shit up, I'll kiss you in front of the world and shout that you're mine, their judgement be damned. The universe doesn't matter, Green, you do. Then. Now. Always.

✨

Pre-reading:

Ooo I can tell this is going to be good 🤭🤭

Nothing like abit of Rina Kent to get you out of a book slump

[jess · Rating 1 out of 5]

i would’ve had more fun counting grains of sand

[Samantha (bookgramsaga reviews) · Rating 5 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (5th reread and this is still my fav of the series)

''Because you're worth being burned for.''

Safety gang:
- No cheating
- No OM drama
- Slight OW drama (not significant)
- Self h*rm
- Su*cidal thoughts
- Attempted su*cide
- Eating disorder/fat shaming
- Alcoholism
- Depression
- Child neglect/abandonment
- Mention of cheating (not MCs)
- Verbal abuse
- HEA

SPOILERS BELOW ⬇️

SPOILERS BELOW ⬇️

SPOILERS BELOW ⬇️

SPOILERS BELOW ⬇️

Xander and Kim are my favorite couple in the Elite series and also the most heartbreaking one. Their love was so beautiful as kids, and I hated that it was ruined by such a huge miscommunication and misunderstanding but honestly who can blame Xander for thinking or believing something so massive?

I honestly loved this one because of how complicated and heartbreaking the backstory and the current state of the main characters.

Finding out that Xander overheard during a secret conversation between his father and Kim's mother and the reveal that Kim is actually his father’s daughter also implicating that him and Kim are brother/sister and that was his reason for basically turning his back on her and “hating” her was truly such a sad moment. He tried so hard to not feel anything and felt like he was doomed to hell for wanting her.

He spends the next 7 years trying to erase her from his mind and life only because he wants her so much and cannot stop thinking about her, this leads him to believe he is damned to be in love with his own ''sister''.

Kim’s mother was the absolute worst. She was such a disgrace. I’m glad she no longer has power over Kim - she should have left years ago. Xander’s mom’s attitude wasn’t shocking to be honest - who leaves their kid like that and comes back for money and is still deemed a good person? Nobody.

Kim's suicide was so hard to read and Xander's reactions to her frustrated me because I could not fathom the level of hatred he developed because of a childhood mistake but when the truth came out it was a huge shock.... Thankfully the next few chapters fixed that, and we find out the truth. They aren’t siblings. They have no connection biologically - his dad is her bio dad, and her dad is his bio dad. The only thing they share is a half sibling aka Kieran which explains so much about why Xan was always kind to him and taking care of him.

Xander dealing with everything by becoming an alcoholic was probably the worst decision but I’m glad he got the help and wanted to be better and not for Kim but for himself. I love how they both got better for themselves and how they didn’t try to fix the other but were just supportive.

Also, his ''human rights case'' situation made me squeal more than I should lol I love a loyal guy and especially when they can’t fathom anybody else and only have eyes for that one girl despite it being impossible to obtain.

He was a virgin and the girls he would be seen with and Kim believing he was sleeping with them were just a cover up for his virginity.

I can see why Rina still says this is her most emotional book, it takes you on a different journey than the rest of the Elite couples.

Am I super excited knowing their daughter ends up with Jeremy?? Yes. My favorite Elite couple and one of my favorite book couples uniting as in-laws? Perfection. Xander having to give up his only child to a Russian mobster? Epic.

I’ll never shut up about this book and it’s becoming a yearly reread for me.

[Grecia Robles · Rating 4 out of 5]

ME ENCANTÓ!!!

Este sin duda es mi libro favorito y para este momento ya los he leído todos no pude parar de leer para detenerme hacer reseñas así de OBSESSED estoy con la serie, es que estos libros son demasiado adictivos, estoy amando a RINA KENT es mi autora revelación.
Nunca pensé que me iban a gustar tanto estos libros.

Desde que leí el libro de Levi y Astrid y salió Kim empecé a leer las sinopsis y ansiaba este libro y no me decepcionó, es tan atrapante, adictivo que no dormí hasta que lo terminé Y LITERAL NO DORMÍ me dieron las 7 am.

Es la historia más emocional de todas, la que más me hizo sentir y luego es Childhood Friends to Adult Lovers y yo AMOOOOO ese tipo de libros.
Sufrí con su separación y la manera tan horrible que Xander trataba a Kim pasó de ser su mejor amigo una de las personas más importantes en su vida a la persona que más la lastima

Kim y su sufrimiento me LLEGÓ, era demasiado triste todo lo que le pasaba y nadie se daba cuenta sus pensamientos hacían que se partiera mi corazón.
Odié a la mamá y en algunos momentos a Xander.
Kim también es mi protagonista favorita, la chica es dulce, es amable, tan necesitada de amor.

A Xander como dije lo odié en momentos pero ya cuando estaba con Kim fue demasiado lindo y no entiendo como no pudo ser siempre así con ella, bueno si lo entiendo pero no hay justificación.
Al final si se redimió y lo perdoné, soy muy fácil.

Si bajó un poco la intensidad al final pero se lo perdoné con el epílogo estaba bien bonito

[Bookadmirer · Rating 5 out of 5]

One thing for sure is that the author's writing has improved. If she didn't drag Aiden and Elsa's story in three books I might have liked their story as well. What I missed in this book are Levi and Astrid. Their story was decent and it would have been great if there were also more glimpse of their life like the rest.

The best part of this book was where Kir was included. That little guy literally lightens up my mood every time he appeared.



Who goes to the bathroom of a friend's house and doesn't lock the door? It's Kimberly and that's how Xander found out she vomits the food she ate to lose weight. It worked for the story but this was pretty dumb. Other than these stupid mistakes it wasn't that bad.

I have always been curious why Xander bullies Kimberly. The reason was shocking but also makes sense. Although it was a misunderstanding, luckily things went well. I didn't have any expectations from this book however it turned out really good.

Ronan was funny like all the previous books. I hope he only jokes about the threesomes but not act upon it. I am not a fan of sharing and these stuffs. His interaction with Teal was mysterious now I am interested in their story. It was funny when Ronan tried to make Xander jealous by getting close to Kimberly. Those scenes were hilarious but also worked because Xander actually got jealous.

Although Silver annoyed me in the previous books, in this book she came to a different light. Behind her facade she is suffering. I wonder what's Cole and her story would be. Cole is quiet but very observant. Actually before this book, I didn't have much interest but now I want to know what will happen to every character.

The most shocking part is that Xander is actually a virgin while he acted he was a manwhore which was just a facade. That was an interesting plot twist. The epilogue at the end was cute. Is this book safe? I don't know . It has suicide attempt and bullying. The bullying wasn't the worst like the previous books rather mild but the suicide attempt scene was explicit. Other than these it's pretty safe.

The romantic development was good. It wasn't boring rather interesting. I enjoyed it a lot. It was overall entertaining. I never felt bored rather was on the edge to know what happens next.

[caleigh · Rating 2 out of 5]

⤳3 stars ★ | “the universe doesn't matter, green. you do.”

where do i even start with this? very much mixed opinions, very much love/hate relationship. very much icked out, very much loved them. sigh.

okay let's start with the good. i adored kimberly sm. i wasn't really sure how i would feel about her after seeing her in the last books, i was afraid she would be a little too small and quiet but that wasn't her at all. her story absolutely shattered my heart but seeing her slowly grow was so beautiful.

i liked the romance for most of (?) the book. i mean xander was a dick and said some disgusting things to kimberly at a couple points but i think i mostly appreciated their emotional connection from their history. but then "you're my sister" happened and i was so icked out for the rest of the book. and the fact that they kept referencing it too even after they found out it wasn't true? can we not? and the fact that xander's sexual thoughts about her probably started after he thought they were related? no eleven year old is dreaming about sex and love and whatever with anyone so his attraction to kimberly came even with him knowing they were potentially blood siblings? that's just so .. ew. no. disgusting.

i could take or leave the rest of the book honestly. the whole plot twist family mix up disaster was so random and out there that i just had to laugh. rina always tries to put some wild plot in her books and it just never actually does anything but whatever it was there. aiden still sucks. i'm still excited to lose my mind over ronan and teal in the next book. but this was by far my favorite rina book i've read so far.

pre read
every girlie on instagram has told me i'm gonna hate xander even though i've liked him so far so 🫣

[The Girl Murdered by Her TBR · Rating 5 out of 5]

Yep, still the same. The feels. The characters. My deep obsession with Kim, Xander and Ronan. I’m still obsessed with them even after 2 years.
—————————————-

5 stars!

Warning: This book contains sensitive topics about mental health that can cause triggers.

You know, there's really something in Rina Kent's books that makes so freaking addicted to it.

I have been impatiently waiting for this book to be released and alas! It was released and got the chance to read it asap.

To me, this was absolute perfection. It contains strong emotions that will make you feel alive. Kim and Xander's chemistry is so strong that I felt high while reading this. It's very unputdownable.

Rina Kent is genius. Period.

[The Romantic Rush Blog · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is for those of us who have felt invisible, who have felt shackled by our pain, our insecurities, and fears. This is for those of us who have silently screamed to be seen while we drown and suffocate, trapped in our bodies, trapped in hollow expectations and dreams, smothered in our own feelings, surrounded but yet all alone. This book is for me.

Our story is about Kimberly and Xander. We’ve seen them in prior books, but we get them unfiltered and exposed here. Xander is a bully- vindictive, the “War,” hateful- Kimberly’s ex best friend that is now an enemy for reasons we don’t yet understand. Kimberly is isolated, unhappy, verbally abused, and suffering from some dark mental health challenges. She’s hiding in her own skin, in broad daylight, and only Xander sees her- much to both of their chagrin. Our story centers much on their emotions and interactions- the plot feels like it moves quickly but it is driven by emotion- by interaction- which helps us deeply connect with our characters. We see their heart, not just their pain, we see their hopes- their light and dark. They find their way to each other as two soulmates, struggling to accept themselves and cope as they first repress and then address the demons that are cutting them from inside out.

Have you ever read a character that feels like the author bisecting you and examined your every working- even the dark, small parts of yourself that you squirrel away so no one can see their ugliness? The ins and outs of what makes you tick? You feel seen and exposed all at once- affirmed and uncomfortably vulnerable, because fiction blurs with reality. This character for me is Kimberly. I saw pieces of myself at every turn- ugly pieces that myself and others hide. Or I thought they were ugly- but Rina tenderly unmasks them with Kimberly, not exploitatively but with care, and makes them beautiful. I’ve never felt as seen, as visible, as understood- as worthy. Rina so beautifully puts words to feelings I’ve felt, that Kim experiences- metaphors and allegories,and so much powerful imagery.

This story is an excellent read- moments felt like therapy. I wish we’d gotten to live into the recovery of our characters a bit more, seen the non-linear process that healing takes- but that is perhaps a whole other story. And, to be honest, I’m not 100% sure about the twist (this book does have several MAJOR twists) still- even though they were necessary for both the conflict and conflict resolution- but the resolution of them felt easy, but maybe that is just the juxtaposition we need to see just how NOT easy Kimberly and Xanders journeys are- both in facing their own demons and in figuring out how two people, trapped within themselves, can be soulmates. That was the story that compelled me, that left me crying, exposed, and raw multiple times. And that is why you should read this book.

This story is raw and real- and Rina doesn’t just scratch the surface of dark and heavy subjects or experiences as an exploitative plot device. Rather, she brings them front and center, unmasks and exposes them and asks us to sit in them as our characters do- to breathe their air. This story hurts, it's painful, it's visceral- but in that you find emotional resonance, some peace and hope- either because you see aspects of your own journey or because she has so richly, tenderly and carefully crafted dimensional characters whose feelings have almost become your own. (or in my case, both). That said, there are multiple triggering subject matters dealt with- this is not sensationalized, it feels personal and gritty and real. Rina has been very proactive in sharing a warning with this book, which some readers may need to heed.

So, I say again, this book is for those of us who have felt invisible, who have felt shackled by our pain, our insecurities, and fears. This is for those of us who have silently screamed to be seen while we drown and suffocate, trapped in our bodies, trapped in hollow expectations and dreams, smothered in our own feelings, surrounded but alone. AND, this is for those of us who know it can get better, that there is beauty and hope in the struggle.

This book is for me. And, I believe this book is for you.

[Sonia · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 Green and Knight Stars

After reading Aiden and Elsa's trilogy, I knew I needed to get to Kimberly and Xander's... cause there was so much tension in their books... plus, I needed to know what Kim had done to make Xander hate her... and, well, we find out...👀

Kim and Xander had been best friends since they were kids🥹. They were inseparable and had the connection of also loving her younger brother, Kir. When Xander was 6, his mother abandoned him and he's been scarred since. Kim lives life with an unloving mother, a mother who's there but constantly belittles her and makes her feel fat😒. As time progresses, Xan started getting closer to the boys (RES boys), and when they were 11, something happens that separated them for good. Kim no longer had her best friend in her corner; he was her enemy now.

It's currently their senior year in high school and the tension between them continues👀, but Kim's done being a doormat; she's going to try to fight back, even though she has a lot of turmoil going on in her life behind the scenes.

What I loved/liked:Possible Spoilers
-The tension between Xan and Kim😅. Don't get me wrong, I wanted there to be more, but I think if you've read the previous books, you really get the full picture of what's been going on with them. Even though there are other people in the room, Xan and Kim's eyes gravitate toward each other👀

-The smexy times🔥. Oh LAWD... their first time doing stuff was so 🥵hot! The way Xan worships Kim's body💦, her scars❤️, everything was *🤌🏻chef's kiss* (plus, he makes sure she gets pleasure😉... I see you Xan🔥). And their first official time was hot 🔥af... I mean, the wall didn't see it coming💁🏻‍♀️! And don't get me started on all the other times later in the book. Yes, this is on the slow burn ish side (first time after 70%), but they sure make up for their lack of intimacy after this... even the epilogues were STEAMY😉

-The past🥹. I loved seeing how playful and cute they were when they were young. Could there have been more of this to really see how close they were? Yeah, but I liked what was presented.

-How JP Xan gets💅. Well, of course, I'm going to comment on this💁🏻‍♀️. When Ronan (OM) starts flirting and trying to date Kim, he gets soooo JP! LOL even when he's drunk and upset, he can't stop imagining that Ronan's going to take Kim's virginity lol 🤷🏻‍♀️I LUUUUURVED IT (Ronan does all of this on purpose💅👀 lol). What can I say? I looove OMD 😈

-Kir❤️!! This little boy was so darn cute ERMAGOD🥹... even when he walks in on Kim and Xan, he's like "ohhh I wanna join the sleepover" 🫣🫣🫣bahahaha! Plus, I love how genuine the love is between the three of them

-the reasons for the separation actually made sense😬. Sigh... I'm glad it wasn't what Kim thought the whole time... but I'm going to comment on this down below

-the side characters. It just warms my heart ❤️. It also gets me excited to read the next ones 👀 I mean... I'm already in love with Aiden and Elsa lol

-EPILOGUES 🥹🥰 (yes... P L U R A L lol). I am such a hooooooar for epilogues🤤. We get two in the book... sigh... I luuurved them😫... and then you can sign up for RK's newsletter to get Xan's POV chapters

-the swoooonines🥰. Sigh... yup... Xan made me swoon a few times... and in the epilogues I swooooned even more🥹😫

-the angst with the triggers😬. I knew going in that it was going to be angsty; I mean, there's a reason why Xan and Kim aren't best friends, plus, we get glimpses of some of their issues in the first three books, especially with Kim's struggles. I liked how RK addresses this and has them get help❤️. It wasn't just brushed under the rug

-the family drama👀. Considering the reasons for both Xan and Kim's struggles and the aftermath of it all, I like that we get some info on what happens, and consequences for the respective parties. The moms of these two p!ssed me off🤬🤬🤬

What I didn’t like/love
-grovel? Where? 😐It needed some kind of a grovel 😒

-Xan standing by while Kim's being bullied😑🤬. Look. I get it. He finds out why they can't be together and it breaks him, leads him down the road of addiction, but standing by and watching Kim get bullied p!ssed me off to no end🤬. Not only is Kim fat shamed, but there are other things that happen that cause Kim to be extremely unhappy, leading to her attempting soo-i-cide more than once. Where's the comeuppance? 😐... This leads me to…

-the OW he "hangs" out with are the primary bullies. GRRRRR!!! 🤬🤬🤬We find out that he doesn't do anything with them Xan's a virgin and never had sex with any of them. He just watches p0rn with them, or if there's two of them, each other , but it still angered me that he didn't try to actively stop them😑. He's "supposed" to hate her... but I don't think that should've been his answer. Aiden would've never allowed anyone to bully Elsa... I'm just saying 🤷🏻‍♀️ (he would’ve been the only bullying her lol 💅)

Overall, I really enjoyed it... just wish he would've been a little more active when it came to Kim's struggles...

⚠️safety squad⚠️possible spoilers
-no cheating/sharing
-dual virgins
-bullying
-child abandonment/neglectful and harsh parents
-eating disorders, mental health, cutting, attempted soo-i-cide, fat shaming, drinking, alcoholism, and drug/pill use
-OW- the H is rumored to have been with tons of girls. The h has seen him leave with girls in the past and they both come back disheveled. In the book, she sees H slap OW’s butt after they’ve clearly made out. Dances with OW2 at party. Many of these have bullied the h
-mild OM- one of H’s friends flirts with h and tells H he wants to sleep with her. He asks her out of a date but it’s really to rile the H up. The H is PISSSSSED

[❤️Court - Villains Do It Better❤️ · Rating 2 out of 5]

1.5 Stars

Spoilers!!

Ya... This book wasn't for me😅, for many reasons. It felt like a bit of a washed down version of Aiden's trilogy mixed with Broken Knight by LJ Shen and a couple other books I can't think of right now. Then the big revelation came, which was pretty obvious, and I just liked this book less. I've read multiple books/series where the revelation is a plot device or the main plot (still scarred from The Mortal Instruments series tbh), and I am currently watching a show where it was used as a plot device, so I am even more annoyed that that was the big reason he hated her and caused her to suffer for so many years, which is still inexcusable in my book.

Then the story in itself was a bit boring for me. This was definitely a story that I kept putting down and procrastinating with social media😂 because I just stopped caring a bit. Even when I was close to the end. I wanted to get it over with, but I also didn't care to read it and kept flip flopping back and forth.

Kim bugged the crap out of me in the previous books, and though she wasn't as annoying in this, she was still a bit tainted from them, and still just as weak as ever. She's constantly pining after him, or staring at him and other girls, big time second-hand embarrassment, and I just needed her to grow a spine, which she did a little too late IMO, and then it disappeared QUICK. Then I felt like Ronan, who WAY outshines Xander, should have ended up with Kim instead. Xander was just a very bland, no personality, character, which I kind of figured he would be from the previous books too. I honestly didn't care for him or his struggles at all, especially because of what he did to Kim. Ronan at least had a personality and was funny, though the constant mentions of threesomes are getting repetitive.

So anyways, the first about 60% of the book I felt had hardly any real interactions or conversation between Kim and Xander. It's mainly Xander throwing girls in her face, or her worrying about those girls, or the people bullying her, or her eating disorder and any other issues she has, or hanging out with the 4 horsemen. If they didn't hate each other, I feel like they should have been more friends than lovers with how little chemistry and depth they had. Then the revelation comes and they find out they're not brother and sister like Xander thought and was the reason he hated her, shocker, they're just in some f**ked up Switched at Birth scenario. And apparently finding out she may be your sister is a great reason to bully her and have the school bully her, and fat shame and lower her self-esteem completely, he's a great hero for sure.

Then after the revelation, they immediately jump into bed together, with us finding out he's a virgin, Broken Knight anyone? I mean, I'm glad he is, but that still doesn't excuse any of his previous behavior. We don't even get groveling. Zero. Nada. Nothing. He hates her the entire book, while her weak self does hardly anything, then they find out there is no reason to hate each other, they jump into bed, then they live happy ever after pretty much. She doesn't even demand an apology really. All she says was she was really hurt and it's not gonna go away, but it sure seems like it did exactly that. The only thing I liked about her was with Ronan and letting Xander suffer seeing them together. Everyone needs a Ronan in their life👏

Besides the no groveling part, one of the things that really bothered me were her eating disorders and cutting, and his alcoholism. I felt like we had a lot of build up with them being a part of the character's past and it being more engrained into their lives, but then I felt like they just went away too quickly when it became convenient to the story, and we never had any actual healing, we were just told it. I never saw any of the emotional impact the years of bullying took on her either, or the impact from her near suicide. It's like it never happened except some mentions of her scar. And then with him, I felt like I needed some big blow out or something (Broken Knight again anyone?), instead of being told he has alcohol issues and then going to rehab and coming back fine. Both of these could have given the story more depth with a deeper emotional impact, but just as I started feeling anything, the whole issue just became glossed over and became more about their parents and starting their HEA.

Overall, this is definitely my least favorite so far. I love seeing Aiden still and the rest of the horsemen, and I'm pretty excited for their stories, especially Coles, but I'm hoping Silver doesn't turn into a weak heroine like Kim is. I'm hoping Rina doesn't disappoint with theirs, especially with how much of a disappointment this one was with spineless Kim and weak Xander. And also crossing my fingers Teal won't be a virgin because that seems to be a theme in this series and I'm not a fan lol. This book was fine because he was a virgin too, but if Teal and Silver both are too, while Cole and Ronan are manwhores? Then I'm out lol. 🤞

[annie · Rating 5 out of 5]

'BABY, I'M JEALOUS' IS KIMBERLY'S SONG! 🎶💚

Every lyric is so accurate in portraying her personality and insecurities, and it's a perfect fit for the Xander-Kim's relationship dynamic.

[Alya · Rating 4 out of 5]

"He was once my knight, my anchor, my warm shoulder, now he's the villain coming after my life. Now, he’s the master of that suffocating fog that’s slowly wrapping its tentacles around my throat and cutting off my air supply. "

I honestly don't know how to rate this one, it truly was a rollercoaster of emotions, the family drama -- PROTECT KIM AT ALL COSTS was me throughout almost the whole book especially from her mum. Now, as someone who lives on angst between two couples whether it's books or shows; the love hate war I had between myself when it came to Xander was exhausting, he's a prick for the most part but it's so obvious he has a soft spot for Kim -- I can't fully hate him🫣 the bracelet scene made me cry 😭 for the both of them if I'm being fully honest.
I just love this universe it's an addiction at this point.

"People marry their soulmates or those who complete them. I married the woman who gave meaning to my life"

My Bookstagram

[vasiliki · Rating 1 out of 5]

i think Cassandra Clare co-wrote this

[♡✿Mania⁠✿♡ ꒰inactive꒱ · Rating 3 out of 5]

✯✯✯~ 3 stars✧ {For Kimberly}
╰┈➤ "𝑰 𝒎𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒃𝒆 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒏, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑰"𝒍𝒍 𝒑𝒖𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒚𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒕𝒐𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓.. 𝑰 𝒎𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒇𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒏, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑰'𝒍𝒍 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒖𝒑. 𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆'𝒍𝒍 𝒃𝒆 𝒂 𝒅𝒂𝒚 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝑰 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒃𝒆𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒂𝒚 𝑰 𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒗𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒅.”

🍵Feel Something : Bea Miller
0:24 ─●──────── -2:56
↺ |◁   II   ▷|   ♡
꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋🥝 ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦
I don't wanna die but I don't wanna live like this
I just wanna feel something, I just wanna feel
I just wanna feel something, I just wanna feel
Something really real so that I can really
Feel like a person again
꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋🥝 ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
🐬Mental health rep
🥑 Childhood friends x strangers x lovers
🐬 Highschool bully romance
🥑 Virgin mmc & fmc
🐬Jaw dropping plot twist
🥑 misunderstanding-ish
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

🚨‼️ SPOILERS ‼️🚨

TW: self harm, ED, fat shaming, su!cide attempts, bullying, etc

˖ ⊹┆Thoughts ᝰ°
(🎧) I'm jumping straight in —Why is literally no one calling out how weird that plot twist was?? Like sure, my jaw hit the floor because I did NOT see it coming, but once the shock wore off… it was just plain disturbing. Xander thought Kimberly was his sister and still fantasized about her for seven years?? Excuse me but—ew ew ew ew ew ew ew. This was gross— literally the plot twist could have been anything but this—anything!!. That whole twist felt so unnecessary and honestly tainted the whole book for me. I’ve only ever read one other book with this kind of twist: The Charade by Judy Cori, but at least in that one I knew beforehand and both leads found out together and it was a short misunderstanding, so it didn’t hit as… nasty as this one did.They legit share a brother so there kind of siblings as well even if there not blood related by any means, it's just too weird!!

All that aside, this book did made me bawl my eyes out—I was literally clutching my heart! I really appreciate that the smut level was low compared to her other books, and I think she did a pretty solid job representing mental health in a decent way.This was definitely different than her other books, atleast from the ones I've read!!! tbh didn't feel like a typical Rina Kent book at times( excluding the Xander).

˖ ⊹┆ ࣪Kimberly ᝰ°
{💚}As a person who suffered with ED in the past I understood Kimberly very deeply. She’s my baby and honestly deserves the whole world. I was so emotional reading her chapters—I legit bawled when she attempted to take her own life. This girl was fighting battles every single day: her mom tearing her down, her best friend-turned-bully crushing her confidence, and her own mind dragging her through hell with eating disorders and scars and insecurities she couldn’t hide. And yet… she STILL kept going.
So tell me again how she’s “weak”? Because no—she’s literally the strongest character in this whole book. She’s the only reason I didn’t DNF. Every time she cried, I felt it in my chest. Every time she stood back up, I wanted to scream YASSS QUEEN. She is too iconic for a snob like Xander. Period!!
Honestly, the fact that she still managed to hold on to love after everything? That’s what makes her such a beautiful character. Kimberly deserved so much better.Way better than the mess she was given. Definitely if not the then one of Rina's best written characters I absolutely adore her!! She watches kdrama's and reads books we genuinely could be besties!!!

˖ ⊹┆Xander ᝰ°
{💙} *Deep breaths* *Deep breaths* This man wasn’t just “mean” or “closed off” — no, he was downright cruel. Body-shaming her, mocking her trauma, making her feel worthless, and then suddenly we’re supposed to eat up his redemption arc(if it could even be considered that) like it’s gourmet?? Be so serious.Xander’s redemption arc? Let’s just say it's underwhelming.  I  wanted more remorse, more apology, more groveling. Instead, the emotional wounds linger long after the pages turn. HE LITERALLY NEVER PROPERLY APOLOGIZED TO HER?!?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?
Like sir, you don’t get to emotionally destroy a girl and then show up with your tragic backstory and puppy eyes expecting forgiveness. NO. You need a three-book grovel spin-off, public apology tours, AND therapy. But tbh some of the things he said no appolygy could ever erase that!! atleast for me.
And let’s not even start on the “plot twist” where he thought she was his sister but still obsessed over her for SEVEN years. That’s not angsty, that’s unhinged.And instead of just—I don’t know—ASKING his dad for an explanation or maybe, bare minimum, TALKING to Kimberly about it, this man decided to torment her for SEVEN. FREAKING. YEARS. Over something that wasn’t even her fault. Like??? She didn’t even KNOW!!!
And okay fine, I might look past the bullying part for the sake of “it’s a bully romance, we signed up for angst.” But what I will NEVER understand is why he never once stood up for her when other people brutally bullied her. Like, be so serious—if you “cared about her all along” then WHY were you standing there letting everyone tear her apart?? Spare me the “secretly cared” excuse. No you didn’t, you just let her rot. stfu, Xander.

Honestly, the list of things I actually like about Xander is microscopic. Like, I’ll admit, the virgin reveal shocked me for once, a dark romance MMC who hasn’t slept his way through the population??? Revolutionary. And I did appreciate that he eventually went to rehab for his alcoholism—finally taking responsibility instead of drowning in his own toxicity. But it was barely crumbs for what truama he inflicted upon my baby. And yeah, belive it or not he is so far is my 'favourite' in the series 💀


˖ ⊹┆ ࣪Kimberly+Xander ᝰ°
(🍾) Umm they were okay I guess. Personally have read worse. But honestly? I think Kimberly accepted him back way too fast. Like girl, he spent SEVEN years tormenting you, standing by while other people bullied you, and never once defended you when you needed him. And then the second he decides to “change,” she just lets him back in? Nah, that didn’t sit right with me.. Kimberly deserved chapters and chapters of him proving himself, not just a few sweet moments and apologies. Maybe if we had gotten more actual yearning, some real pining, and a sincere apology, I could’ve liked Xander a bit more. But the way it was written? His so-called redemption just felt rushed and half-baked.

Their chemistry and angst were there, sure, but it always felt like she had to do more forgiving than he had to do making up for everything. And that’s why their relationship, for me, was just… okay. Not epic, just okay.


˖𐙚⋆.˚ QUOTES (⚠️Contains TW⚠️)

ᡣ𐭩"Help me stop,I need help Daddy."

ᡣ𐭩I have more book boyfriends than I can count. Don’t judge.

ᡣ𐭩Being invisible is easy, but being completely non-existent is a bit difficult

ᡣ𐭩People can become ghosts. They can exist, even if at the same time they don't. The can go unnoticed so that even though everyone looks at them, they don't really see them.

ᡣ𐭩People think the ‘nothing’ state of mind is the best to have. It’s not. Slowly, that nothingness morphs into irrevocable darkness that you can never escape. A fog. A numbness.

ᡣ𐭩Don't change." Kiss. "Don't be fake." Kiss. "Be you." Kiss. "Be my beautiful Green.

ᡣ𐭩You’ll always be my Green.

ᡣ𐭩At first, it was painful, then it became a permanent ache, and now, I can’t breathe.

ᡣ𐭩 I just ate and ate and ate until my jaw hurt and my stomach
protested, but I didn’t stop.Even after the puking, I brought my stash with me to the toilet andcontinued eating and eating and fucking eating as if the food will somehowsew the hole inside me.It didn’t.

ᡣ𐭩A loser, rubbish. No one wants you.You’re nothing. How about you become nothing?Those voices heighten and tighten around my chest like thorns,prickling away at my heart.

ᡣ𐭩How could I be a failure even in death?

ᡣ𐭩Drugs can make you feel high, but it’s temporary.” I wipe the corner of Kir’s mouth. “Love can be temporary, too, but it has an everlasting effect. Sometimes, it becomes hard to breathe or think or even be without it.

ᡣ𐭩"cutting made me feel. There was so much pain andsometimes, I couldn’t breathe, and that’s when the cutting and the pillsbegan. They made me feel something other than that pain. They were a painI could control, a pain that could purge it all out with the blood. Thephysical cut was more tolerable than the thousand emotional and mental scars I walked with every day.

ᡣ𐭩"You never told me your favourite flavour.”
He speaks around my fingers, “You".

ᡣ𐭩“You still love hugs, Xan?”
“Only from you, Green.”

ᡣ𐭩“I'll heal, like I'm sure you will. I won't fix you and you won't fix me. We’ll just hug each other like we used to do in the past. If Samantha stirs any shit up, I'll kiss you in front of the world and shout that you're mine, their judgement be damned. The universe doesn't matter, Green, you do. Then. Now. Always.”

── .✦ Spoilers End

˖ ⊹ ࣪.┆Overall ᝰ°
(🌵)Overall, Black Knight was a rollercoaster—full of angst, drama, and emotional twists. And honestly, Kimberly carried the whole book.—but I can’t say it completely worked for me. Some parts were gripping, others felt messy, and the romance didn’t hit as hard as it could’ve. Xander absolutely doesn't desserve Kimberly —she is too fabulous for a dog shit like him!!! That said, if you’re into dark romance with complicated characters and emotional drama, go for it—but don’t expect perfection. Personally it was definitely alot better than the previous books, though there is a strong chance I won't be continuing this series any further!

       ────୨ৎ────
Cruel king: DNF'D
Deviant king: 1⭐
Steel princess:1⭐
Twisted kingdom: DNF'D
Black knight: 3⭐
Vicious Prince: tbr?
Ruthless Empire : tbr?
Royal Elite Epilogue : ???
       ────୨ৎ────
→⁠_⁠→←⁠_⁠←→⁠_⁠→←⁠_⁠←→⁠_⁠→
˖ ⊹ ࣪ 🍃˚₊ 𝑷𝒓𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅 #𝟐
         ⤷ After binging some absolute masterpieces last month, I’ve been hit with the worst kind of slump!! Like, I cannot get into anything—books, movies, kdramas, anime—you name it, I’ve tried it and failed atp. 😭 Sooo, I figured this is as good a time as any to dust off my “on-hold” shelf and clear a few more titles.

Now, I’ve either DNF’d or absolutely despised all the other books I've read so far in this series, but this one feels different. I got through almost half of it back in February before pausing (thanks to a slump), and now I’m actually pretty curious about where the story goes, especially cuz I absolutely adore Kimberly and want to give my baby the biggest hug ever!!! Though I am not sure how I feel about Xander yet 😬

[𖦹 marti 🕷️ · Rating 3 out of 5]

⋆⭒˚.⋆ ⠀⠀⠀[🍵🪷🫧₊⊹] 3.75 stars
I don't think I've ever read so many twists and turns in one book!!

❝the universe doesn't matter, green, you do. then. today. forever.❞

──── ౨ৎ… pre read
17/11/24. A BOOK ABOUT KIM AND KNIGHT? I absolutely can't wait. finally after 4 books I can read Kim's story, I'm so curious because I think Kim could become one of my favorite protagonists.


ⓘ 16/11/24. after 4 amazing books, I really hope with all my heart that this one will be good too.