'Hamlet realized that he was living in his dreams. Indeed, he had accidentally stepped into the world's greatest profession.'
Piyush Mishra's life has never followed a script. From a turbulent childhood in Gwalior to his years of artistic rebellion at the National School of Drama, and his complicated journey through fame, betrayal, addiction and self-sabotage, Mishra has always lived at the crossroads of despair and brilliance.
In Tumhari Auqaat Kya Hai, Piyush Mishra, a story resounding with dark humour and lyrical rage, he holds nothing back. Through his alter ego Santap Trivedi, also known as Hamlet, Mishra presents a brutally honest self-portrait—of a man grappling with the weight of expectations, the intoxication of celebrity life, the poignant struggle of relationships and the lifelong, restless pursuit of meaning through art.
Raw, unsettling and electric, this is a memoir unlike any other—it is a howl against conformity and a testament to survival. It is an ode to a life well-lived, in style.
Some lives aren’t meant to be neat and clean. They are messy, loud, and painful, but beautiful too, all mixed together. That’s what this book is all about.
It is Piyush Mishra, aka Santap or Hamlet, who tells us in his own voice the tale of the boy from Gwalior who had the potential to become something that people could not ignore. But stardom could not make him whole. With it came his own share of turmoils, including failures, addiction, broken associations, and the struggle between his artist self and his own self.
What lingers is just how truthful it is. There is no polish in these pages. There is only rawness, as if I am sitting with a friend across from me, relating with him things he wants me to know, things he wants me to understand: regrets, desires, all at once. He laughs with himself, with the world, and yet still finds beauty in pain.
This isn't a celebrity memoir; it's for anyone who has ever felt like an outsider, who has loved too hard, failed too often, and kept going anyway. It's about the cost of being different and the courage it takes to stay true to your art-even when you're breaking inside.
If you have ever wondered who may have been behind the powerful voice or the writer behind unforgettable songs, here he is unfiltered and unforgettable.
A book that doesn't just tell a story but makes you feel not quite so alone in your own hard struggles. A true howl from the heart.
There are some books that don’t just tell a life story, they unfold a person in front of you. Piyush Mishra’s " Tumhari Auqaat Kya Hai" feels exactly like that raw, restless, searching, and heartbreakingly honest.
You walk with him from the narrow lanes of Gwalior to the stages where he first found his voice, and eventually into the chaos and clarity of Mumbai. What stays with you is not just his art, but the way he fearlessly opens up the parts most of us hide the anger, the missteps, the loneliness, and the constant questioning of “am I enough?”
The narrative flows like a conversation between two versions of himself one living the moment, the other watching it from a distance. This gives the book a rare depth, making it feel less like a memoir and more like a soul talking to itself.
What touched me most is the emotional honesty. He doesn’t glamorise the struggles of being an artist. He writes about the weight of expectations, the fractures within families, the messy beauty of love, and the addictive pull of ambition with such sincerity that you’re drawn into his world without even realising it.
If you love reading the real journey behind an artist the imperfect, unfiltered path that shapes their art and identity , this book is a powerful experience. It reminds you that creation is not just talent, but a lifetime of surviving, breaking, healing, and choosing yourself again and again.
Tumhari Auqaat Kya Hai, Piyush Mishra is one of those books where you don’t just read someone’s life, you sit with their messiness, their memories, their ego, their regrets, their victories, and somewhere in between, you find a bit of yourself.
The plot of the book unfolds like a long, revealing conversation with Piyush Mishra. He takes you through his childhood in Gwalior, the early sparks of rebellion, the complicated family ties, and then into the chaotic, passionate years at the National School of Drama. You see him stumble, rise, get lost, get found, and then break apart again. His journey into theatre, Bollywood, music, fame, everything it took away and everything it gave back, comes through with brutal honesty.
What stood out to me is how raw and unfiltered the writing feels. He doesn’t romanticize his struggles. He doesn’t hide his flaws. He talks openly about insecurity, anger, identity, addiction, art, love, and the deep loneliness that often comes with being an artist. And that’s what makes it so relatable. Even if you aren’t from the world of theatre or cinema, that constant tug of war between who you are and who you want to be really connects.
The book is emotional, messy, philosophical, and sometimes uncomfortable but that’s exactly why it works. By the time you close it, you don’t feel like you’ve read a celebrity memoir. You feel like you’ve witnessed a man undress his soul and hand it to you without filters.
Tumhaari Auqaat Kya Hai, Piyush Mishra is an extraordinary, at times surreal, and deeply emotional exploration of Piyush Mishra’s life. The book takes readers on a journey that spans across Gwalior, Delhi, and Bombay, offering a personal glimpse into the highs and lows of his personal and professional evolution. Author invites readers to approach it as a novel, but it’s clear that the narrative of Hamlet mirrors his own struggles and triumphs.
The author recounts his path through rejection, loneliness, and countless mistakes, yet he remains ever-open to new experiences and opportunities. His resilience in the face of adversity, and his refusal to be defeated by life’s challenges, form the heart of the narrative. Mishra’s willingness to face obstacles head-on serves as an inspiring testament to perseverance.
The Harper edition beautifully captures his journey, with photos and portraits from various stages of his life, made me feel like I am witness to his experiences. Through clever use of pseudonyms, he portrays various influential figures—actors, directors, and others—adding layers of intrigue and mystique to the story.
This book felt a testimony to determination and fearlessness. Author did not shy away from challenges whether in his professional life at NSD, or in his personal relationships—offers an important lesson- success is reserved for those who are bold enough to embrace life’s challenges with open arms.
First a torn childhood, then a disorderly youth, then raveneous theatre, then alluring cinema & in the end Prayer.
This is one book that is beautiful right from the front cover [to every single word penned in it, the pictures (are majestic), the fonts, the formatting, the storytelling, the colour scheme] till the back cover. Everything is just perfect. Perfection (the book) in imperfection (the person).
I have always perceived Piyush Mishra as a cool, carefree, happy soul & as an enigmatic personality. I was really excited for this book especially when it was translated in english. Little did I know what I was putting myself into.. His madness, his conversations with himself, his restlessness, his struggle with intoxication, relationships & most of all, his fears.
I have always believed that the roots of everything that we are today, are in our childhood.
When I started reading about his childhood, I didn't have the slightest idea for the reason/s behind his fears, from
where did they stem.. the controlling character of Jidda the shrewd Bania the disgusting Santo Chachi death of Pinni..
changing his name from Priyansh to Santap Trivedi, being called Priya - Priya, Khoya- Khoya Chand..I couldnot read it anymore & had to close the book. My heart was full.
This is only a part of the life of the protagonist.. his continuous turmoil with himself, Mandi House, art- theatre, Panditji, Mumbai, money, (my heart goes out to)Jiya, alcohol, his friends, loss of loved ones, the spur of questions in his mind that kept on banging in his head.. there's so much in this book of around 250 pages.
I read it in bits & pieces and took breaks to absorb & recharge before reading the next few pages. Yes he has the resources & the money to do as he desire but he has travelled a very long journey, to reach here. Santo Chachi's prediction did come true but he had to lose so much on the way, to gain all this.
My heart goes out to this person, whose soul decided to face all these experiences in this birth. Sending him loads of love & blessings & the level of respect I had for him, has increased immensely.
In the end I would say, he's a wanderer a seeker but I believe he has finally found his "calm" in the chaos. _____ ✍🏻About the Author Piyush Mishra is an actor, poet, music director, lyricist, singer, script and dialogue writer, and a well-known theatre director and playwright. He spent his early life in Gwalior, where he received his education.
After his graduation from the National School of Drama, he started his career as a professional theatre artist and went on to write and direct several critically acclaimed plays. He has also featured in many Bollywood films and has contributed to them as lyricist, music director and script and dialogue writer as well.
Shillpi A Singh is an award-winning communications professional, journalist, and translator with over two decades of experience. She has worked with The Asian Age, The Times of India, Hindustan Times, and India Today, as well as with TERI and NABARD during India’s G20 Presidency.
As an independent journalist, her writings have appeared in leading Indian newspapers and magazines. She has also managed publicity for acclaimed films and books. As a translator, she has worked on Namwar Singh's Doosari Parampara Ki Khoj for Dr Akhilesh Kumar. ____ 📌Hamlet realized that he was living in his dreams. Indeed, he had accidentally stepped into the world's greatest profession.'
Piyush Mishra's life has never followed a script. From a turbulent childhood in Gwalior to his years of artistic rebellion at the National School of Drama, and his complicated journey through fame, betrayal, addiction and self-sabotage, Mishra has always lived at the crossroads of despair and brilliance.
In Tumhari Auqaat Kya Hai, Piyush Mishra, a story resounding with dark humour and lyrical rage, he holds nothing back. Through his alter ego Santap Trivedi, also known as Hamlet, Mishra presents a brutally honest self-portrait—of a man grappling with the weight of expectations, the intoxication of celebrity life, the poignant struggle of relationships and the lifelong, restless pursuit of meaning through art.
Raw, unsettling and electric, this is a memoir unlike any other—it is a howl against conformity and a testament to survival. It is an ode to a life well-lived, in style. _____ 𝑪𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒎𝒂 𝒕𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒕𝒐 𝒅𝒂𝒛𝒛𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒅𝒊𝒎 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒅𝒆𝒇𝒊𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆.
In an era when celebrity autobiographies often arrive as neatly packaged narratives of triumph, Piyush Mishra’s "Tumhari Auqaat Kya Hai" feels like a defiant anomaly, raw, unscripted, and disconcertingly intimate. It is less a memoir and more an excavation, digging through layers of pain, rebellion, creativity, and self-inflicted ruin to reveal a mind deeply shaped by conflict.
Written through his alter ego, Santap Trivedi, part confessional voice, part moral observer, the book dismantles the traditional autobiography and rebuilds it as a psychological document. He does not offer linear storytelling; instead, he offers candor, confrontation, and a relentless interrogation of the self. For an industry that thrives on manufactured perfection, his voice arrives like a rupture.
✨ Art as Catharsis, Not Performance
The author's recollections from the National School of Drama form the emotional nucleus of the book. Theatre emerges not as a career but as a sanctuary, a place where he learns to name his fears, negotiate his identity, and channel anger into expression. The memoir sharply positions art as a discipline that demands emotional nakedness long before it offers applause.
✨ Trauma as Blueprint
His turbulent childhood in Gwalior, marked by resentment, parental distance, and persistent emotional injuries, forms the psychological scaffolding of his life. These early fractures shape his romantic decisions, his creative temper, and even his addictions. He writes about trauma with uncomfortable precision; he neither sensationalises it nor minimises its impact.
✨ The Duality of Success
The memoir’s most compelling sections are its unflinching accounts of professional breakthroughs juxtaposed with internal disarray. Fame brings visibility but not peace. Even at the height of his artistic achievements, lyricist, actor, playwright, he remains in conflict with himself. His candid admission of self-sabotage, insecurity, and alcoholism challenges the conventional mythology surrounding “talented” individuals.
✨ Love as Persistence, Not Idealism
In a narrative dominated by turbulence, the quiet endurance of his wife becomes a stabilising axis. The author approaches his marriage with a humility that softens the narrative’s sharpest edges. Her unwavering presence, despite betrayals, disillusionment, and the chaos of his creative temperament, offers the memoir its rare moments of tenderness.
✨ Santap Trivedi: The Alter Ego as Literary Strategy
What distinguishes this memoir structurally is its inventive use of a fictional mirror. Santap is not merely a narrator but a moral counter-voice, observing, questioning, dissecting. The device creates a layered reading experience, transforming Mishra’s life story into a dialogue between the artist and the man he fears becoming.
✍️ Strengths :
✔ The author refuses to curate his image. He recounts his missteps, addictions, failed relationships, insecurities, and ego battles with startling transparency.
✔ The writing blends poetry with reportage, sharp, sensory, and emotionally volatile. Even in translation, the cadence of Hindi theatre rhythms remains intact.
✔ The memoir does not merely state events; it interprets them. He analyses his own contradictions with intellectual rigour and emotional courage.
✔ Few Indian memoirs offer such an authentic backstage view of theatre, cinema, rebellion, and the emotional cost of artistic ambition.
✒️ Areas for Improvement :
✘ The timeline shifts abruptly, sometimes compromising narrative cohesion. Readers unfamiliar with him may struggle to navigate the jumps.
✘ His internal battles, though integral, are revisited so frequently that certain passages feel circular rather than progressive.
In conclusion, it is a book that bleeds. It is sharp, unsettling, brilliant, and unapologetically human. The author strips away the glamour associated with artistic life and reveals instead the emotional wreckage, the spiritual hunger, and the relentless search for meaning that defines the artist’s journey. In a literary landscape where public figures often sanitise their past, the author's memoir is a daring act of rebellion, proof that authenticity still has a place in storytelling. It is essential reading for artists, dreamers, rebels, students of theatre and cinema, and anyone who has ever stood at the intersection of self-doubt and ambition.
Some books entertain. Some books provoke. And some books look straight at you and ask a question you’ve spent your whole life avoiding.
“Tumhari Aukat Kya Hai?” isn’t just a title — it’s a mirror.
This book doesn’t shout. It doesn’t preach. It simply places uncomfortable truths in front of you and waits for you to respond.
“Tumhari aukat wahi hai, jahan tak jaane ki himmat tum rakhte ho.”
Page after page, the book dismantles the idea of aukat — not as society defines it, but as we quietly accept it.
How much of our worth is shaped by fear? By comparison? By the limits we place on ourselves long before the world ever does?
“Aukat sawal nahi hai — dar yeh hai ki kahin jawab pata chal gaya toh jeena mushkil ho jayega.”
What struck me most is the rawness of the narrative. There is no softening of reality. No borrowed motivation. Just an honest confrontation with ego, failure, ambition, and self-respect.
“Hum apni aukat se nahi, usey swikar karne ki himmat se harte hain.”
At times, it feels like the author is speaking directly to you. At others, it feels like the voice inside your own head — the one you silence because it asks questions you’re not ready to answer.
“Tumhari aukat wahi nahi jo duniya batati hai — woh bhi hai jisse tum khud nazrein chura lete ho.”
This is not a book you rush through. You pause. You reread. You feel unsettled — and that discomfort is the point.
“Tumhari Aukat Kya Hai?” doesn’t define your worth. It asks whether you ever truly tried to find it.
A book that doesn’t end at the last page — because the real reading begins after you close it.
There was a time when Piyush Mishra was only a name in his own head.
Mumbai didn’t applaud him. It walked past him.
The city had no patience for poetry and no hunger for truth that didn’t sell.
He carried theatre in his veins and hunger in his pockets. Some nights, art was all he had. Most nights, it wasn’t enough.
He watched the world reward noise while silence learned how to survive. Watched faces change while he stayed stubbornly himself.
There were years when his voice cracked — not on stage, but inside.
And yet, he didn’t trade his words for comfort. He let failure season them. Let rejection give them weight.
When the world finally listened, it wasn’t because he arrived — it was because he endured.
Husna. Arziyan. Ghar.
These weren’t songs. They were wounds that learned how to sing.
Piyush Mishra’s life reminds us — aukat isn’t what the world gives you, it’s what you refuse to abandon when the world looks away.
Hamlet is not a man. He is a pause.
He is the moment when truth becomes too heavy to carry and action too dangerous to attempt.
He sees clearly — and that is his curse. Ignorance would have been kinder.
Hamlet knows the rot in the kingdom just as we know the rot in our own lives.
But knowing feels safer than doing. Thinking feels noble. Silence feels strategic.
So he waits. Not because he is weak — but because courage demands a price he is still counting.
Hamlet is the voice inside us that rehearses rebellion but chooses survival.
In “Tumhari Aukat Kya Hai?”, Hamlet becomes a question — not about intelligence, but about thresholds.
How much truth can you hold before it demands movement?
How long can you call hesitation “depth” before it becomes surrender?
Hamlet reminds us — your aukat is not measured by how deeply you understand the world, but by the moment you stop waiting for permission to change it.
This book is a jagged, self-lacerating memoir that uses fiction’s mask, Santap Trivedi a.k.a. Hamlet, to stage a brutally honest autopsy of the artist behind the cult persona. It is ambitious, and emotionally raw, but also uneven in pacing and occasionally indulgent in its own mythology.
Mishra traces a life from a turbulent childhood in Gwalior through NSD days, Delhi’s theatre circuits and the long, messy route to Mumbai fame, using Santap as an alter ego to narrate addiction, betrayal, failures and flashes of brilliance. The framing promises a memoir that is as much about inner chaos (ego, self-doubt, self-sabotage) as about external milestones like institutions, cities, etc.
The biggest strength of this literary piece is its emotional candour: Mishra does not hesitate to show himself as petty, cruel, insecure, or self-destructive, which gives the narrative an unusual moral honesty for a celebrity memoir. That honesty, combined with his instinct for dark humour and “lyrical rage”, creates passages that feel electric, especially when he writes about addiction, broken relationships, and the cost of art.
The book also doubles as a textured, insider chronicle of Gwalior’s small-town constraints, NSD and Mandi House’s theatre culture, and the underbelly of Bombay’s film world, which will fascinate readers interested in the ecosystems that produce “serious” actors.
The same intensity that powers the book often makes it structurally messy: it loops, digresses and lingers on certain episodes long after their emotional arc is clear, which can test patience in the middle sections. Mishra’s performative rawness sometimes starts to feel like a pose; in fact rage and self-loathing are turned up so high, so often, that they risk losing impact and nuance.
There is also a noticeable imbalance in how empathy is distributed: the narrative shows great compassion for the artist’s suffering self, but is less searching or self-critical when it comes to the collateral damage caused to people around him. This can make the book feel, at times, like an extended act of confession that stops just short of real accountability.
Stylistically, the book carries Mishra’s trademark mix of theatricality and poetry. That voice is distinctive, but readers unused to his heightened register may find it overwrought and exhausting in large doses.
As a document of a particular kind of Indian artist who is brilliant, and forever at war with both middle-class small-town roots and metropolitan fame, this book is compelling and often unforgettable. As a crafted memoir, it is powerful but flawed: emotionally searing, structurally baggy, and occasionally trapped in the romance of its own anguish. Readers who enjoy messy, unvarnished life-writing and are curious about the backstage of Indian theatre and cinema will find a lot to chew on; those looking for tight narrative control or reflective, healed distance from trauma may come away frustrated.
Tumhari Auqaat Kya Hai, Piyush Mishra is the autobiography of Indian actor, theatre artist, poet, music director, lyricist, singer, script and dialogue writer, theatre director and play-wright. For an artist with such immense stature, the title of the book is humbling, and the narration is raw and real. Originally written in Hindi, this is the English translated version.
The book traces his journey beginning from his childhood days in Gwalior living in a joint family, his complicated relationship with his family members, the trauma and life lessons learnt the hard way. One important takeaway from this phase is the new name he wanted to give himself and how the entire story is narrated through a character named Hamlet.
Next are the most important days at the National School of Drama (NSD) and Delhi’s Mandi House, where Piyush discovers the artist within himself, his glorious days in theatre, his initial refusal to leave being “The King” of Mandi House to explore a career in Mumbai movie world and also the emotional turbulence playing Hamlet.
The next is the darkest phase of his life where he had severe alcohol addiction that destroyed his career and relationships. The Auqaat in the title comes from this phase when he wondered about his real worth. The final sections are about him finally moving to Mumbai and the success that was waiting for a long time which he avoided for many years. This phase also discusses the origin of his most famous songs, his working relationship with movie directors.The book ends on a spiritual note of how he had overcome his demons and how Santap Trivedi and Piyush Mishra now co-exist.
Though this is a translated work, translator Shillpi A. Singh retains the soul of the original while giving readers the English version. The author begins the book questioning what is fear and it is interesting how the context to this fear changes throughout his life, as the various phases bring in different meanings to fear. The author’s idea of using Hamlet as the character is also an interesting take on how an autobiography can be written.
The pictures accompanying these pages give an insight into Piyush’s life over the years but the prose that captures his raw emotions is the real USP. It is rare for famous personalities to provide the reader a closer look at their inner psyche which makes this book an intriguing read. This honesty also means knowing the real life of a celebrity beyond their stardom and success. Thus the story also helps aspiring actors with a realistic look at fame and the darkness that accompanies it.
The book also captures the evolution of theatre in India along with what we refer to as parallel cinema. A brutally honest memoir that reminds how the greatest success of an artist is surviving the challenges of his own inner being.
Tumhari Auqaat Kya Hai, Piyush Mishra is a raw, unvarnished self-portrait that strips away the glamour of celebrity to reveal the highly sensitive human beneath with a dazzling intellect. From the very first page, Santap Mishra, Piyush Mishra's alter ego invites us into his world with startling honesty, accompanied by unseen photographs that feel less like publicity shots and more like private memories shared with a friend. He navigates the stark contrast of his life’s extremes, moving fluidly between moments of crushing despondence and episodes of dazzling brilliance. The narrative takes us back to a tumultuous childhood defined by poverty, where his family’s survival hinged on the financial support of a paternal aunt. His aunt's strong attachment to him and her wish to be his closest person add a poignant, complex layer to his early exposure to complex emotions. We follow his journey from these humble beginnings to the hallowed halls of the National School of Drama, where his raw talent began to take shape. His transition from the intense discipline of theatre to the chaotic world of cinema is depicted not as a simple victory lap, but as a grappling with the crushing weight of expectation. Every anecdote, every episode of Santap Mishra's life feels intimate, bridging the gap between the star we admire and the man who lived through the struggle. It is a testament to resilience, painting a picture of a life lived intensely and without compromise.
Beyond the biography, what truly resonates is the glimpse into the mind of the lyricist and composer whose work has moved so many of us to tears. Reading about the genesis of his songs offers a new depth to the melodies that have the unique ability to stir such profound emotions within us. The prose possesses the same lyrical quality as his compositions, hitting the reader with a rhythm that is both jarring and beautiful. However, I must offer a crucial piece of advice to anyone picking up this book: do not rush through it. This is a memoir that demands to be savoured slowly, allowing the heavy weight of each chapter to settle before moving to the next. Lingering on every page, every photo to understand the intricacies of his complex personality. To speed-read through his beautiful writing would be to miss the intricate textures of a soul laid bare. Each page offers a lesson on the volatility of the human condition, requiring time to process and reflect. It is rare to find an artist who remains so grounded while possessing such soaring talent, and this book captures that duality perfectly. By the end, you are left with a profound respect for the man who survived the extremes of his own existence to create art that heals others. Ultimately, this book is a precious gift to his fans, offering a vulnerability that is as haunting as it is inspiring. Highly, Enthusiastically Recommended!!
Being an ardent movie fan and an admirer of many renowned actors, my knowledge has mostly been limited to films from the Telugu, Tamil, and Malayalam industries. I usually browse through Prime Video and Netflix in search of films that match my mood, but my familiarity rarely goes beyond the names of the cast, director, music director, production house, and singers. This memoir, however, is the first time I’ve truly stepped into the life of an artist beyond the screen.
Piyush Mishra is a universe of talent within himself, an actor, scriptwriter, lyricist, and so much more. As a student at the National School of Drama, he captivated audiences with his plays. Despite his immense talent, he faced deep fears and inner conflicts, yet never allowed them to consume him. Through counselling and Vipassana, he learned to quiet his battles and discovered strength in spirituality, which eventually brought him peace and joy.
Reading his memoir was a new experience for me. It made me realise that even the most gifted individuals don’t always have life go their way. His story is rich with emotions, achievements, setbacks, struggles, and moments of happiness, all presented with honesty and depth. It feels as though his entire life has been lovingly placed within these pages. The memoir flows with an ease that draws you in, combining vivid details with photographs that lend it a warm, personal touch. The intricacies of his journey remind us that success isn’t simply about talent, it’s about persistence, resilience, and the will to keep moving forward no matter the challenges.
From losing the ability to stand to later travelling the world, every chapter of his life shows how transformative our decisions can be in shaping our destiny. The title itself is so compelling that I found myself drawn to the book instantly. I’ve read memoirs before, but never one from the film fraternity. While many exist, countless stories from the world of art remain unheard.
In Piyush Mishra’s memoir, you encounter the names of several celebrated artists who poured their hearts into theatre and cinema, often beginning with nothing but passion. This memoir is like a beautifully crafted album of his life so far, one that gently immerses you in the journey of a remarkable figure in the Hindi film industry.
Fear. It comes. It comes menacingly. It comes bursting. No one is spared from its arrival. Fear comes and then clings to your being. The reason? We don't know. We must know. Express your fear to someone. Shamelessly. The fear will leave. — Tumhari Auqaat Kya Hai, Piyush Mishra
As a movie buff I always liked Piyush Mishra and his performances. But I undisputedly fell in love with Santap Trivedi. From various sources (now freely available on the internet) we get to know about the life of an actor, their struggles, their peak performances but we often forget that they were merely humans once, they had to do everything in their power to reach the stardom they are at today, to be the stars they are today. We are often mesmerized by their glitz and stardom but a lot of life ought to have happened to make them who they are today.
This pictorial autobiography of Piyush Mishra a.k.a Santap Trivedi represents just that. The actor/author was once upon a time, just a boy with an old soul and big dreams.
It is indeed a raw, intimate, honest and delicate expression of Santap's life as it is. It's about being naive and young in love once. It's about the emptiness that follows. It's about the way you feel trapped in the body of a young man when deep down you know you're much more than that, an old soul probably.
It's about the generation gap, a perpetual disagreement between the parents and the children where it becomes almost impossible to make them understand what you're going through and somehow it makes you a difficult child to deal with and a toll it takes on your childhood, the adolescence and about how it shapes you as a person altogether.
If you're a fan of theatre and movies then this you'd enjoy the most and you'd get to know about the initial days of some of the prominent names in the industry and their long-lasting camaraderie and friendships.
Thank you @officialpiyushmishra for writing your heart out.
Honesty always touches your inner core & so did this memoir. I was already a great admirer of Piyush Mishra on big screen, but now I feel like I know him in person. And what a wonderful person he is! Amazing level of integrity which many a times ripped his image apart to give us the real raw picture of the man who not only struggled with his chaotic childhood and growing years in Gwalior but who also faced multiple challenges, obstacles and deceit from various people as well as from his own self due to his over sensitive nature. His constant search for the meaning of his life, his unquenchable thirst for theater, his weakness in face of constant failures plunging him into despair and alcoholism, everything is portrayed with soul baring candid language. His artistic life started from playing Shakespeare’s Hamlet while schooling in Gwalior, so he takes up this moniker in place of his own to write his memoir. He then comes to Delhi to study at NSD (National School of Drama) where he feels once again cheated by life because of landing there in turbulent times of change in the institution’s main staff members who had been the beacon of attraction for him, more so because of their replacements being not half as good as they were. So here , in one of his dejected moods he calls himself & thereafter also uses the name ’Santap’ for himself, which means sadness in Hindi. Resultantly in his entire memoir, he uses these two monikers in place of himself, Hamlet & Santap. Unique, yet attractive. From Delhi to Bombay, present day Mumbai, into the tinsel world of Cinema, his autobiography unravels many ugly layers of this industry. Yet his story grabs you tightly and makes you wonder, what spirit, what tenacity this man has? And I cannot end without saluting his wife Jiya, and his many loyal friends without whom he would not have been able to rise like a phoenix. Commendable man, commendable story.
☕︎ It stands somewhere between an autobiography and a personal confession. Known for his fearless writing, sharp lyrics and unconventional thoughts, Piyush Mishra uses this book to strip away fame, success and public image and confront the most uncomfortable question of all: Who are you really, when everything else is taken away?
☕︎ It is not written to impress or inspire in a motivational sense. Instead it unsettles the reader, forcing them to look inward. The narrative does not follow a straight timeline. It moves fluidly through memories, thoughts, emotional states and self-dialogue. The author presents his life through an alter ego, blurring the lines.
☕︎ His childhood and influences, confusion, curiosity, and rebellious decision - his journey to creativity and theatre journey shaped the struggle that he faced as a young artist. Life in Delhi and Mumbai - his dream class for the sense of survival. Failure, compromises, loneliness and hunger - all are a part of this life. For us, for him.
☕︎ The phrase “𝐓𝐔𝐌𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐈 𝐀𝐔𝐊𝐀𝐓 𝐊𝐘𝐀 𝐇𝐀𝐈?” is not an insult - it is a mirror. It questions this society's obsession with status, success and money. He wants to change the idea of progress. He wants to change the meaning of achievement via external meanings. He exposes how artists, dreamers and ordinary people alike constantly negotiate between who they are and who they pretend to be.
☕︎ Most of the time it feels the author is having a conversation with himself. Angry at a time. Questioning himself. One of the strongest aspects of the book is its language. The rhythm of the book is so on, as it feels like a tune and smooth. What Makes ir unique is its brutality. We are on the verge of feeling that exact anger, contradictions and vulnerability without any apology being given.
समझदार तो फँसा रहा ये सोचे क्या ये मुमकिन है और मूरख साला कर गुज़रा यूँ जोड़-जोड़े हर तिनका फिर बाद किसी ने बतलाया ओ मूरख भैया मालूम है? जो कर गुज़रे हो सच्ची बोलूँ वो साला नामुमकिन था!
'The wise one was caught up wondering whether it could be. The fool, on the other hand, went along with it, stacking twing upon twing. Only Later, someone said, O fool, did you know? What you have achieved had once seemed impossible'.
This is a story full of dark humour and lyrical wrath, and Piyush Mishra doesn't hold anything back via his alter persona Santap Trivedi, better known as Hamlet, Mishra provides a brutally honest self-portrait—of expectations, the intoxication of celebrity life, the agonizing struggle of relationships etc.
This book is a visceral, frightening, and electrifying memoir. Piyush Mishra shares his tale with the same searing honesty that has influenced his work and established him as one of India's most distinctive cultural voices. This is not the narrative of a single star, but of a restless renegade who has spent his life navigating art, contradictions, and self-discovery. It's an homage to a well-lived, stylish existence.
Readers will discover vulnerability, disobedience, and questions they may not have asked themselves while reading this novel. This book invites readers to explore, feel, and discover their own stories inside Santap Trivedi's story, rather than providing answers.
The book's honesty made me love it. The book features a lot of quotes that are the icing on the cake, along with a variety of images that make it too fascinating to read. Most significantly, I read this book as a novel rather than an autobiography as per the author's suggestions and this made the whole reading process an enjoyable journey.
I'll start off with putting it out there that I never rate memoirs for a simple reason that I am no one to judge anyone's life.
That being said, Tumhari Auqaat Kya Hai wasn't just another memoir. It was a canvas where each chapter was painted in fine brushstrokes and each memory a shade of light and shadow. Piyush Mishra wrote about his art and inspiration and yet somehow the writing became art. The pages expand beyond the frames of his life, stepping into the gallery of the reader’s mind.
Each chapter is hailed with poetry snippets scattered through like quiet refrain first in Hindi and then the English translation (which Shillpi Singh has done brilliantly). Small fragments of emotion distilled into a few lines deepened the narrative.
And then there was the third person writing. The deliberate detachment. It gave us space to truly see Piyush without drowning in the rawness of first-person confession. As if he stood on the other side of the room, watching his own life unfold, letting us observe with him. The distance made the intimacy sharper.
The memoir didn’t just tell us who the artist was. It revealed how art chooses its maker. How a life, when looked at closely enough, becomes a masterpiece, not because of the creations left behind, but because of the tenderness and turmoil that shaped them.
Every page is a portrait and every sentence, a finely drawn line. And by the end, you realize: this isn’t merely a recounting of a life lived. It is a work of art that asks you to feel, to reflect, to remember that stories, like paintings, are meant to be seen as is human lives.
@piyushmishra all I can say despite and inspite the hurt Mumbai meted out, I'm grateful you gave it another chance. Your music and words have brought a lot of happiness to many hearts.
“Tumhari Auqaat Kya Hai” is not just an autobiography it feels like a raw, unfiltered poem of a life lived on the edges of art, rebellion, pain, hope and redemption. The book charts the journey of Piyush Mishra from a small town childhood in Gwalior to the theatrical corridors of the National School of Drama, from the struggle-laden beginnings to the dizzying highs and intense lows of fame in the world of theatre, cinema, music, and poetry.
What makes the memoir special is its brutal honesty. Mishra through his alter ego Santap Trivedi does not shy away from confessing his fears, his stumbles, his addictions, his pain, his longings. He talks about childhood trauma, about being lost, about battling inner demons memories that many avoid, but that define the human beneath the artist.
Yet the book isn’t merely tragic or melancholic; it pulses with creativity, with hope. You feel the heartbeat of art as therapy the theatre rehearsals, the music, the poetry, the struggle for identity. The writing style candid, lyrical, sometimes harsh draws you in. It captures the grit of a dreamer who refuses to give up, even when the world seems to push him down.
By the end, reading it feels like witnessing a resurrection. Mistakes, failures, confusion all come full circle into understanding, into art, into a voice. As a memoir, it shines because of its vulnerability. As a story, it resonates because of its honesty. If you’re looking for something that’s not sugar-coated, something that is more than just fame or success something deeply human this book is worth every page.
Highly recommended for dreamers, artists, misfits, and anyone who wants to remember that from pain can emerge poetry from darkness, a voice.
”Fear is a Bitch-For some reason it clearly cannot be a Dog. Fear comes blazing, boiling, and barrelling. Its arrival is inevitable-because when fear comes knocking, not even its maker can hold it back.”
- Piyush Mishra, Tumhari Aukat Kya Hai Piyush Mishra
The first line sets the tone of the autobiography. Edgy, dark and honest are the three words that came to my mind when I started the book. Mishra pens his atmakatha alternating between his aliases Santap Trivedi and Hamlet. From a tumultuous childhood, he writes about his tryst with death when he lost his sister, Pinni. At an early age, he asked questions that made the adults uncomfortable and silent.
The Mandi House shaped him as a prominent personality in theatre circles when he excelled in the role of Hamlet. The writing style resembles a mosaic piecing the memories together into a beautiful artform. The non-linear narrative navigates to represent his phases of life that shaped him as a human. The book is strewn with Polaroid photos that capture fleeting instants of his journey—moments of triumph, vulnerability, and quiet introspection.
”It had to do with the student production presented by the second-year batch-Hamlet-which once witnessed, embedded itself in the audience's hearts, evoking astonished glances, a frenzy of madness.”
Personally, this is one of the books that made me wonder about my inability to read in Hindi. Tumhari Aukat Kya Hai Piyush Mishra by Piyush Mishra acts as a lens that does a very good job in capturing his fleeting moments that ultimately shaped him as a formidable force in the film industry.
Reading Tumhari Aukaat Kya Hai felt like sitting across from Piyush Mishra while he spoke with complete emotional nakedness. Page after page, I found myself pulled into a life that refuses to hide behind fame or perfection. His confessions, messy, impulsive, painful, hit me with a force I didn’t expect. It almost felt like I was reading someone’s private diary that I wasn’t supposed to have access to.
What struck me most was how visually and emotionally layered the book is. The bold cover, the gritty colour choices, the raw photographs amplified the mood of his story. The blend of Hindi and English, the poetic fragments scattered in between, and the casual tone made the entire reading experience feel intimate and real.
As I followed his journey from a restless childhood in Gwalior to the stormy hallways of NSD and then into the unpredictable worlds of theatre, music, and cinema, I felt every rise and every fall with him. His vulnerabilities, his anger, his addictions, his loneliness are all laid bare without apology. And then there’s Santap Trivedi, his alter-ego, stepping in like a sharp, analytical mirror. That dual voice gave the book a dimension I absolutely loved, it’s almost like watching a man argue with his own soul.
By the time I finished, I felt oddly healed. This memoir simply reveals with raw honesty. I found pieces of my own fears, frustrations, and longings reflected back at me.
If you enjoy books that feel like long, unfiltered conversations with someone who has truly lived, laughed, broken, rebuilt, and questioned everything, this one is a powerful, unforgettable read.
Piyush Mishra’s "Tumhari Auqaat Kya Hai" is the book that feels both intimate and intensely honest. The book traces his journey from a childhood in Gwalior to the stages of the National School of Drama, and eventually to the chaos, struggle, and discovery that shaped his life in Mumbai. What struck me most is how courageously he writes about his own vulnerabilities not just the successes, but the confusion, anger, heartbreak, and self-doubt that shaped him.
The storytelling is raw yet beautifully controlled. Author blends memory with reflection so naturally that the book often reads like a novel rather than a traditional memoir. His alter-ego, Santap Trivedi, adds another layer to the narrative, allowing him to question himself and observe his life from a different angle. It gives the book a unique depth, almost like two voices running parallel one living the experiences, the other analysing them.
What I truly appreciated is the emotional clarity. He talks openly about family dynamics, artistic frustration, ambition, addiction, love, and the weight of expectations. There is no attempt to beautify the painful parts, nor to exaggerate the highs. Everything is written with a sincerity that pulls you in.
For anyone who loves reading about the making of an artist the real, unfiltered, imperfect journey , this book is powerful. It captures the messy, demanding, but incredibly meaningful path of choosing art as a way of life.
A life has many faces. But not everyone has the courage to show them all to the mirror of society. And when the concerned person is a celebrity, even less so. Piyush Mishra, however, has bared his soul, bones and flesh to the world. He doens't claim to have written an autobiography though. He calls it a novel. He claims he doesn't have the temperament or mood to write an autobiography.
The book starts where most of the actors start: in the theatre. Mishra has christened himself as Hamlet and his journey starts from Mandi House in Delhi. Grappling with insecurities and disappointment, he never quit though. He has also written extensively about his childhood days. My favourite parts are from National School of Drama.
The book is filled with photographs from the actor's journey. The book is fat with nostalgia and achievement, sadness and good fortune, hard work and disappointment. An equal share for all emotions.
I had the incredible fortune of meeting Piyush Mishra in Chandigarh during one of his interviews, and the man was pure fire:raw, inspiring, and refreshingly honest about every twist and turn in his life. That same fierce openness, that unfiltered intensity, flows through the pages of his book. Though translated from Hindi, the soul of his story shines through as vividly as it does in the original language, reaching deep into the readers’ hearts.
Told through the lens of his alter ego, Hamlet, the book unfolds like a vivid tapestry capturing his childhood dreams, his passionate love for theatre, and the fearless defiance he showed toward his father. It takes you gently but firmly through his first innocent love with his teacher, his transformative days at the National School of Drama, the complicated affairs of the heart, triumphant breakthroughs in Bollywood, and raw, painful battles with alcoholism.What touches me most deeply is how the book pays quiet tribute to his wife ,a steadfast pillar through storms of struggle and temptation. Despite the many affairs and hardships, she never abandoned him. Her faith and courage are the threads that kept their marriage alive, a testament to love’s endurance in the face of chaos.
Beautifully enriched with vibrant photographs from his Gwalior days, evocative theatre performances, to intimate family moments ,this book is a living, breathing memoir you simply won’t be able to put down. Once you open it, you’re carried along by Piyush’s fierce spirit until the very last page, compelled by a story not just told but deeply felt.
Tumhari Auqaat Kya Hai is Piyush Mishra’s unfiltered examination of a life shaped as much by wounds as by talent. He traces his journey from a turbulent childhood in Gwalior—marked by emotional distance, confusion, and the ache of not fully belonging—to the discovery of theatre as the one place where he could finally breathe.
His admission into the National School of Drama becomes a crucible: friendships ignite, politics influence him, art consumes him, and personal contradictions begin to surface. Even as he grows as an artist, he begins to unravel privately—struggling with anger, jealousy, addiction, and the impossible expectations he sets for himself.
After NSD, his life fractures further. Poverty, rejection, and his own destructive habits almost swallow him as he moves to Mumbai in pursuit of work. Yet in the midst of this chaos, he carves out a place for himself—slowly, painfully—through performances and writing that carry the rawness of his lived experience.
His breakthroughs in films such as Maqbool, Gulaal, Black Friday, Paan Singh Tomar, and Gangs of Wasseypur come not as glamorous victories but as hard-earned confirmations that his voice has a place in the world.
But the real story of the memoir is not about fame; it is about the constant confrontation with ego, illusion, and self-deception. Mishra keeps returning to the brutal, necessary question: Who are you beneath the noise—beneath success, praise, rage, and fear?
By the end of the book, what emerges is not a portrait of a perfect artist but of a man who has finally learned to see himself honestly. His journey becomes a reminder that growth often begins where self-illusion ends.
Zindagi Ek Safar Hai ,Kuch Safar Asan ,Aur Kuch Safar Mushklio Bhare. Aise Hi Ek Safar Ki Shuruwat Hui "PIYUSH MISHRA " Ki in the book "Tumhare Auquat kaya hai"
The book feels like having a deep and honest conversation with a friend who tells everything from heart without sugarcoating..
It's an autobiographical story about Hamlet (Santap Trivedi) actually Piyush Mishra, shares his life's ups and downs,from growing up in a small town in Gwalior fighting with inner fears,to making it big in theater and films in Delhi and Mumbai...
The book dives into Authors inner world his struggles, his addiction, his complicated relationships, the loneliness of being an artist, and the constant fight to be true to yourself...All the venerabilites, pain ,struggles are shown in a very raw form in the book..
Authors always look for a constant inner search for purpose and calmness while find himself trapped in a confusing and overwhelming world.
The book is not just about his career or fame,it's about facing yourself, understanding your fears, your identity, and your purpose.
If you're into honest, heartfelt stories about art, life struggles, and self-discovery then, this book is a must-read..
ये किताब एक दिल से निकली आवाज़ है, जो कहती है कि चाहे कितनी भी मुश्किलें आएं, अपनी असली चमक दिखाने का रास्ता कभी खत्म नही होता। पढो तो मजा आएगा, बेहद ज़िंदादिल और इमोशनल सफर है "PIYUSH MISHRA "ji ka..
In 2025, I made a conscious effort to delve into memoirs. Previously, reading about individuals' lives was not something I particularly valued; my interest was primarily in fiction, which I often used to assess a writer's skill. However, after encountering several remarkable memoirs this year, my perspective shifted. Among these, "Tumhari Auqaat Kya Hai, Piyush Mishra" stands out as another exceptional journey, one I would readily recommend as essential reading.
Piyush Mishra is celebrated for his diverse contributions to theatre and cinema. This deeply personal memoir transcends a mere chronological account of his achievements and fame. It frankly explores the emotional wounds and scars stemming from tumultuous relationships and pivotal decisions that ultimately paved the way for his earned success.
The profound honesty displayed throughout the memoir, which might typically render one vulnerable, emerges as a genuine source of strength, empowering readers to navigate life's inevitable obstacles. Themes of loss, longing, addiction, evolving ideologies, and profound loneliness imbue this book with deep emotional resonance.
"Tumhari Auqaat Kya Hai, Piyush Mishra" is not only visually captivating but also reads like an intimate journal, enhanced by stunning photographs and compelling anecdotes. There is every reason to engage with this extraordinary book, which fearlessly unveils a soul and renders a life profoundly meaningful.
Tumhari Auqaat Kya Hai, Piyush Mishra is not a memoir that seeks admiration, it seeks truth. And Piyush Mishra gives it unsparingly.
Reading the book feels less like following a life story and more like being allowed into a restless, often uncomfortable conversation with a man who refuses to edit himself for approval. Through his alter ego Santap Trivedi—Hamlet—Mishra examines his own contradictions: ambition and self-loathing, rage and tenderness, devotion to art and deep fatigue with the world that consumes it. This is not a narrative of triumph; it is a record of survival.
What makes the book compelling is its refusal to romanticise struggle. Mishra writes about addiction, failure, broken relationships, fame, and self-sabotage with a rare clarity that neither excuses nor dramatizes. The voice is lyrical yet abrasive, humorous yet wounded, very much like the man himself. At times chaotic, at times piercingly self-aware, the book mirrors the inner disorder of someone who has always lived on the edge of creation and collapse.
By the end, there is no grand takeaway or manufactured inspiration. Instead, there is recognition. The quiet understanding that becoming oneself is not a straight path, that art often grows out of damage, and that simply continuing, imperfectly, honestly, is its own form of courage.
Tumhari Auqaat Kya Hai, Piyush Mishra stays with you not because it motivates, but because it feels lived. It is uncomfortable, electric, and deeply human.
𝐐𝐮𝐨𝐭𝐞: "In this journey called life, some milestones pass us by... Never to come back, never to come back."
𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐈 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬? I love reading memoirs, and since I genuinely admire Piyush Mishra’s writing and acting, picking this one felt like an obvious choice.
𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧: The cover looks striking and instantly sets the tone, and the colour palette beautifully matches the book’s mood. I also loved the pictures inside, they make the reading experience more immersive. The title itself is bold enough to pull readers in.
𝐎𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧: ✓ This memoir is raw and deeply personal, written with a kind of honesty that’s unsettling at times but also incredibly powerful. ✓ The poetic inserts were a delight, and having the original Hindi along with the English translation preserves both authenticity, emotion and accessibility. ✓ One takeaway that lingered with me is the simple truth that life moves in chapters, some we revisit, some we leave behind. ✓ It’s not a heavy read in terms of length, but emotionally, it makes you pause and reflect on the unseen battles people carry, especially the ones whom we see on screen. ✓ If you enjoy memoirs or admire Piyush Mishra’s work, this book is absolutely worth picking up. This one such book that will stay with you, and it will make you rethink your own strengths and circumstances.
Think of this book as an open window into a storm, a storm of art, pain, and relentless truth. Tumhari Auqaat Kya Hai, Piyush Mishra reads like a journal you weren’t meant to find, filled with confessions so raw they pull you close and don’t let go.
Piyush Mishra doesn’t just tell his story he relives it. From the narrow lanes of Gwalior to the bright, unforgiving lights of fame, he walks you through every high and low without smoothing the edges. Through his fictional voice, Santap Trivedi, he shares battles with addiction, creative hunger, broken relationships, and the quiet loneliness that often walks beside genius.
One of the strongest parts of the book is its translation. Even though it was originally written in Hindi, the English version doesn’t lose its spirit. The writing is lively, expressive, and full of feeling it’s easy to connect with. The translation keeps the energy and cultural richness of the original, which makes the story feel genuine and engaging.
If you enjoy real, unfiltered life stories about art, identity, and resilience, this book will stay with you. It’s not just about what happened it’s about how it felt, told in a way that is both powerful and deeply human.
'Tumhari Auqaat Kya Hai' by Artist Piyush Mishra is not just a memoir, but a deeply personal and a brutally honest, soul searching journey, looking back at the highs and lows that have shaped his own life. Written as a story of of his alter ego, Santap Trivedi, the book is a no holds barred, look back at a life most fascinating.
Though an autobiography, the book is written like a novel, narrating the story of Santap Trivedi, the author's alter ego. From the author's early years at the National School of Drama, and a dramatic career full of ups and downs, from struggle to fame to anxieties and failures, each chapter is like watching a Shakespearean play unfold right before your eyes.
Each chapter is a kaleidoscope of emotions, a portrait of a particular phase of life, or different lives woven together. The narratives blends poetry and lyrical prose. But what stands out from the narrative is the honesty, laying bare the struggles, the frustrations and the failures, without sugarcoating any of them.
Overall, 'Tumhari Auqaat Kya Hai' is a masterpiece of a biography, both in terms of scope and execution. A great for everyone.
Piyush Mishra's work is a powerful blend of emotion, intensity, and unflinching honesty, and this book masterfully captures that essence. The title 'Tumhari Aukaad Kya Hai' holds up a mirror, reflecting the harsh truths of society, art, and sometimes, his own self.
With a captivating blend of personal anecdotes, forthright views, and thoughtful introspection, Mishra explores themes such as power, identity, ego, the struggles of artistic expression, and the delicate balance between authenticity and pretence, presenting his ideas with a bold, engaging theatricality that is both thought-provoking and riveting.
What truly resonates is his voice, which is not only fearless and poetic but also deeply rooted in real-life experiences, offering genuine guidance. The book unfolds like an inspiring conversation with a man who has navigated the world's complexities, faced setbacks, and still remains remarkably honest and relatable.
This book is ideal for fans of Piyush Mishra's work in theatre, music, and poetry, as well as readers who appreciate bold and unfiltered writing, and those who enjoy reflective, opinionated, and artistic narratives.