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Bartender: A Simple guide to Knowing your Customers
Every bartender has stories. This book explains WHY.
Bars are strange little theaters — equal parts comedy show, confession booth, and social experiment. After enough nights behind the bar, you begin to notice customers fall into the same patterns, the same personalities, and the same legendary behaviors. This book reveals all of them in vivid, hilarious detail.
Inside these pages, you’ll
• The Casanova — mistakes professional kindness for romance
• The Philosopher — drunk “wisdom” no one asked for
• The Notifier — announces every move like breaking news
• The DJ — tries taking over the entire playlist
• The Romantic — writes poetry on cocktail napkins
• The Almost-Fight Guy — wants a fight… until it’s offered
• The Accountant — audits his bar tab like a tax return
• The Historian — repeats the same story every night
• The Jabber Jaw — talks without pausing to breathe
…and many more unforgettable personalities every bartender knows too well.
With long-form descriptions, fun illustrations, and bar-etiquette reminders woven throughout, this book is a comedic field guide to the characters who show up every night — and the bartenders who survive them.
Whether you’ve worked behind the rail, sat at the bar, or simply love sharp humor about real people, this book pulls you into the comedy, chaos, and truth of bar culture.
Perfect for bartenders, servers, bar regulars, hospitality workers, or anyone who loves a good laugh.
Bars are strange little theaters — equal parts comedy show, confession booth, and social experiment. After enough nights behind the bar, you begin to notice customers fall into the same patterns, the same personalities, and the same legendary behaviors. This book reveals all of them in vivid, hilarious detail.
Inside these pages, you’ll
• The Casanova — mistakes professional kindness for romance
• The Philosopher — drunk “wisdom” no one asked for
• The Notifier — announces every move like breaking news
• The DJ — tries taking over the entire playlist
• The Romantic — writes poetry on cocktail napkins
• The Almost-Fight Guy — wants a fight… until it’s offered
• The Accountant — audits his bar tab like a tax return
• The Historian — repeats the same story every night
• The Jabber Jaw — talks without pausing to breathe
…and many more unforgettable personalities every bartender knows too well.
With long-form descriptions, fun illustrations, and bar-etiquette reminders woven throughout, this book is a comedic field guide to the characters who show up every night — and the bartenders who survive them.
Whether you’ve worked behind the rail, sat at the bar, or simply love sharp humor about real people, this book pulls you into the comedy, chaos, and truth of bar culture.
Perfect for bartenders, servers, bar regulars, hospitality workers, or anyone who loves a good laugh.
9 pages, Kindle Edition
Published November 24, 2025
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