Staying True to You: Unlock the Power of Your Middle Self and Live with Confidence, Integrity, and Peace of Mind

by Patricia Faison Hewlin

A "compelling" (Amy C. Edmondson) and "transformative" (Adam Galinsky) playbook for balancing the pressures of conformity and authenticity, from an award-winning behavioral scientist.

"Just be yourself” is popular advice that most of us hear throughout our lives. But what sounds like simple wisdom is much more complex in today’s world. All too often, we feel a gap between our private selves and how we behave and appear to others in our work and in our relationships. How can we avoid feeling “fake?” And how do we reconcile our instinctive need for belonging with our simultaneous desire to express our authenticity?   

Behavioral scientist Dr. Patricia Hewlin explores the delicate dance between authenticity and conformity we navigate daily by drawing from her decades of research. As she uncovers, the pressure to be “real” can be as debilitating as the pressure to stay silent and conform. When we swing too far in either direction, we become drained, plagued by self-doubt, and disengaged. 

In Staying True to You, Hewlin introduces the breakthrough concept of the “middle self,” and demonstrates how this in-between persona can allow us to show up in the world, no matter the situation, with confidence and clarity about our values, and peace of mind. When we empower our “middle self,” we can make thoughtful decisions, stop feeding toxic patterns, face demands and pressures head-on, and build a more satisfying relationship with the world around us.

With practical strategies throughout, Staying True to You is an essential roadmap to guide you toward identifying your unique strengths and finding a path to a new, more deliberate, more empowered way of working and interacting with others—essentially a new way of living.

304 pages, Hardcover

Published August 25, 2026

Reviews

[Jay]

Few books stay with you after you finish them — this one does. Staying True to You is thoughtful, beautifully written, and grounded in the author's decades of research. Dr. Patricia Hewlin takes you from her childhood in Queens to the lived experiences of people navigating authenticity in their daily lives, and she does it with clarity and grace. What struck me most is how seamlessly her intellect comes through her warmth. You feel the depth of her scholarship, but you also feel her humanity on every page. This book helped me rethink what it means to “be yourself” in a world that constantly pulls us toward conformity on the one hand and extreme authenticity on the other. I’ll be first in line for Staying True to You II.

[Melissa P.]

👧 Won in a giveaway 💆‍♀️

I am in the minority with my rating, I know. Everyone else, so far, has given it 5 stars but I just can't. This book was incredibly boring to me. I have read my fair share of self help books. Some really keep my attention and some just drone on. This one was the latter for me. I couldn't wait for it to end. I don't know how many times I read the words "authenticity" and "conformity" but I think I'm good for life now. Others liked this book so if you're interested, give it a go. Just wasn't for me. Thank you to the author, Patricia Faison Hewlin, PhD, Penguin Random House and Goodreads for my uncorrected proof copy. Happy reading. 🙈

[Maddie Small]

A really interesting exploration to how we present ourselves privately and publicly. Microaggressions can have a deep psycholigical effect on others and we need to be conscious of how we carry ourselves and the words we choose. Really well thought out with many scenarios showing the ideology's application.