The Make-Believe: A Memoir of Magic and Madness

by Hannah Murray

A wrenching, lyrical memoir by Skins and Game of Thrones star Hannah Murray, exploring the spiritual awakening that turned into a mental breakdown, and the healing made possible when we learn to save ourselves

He sat me down in a chair and he told me, in no uncertain terms, that magic is real. Magic is real. Three words that bound me to him. To his world of make-believe.

From her breakout role as a teen actor on the cult TV show Skins, to critically acclaimed movies, to the smash hit Game of Thrones, Hannah Murray built a career in Hollywood cracking open her own psychological foundations and pushing her body to its limits. But one day, the line between make-believe and reality disappeared, and she found herself confined to a psych ward, dangerously in love with the leader of a shadowy wellness organization, and believing in magic. How she got there—and how she managed to rebuild her life—is the heart of this gripping, powerful memoir that How far would you go to find enlightenment?

For Hannah, it was deceptively easy to fall down the rabbit hole. As she struggled with her mental health, she sought help in the form of wellness and self-care. After an eye-opening session with an energy healer, Hannah was introduced to an organization that she was told would bring her further spiritual rewards. Enthralled by its charismatic leader and his teachings of a world filled with magic and meaning, Hannah found herself sucked into a rigorous practice involving high control and financial outlay. And as her sense of reality began to slip, eventually resulting in her hospitalization and diagnosis with bipolar disorder, she realized she had fully ceded control of her life to this mysterious organization. And, she thought, as she reckoned with the Hollywood career that conditioned her to give her body and soul over to others, maybe she’d been doing that her whole life.

Both a cautionary tale and a cry for radical empathy, Hannah’s story of learning to trust herself will resonate with anyone who has struggled to find agency. The Make-Believe is a probing exploration of womanhood and mental health, and a search for the healing that comes when we reclaim our own narratives.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Audiobook, Mental Health, Biography Memoir, Biography, Cults

290 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 28, 2026

About the author

Hannah has been reading romance novels since she was young enough to have to hide them from her mother, and decided to try her hand at writing one when she realized the book she really wanted to read lived in her head. That was a dozen years and as many manuscripts ago, and there are still more stories to be told.

She lives in the Pacific Northwest with her husband—former Special Forces and an OR nurse who writes fantasy fiction, and acts as In House Expert for his wife on matters pertaining to weapons, tactics, the military, medical conditions and How Dudes Think—and their daughter, who takes after her father.

Hannah loves to hear from readers, and will answer questions here on Goodreads.

Reviews

[Holden Wunders · Rating 5 out of 5]

There are a lot of beautifully told celebrity memoirs and utterly moving cult survival stories, this happens to be both.

I grew up watching Hannah Murray on Skins and Cassie felt so close to home when it comes to the female experience and unfortunately there’s a lot of reason for that far beyond the talent of her as an actress. While this story doesn’t go into depth on her time in Skinsor Game of Thrones, they are of course mentioned as they are a part of her story.

Instead we focus on her humanity and frankly, it’s so much better than a tell-all of set days. People tend to forget actors, artists, and celebrities are just people trying to survive and this is a true testament on that.

We follow Murray on her journey towards healing and how warped and abused she was while fighting for something so wholesome. It’s definitely a rough story to hear. There is a lot of toxicity, abuse, mental health struggles but all you want to do is hold her through the tough times and remind her she will make it through.

This was an absolutely beautiful story and in the likeness of Jennette McCurdy, Murray has a voice and I truly hope she continues writing.

[Tina · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a must read!! I can’t believe what I’ve just read. Raw, shocking and impossible to put down, Hannah Murray’s memoir offers a fascinating and deeply unsettling insight into psychosis, vulnerability and the search for answers. Beautifully written, thought provoking and unforgettable.

I knew nothing about Hannah Murray before picking up this book. The memoir explores how she became involved in a wellness cult, which fuelled a devastating mental health crisis that ultimately led to her being sectioned and diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

Along the way, Hannah writes about trauma, spirituality, drugs, sex, friendship, heartbreak, therapy, healing and self discovery. Her reflections are thoughtful and articulate, and I found myself completely drawn into her story.

What I found most upsetting was how easily her vulnerability was exploited. It was frightening to see how manipulative groups can prey on people who are searching for belonging, purpose or healing, and how spirituality can be twisted by those with harmful intentions.

I genuinely couldn’t put this book down and finished it in just two days. The subtitle, A Memoir of Magic and Madness, perfectly captures what lies within these pages. Reading about mental health or psychology isn’t usually for me, but I really hope more people pick up this book. It’s fascinating, eye opening and one that will stay with me for a long time.

[Lukes · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a truly phenomenal memoir. It’s so immersive and pacy that you almost forget this stuff actually happened. Hannah Murray really bares her soul here and I feel like she has a hugely successful career in writing ahead of her after this 🌟

[Julie Tingberg · Rating 4 out of 5]

Flew through this. The further I read, the more I found myself forgetting that I was reading a memoir - mirroring Murray’s own deteriorating ability to distinguish reality from fantasy during this period of her life. It’s an immersive and raw depiction of mental illness and of how someone vulnerable can, little by little, be drawn into cults in search of meaning.

Also, fuck Steve - not only for being a prick, but also for making me sit here with the lingering question of why on earth Kung Fu Panda 2 wasn’t on the cult’s movie watch list when the first and third were.

[Lilac Moon · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think this book is not so much about being in a cult as it is about finding out you have a mental disorder. Yes, she was in a ridiculous cult that charged her a lot of money for ridiculous classes, but unless they were actively drugging you, I don't think you can blame them for having a psychotic break.
Especially when you do as many drugs and alcohol as she does.

She just has a very obsessive personality. She gets obsessed with boys the same way she got obsessed with "magic" and with her mother's miscarriages. Also, this book should have been called 'Magic is real' because she says it so many times.

And I don't understand how are her parents so awful; she never gives us a clear example.

Anyway, I'm glad she's doing better now and I must see a photo of the wand.

[georgia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Naturally I listened to this book as soon as it came out, being an OG Skins fan.

Hannah Murray struggled with mental health during her late 20’s, and ended up consorting with an interesting bunch of people - an organisation called The Modern Mystery School. Pretty woo woo stuff.

While I don’t deny that these people jumped on the chance to sell Hannah their courses, I don’t buy the narrative that she was a victim of a cult. From my perspective, it was instead an unfortunate and rare unfolding of events. Hannah at the time had undiagnosed Bipolar Disorder, and engaging in these spiritual courses triggered an extreme psychotic break for her. For much of the book, we follow her POV during her psychosis, including her time in a psych ward. The members of the organisation made it clear that she didn’t need to keep in contact, that she could leave at any moment, but in her psychosis Hannah was completely obsessed with a man named Steve - the leader of the organisation. She was persistent in initiating contact with him, and even a year after her hospitalisation chose to attend more courses.

I just felt weird about how it was all framed in the end. Sure, the prices for their courses were extortionate and the subject matter was ridiculous, but I did not get abusive or coercive vibes from the organisation at any point.

All of that aside, I appreciate the insight into what it’s like for someone going through psychosis, as it’s not something I’m very familiar with, and also shedding more light on the challenges of Bipolar Disorder.

It’s clear Hannah has a vivid and creative imagination and this came through in her writing, which was quite beautiful at times.

So I guess all up it was an okay read.

[Emily Katy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hannah Murray, actress from Skins and Game of Thrones, has bravely and candidly shared her mental health journey in her memoir. Following joining a cult that promised magic, healing and spiritual awakening, Hannah suffered a psychotic episode, was subsequently sectioned and diagnosed with bipolar disorder. This is an honest and brave account of what it is like to lose control over your own mind.

[Stacie Scanlon · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don’t like rating memoirs on the lower end of the scale as they’re deeply personal. However, I just found her to be a profoundly irritating person that made a series of questionable life choices before she even got into the situation the book is about. I just struggled to like her- as awful as that sounds. She also uses a lot of crude language, which made me feel uncomfortable.

I also found the memoir went through events so fast and I’m not sure I actually understood the severity of the situation/group she found herself in. I was expecting this to be similar to ‘Dinner for Vampires’ which was excellent and it’s really nothing like it. Perhaps this disappointment has skewed my view of the book a little!

[Abby · Rating 2 out of 5]

When I saw that Hannah who portrayed Cassie on Skins had written a memoir I was elated. Hannah Murray dominated the Tumblr era during my teen years and I was intrigued to know how life had gone for her post Skins. Sadly this went a different way than I expected, I was hoping for a memoir along the writing style of Dinner for Vampires and I'm glad my mom died. The writing feels detached like an account of someone else's experience and even when she tries to reflect it doesn’t really feel believable. I will say she bravely recounts this era of her life without painting herself in a better light and I respect that so much. I do believe stories like these are important for those struggling with mental health and addiction because when you're most vulnerable, you're more susceptible to being taken advantage of. This does contain explicit material and profanity so please procced with caution. Sadly that was also another reason I did not enjoy this memoir.

[Ollie Martin · Rating 5 out of 5]

feels pretty odd to say I loved this given the content and what Hannah went through, but my god did I. beautifully written, introspective and lucid, I could have read another 400 pages. perfect mix of celeb memoir, literary flair and wild subject matter; thank god she survived to write it

[Alice Hadaway · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5! ⭐️

This felt deeply confessional in a way that makes you feel less like a reader and more like you’re sitting across from a best friend, listening to them unravel their thoughts in real time. Hannah Murray writes so beautifully and descriptively, where even the smallest observations feel vivid.

I especially loved the interrogative nature of the prose: the rhetorical questions, the constant probing and circling of thoughts, which made the book feel intimate and searching. There’s a fascinating blurring between reality and imagination throughout, as though we’re being pulled directly inside her mind.

What stayed with me most was the honesty of it. She lays herself completely bare on the page, and because of that, the ending hit me far more emotionally than I expected.

[Courtney · Rating 5 out of 5]

What Hannah Murray does here is nothing less than sawing open her own sternum, pulling apart her ribs like a demented butterfly and letting everything out. It is, perhaps, one of the most visceral reading experiences I have ever had.

Often the severity of mental health issues is brushed over, barely spoken of and still taboo. As a society we can barely reckon with the symptoms of depression and anxiety. Oh we can acknowledge they exist but we stumble when it comes to how these things actually impact people in the scope of hygiene, nutrition and general activity. Often, when we talk of mental health issues, we self censor, we strip the truly ugly out of it. Murray does not bother with this. And while her memoir is just as much about how easy it is to slip into the clutches of a cult, the heart of it is how ugly things can get inside ones own head.

The prose is good. Occasionally repetitive in spots. But I think this might have been a choice reflecting Murray's mental space at the time. She is unashamed in how she writes about her life at the time, recreational drug use, reliance on alcohol, an unhealthy relationship with food and family, and some boundary issues. It's, at first, maybe off-putting such a display of raw inner life, then also extremely comforting in its humanity. We all have inner ugly parts.

Divided into parts, Murray relates an intense filming experience that leads her to her first interaction with what she calls "the organisation". A healing that is another intense experience which Murray feels compelled to continue chasing once she returns home. As the hooks of "the organisation" slowly slip into her, so slip away the hooks that Murray retains on her own sense of reality leading to a horrendous episode in a bathroom at a hotel in which then lead to being sectioned by the NHS.

An amazing, harrowing, occasionally chilling and yet warming read.

[Lauren · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hannah Murray the woman you are. Raw and utterly absorbing - one I’ll be thinking about for a while.

[aglae]

Thank you to the publishers @penguinuk for this one!

This memoir was unlike anything I've ever read.
Hannah Murray's writing is vivid and simple, but flows very well; and had such nice pace that the events happening, which were so crazy, felt like reading fiction.
I truly appreciated the way her writing took on different forms as she was recounting different events. I found the prose reflecting her mental state of the time, to be very effective in explaining the effect of the cult on her mind. I think that's what I liked best.
Hannah is relatable and funny, and I was fascinated the whole time with her story!
You empathize with her early on, and it makes you 'understand' why she gets involved in this cult. Makes you even wonder, if you'd been in her shoes, whether you would have gotten involved too!

[Marni Rose · Rating 4 out of 5]

this was an incredibly intense and difficult read & i have an immense amount of respect for murray for how honest this memoir is. she really takes you on a journey where you have no idea what is real and what is not, and slowly unravels the narrative and shows the complicity and coercion of the organisation she falls in with. this book feels like an exposed raw nerve and is really uncomfortable, but incredibly well put together.

[Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting and thought provoking insight into the reasons why a person can be drawn into a high control group. I went into this expecting a lot more detail on the organisation’s dynamics, but I’m glad that the focus was much more on her own mental wellbeing, motivations for joining, and ongoing recovery.

I always feel bad rating memoirs less than 5 stars as someone has taken the time and vulnerability to share their story, but the writing wasn’t the strongest in my opinion.

[Ruth Davies · Rating 4 out of 5]

Amazingly vivid depiction of psychosis but I found it easy to get lost in her world and was seeking some alternative perspective for more context … perhaps the point but still a little jarring to read at points

[Taylor Penn · Rating 5 out of 5]

TLDR; Hannah Murray goes to emotional places that I wouldn’t go with a gun.

If you’re like me and grew up watching Skins UK, particularly the first series, you’ll remember Cassie, the 17-year-old blueprint for the manic pixie dream girl, played by Hannah Murray. If you’re picking up The Make-Believe expecting behind-the-scenes stories from Skins and Game of Thrones, you won’t find many. While both shows are naturally part of Hannah’s story, this memoir focuses on a much later chapter of her life—beginning with my home, the city of Detroit.

Hannah recounts the years between 2017 and present, tracing the path from filming Detroit (2016, directed by Katherine Bigelow) into her joining what first appeared to be a wellness organization but slowly reveals itself to be a manipulative cult. She writes about the emotional and psychological tactics used to keep her there, her deep belief in magic, her eventual mental health crisis, being sectioned under the Mental Health Act, and the long, difficult process of reclaiming her sense of self.

The first thing I have to say is that Hannah Murray’s memoir is written exceptionally well. We’ve treaded the familiar ground of celebrity-cult-memoirs before, and we’ll continue to see them because they are endlessly interesting. But what makes The Make-Believe different is how deeply Hannah has examined her own experience. It’s clear that she has spent years trying to understand what happened to her. Rather than simply outlining specific events, she walks us through how her way of thinking was gradually changed over time, giving language to moments of manipulation and self doubt that are impossible to articulate if you’re still in the muck of it. I was constantly struck by how clearly she could look back at one of the darkest periods of her life without losing compassion for the person she used to be.

As I’m writing this review, my husband and I are sitting in our living room on the east side of Detroit, watching the aforementioned film named for our city. What really surprised me was how much the city itself became a part of her story. This movie was the first domino in Hannah’s vulnerability and later, the people leading “The Organization” repeatedly used the city’s outdated reputation and checkered past to keep Hannah scared of the “demons” that possessed her and dependent on the cult for safety. Detroit is a city I love, and seeing it reduced to a tool for manipulation made me see red.

At its core, The Make-Believe isn’t about fame, or even the cult itself. It’s about what happens when someone searching for meaning/community crosses paths with people who know exactly how to exploit that search. More than anything, though, it's about finding your way back. Hannah Murray has written a thoughtful, gripping memoir that never lets go of its humanity.

Thank you to Netgalley, Random House and Hannah Murray for the arc. The Make-Believe comes out this Tuesday!

[Annaliese · Rating 4 out of 5]

In and around 2016-2017, English actress Hannah Murray unsuspectingly became part of a wellness “organization”, beginning with reiki-like energy healings suggested to help her heal from an unsettling experience while filming. In a period which she calls “the make-believe”, she would go on to spend thousands of pounds on magic courses, talismans, and fetish objects, and grow more deeply involved with, and detrimentally dependent on, the “organization” and the people within. Combined with trauma from life and past acting experience, as well as undiagnosed bipolar disorder, Murray suffered a mental crisis and was sectioned in a psychiatric ward for three weeks. Her journey to mental hell and back is refreshingly realistic and demonstrates the lingering impact of that kind of influence on a person’s life. In the memoir, she shares vignettes about the other people whom she meets in the courses, showing that any kind of person can fall under the spell of “magic”, healing, and potential betterment. She writes elegantly about how seeds of doubt were sowed in her mind, even from very early on, and doesn’t hold back from personal details about what she went through.

I never watched Game of Thrones and barely got past a few seasons of Skins (both being Murray’s most notable features), but I requested this ARC because she was a part of God Help The Girl, a very formative movie/soundtrack for me. While she doesn’t mention this role at all in the book, her story is so captivating that I didn’t need to know her other acting work in order to appreciate her experience. As I mentioned, it is a very realistic portrayal of her breakdown, with no dramatization or skipped detail. She is open-hearted, brave, and straightforward, and after reading The Make-Believe I admire her even more.

I received an eARC from NetGalley, The Dial Press, and Random House in exchange for an honest review. Thank you!

[Sara R · Rating 4 out of 5]

An absolutely wild ride.

I loved this earnest memoir of depression, psychosis, and surviving a pyramid-scheme cult.

In the beginning, I found the writing a tad repetitive (if you drank every time she says 'magic is real' you'd have to call an ambulance fairly quickly) and thought I knew where it was going - but it surprised me again and again.

Ultimately a beautifully told story about the way that the wellness industry (from reiki healings to classes about mermaids or Cleopatra's beauty) exploits fragile people, and how much situationships suck (we all hate Sam, yes?)

The details of the magic schools were harrowing, hilarious, mundane, generally riveting. The contrast between how ridiculous this cult was, with expensive classes that pilfered any sort of 'spiritual' practice from any culture, the sadness of its members looking for meaning in life, and the predatorial nature of its head.

[Katy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cameron and I listened to this as an audiobook during our Scottish road trip and what a brilliant pick it was! I fell in love with Hannah Murray as Cassie when I used to rebelliously stay up until 11pm watching Skins on the tiny portable TV in my childhood bedroom. Getting to know the real Hannah was equally as compelling.

Yes, the headlines of the book were Hannah’s indoctrination into a dangerous ‘healing’ cult and her subsequent descent into psychosis, but my overall interpretation was that it was really about a young woman’s search for her sense of self in an overwhelming world. Having had some of my own struggles, I related to a lot of Hannah’s story. I totally respect her for telling it so candidly and vulnerably. I really believe this will open up a lot of discourse about the ‘scarier’ mental health conditions that we’re still reluctant to talk about.

I went away feeling a sense of affinity with Hannah and a vicarious joy that she is now doing well after everything she has been through.

[Jodie-Louise Theyer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have always loved Hannah Murray in every role I've seen her play, so I was really intrigued to read this and it absolutely didn't disappoint.

The way she writes is stunning. Beautifully descriptive without ever feeling too much. I felt like I was right there beside her as she descended, Alice in Wonderland style, into psychosis.

It's utterly heartbreaking, completely raw, and one of the most insightful memoirs I've ever read.

What really stayed with me though was how it highlights just how easy it can be for anyone to get pulled into something harmful when they're vulnerable and searching for answers. Whether it's cults, MLMs, or any group promising certainty, it was a sobering reminder that nobody is as immune to that kind of influence as they might like to think.
What I found particularly unsettling was how ordinary it all seemed. Hannah describes attending meetings in hotels, and there's something strange about that. It's not some secret compound hidden away from society, it's just normal people in a normal place, carrying around a secret that nobody else can see.

I came away with a huge amount of empathy, but also a much greater awareness of how these things happen in the first place.

[Abbie ✨]

This was the most beautiful, heartbreaking, sincere memoir I’ve ever read.

I’m still gathering my thoughts, but wow. Will edit once I’ve sat with it for a lil while!!

Thank you to the publisher for my gifted proof copy x

[Amani · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heartbreaking 💔

[Valentina · Rating 4 out of 5]

ponerle un puntaje estrellístico me parece una idiotez en este caso, pero lo hago igual para que se entienda que vale la pena leer el libro!!! admiro muchísimo a hannah por poder contar su historia. no sé explicarlo bien pero por partes me recordó a la campana de cristal de plath

[k.eela · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5⭐️ wow, I’m so glad I picked this up! Terrifying, real and raw❤️‍🩹

[Tim Hill · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was absolutely incredible.

Hannah's writing style is unique, and it makes you want to just continue reading. She remembers moments in specific detail, which is such a skill when writing a memoir. I can't even imagine how reliving these confusing and traumatic years must've felt.

The book is strangely relatable, in a way. While I've never found myself lured in by a cult, I've definitely struggled with my mental wellbeing in some of the ways Hannah describes. I can see how easy it would be upon finding something that helped alleviate the pain, latching on and holding tight, ignoring any red flags.

Thank you for sharing your story, Hannah.

[Meg · Rating 5 out of 5]

I grew up watching Cassie in Skins and Gilly in Game of Thrones, but knew almost nothing about Hannah Murray herself.

The Make-Believe is an incredibly honest and raw account of belief, vulnerability, trauma, relationships, and a desperate search for meaning no matter what the cost.

She writes really well, with a strong, distinctive voice, and does a great job of capturing the blurred line between fantasy and reality in her own experience. I really hope she keeps writing.

N.b. Did anyone else rush to google Steve immediately after finishing????? Also the cult's movie list had me dead, so unhinged

[ariana · Rating 4 out of 5]

"do you want to be Kanye or do you want to be yourself? or did no one tell you that you could have both?" frase mais assustadora do que It Inteiro i fear

[Philippa Cahill · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was on the verge of tears throughout a lot of the book, but eventually bawled through the epilogue, the line that got me being “There is a world in which I could still be waiting, still be jumping. There is a life in which I could still be trapped.”

I see so much of my younger self in Murray, my favourite line being “Nothing was unrelated to me.” This book for me tells the story of how poeticising every instance of your life can lead you to aligning with the wrong people, simply because it was ‘meant to be’ and you can’t mess with your fate. Murray shows the benefit breaking out of this narrative, of using your sentimentality, creativity, and imagination in a safe way that won’t exhaust you, and make you lose hold of your autonomy and sense of self.

What incredible work she’s done. I feel very grateful for this book.