Chasing Perfect: Why Modern Dating is falling apart and how to actually fix it

by Anthony Sanders

Modern dating isn’t confusing by accident… it’s engineered that way.

Between TikTok “experts,” Instagram illusions, Netflix cheating-as-romance plotlines, dating apps that treat humans like a buffet, and podcasts hosted by people who couldn’t maintain a relationship with a house plant, the entire dating landscape has become a circus.

And unfortunately, most people don’t even realize they’re performing in it.

Chasing Perfect is the brutally honest, hilarious, psychology-driven wake-up call people have been needing. Written by a man who’s been with the same woman for nearly twenty years and has watched the collapse of modern dating from the outside, this book breaks

• Why expectations are unrealistic on both sides
• How social media warps attraction and standards
• Why “The 666 Rule” is destroying dating culture
• How porn is rewiring brains and killing chemistry
• Why people chase fantasy partners instead of real ones
• The truth about emotional affairs and “work spouses”
• How Girls’/Guys’ Night Out can derail commitment fast
• Why nobody connects deeply anymore
• How hypergamy shapes attraction (and how culture amplifies it)
• And why so many relationships fail before they even start

This isn’t written by a guru or a dating influencer.
No clichés. No fake optimism. No performative “alpha male” nonsense.

Just real psychology, sharp humor, modern insight, and the kind of social awareness you can only get from two decades of watching dating culture crash into itself like a demolition derby.

Whether you’re single, taken, confused, exhausted, healing, or just curious why dating feels like applying for a job you don’t even want, Chasing Perfect will give you clarity, perspective, and more laughs than you expect.

This book won’t “fix” anybody, but it will absolutely change how you see the dating world… and maybe yourself.

Perfect for men, women, couples, singles, and anyone looking to understand the chaos with honesty, comedy, and a little bit of hope.

97 pages, Kindle Edition

Published December 2, 2025

About the author

Anthony Sanders is the Galbreath Distinguished Scholar and Professor of Finance at The Ohio State University. During 1997 and 1998, he was director and head of asset-backed and mortgage-backed securities research at Deutsche Bank. He has published numerous articles in journals such as the Journal of Finance, Journal of Financial and Quantitative Analysis, Journal of Business, and Journal of Fixed Income.