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Constructive Living
Constructive Living is a Western approach to mental health education based in large part on adaptations of two Japanese psychotherapies, Morita therapy and Naikan therapy. Constructive Living (CL) presents an educational method of approaching life realistically and thoughtfully. The action aspect of CL emphasizes accepting reality (including feelings), focusing on purposes, and doing what needs doing. The reflection aspect of CL enables us to understand the present and past more clearly and to live in recognition of the support we receive from the world.
120 pages, Paperback
First published April 1, 1984
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 48 reviews
February 16, 2017
I was intrigued by Morita therapy because I think many of my issues stem from being overly reflective and self-aware. Most therapies I'd previously encountered seemed to encourage me to delve deeper into the habits of thought that were the very problem. Constructive living takes the opposite approach - encouraging attentive action.
I was not going to give this book more than 3 stars until I got to the exercises section, maybe because I was easily sold on the underlying theory and found the initial "sell" unnecessary. Once the advice became more concrete, I found it straight-forward and sensible, structured enough to be approachable, flexible enough to be realistic. I am excited to put the method to work (though I hold no illusions that the simplicity will make it easy to execute).
If nothing else, I appreciated the refrain that there are no neurotics, only neurotic moments. I had come to think of myself as innately neurotic, and I hadn't really considered the effects of that fixed mindset. It is freeing to think of those tendencies as states of mind that come and go and are influenced by my behavior rather than an inherent part of my personality.
I was not going to give this book more than 3 stars until I got to the exercises section, maybe because I was easily sold on the underlying theory and found the initial "sell" unnecessary. Once the advice became more concrete, I found it straight-forward and sensible, structured enough to be approachable, flexible enough to be realistic. I am excited to put the method to work (though I hold no illusions that the simplicity will make it easy to execute).
If nothing else, I appreciated the refrain that there are no neurotics, only neurotic moments. I had come to think of myself as innately neurotic, and I hadn't really considered the effects of that fixed mindset. It is freeing to think of those tendencies as states of mind that come and go and are influenced by my behavior rather than an inherent part of my personality.
June 6, 2011
This book was recommended to me by a close friend, and after hearing him talk about it, I was motivated to read it immediately. It is very short, and can be read in a few days, perhaps a little longer if one wishes to savour its contents. Essentially, it takes the therapeutic teachings of Dr. Morita and puts them into a context that Westerners can easily grasp. I enjoyed reading this book very much.
Its a methodology that can move one beyond how one feels into taking constructive action. Right from the opening remarks, “When you don’t focus on your depressed thoughts and feelings, you’re not depressed.” Indeed, the trick becomes not focusing on them, and this little book shows the way.
It says things about feelings that I suspect I always knew, however I had no clear way of expressing. The five principles of feelings in the opening chapter resonated: 1) Feelings are uncontrollable directly by the will; 2) Feelings must be recognized and accepted as they are; 3) Every feeling, however unpleasant, has its uses; 4) Feelings fade with time unless they are re-stimulated; and 5) Feelings can be indirectly influenced by behaviour.
This book is an excellent way to better recognize and understand the concept of living in the present moment. “The first step to changing reality is to recognize it as it is now.” And this concept: “Within every worry is an opportunity for positive action. In every lie there is a kernel of truth. Behind every neurotic symptom is the misdirected desire to live fully and well.” This takes negative thoughts we all have and shows us that we can find something positive even in all of the negative. Wonderful.
I found the chapter, “What to Do About Life’s Rough Times” very helpful. It covers many of the circumstances each of us can find ourselves in during daily life, and shows how to apply the techniques of constructive living to these situations. I especially liked this line: “Take action to change what needs changing. Take action to respond to your situation. Let the discouragement take care of itself.”
There are so many pithy phrases--phrases that should be on a coffee mug or something. “Never deny reality”, “Feelings follow behaviour.” “Stress comes with success as well as failure.” “To feel deeply is to be human.” “Your body is your servant, not your master.” “For all my dreams, I am what I do.”
Reynolds talks about starting involvement in Constructive Living with exercise—I can relate to that in a very direct way. All of his concepts are quite easy to understand, however they can be difficult to put into practice. I can’t find anything to crab about in this book. If everyone read it, the world would be a much better place. We are all too self-absorbed, at least those of us in the West who have moved up Maslow’s hierarch of needs. There’s nothing wrong with doing, whatever needs to be done. I loved the exercises, and I plan to give them a try. It’s a plan already constructed for me.
I loved the maxims, these in particular: #4 Variant: “It’s not the way it ought to be; it is the way it is.” #7: “Keep on doing what needs to be done.” #12: “Every moment a fresh one.” #17: “Moldy perfume.” #25: “You care about what you care for.” #35: “Making friends with fear.” Look them up and see what Reynolds is talking about.
Finally, this line, from the end of Exercise VIII, resonates for me as the capstone of this book. “The energy that was directed at protecting yourself and avoiding risk can be re-channeled toward giving yourself to others and meeting head-on the demands of whatever reality brings you.” It tells me that I am not my feelings, and yet validates those feelings at the same time. It tells me to channel myself into doing. That’s what I’m trying to do these days.
Its a methodology that can move one beyond how one feels into taking constructive action. Right from the opening remarks, “When you don’t focus on your depressed thoughts and feelings, you’re not depressed.” Indeed, the trick becomes not focusing on them, and this little book shows the way.
It says things about feelings that I suspect I always knew, however I had no clear way of expressing. The five principles of feelings in the opening chapter resonated: 1) Feelings are uncontrollable directly by the will; 2) Feelings must be recognized and accepted as they are; 3) Every feeling, however unpleasant, has its uses; 4) Feelings fade with time unless they are re-stimulated; and 5) Feelings can be indirectly influenced by behaviour.
This book is an excellent way to better recognize and understand the concept of living in the present moment. “The first step to changing reality is to recognize it as it is now.” And this concept: “Within every worry is an opportunity for positive action. In every lie there is a kernel of truth. Behind every neurotic symptom is the misdirected desire to live fully and well.” This takes negative thoughts we all have and shows us that we can find something positive even in all of the negative. Wonderful.
I found the chapter, “What to Do About Life’s Rough Times” very helpful. It covers many of the circumstances each of us can find ourselves in during daily life, and shows how to apply the techniques of constructive living to these situations. I especially liked this line: “Take action to change what needs changing. Take action to respond to your situation. Let the discouragement take care of itself.”
There are so many pithy phrases--phrases that should be on a coffee mug or something. “Never deny reality”, “Feelings follow behaviour.” “Stress comes with success as well as failure.” “To feel deeply is to be human.” “Your body is your servant, not your master.” “For all my dreams, I am what I do.”
Reynolds talks about starting involvement in Constructive Living with exercise—I can relate to that in a very direct way. All of his concepts are quite easy to understand, however they can be difficult to put into practice. I can’t find anything to crab about in this book. If everyone read it, the world would be a much better place. We are all too self-absorbed, at least those of us in the West who have moved up Maslow’s hierarch of needs. There’s nothing wrong with doing, whatever needs to be done. I loved the exercises, and I plan to give them a try. It’s a plan already constructed for me.
I loved the maxims, these in particular: #4 Variant: “It’s not the way it ought to be; it is the way it is.” #7: “Keep on doing what needs to be done.” #12: “Every moment a fresh one.” #17: “Moldy perfume.” #25: “You care about what you care for.” #35: “Making friends with fear.” Look them up and see what Reynolds is talking about.
Finally, this line, from the end of Exercise VIII, resonates for me as the capstone of this book. “The energy that was directed at protecting yourself and avoiding risk can be re-channeled toward giving yourself to others and meeting head-on the demands of whatever reality brings you.” It tells me that I am not my feelings, and yet validates those feelings at the same time. It tells me to channel myself into doing. That’s what I’m trying to do these days.
May 5, 2020
2.5 stars in Nov 2018, but 4 stars in May 2020
January 7, 2014
Interesting & useful book. Key ideas: BE HERE NOW. and: DO WHATEVER NEEDS TO BE DONE NEXT.
March 23, 2018
I didn't pick this book up because I was looking for a different kind of self-help. I chose it because Will Schwalbe and his mother (The End of Your Life Book Club) had been huge fans.
First of all (audiobook) the narration, narrated by Reynolds was terrible. It is a universal truth that being a renowned psychiatrist does not automatically qualify you to be a great reader. Showing off your knowledge of Japanese by throwing in Japanese quotes is not on. However, I was determined to learn something different thus persevered.
Then came the chapter on advice to victims of childhood abuse - write thank you notes to your abusers because apart from this trivial fact of the abuse they had fed you and clothed you among many other good deeds.
If that's not enough and you're still not in the right frame of mind for constructive living, go into your kitchen, take out your utensils and say thank you to all forks and knives for what they'd done for you.
At this point back went the book for refund. I'm listening to Harry Potter instead.
First of all (audiobook) the narration, narrated by Reynolds was terrible. It is a universal truth that being a renowned psychiatrist does not automatically qualify you to be a great reader. Showing off your knowledge of Japanese by throwing in Japanese quotes is not on. However, I was determined to learn something different thus persevered.
Then came the chapter on advice to victims of childhood abuse - write thank you notes to your abusers because apart from this trivial fact of the abuse they had fed you and clothed you among many other good deeds.
If that's not enough and you're still not in the right frame of mind for constructive living, go into your kitchen, take out your utensils and say thank you to all forks and knives for what they'd done for you.
At this point back went the book for refund. I'm listening to Harry Potter instead.
January 6, 2014
Read this book years ago and it had a lasting positive effect in my life. Re-reading it now. Will be posting my summary/notes in the comments below...
March 28, 2013
This is one of those books I'm almost embarrassed to post as having read. I don't go in for "zen" anything, really. In spite of it's new age description, for the most part this book is very practical and day-to-day - and whatever wasn't, I skipped.
What I got out of this odd book:
We are a feeling-centered society, but feelings are not reality. Feelings change, feelings cannot be helped or controlled. They can be useful, they matter, but when they become our focus it is harmful to us. History is a lengthy compendium of average people who felt terrible at times (a lot) and who continued to get things done, bit by bit, day by day. Doing things (getting active, accomplishing tasks) helps. There are things that need to be done, and when they are done, you might not feel fabulous, but you will have done well - and this works to your good. Self-esteem is a crock. Do something well - this is how you build confidence in reality. Blah blah blah - there was more, but I'm no guru. Read it for yourself, if you care. I appreciated the common sense approach of the author although I do not embrace everything he writes.
What I got out of this odd book:
We are a feeling-centered society, but feelings are not reality. Feelings change, feelings cannot be helped or controlled. They can be useful, they matter, but when they become our focus it is harmful to us. History is a lengthy compendium of average people who felt terrible at times (a lot) and who continued to get things done, bit by bit, day by day. Doing things (getting active, accomplishing tasks) helps. There are things that need to be done, and when they are done, you might not feel fabulous, but you will have done well - and this works to your good. Self-esteem is a crock. Do something well - this is how you build confidence in reality. Blah blah blah - there was more, but I'm no guru. Read it for yourself, if you care. I appreciated the common sense approach of the author although I do not embrace everything he writes.
May 11, 2008
Lesson of this book:
Recognize and accept what you know you are. Don't try to pretend, but at the same time don't waste your time focusing on what it prevents you from doing. Focus on what needs to be accomplished and do it, despite shyness, grief, pain. etc.
Morita Therapy
Recognize and accept what you know you are. Don't try to pretend, but at the same time don't waste your time focusing on what it prevents you from doing. Focus on what needs to be accomplished and do it, despite shyness, grief, pain. etc.
Morita Therapy
October 26, 2023
An incredible manual on how to master ourselves and learn to take consistent, impeccable action.
“There are no neurotics or geniuses or failures or fools. There are only neurotic moments, flashes of brilliance, failed opportunities, and stupid mistakes. But these moments, pleasant or unpleasant, can never fix us into rigid, immutable characters. We cannot help but change. This book is about choosing the direction of your changingness and acting upon your choice.”
~ David K. Reynolds from Constructive Living
Constructive Living.
It’s a book that a friend and favorite author of mine, Dan Millman (The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, Everyday Enlightenment, etc.), recommended to me. I’ve always admired Dan and his work for his ability to blend East and West with an ultimate focus on ACTION. And, now I know why he recommended this book to me: it’s an incredible manual on how to master ourselves and learn to take consistent, impeccable action.
Constructive Living is based on the fundamental notion that, although we can’t control our feelings, we CAN control our behaviors.
And, as a result, craft our ideal life. Or, as Reynolds says so poetically: “Our behavior is controllable in a way that our feelings are not. There is a very special satisfaction for the Artist of Living who works within life’s limits to produce a fine self-portrait. The more control we develop over our actions, the more chance we have of producing a self we can be proud of.”
That, in a nutshell, is what Constructive Living is all about.
Some of my favorite big ideas from this book include:
1. The Goal: - Self-Mastery.
2. The Five Principles - Of constructive living.
3. Copernicus & You - Lessons in astronomy.
4. The First Step - Take it.
5. The Question: - Now what needs to be done?
6. Doing Depression - Stop doing it!
7. Fear & Stress - We all have it.
8. Mastery of Life = Constructive living.
I’ve summarized those Big Ideas in a video review that you can watch here: https://youtu.be/VDbLXlVmS4I?feature=...
I’ve also added Constructive Living by David K. Reynolds to my collection of Philosopher’s Notes--distilling the Big Ideas into 6-page PDF and 20-minute MP3s on 600+ of the BEST self-development books ever. You can get access to all of those plus a TON more over at https://heroic.us.
“There are no neurotics or geniuses or failures or fools. There are only neurotic moments, flashes of brilliance, failed opportunities, and stupid mistakes. But these moments, pleasant or unpleasant, can never fix us into rigid, immutable characters. We cannot help but change. This book is about choosing the direction of your changingness and acting upon your choice.”
~ David K. Reynolds from Constructive Living
Constructive Living.
It’s a book that a friend and favorite author of mine, Dan Millman (The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, Everyday Enlightenment, etc.), recommended to me. I’ve always admired Dan and his work for his ability to blend East and West with an ultimate focus on ACTION. And, now I know why he recommended this book to me: it’s an incredible manual on how to master ourselves and learn to take consistent, impeccable action.
Constructive Living is based on the fundamental notion that, although we can’t control our feelings, we CAN control our behaviors.
And, as a result, craft our ideal life. Or, as Reynolds says so poetically: “Our behavior is controllable in a way that our feelings are not. There is a very special satisfaction for the Artist of Living who works within life’s limits to produce a fine self-portrait. The more control we develop over our actions, the more chance we have of producing a self we can be proud of.”
That, in a nutshell, is what Constructive Living is all about.
Some of my favorite big ideas from this book include:
1. The Goal: - Self-Mastery.
2. The Five Principles - Of constructive living.
3. Copernicus & You - Lessons in astronomy.
4. The First Step - Take it.
5. The Question: - Now what needs to be done?
6. Doing Depression - Stop doing it!
7. Fear & Stress - We all have it.
8. Mastery of Life = Constructive living.
I’ve summarized those Big Ideas in a video review that you can watch here: https://youtu.be/VDbLXlVmS4I?feature=...
I’ve also added Constructive Living by David K. Reynolds to my collection of Philosopher’s Notes--distilling the Big Ideas into 6-page PDF and 20-minute MP3s on 600+ of the BEST self-development books ever. You can get access to all of those plus a TON more over at https://heroic.us.
July 18, 2013
I found its basic messages valid, its author's superior attitude alternately annoying and amusing, and its exercises silly, though I could see their underlying purpose. He's as skeptical of "And how do you feel about that?" therapy as I am. He says that feelings are. They happen. You shouldn't blame yourself for them. While you're busy trying to figure out where they're coming from or telling yourself that they're bad, you could actually be accomplishing things. It's better to do something concrete with your time. Self-esteem comes from accomplishment, not before. Fear and sadness have uses, as long as you don't let them rule your life. Shyness is not a disease. Learn to discern the difference between what you can control (your behavior) and what's beyond you (everything else). Therapy takes forever because people are always changing. Appreciate what is going on around you instead of walking around in a fog of endlessly analyzing your feelings to everything. He says that some people need medication to battle depression, but that the rest of us may be happier if we stop drowning in our navels, realize that life is not going to be happy 100% of the time, and actually live.
I wanted to talk a bit about the concept of shinkeishitsu, a syndrome marked by anxiety, obsessions, perfectionism, ambivalence, discomfort in social situations, and hypochondria. Reynolds in Constructive Living has shortened and cutened that to "shinky." I have my shinky moments, like most people, but they seem to be fewer as I get older. The term resonated with me, especially when he mentioned that frequently shinky people are imaginative and occasionally have the urge to swerve into traffic. *g*
Morita's original treatment for shinkeishitsu was hospitalization. The sufferer is put in a hospital room without company, books, or any kind of interesting things to look at or do and is then forced to stay in bed, allowed to leave the bed only to eat or use the bathroom. Nothing to do but drown in brooding and self-pity. The purpose is to make the sufferer so sick of his self-centered brooding that he grows out of it. Of course, I've known some people this therapy wouldn't make a dent on.
I wanted to talk a bit about the concept of shinkeishitsu, a syndrome marked by anxiety, obsessions, perfectionism, ambivalence, discomfort in social situations, and hypochondria. Reynolds in Constructive Living has shortened and cutened that to "shinky." I have my shinky moments, like most people, but they seem to be fewer as I get older. The term resonated with me, especially when he mentioned that frequently shinky people are imaginative and occasionally have the urge to swerve into traffic. *g*
Morita's original treatment for shinkeishitsu was hospitalization. The sufferer is put in a hospital room without company, books, or any kind of interesting things to look at or do and is then forced to stay in bed, allowed to leave the bed only to eat or use the bathroom. Nothing to do but drown in brooding and self-pity. The purpose is to make the sufferer so sick of his self-centered brooding that he grows out of it. Of course, I've known some people this therapy wouldn't make a dent on.
December 31, 2014
This book borrows its ideas from Morita and Naikan therapies. While some of the issues are addressed with a pragmatic outlook and some of the solutions also worth implementing, however, one cannot act on many ideas that the book suggests. One thing that sticks in my mind is the approach he advocates regarding concentrating all your energies in any activity that you perform - be it reading, writing, washing dishes, listening to somebody, walking etc. I know such ideas are not unknown to us, but the book serves as a reminder. In sum, he tries to prove that we all live in awareness. However, most of us are sleep-walking through life. One can be fully aware only if he makes a conscious effort to not let his thoughts wander and instead focus on the present and what really surrounds him. For example, while walking in a street we perhaps do not pay attention to all the landmarks, architecture, trees, etc etc. This kind of attention can be reached only if one is in a state of complete awareness. Some of his other ideas that I did not like were writing something nice about every individual you know, addressing each one of them. That includes absolutely everyone. This can have adverse effects as well. You will probably appreciate my review if you read this book. This is a decent book to read. This can be read in one sitting.
December 27, 2013
Perfect for those at loose ends and constantly in emotional turmoil. For these people, a focus on mindful observation, behavioral restraint and mature action, generosity towards others, and acceptance of what cannot be changed could do wonders to calm the emotional storms. Yet just as he states that Freud’s introspective psychoanalysis was ideal for treating a specific hysteria brought on by repression but not ideal for today’s more obsessive neuroses, this treatment also seems to have its limits. While there is mention of acceptance and flexibility, this Zen-based practice comes across as dry and clinical. There are those who are very disciplined, structured and kind-hearted, yet feel a depressive lack. For them, a warmer, more playful and empathetic therapy may be more appropriate. As the author himself says, not all treatments are for everyone. You don’t treat pneumonia with a splint and not all unhappiness is cured by more structure.
September 17, 2023
This is a little gem of a self improvement book. At 100 pages it does not wear you down with claims to the impossible, shown by anecdotes. Rather it has been divided in three main parts, first a description and examples of how clinging to emotion bars a functional life, then an exposé of the way you could deal with some of the hardships life throws at us, followed by a series of meditative excercises.
In fact the contents of this book resonated deeply with my own way of dealing with life, strengthening my resolve to follow the path that I chose to go so long ago. Basically: Emotions come and go, the art is to keep on functioning despite the storm in oneself without denying the fact that you hurt (or experience joy) without comparison. It looks somewhat like stoïcism but is not fully the same. At least I tend to think Stoïcism might sometimes lead to denying that the sea can drown you, while constructive living doesn't deny it, but rather have you swimming at the same time.
Based on the Morita therapy invented in Japan in the 30s of the past century, the foundation for this book has outlived it's offspring. Constructive living is not a thing anymore, at least it never was in my awereness. Still it would be a waste to throw away the child with the bathwater, there is insight to be had and I will incorporate some of the exercises in my daily routine. Most importantly I will continue to live with attention to my emotions, but with practicality in dealing with everyday life.
In fact the contents of this book resonated deeply with my own way of dealing with life, strengthening my resolve to follow the path that I chose to go so long ago. Basically: Emotions come and go, the art is to keep on functioning despite the storm in oneself without denying the fact that you hurt (or experience joy) without comparison. It looks somewhat like stoïcism but is not fully the same. At least I tend to think Stoïcism might sometimes lead to denying that the sea can drown you, while constructive living doesn't deny it, but rather have you swimming at the same time.
Based on the Morita therapy invented in Japan in the 30s of the past century, the foundation for this book has outlived it's offspring. Constructive living is not a thing anymore, at least it never was in my awereness. Still it would be a waste to throw away the child with the bathwater, there is insight to be had and I will incorporate some of the exercises in my daily routine. Most importantly I will continue to live with attention to my emotions, but with practicality in dealing with everyday life.
September 10, 2018
Super book - a good companion volume to the work of Gregg Krech's 'The Art of Taking Action'. Wonderful account of Morita Therapy. The link with some of the central components of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy are sometimes downplayed by the ACT community. However, I think the parallels are striking - a focus on 'doing' and also, 'doing what matters'. A recognition of emotions and how they can get in the way - so the aim of 'co-existing with negative feelings' and taking the right action anyway is an important idea.
As Reynolds puts it, "Feelings are for feeling. Feelings aren’t for explaining, for justifying, or for acting out. They are to be noticed, experienced, and accepted while we go about doing what needs doing."
I love the exercises at the end of the book. A great way of putting the ideas into your behaviour - this is how you truly learn.
This book, along with Krech's, has the potential to change lives.
As Reynolds puts it, "Feelings are for feeling. Feelings aren’t for explaining, for justifying, or for acting out. They are to be noticed, experienced, and accepted while we go about doing what needs doing."
I love the exercises at the end of the book. A great way of putting the ideas into your behaviour - this is how you truly learn.
This book, along with Krech's, has the potential to change lives.
December 10, 2019
I stumbled on something about Morita Therapy and that led me down a few clicks of rabbit holes to this book, which provides a brief overview of both Morita and Naikan therapies.
Constructive Living is short on how one would actually go through this therapy (as are most of the websites) but it explains the premise in clear terms, and I found it to be at its most interesting when comparing these therapies to psychotherapy. It is by no means a comparative text though—I just found that portion of the book to be insightful and convincingly present its advantages.
This is a self help book without a lot of proselytizing. You buy into this book’s premise or you don’t. It’s not a deep guide to the therapies from an intellectual vantage, which is appropriate given that the therapies are action-oriented. But it's also not a guide with many practical steps for the reader.
But it was short and interesting.
Constructive Living is short on how one would actually go through this therapy (as are most of the websites) but it explains the premise in clear terms, and I found it to be at its most interesting when comparing these therapies to psychotherapy. It is by no means a comparative text though—I just found that portion of the book to be insightful and convincingly present its advantages.
This is a self help book without a lot of proselytizing. You buy into this book’s premise or you don’t. It’s not a deep guide to the therapies from an intellectual vantage, which is appropriate given that the therapies are action-oriented. But it's also not a guide with many practical steps for the reader.
But it was short and interesting.
May 19, 2012
I've studied Reynolds' work for the last ten years and have put a lot of these practical suggestions into effect. This is a short introduction to what Reynolds is up to in what he calls "Constructive Living," which is a blend of Morita therapy and Naikan reflection. I recommend this one as a solid starting point, but it is not as detailed as the "Handbook for Constructive Living." For those interested in a grounded approach to mental health, CL is quite useful.
June 17, 2019
I appreciate the ideas from the book and am employing some of them. But I think the book itself is scattered and oversimplified. It oversells “do the next thing” at the expense of an honest discussion of how to incorporate planning along with doing. I could easily have missed the point here but I definitely do not buy the idea that I always just know what the next thing needs to be.
October 22, 2015
Compact explanation of Morita Therapy. Bottom line - emotions FOLLOW action.
August 9, 2022
For anyone who doesn’t like to blame externalities for their poor life and choices. For anyone who is tired of their own bullshit. For anyone who believes in hard work. This book will link all concepts of courage and responsibility into one single framework that you can use throughout your life. Here is the framework as i understood :
- We are not responsible for our feelings and our spontaneous thought, « you are not responsible for the bad feelings you have » they must be recognised as they are at the moment.
- Feelings orient us towards what needs doing (fear towards fight or flight, anxiety towards preparation, anger towards confrontation (civil) or action to fix the situation, towards all that needs to be done.
-We are only, and always, responsible for our behavior.
- Behavior is what influences feeling, you want to feel motivated ? Act. You want to feel honest ? Tell the truth. Strong ? Stand up right.
We are always responsible for our actions, and this book provides a guide for acting with purpose, regardless of what we feel, and in accordance with what needs to be done, and bear, proudly, this responsibility.
- We are not responsible for our feelings and our spontaneous thought, « you are not responsible for the bad feelings you have » they must be recognised as they are at the moment.
- Feelings orient us towards what needs doing (fear towards fight or flight, anxiety towards preparation, anger towards confrontation (civil) or action to fix the situation, towards all that needs to be done.
-We are only, and always, responsible for our behavior.
- Behavior is what influences feeling, you want to feel motivated ? Act. You want to feel honest ? Tell the truth. Strong ? Stand up right.
We are always responsible for our actions, and this book provides a guide for acting with purpose, regardless of what we feel, and in accordance with what needs to be done, and bear, proudly, this responsibility.
May 20, 2022
David Reynolds ist einer der angesehensten US-amerikanischen Spezialisten für das aus Japan stammende Morita-Verfahren zur Behandlung von psychischen Krankheiten. Der Ratgeber, geschrieben in den 80er Jahren, umfasst nur 120 Seiten, die aber für den Einstieg völlig ausreichen. Ein Praxisteil mit Übungen ergänzt die Theorie.
Das von Reynolds beschriebene Verfahren basiert auf der Erkenntnis, dass man seine Emotionen nicht weg-denken kann. Also sind sie in einem ersten Schritt zu akzeptieren. In einem zweiten Schritt übt der Patient, die alltäglichen Aufgaben durchzuführen, ohne sich von den (negativen) Emotionen beeinflussen zu lassen. Sie werden von selber verblassen, wenn sie nicht reaktiviert werden. Natürlich werden im Buch viele plastische Beispiele gegeben.
Jedem, der sich leicht von Emotionen in seinem Verhalten beeinflussen lässt, sei dieser Ratgeber ans Herz gelegt. Eine gewisse Distanz zur eigenen Gefühlswelt hilft dabei, das Leben trotz der unbeeinflussbaren Schicksalsschläge zu bewältigen.
Das von Reynolds beschriebene Verfahren basiert auf der Erkenntnis, dass man seine Emotionen nicht weg-denken kann. Also sind sie in einem ersten Schritt zu akzeptieren. In einem zweiten Schritt übt der Patient, die alltäglichen Aufgaben durchzuführen, ohne sich von den (negativen) Emotionen beeinflussen zu lassen. Sie werden von selber verblassen, wenn sie nicht reaktiviert werden. Natürlich werden im Buch viele plastische Beispiele gegeben.
Jedem, der sich leicht von Emotionen in seinem Verhalten beeinflussen lässt, sei dieser Ratgeber ans Herz gelegt. Eine gewisse Distanz zur eigenen Gefühlswelt hilft dabei, das Leben trotz der unbeeinflussbaren Schicksalsschläge zu bewältigen.
February 16, 2018
This is the best self help book I've ever read. Warning, it does not tell you what you want to hear. But, in a way, it does. The first half of the book convinces you that focusing your life on how you feel is a waste of time, because feelings are uncontrollable. The second half convinces you that you need to think carefully about what others have done for you and the trouble you have caused them--the idea is not to cultivate gratitude-- that is a feeling and therefore out of your control, but instead to have a more realistic view of the world.
March 2, 2019
I found the maximes and the exercises pretty helpful and practical. Particularly, the realisation that feelings are comperable to the weather and not directly influencable (only indirectly through behavior). Also the recommended way to leave self-centered thoughts and feelings with carrying work for others will stick with me. However, sometimes I didnot agree with some of the statements in the text itself (e.g. Your body is your servant, not your master.). In the end it is like most books that aspects shine more than others.
March 18, 2024
Would probably be a better use of time to read the original sources of Morita. While this book presents a valuable and interesting challenge to some of the overly therapeutic and psycho-analytical practices of our day and age, it still reads oddly cult-like. Maybe that's the unfortunate byproduct of reinterpreting Eastern perspectives for a wide Western audience, but David, himself even understands that "The Tao that can be said is not the eternal Tao." Perhaps this ouroboros of boredom is of value because now I feel compelled to go do something instead of continue to read this.
February 20, 2019
This book was published in 1984 and it felt dated, but was interesting. It talks about Morita Therapy, which seems like mindfulness to me, but harsher? It was recommended on some enneagram 4 thread I was reading...I kind of felt like I was being fussed at, lol, but there were helpful nuggets in it...basically, stop thinking so much and get up and do the next right thing! It’s a book I will revisit, it was a lot to take in one chunk.
March 3, 2020
An introductory book to the principles of the Japanese Morita Therapy.
"Remember to begin by recognizing feelings pleasant or unpleasant. Don't begin by ignoring or denying them. See whether they have a message for you about some action you need to take. Then behave responsibly. If the feeling remains, is there something else you need to do? If not, go on about living without excessive interest in the feeling...Feelings follow behavior."
"Remember to begin by recognizing feelings pleasant or unpleasant. Don't begin by ignoring or denying them. See whether they have a message for you about some action you need to take. Then behave responsibly. If the feeling remains, is there something else you need to do? If not, go on about living without excessive interest in the feeling...Feelings follow behavior."
January 3, 2025
I found this book because it was mentioned by the author of Improv Wisdom: Don't Prepare, Just Show Up. I think this book is wonderful as a guide to the Art of Living for people without trauma or health problems -- but I have serious doubts about using it as a therapeutic method.
January 25, 2022
This is possibly the most naive book I've ever read.
Let me summarize the ideas in it: according to the author, if you live "in the moment" and act in a selfless manner, you'll feel better. That's it, that's the whole book.
I can't imagine how an adult can still believe in such childish nonsense, a professional psychiatrist no less.
Let me summarize the ideas in it: according to the author, if you live "in the moment" and act in a selfless manner, you'll feel better. That's it, that's the whole book.
I can't imagine how an adult can still believe in such childish nonsense, a professional psychiatrist no less.
January 9, 2019
This book does not promise instant results or great improvements, but it is the best self-help book I have read in a long time.
September 1, 2019
The idea that "more guilt is good for you" is paving the road to neuroticism, IMO.
October 5, 2019
Some helpful stuff, but needs tempering.
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