Almost Life: A Novel

by Kiran Millwood Hargrave

Two young women meet in Paris one sultry summer in a decades-spanning tour de force about the enduring power of young love and the poignant heartbreak of missed chances—perfect for fans of One Day and Normal People.

Erica and Laure meet on the steps of the Sacré-Coeur in Paris, 1978. Erica is a student, relishing her first summer abroad before beginning university at home in England. Laure is studying for her PhD at the Sorbonne, drinking and smoking far too much, and sleeping with a married woman. The moment the two women meet, the spark is undeniable, but their encounter turns into far more than a summer of love. It is the beginning of a relationship that will define their lives and every decision they have yet to make…

Erica and Laure’s love story spans decades, marriage, children, secret trysts, and the agonizing changes—both personal and political—that might mean they can be together, after all. But when life brings them within touching distance again, will they be brave enough to seize a future together?

Beautifully capturing young love and all its complexities, Almost Life is a story of longing for the paths not taken, and the almost lives we live.

Genres: Fiction, Romance, LGBT, Queer, Literary Fiction, Historical Fiction, Lesbian

Audible Audio

First published March 12, 2026

About the author

Kiran Millwood Hargrave is an award-winning writer whose work has been translated into over 30 languages and optioned for stage and screen. Almost Life, her third novel for adults, will be published by Picador (UK) and Summit (US) in March 2026.

Her debut adult novel The Mercies debuted at number one of the The Times bestseller list, was a top-ten Sunday Times bestseller, and was selected for the BBC Radio 2 Book Club and the Richard and Judy Summer Reads. It was a finalist for the prestigious Prix Femina in France, won a Betty Trask Award, and was called 'unquestionably the book of the 2018 London Book Fair' by The Bookseller. The Dance Tree was shortlisted for the HWA Gold Crown Award and picked for the BBC Two Between Two Covers Book Club, as well as Florence + the Machine's Between Two Books Book Club.

Between them, her children's books have won numerous awards including the Wainwright Prize, Children's Book of the Year at the British Book Awards, the Waterstones Children's Book Prize, the Historical Association Young Quills Award, and the Blackwell's Children's Book of the Year. They have been shortlisted for the Kirkus Prize, the Barnes and Noble Award, Jhalak Prize, the Little Rebels Prize, the Branford Boase Award, the Blue Peter Best Story Award, Costa Children's Book Prize, Foyles' Children's Book of the Year, and thrice-longlisted for the Carnegie Award.

Kiran lives in Oxford with her husband, the artist Tom de Freston, their daughter, cats, and usually a litter of foster kittens.

Reviews

[Emily May · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is the condition of the heartbroken to believe no one has felt as they have, ever in the history of the world.

This was absolutely wonderful, but I feel like an open wound after finishing it. Like this book reached inside me and ripped something vital out. This is one of those rare times where I'll be returning my library book and buying my own copy.

Is this a romance? In a rudimentary sense, yes. Laure and Erica meet in 1978, on the steps of the Sacré-Coeur in Paris, and experience that rare kind of spark— inexplicable, and impossible to ignore. Yet they try their best. Years pass, bringing them together and then tearing them apart. Nothing has changed, while everything has changed. Laure and Erica frozen in the fervour of their first love, even as lovers, marriages, career changes and personal crises spin their lives off in very different directions.

I could have read it faster, but I lingered over it. I reread passages. I had that special kind of reading experience where the characters felt 100% real to me. I stayed up late to finish it, then lay awake for hours thinking about Laure and Erica, unable to calm my heart with the mantra "it's just fiction; it isn't real".

The last of her defences, weak as they were, had tumbled, and she was laid bare to it all. To Paris, to Laure, to this perfect summer.

Paris is used spectacularly here. In this book, it is a living, breathing thing, but not romanticised the way it usually is. The beauty and splendour is juxtaposed with the grime and squalor; the city of love is also the city of heartbreak.

And, alongside this, it is a historical novel following the development of gay rights from the 1970s to the 2010s, kind of in the way Boyne's The Heart's Invisible Furies was. Playing out in the background are political events, the AIDS crisis, and the fight for the legalization of gay marriage.

I've only read a handful of books that hurt like this one did. Ones that twist intense desire and passion together with melancholy, and do so effectively without seeming maudlin. I also love very much that— despite how bright Erica and Laure flare at the centre of this story —none of the other characters are treated as disposable. I think this happens a lot in romance, where anyone outside the central pair has a bit of an NPC quality. That was not the case here.

It is just absolutely lovely and heartbreaking. I can't stop thinking about it.

[Quirine · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book destroyed me!! Depending on how it will linger I might change this to 5 stars later because holy. I was completely transported into the lives of these two women. It helps that I romanticize Paris like it’s my job, so this book already got me there. Young artists living in Paris in the 70s, smoking and drinking red wine and talking about art and politics? Absolutely yes.
Yet this turned into something much more tender and hearbreaking and beautiful as it went on.

The only reason I gave it four stars is that the character growth was not fully believable to me at all times. Erica and Laure both had such strong, distinct personalities at the start and they sort of get blurred and wiped away as time goes on. And maybe that’s what life does to us but I do wish there was some remnant of a personality left, especially for Laure.

That being said, I cried multiple times during this book and feel both emotionally damaged and enlightened

[Leonie · Rating 5 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (5 stars)

Gosh, I don’t even fully know how to begin to describe how I feel about this book.
It’s an understatement to say that it rocked me to my core (& made me cry countless times) honestly, because this book and the whole story somehow managed to make me completely forget that I was reading about fictional characters and not something that happened in real life.
First of all, I want to say that this book shines through the way the story is told, the writing magnificent and the storytelling just as much. I could really connect to all of the characters, our mains Erica and Laure, and all the side characters like Michel, Laure’s friends or even Erica’s husband. The story is told through both, Laure’s and Erica’s POV and not gonna lie, it has been such a gift! Especially because I had my moments where I disliked Erica quite a bit and just longed to see Laure’s side and then when it happened, I felt myself fully enyoing the moments we got to see.
Since we’re already speaking about the characters, I want to dive a bit deeper into that.
First, Erica. We start off with her in her young adult years just before she enters university, and folllow her till she is in her middle age. I liked her character at the beginning, due to her being around the same stage of life as I am now, I felt like I could easily connect to her, however, as the story progressed I felt like she didn’t have quite the character growth I wished her or even expected her to have. Which, on one hand, added to the complexity of the characters as well as the realness but on the other hand, left me increasingly frustrated at times.
Then, we had Laure. Dear god, I adored her right from the beginning and let me tell you, I cried so many times reading her side of the story. I think she seemed quite arrogant at the beginning but then just had such an excellent character development and growth which just wowed me away! I kept thinming about her and Erica’s love story over the days that I read the book and found myself so immersed in her chapters and opinions in the story. I also adored her relationship with her friends, especially Michel (gosh, I adored him sooo much), but also all the others. It was so nice to see how thesy grew and struggled too and how we got glimpses of what happened to them over the years. Though, I still wish we could’ve gotten even more detail especially when the time jumps appeared in the story.
Besides, the pacing of the story was great. As I mentioned the storytelling was phenomenal and this is surely a book which I will buy as a copy for my bookshelf and to re-read in a few months when it’s officially published. I really highly recommend!!

Thank you to Netgallay and Pan Macmillan for providing me with a free copy of the book in exchnage for a honest review.

[Em Anderson-Wallace · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unbelievable. It's 2am and my face is wet with tears having been unable to put this down until I finished it. I think it's safe to say that this book really spoke to me.

For me, Almost Life was a perfect blend of A Little Life, One Day, Past Lives, Saltwater: aching, passionate, beautiful, crafted, it follows the interwoven lives of two women who meet on the steps of Sacré-Cœur in Summer 1978. What could be, what is, how long something can last, what makes something work - these are the central questions of Almost Life and captivated me wholly. Sapphic romance doesn't do this book justice: I found the depiction of Laure and Erica's connection through the years to be so beautiful and nuanced, so real, that on multiple occasions I reread whole sections so I could relive the scene and experience the emotions afresh. Alongside this, the story had dynamism and social commentary and humour and sex and depth and pace and I just never wanted it to end but couldn't rest until it did (which, on reflection, sort of parallels the plot).

big, big yes for me.

[Isa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lesbian normal people. Quite devastating, but incredibly addictive. Though it is not the most superb novel, with certain aspects of it falling into stereotypical parts of queerness, i still recommend it if you are seeking something heavily character driven and reflective of relationships and connections.

[Richard Derus · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rating: 4* of five

The Publisher Says: Two young women meet in Paris in this decades-spanning tour de force about the enduring power of young love and the poignant heartbreak of missed chances—perfect for fans of One Day and Normal People.

Erica and Laure meet on the steps of the Sacré-Coeur in Paris, 1978. Erica is a student, relishing her first summer abroad before beginning university at home in England. Laure is studying for her PhD at the Sorbonne, drinking and smoking far too much, and sleeping with a married woman. The moment the two women meet, the spark is undeniable, but their encounter turns into far more than a summer of love. It is the beginning of a relationship that will define their lives and every decision they have yet to make…

Erica and Laure’s love story spans decades, marriage, children, secret trysts, and the agonizing changes—both personal and political—that might mean they can be together, after all. But when life brings them within touching distance again, will they be brave enough to seize a future together?

Beautifully capturing young love and all its complexities, Almost Life is a story of longing for the paths not taken, and the almost lives we live.

I RECEIVED A DRC FROM THE PUBLISHER VIA NETGALLEY. THANK YOU.

My Review: Messy lives are so much more interesting than tidy, orderly ones. Messy for the right reasons...like being in love with two people for the usual complex, complicated reasons we humans fall in love...make for even better, more involving reading. Then there's the ultimate messiness of not being able to decide what to do about any of it. That is the most relatable thing of them all.

Of course, the emotional cost of being in two equally important relationships...well, grief and guilt and anger are spread around pretty thickly, pretty widely, and really heavily. Erica and Laure are connected but in ways that are demanding, requiring choices to be made. Erica is the one with A Plan (children, career as a novelist), so she chooses her Plan over the loose, freeing love of Laure (that will never get her one step closer to fulfilling her Plan).

Laure. Her plan for life is to love, to make love, to build around her loving chosen family of outsider misfit gay folk a nexus of happiness and support. As this story begins in 1978, I needn't tell older readers what was about to ram into the walls of the world...suffice, for those who were not there, to say that COVID was not the first deadly plague that came out of nowhere your elders faced. Laure being in the gay world of Paris feels it, bears it, as it scythes through her circle of loved ones. Erica, insulated in marriage and children, feels it less, but she feels love for Laure and the deeply conflicted happy delights and miserable lows of being a human in a family.

Author Hargrave is not going to trudge through the lives of Laure and Erica, taking us into bedrooms and kitchens and school meetings; we hop and bounce and move through their worlds, seldom seeing them together, but always connecting, and always dreaming of what might have been if....

It's a technique whose use means that a reader wanting a saga, a densely woven tapestry of emotional connections explored and explained, is not going to be satisfied. This story explores how the truly, intensely important loves in our lives crystallize us. Shaping the futire is not all that often a deliberate act, despite the mountains of books and stories that tell us we can take charge, we can direct our own life-movie. Erica meeting Laure awoke to her bisexuality, and I am here on this Earth to tell you that sexual awakening is not under the awakened's conscious control and is seldom a force for good until lots of painful lessons about emotions and plans gone awry are learned. Erica and Laure set in motion changes and processes of healing and cycles of misery and destruction in their lives. Lives lived, of course, but more interestingly roads not taken. These are the strands of Author Hargrave's story that sang and shimmered in my mind's eye.

I must say that this technique militates against deeper explorations of the women's relationship to each other. There is an inevitable sense of unsettledness, of being in motion without being headed in any particular direction, as a price exacted for seeing into the "almost lives" that pepper every person's experience—without most of us being aware of them, aware of their ghosts anyway.

I'm sure this story would ignite terrific book club discussions. It's tailor-made for the present moment of multiple inflection points converging on unknowable futures that preclude each other. Well worth your time and treasure.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sometimes when you read an ARC, you get this feeling of overwhelming excitement, knowing something great awaits the reading community and once it is out into the world, it is guaranteed to become a star. Almost Life is one of those books.

Spanning decades from the late 1970s to early 2010s, Almost Life follows the intertwined lives of two women who meet on the steps of the Sacré-Cœur on a stifling hot summer day. What ensues is an honest and messy exploration of love, life, identity, motherhood, and grief. It is a dance between two souls that will define not only their lives, but those around them.

Against the political and social backdrop of the 1970s/80s, we see Laure and Erica evolve from Montmartre to Norfolk and everywhere in between. I love the vivid descriptions of locations and depiction of art in this novel, grounding and guiding readers from one moment in time to the next. The secondary characters further enrich this journey.

Yes, this is a sapphic love story. It is also complex and heartbreaking and frustrating and everything in between.

a favourite 2026 release.

out on March 24th. Thank you to summit books and simon & schuster canada.

[Florence K · Rating 1 out of 5]

This stupid fucking book. This book was Normal People for people with a total lack of critical thinking skills. Author chronically addicted to telling not showing. Every slightly interpretable sentence followed up by a paragraph of explaining what it meant as if I’m 5 fucking years old. I am a GROWN WOMAN. You needed to tell me the characters were being discriminated against for being gay as if I couldn’t tell by the fact that it was Paris in the 1980s?? Did I need to have it spelled out for me that Erica was still in love with Laure for the specific reason of XYZ??? On a similar note, there were so many parts of this book that felt awkwardly inserted for the modern reader’s sake, little asides like “btw erica was insecure about her weight!“ or “btw laure was REALLY confused about why kids these days cared so much about pronouns!” which felt so unnatural and inauthentic to me. Oh my god also the THERAPY TALK in this book, it is an epidemic. People are not that well adjusted in real life or aware of the root of their own feelings it feels so ingenuine and frankly in paris even 10 years ago there is NO WAAAAY everyone was going to therapy once a week. And certainly not Laure, that inarticulate motherfucker. Be so fr

Anyway I have never read a book with a lesbian couple as its central focus which is so obsessed with men. Like there is absolutely no world in which this book passed the Bechdel test. Even in scenes when Erica’s boyfriend wasn’t being lauded as the next Messiah, even in scenes between Erica and HER LESBIAN GIRLFRIEND LAURE, ALL this woman wants to talk about is how Laure is so sexy because she’s EXACTLY LIKE A MAN and her VIOLENTLY MAN-LIKE APPEARANCE AND MANNERISMS are what makes her admirable and attractive. Keep in mind laure is fully a she/her. Masc lesbians are absolutely a thing but this felt like it went beyond that into profound man-obsession. Like if you want a boyfriend so badly just say that 😭 and god this book bangs on for so long about how erica’s boyfriend is the best writer on ERICA’S creative writing course and then erica spends her entire life rotting in his shadow it’s SOOOO DEPRESSING AND DUMB. And listen Kiran Millwood Hargrave i fucking KNOW THAT’S THE POINT. I KNOW WE’RE BEING SHOWN HOW WOMEN GIVE UP THEIR AGENCY WHEN THEY DON’T LIVE FOR THEMSELVES. But when you parrot a character who views men as the great ideal of human existence without presenting a convincing argument against that mindset, when your character’s only other option is to come crawling back to her other lover who is a woman that she views as a man, when you doom her to a life of dependence no matter which path she chooses, then all you’re really doing is amplifying that misogynistic point of view! Even the summer i turned pretty season 3 knew to give belly a year in paris alone to find herself without conrad or jeremiah!

Okay christ MOVING ON. Some other things mentioned unnecessarily frequently in this book were BREASTS, NIPPLES, and for some reason, getting sugar high?? God knows why, you are in Paris in the 1980s, you could get real drugs. Anyway this author had her characters describing their own boobs so frequently and in such unnecessary detail that I genuinely had to google the author to check that the book wasn’t written by a man. Reader, it wasn’t. It was written by a woman who used boob description as a device through which to appear deep, edgy, and french.

I did not ship the couple in this book. I hated both of the characters in the ship. I didn’t care about their relationship and I didn’t really get why they liked each other so much. I thought Laure was actually rude as fuck and then became miraculously therapyified with age in a way that didn’t feel earned. Erica was USELESS OH MY GOD never has a woman needed to be cinderella complexed more in her life, and I also don’t think being with Laure would have saved her or made her better, I think that the only thing that would have helped her is to have been single and to have learned to be independent. On the other hand other characters often blamed erica for things she really was not to blame for (and were framed as being in the right) and it felt so odd, like the author had wanted to write a complex female character without letting her actually do anything that bad.

This brings me to my next point: everything in this book felt unearned. The love, the resentment, the fights, the make-ups, the careers, the decisions made, everything. The relationships between the protagonists and their other lovers were lazily written and had no substance or real emotional evidence for why they mattered, and were held together with seemingly random parenthetical mentions of “he was her favourite person in the world” etc which just made me feel like… huh?? Since when?? And why the hell was erica fully aware that the love of her life had had a stroke and might well die and then just forgot about her for an extremely long time only to google her one day and discover she had died THREE YEARS AGO??!!! Like you spend 400 pages banging on about her but don’t bother to send a telegram to the hospital in all that time or at least check her facebook status or something???? Make it make sense bro. For fuck’s sake.

Also the time period was so lazily researched and it felt like it could have happened in any time period and was only happening in 70s and 80s Paris to make its readership fangirl about how romantic and deep it was. All the art talk and book talk also felt lazily researched, like the author was just grasping at straws trying to mention all of the limited number of poems and pieces of art she had consumed so as to appear cultured. As if both of the protagonists’ favourite art installation on earth was monet’s waterlilies. Come on.

In conclusion, this book was hollow and substanceless to me and relentlessly trying to be something it wasn’t. Splitting a 400 page book into 12 chapters like you think you’re donna tartt. Fuck off. I swear every time I put myself out there and try to enjoy just one modern lesbian novel it ends up being a massive flop. WHY DO YOU PEOPLE HATE ME?! I’M A LESBIAN! I LIKE TO READ! I WANT TO READ A GOOD LESBIAN BOOK! IS IT SO HARD TO WRITE ONE! Can no one serve a little alice walker just once?!!!

Anyhow, I will keep opening myself up to love and light despite this great betrayal. Thank you for witnessing my pain and goodnight.

[readerLina · Rating 4 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This book was quite a journey, and I am so glad I savored it and took my time with it. It reminded me so much of the Before movie trilogy and Sylvia Brownrigg’s “Pages for You”, two pieces of media that I LOVE. The first part is (just like in the first movie) the most romantic and “idealistic”, they’re young and free, but things kind of go downhill the further you get into the story.

I loved the prose and the fact that the author went into such detail describing every place Erica and Laure visited. I felt like I was transported to Paris, and I had so much fun Googling everything. I was overwhelmed with emotion throughout the whole book, and the side characters (especially Michel) left a lasting impact on me. I loved the care she put into crafting everyone.

I definitely felt like some of the slower parts dragged on a little bit, so i was bored at times (which is why I took one star out) but overall, this was a beautiful experience. I shed a few tears throughout the story, and i was completely inconsolable while reading the last two chapters. Now i am left with a total book hangover from this.

I have to end this by mentioning that I definitely see the book to film adaptation potential. Hope I get to see it someday!

[Constance · Rating 2 out of 5]

2,5 stars tbh. I have so many notes. The whole book was giving the author studied abroad in Paris and needed the world to know.
Firstly, Laure fell into such french caricatures at first and then finally had character growth. Erica on the other hand was the opposite! She fell into the typical woman who loses herself in marriage and motherhood trope but not in a well done way. Secondly, the dialogue was infuriating! Poorly done. Why was it mainly in french at first and then, until the end, all in english? Also if you're going to write in french have the decency to check if it's correct... because it wasn't...
This read like a wattpad book especially in certain descriptions. I do enjoy reading a bad book once in a while though! Reminds me how good books are good!

[Liralen · Rating 4 out of 5]

When Erica and Laure meet in a sweltering Paris summer, it's a blip in their lives—until it isn't. That blip becomes a hookup, becomes a romance, unspools into something all-consuming. But Erica is only in France for the summer, and it's 1978, and being together requires a series of choices that Erica knows will upset the direction of her life. So she goes back to England—but that's really only the beginning.

She knew she could not live how Laure and her friends lived, at the edge of things, even in Paris. [...] She didn't want to exist like that. She wanted to get married, to have children. She wanted to write novels [...]. She wanted simple joy, simple happiness, simple love. And loving Laure, even if she were a man, would not be simple. (loc. 1123*)

Erica and Laure make for such messy, complex characters—maybe at the beginning one seems more straightforward than the other, or more confident in herself, but as time goes on the lines blur. They drink too much; they make bad decisions; they make good decisions; they have friends and lovers and dramas; some of their sharp edges blur into something more palatable and some of their more endearing personality traits wither over time. For Laure in some ways the question of their relationship is simpler; she is already entrenched in queer (though they would not use the term then) life in Paris, and when Erica dreams of them being together, it is back in Paris. Laure has already set aside a need for convention. But for Erica, in the 70s and 80s and beyond...she can see multiple paths, and multiple paths that would bring her joy. Some of them are easier than others.

I'm good at forgetting the book description by the time I read a book I'm interested in, so I didn't realize right away just how much time this would cover. Theirs is not a quick story, over in a summer—theirs is one of those relationships that pulls you in and spits you back out and you wonder, time and time again, if that was the one who got away...or rather, you know that was the one who got away. And what's left is what to do with that knowledge. Very much recommended to anyone with a queer one who got away and to lovers of character-driven stories.

*Quotes are from an ARC and may not be final.

Thanks to the author and publisher for providing a review copy through NetGalley.

[Ciara · Rating 1 out of 5]

Another "lesbian Normal People" attempt that ended up being a massive disappointment. (Does this even deserve to be in the same breath as Rooney’s? I think not.)

I was expecting Almost Life to be a new favorite, but I found it repetitive, often pretentious and obnoxiously bleak. The choice to market it as a love story was misleading. Chemistry and character growth are nowhere to be found, and its reliance on overused tropes was insufferable. Maybe the connection between the two women would’ve been more believable and exciting if more time was devoted to actually exploring it, rather than excessively focusing on side characters lives too.

For anyone else underwhelmed I highly recommend another decades-spanning sapphic literary romance, Ordinary Love by Marie Rutkoski.

[Abbie Toria · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars

Almost Life made me feel all the emotions.

🇫🇷 Historical & contemporary fiction
✒️ Follows the lives of Laure and Erica from 1980s onwards
🍷 Dual POV
🇫🇷 Paris & Norfolk
✒️ LGBTQIA+
🍷 For fans of One Day
✒️ From one of my favourite authors!

So many parts of Almost Life hurt my heart to read. My feelings about Laure and Erica completely changed from my first impressions. There is so much hurt and hurting those around them, as well as joy and love.

We explore love, writing, art, Paris, identity, addiction, and more than anything, the road not taken, an almost life, and how it can haunt you.

Paris was a character in itself and I loved my time there. We see the LGBT+ community and culture there in the 80s and 90s, and I definitely want to find out more about the history now. Laure's close friend Michel was my favourite character; he's a fierce friend and I loved their friendship.

Multiple characters in the novel talk about how Laure, who's an art theorist, helped them appreciate art in a new way, and this was the case for me too. I will also certainly be trying to look and immerse myself in an experience first before reaching for the camera.

Almost Life is beautifully written and will pull you in and break your heart.

[zara · Rating 4 out of 5]

that one brief lesbian situationship/fwb situation that defines AND haunts you for the rest of your tragic life

[Angie · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s a long story, but I walked into a bookstore in January and walked out with an ARC copy of this book. I intentionally don’t seek out ARCs because I don’t want to feel swayed to review a certain way. And I know this isn’t how ARCs work, but rather how I work. Anyway, I put off reading this for weeks because I knew it would be heart-wrenching. But I wasn’t sure if that feeling would make sense or feel earned.

Almost Life follows the lives of two women who meet in Paris, on the steps of the Sacré-Cœur. Erica is 18, embarking on her first solo trip to another country before she starts university in England. Laure is in her mid-twenties, a seasoned Parisian doing a PhD at the Sorbonne. She has very little patience for tourists, but beautiful women are always a bit of an exception. What was a memorable but disastrous first meeting turns into a summer of possibility, sexual awakenings and first loves. Until real life intrudes on their bubble.

The book continuously asks the question of What if? What if Erica had stayed in Paris? What if Laure had called Erica when she said she would? What if Laure had never kissed Erica in the first place?

What’s interesting to me about this novel is that I was never really sure I should be rooting for Erica and Laure at all. There are good reasons why they shouldn’t work, and yet I wanted them to work. Or rather, I wished for what was possible if they could work—of Erica being brave in all aspects of her life and not settling for what was comfortable, of Laure finding peace and true happiness in a sustaining love. Of course, the the alternatives didn’t seem too bad either (with one exception).

Am I being vague? I’m trying to be.

Almost Life spans decades in which the lives of these women continue to intersect—through heartbreak and new relationships, through sickness, grief, and new life. What remains constant is the possibility that *this* time will finally be the one where they’re both brave enough to really try.

Almost Life isn’t a romance, so it shouldn’t be a surprise where this story goes. But I have struggled to read too many books this year, and I didn’t want to put this one down.

4.5 stars. For as much as I liked this book, it definitely wasn’t perfect. Laure seemed a bit of a French cliché to me and France/Paris was romanticized way too much in this, but my complaints are small. It’s my first Kiran Millwood Hargrave and would definitely read more of her work.

[jocelyn • coolgalreading · Rating 3 out of 5]

it started off really strong but at the midway mark it started to feel like it was trying to be too emotionally punchy and i didn't really feel any chemistry between the two main characters

[Emily Catherine · Rating 5 out of 5]

FUCK.

CRYING IN THE CLUB RN.

I knew this was going to wreck me and yet I was somehow surprised when I cried for 15 minutes at the end of it.

The writing was fabulous — I was so immersed in their world of 70s/80s Paris and I felt like I was there with them. Even all the background characters were so fleshed out and real.

Erica and Laure were so complex and human. They were easily some of the most complicated main characters I’ve ever read. They were messy and made mistakes and had growth and then went back on it. It was refreshing to read a romance-centric book where the people are far from perfect and actively choose the human option rather than the novelistic one. I spent half of the book hating both women and their choices, and the other half cheering them on. I was desperate to see them get their happily ever after.

I keep thinking about Laure and Erica, and I know I’m going to keep thinking about them for the longest time.

(Idk if I’ll ever emotionally recover from the ending.)

[alyssa✨ · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5*

gotta collect my thoughts on this one …..

[sav · Rating 3 out of 5]

it was fine,other than it having 2 insufferable main characters that had no chemistry to each other, and i was not attached to anyone in this book in any way. which is unfortunate seeing i loved the concept but it was executed so badly. the cheating being brushed off is wild to me. erica kept making horrible decisions and saying/doing horrible things and getting no real consequences was wild to me !

[Siobhan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Almost Life is a novel about the lives two women did and could've led, as their love story never quite goes the right way. Erica is eighteen and in Paris for the summer before starting university, where she meets Laure by the Sacré-Cœur, a doctoral student at the Sorbonne. They are drawn to one another and fall in love, but the summer cannot last forever, and each choice they make changes their lives in different ways.

Told both from Erica and Laure's perspectives, this novel spans through their lives, using time jumps to show the impact of what happens in each section. Some moments were particularly powerful, like the depiction of a character with AIDS and his friends' support, and Laure's reflections on not having children, and the book delves deep into the idea of lives not lived, though at times this imagining feels a bit overdone, wallowing in miscommunications. I really liked some of the characterisation, for example Laure and Michel's friendship, and how the book explores the messiness of human connection. However, it did feel like any love that Erica or Laure felt other than for each other was stated by them a lot, but not really shown in any depth, even though these relationships were meant to be very important to the plot and their own relationship with each other.

This is a sad, queer 'what if?' type novel that hinges a lot around miscommunications and missed chances, exploring how sometimes romantic relationships never seem to get the right opportunity. Occasionally the conceit of everything being 'almost' was a bit wearing for me, but generally it is an emotional novel that feels like a successor to the gay novels mentioned in the book itself.

[Andrea (looseleftlesbian) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Welp, I knew I was going to cry. The publisher literally dared the reader not to cry while reading Almost Life. Going in, I knew I probably would. I’m a sucker for nostalgia and what ifs. I don’t think we think about how different our lives can be with one decision.

I wasn’t sure what I expected out of this story, but I got so much more out of it than I thought, especially with Laure’s story and struggle with alcohol.I loved both Erica and Laure, but found myself more drawn towards Laure throughout the story. Maybe that has to do with us both being lesbians. I often thought of it unfair how Erica could go and have the husband, kids, etc and still want more. To still take from Laure. I have no doubt that she loved Laure, but I can’t help thinking about how it all made Laure feel. To make love with your husband in her ex lover’s bed? To see her with her kids and wanting to have a child that is a blend of her and Erica.

I was screaming at Erica when she was drunk, accusing Laure of cheating in the 80s. The hypocrisy of it, her, cheating on her husband, accusing her lover of doing so. All while Laure’s best friend was dying. But at the same time, I didn’t hate Erica for it. I didn’t even dislike her. I hated some of her actions, sure, but I think the way the author told their love story, their individual stories, made me feel the unconditional love for both of them. I feel as if it is hard for me in real life, to seperate people from their actions. But in Almost Life, it was easy, simple almost. I should probably dive deeper into why that is, but like fiction and this story, I feel like it is better to lose myself in the story.

Perhaps I relate to Laure due to thinking of a single woman throughout the book. Thinking about who my Erica is. Bracing myself for being a friend in her life because I can’t fathom not being in it. Thinking about possibly having to see her with a man and children. Children I will wish were mine and hers. Erica lies to herself at first about who she is, her sexuality. My Erica does the same, but I feel as if she will never accept the truth like Erica did. Perhaps I am making Laure and Erica’s story too much about me, but what is fiction for after all?

I was wondering where they would end up. I hoped they would eventually be together but I knew in my heart they wouldn’t be. Even after the ocean scene, the finality of it, I was okay. But when Erica didn’t go to see Laure after the stroke, after her husband told her to go and that he knew about the affairs, I lost it. I can’t believe that she could be so selfish. Up until then, I understood her choices and decisions. I didn’t like them, but I understood. but she was selfish in not seeing her. Yes, I get not wanting to see her half paralyzed, but I feel as if there were other reasons. It being easier to be with her husband, the reason behind most of her decisions when it all boils down to it. While we get both POVs throughout the story, I started to see this as more of Laure’s story. I don’t know if that’s because she as a character grew more or if it’s because I saw so much of myself in her.

I am not sure how to feel about the death scene, about Erica not finding out about Laure’s death until three years after the fact. I keep thinking that it was true love that Laurie had for Erica, true love that had her thinking of someone who hurt her so much, so many times, but she still forgave her in the end. I can’t help but wonder if Erica’s love for Laure was ever that way or even real. Maybe that’s unfair. Maybe I’ll think differently once some time passes and these emotions aren’t so raw.

I don’t know how to explain what this book did and is doing to me. I feel seen and I feel alone. Because how do you explain to a friend the profound sadness you feel in your chest over a character? How do you explain that you’re scared the same will happen to you?

I will never forget this book. I will never forget Laure, Erica, or Michel. I am not sure if I will be able to reread this, but I will buy the physical book. This will be in my top five of books I’ve read.

In the words of Laure, “There is little to say because sometimes words are so small.”

[nat ☾ · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for the opportunity of reading this arc.

Now, I’m feeling very conflicted about this book because while I was seeing a lot of 5 stars ratings for this one I couldn’t feel the same. It is not that I hated the book but it didn’t resonate with me as I hoped it would. I LOVE stories about missed chances with queer characters (don’t dwell too much on that). I love the angst and the pain of wanting to be with someone but feeling like you can’t and that’s what I thought this book would be but that in the end there would be some hope to hold on to.

I can’t pinpoint exactly what went wrong in this book for me but from the start I found the writing a little hard to get used to and then I just couldn’t connect to the characters in any way. The descriptions of the characters felt way different than what you see in front of the book and the “resolution” of the story didn’t satisfy me with all that we went through in the book. The cheating and the fact that it fell a little into the stereotype of bisexual people will always cheat. The issues with Erica’s body and postpartum depression weren’t explored more and they were just simply mentioned here and there. There were some things that just happened and then were never addressed anymore. It had important themes to explore but most of them went under the rug, which was a little weird because we got two main problems (alcoholism and AIDS) that got devoted time and attention and had their resolution.

I know for now I’m in the minority of not loving this book but I would still recommend if you are interested in a story like this.

[emily faye · Rating 5 out of 5]

Almost Life by Kiran Millwood Hargrave has left me utterly speechless. Words can't even begin to describe how this book made me feel, but I will try (with tears still rolling down my face)

This god damn book tore me in half, and I haven't gone a day without thinking of it since. The two main characters, Erica and Laure, feel so palpable I genuinely felt as if I was walking among them.

Set in the late 70s, the story follows Erica, freshly eighteen, fleeing Norfolk for a dreamlike summer in Paris. When she meets Laure on the steps of the Sacré-Cœur, she isn't prepared for how irrevocably her life is about to change.

Laure is a philosophy student who is unapologetically Parisian, dominant, and who's living in a way that both fascinates and unsettles Erica. Erica on the other hand, is young, inexperienced, and riddled with insecurities and a shame she doesn't yet understand. The way these two orbit each other is SO consuming.

The novel unfolds chronologically throughout the years, expanding beyond Erica and Laure to the people who shape their lives. Each character feels so rich and distinct, identifiable from one another in a way that made me come to love them all in their own light. The writing is so descriptve and immersive, and while I myself have never visited Paris, I felt like I was right there experiencing it for myself.

So much thought and love has been poured onto these pages. So much reflection, doubt, and humanness. The way Kiran explores sexuality, addiction, sobriety, and the AIDS epidemic is handled with such care. It feels so unapologetically intimate and raw.

I find myself gravitating back to this book constantly, replaying moments and characters in my mind. Almost Life is a profoundly multifaceted exploration of desire, identity, love, and becoming. I plan to reread this ASAP!!

Thank you so very much to Macmillan Aus for the ARC.

[Emeline vdc · Rating 2 out of 5]

fuck you, erica

[Abigail · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars. Finally able to write this now that I'm not crying! Sometimes you come across books with titles that don’t quite make sense in the context of the book. Almost Life is not one of those books. A story of two women who love each other throughout their lives, circling the other. Almost, but never truly succeeding in making a life together.

I loved the characters here. Erica is relatable, messy, and at times unlikeable. Laure is just as relatable, critical, and tragic. Even the side characters were lovely, Michel especially dear god.

The writing of this book was so immersive that decisions felt like I was on the receiving end of them. I experienced so many emotions during this book, including: crying three separate times. It was painful, the way in which things never worked for Erica and Laure. Seeing the effect of marrying Ant and becoming a mother on Erica was especially difficult for me.

Erica choosing not to see Laure, the description of Laure’s death, and Erica finally learning about it three years after actually destroyed me.

I am not a fan of the bury your gays trope, and wasn’t really prepared for that coming into this, if one could argue that’s what’s present here, but I think it made sense in the context of the narrative.

The author did an amazing job writing this, I cannot stress that enough. But god was this painful to read. Absolutely devastating. This book will undoubtably stay in my mind for the next few weeks and I will be unable to escape it. Most definitely will be purchasing a copy when it is released. UPDATE: Bought my copy!!!

Many thanks to NetGalley and to the publisher for providing the e-ARC for honest review.

[brea · Rating 4 out of 5]

"She wanted this life. She chose him." mind you there weren't any other options left ???? lol i liked most of the book but hated the ending lol

[Yasmine · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Bonjour” 😭😭😭😭😭😭 yeah tears streaming down my face finishing this book. I loved Kiran’s writing, loved this story. Heartbreaking queer story from the 1970’s into 2013. Wow, I felt like I went through it with Erica and Laure.

This really did feel like the French version of Sally Rooney, beautifully done.

[Angela Woods · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book will piss you off, and it will make you sob.
I love, love flawed people falling in flawed love....I had a hard time putting this down and the ending...gosh darn, ouch, says my heart.

[Mary in the sky · Rating 5 out of 5]

What the fuck. I’m SOBBING and I’ll be INSUFFERABLY recommending this book to everyone. SAPPHIC YEARNING is everything to me.

[daisy · Rating 3 out of 5]

For Erica and Laure, a heady summer in Paris is the start of a lifelong love affair. We first meet Erica at the cusp of adulthood, as a tourist in Paris, infatuated by a young woman sitting reading on the steps of the Sacré-Cœur. What follows is a messy and intense exploration of identity, self-discovery, love, loss, and heartbreak. The story begs the question of will-they-won’t-they, and even when our two main characters are separated by hundreds of kilometres, we see how their love for each other and their time together affect their lives and choices.

As time passes and our characters change, we see how the world around them changes alongside. Because even though this is a love story, it is also so much more than that. It is a love letter to art and history with social and political commentary present throughout the entirety of the story as well.

As much as I adored the wide cast of characters, I do unfortunately think that this was the reason why I didn’t fully connect with any of the characters in this story on a deeper level. I enjoyed reading about them all and exploring their stories, but at no point did I feel a stronger connection to any one of them, and this unfortunately did affect my reading experience. Despite this, I can acknowledge how raw and moving a story this was, and I do see this becoming a favourite among many.

The publisher very kindly provided this arc through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.