⭐️ 3.5/5 — A full-on love–hate relationship kinda read—one minute I’m obsessed, the next I’m ready to throw my e-reader across the room 😭❤️🔥
🌶 2.5/5 — More slow simmer than full boil, but the tension still had me fanning myself like a drama queen 😌🔥
📣 Book Club Shoutout — aka The Collective Breakdown Squad 📣
To my BC babes—y’all are absolute menaces and I love you for it. 💀💞 We might’ve read this one separately, but the way our discussion turned into a full-blown emotional circus?? ICONIC. 🤌🏻😭 From dramatic rants to unhinged theories to collectively losing our minds over (almost) every chapter 🤣—this was hands down one of our most chaotic, hilarious, and animated reads ever. 🤭😆
I swear half the fun was screaming about it with you girls instead of the book itself. 😂📚 Love youuu, my unhinged book gremlins 💋💖
💭 My Rambling 💭
This book was one of my most anticipated reads, and holy puck, I’ve been vibrating with excitement since the moment it was announced. Like—hello?? Hockey romance AND a D-Man + Goalie pairing?? My absolute favorite. 🥵🏒 That combo owns my soul, my heart, and every last brain cell I have left. And don’t even get me started on how Poetry on Ice is my 2nd fave Jesse H. Reign book, so you know I was feral at the thought of seeing Robbie McGuire and Ant Decker again. 😍🥰 My hockey-romance-loving heart was doing backflips and ugly crying at the same time. 😭💞
BUUUTTT, here comes the real talk. 😌 I have MAJOR LOVE-HATE FEELINGS for this book and the characters. Like, I swear JHR was experimenting with a new formula here. The dynamic feels totally different from what I’ve come to expect from her. It’s slow burn and low heat—which, let’s be honest, is kinda unusual for JHR. But hey, maybe I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about; this is only my 6th book by her, after all. 😅
Still, it felt like the book couldn’t quite decide what direction it wanted to take, and the EMOTIONAL WHIPLASH was real. One minute I loved it, the next I wanted to throw it across the room. By the time I finished, I was so damn stressed trying to figure out what rating to give it. 😭🫠
🏒🥅 The MCs 🥅🏒
Teddy — My sweet, soft Teddy Bear 😭💔 Ugh, this boy went through hell growing up—being gay, bullied, dealing with anxiety and depression… but the hardest part? That deep, soul-crushing, unrequited love for Sev. Like, my man was out here pining for a decade, collecting rejections like Pokémon cards 😭💔 The hoping, the waiting, the heartbreaks, the anger—it was pure agony to read. I wanted to wrap him up in a blanket, hand him some cocoa, and tell Sev to get his shit together. 😤🫠
Sev — The bane of Teddy’s entire existence and the wolf who thinks he’s an elephant 🐺🐘🙄 He didn’t exactly have it easy either—alcoholic parents, an abusive father, and no real sense of home until Nathan came along. 😔💔 He’s been clawing his way out of that darkness, trying so damn hard to build a life that doesn’t mirror where he came from. And god, I get him, even when I wanna shake him by the shoulders and scream, “MAN UP AND JUST PICK TEDDY ALREADY!” 😫😮💨
💔🏒 “Permission Denied” and the Dumbass Bro Code 🧠🚫
Quote (Sev):
I was on my way to ask for permission, and I knew it. There was a slight flurry in my chest that went with that, but honestly, no part of me thought that permission wouldn’t be granted. Not even the smallest, most self-loathing part of me thought that. I thought it was a formality. The right thing to do. A nod to the bro code. A necessary check in a box.
💭 That scene right there? HUGE for me. Because Sev was all cute and nervous in his rare button-up shirt—you just know the man was trying, okay?! 🥺 Like, it screamed: “I respect Nate. I’m confident. I’m serious about Teddy.” And then… BOOM. Nate drops the emotional nuke. ❌ No permission. Nope. Denied. With bonus shade that Sev isn’t “good enough” for Teddy and a sprinkle of “if you do it, we’re done being brothers.” 🙃
And Sev? MY DUDE BACKPEDALED SO FUCKING FAST you’d think Teddy had just told him he tested positive for a brain-eating parasite. 🧠💀 As much as I wanted to hate Nate in that moment, I couldn’t—because Sev clearly wasn’t ready for Teddy. He was more afraid of losing Nate than losing the love of his life. Talk about tragic irony. 😭 This was 100% a “right person, wrong time” situation.
And yes, I get Sev. He was still young, clinging to Nate like a lifeline while trying to build a better life. But what really made me wanna yeet him off the ice was how, years later, he STILL didn’t have the guts to go after Teddy. Like… babe, how many calendar pages do you need to grow a spine? 🫠 If Teddy hadn’t made the first move, Sev would still be staring at his feelings like they’re quantum physics. 🙄
😤 The “Protective” Brother or… Something SUS AF 👀
Another character I both love and side-eye hard? Nate. 🫣 He straight-up crushed Sev and Teddy’s shot at happiness and never once looked back to rethink that decision. The man who’s supposedly “a good judge of character” and “loves them both deeply” just… never noticed he was the root cause of Teddy’s heartbreak and mental spiral? BE FOR REAL. 😩
Like—Teddy’s had a crush on Sev since he was, what, 10? 14? A decade of pining. 🫠 Nate’s so “attuned” to Teddy’s anxiety and depression, yet he never connected the dots? My brain was doing Olympic-level gymnastics trying to make sense of it. MAKE. IT. MAKE. SENSE. 😭
Honestly, part of me lowkey thinks Nate was (or is 👀) in love with Sev. Because the tension? The weird energy? The way he acted? Babe, it was giving “LOVE TRIANGLE I didn’t sign up for.” 🫣 And then that ending?! Nate shows up unannounced at Teddy’s apartment, finds out Sev’s dating him, throws a 5-second tantrum, and suddenly they’re all happy smiley besties again like nothing happened?? What the anticlimactic shit was THAT?!🧍🏻♀️
💅🏻 My Petty Grievances 🤨
😒 Ugh, the off-page drama. Sev still messing around with his on-off situationship Nadia for two freakin’ years, and Teddy out there hooking up with random guys? Yeah, no thanks, I didn’t sign up for that mess.
😤 Then we got Sev being so damn possessive over Teddy. Like, boy, YOU CAN’T KEEP COCKBLOCKING HIM every time he breathes near someone (poor Lockie never stood a chance 😭). Teddy’s 24, babe. Let the man flirt and live a little! I usually eat up the protective, possessive type, but here? Nah, this ain’t it. Especially when Sev ain’t even planning to love him romantically. 🙄
😩 And don’t even get me started on HOW SHORT THE HAPPY PARTS WERE. I suffered for chapters, and the reward? A CRUMB. A. Single. Crumb. Too much pain, not enough payoff, and my feelings are still in recovery. 💔
💖 Things That Stole My Cold, Bitter Heart 💖
😭 The flashbacks—holy hell, they wrecked me. Watching little Teddy grow up, trying so damn hard not to be left behind by Nate and Sev? Figuring out his sexuality, surviving the bullying, pushing himself in hockey just to feel worthy to stand beside them? Ugh, it hit me right in the chest. My poor baby Teddy deserved the world and a long-ass nap. 🥺💔
🤣 And then there’s Mae, the 82-year-old menace with a sailor’s mouth and a heart of gold. I swear, she’s my spirit animal. That woman had me cackling one second and soft the next. She’s charming, chaotic, and utterly unforgettable. Protect her at all costs, please. 🙏🏻💅🏻
🖋️ And of course, JHR’s writing—god, that woman can write. The way she strings emotions together is just chef’s kiss. 🤌🏻💋 Her words have that punch that makes everything hit harder. Even when the story made me wanna throw my e-reader, I couldn’t stop reading because her prose? Addictive as hell. 😭✨
📝 TLDR 📝
Give this one a go if you like…
💙 Slow burn MM romance with years of pining and tension that could power a small city
🏒 Sports romance vibes—hockey, locker rooms, and that tight-knit team energy
😩 The “right person, wrong time” heartbreak that makes you wanna scream into your pillow
🤝🏻 Complicated friendship-turned-love with messy emotions and loyalty tested hard
🧠 Characters dealing with anxiety, self-worth, and emotional growth
👵🏻 A hilarious 82-year-old lady who steals every damn scene she’s in
Basically, if you want a story that’ll make you yell “JUST KISS ALREADY” every ten pages while clutching your chest like a drama queen—this one’s for you 😭🔥
-
Quotes: ⚠️ Spoilers ⛔️
To this day, when anyone asks me to describe my happy place, I don’t need to think about my answer. The place that comes to mind is Sev on my right, Nate on my left, and me in the middle, grinning like an idiot.
-
When people ask what made me decide to become a goalie, I usually say I can’t remember. If they press for more, I give them a little spiel about my agility, focus, and passion for the game. What I don’t ever tell them is the truth: an offhand comment by my brother’s best friend changed the trajectory of my life. I never tell anyone that when I was ten, I marched myself into the coach’s office at the start of the season and demanded to try out for goalie. I don’t say that when he asked why I wanted to do it, I answered, “My reflexes are fire, Coach,” with absolute certainty.
-
“You’re always telling me what you’re like, Teddy, what you want and what you need, but here’s what I’m like: I will watch over you. I will make sure you’re okay, and I will step in if you’re not.”
No matter how many times my heart hears shit like this, and no matter how many times I explain to it that he doesn’t mean it like that, it takes it the wrong way—the racing, beating out of my chest, can’t breathe in or out way.
“Whatever,” I say, raising my hand and giving him the finger as I head to my car.
It’s your fault I’m like this, asshole.
-
“D-do you say fuck a lot?” I ask stupidly.
Her cheeks bunch in a sweet smile. “I do, dear. I believe in it. Did you know that on average, people who cuss a lot live five years longer than those who don’t?”
“I-I didn’t know that.”
“Well, that’s because I just made it up, but it could be true. It’s probably true. Actually, I’m quite sure it’s true. You can quote me on it if you’d like.”
-
Even though more than one therapist has assured me that Sev’s possessiveness of me is a flaw, I love it. I know it’s problematic, and it’s not a compliment or aspirational in any way.
I know it’s a red flag.
Too bad I eat that shit up.
-
I had a thing about being included, or more accurately, excluded. My mom said I was oversensitive to it. She said I perceived rejections, whether or not they actually happened, and when they did, I made them into a way bigger deal than they needed to be.
-
“I-it’s true. It’s true. The things they were saying about me. They’re all true.”
“Hey, don’t cry, Tee. This doesn’t change a thing. You’re the same person you’ve always been.”
“You’re my Bear. My Teddy Bear.”
“Am I still?”
“Of course you are. Nothing could ever change that.”
-
The magic happens when electric blue softens. Acid is neutralized and good things, soft things, flow from him to me.
It almost takes my knees out.
There he is. The sweet boy who used to follow Nate and me everywhere.
No matter how prickly or spiteful he’s been, when he smiles at me like this, none of it matters. Time doesn’t matter. When I see him like this, I don’t see bad things. I don’t even feel like I’m a bad thing.
When I see him like this, I see him as he was. As he is.
A sweet boy. A soft boy. A boy I want to protect.
-
“Uh, what kinds of books do you read?”
“Strictly smut, dear. I used to read more widely, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve found I really don’t have time for that spiceless crap. If a book ain’t spicy, I ain’t reading it.”
-
As someone who’s spent a lot of his life not feeling seen, this kind of undivided attention is like crack to me.
-
“Seducing men is easy. Just present yourself in various states of undress, and say whatever filth comes to mind. No filter, no shame. Works like a charm. You’ll have him right where you want him in no time.”
-
His ass cheeks bunch and relax as he moves. Glutes engage and extend. Engage and extend.
Each time it happens, a little more flesh peeks out at me.
Eventually, I crack. “I think you should put some pants on.”
“But I’m comfortable like this.” His lips curl and he blitzes me with a dazzling faux-innocent smirk. “Don’t you want me to be happy?”
“I want you to be happy with pants on,” I grind out.
-
“Thank you for telling me,” I say, clamping my lips together to snuff out the sound of my heart breaking. “It’s not what I wanted to hear, and I’m so fucking sorry that you went through that.” A sob rushes to the surface and leaves me, and this time, I don’t fight it. “I understand where you’re coming from now. I didn’t know lots of the things you’ve told me, but I do now. I appreciate you telling me because, for me, loving someone means loving them whole. Good things and bad. Light, happy parts and dark parts too. Love means knowing and accepting someone as they are, not as you want them to be or think they are. And I do, Sev.” My voice cracks and an avalanche of tears begins to fall. “I love you so fucking much, and I’m not going to stop. I’ve tried for years to stop, and it hasn’t worked at all. It’s only made me feel crazy and depressed. So I’m going to keep loving you as you are…” I sniff softly. “But I’m going to respect your decision.”
-
“We learned that no one touches the goalie and gets away with it, Coach.”
-
“Can I suck it?” he asks, voice laced with hope.
“No, you can’t suck it.” I shake my head and wave emphatically at our surroundings. “We’re on the street, Teddy. Of course you can’t suck it. I shouldn’t even be doing this here.”
His lip quirks up in a question. “Why are you doing it then, and more to the point, what are you doing?”
I look left and right furtively, doing a quick one-eighty to make sure no one can see us. The coast is clear, so I take my dick in my hand, circling it tightly and squeezing as I drag my hand down my shaft. A clear drop of liquid forms at the tip. I scoop it up with my middle and pointer fingers.
I hold my fingers up for him to see, letting the light hit what I have for him, making it glisten.
“I’m giving you a little something to tide you over,” I say as though it should be obvious.
He snatches my hand in both of his and brings it to his lips. His head tilts to the side and his lips part. My fingers sink into his mouth. Soft lips envelop them. Blunt teeth scrape sensitive skin, and the wet, slight roughness of his tongue laps at my fingertips.
He looks me dead in the eyes as he does it, and I moan.
I fucking moan.
There I was, thinking I’d be okay. Thinking I could touch him and survive it. Thinking I could be with him and come out of it unscathed.
Now here I am, feeding him precum on the side of the street, moaning my ass off as he eats it.
-
⚠️ Detailed spoilers below ⛔️
RC and MCs:
🏒🥅 MM, strict top/bottom
🏒🥅 Sev Delorean 28yo and Teddy "T-Dog" O'Reilly 24yo
🏒🥅 Sev: NHL D-man. Blackeyes’ first-line defenseman.
🏒🥅 Teddy: NHL goalie. Blackeyes’ first-line goalkeeper.
🏒🥅 Sev: Top, bi, shoulder-length thick black hair (tied into a bun with black hair tie), deep-set dark eyes, muscular (more than Teddy), taller than Teddy
🏒🥅 Teddy: Bottom, gay, blue eyes, pale complexion, muscular
Genre and tropes:
🏒🥅 MM contemporary romance
🏒🥅 Hockey romance
🏒🥅 Older brother’s best friend/best friend’s younger brother
🏒🥅 Teammates
🏒🥅 Forced proximity
🏒🥅 Roommates to lovers
🏒🥅 Forbidden romance (due to "bro code" 🙄)
🏒🥅 Pining/slow burn
🏒🥅 Protective older brother (Nate 😑)
🏒🥅 Possessive MC
🏒🥅 Childhood crush/sexual awakening
🏒🥅 Indirect dual timeline narrative
🏒🥅 Obsessive love (Teddy)
🏒🥅 J/P MC (Sev)
🏒🥅 Protective MC (Sev)
🏒🥅 Pet names: Teddy Bear, baby
Safety info:
🏒🥅 Angst: Medium to high
🏒🥅 OPD: Sev had an on-off two-year relationship with a girlfriend during the years when he secretly longed for Teddy. Teddy also had hookups with other men during the years he loved Sev.
🏒🥅 Cheating/sharing: No
🏒🥅 Third act breakup: No, but there are conflicts and separations of sorts caused by external pressures (brother's best friend "off limits" rule) and internal denial of feelings.
🏒🥅 Ending: HFN
🏒🥅 Epilogue: Yes (4 months later)
🏒🥅 POV: Dual, 1st person
🏒🥅 Series structure: Interconnected standalone
Spice and kinks:
Spanking, fingering, bareback, blowjob, rimming, frotting, saliva as lube
CW/TW:
Explicit sexual content, difficult childhood (alcoholic parent, off-page domestic abuse), mental health struggles (anxiety, depression, hinted but not fully explored), one instance of homophobia/bullying (resolved with violence)