The Aftermath of Forever: How I Loved and Lost and Found Myself

by Natalye Childress

Love and music collide in this refreshing, uplifting memoir that chronicles the romantic coming-of-age of a woman in her 20s experiencing the dating scene in the San Francisco Bay Area. After the disappointment of a failed marriage, Natalye Childress embarks on a soul-searching journey to discover what happens when true and everlasting turns out not to last that long. Using music as a vehicle to express herself, she revisits 10 men of her past and paints a portrait of their relationship through the mixtapes she made them. Her quest for love sees her take up with noncommittal beaus and abusive boyfriends and give the always-complicated friends-with-benefits relationship a try. She candidly dissects her love life as she shares the inspiring and hopeful moments alongside the awkward and painful relationships that accompany dating in the modern world, all on the way to discovering the truth of the age-old maxim: in order to be truly loved, you need to love yourself first.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir

160 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2014

Reviews

[Susanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm always eager to read books about music, and even more so books about women's experiences with music, so I snapped this book up as soon as I heard about it. What I most admired about Childress's memoir was her compact storytelling. The whole book is fairly slim, yet in it she tells the story of ten relationships that allowed her to explore her "new normal" after a somewhat short marriage imploded. Her sketches of each of her ten partners was deft and quick—I could visualize and differentiate each one. Personally, I always crave a deep emotional experience, which isn't really this author's style. But I did appreciate her somewhat analytical—yet intimate—approach to these experiences, and as an added bonus, I liked experiencing San Francisco around the millennium through her eyes. I didn't know all the songs on the mixtapes, but looks like Childress is making the playlists available at 8tracks.com/theaftermathofforever.

[Rosamund · Rating 4 out of 5]

Natalye was one of the first people I met when I came to Berlin in September, when I went to her public reading of this book. I was moved by the candour of the passages she selected, so I knew that I would have to actually read the book at some point.

For that reason, I fear my inevitable bias will come through in this review, but it really is a great memoir. It was super refreshing to read of a female "character" who doesn't falter in instigating contact with people she wants to date or sleep with. The music theme was also awesome; not only were many of the tracks in each chapter's mixtape by bands I already know and like, but I totally relate to life being a mixtape and finding yourself in music. And many songs or bands being too painful to listen to after you have associated them with someone.

The conclusion is analytical but hopeful, and I'm glad it's a happy ending!

[Collette · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was one of the few lucky winners of this ARC from Goodreads giveaway. I absolutely loved it! It was an addicting read. I'm a female in my mid-twenties who has gone through similar dating experiences as the author and after feeling horrible about myself as a result of these "hook ups" and relationships, I found this book to be very relatable. For being her debut novel, I thought she did a fantastic job and the only criticism I had with the book was that it wasn't longer :)

4.5/5

[Karen]

I was a lucky winner of this book in the Good Reads Giveaway, and I'm so glad I was. There were times where I felt I was reading about part of my own dating experiences. I enjoyed the fact that she made each relationship a mixed tape, whether they failed miserable or not. I agree with another reviewer though, the only negative is that there weren't more stories, because I didn't want the book to end!

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

A page-turner to every extent of the expression. So proud of Natalye for getting this work published!

[Cynthia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Definitely a fun read-- a strange thing to say about stories of failed relationships, but I read it over a span of a few hours and couldn't put it down.

[Natty Askanase · Rating 4 out of 5]

shoutout this book for recognizing woke up new by the mountain goats as one of the all time devastating breakup tunes

[Nathan · Rating 3 out of 5]

i enjoyed reading this, but it was superficial and sometimes repetitive: get drunk, meet boys, hookup for awhile, eventually get ghosted probably describes half of the chapters. i could relate to some of the men -- staying in a failed relationship because of attachment to a step child, being too direct in ways that are hurtful, and being unsatisfied intellectually with romantic partners. i wish she had gotten deeper into the character development of herself and the men she dated, and provided more context and an arc to connect the different stories. it was a reminder that humans are interesting and varied, but also that life is often banal.

[Allison · Rating 5 out of 5]

A perfect rainy day read (I finished this in one sitting!). In this memoir, Natalye shares about ten different relationships. Music lovers will connect with her mixtapes listed in each chapter. Overall, it was engaging & made me reflect on my own relationships, what love and closure is, and reminded me of how integral music is to my own memories. Highly recommend 📚

[Veronica · Rating 2 out of 5]

Cool premise, neat tune suggestions, I just found it tremendously unrelatable.

[Fiona · Rating 3 out of 5]

"I realised then that there could no longer be any backward movement in my life" and "I found myself trying - really and truly trying - to recall all the details and make certain my narrative was a version of the truth" - YES! Thank you, Natalye.

[Robin · Rating 2 out of 5]

It may be that I'm just not up for this subject matter these days, but most of the descriptions of Childress's failed relationships were bland and repetitive. I felt like I never got to understand what she was looking for, nor did I learn much about the people she dated.