Love, Always: Partners of Trans People on Intimacy, Challenge & Resilience

by Jordon Johnson (Editor), Becky Garrison (Editor)

In 50 self-searching, witty, and moving essays, letters, and poems, readers hear from those who often receive little airtime in popular culture: The partners & spouses of transgender people.

In this first-of-its kind collection, we catch glimpses of love, strife, and growth from those who witness and support gender transition, even as they themselves are going through their own transition in seeing gender, labels, and their own selves anew.

~~~

“I have long awaited a collection like this one."
- Helen Boyd, author of 'She's Not the Man I Married'

"Revealing, wrenching."
- Diane Anderson-Minshall, author of 'Queerly Beloved'

Genres: LGBT, Nonfiction, Gender Studies, Queer

260 pages, Paperback

First published February 14, 2015

Reviews

[Kimberly · Rating 4 out of 5]

"If I have all these prejudices, I think - someone who has worked so hard at being unbiased, who understands that no one can be summed up by a single attribute, who preaches regularly that we must see people as individuals and not as representatives of some artificial category we've constructed - if I can think these fantastical images apply to the person I've loved for twelve years, then what am I asking of others?"
p.131

"We were especially struck by one line: 'Loving trans people is a revolutionary act.' On a societal level that's true, but is it true between you and me? We looked at each other and shrugged... My love for you isn't revolutionary. It's inevitable."
p.272

[Rebekah · Rating 4 out of 5]

A beautiful collection of essays about being in a relationship with a trans* partner.

I started reading this during the early stages of Julie’s transition and it was too tough to continue. With time and perspective, these essays are so beautiful and comforting. It makes me realize how important representation is.

A favorite quote from one of the essays is “there’s no way to know how I’ll feel when something I hadn’t before fathomed occurs.”

Read for the 2018 Book Riot Read Harder Challenge: An essay anthology

[Andrew · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5? I guess? At some point I was just skimming stories here and there. Overall there's somewhat of a variety of stories told, but a very large portion of essays are from cis women who identify or used to identify as lesbian, and how their partner transitioning to male sent them into an identity crisis and were upset/angry at the loss of their visible lesbianism. This is a story I've already read so much elsewhere, so it wasn't interesting to me. Only one essay talks about a cis man/trans man relationship, and only a couple for cis man/trans woman. The majority is LGBT identified women with trans men partners, or straight cis women with trans women partners. A few were sweet and inspiring, but many were repetitive and felt like they weren't really new stories to learn about.

[Sarospice · Rating 2 out of 5]

It took forever to finish this, not for the number of essays, but the same stories being told over and over in the same format. Could be more interesting to those FTM or dating someone FTM, as most of the stories came from that perspective... My favorite was the very last bit that summed it up by Helen Boyd. Too academic and clinical for me, but I could see how some others might enjoy. I'll pass it along.

[Laura Howard · Rating 4 out of 5]

Moving stories.

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Since this is the first book I've ever read that is by and for partners of trans people I was probably bound to appreciate it quite a bit. Some of the thoughts expressed fit mine so exactly they could have been cut and pasted out of my own writing. On the other hand, I don't tend to read a lot about non-fiction love and relationships so unsurprisingly some of the writing was on the mushy side for me personally. But considering the specialist nature of the topic and the wide variety of contributors the quality of writing is high. Recommended reading for all trans people and their loved ones as well as other allies and health professionals.

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a difficult book to push through -- not because it's not good (it is, though it really needed to have more eyes on it during the editing process), but because it's all so powerful. I found myself stopping every few pages to find a damn bookmark and mark a particularly relevant or poignant section. Get the ebook and save yourself some hassle.

[Sheila · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a compilation of experiences of partner of trans people. I found this book refreshing in the variety of narratives it offered. Some hopeful, some challenging, some joyous, some depressing. I would recommend this book to anyone who cares for/is a partner of someone who is trans. Or anyone who wants to understand the partners of trans people better.

[Grace]

disclosure. i didnt finish this in its entirety so im not going to rate it. i downloaded this to try and understand what it would be like for someone whose parter transitioned. i wanted to educate myself. i read most of the essays and learned a lot. but i didnt feel obligated to finish it. my questions are answered.