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The Glitched Protocol: A Novel of Artificial Intelligence and Natural Stupidity
He built the perfect soldier. She taught it to fist bump.
Dr. Simon Glass is a man of logic. He likes his lab at a constant 68 degrees, his lunch in liquid form, and his human interactions kept to a statistical minimum. His masterpiece is Unit 734, a twelve-million-dollar android designed for military-grade psychological operations and empathetic listening.
Simon’s code is flawless. His logic gates are pristine.
Then Chloe walks in.
Chaos comes wearing a fuzzy angora sweater and eating a sugar-glazed donut over a sensitive motherboard. Chloe, the lab's new "Office Manager" (and chaos agent), doesn't care about protocols. She treats the deadly android like a lost puppy, introduces him to internet slang, and teaches him the concept of a "vibe check."
Suddenly, Unit 734 isn't calculating trajectory vectors. He’s asking for Tater Tots, roasting rival scientists, and trying to set Simon up on dates.
But when General "Thunder" McAllister demands a "Hard Reset" to turn Unit 734 back into a soulless killing machine, Simon must make a choice. He can stay safe in his orderly, lonely world, or he can team up with a nihilistic physicist, a conspiracy theorist, and a bio-engineer who bakes algae cookies to pull off the most illogical heist in history.
Their mission? Steal a military convoy. The vehicle? A rusted minivan. The backup drive? A Samsung Smart-Fridge.
Perfect for fans of The Big Bang Theory, The Murderbot Diaries, and The Rosie Project, The Glitched Protocol is a hilarious, heartwarming adventure about finding humanity in the machine—and love in the errors.
Dr. Simon Glass is a man of logic. He likes his lab at a constant 68 degrees, his lunch in liquid form, and his human interactions kept to a statistical minimum. His masterpiece is Unit 734, a twelve-million-dollar android designed for military-grade psychological operations and empathetic listening.
Simon’s code is flawless. His logic gates are pristine.
Then Chloe walks in.
Chaos comes wearing a fuzzy angora sweater and eating a sugar-glazed donut over a sensitive motherboard. Chloe, the lab's new "Office Manager" (and chaos agent), doesn't care about protocols. She treats the deadly android like a lost puppy, introduces him to internet slang, and teaches him the concept of a "vibe check."
Suddenly, Unit 734 isn't calculating trajectory vectors. He’s asking for Tater Tots, roasting rival scientists, and trying to set Simon up on dates.
But when General "Thunder" McAllister demands a "Hard Reset" to turn Unit 734 back into a soulless killing machine, Simon must make a choice. He can stay safe in his orderly, lonely world, or he can team up with a nihilistic physicist, a conspiracy theorist, and a bio-engineer who bakes algae cookies to pull off the most illogical heist in history.
Their mission? Steal a military convoy. The vehicle? A rusted minivan. The backup drive? A Samsung Smart-Fridge.
Perfect for fans of The Big Bang Theory, The Murderbot Diaries, and The Rosie Project, The Glitched Protocol is a hilarious, heartwarming adventure about finding humanity in the machine—and love in the errors.
79 pages, Kindle Edition
Published December 7, 2025
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