Ivy, Refusing to Hate: From State Ward to Survivor

by Eila Jameson-Avey, Ivy Getchell (Contributor)

In 1945, twelve-year-old Ivy Getchell was torn from her family and sent to Parramatta Girls Training School, labelled a victim of 'neglect and moral danger'. What followed was a relentless cycle of abuse, betrayal and loss -- from rare kindness at Thornleigh, where she discovered a love for the violin, to brutal foster placements and the heartbreak of losing her children.
Decades later, Ivy stood before the Forgotten Australians Inquiry and a Royal Commission to share her truth, breaking decades of silence and stigma.
In a world that sought to break her, Ivy refused to hate, holding onto dignity and love as her greatest acts of resistance.
Written by the winner of the 2024 Varuna Fellowship and the 2021 Lane Cove Literary Award, 'Ivy: Refusing to Hate' is a haunting, deeply moving story of hope -- proof that love can outlast even the darkest cruelty.

383 pages, Paperback

First published December 8, 2025

About the author

I write on the traditional lands of the Wiradjuri people of the Wiradjuri nation. I acknowledge the Traditional Custodians and storytellers of the lands on which I work and pay respects to Indigenous Elders and storytellers past, present, and emerging.

I had a fantastical existence as a young child, living a life that was make-believe. As I grew older, I realised that was unsustainable and so I wrote down my stories and made them into small books, with stapled spines. Over the past decade, I’ve returned to writing, completing several short courses including The Year of the Novel with Emily Maguire at Writing NSW. My love of education sent me back to school resulting in the completion of a Graduate Certificate in Writing and Literature at Deakin University. I’m happiest sharing the peace of the rural property I share with my husband and two Dalmatians with a few writing projects to work on.

Reviews

[Jack Peck · Rating 4 out of 5]

Here is a compelling tale. It starts with the deeply personal story of a young girl trapped in the “Parramatta School for Girls”. The institution’s name is a cruel irony of the inmate’s suffering at the hands of brutal matrons. Initially reminding me of Joni Mitchell’s song Magdalene Laundries, as Ivy’s life progresses there is ample evidence that this is no point-in-time telling, but an extended story of a life of unremitting pain in a systemically and deeply flawed system. Only at the end do we find two things: First, Ivy overcoming the brutality of her upbringing to find love and extended family, and Second, the overwhelming and too-late apology delivered by the Prime Minister in the Australian Parliament. I cannot adequately convey the emotion that overcame me when the words of that Apology rang out in the halls of the nation. The apology brought home to me the true depth of Ivy’s story, that it is exemplary of the half a million benighted victims of that evil system. I heartily recommend “Ivy Refusing to Hate”.

[Dee Selkirk · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading Ivy, Refusing to Hate was a heart wrenching experience. So many emotions, sadness for Ivy for the way she was treated as a young 10 year old at Parramatta Girls Training. Had I not known this was in the middle of the 20th century, I would have thought I was reading about a Dickensian Institution in the 19th century. The relentless treatment Ivy and other girls suffered was cruel and disgusting, I would even say evil. I felt such anger on her behalf. Somehow, Ivy managed to survive and refused to hate or lose her dignity. Her life was so difficult, a miserable marriage, the difficulties she faced trying to raise her children. Then finally she met a man who showed her great love and respect and her later years were her happiest. Then finally the apologies from the Government helped Ivy and others realise they had moved a government and a nation.
Beautifully written with such care and love. I am so glad I discovered this book.

[Margaret Brennan · Rating 4 out of 5]

While our world seems to be crumbling around us, "Ivy - Refusing to Hate" is full of hope, strength and positivity. The story is based on fact and is well researched. Ivy is an authentic character who carries a devastating family story. She is never defeated and emerges as a woman of great strength and resilience. This is a well written tribute to all those who suffered as Ivy did - with quiet dignity and self belief.

[Peter · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is a compelling story that will have readers disgusted with the law that enables this to happen, and in awe of Ivy’s strength.