If I Were You

by Helen Matthews

She needs your help. But the truth she is hiding could destroy you both.
A jaw-dropping thriller about two sisters that will keep you up all night

Tessa, a former career woman with long Covid and depression, lives a reclusive life in a London suburb. When her long estranged younger sister Maddie suddenly turns up with a baby, events spiral. Maddie claims she’s fled a controlling partner who is threatening to take the child. Overwhelmed at first, Tessa wants to help—both her sister and, by acting, herself.

But the situation grows murkier. Maddie speaks of a man named Zak, the baby’s father, who isolated and manipulated her. Her story has gaps and contradictions. Flashbacks and Maddie’s behavior plant doubts. Is she really just a victim? As Tessa gets pulled deeper into Maddie’s account, she begins to question her own reality.

Between old loyalty and new mistrust, the sisters’ relationship frays. When Maddie suddenly disappears and leaves the baby with Tessa, Tessa faces a Should she believe Maddie’s warnings? Or is she caught in a game she can’t control?

359 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 5, 2026

About the author

Delighted to announce that domestic suspense novel The Sisters is out soon from Bloodhound Books. They also recently republished my prize-winning suspense thriller Girl Out of Sight.

Lies Behind the Ruin, family noir set in France, is available from Amazon. A new edition of The Girl in the Van, winner of the Pageturner prize 2022 in the suspense and thriller category, will be out in January 2025.

I'm originally from Cardiff, studied English at Liverpool University and hold an MA in Creative Writing from Oxford Brookes. I've won prizes for flash fiction and short stories and been published in 'Artificium', Reflex Fiction, 1k story, ElipsisZine, Love Sunday, Scribble and in an eBook 'Garage 54 and other stories'.

Long ago in a galaxy far away (before I focused on fiction) I had some articles published in the Guardian, on the BBC and in lifestyle magazines. I love travelling and you can read about some quirky encounters and places on my blog. I'm an ambassador for the charity , Unseen that fights to end modern slavery.

Reviews

[Jennifer TW · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tessa is stuck at home for months on end suffering from long covid. Her lawyer husband Adam is supportive but keen to see Tessa try to get herself back to some level of normality. Both of her parents are deceased, and she is estranged from her only sister, Maddie after a drunken argument at their mothers funeral. Maddie has a habit of hooking up with men who are unreliable, and in turn, this makes Maddie unreliable and unpredictable.
One day there is a knock on the door and Maddie is outside with her 5 month old son Leon. Tessa is shocked and surprised to see how well her unreliable sister has adjusted to motherhood. But drama seems to follow Maddie once more when she tells Tessa that she is running away from another boyfriend, Zak, and needs to lie low. The next day she borrows money from Tessa to visit a solicitor, while Tessa minds baby Leon. When Maddie fails to return home, the alarm is raised.
What has happened to Maddie? Is she missing? Is she dead? And where is Zak? And can Tessa keep Leon safe?
Told from two POV’s this fantastic domestic thriller delivers on all fronts. A real page turner.
A brilliantly gripping read! Thanks to the author & publisher for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Janna (Bibliophile Mom) · Rating 3 out of 5]

If I Were You is a domestic thriller told through alternating perspectives of two sisters who grew up side‑by‑side but ended up living very different lives. It’s that familiar dynamic where one seems to thrive while the other is left trying to catch up. The way their own father constantly compared them adds a layer of hurt that really shapes who they become.

The story touches on some heavy themes like surrogacy, cheating, murder, and even a glimpse into dementia. I appreciated how these elements were put together to form a painful yet touching narrative about redemption and second chances. The pacing starts off slow, but it eventually finds its rhythm. It wasn’t everything I hoped for, but I still found myself invested in Tessa and Maddie’s messy and complicated lives.

What I Enjoyed:
• Newfound family and friendship
• A child who becomes the emotional glue of the story
• The way dementia was incorporated into the narrative

What Didn't Work Out:
• Slow start
• Not as thriller‑heavy as expected
• Surrogacy handled in a way that could have been more sensitive

Rating Breakdown
* Setting: 3⭐️
* Characters: 3⭐️
* Writing: 3⭐️
* Message: 4⭐️
* Overall: 3⭐️

In summary, this was a solid read with a promising premise and an emotional core. I enjoyed it, even though I found myself wishing for a bit more depth in certain areas. Still, it’s a great pick for readers who enjoy crime‑leaning domestic thrillers with layered relationships and real emotional stakes.

Huge thanks to NetGalley, DP Books, and author Helen Matthews for my copy. My thoughts are entirely my own.

~ JaNnA ~

[Sandra Flaishmakher · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you, DP publishing for providing me with this ARC for review.

This domestic thriller was overall an enjoyable read, though very slow in the first half and a bit difficult to get through. The pace started picking up at around 60% and it was then more engaging. I struggle in general with books that focus on sisters' bond and relationship, so it was quite mentally tasking for me. It was hard at times to find empathy towards Maddie.

I enjoyed the double POV and the character development. The plot itself could have been more exciting but the deep dive into the psychology and relationship between the sisters was more of the focus.

3.5 syringes on my scale.

[Leslie Bell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thanks to Digital Publishers for the advance copy

This book kept me hooked right from the start. Told from the POVs of two sisters; one recovering from a drawn out illness and one who had been out of contact for years, but suddenly turned up on the doorstep with a baby.
The writing was fast paced, the twists kept coming, and I found the story captivating. I would absolutely read more from this author

[Sandra Tauden · Rating 2 out of 5]

More than half of the book was painfully boring. Towards the end, a few things finally started to happen, but even then it was written in a slow and dragging way. There wasn’t a single truly engaging or surprising moment.

[Joanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a gripping psychological thriller that blends suspense with a deeply emotional exploration of family, trust, and vulnerability.

The story centres on Tessa, a former high-flyer now living a quiet, isolated life due to long Covid and depression. When her estranged sister Maddie unexpectedly arrives on her doorstep with a baby and a frightening story about fleeing a controlling partner, the novel immediately hooks you. There’s an urgency to the premise that pulls you in, but what keeps you turning the pages is the growing sense that something isn’t quite right.
Maddie is an especially compelling and complex character. Her account of Zak is disturbing, yet riddled with inconsistencies, and the narrative cleverly plants seeds of doubt through flashbacks and subtle behavioural cues. As a reader, you’re constantly questioning her reliability—unsure whether she is a victim, a manipulator, or something in between. That ambiguity is where the book truly shines.

Tessa’s perspective adds another layer of tension. Her fragile mental and physical state makes her both sympathetic and, at times, frustrating, as she struggles to balance instinct, loyalty, and fear. Watching her question her own judgment as the situation escalates adds a psychological depth that elevates the story beyond a straightforward thriller.

The pacing is strong overall, though it slows slightly in the middle as the focus shifts more towards introspection and character development. However, this ultimately pays off, as it deepens the emotional stakes and makes the later twists more impactful. And when those twists come, they are satisfying—clever without being over-the-top, and leaving just enough uncertainty to linger after the final page.

At its core, this is a story about the complicated bonds between sisters, and how easily trust can be manipulated when emotions run deep. Tense, layered, and thought-provoking, If I Were You is a compelling read that will keep you guessing until the end.

[Leanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

If I Were You is a taut, intimate thriller that thrives on the uneasy space between sisterly loyalty and the creeping suspicion that someone you love is pulling you under. Tessa, still reeling from long Covid and the depression that has reshaped her life, is already fragile when Maddie turns up on her doorstep with a baby and a story that doesn’t quite hold together. What begins as a reunion edged with hope quickly becomes something far murkier, and the novel captures that shift with a beautifully slow, unsettling precision.

There’s a quiet claustrophobia to Tessa’s world — the suburban stillness, the isolation of her illness, the way Maddie’s presence both comforts and destabilises her. As Maddie’s account of Zak, the controlling partner she claims to have fled, grows more tangled, the tension tightens. Flashbacks flicker like half‑remembered dreams, and Tessa’s instinct to protect her sister begins to clash with the dawning fear that she’s being drawn into something she can’t see clearly. The line between truth and manipulation blurs in a way that feels painfully real.

What makes the story so compelling is how deeply human it is. Tessa’s vulnerability isn’t a plot device — it’s the emotional core of the novel. Her longing for connection, her guilt, her need to believe Maddie even when the facts don’t quite fit, all make her an achingly sympathetic narrator. So when Maddie disappears and leaves the baby behind, the stakes shift again, and Tessa is forced into a choice that feels as dangerous as it is inevitable.

A gripping, atmospheric exploration of trust, trauma, and the stories we tell to survive, If I Were You keeps its tension simmering right to the final page.

With thanks to Helen Matthews, the publisher and netgalley for the ARC

[Timoteo Stéphanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Écrit à la première personne, ce thriller psychologique nous plonge au cœur d’une relation familiale troublée. Tout commence lorsque Maddie réapparaît soudainement chez sa sœur Tessa, après plusieurs années de silence… avec un bébé dans les bras. Une arrivée inattendue qui soulève immédiatement de nombreuses interrogations.

Le roman aborde avec justesse les mécanismes insidieux de l’emprise, notamment dans les relations amoureuses. À travers le passé de Maddie, l’autrice explore ces dynamiques toxiques qui s’installent progressivement, souvent de manière imperceptible.

Lorsque Maddie disparaît à nouveau, sans laisser de trace, la vie de Tessa bascule. Fragilisée par sa santé et confrontée à la responsabilité d’un nourrisson, elle se retrouve dans une situation aussi complexe qu’angoissante.

L’alternance des points de vue entre les deux sœurs maintient l’intérêt et nourrit le suspense. On cherche à comprendre, à reconstituer les faits, et surtout à savoir ce qu’il est réellement arrivé à Maddie. L’autrice joue habilement avec les perceptions, brouillant les pistes et semant le doute : à qui peut-on vraiment se fier ? 🤔

Certains traits de caractère, notamment les variations d’humeur très marquées d’un personnage, m’ont parfois semblé un peu appuyés — volontairement déstabilisants, sans doute, mais parfois à la limite de la caricature.

Si l’ensemble se lit facilement et reste prenant, le dernier quart du roman m’a paru plus excessif, avec des rebondissements un peu trop poussés à mon goût, ce qui a légèrement atténué mon enthousiasme.

Cela reste néanmoins une lecture intéressante, portée par des thématiques fortes et actuelles.

[Jen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a good read. It centers on Tessa, whose sister Maddie shows up out of the blue after 3 years of no contact, with a baby and telling a story about how her partner is a bad man. Maddie has been unreliable in the past, and when things quickly don't seem to add up, Tessa and her husband are skeptical. Tessa has been off work with a long illness for almost a year, ,and needs to gain the energy to figure out more about what is really going on. The first part of the book is told from Tessa's POV, the 2nd from Maddie's, and the last part alternating between the 2,

I liked the style of narration, where the POVs switched and the reader got to see multiple sides of the story. The mystery was sound, and just when a revelation would occur for you to figure it all out, you'd realize that it wasn't really that simple. I liked all the primary characters, including the elderly man named Stanley who Maddie was helping out, and felt that they behaved (for the most part) like actual people would. The relationships between the characters were complex and messy, but real life is like that and I thought the author did it well. The ending came as a bit of a surprise, but I thought all the loose ends were tied up nicely and that it worked with the rest of the book.

Overall, I thought this was an engaging read that had both believable dynamics and good suspense. Thanks to Netgalley for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Eva · Rating 5 out of 5]

If I Were You by Helen Matthews is a gripping and suspenseful novel that explores family, secrets, and the complicated bonds between sisters. The story begins when Tess is unexpectedly reunited with her estranged sister, Maddie, who reappears after three years of silence with her young son, Leon, asking for help. From this intriguing premise, the novel slowly unfolds into a tense and emotionally charged narrative.

One of the standout aspects of the book is its dual perspective. Told from both Tess’s and Maddie’s points of view, the story allows readers to gradually piece together what has happened in Maddie’s life during her absence. This structure adds depth and keeps the reader engaged, as each chapter reveals new layers of truth and uncertainty.

The pacing starts off quite slow, but this works well to build atmosphere and curiosity. As the story progresses, the suspense intensifies significantly, with the plot becoming increasingly gripping. The steady unveiling of secrets and the well-executed twists and turns make it difficult to put the book down.

While the ending may not have been exactly what I had hoped for, it still felt fitting within the context of the story. Overall, If I Were You is a compelling and suspenseful read that keeps you guessing until the very end, making it a highly satisfying experience.

[Deana · Rating 1 out of 5]

This ended up being a big disappointment for me. The first half of the book was so slow that I was getting discouraged and debated not finishing. When Stanley entered the scene, it became better, and honestly, he was the best part of the whole thing in my opinion.

I know we are supposed to have sympathy for Maddie, but I cannot stand when characters are written to be martyrish. Whining as an adult how her sister, Tessa, was "perfect" was grating. Any grown up knows that nobody is perfect and shouldn't still be simpering about what their parents thought of their siblings, especially when they were younger. Furhtermore, Maddie ticked me off crying victim when she put herself in SEVERAL bad situations and then didn't really want to take responsibility for that either. She just continued with her woe is me act. There is a flash of hope at the end that she may end up stepping up and taking responsiblity for her life, but it ended so the reader didn't get to find out.

I kept waiting for a twist, but it didn't show up. As always, this is just my opinion and I hope the author does well with the book.

[Mary Polzella · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tessa is a former career woman with long Covid and depression. Her long estranged younger sister turns up with a baby, claiming she’s fled a controlling partner who is threatening to take the child. Overwhelmed at first, Tessa wants to help. Maddie tells Tessa that Zak, the baby’s father, isolated and manipulated her but her story has gaps and contradictions and Maddie’s behavior plant doubts. When Maddie suddenly disappears leaving the baby with Tessa, she starts to suspect that Maddie may have been speaking the truth all along.

A domestic thriller about two estranged and very different sisters who reconnect when the younger sister turns up unexpectedly with her five month old son. The narrative is well paced and the tension slowly builds over the course of the story to its twist and conclusion. This is a slow burn thriller that keeps you on edge and feeling a sense of disquiet about what is really going on. I will definitely be interested in reading more by this author! ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Thank you @digitalpublishers for the opportunity to read and review this book.

[Maria J Castro · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just finished this book, and I have to say it really kept me hooked.

From the very beginning, the story pulls you into a mystery that slowly unfolds through the police investigation. The author reveals pieces of the puzzle little by little, constantly making you question what really happened and who can actually be trusted.

Without giving any spoilers, this is definitely one of those books that makes you keep turning the pages because you feel like you’re always just one step away from discovering the truth.

The tension is very well built, and each new revelation adds another layer to the story. I especially enjoyed how the investigation gradually exposes different perspectives and hidden secrets.

Overall, I found it to be a very engaging thriller with a gripping pace. It’s the kind of book where you tell yourself “just one more chapter”… and suddenly you’ve read five.

If you enjoy psychological thrillers full of mystery and twists, this one is definitely worth picking up.

[Ivona · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book pulled me in with the promise of family drama and secrets, but what kept me turning the pages was the tension between the two sisters. Every conversation felt loaded. Every decision felt as if it were hiding something darker beneath the surface.

Tessa was such an interesting main character because she’s already emotionally fragile when Maddie suddenly arrives with a baby and a terrifying story. You want to believe Maddie. You want Tessa to protect her. But the deeper the story goes, the more uneasy everything becomes. I loved how Helen Matthews constantly made me question who was telling the truth and who was manipulating whom.

The strongest part of this book for me was the atmosphere. There’s this heavy feeling hanging over every chapter. Isolation, guilt, trauma, control. It all builds slowly until the story becomes impossible to put down. The relationship dynamic felt messy in a very believable way, especially between the sisters. Nothing was simple, and nobody felt completely innocent.

I also really appreciated how the story explored long Covid, depression, and emotional vulnerability without losing the thriller edge. It added another layer to Tessa’s character and made her feel real instead of just another thriller protagonist making reckless choices for plot convenience.

The reason this landed at 4 stars instead of 5 for me is that the pacing dipped slightly in the middle, and I guessed one of the twists earlier than I wanted to. But even then, the emotional tension and the final unravelling still hit hard.

If you love domestic thrillers filled with unreliable characters, family secrets, manipulation, and that constant “something is very wrong here” feeling, this one is absolutely worth picking up.

[Farah G · Rating 4 out of 5]

Already struggling with health issues, the last thing that Tessa expects is to have her younger sister Maddie - whom she has not seen for years - show up on her door step with a complicated story about a dangerous ex-boyfriend and a baby she had no idea her sister had.

But as if that weren't bad enough, Tessa then finds herself quite literally left holding the baby when Maddie disappears as suddenly as she had arrived...

The ties that bind can sometimes end up leaving us trapped in knots. So, what should the already besieged Tessa do in this unanticipated situation?

This is an entertaining story about sisterhood, secrets, and the stories we tell ourselves and each other about who we are.

I received a free copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review

[GG · Rating 4 out of 5]

An emotional and gripping psychological thriller, although slightly less thriller moments. This story covers the physical and mental struggles of sensitive topics such as illnesses, in a pretty realistic and a respectful way. It was mostly fast paced, with a few twists throughout and a pretty big twist that I hadn’t fully worked out so did take me by surprise. The second half had more of the thrill moments, but I felt these could’ve been developed more. I had mixed feelings for most of the characters, I had suspicions of each but generally liked everyone, except I didn’t feel sympathy for Maddie. Overall I really enjoyed the journey and it was a page turner for me.

[Ivy Ngeow · Rating 5 out of 5]

A compelling, well-paced psychological thriller that explores identity, grief, and the fragile boundaries between truth and deception. Matthews builds steady tension between the sisters Tessa and Maddie while Tessa "babysits" a beautiful baby boy Leon (Maddie's son) for a prolonged period. The story is grounded in great characters, believable emotion and moral complexity. I was drawn into both stories from the POVs of the sisters, and the dilemma each face after Maddie goes missing and Tessa has to find out why. A clever and absorbing read.

[Sue · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well paced novel, with lots of twists, secrets and lies.
I know Tessa was not well, but surely she could have asked questions? Her sister obviously didn't give her the whole story, there were gaps in her story.
Maddie had a lot of resentment towards Tessa, not only from adulthood, but from her childhood as well.
Grudges held for far too long can poison a relationship with a family member, but then the first person Maddie ran to was Tessa?
Anyway, I did enjoy the book. It is emotional, dark in places, suspenseful and tragic as well.

3/5 stars from me.

[monsieur dory · Rating 2 out of 5]

L’idée de base est bonne et l’ambiance fonctionne, mais je n’ai pas été totalement convaincu. Les rebondissements manquent d’impact et de surprise pour moi, et certains événements n’ont pas eu l’effet attendu.

J’ai aussi été gênée par la traduction, avec par moments des lettres ajoutées entre certains mots, ce qui cassait la fluidité. La lecture était par moment répétitive, et le point de vue de Tessa m’a moins captivée que celui de Maddie, que j’ai largement préféré suivre.

Au final, une lecture qui se laisse lire, mais qui ne m’a pas vraiment marquée.

[Beth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rating: ★★★★½
If I Were You had me hooked, mostly because I wanted to see just how messy these sisters could get before someone (probably me) needed therapy. Twists hit like family secrets you definitely didn’t need to know. Gripping, sarcastic, and emotionally addictive, basically my life belonged to this book the past few days.

[Maja · Rating 4 out of 5]

Before we start, thank you Netgalley and also dp books for this ARC!

I think it was an interesting book and I did enjoy reading it. My only point of criticism would be that it was... well, a little less of a thriller than I would have been hoping for. But it was still eerie, and suspenseful, and the pace picks up after being a little slow in the beginning. A decent story I can still recommend!

[Louise Rowlett · Rating 3 out of 5]

If i were you

I finally managed to get through this book, it started out great, a story i could believe, characters i could love and hate but then it dragged on, i got a bit bored with it, then the ending was over and done with to quickly.
I was hoping this book was going to be amazing as it started so well but i was disappointed.

[Mike Shockley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Stunned. This story was great, my first read of Helen Matthews and looking forward to others. The story moves along quickly with short chapters that keep you wanting to know what's next. A variety of characters and personalities create a plot with a satisfying ending. Worth a read!

[Jane Sleight · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another page turner from Helen Matthews

This is one of those books that'll have you going to sleep late as you read just one more chapter. A breathless pace as the shocks and surprises are delivered thick and fast. So nice to enjoy a book you can't put down.

[K H · Rating 5 out of 5]

Expect the unexpected

A great page turner with twists and turns from beginning to end.This well paced psychological thriller doesn’t disappoint.

[Mrs Ann Bannan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent

Loved the book. Great characters. Great storyline and couldn't put it down. I will be ordering more of Helen's books.

[Julie Grimshaw]

I enjoyed this book , an easy read .

[book_thimble · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you @digitalpublishers for sending me this ARC in return for an honest review. It was so good! Reminded me a bit of Claire MacKintosh novels, twisty, turny and a little bit unexpected! Due out tomorrow! (5 Feb)
The story follows two sisters, Tessa and Maddie thrown together after years apart. Expect surprises, suspense, elements of coercive control, lies, deceit and unexpected bravery!