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A Full Quiver : Family Planning and the Lordship of Christ
How many children are too many? How many are enough? How far should you space them out? When should you call it quits? How can you afford more children? What does the Bible say about the issues of birth control and family planning? In answering these and many other relevant questions, Rick and Jan Hess use a common sense approach, lots of humor and lots of Scripture to show God's control of conception and His amazing plans for your children.
236 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1990
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
July 2, 2012
Thorough and biblical, highly recommend!
November 10, 2016
I read this book extensively, bought copies for friends ... but not any more.
Great that a high value is placed on children and the validity of having children.
But to assume authorative undertanding of 'the Lordship of Christ' and 'What does the Bible say about the issues of birth control and family planning?' is just way too presumptious and nauseating for progressives and ex-fundies like myself.
The foreword by Mary Pride should inform potential readers of the highly legalist-conservative stance of the authors.
At best, be selective 'Eat the meat, spit out the bones.' If in doubt, leave it, lots of guilt-inducing reading within.
Great that a high value is placed on children and the validity of having children.
But to assume authorative undertanding of 'the Lordship of Christ' and 'What does the Bible say about the issues of birth control and family planning?' is just way too presumptious and nauseating for progressives and ex-fundies like myself.
The foreword by Mary Pride should inform potential readers of the highly legalist-conservative stance of the authors.
At best, be selective 'Eat the meat, spit out the bones.' If in doubt, leave it, lots of guilt-inducing reading within.
July 28, 2025
3.5 ⭐️
I appreciated all of the great graphs and history of birth control and even just the mentality toward having children. That was probably the most highly recommended part of the book.
The Biblical aspects, while sound in most places, were repeated throughout the book, which was redundant.
I liked the Q+A section, since those held most of the answers to things I have pondered; but I found this to be a very repetitive vibe … explaining things as a “matter-of-principle”, when in fact, it may greatly be dependent upon individuals, and their heart on the matter.
If someone’s heart is to be selfish and desire to be done with children so they can live their own life and do their own thing; it goes very much against what the Bible says about having children. But this also goes for people who begrudgingly state how they can’t wait for the kids to “go back to school” because they are an “annoyance” to their parent. That is a parent issue, not a child issue.
But there is a balance, because I don’t think it wise physically for women to continuously be pregnant or nursing. It can take up to 3 years to fully restore nutrient stores after creating a human and being their main nutrient source!
Overall, a unique read. I don’t think I would necessarily recommend this to anyone. Nancy Campbells book was more thorough and organized.
I appreciated all of the great graphs and history of birth control and even just the mentality toward having children. That was probably the most highly recommended part of the book.
The Biblical aspects, while sound in most places, were repeated throughout the book, which was redundant.
I liked the Q+A section, since those held most of the answers to things I have pondered; but I found this to be a very repetitive vibe … explaining things as a “matter-of-principle”, when in fact, it may greatly be dependent upon individuals, and their heart on the matter.
If someone’s heart is to be selfish and desire to be done with children so they can live their own life and do their own thing; it goes very much against what the Bible says about having children. But this also goes for people who begrudgingly state how they can’t wait for the kids to “go back to school” because they are an “annoyance” to their parent. That is a parent issue, not a child issue.
But there is a balance, because I don’t think it wise physically for women to continuously be pregnant or nursing. It can take up to 3 years to fully restore nutrient stores after creating a human and being their main nutrient source!
Overall, a unique read. I don’t think I would necessarily recommend this to anyone. Nancy Campbells book was more thorough and organized.
July 3, 2023
Thoroughly disturbing. Advises that the husband’s opinion overrules his wife and her doctor when it comes to medical issues involving pregnancy risk. Biblicist prosperity teaching with warped theology.
July 4, 2023
IS EVERY CONCEPTION CAUSED DIRECTLY BY GOD?
Authors Rick and Jan Hess wrote in the Introduction to this 1990 book, “In the past five years we have studied and meditated on God’s Word and feel now that to at least a small degree we comprehend His plan for marriage and the church more clearly than we did when we were first married. We would like to present to you the path over which God has led us and the conclusions we live by today… we are just your average midwestern couple… with eight children… Yes, praise God---eight … children in our quiver. You see, God showed us something new about children… He showed us that children ARE a blessing once we learned WHY children are a blessing and HOW to benefit from that blessing… He also showed us that it’s not whether your family ends up large or small that makes the difference, but whether you know what the blessing is and how to find it… We long to share this joy and the other special blessings we’ll be talking about in this book with you.” (Pg. 2-3)
Later, they add, “We believe that at you read this book, you will become more aware of the high value God places on children. You will also become more sensitive to the great gulf between the Bible’s teaching about children and our own culture’s attitude. You will learn how the church can recover a truly welcoming attitude towards children---and the huge difference this can make in our effectiveness in this world.” (Pg. 9-10)
They explain, “1 Samuel 1:6 … says, ‘…the Lord had closed her womb.’ God did not say that Hannah was barren because she had a tipped uterus, blocked Fallopian tubes, endometriosis, or irregular periods. Th e Great Physician proclaims quite matter-of-factly His diagnosis of the cause of the barrenness. He had closed her womb; i.e., He was not giving conception… her ‘barrenness’ was only temporary, God waiting for the perfect time to cause conception.” (Pg. 19)
They state, “All these Scriptural examples prove that God controls the process of fertilization; that you and I are NOT products of probability, but of His ability. God has ordained the specific starting point of every life ever lived, including any future children He might give us or you… GOD opens and closes the womb! He alone decides when and if anyone will have any (more) children. And not only does He decide, He then makes it happen. We know, based on the Scriptural evidence, that if we have any more children, it will be His choosing and doing!” (Pg.
21-23)
They report, “The ultimate proof that we Americans don’t really like kids is evidenced by … [the number 1.8, which is] how many (or few) kids the average U.S. family has---not even enough to replace us. Yuppies have given away to DINKS (Dual Income, No Kids)… the world thinks kids are too much trouble, and now many Christians are agreeing. For example, in our survey… several married Christian respondents said that their ideal number of children was less than what they had.” (Pg. 27-28) They point out, “many of history’s ‘greats’ have either been born ‘down the line’ or have been part of families whose sizes make many modern families pale in comparison…” (Pg. 57)
They summarize, “First… the church may not be as pro-children as we would like to think it is. Second… conception is not governed by probability. Each conception is caused directly by God; no woman can become pregnant unless God wants her to. Third… God values His gift of children extremely highly. Fourth… many famous people came from large families… faith---the courage to follow God in spite of apparent obstacles---is absolutely necessary if we want to please Him, and … that relates specifically to having children.” (Pg. 69)
They assert, “The conclusion, ladies, is that your calling in life is to be a helpmate for the man God has given to you. Helping your husband is your life work and the prime focus of your earthly ministry. The home is the Christian wife’s domain…. It is your ‘career’ … it is your center of ministry… The working world tells you that its ‘fulfilling’ opportunities like typing, filing, data entry, stuffing bottles in an assembly line, or soldering widgets in a factory are more satisfying than God’s gift of actual lives to shape and mold and free time… in which to do it. What a sad lie…” (Pg. 88-89)
They argue, “In actual practice, Christians using natural family planning often start out using it as birth control and then, as they loosen up start having more children on purpose. We guess this might be because NFP both costs more than ‘normal’ birth control (in terms of a straightjacketed physical relationship) and because it makes the connection between sex and reproduction much clearer than any other form of contraception… The real truth about NFP… is that it … may be an accurate gauge of the heart. We are not too thrilled about trusting God to accomplish what is best for us---we still feel that He needs our help… NFP is simple needless tinkering with a system He already controls…” (Pg. 94)
They state, “God Himself is all the birth control we need. If He gives us children He will also give us time for them. May I repeat that? If God chooses to give us children He will also give us the time for them! We need only to be open and sensitive to His leading.” (Pg. 158)
They observe, “A poll taken a few years ago announced to the astonishment of many that approximately one out of three Americans surveyed claimed to be ‘born again.’ … Not to be negative, but 85 million believers in America? When the results of the poll were published, it was mentioned that people from different cults called themselves ‘born again.’ Also, multitudes who were baptized as babies responded that they were born again also… Let’s whittle the number down, at least to 25 million active Christians… That is only ten percent of our whole country. With that number as a starting place, here we are, marching into the 1990s, 25 million redeemed and 225 million not---quite a gap! If the Christian birthrate matches that of secular society, every year the numerical gap between believers and unbelievers will increase. Every year our influence will dwindle more and more, and the nation’s ethics and morality will plummet even faster.” (Pg. 167)
They acknowledge, “mothers of all ages have babies with birth defects. Surely we cannot blame God for this, can we? Explore two alternatives: *Statistics---maybe probability … makes randomized evil choices in genetics. *The introduction of system-damaging factors… the use of drugs, alcohol, and smoking during pregnancy … may be detrimental to the developing infant. But doesn’t that … putu chance back at the wheel and God in the back seat?... Not at all… God is still the Divider of cells and Former of organs. If contaminants are introduced into the immediate environment of a little life, there are no ill effects unless God allows them. He may and at times obviously does allow them… Is God therefore responsible for birth defects? A valid question… Could Psalm 139 apply to dysfunctional livers, three-chambered hearts, and minds with only half the capacity to learn?... Jan and must share our testimony here… each of our eight [children] has a serious birth defect… The defect afflicting every one of our children and … our entire family is the sin nature. We do not speak facetiously. Claiming that Down’s Syndrome is even remotely as tragic as a child’s innate sinfulness is not being realistic. Down’s Syndrome does not cause lying… we must deal with one great realization: He does, indeed, knowingly and willingly being forth spiritually crippled children. Every baby born… has the greatest and most tragic birth defect imaginable…” (Pg 193-196)
Some of this book’s conclusions will be controversial even among Christians who are opposed to birth control. Nevertheless, it is a clear statement of the authors’ positions.
Authors Rick and Jan Hess wrote in the Introduction to this 1990 book, “In the past five years we have studied and meditated on God’s Word and feel now that to at least a small degree we comprehend His plan for marriage and the church more clearly than we did when we were first married. We would like to present to you the path over which God has led us and the conclusions we live by today… we are just your average midwestern couple… with eight children… Yes, praise God---eight … children in our quiver. You see, God showed us something new about children… He showed us that children ARE a blessing once we learned WHY children are a blessing and HOW to benefit from that blessing… He also showed us that it’s not whether your family ends up large or small that makes the difference, but whether you know what the blessing is and how to find it… We long to share this joy and the other special blessings we’ll be talking about in this book with you.” (Pg. 2-3)
Later, they add, “We believe that at you read this book, you will become more aware of the high value God places on children. You will also become more sensitive to the great gulf between the Bible’s teaching about children and our own culture’s attitude. You will learn how the church can recover a truly welcoming attitude towards children---and the huge difference this can make in our effectiveness in this world.” (Pg. 9-10)
They explain, “1 Samuel 1:6 … says, ‘…the Lord had closed her womb.’ God did not say that Hannah was barren because she had a tipped uterus, blocked Fallopian tubes, endometriosis, or irregular periods. Th e Great Physician proclaims quite matter-of-factly His diagnosis of the cause of the barrenness. He had closed her womb; i.e., He was not giving conception… her ‘barrenness’ was only temporary, God waiting for the perfect time to cause conception.” (Pg. 19)
They state, “All these Scriptural examples prove that God controls the process of fertilization; that you and I are NOT products of probability, but of His ability. God has ordained the specific starting point of every life ever lived, including any future children He might give us or you… GOD opens and closes the womb! He alone decides when and if anyone will have any (more) children. And not only does He decide, He then makes it happen. We know, based on the Scriptural evidence, that if we have any more children, it will be His choosing and doing!” (Pg.
21-23)
They report, “The ultimate proof that we Americans don’t really like kids is evidenced by … [the number 1.8, which is] how many (or few) kids the average U.S. family has---not even enough to replace us. Yuppies have given away to DINKS (Dual Income, No Kids)… the world thinks kids are too much trouble, and now many Christians are agreeing. For example, in our survey… several married Christian respondents said that their ideal number of children was less than what they had.” (Pg. 27-28) They point out, “many of history’s ‘greats’ have either been born ‘down the line’ or have been part of families whose sizes make many modern families pale in comparison…” (Pg. 57)
They summarize, “First… the church may not be as pro-children as we would like to think it is. Second… conception is not governed by probability. Each conception is caused directly by God; no woman can become pregnant unless God wants her to. Third… God values His gift of children extremely highly. Fourth… many famous people came from large families… faith---the courage to follow God in spite of apparent obstacles---is absolutely necessary if we want to please Him, and … that relates specifically to having children.” (Pg. 69)
They assert, “The conclusion, ladies, is that your calling in life is to be a helpmate for the man God has given to you. Helping your husband is your life work and the prime focus of your earthly ministry. The home is the Christian wife’s domain…. It is your ‘career’ … it is your center of ministry… The working world tells you that its ‘fulfilling’ opportunities like typing, filing, data entry, stuffing bottles in an assembly line, or soldering widgets in a factory are more satisfying than God’s gift of actual lives to shape and mold and free time… in which to do it. What a sad lie…” (Pg. 88-89)
They argue, “In actual practice, Christians using natural family planning often start out using it as birth control and then, as they loosen up start having more children on purpose. We guess this might be because NFP both costs more than ‘normal’ birth control (in terms of a straightjacketed physical relationship) and because it makes the connection between sex and reproduction much clearer than any other form of contraception… The real truth about NFP… is that it … may be an accurate gauge of the heart. We are not too thrilled about trusting God to accomplish what is best for us---we still feel that He needs our help… NFP is simple needless tinkering with a system He already controls…” (Pg. 94)
They state, “God Himself is all the birth control we need. If He gives us children He will also give us time for them. May I repeat that? If God chooses to give us children He will also give us the time for them! We need only to be open and sensitive to His leading.” (Pg. 158)
They observe, “A poll taken a few years ago announced to the astonishment of many that approximately one out of three Americans surveyed claimed to be ‘born again.’ … Not to be negative, but 85 million believers in America? When the results of the poll were published, it was mentioned that people from different cults called themselves ‘born again.’ Also, multitudes who were baptized as babies responded that they were born again also… Let’s whittle the number down, at least to 25 million active Christians… That is only ten percent of our whole country. With that number as a starting place, here we are, marching into the 1990s, 25 million redeemed and 225 million not---quite a gap! If the Christian birthrate matches that of secular society, every year the numerical gap between believers and unbelievers will increase. Every year our influence will dwindle more and more, and the nation’s ethics and morality will plummet even faster.” (Pg. 167)
They acknowledge, “mothers of all ages have babies with birth defects. Surely we cannot blame God for this, can we? Explore two alternatives: *Statistics---maybe probability … makes randomized evil choices in genetics. *The introduction of system-damaging factors… the use of drugs, alcohol, and smoking during pregnancy … may be detrimental to the developing infant. But doesn’t that … putu chance back at the wheel and God in the back seat?... Not at all… God is still the Divider of cells and Former of organs. If contaminants are introduced into the immediate environment of a little life, there are no ill effects unless God allows them. He may and at times obviously does allow them… Is God therefore responsible for birth defects? A valid question… Could Psalm 139 apply to dysfunctional livers, three-chambered hearts, and minds with only half the capacity to learn?... Jan and must share our testimony here… each of our eight [children] has a serious birth defect… The defect afflicting every one of our children and … our entire family is the sin nature. We do not speak facetiously. Claiming that Down’s Syndrome is even remotely as tragic as a child’s innate sinfulness is not being realistic. Down’s Syndrome does not cause lying… we must deal with one great realization: He does, indeed, knowingly and willingly being forth spiritually crippled children. Every baby born… has the greatest and most tragic birth defect imaginable…” (Pg 193-196)
Some of this book’s conclusions will be controversial even among Christians who are opposed to birth control. Nevertheless, it is a clear statement of the authors’ positions.
December 7, 2021
Solidly Biblical. Gave this a 4 only because population data needs updated. Our society isn't just pro-abortion, we are Anti-child. We reject children before they're even conceived & belittle those who chose to have more than 2.1 babies. To be clear, the authors do NOT suggest trying to have the "most kids". They support allowing God to plan your family size. God has been in the "family planning" business for thousands of years. Who am I to think I can do it better? This book was liberating. It freed us from the need to keep up with the "Joneses". It also freed me as a mom to put my family first, before the pressures the world (& the Joneses) places on me. I didn't lose anything when we chose to let God plan our family size. Instead we were blessed in ways we could never imagine. God expanded our opportunities & income to meet our needs all while making it possible for me to be a mom at home. Don't summarily dismiss this book. Give God a chance to open your heart, even just a little bit. You will be blessed!
March 6, 2020
This is an excellent book and makes a solid case for the Lordship of Christ in all areas of our lives, even when it comes to family planning/fertility. It is a thoroughly enjoyable read. With wit, humor, and real life stories they argue their point well: God desires for us to trust him with our fertility (or lack thereof). Believing the bible to be the infallible word of God they defend their standpoint from scripture. This book is not judgemental in the least, convicting, yes, but their heart for people to live a life close to God shines through.
Coming from a Christian family of nine myself (and praying that God gives me the grace to accept whatever he has for me, be it zero to twenty-five), these principles and points were not new to me, but they were worth the time to read the book and be encouraged (and be able to now recommend the book to my friends). I encourage all Christians to read this book.
Coming from a Christian family of nine myself (and praying that God gives me the grace to accept whatever he has for me, be it zero to twenty-five), these principles and points were not new to me, but they were worth the time to read the book and be encouraged (and be able to now recommend the book to my friends). I encourage all Christians to read this book.
September 21, 2015
A book about faith for the family!
July 15, 2022
This has some really helpful points to discuss with your spouse on trusting God with your family size. However, it’s incredibly outdated and the author is very narrow minded and sometimes quite rude. There is not much grace here, but I think it’s certainly got some wonderful points. The chapters are well laid out so you can pick and choose what you might be interested in reading.
September 25, 2024
Good book on an important topic. In need of an update statistically (most are from the 80s!)
December 2, 2019
I read this quite a while ago and it's taken me some time to sort out what I want to say about it.
Bear in mind it is written by fundamentalist Christians for fundamentalist Christians, and I am not a fundamentalist, but I knew several growing up.
Pros:
Much of the book is dedicated to how children are a blessing and not a burden, which is a good mindset to have.
Cons:
Everything else.
I have two main issues:
First, woven into the parts about how children are a blessing, there is something about the ways that they are said to be a blessing that rubs me the wrong way. Like children are numbers, not individual humans, and you're trying to get a high score. There's a part (maybe several parts?) which says that it's good to have as many kids as possible so that they can grow up to vote and get involved in politics to right America's perceived ills. It's atrocious to have kids for political reasons. Who are you trying to out-breed? Who's to say they won't join the opposing political party? It's also said that your kids will take care of you in your old age. Based on how many people I know who never visit their parents/grandparents, I judge it to be a unreliable retirement plan.
Overall, there was a presupposition that if you parented right, your kids would turn out exactly how you want them. My question is, if he had a kid that turned out to be the opposite of his narrow definition of "good", would the author still consider them a blessing?
Secondly, it's very dismissive of some very legitimate concerns. Doctor recommends you don't have another child? Trust God! Can't afford to feed all of them? Trust God! Everyone you know and love tells you to stop because you're viewing children as stats and not people? Trust God!
Couples with fertility issues were mentioned in one sentence out of the entire book. Women who decide not to have children due to major health problems (such as heritable disorders or life-threatening pregnancy complications) are not mentioned at all. Based off the rest of the book, I'd assume the author would tell them to trust God and have kids anyway.
I'm morbidly curious to know what he thinks of women who don't like children.
Basically there are only two situations in which I would recommend this to anybody:
(1) You want to know why fundie families like the Duggars and Bates do what they do, or
(2) You like being angry in your spare time.
Bear in mind it is written by fundamentalist Christians for fundamentalist Christians, and I am not a fundamentalist, but I knew several growing up.
Pros:
Much of the book is dedicated to how children are a blessing and not a burden, which is a good mindset to have.
Cons:
Everything else.
I have two main issues:
First, woven into the parts about how children are a blessing, there is something about the ways that they are said to be a blessing that rubs me the wrong way. Like children are numbers, not individual humans, and you're trying to get a high score. There's a part (maybe several parts?) which says that it's good to have as many kids as possible so that they can grow up to vote and get involved in politics to right America's perceived ills. It's atrocious to have kids for political reasons. Who are you trying to out-breed? Who's to say they won't join the opposing political party? It's also said that your kids will take care of you in your old age. Based on how many people I know who never visit their parents/grandparents, I judge it to be a unreliable retirement plan.
Overall, there was a presupposition that if you parented right, your kids would turn out exactly how you want them. My question is, if he had a kid that turned out to be the opposite of his narrow definition of "good", would the author still consider them a blessing?
Secondly, it's very dismissive of some very legitimate concerns. Doctor recommends you don't have another child? Trust God! Can't afford to feed all of them? Trust God! Everyone you know and love tells you to stop because you're viewing children as stats and not people? Trust God!
Couples with fertility issues were mentioned in one sentence out of the entire book. Women who decide not to have children due to major health problems (such as heritable disorders or life-threatening pregnancy complications) are not mentioned at all. Based off the rest of the book, I'd assume the author would tell them to trust God and have kids anyway.
I'm morbidly curious to know what he thinks of women who don't like children.
Basically there are only two situations in which I would recommend this to anybody:
(1) You want to know why fundie families like the Duggars and Bates do what they do, or
(2) You like being angry in your spare time.
July 6, 2023
Disclaimer: I don’t know anything about the denomination the authors come from. I also don’t care if they are from a denomination that I tend to theologically agree with or not. This review is solely on the contents of this book.
This book isn’t for everyone. It’s only for those who want to be totally immersed by Jesus. That’s right, if you’re not ready to give Jesus full control of your life and forsake all worldly wisdom for what’s said in His Word, this book isn’t for you. All this book does is explore what the Bible says about family planning and shows how we can apply that. This book is going to look bonkers to the world; if it didn’t, I would be questioning whether or not it truly was in alignment with Scripture. I can assure you it is. You can trust the Bible in the face of doctors who say you can’t or shouldn’t have kids. You can trust the Bible in the face of poverty. You can trust the Bible in any situation, because it was written by the Almighty God who knows every situation and has already accounted for every possibility (see 2 Cor. 9:8)
This book addresses the many excuses people make for not wanting to obey the Bible in terms of family planning. Sadly, our culture only really looks to God in this area when facing infertility. The truth is that we should always seek to obey God in all circumstances; not because we are saved by obeying Him, but because He designed us and truly knows what is best! Submission to him in all areas of life is FREEDOM. And I pray that modern Christians would see this truth not only in family planning, but in every aspect of their lives.
This book isn’t for everyone. It’s only for those who want to be totally immersed by Jesus. That’s right, if you’re not ready to give Jesus full control of your life and forsake all worldly wisdom for what’s said in His Word, this book isn’t for you. All this book does is explore what the Bible says about family planning and shows how we can apply that. This book is going to look bonkers to the world; if it didn’t, I would be questioning whether or not it truly was in alignment with Scripture. I can assure you it is. You can trust the Bible in the face of doctors who say you can’t or shouldn’t have kids. You can trust the Bible in the face of poverty. You can trust the Bible in any situation, because it was written by the Almighty God who knows every situation and has already accounted for every possibility (see 2 Cor. 9:8)
This book addresses the many excuses people make for not wanting to obey the Bible in terms of family planning. Sadly, our culture only really looks to God in this area when facing infertility. The truth is that we should always seek to obey God in all circumstances; not because we are saved by obeying Him, but because He designed us and truly knows what is best! Submission to him in all areas of life is FREEDOM. And I pray that modern Christians would see this truth not only in family planning, but in every aspect of their lives.
October 27, 2014
An interesting book that reveals some insights into the blessing children are.
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews