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Adult Children of Emotionally Abusive Families: Overcoming the Pain, Dysfunction, and Trauma of Growing up in a Toxic Family
Not yet published
Expected 6 Oct 26A groundbreaking guide from a leading expert on emotional abuse that reveals how one person’s harmful behavior can ripple through an entire family.
From bestselling and internationally recognized expert and therapist Beverly Engel comes Adult Children of Emotionally Abusive Families, the first comprehensive book to explore how emotional abuse doesn’t just affect couples—it shapes entire family systems, often damaging children in ways that last a lifetime. With decades of clinical experience and a compassionate, empowering voice, Engel exposes the unseen epidemic of emotional abuse in families, where tension, control, criticism, and shame become normalized, and every member suffers the consequences.
While emotional abuse is finally being discussed in popular culture, Engel makes the urgent case that we still aren’t talking enough about its impact on children—and how parents, both the abusive and the abused, may be unconsciously perpetuating cycles of harm. Through real-life case studies, questionnaires, checklists, and healing exercises, she provides an accessible roadmap for recognizing toxic dynamics, stopping the spread of abuse, and most important, helping victims who were or are still being emotionally abused by their families to heal.
While a strong and healthy family can provide a sense of protection and security for its children, what happens when, instead of being a port in the storm, families become the storm itself—bombarding the children with constant conflict and trauma? This is what this much-needed book is about.
Whether you witnessed your parents emotionally abusing one another, are a victim of an emotionally abusive parent, or the victim of a sibling who passed the abuse on to you, Adult Children of Emotionally Abusive Families will offer you the support, validation and concrete tools you so desperately need in order to heal. And if you are an abusive or abused parent or sibling who passed the abuse on to others in your family, this book will offer you compassion and understanding to help you begin to make changes that can alter your life and the lives of those in your family.
From bestselling and internationally recognized expert and therapist Beverly Engel comes Adult Children of Emotionally Abusive Families, the first comprehensive book to explore how emotional abuse doesn’t just affect couples—it shapes entire family systems, often damaging children in ways that last a lifetime. With decades of clinical experience and a compassionate, empowering voice, Engel exposes the unseen epidemic of emotional abuse in families, where tension, control, criticism, and shame become normalized, and every member suffers the consequences.
While emotional abuse is finally being discussed in popular culture, Engel makes the urgent case that we still aren’t talking enough about its impact on children—and how parents, both the abusive and the abused, may be unconsciously perpetuating cycles of harm. Through real-life case studies, questionnaires, checklists, and healing exercises, she provides an accessible roadmap for recognizing toxic dynamics, stopping the spread of abuse, and most important, helping victims who were or are still being emotionally abused by their families to heal.
While a strong and healthy family can provide a sense of protection and security for its children, what happens when, instead of being a port in the storm, families become the storm itself—bombarding the children with constant conflict and trauma? This is what this much-needed book is about.
Whether you witnessed your parents emotionally abusing one another, are a victim of an emotionally abusive parent, or the victim of a sibling who passed the abuse on to you, Adult Children of Emotionally Abusive Families will offer you the support, validation and concrete tools you so desperately need in order to heal. And if you are an abusive or abused parent or sibling who passed the abuse on to others in your family, this book will offer you compassion and understanding to help you begin to make changes that can alter your life and the lives of those in your family.
- GenresSelf HelpPsychology
304 pages, Hardcover
Expected publication October 6, 2026
About the author
Beverly Engel
46 books238 followersBeverly Engel has been a psychotherapist for thirty years, specializing in the areas of abuse recovery, relationships, women’s issues and sexuality. She is also the best-selling author of 20 self-help books, many of which have been featured on national television and radio programs (Oprah, CNN, Ricki Lake, Starting Over) as well as national print media (O Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Ladies Home Journal, Redbook, Psychology Today, The Washington Post, The LA Times, and The Chicago Tribune to name a few).
She is considered one of the world’s leading experts on the issue of emotional abuse, as well as a pioneer on the issue, having written one of the first recovery books on the subject (The Emotionally Abused Woman).
She is considered one of the world’s leading experts on the issue of emotional abuse, as well as a pioneer on the issue, having written one of the first recovery books on the subject (The Emotionally Abused Woman).
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Adult Children of Emotionally Abusive Families • Beverly Engel
One phrase: when the family is the storm 🌧️
This sounds like such an important and validating read.
Adult Children of Emotionally Abusive Families explores how emotional abuse does not just affect one relationship, it shapes entire family systems. Criticism, control, shame, tension, and conflict can become so normalized that children grow up carrying pain they may not even have language for yet.
I appreciate that this book seems to balance compassion with practical tools. It is not just about naming the harm, but understanding the cycle, recognizing toxic patterns, and beginning to heal from what happened inside the family system.
The line that really hit me is the idea that a healthy family should be a port in the storm, but some families become the storm itself.
Oof.
✨ Vibes:
🌧 emotional abuse recovery
🧠 family systems
💔 childhood trauma
🫶 healing tools
📖 case studies
🔎 self reflection
✨ validation and growth
📚 Read this if you like:
Trauma recovery books, family systems work, emotional abuse education, reflective nonfiction, and resources that help put words to painful childhood experiences.
This sounds compassionate, clear, and deeply necessary.
#AdultChildrenOfEmotionallyAbusiveFamilies #BeverlyEngel #TraumaRecovery #NonfictionBooks #BookReview
One phrase: when the family is the storm 🌧️
This sounds like such an important and validating read.
Adult Children of Emotionally Abusive Families explores how emotional abuse does not just affect one relationship, it shapes entire family systems. Criticism, control, shame, tension, and conflict can become so normalized that children grow up carrying pain they may not even have language for yet.
I appreciate that this book seems to balance compassion with practical tools. It is not just about naming the harm, but understanding the cycle, recognizing toxic patterns, and beginning to heal from what happened inside the family system.
The line that really hit me is the idea that a healthy family should be a port in the storm, but some families become the storm itself.
Oof.
✨ Vibes:
🌧 emotional abuse recovery
🧠 family systems
💔 childhood trauma
🫶 healing tools
📖 case studies
🔎 self reflection
✨ validation and growth
📚 Read this if you like:
Trauma recovery books, family systems work, emotional abuse education, reflective nonfiction, and resources that help put words to painful childhood experiences.
This sounds compassionate, clear, and deeply necessary.
#AdultChildrenOfEmotionallyAbusiveFamilies #BeverlyEngel #TraumaRecovery #NonfictionBooks #BookReview
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Beverly! The incredible woman that you are. *Adult Children of Emotionally Abusive Families* comprehensively addresses childhood abuse within dysfunctional family dynamics. Presented as a workbook, Engel’s writing is accessible and engaging. She responds to difficult questions with clarity and empathy, incorporating trauma-informed practices to guide readers through the material. Engel defines key concepts, provides explanations, and includes case studies to support her insights and illustrate various situations. Readers will find themselves reflecting, setting goals, and actively processing their experiences. Whether you have read *Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents* or are exploring your trauma for the first time, I highly recommend this resource as a valuable addition to your therapeutic toolkit. I received an ARC copy through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Thank you to NetGalley, the author, and publisher St. Martin’s Press for the eARC of this 5-star read. This book explains how growing up in an emotionally abusive family can shape how you think, feel, and relate to others long into adulthood. Beverly Engel breaks down a type of trauma that many people struggle to name, using clear language and a kind, understanding tone.What makes this book stand out is how practical it is. It includes real-life examples, simple exercises, and helpful tools to guide readers through recognizing unhealthy dynamics and starting to heal. Topics like sibling abuse, silence within families, and rebuilding your self-image are handled with care and honesty. It’s an emotional but empowering read that gives you a path forward—highly recommended for anyone ready to understand their past and create a healthier future.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin’s Press for the opportunity to read this early copy for review!
Beverly Engel provided deep insight in emotionally abusive households, heavily including examples and guided self reflection activities to really allow every chapter to sink in for the reader. It was a fascinating read in better understanding all aspects that lead to one living, finding their way out and (hopefully) accepting themselves in their entirety after reflecting on the understanding that the only ones now as an adult who can make them feel whole is themselves and finding support in getting there is an amazing start especially with this book. I look forward to seeing other works done by this author.
Beverly Engel provided deep insight in emotionally abusive households, heavily including examples and guided self reflection activities to really allow every chapter to sink in for the reader. It was a fascinating read in better understanding all aspects that lead to one living, finding their way out and (hopefully) accepting themselves in their entirety after reflecting on the understanding that the only ones now as an adult who can make them feel whole is themselves and finding support in getting there is an amazing start especially with this book. I look forward to seeing other works done by this author.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
This is easily one of the most comprehensive and practical guides on emotional abuse recovery available. Engel’s decades of expertise as a therapist shine through in her structured approach to healing. I particularly appreciated the detailed questionnaires and the "Mirror Therapy" concepts that help you deconstruct the distorted self-image your parents might have reflected back to you.
She also addresses sibling abuse and the "code of silence," topics that are often overlooked in other trauma books. It’s a challenging read at times, but the healing exercises and self-assessment tools provide a clear path forward for anyone ready to stop the cycle of harm in their own life.
She also addresses sibling abuse and the "code of silence," topics that are often overlooked in other trauma books. It’s a challenging read at times, but the healing exercises and self-assessment tools provide a clear path forward for anyone ready to stop the cycle of harm in their own life.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
This book was very accessible to its readers and really broke down emotionally abusive families - how to tell if you’re in one, what you might experience, healing, resolution and breaking the cycle. The format was well thought out and made it easy for the reader to recognize issues and hopefully resolves them. Definitely a great read to have as a tool.
September 2, 2026
Review of advance ready copy from NetGalley.
This book was clearly written and easy to read. With simple definitions of key terms, easy to follow bullet point lists, and a variety of different topics, this was a great book. I really appreciated the straightforward exercises included throughout the book.
This book was clearly written and easy to read. With simple definitions of key terms, easy to follow bullet point lists, and a variety of different topics, this was a great book. I really appreciated the straightforward exercises included throughout the book.
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews