“What readers will find here is neither invented nor dreamed. It’s a record of lived experience. Writing is a part of that. Writing is lived.”
- Marguerite Duras’ Preface to Panics
I absolutely loved Barbara Molinard’s Panics. Finding a spot for it in my mind’s library, I would climb a ladder and put it between Kafka and Silvina Ocampo, with Leonora Carrington (on her less magical and fantastical days) nearby. The stories in Panic are surreal nightmares, not of another world, but of this world—in all its warped, disorienting, incongruous terror. The stories are almost dreamlike, with logic at its most absurd and almost childlike, a feeling of standing on shifting sands, something always missing or not quite right, and, finally, how the mind and body exist but can never be trusted in a reality riddled with illness, paranoia, and delusion. But there are also just beautiful moments, joy and grief hand in hand like old lovers reunited.
“It wasn’t until the rain, the wind, and the frost dismayed the passersby, who walked quickly without looking around, their heads tucked behind their coat collars, that she felt a certain harmony between the world, the weather, and herself: a harmony of graynes, a harmony of sadness.”
This is really the only surviving collection of her work, and we are lucky to even have this—thanks to Duras and Molinard’s husband saving these from Molinard’s ritualistic destruction of her own work and thanks to the translator Emma Ramadan for discovering Duras’ preface and working to get it translated and published into English (it has been republished in French this year as well).
“Frozen with terror, she couldn’t wrest her eyes from that face, crazed at the thought that her friend, he, her friend, the man she had taken for her friend, was part of the world of THE OTHERS, that hostile bizarre world of which she knew nothing except that it could not be her own.”
“The human race is flawed. The cities are flawed. The modes of transportation are all wrong: either you miss them or they don’t bring you where you want to go. A few confident people roam through this universe, never cured of their loving, their serving, their waiting.”
-Duras, Preface
4.5*.... Loved this.