Champagne Jackson Kicks Zombie Ass

by F.A. Tallahassee

'Champagne Jackson Kicks Zombie Ass' Blends Horror, Comedy and Action in an Awesome Adventure. It's Apocalypse Time, supernatural stuff is going down and there really is no more room in hell. Our feisty heroine, Champagne Jackson kicks a lot of zombie ass, strings together some choice profanities and learns how to survive the horrors of a world gone mad. She has Marine Sergeant Mike Wilkins along, together with two resourceful Hispanic children, so if they work together, maybe, just maybe, the zombie horde won't know what's hit it. Of course, if the walking dead don't kill you, the living will. There’s The Gravedigger Crew, a powerful black gang run by the man mountain known as Tiny Tyler, together with his lieutenant, Lord Slice, a killer midget, who’s deadly with any edged weapon. Plus there’s the Marauders, a vicious white supremacist outfit who are on the rampage through the new urban wasteland and taking no prisoners. And last, but not least, there’s a tough Chicano mob, The Death Dealers, headed by a smart and ruthless leader. Let’s just say that racial tensions are running a little high and that the suspense really is killing people. Although they do have a nasty tendency to come back again. The dead don’t seem to realize that life is for the living. Can our heroes escape this 3-way gang war and make it out of the big, bad city alive, relatively free of bullet holes and, of course, devoid of zombie bite marks? More to the point, can Champagne Jackson make it through the apocalypse free of hickeys? The diminutive Lord Slice likes his ladies big and round and sassy, just like her. He has his beady, psychopathic eye on both her and her oversized booty. There’s some twisted romance in the air alright, but Champagne Jackson is nobody’s fool and she has a right hook that could fell a buffalo. Yeah, nobody said that life after the Eboflu virus went pandemic was going to be easy, but does post-apocalyptic survival have to be such a total bitch? And remember folks, the only good zombie is a dead zombie. And I mean really dead, a bullet through the head, leaking its little brain, all the way down the drain. BETTER DEAD THAN ZED! DEZOMBIFY! Caution. This book contains strong, sustained, bloody violence and a whole mess of cuss words. If that’s not your bag, then this is not for you. If it is, then man, have we got some crazy ass shit lined up for you! Here’s Why You Should Read This Book. It comes fully equipped with: crisp, witty dialogue that snaps like a whip, crackles like fire and pops right off the page. It has a ballsy, turbo-charged plot that brims with suspense, intrigue and surprises. The heroine has heart, soul and more attitude than she’s got booty and her butt, as we mentioned is pretty big. It’s an electrifying horror tale, well told. You’ll discover a nightmare world populated with criminals, psychopaths, murderers and the living dead; it’s worse than bingo night in No Hope, Alabama. It’s packed with action and the climax really delivers. You’ll take a wild and thrilling roller coaster ride through a terrifying landscape. It’s a gritty, hard-hitting story of the supernatural that’s gore soaked and laced with dark humor. This novel was immense fun to write. It started as a short story, but Champagne Jackson was just too irrepressible to be contained. The story snowballed and a rogue’s gallery of weird and wonderful characters insisted on taking the journey with her. Why don’t you join them? This is an apocalyptic horror novel with added bite. Entertainment is guaranteed.

260 pages, Paperback

First published January 8, 2015

Reviews

[Audrey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not for the faint of heart

This book was quite the wild ride. The most colorful characters come together to kick some zombie ass. Just when you think it may be coming to a close, a new chapter it mayhem begins.

*I received a copy of this book for free. The review is my own, honest and unsolicited.

[A.J. Raven · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read a copy of this book to give it a honest review. I had no idea i was going to enjoy Champagne Jackson Kicks Zombie Ass as much as i did. Stories that have horror in them are rarely able to inflict fear. I like watching zombies in films and TV series, the only zombie themed books ive read are from the Resident Evil series. F.A. Tallahassee does have a way with words and the world he's able to create in his story. He doesn't waste time and gets to the point. We get to know about the female lead, Champagne Jackson, right in chapter one and it's awesome.

Now when you think about a zombie apocalypse book, you might think the main threat are zombies. Here you get a whole gang war that introduces more interesting characters in the story. It kind of made me remember The Walking Dead series, where zombies were present, but comparatively more danger was from groups who wanted to gain power over others. Coming to Champagne Jackson, or CJ for short, she might come across as cartoonish, but then again this is a horror-comedy-action story so it won't put you off from reading the whole book. Like seriously, if i was ever in a zombie apocalypse, i would't mind CJ having my back. I wouldn't mind having such a story turned into a TV series or a film either. Zombieland was a success, and Tallahassee's story is similar in vein.

The story itself is around 260, which aren't much because you will fly through the fast-paced action in no time. Champagne Jackson is an amazing read for anyone who likes comedic horror, action, a feisty female lead, and a whole lot of zombies to destroy.

Note: The same review has been posted on Amazon UK and US.

[Renee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Champagne Jackson is pissed. It's her anniversary and once again she's at home waiting for her no-good husband. And when he does turn up, he doesn't turn up alone.
Storming downstairs to confront the two, she quickly realizes something isn't right. The woman isn't kissing Jackson, she's chewing on him.
After escaping to her store, she realizes someone is already there. Without much of a choice, they team up with other people trying to fight and survive the zombies. But like always, things are going to get a lot worse before it gets better.

Champagne Jackson Kicks Zombie Ass is an awesome take on the zombie apocalypse by F.A. Tallahassee. It has humor, gang wars, romance, and zombies. Did I mention the humor?
Champagne Jackson is larger than life; a large black woman with a huge personality, a foul mouth, and a no-nonsense attitude. She doesn't take crap from anyone-especially those that don't have enough sense to stay dead! She's the perfect main character for this book, and Tallahassee writes her perfectly. All of his characters are done in a slightly over-the-top way but never too much that you roll your eyes. They are fully developed and perfect for the story.
The writing is fast-paced and fun, and you are wrapped up in the story from the first page to the last. You have been placed right in the middle of Tallahassee's world and he makes you feel like you are in the middle of the action with the characters.
This book is pure enjoyment-witty and fun, with danger and intrigue mixed in. I find it hard to believe anyone wouldn't like it!!!

[Becca Hugh · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is aptly titled. Champagne does nothing but kick ass, whether it be zombie, bad guys out to get her, or unwanted sexual advances. I often find that indie horror/comedies are poorly executed, but ‘Champagne Jackson’ is definitely an exception. I think the bad-ass gangs Tallahassee put together (including Champagne’s gang, the Gravedigger Crew, and many others) were unique and full of eclectic personalities. In the world of zombies, these kind of oppositions make for some interesting interactions. People tend to show their best and worst qualities when it’s Armageddon, and they definitely do so in this story.

I think the main reason this is such a great zombie story is that it only uses the brain-eaters as a backdrop to a more complex plot line. Don’t get me wrong, the zombies are everywhere, but there’s just a lot more going on that makes things more interesting and humorous. Talahassee does a great job of injecting the story with humor, in both his choice of words and his ability to set up humorous scenarios. I also liked that the book wasn’t organized and presented as a serial. It can stand alone, and does it well.

[Fox Emm · Rating 5 out of 5]

Pure, Unadulterated Zombie Fun! - Champagne Jackson is my new favorite character in the rapidly expanding sub-genre of zombie fiction. This book has everything I look for in a zombie read. From memorable, reasonably believable characters to action packed adventures and witty dialogue. I think what I like most is that it doesn't take itself seriously, and takes opportunities to give readers big laughs in between the bouts of violence that are necessary in a great zombie book. One of the other reviewers commented that this isn't literature; while that is true (what zombie book is?)- I can vouch that it IS superb story telling. If you're looking for a high quality, thrill a minute ride through the zombie apocalypse, then this is the book for you!

[Nicki · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you can handle the strong, foul language you might enjoy this hilarious story. Actually the language adds to the hilarity. Champagne Jackson, soldier Mike, and two Hispanic children, Diego and Manuela, band together to survive the zombie apocalypse. Turns out the street gangs are more concerning than the zombies! This book ended in such a way as to allow for a sequel. Hint...hint, Mr. Tallahassee. I LOLed through the whole thing!

[Heather Chargualaf · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was lucky to recieve a copy for an honest review.
Champagne is a kick butt ask questions as she kicks your butt woman. After all hell breaks loose and zombies, gangs and all out bad guys are running around she won't quit and sit quietly in a corner.
With a strong female lead I was pulled into the story. enough violence and humor thrown together to make a great read.