How to Build a Godly Marriage: 12 Principles for Flourishing and Lasting - A Practical Guide for Couples Who Want More

by Joel R. Beeke, Mary Beeke

Is your marriage drifting into routine? Has joy given way to quiet distance? Is spiritual vitality absent?

Rediscover the Beauty and Purpose of a Christ-Centered Union

Drawing on decades of pastoral and counseling experience, Joel and Mary Beeke offer twelve clear, biblical principles that strengthen love, deepen communication, and restore hope. Whether your marriage feels solid or strained, this short guide will help you pursue God’s glory together and increase your joy in the covenant you share.

Contents

Part Build Your Marriage by Loving God

1. Build Your Marriage on the Word of God
2. Nurture Spiritual Fellowship
3. Pray Together
4. Practice Family Worship

Questions for Further Study and Discussion

Part Build Your Marriage by Loving Your Spouse

5. Show Sacrificial Love to Your Spouse
6. Practice the Art of Kindness
7. Embrace the Duties of Marriage
8. Develop Good Communication Skills
9. Compliment Your Spouse
10. Cultivate Sexual Intimacy
11. Foster Close Friendship
12. Parent as a Team

Conclusion
Questions for Further Study and Discussion

Genres: Marriage, Christian, Nonfiction, Faith, Christianity, Audiobook, Theology

92 pages, Paperback

Published January 27, 2026

About the author

Joel R. Beeke (PhD, Westminster Theological Seminary) is the chancellor and professor of homiletics and systematic theology at Puritan Reformed Theological Seminary. He has served as a pastor since 1978 and currently ministers at the Heritage Reformed Congregation of Grand Rapids, Michigan. He is the editor of the Puritan Reformed Journal and The Banner of Sovereign Grace Truth magazine, the board chairman of Reformation Heritage Books, the president of Inheritance Publishers, and the vice president of the Dutch Reformed Translation Society.

Beeke has written and coauthored 120 books, edited 120 books, and contributed 2,500 articles to Reformed books, journals, periodicals, and encyclopedias. He frequently lectures at seminaries and speaks at Reformed conferences around the world. The Lord has blessed him and his wife Mary with three children and eleven grandchildren.

Reviews

[Jonathan Roberts · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very very good. I read this to teach and hopefully have the Holy Spirit use in my teaching for couples at my church as a part of a Sunday class….and wouldn’t you know the Lord used it on my first!!! Way to go Lord!!! I am excited to implement the missing pieces of a godly marriage in our marriage! Praise the Lord!

[Becky Aniol · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is tiny and straightforward, but it is filled with such meat of truth from God’s Word. We all can benefit from the wisdom herein.

[Lauren Fee · Rating 5 out of 5]

A tiny book chocked full of principles and practices for how to build a godly marriage. Will be my go to recommendation for a couple who wants to grow their marriage after already having a firm foundation of the theology of marriage.

[Heidi · Rating 5 out of 5]

The author calls the reader to a very high standard of biblical living. It’s full of practical advice and the information is communicated in a way that was convicting rather than shaming. Highly recommend for a quick refresher or primer to Biblical marriage.

[Michaiah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Solid biblical principles. But the application was a little too formulaic and could easily lead to frustration and guilt when your marriage/family doesn’t look exactly like the Beeke’s. I would not recommend or hand this out without talking about this aspect.

[Savannah Sherwin · Rating 5 out of 5]

A small, short, concise and super practical marriage book. Every couple should read this. It was very encouraging and I really appreciated the tangible examples Joel & Mary gave in their own marriage.

[Benjamin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a sweet, concise, yet not exhaustive, approach to encouraging the reader to build into covenant love in marriage. Perfect for newly married or 40+ year marriages. God’s word (provided as many of the book’s sources) can permeate the marriage of a man and a woman in every season of their union. Highly recommend.

[Leah Goebel · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’d give this book 3.5 stars. It dos have a lot of good advice but it reads more as a to-do in a particular formula instead of leaving room for other people’s personalities. I could see a couple read this and think they are failing miserably because their family worship looks different than how they suggest. It is worth the read but definitely not my favorite Beeke work.

[Beth · Rating 5 out of 5]

“In a Word-based marriage, both spouses are called to put God first, and each other second, and themselves third. When both spouses receive grace to do this intentionally on a consistent basis, their marriage will bring glory to God.”

My husband and I have enjoyed reading this book together over the past couple of weeks. Each chapter is concise, yet packed with so much biblical wisdom and practical action steps. The book is divided into two parts- Build Your Marriage by Loving God and Build Your Marriage by Loving Your Spouse. We highly recommend this book for married or engaged couples to read together.

Thank you, @reformationheritagebooks for a complimentary copy of this wonderful book! All opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own.

[Chloe Gilbert · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a great, short, to the point book on key aspects of building a Godly marriage. The Beeke's cover topics such as communication, family worship, parenting, and friendship building in marriage. This is a book that would be great for premarital counseling because, while it's not an exhaustive type book, it provides a great biblical foundation for marriage along with key things for engaged couples to focus on and discuss! My husband and I read this book together and thought it was helpful for us even as exit our newlywed phase!

[Tiffany Hubbard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honestly I wish I'd have read this on my kindle app so that I could've shared all the things I wished I could've highlighted!

This was very good, practical, biblical advice to love your spouse well & honor God in your marriage. I recommend purchasing this one rather than listening to it like I did just to refer back to highlights often.

🎧: 1h44m, listened at 2x (my normal), excellent narration

[Nick Robles · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really direct and helpful. No fluff, but still highly encouraging. It is clear that the Beekes are providing God honoring advice that is pulled straight from their own marriage and experience, and I’m thankful for the example they put forth in this little book.

[Evan Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

The “Short and to the Point” stamp on the front of the book sold me, and it should sell you as well. Read this with your spouse (it has discussion questions), encourage your church to read it with their spouses, and I think I will almost certainly require any couples I counsel (whether married or engaged) to read this as a launching point for a healthy, Christ-centered framework for a Bible-saturated godly marriage.

[Courtney Riggs · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short and to the point. Helpful advice and ideas. It would be good for any marriage, no matter how long you’ve been married already.

[Cindy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short, practical, God centered marriage application.

[Emma Whittaker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very practical! A great reminder to me to intentionally build my marriage! Easy to read with spouse or friend to discuss

[Brooke Zolnik · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short, to the point, and encouraging.

[Luke Stacy · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is a tragedy that I can only rate this book 5 stars.

[Tina O'Neill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great, practical read!

[Mattie Garland · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short, simple, and practical!

[Zack · Rating 4 out of 5]

Delivers what it promises.
A good step in the right direction.
Left me wondering a bit if leadership (in family and otherwise) is simply servanthood, or more substantial than that.

[Kristina · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5

[Tristen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book!

[Caleb Nedimyer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Would have liked a bit more scripture for the foundations of their principles but very helpful for those seeking to grow in the fundamentals

[Aaron · Rating 5 out of 5]

In How to Build a Godly Marriage, Joel Beeke and Mary Beeke share 12 principles for flourishing and lasting in holy matrimony. I know that one of my biggest weaknesses as a husband is communication (ironic, I know, coming from a writer and preacher!).

What I loved most was how Joel and Mary emphasize the spiritual dimensions of marriage. While we may understand these theological realities, it takes intentional effort to apply them in everyday life. Fostering meaningful spiritual conversations is something I want to grow in.

Communication Matters

One particularly helpful aspect of the book is how practical and actionable the principles are. Rather than remaining in the realm of theory, the Beekes provide clear ways to implement these ideas in daily married life, making it easier to take small, meaningful steps toward growth.

In speaking to my wife, I learned that the opposite of complimenting is complaining. I want to be a husband who consistently builds up his wife with words of encouragement and appreciation.

Everyday Connection

Small talk with your spouse is a blessing—it means you have time to share life together. Not every conversation needs to be serious, and even ordinary, day-to-day discussions can create space for connection. I’ve learned to see these seemingly mundane conversations as meaningful parts of marriage.

Written with straightforward wisdom, this book is both a quick read and a practical guide for husbands and wives. Whether you are preparing for marriage or well past the honeymoon stage, it will strengthen, encourage, motivate, and refresh your relationship.

I received a media copy of How to Build a Godly Marriage and this is my honest review. @diveindigdeep

[Caleb · Rating 5 out of 5]

“As a couple, read and discuss biblically saturated, spiritually edifying books to stir up sweet fellowship in your marriage…Then discuss what the truths in the book mean for your own spiritual progress as individuals, as a couple, and as a family. Ask yourselves what the truths in the book mean for your daily life.”

“Practical Advice”
“Simple Principles”
“Spiritual Encouragement”
“Short and to the Point”

These are the taglines you’ll find on the cover of Joel and Mary Beeke’s “How to Build A Godly Marriage” and every single one is well deserved.

Reflecting God’s own law (love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and soul; and love your neighbor as your self), the book is divided into two parts: part one focuses on building your marriage by loving God, and part two is focused on building your marriage by loving your spouse.

Nothing in this book is going to be novel or revolutionary. But the goal is not to be novel; it’s to help couples glorify Christ in their marriages according to the Word. How to Build A Godly Marriage accomplishes this goal. It is practical, simple, encouraging, short, and to the point.

[JJ Powell · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love how short, simple, and to the point this is. It’s filled with biblical principles that are easy to understand and take a lifetime to apply.

My only complaint is that it seems to assume that the wife stays at home and doesn’t work. My wife does stay home, and we feel passionately about her being able to do that, but there are a lot of godly families where the wife goes to work, and this book has a lot of focus on the woman as the one who’s in charge of the house. There’s nothing explicitly wrong with it, but I just wish there was a little more allowance for a more equal sharing of responsibility in those sorts of situations

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

A short, rich little book full of practical advice firmly grounded in scripture. In chapter one, Joel Beeke aces the first test of any Christian marriage book - how to interpret and apply Ephesians 5 - and goes on to provide a series of valuable instructions for marriage including an excellent introduction to the practice of family worship. A study of this book would be equally useful for a couple already married for many years and an engaged couple preparing for marriage. The short length makes it particularly accessible and suitable for a 3-4 week study program.

[Christopher Humphrey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Don’t be fooled by the size of the slim volume. Although this book is short, it packs a tremendous punch. Joel and Mary. Beeke do a great service to Christian families by writing this volume that sets forth 12 principles for flourishing and lasting in a Godly marriage. This is a book that can be read in a very short period of time, but it will take a lifetime of marriage to put all of it into practice. But those who strive to put it into practice, will be well rewarded with a satisfying and God honoring marriage. Happy reading!

[Marci Ferrell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Doug and I brought this little book along on a recent road trip and read a few pages together between long car days and coffee stops. As we come up on our 40th wedding anniversary this year, we’re still thankful for resources that remind us to keep Christ at the center of our marriage. We’ve really appreciated this one from Joel and Mary Beeke. It’s been a sweet little read for us. Grab this one and read it with your spouse.