How to Build a Godly Marriage: 12 Principles for Flourishing and Lasting - A Practical Guide for Couples Who Want More

by Joel R. Beeke, Mary Beeke

Is your marriage drifting into routine? Has joy given way to quiet distance? Is spiritual vitality absent?

Rediscover the Beauty and Purpose of a Christ-Centered Union

Drawing on decades of pastoral and counseling experience, Joel and Mary Beeke offer twelve clear, biblical principles that strengthen love, deepen communication, and restore hope. Whether your marriage feels solid or strained, this short guide will help you pursue God’s glory together and increase your joy in the covenant you share.

Contents

Part Build Your Marriage by Loving God

1. Build Your Marriage on the Word of God
2. Nurture Spiritual Fellowship
3. Pray Together
4. Practice Family Worship

Questions for Further Study and Discussion

Part Build Your Marriage by Loving Your Spouse

5. Show Sacrificial Love to Your Spouse
6. Practice the Art of Kindness
7. Embrace the Duties of Marriage
8. Develop Good Communication Skills
9. Compliment Your Spouse
10. Cultivate Sexual Intimacy
11. Foster Close Friendship
12. Parent as a Team

Conclusion
Questions for Further Study and Discussion

Genres: Christian, Marriage, Theology, Nonfiction, Faith, Christianity, Christian Living

92 pages, Paperback

Published January 27, 2026

About the author

Joel R. Beeke (PhD, Westminster Theological Seminary) is the chancellor and professor of homiletics and systematic theology at Puritan Reformed Theological Seminary. He has served as a pastor since 1978 and currently ministers at the Heritage Reformed Congregation of Grand Rapids, Michigan. He is the editor of the Puritan Reformed Journal and The Banner of Sovereign Grace Truth magazine, the board chairman of Reformation Heritage Books, the president of Inheritance Publishers, and the vice president of the Dutch Reformed Translation Society.

Beeke has written and coauthored 120 books, edited 120 books, and contributed 2,500 articles to Reformed books, journals, periodicals, and encyclopedias. He frequently lectures at seminaries and speaks at Reformed conferences around the world. The Lord has blessed him and his wife Mary with three children and eleven grandchildren.

Reviews

[Joshua Chatman · Rating 5 out of 5]

This resource is excellent for all married couples, regardless of whether your marriage is struggling or strong. It’s brief, biblical, Christ-centered, and practical.

The book is sectioned into two parts: ch. 1-4, 5-12. My wife and I read it together to invest in our marriage. We divided up the book into three sections: ch. 1-4, 5-8, 9-12, and met three times to discuss it. It led to fruitful discussions and helpful changes. I highly recommend this book.

[Jonathan Roberts · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very very good. I read this to teach and hopefully have the Holy Spirit use in my teaching for couples at my church as a part of a Sunday class….and wouldn’t you know the Lord used it on my first!!! Way to go Lord!!! I am excited to implement the missing pieces of a godly marriage in our marriage! Praise the Lord!

[Becky Aniol · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is tiny and straightforward, but it is filled with such meat of truth from God’s Word. We all can benefit from the wisdom herein.

[Lauren Fee · Rating 5 out of 5]

A tiny book chocked full of principles and practices for how to build a godly marriage. Will be my go to recommendation for a couple who wants to grow their marriage after already having a firm foundation of the theology of marriage.

[Heidi · Rating 5 out of 5]

The author calls the reader to a very high standard of biblical living. It’s full of practical advice and the information is communicated in a way that was convicting rather than shaming. Highly recommend for a quick refresher or primer to Biblical marriage.

[Gavin James · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was a very quick book but heavy handed on doctrinal truths. The insights from Joel AND Mary throughout the book were very helpful. Would definitely recommend for new couples and couples who think they already have everything “figured out”. Overall I was impressed with the thoughtfulness and the succinct presentation of the information.

[Michaiah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Solid biblical principles. But the application was a little too formulaic and could easily lead to frustration and guilt when your marriage/family doesn’t look exactly like the Beeke’s. I would not recommend or hand this out without talking about this aspect.

[Janelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really the only marriage book you need! Excellent and Biblical!

[Elizabeth Hardin · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderful little book full of wisdom. A great point towards the beginning that it’s such a blessing that the Lord let us have marriage even after the Fall in the garden.

[Savannah Sherwin · Rating 5 out of 5]

A small, short, concise and super practical marriage book. Every couple should read this. It was very encouraging and I really appreciated the tangible examples Joel & Mary gave in their own marriage.

[Benjamin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a sweet, concise, yet not exhaustive, approach to encouraging the reader to build into covenant love in marriage. Perfect for newly married or 40+ year marriages. God’s word (provided as many of the book’s sources) can permeate the marriage of a man and a woman in every season of their union. Highly recommend.

[Leah Goebel · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’d give this book 3.5 stars. It dos have a lot of good advice but it reads more as a to-do in a particular formula instead of leaving room for other people’s personalities. I could see a couple read this and think they are failing miserably because their family worship looks different than how they suggest. It is worth the read but definitely not my favorite Beeke work.

[Stefani · Rating 4 out of 5]

When they say short, they mean short! I listened to this book in a day on Spotify. I agree with everything in the book. It's great to hear these principles (which are mostly common sense as well) backed up with scripture and Puritan theologians.

I will point out that it says "for Couples" - which means if a wife is the only one reading it, it probably won't work. (The reason for one star off.) And as many wives can attest, most husbands have about zero interest in reading relationship books. And as we can also attest, telling a husband "Joel Beeke says we need to be doing X" won't elicit a great response either--even with his sandwich approach. Haha. This would be a great book to gift for a wedding, though. Maybe a man would be more interested in reading it while still in the honeymoon phase.

This would be great for couples counseling through a church or a couples marriage Sunday School-type class, though.

If you are woman and still want relationship help after reading this book, please try The Empowered Wife by Laura Doyle.

[Beth · Rating 5 out of 5]

“In a Word-based marriage, both spouses are called to put God first, and each other second, and themselves third. When both spouses receive grace to do this intentionally on a consistent basis, their marriage will bring glory to God.”

My husband and I have enjoyed reading this book together over the past couple of weeks. Each chapter is concise, yet packed with so much biblical wisdom and practical action steps. The book is divided into two parts- Build Your Marriage by Loving God and Build Your Marriage by Loving Your Spouse. We highly recommend this book for married or engaged couples to read together.

Thank you, @reformationheritagebooks for a complimentary copy of this wonderful book! All opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own.

[Chloe Gilbert · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a great, short, to the point book on key aspects of building a Godly marriage. The Beeke's cover topics such as communication, family worship, parenting, and friendship building in marriage. This is a book that would be great for premarital counseling because, while it's not an exhaustive type book, it provides a great biblical foundation for marriage along with key things for engaged couples to focus on and discuss! My husband and I read this book together and thought it was helpful for us even as exit our newlywed phase!

[Tiffany Hubbard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honestly I wish I'd have read this on my kindle app so that I could've shared all the things I wished I could've highlighted!

This was very good, practical, biblical advice to love your spouse well & honor God in your marriage. I recommend purchasing this one rather than listening to it like I did just to refer back to highlights often.

🎧: 1h44m, listened at 2x (my normal), excellent narration

[Nick Robles · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really direct and helpful. No fluff, but still highly encouraging. It is clear that the Beekes are providing God honoring advice that is pulled straight from their own marriage and experience, and I’m thankful for the example they put forth in this little book.

[Evan Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

The “Short and to the Point” stamp on the front of the book sold me, and it should sell you as well. Read this with your spouse (it has discussion questions), encourage your church to read it with their spouses, and I think I will almost certainly require any couples I counsel (whether married or engaged) to read this as a launching point for a healthy, Christ-centered framework for a Bible-saturated godly marriage.

[Courtney Riggs · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short and to the point. Helpful advice and ideas. It would be good for any marriage, no matter how long you’ve been married already.

[Cindy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short, practical, God centered marriage application.

[Emma Whittaker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very practical! A great reminder to me to intentionally build my marriage! Easy to read with spouse or friend to discuss

[Brooke Zolnik · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short, to the point, and encouraging.

[Luke Stacy · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is a tragedy that I can only rate this book 5 stars.

[Tina O'Neill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great, practical read!

[Fuller Musselwhite · Rating 3 out of 5]

“Short and to the point” - A very enjoyable and helpful read, especially if you do not have time for something longer (8/10)

[Luke Schmeltzer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short, sweet, and biblically simple! I do wish the verse references weren’t in King James, but otherwise, I have no complaints.

[Baygent · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short and to the point. Great Biblical principles.

[Mattie Garland · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short, simple, and practical!

[Lindsey Moore · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was thankful for this book. I would recommend it with some disclaimers. My husband and I read it together. It helped spark good conversation between us. We like how concise it is. We also like how understandable it is. The Beekes quote puritans and explain biblical principles in a way lay people could understand. One disclaimer would be that the Beekes do take the approach that Song of Songs is an allegory for Christ and the church. It is only a few sentences in the book not a major theme. Then another disclaimer is we do not prefer the term “servant leadership”. Although Beeke explained what he meant well. We’re more cautious with that term. Overall, an encouraging read just some minor disagreements.

[Zack · Rating 4 out of 5]

Delivers what it promises.
A good step in the right direction.
Left me wondering a bit if leadership (in family and otherwise) is simply servanthood, or more substantial than that.