How to Build a Godly Marriage: 12 Principles for Flourishing and Lasting

by Joel R. Beeke, Mary Beeke

Is your marriage drifting into routine? Has joy given way to quiet distance? Is spiritual vitality absent?

Rediscover the Beauty and Purpose of a Christ-Centered Union

Drawing on decades of pastoral and counseling experience, Joel and Mary Beeke offer twelve clear, biblical principles that strengthen love, deepen communication, and restore hope. Whether your marriage feels solid or strained, this short guide will help you pursue God’s glory together and increase your joy in the covenant you share.

Contents

Part Build Your Marriage by Loving God

1. Build Your Marriage on the Word of God
2. Nurture Spiritual Fellowship
3. Pray Together
4. Practice Family Worship

Questions for Further Study and Discussion

Part Build Your Marriage by Loving Your Spouse

5. Show Sacrificial Love to Your Spouse
6. Practice the Art of Kindness
7. Embrace the Duties of Marriage
8. Develop Good Communication Skills
9. Compliment Your Spouse
10. Cultivate Sexual Intimacy
11. Foster Close Friendship
12. Parent as a Team

Conclusion
Questions for Further Study and Discussion

Genres: Faith, Christian Living, Marriage

92 pages, Paperback

Published January 27, 2026

About the author

Dr. Joel R. Beeke serves as President and Professor of Systematic Theology, Church History, and Homiletics at Puritan Reformed Theological Seminary. He has been in the ministry since 1978 and has served as a pastor of his current church, Heritage Reformed Congregation, since 1986. He is also editor of the Banner of Sovereign Grace Truth, editorial director of Reformation Heritage Books, president of Inheritance Publishers, and vice-president of the Dutch Reformed Translation Society. He has written, co-authored, or edited fifty books and contributed over fifteen hundred articles to Reformed books, journals, periodicals, and encyclopedias. His Ph.D. (1988) from Westminster Theological Seminary is in Reformation and Post-Reformation Theology. He is frequently called upon to lecture at Reformed seminaries and to speak at conferences around the world. He and his wife, Mary, have three children: Calvin, Esther, and Lydia.

Reviews

[Jonathan Roberts · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very very good. I read this to teach and hopefully have the Holy Spirit use in my teaching for couples at my church as a part of a Sunday class….and wouldn’t you know the Lord used it on my first!!! Way to go Lord!!! I am excited to implement the missing pieces of a godly marriage in our marriage! Praise the Lord!

[Beth · Rating 5 out of 5]

“In a Word-based marriage, both spouses are called to put God first, and each other second, and themselves third. When both spouses receive grace to do this intentionally on a consistent basis, their marriage will bring glory to God.”

My husband and I have enjoyed reading this book together over the past couple of weeks. Each chapter is concise, yet packed with so much biblical wisdom and practical action steps. The book is divided into two parts- Build Your Marriage by Loving God and Build Your Marriage by Loving Your Spouse. We highly recommend this book for married or engaged couples to read together.

Thank you, @reformationheritagebooks for a complimentary copy of this wonderful book! All opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own.

[Benjamin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a sweet, concise, yet not exhaustive, approach to encouraging the reader to build into covenant love in marriage. Perfect for newly married or 40+ year marriages. God’s word (provided as many of the book’s sources) can permeate the marriage of a man and a woman in every season of their union. Highly recommend.

[Courtney Riggs · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short and to the point. Helpful advice and ideas. It would be good for any marriage, no matter how long you’ve been married already.

[Cindy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short, practical, God centered marriage application.

[Mattie Garland · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short, simple, and practical!

[Tristen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book!

[Aaron · Rating 5 out of 5]

In How to Build a Godly Marriage, Joel Beeke and Mary Beeke share 12 principles for flourishing and lasting in holy matrimony. I know that one of my biggest weaknesses as a husband is communication (ironic, I know, coming from a writer and preacher!).

What I loved most was how Joel and Mary emphasize the spiritual dimensions of marriage. While we may understand these theological realities, it takes intentional effort to apply them in everyday life. Fostering meaningful spiritual conversations is something I want to grow in.

Communication Matters

One particularly helpful aspect of the book is how practical and actionable the principles are. Rather than remaining in the realm of theory, the Beekes provide clear ways to implement these ideas in daily married life, making it easier to take small, meaningful steps toward growth.

In speaking to my wife, I learned that the opposite of complimenting is complaining. I want to be a husband who consistently builds up his wife with words of encouragement and appreciation.

Everyday Connection

Small talk with your spouse is a blessing—it means you have time to share life together. Not every conversation needs to be serious, and even ordinary, day-to-day discussions can create space for connection. I’ve learned to see these seemingly mundane conversations as meaningful parts of marriage.

Written with straightforward wisdom, this book is both a quick read and a practical guide for husbands and wives. Whether you are preparing for marriage or well past the honeymoon stage, it will strengthen, encourage, motivate, and refresh your relationship.

I received a media copy of How to Build a Godly Marriage and this is my honest review. @diveindigdeep

[Marci Ferrell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Doug and I brought this little book along on a recent road trip and read a few pages together between long car days and coffee stops. As we come up on our 40th wedding anniversary this year, we’re still thankful for resources that remind us to keep Christ at the center of our marriage. We’ve really appreciated this one from Joel and Mary Beeke. It’s been a sweet little read for us. Grab this one and read it with your spouse.

[Leah Goebel · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’d give this book 3.5 stars. It dos have a lot of good advice but it reads more as a to-do in a particular formula instead of leaving room for other people’s personalities. I could see a couple read this and think they are failing miserably because their family worship looks different than how they suggest. It is worth the read but definitely not my favorite Beeke work.

[Laura Gioja · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall, a helpful overview of some important areas to look after in marriage. I am not generally a fan of books that are mostly just do this type advice. I prefer to know why and how (which there was some how here for sure) rather than just knowing that these things are good ideas.
I did appreciate the idea of allowing spiritual things to draw us closer. Sharing scriptures, worshiping together etc being glue for a marriage I definitely believe can be true.
Definitely could see this being a good jumping off point for marriage counseling or premarital counseling.

[Katy Sandifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short and to the point is right! I finished it in one sitting. Though it wasn’t lengthy, it was a valuable read, and I think would be a valuable read for any married couple. Absolutely rooted in God’s word as usual for the Beekes. So appreciate them!

[Caleb Nedimyer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Would have liked a bit more scripture for the foundations of their principles but very helpful for those seeking to grow in the fundamentals

[Callie Mason · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a great, practical, and succinct book! It is simple to implement right away.

[Charles Sager · Rating 4 out of 5]

To the point.

[Kayla Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

Quick and easy read with a lot of great information! Would refer back to this book often!

[Matthew Moore · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read one chapter at a time with my wife. Really good!

[Benjamin Baker · Rating 5 out of 5]

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