Friendship in the Lord: A Catholic Classic on Holy Friendship and Life in Christ | A Christian Classic

by Paul Hinnebusch OP, Sr. Miriam James Heidland SOLT (Other), Fr. John Burns (Foreword)

“This book is a friendship telling its story. It is friends telling together their experience of friendship in the Lord.”Friendship isn’t just a longing—it’s a holy calling. We are made for deep, life-giving connection. Yet in a world overwhelmed by digital noise and surface-level interaction, many of us feel more isolated than ever. Friendship in the Lord offers a timeless, grace-filled response to that ache.Originally published in 1974 and beloved by Catholics for decades, this spiritual classic by Dominican priest Fr. Paul Hinnebusch has been reprinted for a new generation—one that longs for meaningful connection but often doesn’t know where to begin. Blending theological depth with heartfelt personal reflection, this book is a moving testament to the real-life beauty of friendship rooted in Christ.With the wisdom of a teacher, the soul of a mystic, and the voice of a friend, Fr. Hinnebusch reveals how authentic friendship—when founded in the love of Christ—is a pathway to holiness and healing.Through rich theological insight and powerful stories, you willdiscover how friendship, grounded in the grace of Christ, becomes a participation in the very life of the Trinity;learn why the Church—especially St. Thomas Aquinas—has long upheld the love of friendship as one of the most fitting images of our relationship with God;reflect on saintly friendships that transformed the Church through mutual encouragement, sacrifice, and prayer—like St. Catherine of Siena and Bl. Raymond of Capua, St. Jane Frances de Chantal and St. Francis de Sales, Bl. Jordan of Saxony and Bl. Diana d’Andalo, and St. Joseph and the Virgin Mary;reclaim the art of seeing, appreciating, and honoring others in a world that has forgotten how to love as Christ does.
 As Fr. Hinnebusch writes, “Intimacy is a love which accepts me fully even when it sees that I am far from perfect . . . a love which always sees my potentialities for good and draws them to full blossom by the sun of appreciation.”In a culture of loneliness, Friendship in the Lord is a powerful, poetic invitation to rediscover the gift of holy friendship. Whether you’re seeking to deepen a current relationship or wondering where to begin, this book offers the guidance and inspiration to find—and become—a friend in the Lord.

Genres: Spirituality, Christian

160 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 2, 2026

Reviews

[Gracie Muraski · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well this was RICH. Definitely will return to reread and ponder more. Made me oh so thankful for the handful of friends I’ve got who reflect the Lords love to me. What gifts they are

[Mary Helen Sherman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Easily my favorite book on friendship. Fr. Hinnebusch somehow so eloquently and tenderly spoke of the beauty and difficulty of friendship and how both are actually necessary for friends to grow together in holiness. I cannot recommend enough.

[liz legg · Rating 5 out of 5]

wowzas. great great content. slightly wordy/maybe repetitive at times where i was like wait what is he saying? but suuuuch good insight into how we can honor the Lord in our friendships! and how every true friendship is a foretaste of heaven! and how we love the Lord in simply delighting in others!! feeling grateful🥲

[Danielle · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this alongside the Abiding Together podcast study. The book is more of a retreat. Think longer, repetitive commentary. It is to be enjoyed slowly and intentionally. Many pieces of thought provoking information. I just didn’t enjoy the repetition.

[Maggie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Could be my best read of 2026.

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lots of underlining, notes in the margins, and beautiful conversations fell into this book and came from it for me. I’ve already sent at least two copies to friends! I think that sums up my take!

[Madeleine Cromer · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this book because it came so highly recommended, but it just wasn’t the right book at the right time for me. A lot of little things bothered me as well. Does a 170 page book really need a prologue, forward, and preface? An afterward and an epilogue? So much of the content was heavily redundant. Counted the word “special” 10+ times over 2 pages. The author’s language was imprecise to the point I found myself paraphrasing what I thought the author actually meant often because the original text was so ambiguous. There were plenty of good wisdom nuggets, but none that slapped me in the face. I can’t say I would recommend this book. Could have been condensed to a blog post.

[Isabella Hattar · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow such a small little book but truly packed a punch. Will definitely be revisiting this again.

[Kelsey Kersting · Rating 5 out of 5]

A spiritual read powerhouse. Very grateful to the Abiding Together podcast for selecting this book for their summer book club!

[Daniel Harper · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed Friendship in the Lord. It's a beautiful reflection on what true Christian friendship looks like and how relationships rooted in Christ can lead us closer to God. Fr. Paul Hinnebusch combines timeless wisdom with heartfelt insights, making this classic feel just as relevant today. The stories, theological reflections, and practical encouragement inspired me to value friendship as a sacred calling rather than simply a social connection. I highly recommend this book to anyone seeking deeper, more meaningful relationships grounded in faith.

[Frank · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book contained many valuable insights. In some ways, I wish I had read this earlier in my life, but I think I might have used some of the thoughts to absolutize certain friendships. This is a pretty short book, but I think I might have read it too slowly because certain parts seemed to be the author simply waxing eloquent about abstract ideas which felt like they were drifting from the main thesis while other parts were very concrete and helpful. I can see myself coming back to this.

[Kathryn Fulton · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lots of good nuggets to reflect on, but I didn’t care for the writing style.

Two main gripes:
1) Very repetitive. This book could have been a quarter its length.
2) Tendency to make statements of truth out of things that I felt like could be stated the exact opposite way in a different context. “Feelings cannot lie.”

Having said that, I had many stars and dog ears and underlines. I was particularly struck by the theme of appreciation drawing the good out of each other.

[Jenn · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Every true friendship is a foretaste of heaven” healing grows where we are known, received and loved. Thank you Jesus for friendships like these. This book is a good gut check of who are those authentic friends vs those who are just friends of utility or convenience and which to pour into more and which to not. Overall a thought provoking book that quite frankly made me really miss my mom ❤️‍🩹

[Kileen Medearis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Any book that I deem "5 ⭐ worthy" is largely due to the fact that I would gladly re-read the book at a later date. This book absolutely falls into that category... It was a simple and profound work that allowed me to think more deeply about my closest friendships, my marriage, and my motherhood. I look forward to discussing the end of this book with my women's group!

[Lauren T. · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so incredibly beautiful! So many things underlined. Look forward to coming back to this book again as life’s seasons direct.

The Abing Together podcast series that went along with it turned it into a helpful tool for reflection and allowing the messages of love and friendship to sink in deeper.

[Alexandra Noga · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF. Got past halfway. The foreword was the best part of the book. It’s not that it doesn’t have sound and good principles, I just found there was nothing ‘new’ in it for me, and much of it very repetitive. I was reading it as part of abiding together podcast

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful book.

[Paula Thibideau · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read with prayer group and Abiding Together podcast.

[Colleen Earley · Rating 5 out of 5]

There is not a chapter that has been highlighted, annotated, and splattered with some tears. I understand why it is a “spiritual classic.”

[Brittany · Rating 4 out of 5]

⭐4
A complex, intense read on friendship and how it always turns back to the Lord. A great intellectual read.

[Sam Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone should read this book. It has changed the way I look at all types of friendships in my life.

Even more special that I read it with two of my besties, iykyk ❤️‍🔥

[Julie Zude · Rating 2 out of 5]

Dense and repetitive.

[Darla Capps · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the most beautiful and inspiring books I have read!

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

The author does repeat himself some but loved the topic. He made me think about friendships and relationships in a deeper different way

[Barb Ruess · Rating 4 out of 5]

There is so much to unpack in this little book. So much to learn about viewing friendships and community in a different light

[A.D. Elliott · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought Friendship in the Lord was a good look into the meaning and importance of Christian friendship. It is a thoughtful little classic, and I appreciated the many examples from the saints. Those examples help ground the book in real lives instead of leaving friendship as a vague spiritual idea.

This is the kind of book that reminds you that friendship is not a minor thing. In a Christian life, friendship can be a form of charity, encouragement, and sometimes even rescue. We are not meant to make our way alone, and good friends help us remember who we are when life, sin, grief, pride, or discouragement try to distort the picture.

Friendship in the Lord would be a good addition to a spiritual collection, especially for readers interested in Catholic spirituality, the saints, Christian community, and the deeper meaning of love between friends. It is not flashy, but it is steady, sincere, and worth reading.