What do you think?
Rate this book
To Whom Shall I Go?: Why I Laid Down My Protest
“I was taught to convert Catholics—then I became one.”
Ellie Hiller grew up in the heart of the Protestant Bible Belt, immersed in a faith she believed was unshakable. Her faith shaped everything—her worldview, her family, her friendships, her marriage. Raised in the Church of Christ yet educated K-12th grade at the flagship school of the Presbyterian Church in America, Ellie lived within two traditions divided on many points of doctrine but united in one Catholicism had perverted the simple, saving Gospel and turned it into “traditions of men.”
Over time, however, subtle contradictions between the two traditions began to emerge. Tensions between what she was taught at home and what she learned at school unsettled her, taking root in her mind and refusing to let go. Where had these two traditions split, and why? Which should she believe when both were reading the same Bible?
As an athlete, those theological tensions became physical. Ellie wrestled with the disconnect between a faith largely lived in the mind and a life powerfully experienced through the body. Why was the body—through which she encountered so much of God’s world—so often treated as secondary in the spiritual life? Where did the tangible and the incarnational belong in worship?
Confident she would find these answers in her Protestant tradition, she set out to uncover a biblical theology of the body. But when her husband of four years told her he wanted to become Catholic, her unshakeable faith began to crumble, and her worldview unraveled. In her grief and desperation to stop his conversion, God began a work in her heart—using her very questions about the place of the body in His plan for salvation to lead her toward a sacramental faith.
Her story is one of struggle and surrender–an unlikely journey that led her, step by step, into the arms of the Church she once sought to save others from.
Ellie Hiller grew up in the heart of the Protestant Bible Belt, immersed in a faith she believed was unshakable. Her faith shaped everything—her worldview, her family, her friendships, her marriage. Raised in the Church of Christ yet educated K-12th grade at the flagship school of the Presbyterian Church in America, Ellie lived within two traditions divided on many points of doctrine but united in one Catholicism had perverted the simple, saving Gospel and turned it into “traditions of men.”
Over time, however, subtle contradictions between the two traditions began to emerge. Tensions between what she was taught at home and what she learned at school unsettled her, taking root in her mind and refusing to let go. Where had these two traditions split, and why? Which should she believe when both were reading the same Bible?
As an athlete, those theological tensions became physical. Ellie wrestled with the disconnect between a faith largely lived in the mind and a life powerfully experienced through the body. Why was the body—through which she encountered so much of God’s world—so often treated as secondary in the spiritual life? Where did the tangible and the incarnational belong in worship?
Confident she would find these answers in her Protestant tradition, she set out to uncover a biblical theology of the body. But when her husband of four years told her he wanted to become Catholic, her unshakeable faith began to crumble, and her worldview unraveled. In her grief and desperation to stop his conversion, God began a work in her heart—using her very questions about the place of the body in His plan for salvation to lead her toward a sacramental faith.
Her story is one of struggle and surrender–an unlikely journey that led her, step by step, into the arms of the Church she once sought to save others from.
260 pages, Kindle Edition
Published December 13, 2025
23 people are currently reading
19 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
December 23, 2025
This is an outstanding book, a moving story of a young woman seeking the truth at any cost. It is also a raw, honest look into marriage and relationships, and I appreciated the author’s vulnearability. I think her story will help a lot of people who are considering becoming Catholic, or even considering changing religions in general. The book presents solid reasoning for the author’s conversion, while never getting preachy. The author readily admits her resistance to conversion and how this resistance affected her relationships. I will definitely revisit this book and recommend it to others. Although I read it as a Catholic, the book served as a reaffirmation of my own faith, and a testament to the power and mercy of God.
Read
January 15, 2026Why you should lay down your protest too. :)
January 15, 2026
She did a great job of defending the Holy Eucharist but there's a lot she leaves out. The gaping hole in her argument is saying that other "christian churches believe in the true presence too". She never talks about Transubstantiation which is the very most important thing that happens at the consecration of the host. At that single moment, the bread and wine TRULY become the Body, Soul, Blood and Divinity of Jesus Christ, truly present in the altar. While other Christian denominations "believe" in the "true presence", they don't believe in Transubstantiation which means they don't believe in the TRUE PRESENCE at all. Without Transubstantiation, there is no True Presence . This is what makes us Catholics stand out and above all other denominations. It's actually terrible that she left this out.
I also would have loved to see how she reconciled herself to other Catholic beliefs. She mentions purgatory and devotion to Our Lady but never explains how she overcame her aversion to either one. I would haved loved to read about that.
She also does well explaining Catholic justification and Apostolic Succession. I had a problem with her calling out the protestant reformers but at the same time being conciliatory with them. The author talks about not coming down too hard on them, I think she did this because as she says she still has many friends and family that are protestant so she doesn't want to "pick on them". Her tone says she's still trying to justify her conversion.
I'm not a cradle Catholic, I'm a convert too. I was trying to be patient with the author, I just found her to be annoying. I just could never justify pleasing my protestant relatives with religious comparisons while my eyes were on the cross.
I also would have loved to see how she reconciled herself to other Catholic beliefs. She mentions purgatory and devotion to Our Lady but never explains how she overcame her aversion to either one. I would haved loved to read about that.
She also does well explaining Catholic justification and Apostolic Succession. I had a problem with her calling out the protestant reformers but at the same time being conciliatory with them. The author talks about not coming down too hard on them, I think she did this because as she says she still has many friends and family that are protestant so she doesn't want to "pick on them". Her tone says she's still trying to justify her conversion.
I'm not a cradle Catholic, I'm a convert too. I was trying to be patient with the author, I just found her to be annoying. I just could never justify pleasing my protestant relatives with religious comparisons while my eyes were on the cross.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews