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If You’re Reading This
He wasn't trying to be famous. He was trying to die.
Danny's been chasing death on camera for over a year. Twenty stunts, millions of views, and not a single scar. No one asked why. No one cared enough to stop him.
Until Iris. A life coach with more empathy than boundaries, who sees through his performance and offers him something no one else has: time.
Twenty sessions. No pressure. No promises.
Just two people, both standing too close to the edge. One trying to fall, and one trying to reach him before he does.
This isn't a love story. It's a survival story, disguised as one.
Danny's been chasing death on camera for over a year. Twenty stunts, millions of views, and not a single scar. No one asked why. No one cared enough to stop him.
Until Iris. A life coach with more empathy than boundaries, who sees through his performance and offers him something no one else has: time.
Twenty sessions. No pressure. No promises.
Just two people, both standing too close to the edge. One trying to fall, and one trying to reach him before he does.
This isn't a love story. It's a survival story, disguised as one.
350 pages, Paperback
Published February 24, 2026
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 82 reviews
March 9, 2026
4.25 stars
Ohhh the feels! Rae Lloyd brings them with Danny’s story. This was beautifully written and equal parts heartwrenching and hopeful.
I was intrigued by Danny’s channel and the comments and engagement he got. It’s really a testament to how people respond to social media and that culture. I loved Danny and Iris, and how the book alternated between Danny’s channel and his present sessions.
I’m glad I went into this book blind and got the full effect. I love books that make me feel and have plots I don’t expect. Rae Lloyd is a fantastic storyteller, and I’m looking forward to her future books!
Ohhh the feels! Rae Lloyd brings them with Danny’s story. This was beautifully written and equal parts heartwrenching and hopeful.
I was intrigued by Danny’s channel and the comments and engagement he got. It’s really a testament to how people respond to social media and that culture. I loved Danny and Iris, and how the book alternated between Danny’s channel and his present sessions.
I’m glad I went into this book blind and got the full effect. I love books that make me feel and have plots I don’t expect. Rae Lloyd is a fantastic storyteller, and I’m looking forward to her future books!
February 27, 2026
I hardly know where to begin with this novel. It is the kind of story that leaves you sitting in silence after the final page. It’s gut-wrenching and heartbreaking, unflinchingly raw and real, heavy with sadness, yet threaded with a quiet, persistent sense of hope. Few books manage to balance devastation and uplift so seamlessly, but this one does so with remarkable grace.
The portrayal of mental health and trauma is especially powerful. The author handles these themes with such care and authenticity that the male main character’s pain feels almost tangible. His struggles are not romanticized or simplified; they are laid bare in a way that is both intimate and deeply affecting. At times, it is emotionally wrecking…but in the way that reminds you why honest storytelling matters.
The plot itself is unique, unfolding in a way that continually holds your attention. There is no predictability here; each turn feels deliberate and earned, adding depth to an already layered narrative.
What resonates most, however, is the novel’s core message: no matter how far someone has fallen, no matter how insurmountable their past may seem, there is always a path forward. It is a testament to resilience, to healing, and to the quiet courage it takes to keep going. Woven through it all is a beautiful love story…one that feels hard-won and profoundly meaningful.
This is the kind of book that stays with you long after you’ve finished it. And it certainly ensures that I’ll be seeking out everything this author writes next.
The portrayal of mental health and trauma is especially powerful. The author handles these themes with such care and authenticity that the male main character’s pain feels almost tangible. His struggles are not romanticized or simplified; they are laid bare in a way that is both intimate and deeply affecting. At times, it is emotionally wrecking…but in the way that reminds you why honest storytelling matters.
The plot itself is unique, unfolding in a way that continually holds your attention. There is no predictability here; each turn feels deliberate and earned, adding depth to an already layered narrative.
What resonates most, however, is the novel’s core message: no matter how far someone has fallen, no matter how insurmountable their past may seem, there is always a path forward. It is a testament to resilience, to healing, and to the quiet courage it takes to keep going. Woven through it all is a beautiful love story…one that feels hard-won and profoundly meaningful.
This is the kind of book that stays with you long after you’ve finished it. And it certainly ensures that I’ll be seeking out everything this author writes next.
February 16, 2026
This is my first book by Rae Lloyd, and from what I understand, this one isn't like the others. I am ok with that because I enjoyed her writing as a whole.
This book is heavy. It took me about a week to get through, not because it wasn't good, but because the material was something I had to be in the right frame of mind for. While some of the things are "extreme", the content is very real.
We have our MMC, Danny, who tries 20 different ways chasing death, but not successfully. A friend sends him to a life coach, Iris, who quickly becomes someone who sees right through him and gives him everything he's never had. Time, attention, love.
If you have triggers, please check them out. This story could hit home for a lot of people and I want you to go in knowing that. This story was done so well and told in a way that it needed to be done. The ending is one that will stick with me and I will always recommend.
Thank you Rae for the opportunity to read this story early and wish you all the luck in the world with this!
This book is heavy. It took me about a week to get through, not because it wasn't good, but because the material was something I had to be in the right frame of mind for. While some of the things are "extreme", the content is very real.
We have our MMC, Danny, who tries 20 different ways chasing death, but not successfully. A friend sends him to a life coach, Iris, who quickly becomes someone who sees right through him and gives him everything he's never had. Time, attention, love.
If you have triggers, please check them out. This story could hit home for a lot of people and I want you to go in knowing that. This story was done so well and told in a way that it needed to be done. The ending is one that will stick with me and I will always recommend.
Thank you Rae for the opportunity to read this story early and wish you all the luck in the world with this!
Review of advance copy received from Author
....so many words to be said about this one but refuse to give any spoilers.
Danny..oh my sweet tortured Danny. Danny is set out a mission to let the world end his life one dangerous task at a time but little does he know he will become a YouTube sensation when he shares videos of the wild & dangerous things he attempts. He meets Iris his new life coach and his world slowly changes. Watching Danny grow through his healing was so special. It was a true reminder that kindness goes a long way. That alls it can take is 1 person, 1 gesture to change someone's life...make them want to stay. UGH so many feels so many real life reminders. This one was so good, had me crying at the end. Do NOT read this for the spice..its pretty non existent but thissss story is SO much more than a romance full of schmexy time. Its real, raw, and relatable and I am SO in love with these two!
Danny..oh my sweet tortured Danny. Danny is set out a mission to let the world end his life one dangerous task at a time but little does he know he will become a YouTube sensation when he shares videos of the wild & dangerous things he attempts. He meets Iris his new life coach and his world slowly changes. Watching Danny grow through his healing was so special. It was a true reminder that kindness goes a long way. That alls it can take is 1 person, 1 gesture to change someone's life...make them want to stay. UGH so many feels so many real life reminders. This one was so good, had me crying at the end. Do NOT read this for the spice..its pretty non existent but thissss story is SO much more than a romance full of schmexy time. Its real, raw, and relatable and I am SO in love with these two!
Review of advance copy received from Author
How do you even begin to review a book that feels less like words on a page and more like a mirror held up to your own soul?
I’m going to start by breaking the rules. Five stars are simply not enough for what Rae has accomplished here. This is a solid, unwavering 6-star read. It is breathtaking, raw, and utterly transformative.
I have read every single book you have written. I’ve been a fan of your storytelling since day one, and I thought I knew the extent of your talent.
I was wrong.
While I have loved all your previous works, If You’re Reading This is in a league of its own. This is your masterpiece. Without a doubt, this is my new favorite Rae Lloyd book.
It’s hard to articulate the visceral reaction I had to this story. It didn’t just touch my heart, it cracked it open. I have never in my entire reading life felt so completely and utterly seen by a book. There were moments I had to put my Kindle down because it felt like Rae had somehow stepped inside my head, taken my most guarded thoughts and fears, and laid them out on the page with gentle, terrifying accuracy.
The vulnerability in this writing is staggering. It’s a story that acknowledges the darkest corners of the human experience but holds your hand tightly while guiding you toward the light.
I already know that If You’re Reading This has instantly become a "forever book" for me. This is the book I will pull off the shelf on bad days. It will be my comfort read for years, perhaps decades, to come because even though it shattered me, it also put me back together with so much hope
I’m going to start by breaking the rules. Five stars are simply not enough for what Rae has accomplished here. This is a solid, unwavering 6-star read. It is breathtaking, raw, and utterly transformative.
I have read every single book you have written. I’ve been a fan of your storytelling since day one, and I thought I knew the extent of your talent.
I was wrong.
While I have loved all your previous works, If You’re Reading This is in a league of its own. This is your masterpiece. Without a doubt, this is my new favorite Rae Lloyd book.
It’s hard to articulate the visceral reaction I had to this story. It didn’t just touch my heart, it cracked it open. I have never in my entire reading life felt so completely and utterly seen by a book. There were moments I had to put my Kindle down because it felt like Rae had somehow stepped inside my head, taken my most guarded thoughts and fears, and laid them out on the page with gentle, terrifying accuracy.
The vulnerability in this writing is staggering. It’s a story that acknowledges the darkest corners of the human experience but holds your hand tightly while guiding you toward the light.
I already know that If You’re Reading This has instantly become a "forever book" for me. This is the book I will pull off the shelf on bad days. It will be my comfort read for years, perhaps decades, to come because even though it shattered me, it also put me back together with so much hope
Review of advance copy
How do I put into words the way this book tore my heart out and put it back together so beautifully.
When Rae said "This isn't a love story. It's a survival story, disguised as one." she meant it. Danny had so much trauma in his past and felt there was no reason to stick around. He decided to plan and film 20 death-defying stunts and hoped the universe would end it for him and if not, he'd take it from there.
The emotional rollercoaster this book put me through was heartbreaking but I loved every minute of it. I loved how supportive and caring Iris was, she accepted Danny and made him feel seen. The mental health representation was raw and hid nothing.
When Rae said "This isn't a love story. It's a survival story, disguised as one." she meant it. Danny had so much trauma in his past and felt there was no reason to stick around. He decided to plan and film 20 death-defying stunts and hoped the universe would end it for him and if not, he'd take it from there.
The emotional rollercoaster this book put me through was heartbreaking but I loved every minute of it. I loved how supportive and caring Iris was, she accepted Danny and made him feel seen. The mental health representation was raw and hid nothing.
Review of advance copy received from Author
Review of advanced copy received from author
Kinda contains spoilers so read at your own risk
Wow what an adventure, one minute you feel like your heart is breaking in two for Danny but the next it feels like its being woven back together by Iris. It really gives you an insight into the life of someone who's had it tough and thinks doing crazy things and leaving it up to fate or chance or God will help them end it so they dont physically have to do it or make that decision.
Side note: Did I detect a cheeky little easter egg for heated rivalry in there?
I loved the growth of the relationship between Danny and Iris, her showing him kindness and compassion while showing him how to be kind to himself and that not all people are bad and want to use you. She shows him the genuine kindness of people that wish to help others no ulterior motives. Iris helped Danny work through his pain in his time, in his own way no judgement just being present.
And just when you think its looking like a happily ever after your heart gets ripped out of your chest and leaves you sobbing in your room on a Monday afternoon.
Actually scratch that...... your heart gets ripped out but it does get put back together again.
This book feels like love letter for those who've had it tough, struggled, been knocked down and gotten back up again, It makes you feel uncomfortable but seen.
Everybody has their own journey filled with ups and downs but this book shows that no matter what youve been through you can get through it and a simple act of kindness can be that spark that Lights the fire in you to heal and remember there are things worth living for.
"Dopamine instead of Death"
Kinda contains spoilers so read at your own risk
Wow what an adventure, one minute you feel like your heart is breaking in two for Danny but the next it feels like its being woven back together by Iris. It really gives you an insight into the life of someone who's had it tough and thinks doing crazy things and leaving it up to fate or chance or God will help them end it so they dont physically have to do it or make that decision.
Side note: Did I detect a cheeky little easter egg for heated rivalry in there?
I loved the growth of the relationship between Danny and Iris, her showing him kindness and compassion while showing him how to be kind to himself and that not all people are bad and want to use you. She shows him the genuine kindness of people that wish to help others no ulterior motives. Iris helped Danny work through his pain in his time, in his own way no judgement just being present.
And just when you think its looking like a happily ever after your heart gets ripped out of your chest and leaves you sobbing in your room on a Monday afternoon.
Actually scratch that...... your heart gets ripped out but it does get put back together again.
This book feels like love letter for those who've had it tough, struggled, been knocked down and gotten back up again, It makes you feel uncomfortable but seen.
Everybody has their own journey filled with ups and downs but this book shows that no matter what youve been through you can get through it and a simple act of kindness can be that spark that Lights the fire in you to heal and remember there are things worth living for.
"Dopamine instead of Death"
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 27, 2026
Tropes:
dual timeline
mental health rep
suicidal mmc
First Person POV
Trigger Warnings:
suicidal thoughts/behavior
childhood abuse
PTSD
gun violence
Where do I begin? I went into If You're Reading This blind... honestly thinking it was going to be a romance book. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine it would take on the story that it did and I would be a sobbing mess by the end.
If You're Reading This is a story/ a letter / a cry for help / a look into the human psyche of a man who has given up on life... or rather believes life has given up on him. He suffered a lot as a child, growing up in foster care with adults who abused him. * PLEASE TAKE TRIGGER WARNINGS TO HEART * This has led Danny to want to exit this world as an adult and he's decided he'll give the universe 20 attempts to take his life before he ends it himself. He videos each attempt and becomes YouTube famous. Which leads to a life coach, Iris, and a video editor, Carter, who enter Danny's life and tries to make him see things are worth living for.
The thoughts, the feelings, the emotions I read in this one... I just don't know where to begin. Maybe with the videos? The chapters that described each "Die Trying" video were insane! How did Rae Lloyd come up with these? Is there someone on YouTube who makes videos like this or maybe just a compilation of peoples? Either way, they were insane and I loved them, as depressing as they were suppose to be. She did such a great job with each chapter and I could feel that care she took with each one. Which brings me to Danny's journey. I loved watching Danny's character start to change by the end of the 20 videos. Did he still want to die? Did he want to live? Did his outlook on situations change? I won't spoil it but I HIGHLY recommend reading this book.
Then there's the relationship with Iris and Carter. Both were incredibly beautiful in their own rights. Carter being the friend Danny needed and Iris being a life coach who turns into a friend as well. Both show Danny that people DO care, and what that looks like and it was again, so well done. I am obsessed with it. Then there's the ending.... again, no spoilers but I bawled. I did not expect to cry like I did and that to me, shows me how deep this book was.
If anyone has self-harm thoughts, please reach out to me, I'm happy to listen and be a person who cares.
dual timeline
mental health rep
suicidal mmc
First Person POV
Trigger Warnings:
suicidal thoughts/behavior
childhood abuse
PTSD
gun violence
Where do I begin? I went into If You're Reading This blind... honestly thinking it was going to be a romance book. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine it would take on the story that it did and I would be a sobbing mess by the end.
If You're Reading This is a story/ a letter / a cry for help / a look into the human psyche of a man who has given up on life... or rather believes life has given up on him. He suffered a lot as a child, growing up in foster care with adults who abused him. * PLEASE TAKE TRIGGER WARNINGS TO HEART * This has led Danny to want to exit this world as an adult and he's decided he'll give the universe 20 attempts to take his life before he ends it himself. He videos each attempt and becomes YouTube famous. Which leads to a life coach, Iris, and a video editor, Carter, who enter Danny's life and tries to make him see things are worth living for.
The thoughts, the feelings, the emotions I read in this one... I just don't know where to begin. Maybe with the videos? The chapters that described each "Die Trying" video were insane! How did Rae Lloyd come up with these? Is there someone on YouTube who makes videos like this or maybe just a compilation of peoples? Either way, they were insane and I loved them, as depressing as they were suppose to be. She did such a great job with each chapter and I could feel that care she took with each one. Which brings me to Danny's journey. I loved watching Danny's character start to change by the end of the 20 videos. Did he still want to die? Did he want to live? Did his outlook on situations change? I won't spoil it but I HIGHLY recommend reading this book.
Then there's the relationship with Iris and Carter. Both were incredibly beautiful in their own rights. Carter being the friend Danny needed and Iris being a life coach who turns into a friend as well. Both show Danny that people DO care, and what that looks like and it was again, so well done. I am obsessed with it. Then there's the ending.... again, no spoilers but I bawled. I did not expect to cry like I did and that to me, shows me how deep this book was.
If anyone has self-harm thoughts, please reach out to me, I'm happy to listen and be a person who cares.
Review of advance copy received from Author
Being selected as an ARC reader for If You Are Reading This by Rae Lloyd was such a privilege—and let me tell you, this book is unlike anything I’ve read before.
This is a slow-burn story, and while that may turn some readers off, I strongly encourage you to stick with it. Read the chapters. Let the story unfold. With each one, another piece of the puzzle clicks into place, and before you realize it, you’re fully invested.
My heart absolutely ached for Danny. Rae gives just enough insight into his childhood to help you truly understand him without being overly graphic. You feel his pain, his confusion, and his deep sense of unworthiness in a very real way.
And Iris, I loved her. She comes into Danny’s life as his Life Coach, but what unfolds is so much deeper. She challenges his perspective, helping him move from simply surviving to actually living. Watching that shift was powerful.
One thing to note: the story moves across different years, so paying attention to the chapter titles is important to fully appreciate the timeline but once you do, it adds to the emotional depth rather than distracting from it.
This is not your typical romance filled with constant on page intimacy. Instead, it’s about growth, healing, and the slow, meaningful build of a connection. Seeing Danny go from feeling purposeless and undeserving of life to realizing he’s always had value and finding someone who helps him see that made this book absolutely worth the read.
A truly touching and thought-provoking story. I’m very much looking forward to whatever Rae gives us next.
This is a slow-burn story, and while that may turn some readers off, I strongly encourage you to stick with it. Read the chapters. Let the story unfold. With each one, another piece of the puzzle clicks into place, and before you realize it, you’re fully invested.
My heart absolutely ached for Danny. Rae gives just enough insight into his childhood to help you truly understand him without being overly graphic. You feel his pain, his confusion, and his deep sense of unworthiness in a very real way.
And Iris, I loved her. She comes into Danny’s life as his Life Coach, but what unfolds is so much deeper. She challenges his perspective, helping him move from simply surviving to actually living. Watching that shift was powerful.
One thing to note: the story moves across different years, so paying attention to the chapter titles is important to fully appreciate the timeline but once you do, it adds to the emotional depth rather than distracting from it.
This is not your typical romance filled with constant on page intimacy. Instead, it’s about growth, healing, and the slow, meaningful build of a connection. Seeing Danny go from feeling purposeless and undeserving of life to realizing he’s always had value and finding someone who helps him see that made this book absolutely worth the read.
A truly touching and thought-provoking story. I’m very much looking forward to whatever Rae gives us next.
January 28, 2026
Let me start by saying this was my second book by Rae and I am so ready to dive into more. This was so different than the last I read, but boy did it put me through it.
This one was tough. Check your triggers and do not enter this lightly, but man this book captured my whole heart. It was beautiful. It was heartbreaking. & it was so real. This one had me laughing, crying, smiling, and then crying again. I was feeling so much! The emotional rollercoaster was one like I haven’t felt in along time. It absolutely broke me & then put me back together in the best way. I felt so much of this story in my own self & seeing it written out, just gave a space of acknowledgment that truly felt so healing.
Just when I was put back together the author note brought me to tears again. Truly just one of those stories that is worth telling and will forever stick with me. One that makes you think deeper and gives a safe place for so many people.
Thank you, Rae for the early reading opportunity and trusting me with this story. I cannot wait for the world to experience this one for themselves!!
This one was tough. Check your triggers and do not enter this lightly, but man this book captured my whole heart. It was beautiful. It was heartbreaking. & it was so real. This one had me laughing, crying, smiling, and then crying again. I was feeling so much! The emotional rollercoaster was one like I haven’t felt in along time. It absolutely broke me & then put me back together in the best way. I felt so much of this story in my own self & seeing it written out, just gave a space of acknowledgment that truly felt so healing.
Just when I was put back together the author note brought me to tears again. Truly just one of those stories that is worth telling and will forever stick with me. One that makes you think deeper and gives a safe place for so many people.
Thank you, Rae for the early reading opportunity and trusting me with this story. I cannot wait for the world to experience this one for themselves!!
May 13, 2026
Have you ever read a book and you just stare into space after you’ve finished?
THIS. BOOK. ♾️⭐️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I absolutely devoured this!!! I’m speechless.
This book is about Danny who has lived a life many can’t even imagine how terrible life could be. He tries to end his life naturally doing crazy dangerous stunts that could potentially kill him. But every stunt ends with him still there…living. He starts a you tube channel to follow his 20 stunts. He goes viral and ends up having 20M followers.
His editor Carter intervenes after 1 night Danny mistakenly sent him something he wasn’t supposed to and makes him go see a “life coach” Iris for 20 sessions.
Reading and following along how Iris makes Danny want to live again was amazing. Ugh so good.
My heart hurt throughout this whole book for Danny. I loved how Rae wrote this book with the Chapters being his 20 stunts and every other chapter was his “sessions” with Iris. It just wove together beautifully. And the end? 🤌🏽💋
THIS. BOOK. ♾️⭐️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I absolutely devoured this!!! I’m speechless.
This book is about Danny who has lived a life many can’t even imagine how terrible life could be. He tries to end his life naturally doing crazy dangerous stunts that could potentially kill him. But every stunt ends with him still there…living. He starts a you tube channel to follow his 20 stunts. He goes viral and ends up having 20M followers.
His editor Carter intervenes after 1 night Danny mistakenly sent him something he wasn’t supposed to and makes him go see a “life coach” Iris for 20 sessions.
Reading and following along how Iris makes Danny want to live again was amazing. Ugh so good.
My heart hurt throughout this whole book for Danny. I loved how Rae wrote this book with the Chapters being his 20 stunts and every other chapter was his “sessions” with Iris. It just wove together beautifully. And the end? 🤌🏽💋
Review of advance copy received from Author
Oh my stars I laughed, I cried and found myself wanting to experience some of the endeavours Danny filmed with his go pro, that he uploaded to his youtube channel .. If your reading this takes the reader on a journey, through the mind of someone who is over his lot in life.. feeling so very broken by the experiences he’s experienced. I found so many of my pieces interspersed with Danny’s beliefs which were shaped by his childhood experiences and how it affects his life as an adult, what I could see when it came to Danny was so much more than he could see of himself — we also witness how when things feel so. Broken how regimented and strict we are with the things we allow ourselves the experience of when we don’t feel worthy enough of anything in life — when the one thing we can control is ourselves, our experiences.. and how we punish ourselves through isolation and disconnection.
In essence how we keep the abuse cycles alive in our lives whether its through withholding certain attachments or experiences or the outlook so bleak to ourselves who fail to feel anything but the starvation of the one thing we don’t allow ourselves to acknowledge — our need to connect.
Yes its a trauma response and yes it’s a safety behaviour we utilise when we want to protect ourselves in our vulnerabilities - never to be a victim again —
We see Danny Surviving his trauma, but merely existing day to day - not living - not experiencing - all the way to when he has that awakening -
Enter Carter - The Connection and Friend you never knew you needed… but secretly in the deepest parts of your soul craved and longed for.
Carter approaches Danny and asks to edit his content, as he see’s the beauty within the chaos of all Danny achieves footage wise.. he is also the voice of reason and at times Danny’s confidant/sounding board.. he at times questions Danny’s decision making re: content for his YouTube channel, but supports him 100% unconditionally even when a file finds it’s way into Carter’s email that changes everything…
Introducing Iris — Iris as a character evolves along side Danny in every chapter she is involved in I love how she phrased she wasn ‘t a therapist but a life coach giving Danny More in depth questions to be asking himself.. and as a reader and identifying with these characters find yourself in turn asking yourself better more in depth questions in those quieter moments when we are being the most horrible version of ourselves to ourselves..
Needing control — controlling your narrative — we see the beauty in the chaos of challenging Mother Nature and Science with the challenge and focus of unaliving oneself, and how in the same narrative you can’t control the things outside of yourself.. we also witness the cycles of trauma that live in a constant loop on a cellular level of Danny’s psyche — he may not be living the physical daily dose of the childhood trauma he experienced, but the cycle continues to play out in the way he challenges the elements and fate whilst living he is slowly discovering there is beauty in those moments when your breath stills, your heart races and the frisson of the sudden death urge pushes you forward..
The despair, the simple act of and yet the desperation he experiences when handing control over to outside forces — relinquishing all of that heavy energy that makes you a shell of who you have the potential to becoming and also filling you with the adrenaline of the realisation that you are still here …
The narrative is in the beauty of reclaiming your souls essence and becoming the you you’ve never allowed yourself to become — the freedom in experiencing even an inkling of all things possible you’ve never allowed yourself the opportunity of desiring, of voicing aloud for fear of it being taken from you in that moment..
I found myself learning ways to reclaim myself in the sessions between Iris and Danny, as does Iris and as does Danny…
If Your Reading This - Begins as a cry for help out of a desperation so pure, born from not knowing how to get up from the depths of despair.. to If your reading this I thankyou, I love you and above all I honor what is..
Rae has written amazing well rounded versatile and empowered characters in all the stories I have had the pleasure of immersing myself into the worlds her characters live in, where they become tangible breathing living beings, that evolve from the depths of their quiet turmoil into the glorious beautiful bright light that they are created to be in their souls essence, in their core..
If your reading this has been this for me.. where when it all falls away you realise — you do matter, you are loveable and are love in all its entirety even when the voice in your mind tells you your not — your voice matters — you are magnificent and unequivocally where you are meant to be..
I wanted this to be spoiler free but still convey how amazing this Journey into Danny’s experience is — it’s richly rewarding — and stays with you long after you’ve read the last words The End…
It also leaves you creating your own narrative as you look inside your minds eye and see Iris and Carter embrace life guiding others into finding who they truly are beyond their trauma. How cycles can stop with you. When you put in the work and love yourself unconditionally <3
I highly recommend this novel to readers <3
In essence how we keep the abuse cycles alive in our lives whether its through withholding certain attachments or experiences or the outlook so bleak to ourselves who fail to feel anything but the starvation of the one thing we don’t allow ourselves to acknowledge — our need to connect.
Yes its a trauma response and yes it’s a safety behaviour we utilise when we want to protect ourselves in our vulnerabilities - never to be a victim again —
We see Danny Surviving his trauma, but merely existing day to day - not living - not experiencing - all the way to when he has that awakening -
Enter Carter - The Connection and Friend you never knew you needed… but secretly in the deepest parts of your soul craved and longed for.
Carter approaches Danny and asks to edit his content, as he see’s the beauty within the chaos of all Danny achieves footage wise.. he is also the voice of reason and at times Danny’s confidant/sounding board.. he at times questions Danny’s decision making re: content for his YouTube channel, but supports him 100% unconditionally even when a file finds it’s way into Carter’s email that changes everything…
Introducing Iris — Iris as a character evolves along side Danny in every chapter she is involved in I love how she phrased she wasn ‘t a therapist but a life coach giving Danny More in depth questions to be asking himself.. and as a reader and identifying with these characters find yourself in turn asking yourself better more in depth questions in those quieter moments when we are being the most horrible version of ourselves to ourselves..
Needing control — controlling your narrative — we see the beauty in the chaos of challenging Mother Nature and Science with the challenge and focus of unaliving oneself, and how in the same narrative you can’t control the things outside of yourself.. we also witness the cycles of trauma that live in a constant loop on a cellular level of Danny’s psyche — he may not be living the physical daily dose of the childhood trauma he experienced, but the cycle continues to play out in the way he challenges the elements and fate whilst living he is slowly discovering there is beauty in those moments when your breath stills, your heart races and the frisson of the sudden death urge pushes you forward..
The despair, the simple act of and yet the desperation he experiences when handing control over to outside forces — relinquishing all of that heavy energy that makes you a shell of who you have the potential to becoming and also filling you with the adrenaline of the realisation that you are still here …
The narrative is in the beauty of reclaiming your souls essence and becoming the you you’ve never allowed yourself to become — the freedom in experiencing even an inkling of all things possible you’ve never allowed yourself the opportunity of desiring, of voicing aloud for fear of it being taken from you in that moment..
I found myself learning ways to reclaim myself in the sessions between Iris and Danny, as does Iris and as does Danny…
If Your Reading This - Begins as a cry for help out of a desperation so pure, born from not knowing how to get up from the depths of despair.. to If your reading this I thankyou, I love you and above all I honor what is..
Rae has written amazing well rounded versatile and empowered characters in all the stories I have had the pleasure of immersing myself into the worlds her characters live in, where they become tangible breathing living beings, that evolve from the depths of their quiet turmoil into the glorious beautiful bright light that they are created to be in their souls essence, in their core..
If your reading this has been this for me.. where when it all falls away you realise — you do matter, you are loveable and are love in all its entirety even when the voice in your mind tells you your not — your voice matters — you are magnificent and unequivocally where you are meant to be..
I wanted this to be spoiler free but still convey how amazing this Journey into Danny’s experience is — it’s richly rewarding — and stays with you long after you’ve read the last words The End…
It also leaves you creating your own narrative as you look inside your minds eye and see Iris and Carter embrace life guiding others into finding who they truly are beyond their trauma. How cycles can stop with you. When you put in the work and love yourself unconditionally <3
I highly recommend this novel to readers <3
April 14, 2026
✨✨✨✨✨ keep in mind the star review is based off of MY interests!
Honestly this review is hard to write, in a VERY GOOD way. This book is raw and has sooo much meaning behind it, I feel like you NEED to read the story to understand and my review won’t do it justice. You should read this if you want a story that dives deep about someone’s truth managing suicide. It’s not just that though, learning how to heal, having hope, how to love and how to overcome some of the hardest things in life.
Danny’s story is a very interesting take on current trends (social media) and as a stuntman who is risking it all in the hopes that he will die (by a foreseen accident, hoping the world will take him not him actually him making the final decision). The story changes between his current life and explanations of his stunts. The change in Danny is so incredibly honest. I really truly felt I was in Danny’s thoughts, I can’t put myself in his shoes, but I don’t think anyone really can unless you have similar thoughts and feelings. The way Rae describes his story is beautifully done.
Carter, not fully realizing what the videos were, starts off as Danny’s editor and eventually becomes more, a friend, a companion? Everyone needs a Carter in their life, someone who notices changes or will check in when something seems or is off.
Iris is Danny’s life coach. Their story, 💙💙💙💙, it emphasizes the importance of connection and building something from nothing. No matter who you are, you are always having an impact on someone. It may be small but it could be life changing!
Once you are done reading, you’ll be wrecked, in the best way possible. You’ll always remember this book, and who knows maybe it will help you or help you help someone you know.
⚠️⚠️ As for triggers, please read the trigger warnings before reading this book. There are a lot, but they are very tastefully written. Main triggered, mental health and trauma.
I recommend the following professions to read this book, I really think it will help and be eye opening: teachers, social workers, law enforcement, firefighters, mental health professionals. Realistically anyone who wants to help make a change or has power over someone.
I am voluntarily leaving this review and all thoughts are my own!
Thanks for the gifted paperback copy @raelloydwrites, I know sending physical books can be scary and I’m sorry it took a few extra days to get my review in, but omg am I happy you sent it. 100% recommend this book!
Suicide is a hard topic to discuss. Most people shy away from it. I’m here to help spread the word that it’s okay to ask for help and it’s okay be “not dead yet.” Each day matters and sometimes it’s just one day at a time.
Honestly this review is hard to write, in a VERY GOOD way. This book is raw and has sooo much meaning behind it, I feel like you NEED to read the story to understand and my review won’t do it justice. You should read this if you want a story that dives deep about someone’s truth managing suicide. It’s not just that though, learning how to heal, having hope, how to love and how to overcome some of the hardest things in life.
Danny’s story is a very interesting take on current trends (social media) and as a stuntman who is risking it all in the hopes that he will die (by a foreseen accident, hoping the world will take him not him actually him making the final decision). The story changes between his current life and explanations of his stunts. The change in Danny is so incredibly honest. I really truly felt I was in Danny’s thoughts, I can’t put myself in his shoes, but I don’t think anyone really can unless you have similar thoughts and feelings. The way Rae describes his story is beautifully done.
Carter, not fully realizing what the videos were, starts off as Danny’s editor and eventually becomes more, a friend, a companion? Everyone needs a Carter in their life, someone who notices changes or will check in when something seems or is off.
Iris is Danny’s life coach. Their story, 💙💙💙💙, it emphasizes the importance of connection and building something from nothing. No matter who you are, you are always having an impact on someone. It may be small but it could be life changing!
Once you are done reading, you’ll be wrecked, in the best way possible. You’ll always remember this book, and who knows maybe it will help you or help you help someone you know.
⚠️⚠️ As for triggers, please read the trigger warnings before reading this book. There are a lot, but they are very tastefully written. Main triggered, mental health and trauma.
I recommend the following professions to read this book, I really think it will help and be eye opening: teachers, social workers, law enforcement, firefighters, mental health professionals. Realistically anyone who wants to help make a change or has power over someone.
I am voluntarily leaving this review and all thoughts are my own!
Thanks for the gifted paperback copy @raelloydwrites, I know sending physical books can be scary and I’m sorry it took a few extra days to get my review in, but omg am I happy you sent it. 100% recommend this book!
Suicide is a hard topic to discuss. Most people shy away from it. I’m here to help spread the word that it’s okay to ask for help and it’s okay be “not dead yet.” Each day matters and sometimes it’s just one day at a time.
Review of advance copy received from Author
I'm not sure that I can accurately describe how intensely this book took some of my deepest feelings and put them on paper in such a hauntingly beautiful way.
Danny is our MMC, and has been chasing death on camera for the last 18 months, rather unsuccessfully. To his dismay, death continues to look him in the eye and laugh, leaving him to wake up another day, "still here". When a friend (one he doesn't even recognize cares) realizes what he's been doing all this time, he makes a deal with him to attend 20 sessions with a life coach; no more, no less. Enter Iris, a somewhat nerdy albeit beautiful soul who offered Danny the things no one else ever had before. Time. Stability. Attention. Empathy. Love.
The way this book made me feel seen was unlike any other. Having grown up in an abusive household, the idea of not existing anymore, being done with life, wanting death to provide an escape, are feelings I'm not unfamiliar with. Feeling like no where and no one is a safe place? Been there. Thinking you're broken, unlovable, unwanted, only to be suspicious when someone makes even a small gesture of kindness to you? It's exhausting, debilitating even. It's Danny, screaming with his entire soul at a hurricane, a tornado, over the side of a suspension bridge during a storm. Screaming out, "Doesn't anyone f***ing care????" only for no one to hear you, and if they do, not doing anything about it. It's openly telling people how unhappy you are, how much you wished you weren't alive, only to be brushed off like you're being funny or dramatic. Self-harming in a not very secretive way and yet still... no one notices for years, or ever.
Rae, how did you do it? How did you so quietly and immaculately pull such raw emotions and bleed them on paper like a piece of art? It's a gift. A gift for those of us who read this and know what it's like to be Danny. A gift to have the voice of Iris calmly walking alongside you on a journey of healing, even when a smooth trail turns into a steep hike.
This book does have a TW for child SA (referred to in the past). If you can handle that, it is undoubtedly one of the most quietly significant books I've ever read on mental health. With immense gratitude, thank you to Rae Lloyd for allowing me to read and review an advanced copy. When I get my paperback copy, it is sure to be held tightly with love, just like the way Iris hugged Danny ❤️
Danny is our MMC, and has been chasing death on camera for the last 18 months, rather unsuccessfully. To his dismay, death continues to look him in the eye and laugh, leaving him to wake up another day, "still here". When a friend (one he doesn't even recognize cares) realizes what he's been doing all this time, he makes a deal with him to attend 20 sessions with a life coach; no more, no less. Enter Iris, a somewhat nerdy albeit beautiful soul who offered Danny the things no one else ever had before. Time. Stability. Attention. Empathy. Love.
The way this book made me feel seen was unlike any other. Having grown up in an abusive household, the idea of not existing anymore, being done with life, wanting death to provide an escape, are feelings I'm not unfamiliar with. Feeling like no where and no one is a safe place? Been there. Thinking you're broken, unlovable, unwanted, only to be suspicious when someone makes even a small gesture of kindness to you? It's exhausting, debilitating even. It's Danny, screaming with his entire soul at a hurricane, a tornado, over the side of a suspension bridge during a storm. Screaming out, "Doesn't anyone f***ing care????" only for no one to hear you, and if they do, not doing anything about it. It's openly telling people how unhappy you are, how much you wished you weren't alive, only to be brushed off like you're being funny or dramatic. Self-harming in a not very secretive way and yet still... no one notices for years, or ever.
Rae, how did you do it? How did you so quietly and immaculately pull such raw emotions and bleed them on paper like a piece of art? It's a gift. A gift for those of us who read this and know what it's like to be Danny. A gift to have the voice of Iris calmly walking alongside you on a journey of healing, even when a smooth trail turns into a steep hike.
This book does have a TW for child SA (referred to in the past). If you can handle that, it is undoubtedly one of the most quietly significant books I've ever read on mental health. With immense gratitude, thank you to Rae Lloyd for allowing me to read and review an advanced copy. When I get my paperback copy, it is sure to be held tightly with love, just like the way Iris hugged Danny ❤️
February 25, 2026
How do you even begin to review a book that feels less like a story and more like a reflection of your own soul?
I’ll start by ignoring the rating scale altogether. Five stars don’t come close to capturing what Rae has done here. This is a clear, undeniable six-star read—stunning, unflinching, and profoundly life-changing.
My heart ached for Danny from the very first pages. Rae reveals just enough about his childhood to help readers understand the roots of his struggles without delving into anything gratuitous. His pain, confusion, and deep sense of unworthiness feel raw and remarkably authentic.
And Iris—she was an absolute highlight. She steps into Danny’s life as his Life Coach, but what grows between them becomes something far more profound. With a gentle but steady hand, she challenges the way he sees himself, nudging him from simply existing toward truly living. Watching that transformation unfold was powerful and deeply moving.
As much as I’ve cherished your previous novels, If You’re Reading This stands apart. It’s on an entirely different level. This is your masterpiece. Without hesitation, it’s now my favorite Rae Lloyd book.
It’s difficult to put into words the emotional impact this story had on me. It didn’t simply move me—it broke me open. Never in all my years of reading have I felt so deeply understood by a book. There were moments I had to set my Kindle aside because it felt as though Rae had reached into my mind, gathered my most private fears and guarded thoughts, and placed them gently—yet achingly—onto the page.
The vulnerability woven throughout this story is extraordinary. It bravely explores the darkest parts of the human experience, yet it never abandons you there. Instead, it takes your hand and leads you, steadily and compassionately, toward the light.
I already know If You’re Reading This is a forever book for me. It’s the one I’ll return to on difficult days. It will remain a source of comfort for years—maybe decades—because while it shattered me, it also rebuilt me with hope.
I’ll start by ignoring the rating scale altogether. Five stars don’t come close to capturing what Rae has done here. This is a clear, undeniable six-star read—stunning, unflinching, and profoundly life-changing.
My heart ached for Danny from the very first pages. Rae reveals just enough about his childhood to help readers understand the roots of his struggles without delving into anything gratuitous. His pain, confusion, and deep sense of unworthiness feel raw and remarkably authentic.
And Iris—she was an absolute highlight. She steps into Danny’s life as his Life Coach, but what grows between them becomes something far more profound. With a gentle but steady hand, she challenges the way he sees himself, nudging him from simply existing toward truly living. Watching that transformation unfold was powerful and deeply moving.
As much as I’ve cherished your previous novels, If You’re Reading This stands apart. It’s on an entirely different level. This is your masterpiece. Without hesitation, it’s now my favorite Rae Lloyd book.
It’s difficult to put into words the emotional impact this story had on me. It didn’t simply move me—it broke me open. Never in all my years of reading have I felt so deeply understood by a book. There were moments I had to set my Kindle aside because it felt as though Rae had reached into my mind, gathered my most private fears and guarded thoughts, and placed them gently—yet achingly—onto the page.
The vulnerability woven throughout this story is extraordinary. It bravely explores the darkest parts of the human experience, yet it never abandons you there. Instead, it takes your hand and leads you, steadily and compassionately, toward the light.
I already know If You’re Reading This is a forever book for me. It’s the one I’ll return to on difficult days. It will remain a source of comfort for years—maybe decades—because while it shattered me, it also rebuilt me with hope.
Review of advance copy received from Author
“If You’re Reading This” by Rae Lloyd is a powerful, compassionate exploration of survival and healing in the aftermath of profound trauma. Through unflinching honesty and deeply human storytelling, it confronts the long shadows cast by childhood sexual abuse, chronic isolation, and the quiet, exhausting battle with self-worth a victim can experience. Rae does not sanitize or sugar coat the most difficult parts of trauma. Death wishes, numbness, and the belief of being fundamentally unlovable are all laid bare in exceptional detail but the narrative never feels exploitative or sensationalist. Instead, it feels brave and vulnerable.
What makes this book extraordinary is its frankness and balance. The darkness is real and heavy, yet it is met with moments of tenderness, clarity, and even unexpected beauty. Healing is portrayed not as a neat, linear journey, but as a messy, uneven process marked by setbacks, small victories, and self-compassion. The writing invites the reader into that process, offering a sense of being seen and understood without judgment. Of all Rae’s books, this is most beautifully written. For anyone who has felt alone inside their pain, this book offers quiet companionship.
Ultimately, this is a story about reclaiming life. It shows how learning to love oneself and others after trauma can feel foreign, frightening, and even undeserved, yet still possible. Joy returns not as a sudden revelation, but as something gently rediscovered in fragments: connection, meaning, and the courage to keep going. This book does not promise easy answers, but it does offer something far more valuable. It offers a chance at hope. It explores the belief that a person is never too far down a self-destructive path to discover redemption. It is an incredibly moving read that will stay with you long after the final page.
What makes this book extraordinary is its frankness and balance. The darkness is real and heavy, yet it is met with moments of tenderness, clarity, and even unexpected beauty. Healing is portrayed not as a neat, linear journey, but as a messy, uneven process marked by setbacks, small victories, and self-compassion. The writing invites the reader into that process, offering a sense of being seen and understood without judgment. Of all Rae’s books, this is most beautifully written. For anyone who has felt alone inside their pain, this book offers quiet companionship.
Ultimately, this is a story about reclaiming life. It shows how learning to love oneself and others after trauma can feel foreign, frightening, and even undeserved, yet still possible. Joy returns not as a sudden revelation, but as something gently rediscovered in fragments: connection, meaning, and the courage to keep going. This book does not promise easy answers, but it does offer something far more valuable. It offers a chance at hope. It explores the belief that a person is never too far down a self-destructive path to discover redemption. It is an incredibly moving read that will stay with you long after the final page.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 29, 2026
“𝙄𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙤𝙬, 𝙄’𝙙 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙚. 𝙄𝙩 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧. 𝙏𝙤 𝙢𝙚.”
📝 𝗜𝗳 𝗬𝗼𝘂’𝗿𝗲 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 📝
✍🏼 ʀᴀᴇ ʟʟᴏʏᴅ | @raelloydwrites
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“𝙏𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙬𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙. 𝙃𝙤𝙬 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙩𝙘𝙝 𝙥𝙚𝙤𝙥𝙡𝙚 𝙙𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙫𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙞𝙩 𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙩𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩.”
This book hurt my feelings.
It really got me thinking about something so simple that we all say we do, but don’t always do well…listening. Not just hearing someone, but actually being present. Asking a question and caring enough to stay for the answer. This story leans into that in a way that hit me hard.
Danny…he’s been through literal hell and he’s just tired. The way he keeps pushing himself closer and closer to the edge, and then putting it out there for the world to see? It’s a lot. But what really got me was the reactions. The comments. It makes you pause and think about how you show up online, what you say, what you ignore, and how easy it is to forget there’s a real person on the other side of the screen.
And Iris…𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙄𝙧𝙞𝙨. I LOVED her. She shows up. Every time. In the ways Danny needs, even when he fights it. Y’all know I’m picky with FMCs, and she’s easily one of my favorites. There’s just something about her that feels steady and genuine. Like if more people moved through life the way she does, things would look very different.
This book just…makes you think. About how you interact with people, both online and in real life. About the power of actually listening and being there for someone. Because sometimes that’s all it takes to change the course of someone’s day…or more than that.
⚠️ 𝘚𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥. 𝘚𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘧𝘦𝘸 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴, 𝘴𝘰 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘴𝘸𝘪𝘱𝘦 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘪𝘥 𝘲𝘶𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘴.
🪼 Angst
🪼 Mental Health Rep
🪼 Dual Timeline
🪼Male POV
🪼 Friends For Life
🪼 Texting Banter
🪼 Vulnerable MMC
📝 𝗜𝗳 𝗬𝗼𝘂’𝗿𝗲 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 📝
✍🏼 ʀᴀᴇ ʟʟᴏʏᴅ | @raelloydwrites
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“𝙏𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙬𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙. 𝙃𝙤𝙬 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙩𝙘𝙝 𝙥𝙚𝙤𝙥𝙡𝙚 𝙙𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙫𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙞𝙩 𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙩𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩.”
This book hurt my feelings.
It really got me thinking about something so simple that we all say we do, but don’t always do well…listening. Not just hearing someone, but actually being present. Asking a question and caring enough to stay for the answer. This story leans into that in a way that hit me hard.
Danny…he’s been through literal hell and he’s just tired. The way he keeps pushing himself closer and closer to the edge, and then putting it out there for the world to see? It’s a lot. But what really got me was the reactions. The comments. It makes you pause and think about how you show up online, what you say, what you ignore, and how easy it is to forget there’s a real person on the other side of the screen.
And Iris…𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙄𝙧𝙞𝙨. I LOVED her. She shows up. Every time. In the ways Danny needs, even when he fights it. Y’all know I’m picky with FMCs, and she’s easily one of my favorites. There’s just something about her that feels steady and genuine. Like if more people moved through life the way she does, things would look very different.
This book just…makes you think. About how you interact with people, both online and in real life. About the power of actually listening and being there for someone. Because sometimes that’s all it takes to change the course of someone’s day…or more than that.
⚠️ 𝘚𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥. 𝘚𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘧𝘦𝘸 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴, 𝘴𝘰 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘴𝘸𝘪𝘱𝘦 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘪𝘥 𝘲𝘶𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘴.
🪼 Angst
🪼 Mental Health Rep
🪼 Dual Timeline
🪼Male POV
🪼 Friends For Life
🪼 Texting Banter
🪼 Vulnerable MMC
Review of advance copy received from Author
What did I just read? 🥺✨
Yep… the waterworks were real with this one.
Quotes I will never forget — “you saved me.” “You’re the first person who truly saw me-really saw me- and didn’t look away. “
If You’re Reading This by Rae Lloyd follows Danny, a man shaped by a deeply traumatic childhood and painful past. He struggles to find a reason to keep going, pushing himself into dangerous, life-threatening stunts as a way of testing fate — almost daring life to give him a reason to stay.
This story doesn’t shy away from the ugly truth of healing. It shows how messy, painful, and raw recovery from trauma can be. At times it hurts to read because it feels so real.
Then along comes Iris — our FMC with a true heart of gold. She doesn’t see Danny as someone broken who needs fixing. Instead, she sees someone worth loving, worth fighting for, and worth showing that life can still be beautiful. She gives him experiences he never had growing up and reminds him that living can mean more than just surviving.
I was absolutely sobbing by the end. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
A five-star read with a stunning, emotional ending that I won’t forget anytime soon. Danny’s story will stay with me for a long time.
This book tackles heavy topics, so definitely check trigger warnings beforehand. I finished it in two days because I simply couldn’t put it down — it keeps you hooked while delivering a powerful message about healing, self-worth, and learning that you deserve to live.
Honestly… I’m still a little speechless. This is a story about finding yourself and realizing your life is worth fighting for — and it’s one you’re going to want to read.
Yep… the waterworks were real with this one.
Quotes I will never forget — “you saved me.” “You’re the first person who truly saw me-really saw me- and didn’t look away. “
If You’re Reading This by Rae Lloyd follows Danny, a man shaped by a deeply traumatic childhood and painful past. He struggles to find a reason to keep going, pushing himself into dangerous, life-threatening stunts as a way of testing fate — almost daring life to give him a reason to stay.
This story doesn’t shy away from the ugly truth of healing. It shows how messy, painful, and raw recovery from trauma can be. At times it hurts to read because it feels so real.
Then along comes Iris — our FMC with a true heart of gold. She doesn’t see Danny as someone broken who needs fixing. Instead, she sees someone worth loving, worth fighting for, and worth showing that life can still be beautiful. She gives him experiences he never had growing up and reminds him that living can mean more than just surviving.
I was absolutely sobbing by the end. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
A five-star read with a stunning, emotional ending that I won’t forget anytime soon. Danny’s story will stay with me for a long time.
This book tackles heavy topics, so definitely check trigger warnings beforehand. I finished it in two days because I simply couldn’t put it down — it keeps you hooked while delivering a powerful message about healing, self-worth, and learning that you deserve to live.
Honestly… I’m still a little speechless. This is a story about finding yourself and realizing your life is worth fighting for — and it’s one you’re going to want to read.
March 3, 2026
This book wrecked me in the most unexpected way.
From the very first chapter, my heart broke for Danny. His mental health struggles aren’t glossed over or romanticized. They’re raw, heavy, and painfully real. Watching how his traumatic childhood shaped his adult battles felt both heartbreaking and important. The way he copes, pushing himself toward the edge through dangerous stunts, almost daring the world to let him disappear, was difficult to read at times. But that’s what made it powerful. It shines such a needed light on mental health awareness and the silent ways people cry for help.
Then Iris enters his life. And she doesn’t try to “fix” him. She sees him. Not just the trauma. Not just the brokenness. She sees the person underneath it all. Their connection is slow, meaningful, and deeply transformative. The way she gently walks alongside him as he begins to confront his pain is beautiful. It’s not a fairytale rescue. It’s healing through presence, patience, and love.
This is not your typical romance. It’s deeper. It’s heavier. It’s about survival, healing, and learning that you are more than what happened to you.
That said, check your triggers before diving in. The themes are intense and emotionally weighty.
I’ve read several of Rae’s books, but this one might be my favorite. She has such a gift for immersing readers in a story so completely that you don’t just read it, you live it. I felt such a strong emotional connection to this one, and even after I finished the last page, Danny and Iris stayed in my thoughts.
A beautiful, aching, and ultimately hopeful read.
From the very first chapter, my heart broke for Danny. His mental health struggles aren’t glossed over or romanticized. They’re raw, heavy, and painfully real. Watching how his traumatic childhood shaped his adult battles felt both heartbreaking and important. The way he copes, pushing himself toward the edge through dangerous stunts, almost daring the world to let him disappear, was difficult to read at times. But that’s what made it powerful. It shines such a needed light on mental health awareness and the silent ways people cry for help.
Then Iris enters his life. And she doesn’t try to “fix” him. She sees him. Not just the trauma. Not just the brokenness. She sees the person underneath it all. Their connection is slow, meaningful, and deeply transformative. The way she gently walks alongside him as he begins to confront his pain is beautiful. It’s not a fairytale rescue. It’s healing through presence, patience, and love.
This is not your typical romance. It’s deeper. It’s heavier. It’s about survival, healing, and learning that you are more than what happened to you.
That said, check your triggers before diving in. The themes are intense and emotionally weighty.
I’ve read several of Rae’s books, but this one might be my favorite. She has such a gift for immersing readers in a story so completely that you don’t just read it, you live it. I felt such a strong emotional connection to this one, and even after I finished the last page, Danny and Iris stayed in my thoughts.
A beautiful, aching, and ultimately hopeful read.
Review of advance copy received from Author
I stepped out of my comfort zone with this one, and I am so glad that I did.
The book is told from the POV of Danny. Danny has had a rough upbringing; his mother had left him, and he ended up in the system, going from foster home to foster home. He spent the most time in the home of a prominent community member and ended up being abused. This left Danny feeling like he was not worthy of love or affection and that he didn't deserve it either.
Fast forward, and Danny is now in his thirties, hating life. He would rather just not be on this earth. He has no one, no friends, no family. He doesn't want to actually commit the act himself, so he decides to complete 20 death-defying acts in hopes that one of them will end his misery. SPOILER ALERT---- They don't! He also chooses to upload each act to YouTube, which earns him a ton of followers, but not one person cares enough to reach out to a man in need of a friend.
Danny does end up making a friend in a roundabout way, and this friend challenges him to see a life coach. After 20 sessions, if Danny's feelings have not changed, the friend will not interfere and will leave Danny to his own devices.
Enter Iris. I adored Iris; she was fun but soft. Caring but not judgmental. She was exactly what Danny needed!
The ending had my heart racing and the tears falling. That is all I am going to give you because you need to experience this one for yourselves. This book made me ponder life and how precious it truly is.
The book is told from the POV of Danny. Danny has had a rough upbringing; his mother had left him, and he ended up in the system, going from foster home to foster home. He spent the most time in the home of a prominent community member and ended up being abused. This left Danny feeling like he was not worthy of love or affection and that he didn't deserve it either.
Fast forward, and Danny is now in his thirties, hating life. He would rather just not be on this earth. He has no one, no friends, no family. He doesn't want to actually commit the act himself, so he decides to complete 20 death-defying acts in hopes that one of them will end his misery. SPOILER ALERT---- They don't! He also chooses to upload each act to YouTube, which earns him a ton of followers, but not one person cares enough to reach out to a man in need of a friend.
Danny does end up making a friend in a roundabout way, and this friend challenges him to see a life coach. After 20 sessions, if Danny's feelings have not changed, the friend will not interfere and will leave Danny to his own devices.
Enter Iris. I adored Iris; she was fun but soft. Caring but not judgmental. She was exactly what Danny needed!
The ending had my heart racing and the tears falling. That is all I am going to give you because you need to experience this one for yourselves. This book made me ponder life and how precious it truly is.
February 17, 2026
Holy crap. This book absolutely wrecked me in the quietest, most devastating, but beautiful way.
Danny isn’t chasing fame, he’s chasing death. Twenty death-defying stunts. Millions of views online. And not one person stopping to ask why. That detail alone? It hit like a punch to the face. Because the scariest part isn’t the danger, it’s the loneliness that he’s hiding.
And then there’s Iris. Sweet, stubborn, beautifully boundary-challenged Iris. A life coach who doesn’t try to fix him with clichés or grand speeches. She just offers time. Twenty sessions. No pressure. No promises. Just presence and reality.
This book isn’t about swoony romance. It’s about survival. It’s about what happens when someone sees past your performance and decides you’re worth fighting for. The tension isn’t “will they kiss?”, it’s “will he stay?” And that emotional weight? Absolutely suffocating.
Rae wrote this with such raw, beautifully broken honesty. The connection feels real. The pain feels real. The hope feels fragile and life altering. I found myself holding my breath in so many places.
It’s tender. It’s heavy. It’s unexpectedly soft in places that matter most.
This isn’t a love story. It’s the story of choosing to live.
My emotions hit every single peak reading this and I do not foresee a recovery happening any time soon.
P.S. Rozanov forever! 💗 (IFYKYK)
💗Thank you so much Rae for sending me this book to read and review! 💗
Danny isn’t chasing fame, he’s chasing death. Twenty death-defying stunts. Millions of views online. And not one person stopping to ask why. That detail alone? It hit like a punch to the face. Because the scariest part isn’t the danger, it’s the loneliness that he’s hiding.
And then there’s Iris. Sweet, stubborn, beautifully boundary-challenged Iris. A life coach who doesn’t try to fix him with clichés or grand speeches. She just offers time. Twenty sessions. No pressure. No promises. Just presence and reality.
This book isn’t about swoony romance. It’s about survival. It’s about what happens when someone sees past your performance and decides you’re worth fighting for. The tension isn’t “will they kiss?”, it’s “will he stay?” And that emotional weight? Absolutely suffocating.
Rae wrote this with such raw, beautifully broken honesty. The connection feels real. The pain feels real. The hope feels fragile and life altering. I found myself holding my breath in so many places.
It’s tender. It’s heavy. It’s unexpectedly soft in places that matter most.
This isn’t a love story. It’s the story of choosing to live.
My emotions hit every single peak reading this and I do not foresee a recovery happening any time soon.
P.S. Rozanov forever! 💗 (IFYKYK)
💗Thank you so much Rae for sending me this book to read and review! 💗
Review of advance copy
I absolutely love, and simultaneously hate, Rae Lloyd. Her ability to write characters that immediately make you care, along with her talent for story telling is a gift. BUT, I curse her every time I read her books. She can make me cry and it's so subtle at times I don't realize it's happening. Then there's the times I find myself full on sobbing...but here's the thing, I don't hate it; and I hate crying. I found it to be a beautiful cathartic emotion, paired with the character.
Beautiful is a word I noticed used in this story and every time, I felt it (sounds strange, but you'll get it). Sometimes authors overuse words and it's obvious it's from lack of better adjectives or "available" words. Not in this story, it's a pattern, almost feeling like the word takes on different meanings based on the context.
Danny is beautifully broken. Buried and pushed down from trauma he never could get past. He's sarcastic and flawed and he's someone we all know.
Iris is special. Her ability to think on her feet and banter in a deadpan way with a smile on her face is something.
I honestly had no idea what to expect going in and I won't say anything because I think that's the best way to read this. I read the blurb and that was my only warning. And the trigger/warning page; not anything to ignore. This story is heavy and hard at times. It has difficult subjects but they're real and if you can read something along these lines, I seriously think you'll enjoy this story.
These two characters and the way this story unfolds is just......well, beautiful.
Beautiful is a word I noticed used in this story and every time, I felt it (sounds strange, but you'll get it). Sometimes authors overuse words and it's obvious it's from lack of better adjectives or "available" words. Not in this story, it's a pattern, almost feeling like the word takes on different meanings based on the context.
Danny is beautifully broken. Buried and pushed down from trauma he never could get past. He's sarcastic and flawed and he's someone we all know.
Iris is special. Her ability to think on her feet and banter in a deadpan way with a smile on her face is something.
I honestly had no idea what to expect going in and I won't say anything because I think that's the best way to read this. I read the blurb and that was my only warning. And the trigger/warning page; not anything to ignore. This story is heavy and hard at times. It has difficult subjects but they're real and if you can read something along these lines, I seriously think you'll enjoy this story.
These two characters and the way this story unfolds is just......well, beautiful.
Review of advance copy received from Author
Twenty dangerous stunts.
Twenty times he hoped he wouldn’t make it.
Twenty therapy sessions to decide if he wanted to keep living.
Danny wasn’t doing those stunts for fame. He was tired. Tired of feeling like he didn’t matter. Every stunt was his quiet way of giving up without saying it out loud. But when his final goodbye letter is sent to Carter by mistake, everything changes. Carter doesn’t publish it. Instead, he makes a deal: twenty sessions with a life coach. One session for every stunt. If after that Danny still feels like life isn’t worth it, the choice is his but he has to truly try first.
Then he meets Iris.
Iris doesn’t treat him like he’s broken. She listens. She asks simple but hard questions. She doesn’t let him hide behind jokes or silence. Little by little, she helps him see that the things he believes about himself might not be true. She doesn’t fix him instead she walks him through the work.
What I loved most is that this story feels real. Healing is not linear, healing is messy, it is uncomfortable and it takes time. But by the end, you can feel the small shift in Danny not because someone saved him, but because he slowly started to see his own worth.
This is a 5 stars book, the author took me through the motions, I cried so much while it🥹. Thank you for entrusting me with this ARC, it is a master piece. Sitting pretty at best book I’ve read in 2026.
Twenty times he hoped he wouldn’t make it.
Twenty therapy sessions to decide if he wanted to keep living.
Danny wasn’t doing those stunts for fame. He was tired. Tired of feeling like he didn’t matter. Every stunt was his quiet way of giving up without saying it out loud. But when his final goodbye letter is sent to Carter by mistake, everything changes. Carter doesn’t publish it. Instead, he makes a deal: twenty sessions with a life coach. One session for every stunt. If after that Danny still feels like life isn’t worth it, the choice is his but he has to truly try first.
Then he meets Iris.
Iris doesn’t treat him like he’s broken. She listens. She asks simple but hard questions. She doesn’t let him hide behind jokes or silence. Little by little, she helps him see that the things he believes about himself might not be true. She doesn’t fix him instead she walks him through the work.
What I loved most is that this story feels real. Healing is not linear, healing is messy, it is uncomfortable and it takes time. But by the end, you can feel the small shift in Danny not because someone saved him, but because he slowly started to see his own worth.
This is a 5 stars book, the author took me through the motions, I cried so much while it🥹. Thank you for entrusting me with this ARC, it is a master piece. Sitting pretty at best book I’ve read in 2026.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Review of advance copy received from Author
Absolutely amazing book.
It's clear that Rae has put countless hours into research for SO MANY topics for this book, and not just surface level either. I'm extremely impressed even though I've read Rae's work before, I still continue to be blown away by the diversity and breadth of skill she has as an author.
As for the story itself, without spoilers, what an emotional rollercoaster. At one point I was staring into my kindle lost for words.
This book really delves into some hard truths a lot of people never venture into and reading it sometimes felt like therapy, entertainment and life lessons all in one.
It's been a long time since a story kept me ok my toes and kept me glued to the couch like this one did!
I feel so extremely privileged to have been able to read this book as some of its lessons will stick with me for a long time.
It may or may not have also given me plenty of new bucket list items :)
If you are in the category of having read the blurb and thought "I don't know if this is for me", give it a try anyway, because amazingly, that is a reoccurring theme of this book and I will certainly remember the lessons of giving things a chance even if they don't sound like my thing initially.
You won't regret it :)
It's clear that Rae has put countless hours into research for SO MANY topics for this book, and not just surface level either. I'm extremely impressed even though I've read Rae's work before, I still continue to be blown away by the diversity and breadth of skill she has as an author.
As for the story itself, without spoilers, what an emotional rollercoaster. At one point I was staring into my kindle lost for words.
This book really delves into some hard truths a lot of people never venture into and reading it sometimes felt like therapy, entertainment and life lessons all in one.
It's been a long time since a story kept me ok my toes and kept me glued to the couch like this one did!
I feel so extremely privileged to have been able to read this book as some of its lessons will stick with me for a long time.
It may or may not have also given me plenty of new bucket list items :)
If you are in the category of having read the blurb and thought "I don't know if this is for me", give it a try anyway, because amazingly, that is a reoccurring theme of this book and I will certainly remember the lessons of giving things a chance even if they don't sound like my thing initially.
You won't regret it :)
January 20, 2026
If Your Reading This- Advance Reader Copy, thank you to the author
5 Stars!
This book was heartbreaking and beautiful. This is a story written from a male POV that takes place during two time lines. Following our MMC Danny who is a suspenseful content creator chasing his next thrill and these thrill chasing adventures lead up to a friend helping with an intervention with meeting a life coach and him agreeing to 20 sessions in hopes to change outlook on life.
This is raw and sad and the author does such a great job taking us into the dark corners of this man’s guarded mind and getting a front row seat to seeing it all unfold as someone working through a scary past that has been buried deep within himself and meeting someone unexpected, who ends up helping him unpack it all and come to the conclusion that maybe being worthy and seen and loved is ok.
This story has themes of depression, ptsd, talks of suicide, healing, love, childhood trauma (check your triggers) GooGoo Dolls Iris comes to mind after reading this book.
This is definitely a story that sticks with you. I think Danny will live with me for a long time.
“Are you alive”….”debatable”
5 Stars!
This book was heartbreaking and beautiful. This is a story written from a male POV that takes place during two time lines. Following our MMC Danny who is a suspenseful content creator chasing his next thrill and these thrill chasing adventures lead up to a friend helping with an intervention with meeting a life coach and him agreeing to 20 sessions in hopes to change outlook on life.
This is raw and sad and the author does such a great job taking us into the dark corners of this man’s guarded mind and getting a front row seat to seeing it all unfold as someone working through a scary past that has been buried deep within himself and meeting someone unexpected, who ends up helping him unpack it all and come to the conclusion that maybe being worthy and seen and loved is ok.
This story has themes of depression, ptsd, talks of suicide, healing, love, childhood trauma (check your triggers) GooGoo Dolls Iris comes to mind after reading this book.
This is definitely a story that sticks with you. I think Danny will live with me for a long time.
“Are you alive”….”debatable”
April 20, 2026
Oh my.... this book was great!
This is a heavy read and it did take me a lot longer to read than usual (personal stuff too). Definitely check trigger warnings with this one! It does deal with mental health, your own mental health comes first ❤️
I feel for Danny and just want to give him a hug and hold him! The trauma he has and what he is doing breaks my heart.
When Iris comes into his life as his life coach she is just there if he wants to talk or not. I like how they both write a list of the little things in life they have never experienced. She starts checking off that list by them going to see a movie....to the mall shopping and even taking Iris out of her comfort zone and went zip lining!!
I like how she approaches Danny and what he needs for himself. He discovered he is great at a lot of things he has never tried.
This book will make your heart break, cry but even put a smile on your face! A book I will definitely be recommending
I received this ARC from the author for my honest review
This is a heavy read and it did take me a lot longer to read than usual (personal stuff too). Definitely check trigger warnings with this one! It does deal with mental health, your own mental health comes first ❤️
I feel for Danny and just want to give him a hug and hold him! The trauma he has and what he is doing breaks my heart.
When Iris comes into his life as his life coach she is just there if he wants to talk or not. I like how they both write a list of the little things in life they have never experienced. She starts checking off that list by them going to see a movie....to the mall shopping and even taking Iris out of her comfort zone and went zip lining!!
I like how she approaches Danny and what he needs for himself. He discovered he is great at a lot of things he has never tried.
This book will make your heart break, cry but even put a smile on your face! A book I will definitely be recommending
I received this ARC from the author for my honest review
January 21, 2026
What do I say? If You’re Reading This was AMAZING! It was raw. It was real. It was life. This is the 4th book of Rae’s I have read. Like the others it did not disappoint. This book totally wrecked me. It broke me. I cried many times. But then it put me back together. It healed me. I felt everything that the characters felt. I felt the brokenness of a grown man when he was a child. He was totally destroyed, abused as a child. He was put back together by the sweetest girl. Their relationship was the purest, most innocent, beautiful thing.
How Danny went through life thinking nobody cared about him or loved him. I am so thankful he found Iris and she was able to heal him.
I don’t know how Rae Lloyd’s mind works. She is amazing at what she does. Her writings are beautiful.
I CANNOT wait to read her next book. I am so blessed and honored to be able to read this book. I would give this book ten stars if possible.
How Danny went through life thinking nobody cared about him or loved him. I am so thankful he found Iris and she was able to heal him.
I don’t know how Rae Lloyd’s mind works. She is amazing at what she does. Her writings are beautiful.
I CANNOT wait to read her next book. I am so blessed and honored to be able to read this book. I would give this book ten stars if possible.
Review of advance copy received from Indie Reviewers
This book hit me hard..
I struggle every single day. I fight off the darkness that clings to me from my past every day. I can never seem to explain what it’s like trying to move on and work through trauma. I know what it’s like to think that the world would be a better place if I wasn’t in it. Just like the character in this story, I never thought I’d make it this far. I never thought I’d find someone who loves me for me and sits with me in my pain. I never thought I’d have two daughters who look up to me. I never thought I’d get the chance to work with teens who are navigating life while trying to process the things they’ve been through.
This book made me feel heard. It made me feel understood. It made me want to continue trying to live. It made me want to tell others to stay! We don’t always see the possibility for good when we’re so deep in our pain, but I can honestly say I’m glad I stay! If you ever need a listening ear my DMs are open!
Just stay. 🫶🏻
I struggle every single day. I fight off the darkness that clings to me from my past every day. I can never seem to explain what it’s like trying to move on and work through trauma. I know what it’s like to think that the world would be a better place if I wasn’t in it. Just like the character in this story, I never thought I’d make it this far. I never thought I’d find someone who loves me for me and sits with me in my pain. I never thought I’d have two daughters who look up to me. I never thought I’d get the chance to work with teens who are navigating life while trying to process the things they’ve been through.
This book made me feel heard. It made me feel understood. It made me want to continue trying to live. It made me want to tell others to stay! We don’t always see the possibility for good when we’re so deep in our pain, but I can honestly say I’m glad I stay! If you ever need a listening ear my DMs are open!
Just stay. 🫶🏻
Review of advance copy received from Author
One of the most interesting and thought provoking books I’ve ever had the pleasure to read. From the very beginning you are taken on a journey of discovery and revelation. A journey that will literally leave your heart broken in so many ways yet so beautifully mended in the end. Danny’s character is so complex in how he is written and so incredibly raw. The writing in this book is absolutely phenomenal. This isn’t a love story in the typical sense, rather a book that makes you reflect on the life you have lived and still have the chance to.
Rae, I am so freaking proud of you for that incredible work of raw emotion and art. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to read your work yet again and sit in the incredible pleasure and privilege of your talent. To say you poured your heart into this would be an absolute understatement. You have a talent and even more so a passion for writing that is truly unmatched. Thank you for taking me on that roller coaster.
Rae, I am so freaking proud of you for that incredible work of raw emotion and art. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to read your work yet again and sit in the incredible pleasure and privilege of your talent. To say you poured your heart into this would be an absolute understatement. You have a talent and even more so a passion for writing that is truly unmatched. Thank you for taking me on that roller coaster.
Review of advance copy received from Author
This book caught me completely off guard.
It follows thirty year old Danny who desperately wants to die but refuses to take his own life. Instead, he throws himself extremely dangerous situations just to see if fate will finish the job. And every single time, he survives.
What sounds reckless on the surface is actually deeply emotional and eye opening. His pain feels real. His exhaustion feels real. When a friend blackmails him into seeing a life coach, the story shifts in a way I did not expect. The connection that forms between them is subtle but powerful, and it slowly becomes the heart of the book.
My only struggle was with the flashbacks. Some of them felt repetitive and slowed the pacing just when the present timeline was getting really good. If there had been one or two fewer, It probably would have been a five star read for me.
Overall, it was a thought provoking and surprisingly moving read that will no doubt stay with me.
It follows thirty year old Danny who desperately wants to die but refuses to take his own life. Instead, he throws himself extremely dangerous situations just to see if fate will finish the job. And every single time, he survives.
What sounds reckless on the surface is actually deeply emotional and eye opening. His pain feels real. His exhaustion feels real. When a friend blackmails him into seeing a life coach, the story shifts in a way I did not expect. The connection that forms between them is subtle but powerful, and it slowly becomes the heart of the book.
My only struggle was with the flashbacks. Some of them felt repetitive and slowed the pacing just when the present timeline was getting really good. If there had been one or two fewer, It probably would have been a five star read for me.
Overall, it was a thought provoking and surprisingly moving read that will no doubt stay with me.
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