Jumping to the End: A Lifetime Struggle with Mental Illness and Alcoholism: A Memoir

by Robert Rickelman

302 pages, Hardcover

Published May 5, 2026

Reviews

[Summer · Rating 5 out of 5]

“I came to.”

The first words in Robert Rickleman’s memoir, his reluctant awakening in the ICU, are the heart of his story – one man’s harrowing journey toward his own life.

I knew from the first page that I would be doing little else that day, only reading. There are some book that hold you captive, some stories that won’t let go, some stories that insist you stay with them, uninterrupted, fully immersed, and Robert’s story is one of those.

His book in my hands, I cancelled all plans, and devoted myself to a day of spellbound reading.

I did not regret it.

Robert writes about fear, shame, and shattering life choices with a clarity that brings the reader to their knees. A man who admits that he is afraid is, in fact, a man with singular courage.

Robert does not hide from the reader behind fancy language or dense prose.

He strips the fog away and allows himself to be seen.

Fully seen.

In the ruins of his life.

It feels almost wrong to say that you cannot stop reading his book, when it is one fiery mess after another, when it is one man finding, always, new and devastating ways to destroy himself.

Until the reader is bracing, barely breathing, begging the writer to stop…please stop…please… come to.

This is the magic.

You, the reader, don’t merely empathize, you become the family of the addict.

You can’t put the book down.

You can’t walk away.

You can’t leave him.

You must see Robert through the fire, even as you, too, burn.

It is surprising then, to describe this book as deeply life-affirming.

“I came to.”

The words that begin the book.

The words at the heart.

The words that you read toward.

The words that the writer himself, in every word and sentence, walks you toward…

Not only a man but also a writer – of singular courage.

[Nicole Edgeworth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Robert Rickelman’s memoir stands out as a candid and achingly vulnerable account of alcoholism and mental illness. Unlike other memoirs, Rickelman’s work is noteworthy in that it never attempts to soften reality with a false veneer of glamour or romanticism. Here, we do not find equivocations or excuses, but rather raw honesty and a bird’s eye view of one man’s experience through a challenging childhood, the unmitigated pressure of law school, and the ongoing battle against two diseases: Addiction and mental illness, which frequently braid together so one is nearly unextractable from the other.

A highlight of this book is the unvarnished chronicling of Rickelman’s relationships with friends, family, coworkers, and significant others, and the challenge of maintaining these connections while in the throes of these diseases.

The author resists simple explanations or saccharine conclusions. Instead, he leaves us with a deeper understanding of human fallibility, and an account that is as haunting as it is unflinchingly transparent.

[ProfessorPeg · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jumping to the End, Robert Rickleman’s vivid and meticulously rendered memoir of a lifelong struggle with alcoholism and mental illness, chronicles his gradual tumble into a twilight world where many have landed and most remain trapped. Grounded in a childhood with an alcoholic mother and workaholic father, it seems almost inevitable that Rickleman would turn to drink to cope. His life lurches from lost opportunities to homelessness, from anger and despair to suicide attempts, illustrating how easily the nosedive begins and how difficult it is to pull out of. Rickleman’s resolve and courage allows him to stop the spiral just short of the chasm. His harrowing—but ultimately hopeful—narrative offers a promise and a challenge to those in the pincer grip of addiction: “If I did it, you can, too.”
I received an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Sarah Marie Shoulak · Rating 5 out of 5]

Robert Rickelman's memoir, Jumping to the End is not an easy read, especially for those in recovery. His vivid depictions of his life growing up in Chicago in the 70's - 80's illustrate the kind of lifestyle that many may find familiar in members of their own Midwestern families, but also one that few ever walk away from.
His openness and ability to recall details is captivating and although it may trigger similar missteps and relapses, it also reveals the humanity behind the stereotypes that many judge at face value. As a fellow sober person, I can only express how proud I am of his continued sobriety after reading this book.
I was privileged to receive an advanced copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

[Dave Strang · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Jumping To The End, author Robert Rickelman shares an incredibly powerful story of struggle, heartbreak, and inspiration in the face of an addiction's frightening and relentless grip.
The journey is depicted through intricately recalled life events - each one beautifully written with captivating, emotion filled passages that fill you with hope and an urgency to turn the next page.
Heartbreaking cycles of pain accompanied by inspired compassion and commitment from loved ones - this is a remarkable story to experience and an amazing read!
Thank you, Robert, for sharing this!

[Hilary Plattner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jumping to the End is a real pager-turner. Rickelman tells the story of his battle with alcohol addiction and mental illness with clear-eyed honesty and a smooth flow of meticulous detail that draws the reader in, making you care about what happens to him and how he manages to survive. I didn’t want to put it down. I highly recommend Jumping to the End. -- Hilary P.

I reviewed an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.