Success With the Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense

by Suzette Haden Elgin

Demonstrates how to identify, avoid, and defuse verbal attacks, tells how to handle irate customers and manipulative bosses, and describes techniques for improving communication

Genres: Language, Nonfiction, Self Help

300 pages, Paperback

First published June 1, 1989

About the author

Suzette Haden Elgin was an American science fiction author. She founded the Science Fiction Poetry Association, and is considered an important figure in the field of science fiction constructed languages. Elgin was also a linguist; she published non-fiction, of which the best-known is the Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense series.

Born in 1936 in Missouri, Elgin attended the University of California, San Diego (UCSD) in the 1960s, and began writing science fiction in order to pay tuition. She has a Ph.D. in linguistics, and was the first UCSD student to ever write two dissertations (on English and Navajo). She created the engineered language Láadan for her Native Tongue science fiction series. A grammar and dictionary was published in 1985. She is a supporter of feminist science fiction, saying "women need to realize that SF is the only genre of literature in which it's possible for a writer to explore the question of what this world would be like if you could get rid of [X], where [X] is filled in with any of the multitude of real world facts that constrain and oppress women. Women need to treasure and support science fiction." [1]

In addition, she published works of shorter fiction. Overlying themes in her work include feminism, linguistics and the impact of language, and peaceful coexistence with nature. Many of her works also draw from her Ozark background and heritage.

Elgin became a professor at her alma mater's cross-town rival, San Diego State University (SDSU). She retired in 1980.

Reviews

[Lydia · Rating 3 out of 5]

While outdated and uniquely written, I think that understand language blindspots in my life is going to be very helpful. Following completion, I feel the need to review all the tabs I’ve placed throughout the book, and keep this nearby

[A Z · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is in my top shelf section of books. It's one of my favorites.

[Ruth · Rating 3 out of 5]

287 pages. Donated 2010 May.

Hitting back at verbal abuse in typical business situations is likely to be as unrewarding - and dangerous - as boxing with a cactus. But with the communication strategies in this book, you can eliminate every form of verbal abuse from your life.

This book is the fourth in the famous "Gentle Art" series, written by distinguished linguist, businesswoman, and novelist Suzette Haden Elgin. In this volume, she extends her remarkable self-defense tactics against verbal abuse to the business world. Using fully dramatized scenarios that make effective business communications as exciting and suspenseful as a novel, she shows you how to quickly recognize verbal abuse...gently defuse it..and replace it with clear, courteous, effective communication.

[Robin Robboy · Rating 4 out of 5]

On oldie but goodie, this one languished on my shelf for years. Recent struggles with a verbally abusive person in my professional life drew me back to this book. It was very helpful. The Gentle Art system is a very simple and very effective method for recognizing, understanding, and avoiding verbal abuse. My two biggest takeaways are (1) don't take the bait and (2) if a speaker believes what he or she says, there is no lie to detect. The latter neatly draws the line between lies and delusions. Very useful because that line is the point beyond which there be dragons.