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The Forms Must Flow
Resistance is futile… unless you have the proper permit.
The Mindrender Dominion has conquered forty-seven worlds with terrifying precision. Their psychic hive mind ensures absolute unity, flawless efficiency, and total obedience. They do not negotiate. They do not hesitate. They optimize.
But when High Commander Vex'thar leads the forty-eighth conquest against Earth, he encounters a force that defies every algorithm in the Dominion’s The Department of Consumer Experience Management.
Mildred Higgins is not a soldier. She is a career bureaucrat armed with a rubber stamp, a chipped coffee mug, and an encyclopedic knowledge of Roberts Rules of Order. When the aliens land, she doesn’t run—she asks to see their occupancy permits.
As the invasion grinds to a halt amidst endless hold music, DMV queues that distort time, and mandatory sensitivity training for warlords, Vex'thar discovers a terrifying secret buried in Earth’s Deep Archives. Humanity’s inefficiency isn’t a weakness. It is a carefully engineered "brake"—the Manhattan Accord—designed to hold back a species that would otherwise consume the galaxy in a blaze of unrestrained acceleration.
With the Dominion High Command threatening to "glass" the planet just to clear the paperwork backlog, and human systems beginning to fray under the strain, Mildred and Vex'thar must form an impossible alliance. To survive, they must prove that the only thing stronger than perfection is the messy, resilient, and deliberately slow power of the form filed in triplicate.
The Forms Must Flow is a hilarious and heart-wrenching sci-fi satire that What if Red Tape is the only thing saving us from ourselves? Perfect for fans of Douglas Adams, The Office, and anyone who has ever found spiritual safety in a well-organized binder.
The Mindrender Dominion has conquered forty-seven worlds with terrifying precision. Their psychic hive mind ensures absolute unity, flawless efficiency, and total obedience. They do not negotiate. They do not hesitate. They optimize.
But when High Commander Vex'thar leads the forty-eighth conquest against Earth, he encounters a force that defies every algorithm in the Dominion’s The Department of Consumer Experience Management.
Mildred Higgins is not a soldier. She is a career bureaucrat armed with a rubber stamp, a chipped coffee mug, and an encyclopedic knowledge of Roberts Rules of Order. When the aliens land, she doesn’t run—she asks to see their occupancy permits.
As the invasion grinds to a halt amidst endless hold music, DMV queues that distort time, and mandatory sensitivity training for warlords, Vex'thar discovers a terrifying secret buried in Earth’s Deep Archives. Humanity’s inefficiency isn’t a weakness. It is a carefully engineered "brake"—the Manhattan Accord—designed to hold back a species that would otherwise consume the galaxy in a blaze of unrestrained acceleration.
With the Dominion High Command threatening to "glass" the planet just to clear the paperwork backlog, and human systems beginning to fray under the strain, Mildred and Vex'thar must form an impossible alliance. To survive, they must prove that the only thing stronger than perfection is the messy, resilient, and deliberately slow power of the form filed in triplicate.
The Forms Must Flow is a hilarious and heart-wrenching sci-fi satire that What if Red Tape is the only thing saving us from ourselves? Perfect for fans of Douglas Adams, The Office, and anyone who has ever found spiritual safety in a well-organized binder.
265 pages, Kindle Edition
Published December 17, 2025
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