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Five Funerals
Not yet published
Expected 22 Feb 26Jeff Somers, author of popular noir thriller The Electric Church, kicks the door in on the darkly whimsical and macabrely weird with Five Funerals: Choose Your Own Perilous Path—a book that looks at the tongue-in-cheek nihilism of Edward Gorey's The Gashlycrumb Tinies and asks, "What if these kids had a bit more life in them?" What emerges is a book you never knew you wanted to read but won't want to put down.
The graduating class of Bishop Carlbus Prep has a secret.
The Outing Party is a tradition at Bishop Carlbus, a semi-illicit party hosted by a senior student after the annual Outing, a weekend field trip taken by the graduating class every year. In 1995, Amy Keaton is determined to host a legendary Outing Party, but everything goes wrong. Her classmates are rude. Someone seems to be sabotaging her plans. And, as the night goes on, resentment and rage start driving everyone to extremes. The party spins out of control: by the next morning, Amy Keaton is dead, and twenty-five kids have a soul-crushing secret.
In 2015, six Bishop Carlbus Prep alumni—Victor, Kate, Leo, Titus, Ida, and Winnie—gather for the funeral of their old high school classmate Zillah. They soon realize that they are now the sole surviving members of the Class of 1995—everyone else who attended Amy Keaton's Outing Party is dead. And many of those deaths are bizarre and shocking. Sucked dry by leeches. Consumed by mice. Swept out to sea.
The survivors begin piecing together the events of the last two decades, and wonder: Is someone hunting them? Are they next?
And, maybe, do they deserve to be next?
The graduating class of Bishop Carlbus Prep has a secret.
The Outing Party is a tradition at Bishop Carlbus, a semi-illicit party hosted by a senior student after the annual Outing, a weekend field trip taken by the graduating class every year. In 1995, Amy Keaton is determined to host a legendary Outing Party, but everything goes wrong. Her classmates are rude. Someone seems to be sabotaging her plans. And, as the night goes on, resentment and rage start driving everyone to extremes. The party spins out of control: by the next morning, Amy Keaton is dead, and twenty-five kids have a soul-crushing secret.
In 2015, six Bishop Carlbus Prep alumni—Victor, Kate, Leo, Titus, Ida, and Winnie—gather for the funeral of their old high school classmate Zillah. They soon realize that they are now the sole surviving members of the Class of 1995—everyone else who attended Amy Keaton's Outing Party is dead. And many of those deaths are bizarre and shocking. Sucked dry by leeches. Consumed by mice. Swept out to sea.
The survivors begin piecing together the events of the last two decades, and wonder: Is someone hunting them? Are they next?
And, maybe, do they deserve to be next?
- GenresFiction
501 pages, Paperback
Expected publication February 22, 2026
5 people are currently reading
28 people want to read
About the author
Jeff Somers
69 books350 followersJeff Somers (www.jeffreysomers.com) began writing by court order as an attempt to steer his creative impulses away from engineering genetic grotesqueries. He has published nine novels, including the Avery Cates Series of noir-science fiction novels from Orbit Books (www.avery-cates.com) and the Ustari Cycle series of urban fantasy novels. His short story “Ringing the Changes” was selected for inclusion in Best American Mystery Stories 2006, his story “Sift, Almost Invisible, Through” appeared in the anthology Crimes by Moonlight edited by Charlaine Harris, and his story “Three Cups of Tea” appeared in the anthology Hanzai Japan. He also writes about books for Barnes and Noble and About.com and about the craft of writing for Writer’s Digest, which will publish his book on the craft of writing Writing Without Rules in 2018. He lives in Hoboken with his wife, The Duchess, and their cats. He considers pants to always be optional.
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
January 5, 2026
I read an advanced copy on NetGalley and had so much fun! Darkly funny, Five Funerals plays with structure and allows the reader to enjoy the book in whatever suits them. A choose your own adventure but no matter where you go death is waiting.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Thank you to NetGalley for the early copy.
Five Funerals begins with a section entitled “How to Read This Novel.” Essentially, there are footnotes throughout the book that will send you to other parts of the book, which will then send you back to where you were. It is a strange sort of Choose Your Own Adventure, sending you off in different directions depending on your own reading style. For the sake of transparency, I chose to read this book front to back, and read the footnotes whenever they cropped up.
This is a tale about people dying, based loosely on The Gashlycrumb Tinies by Edward Gorey. Five old classmates show up at a funeral for another student from their class, and realize that they are the only ones left of Bishop Carlbus Prep’s Class of 1995. The book then becomes a showcase of all the classmates dying, interspersed with sections detailing the end-of-year outing party where a girl named Amy Keaton died under mysterious circumstances. The party sections end about half way through the book, probably with the expectation that you are jumping around. We never are actually told exactly what happened to Amy, and this lingering mystery sits right alongside Amy’s maybe-maybe-not-there ghost. Whatever happened, the class is irreversibly changed from the experience, and many of the deaths seem more intentional on their part then not.
What I really liked about this book, aside from the unique and horrid ways that many of these frankly nasty people died, was how it uses its format to address memory. A character will remember someone, then the footnote will direct you to that character’s death or a memory of that character before snapping you back to the present. We see the way that memories are brought up, and how it ruptures the straight forward flow of the narrative.
Memory is also used in how the class remembers the outing party from different perspectives and all have different rationalizations for what happened that night. Amy’s ghost, while again never completely confirmed to be a presence, is given power over these people through the strength of her memory. Bottles in the pool is a constant recurring image for many characters, as well as the song playing either over the boom box or through two students in a bad rock band, which adds to the power that these memories hold– they become real again to our characters. Finally, while there are some death chapters that are from the dying person’s perspective, several are presented as people remembering them, like an old college roommate telling the story or a eulogy at a funeral, using memory to try and bring understanding to their death or actions in life when these people know them.
I would recommend for you to read this book by jumping around, as opposed to reading it straight. I’m a bit sad that I missed the opportunity to do this. It showcases this major theme on a meta level that I haven’t seen captured like this in other books I’ve read. If you love a good murder, morbid humor (I’m pleased to report that this book made me laugh several times), or are the type of person to cheer in Friday the 13th when the rotten characters are killed, this is definitely the book for you.
Five Funerals begins with a section entitled “How to Read This Novel.” Essentially, there are footnotes throughout the book that will send you to other parts of the book, which will then send you back to where you were. It is a strange sort of Choose Your Own Adventure, sending you off in different directions depending on your own reading style. For the sake of transparency, I chose to read this book front to back, and read the footnotes whenever they cropped up.
This is a tale about people dying, based loosely on The Gashlycrumb Tinies by Edward Gorey. Five old classmates show up at a funeral for another student from their class, and realize that they are the only ones left of Bishop Carlbus Prep’s Class of 1995. The book then becomes a showcase of all the classmates dying, interspersed with sections detailing the end-of-year outing party where a girl named Amy Keaton died under mysterious circumstances. The party sections end about half way through the book, probably with the expectation that you are jumping around. We never are actually told exactly what happened to Amy, and this lingering mystery sits right alongside Amy’s maybe-maybe-not-there ghost. Whatever happened, the class is irreversibly changed from the experience, and many of the deaths seem more intentional on their part then not.
What I really liked about this book, aside from the unique and horrid ways that many of these frankly nasty people died, was how it uses its format to address memory. A character will remember someone, then the footnote will direct you to that character’s death or a memory of that character before snapping you back to the present. We see the way that memories are brought up, and how it ruptures the straight forward flow of the narrative.
Memory is also used in how the class remembers the outing party from different perspectives and all have different rationalizations for what happened that night. Amy’s ghost, while again never completely confirmed to be a presence, is given power over these people through the strength of her memory. Bottles in the pool is a constant recurring image for many characters, as well as the song playing either over the boom box or through two students in a bad rock band, which adds to the power that these memories hold– they become real again to our characters. Finally, while there are some death chapters that are from the dying person’s perspective, several are presented as people remembering them, like an old college roommate telling the story or a eulogy at a funeral, using memory to try and bring understanding to their death or actions in life when these people know them.
I would recommend for you to read this book by jumping around, as opposed to reading it straight. I’m a bit sad that I missed the opportunity to do this. It showcases this major theme on a meta level that I haven’t seen captured like this in other books I’ve read. If you love a good murder, morbid humor (I’m pleased to report that this book made me laugh several times), or are the type of person to cheer in Friday the 13th when the rotten characters are killed, this is definitely the book for you.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
~~ARC Review~~
First thank you to NetGallery for the Advance copy! It was a pleasure to read this before publishing!
I absolutely loved the concept of this book, it sounded so moody and mysterious. Somers does a great job of creating unique character voices, and keeps humor throughout this dark-themed book. By giving readers the flexibility to read this in whatever order they saw fit, he creates a completely new reading experience. That being said, I am only like 79% sure that I read the whole book.
I thought a few of the footnotes were entertaining, but found myself rolling my eyes when I had to stop mid paragraph and go read another chapter to get the context. I see influences from cult classics like Good Omens, but I didn't really like when Good Omens did the footnote thing, either. I give it points for playing with form for sure. I think the overall structure could have a better flow, and of course this is taking into account the fact that the author outright says you can read it in any order. It is almost a choose-your-own-adventure book! Which to me, interrupts the flow, but can be a vibe if that is what you are looking for.
I wanted to see the remaining characters' reactions to realizing they were the last five. I wanted to see their investigations and theories. Instead, we got more outlandish (though funny) ways to die.
My biggest gripe is that there were just so many characters. I like the influence of the alphabet etc., but it didn't have to stay at 26 characters. It made it hard to remember who did what, who had a wild death and who just had a weird one (not really a spoiler as the premise is all about death...). Plus, with so many characters in a relatively short book, we can't dive really far into the story of each one. I really wanted to love this book, but overall because of the emphasis on expanse rather than depth, it fell short of amazing.
I do think that this could have done with a last round of editing, I found a few small grammar errors. A minor annoyance that took me out, as well as a couple being named Regina and George, which just gave too much Mean Girls.
Overall, if you're in the mood for a dark choose your own adventure, with some of the strangest deaths you can laugh about, pick this up!
First thank you to NetGallery for the Advance copy! It was a pleasure to read this before publishing!
I absolutely loved the concept of this book, it sounded so moody and mysterious. Somers does a great job of creating unique character voices, and keeps humor throughout this dark-themed book. By giving readers the flexibility to read this in whatever order they saw fit, he creates a completely new reading experience. That being said, I am only like 79% sure that I read the whole book.
I thought a few of the footnotes were entertaining, but found myself rolling my eyes when I had to stop mid paragraph and go read another chapter to get the context. I see influences from cult classics like Good Omens, but I didn't really like when Good Omens did the footnote thing, either. I give it points for playing with form for sure. I think the overall structure could have a better flow, and of course this is taking into account the fact that the author outright says you can read it in any order. It is almost a choose-your-own-adventure book! Which to me, interrupts the flow, but can be a vibe if that is what you are looking for.
I wanted to see the remaining characters' reactions to realizing they were the last five. I wanted to see their investigations and theories. Instead, we got more outlandish (though funny) ways to die.
My biggest gripe is that there were just so many characters. I like the influence of the alphabet etc., but it didn't have to stay at 26 characters. It made it hard to remember who did what, who had a wild death and who just had a weird one (not really a spoiler as the premise is all about death...). Plus, with so many characters in a relatively short book, we can't dive really far into the story of each one. I really wanted to love this book, but overall because of the emphasis on expanse rather than depth, it fell short of amazing.
I do think that this could have done with a last round of editing, I found a few small grammar errors. A minor annoyance that took me out, as well as a couple being named Regina and George, which just gave too much Mean Girls.
Overall, if you're in the mood for a dark choose your own adventure, with some of the strangest deaths you can laugh about, pick this up!
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Five Funerals by Jeff Somers
Rating : 4.5 ⭐ rounded up
Format : eBook 💻
Pages : 501
Duration : 9 Days
---------------
Five Funerals, no it's not a straight to video sewual to Four Weddings and a Funeral, though that would be quite funny, no this dark, whimsical, macabre but hilarious create your story of a turning out party gone wrong.
We follow the 25 members of Bishop Caribus Preps graduating class as they attend Amy Keaton's Outing Party where a suitably funny yet tragic death has knocked on effects that reverberates around the (not for long) remaining students.
I normally don't do spoilers and I'm not really going to do so now, however these deaths, though tragic are pretty damn funny. Getting stuck in mud, gorging yourself silly for internet views and ripped apart by bears. Ok maybe not funny as such but these are 25 borderline douchebags and in some cases deserve it, plus they are made up so that's fine right?!?
Some personal stories/accounts of death are tragic, some deserved, some hilarious and some just sad, but no matter what it had me hooked wanting to know what happened to Zillla, the Twins, Kate and the rest.
There is a thought that there is potentially too many characters and the book potentially carries on slightly too long and with the create your own story element making the story slightly disjointed, however this is more than likely my fault as I read from cover to cover (reading all the hilarious footnotes)
But this book will stay on in my mind for a long time, a macabre death crossing my mind and making me smile, maybe I need help
Except Maud Bluth, I'm glad she died
Thank you to Netgalley & Rudan Books for the Advanced Review Copy of this book, though I am grateful for the ARC the words above are my own
--------------
You can find more reviews on my blog here : https://bookshelf018.wordpress.com/
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Rating : 4.5 ⭐ rounded up
Format : eBook 💻
Pages : 501
Duration : 9 Days
---------------
Five Funerals, no it's not a straight to video sewual to Four Weddings and a Funeral, though that would be quite funny, no this dark, whimsical, macabre but hilarious create your story of a turning out party gone wrong.
We follow the 25 members of Bishop Caribus Preps graduating class as they attend Amy Keaton's Outing Party where a suitably funny yet tragic death has knocked on effects that reverberates around the (not for long) remaining students.
I normally don't do spoilers and I'm not really going to do so now, however these deaths, though tragic are pretty damn funny. Getting stuck in mud, gorging yourself silly for internet views and ripped apart by bears. Ok maybe not funny as such but these are 25 borderline douchebags and in some cases deserve it, plus they are made up so that's fine right?!?
Some personal stories/accounts of death are tragic, some deserved, some hilarious and some just sad, but no matter what it had me hooked wanting to know what happened to Zillla, the Twins, Kate and the rest.
There is a thought that there is potentially too many characters and the book potentially carries on slightly too long and with the create your own story element making the story slightly disjointed, however this is more than likely my fault as I read from cover to cover (reading all the hilarious footnotes)
But this book will stay on in my mind for a long time, a macabre death crossing my mind and making me smile, maybe I need help
Except Maud Bluth, I'm glad she died
Thank you to Netgalley & Rudan Books for the Advanced Review Copy of this book, though I am grateful for the ARC the words above are my own
--------------
You can find more reviews on my blog here : https://bookshelf018.wordpress.com/
-----
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Thank you Ruadán books and NetGalley for this arc in exchange for an honest review. A dark diamond in the rough. Told with gritty, unflinching realness this novel brings to light who we really are and how the events in our life shape us, remake us, and break us. But we are all the same in that death comes for us all. It is riddled with hilarious footnotes, great wordplay, and characters so real I thought they would physically reach out of the book and pull me in. The amount of characters did not deter me and found the flow of the book fun and different, because I haven't read a "choose your own adventure" since I was a child.
These stories are not for the faint of heart, if the warning at the beginning about death, addiction, suicide, etc is any indication. But the world is a gruesome place filled with people who have been through things (and deaths) you couldn't possibly have imagined. Now, did I imagine one of those scenarios would be a flashback to the first main character working out her brother-in-law's death while her sister passed out on the couch from too much partying? No, but it was refreshing to read as a lover of the macabre in literature.
If you love an urban backdrop, genuine characters (a lot of them), and a story with ultimate re-readability that doesn't shy away from death and the hardships of life then this one is for you! I'll certainly need more than one gin with a twist to recover from the roller-coaster ride that is "Five Funerals".
These stories are not for the faint of heart, if the warning at the beginning about death, addiction, suicide, etc is any indication. But the world is a gruesome place filled with people who have been through things (and deaths) you couldn't possibly have imagined. Now, did I imagine one of those scenarios would be a flashback to the first main character working out her brother-in-law's death while her sister passed out on the couch from too much partying? No, but it was refreshing to read as a lover of the macabre in literature.
If you love an urban backdrop, genuine characters (a lot of them), and a story with ultimate re-readability that doesn't shy away from death and the hardships of life then this one is for you! I'll certainly need more than one gin with a twist to recover from the roller-coaster ride that is "Five Funerals".
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Thank you NetGalley for the Review Copy!
The premise of this book is that six alumni attend a funeral for one of their former classmates and realize they are the only people left from their graduating high school class. Are they being hunted by someone? Are they being haunted by the spirit of the girl who died at their final senior party? On the surface it's an insanely clever book, taking the well loved simple story of the Gashlycrumb Tinies and making them real life flawed people who still succumb to their Gorey fate but in a new way.
In practice, this book feels meant to be read on an e-reader due to it's reliance on footnotes. The book wants you to skip around putting space between the five funerals of the ones who are left. If you elect not to do that, as I did, you are left with a very very long second half of the book where nothing of "plot" importance happens. The Introduction says there is no wrong way to read the book but I would disagree. You need to read it as "intended" by following the footnotes and reading each alumni in "order" they are discussed by the remaining six people.
If this sounds confusing, it is. Which is tragic because I loved the writing style, I liked how he made each of the characters feel different, which is insane considering how many times the POVs change. I like the mystery of what happened. I like so many parts of the book but the execution just left me staring at the percentage left on my kindle willing it to change.
The premise of this book is that six alumni attend a funeral for one of their former classmates and realize they are the only people left from their graduating high school class. Are they being hunted by someone? Are they being haunted by the spirit of the girl who died at their final senior party? On the surface it's an insanely clever book, taking the well loved simple story of the Gashlycrumb Tinies and making them real life flawed people who still succumb to their Gorey fate but in a new way.
In practice, this book feels meant to be read on an e-reader due to it's reliance on footnotes. The book wants you to skip around putting space between the five funerals of the ones who are left. If you elect not to do that, as I did, you are left with a very very long second half of the book where nothing of "plot" importance happens. The Introduction says there is no wrong way to read the book but I would disagree. You need to read it as "intended" by following the footnotes and reading each alumni in "order" they are discussed by the remaining six people.
If this sounds confusing, it is. Which is tragic because I loved the writing style, I liked how he made each of the characters feel different, which is insane considering how many times the POVs change. I like the mystery of what happened. I like so many parts of the book but the execution just left me staring at the percentage left on my kindle willing it to change.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
I've loved The Gashlycrumb Tinies forever and was fascinated by the idea of this novel. I read it as recommended (following each path as it arrives) and kept my copy of the Gorey book nearby the whole time. This is how I suggest reading Five Funerals, actually. Familiarity with The Gashlycrumb Tinies isn't necessary by any means, but it did enhance my reading experience a lot. Somers doesn't veer from even the strangest demise
Edward Gorey cooked up.
The structure of the novel really replicates the way strands of details and digressions weave their way into stories and memories as we're telling them or recalling them. If you've ever reminisced with a small group about the people you all used to know, the way Five Funerals functions will be familiar.
If you're looking for a bit of absurdity mixed in with some really poignant reflections on friendship and loneliness, and you enjoy rabbit holes and footnotes, I highly recommend Five Funerals. I finished the ARC and then preordered the book.
Reading tip: Have more than one bookmark handy.
Edward Gorey cooked up.
The structure of the novel really replicates the way strands of details and digressions weave their way into stories and memories as we're telling them or recalling them. If you've ever reminisced with a small group about the people you all used to know, the way Five Funerals functions will be familiar.
If you're looking for a bit of absurdity mixed in with some really poignant reflections on friendship and loneliness, and you enjoy rabbit holes and footnotes, I highly recommend Five Funerals. I finished the ARC and then preordered the book.
Reading tip: Have more than one bookmark handy.
January 19, 2026
Five Funerals by Jeff Somers is a brilliant premise rendered in an adequate way. Somers has taken the unfortunate child victims of Edward Gorey’s The Gashlycrumb Tinies and made them into fully-realized, often horribly-flawed people, who may or may not live under a curse. The conceit is that the novel may be read straight through or, using links/directions in the footnotes, like a choose-your-own-adventure style book. There were parts that were wickedly funny and others that were wickedly dull (and arguably too long, honestly). There is also a tonal issue: is this novel meant to be sarcastic and irreverent or reverently solemn? Ultimately, I enjoyed the concept, most of the stories/vignettes, and the writing is top notch overall. Thank you to the publishers and NetGalley for allowing me to preview this book.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
3.5 ⭐
Drawn in by the cover. Stuck around for the dark humor.
Oh, and the unusual way the book was written. Been a long while since I chose my own adventure.
It's probably wrong to find so much death funny, but honestly some of the ridiculous ways these people died, you can't help but chuckle to yourself.
I enjoyed the back and forth in time, revealing more as we went on, as to exactly what did happen at that party.
I found this too be an incredibly fun book, and it's one I'll be buying a few times just for gifting something a bit different.
Thanks to netgalley for the free digital copy.
Drawn in by the cover. Stuck around for the dark humor.
Oh, and the unusual way the book was written. Been a long while since I chose my own adventure.
It's probably wrong to find so much death funny, but honestly some of the ridiculous ways these people died, you can't help but chuckle to yourself.
I enjoyed the back and forth in time, revealing more as we went on, as to exactly what did happen at that party.
I found this too be an incredibly fun book, and it's one I'll be buying a few times just for gifting something a bit different.
Thanks to netgalley for the free digital copy.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
So I love Edward Gorey's work. I was lucky enough to live on Cape Cod before he passed and had the honor of meeting him. His work is....probably not for everyone, but if you like his brand of humor, you will love everything he did.
So I was excited to see this new take on the Ghastlycrumb Tinies. I never thought of them as all knowing each other, but now I can't unsee it! What an ingenious take on this story, bring those well known kids to life and fleshing out their horrific fates. I did also like the "choose your own adventure" style. Been a while, but why did that ever go out of style? LOL
So I was excited to see this new take on the Ghastlycrumb Tinies. I never thought of them as all knowing each other, but now I can't unsee it! What an ingenious take on this story, bring those well known kids to life and fleshing out their horrific fates. I did also like the "choose your own adventure" style. Been a while, but why did that ever go out of style? LOL
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Thank you so much to netgalley and the publisher for the arc of this one in exchange for an honest review!
What a weird book LOL. We follow a graduating class where everyone dies and goes to the funerals. We hop around to the past and there are footnotes throughout. It is also a pick your own adventure type of book.
I liked the concept of this one but it was not my favorite. I think the author was trying to have a dark humor like a series of unfortunate events but it just fell short for me. I think the author had some great ideas but they were not all flushed out.
What a weird book LOL. We follow a graduating class where everyone dies and goes to the funerals. We hop around to the past and there are footnotes throughout. It is also a pick your own adventure type of book.
I liked the concept of this one but it was not my favorite. I think the author was trying to have a dark humor like a series of unfortunate events but it just fell short for me. I think the author had some great ideas but they were not all flushed out.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
hank you NetGalley for the chance to read this for an honest review.
Awk I really wanted to like this 😞 but sadly the style of the book isn’t for me . Nothing gripped my mind I didn’t want to turn the next page.
The book itself isn’t written badly it’s a good premise.
Just not for me
Awk I really wanted to like this 😞 but sadly the style of the book isn’t for me . Nothing gripped my mind I didn’t want to turn the next page.
The book itself isn’t written badly it’s a good premise.
Just not for me
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
I really enjoyed this book! Personally, I really enjoyed the bit the author writes in the beginning explaining how you can read the book multiple ways. I’ve never seen another book with that added. The rest I’ll leave for you to discover on your own! It was a great read!
January 4, 2026
I did not finish this one, no fault of the author just was not my writing style. Please remember this when picking this one on release day.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
I enjoyed the footnotes and choose your own adventure style path of the story. I've always loved Gorey's alphabet of misfortunes, and this was a fun throwback.
Review of advance copy received from Edelweiss+
Intriguing concept and I'm sure it will find its audience, the writing style wasn't for me. I also hope that in the final copy the footnotes are on each page rather than the ends of the chapter.
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews