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You Might Just Make It Out Of This Alive
"Garrett Cook truly amazes me. His imagination is mind-blowing, his prose sings like the sweetest discombobulated sirens, and no matter how far out or strange his stories may get, he has the magical ability to make it all work. To somehow make it all logical."
-Trent Zelazny, author of To Sleep Gently
"There's no way to prepare, no way to protect yourself. Garrett Cook's work has an edge...and it's at your throat."
-Robert Dunbar, Bram Stoker nominee, author of Martyrs and Monsters
"Garrett Cook and Jimmy Plush ain't fluff. Raw and uncut, dealin' out death to the offensive, they preach sledgehammer when they drop hardcore in hardboiled"
-Joseph S. Pulver, Sr., Editor of A Season in Carcosa
"It is one thing to create a world. It is another thing to make it real. Cook's impressive and highly ambitious novel does this admirably."
-Sean Keller, screenwriter Dario Argento's Giallo and Rage (starring Nicholas Cage)
From the Wonderland Award winning author of Time Pimp and Jimmy Plush, Teddy Bear Detective comes a new collection of weird, horrifying, and heartfelt stories.
Featuring:
Re-Mancipator - When zombie Abraham Lincolns start running amuck, John Wilkes Booth, Marilyn Monroe, and other greats from history must save the day!
Dieselpig - The beloved Smiley the Pig is here to save us from the Catholic Church. And he's brought a shit ton of guns!
Brian's Girl - A gorgeous woman arrives one day at a man's door for anonymous sex. It's not a dream come true- it's the beginning of a cult that will change the world.
Plus fifteen more strange and beautiful tales.
-Trent Zelazny, author of To Sleep Gently
"There's no way to prepare, no way to protect yourself. Garrett Cook's work has an edge...and it's at your throat."
-Robert Dunbar, Bram Stoker nominee, author of Martyrs and Monsters
"Garrett Cook and Jimmy Plush ain't fluff. Raw and uncut, dealin' out death to the offensive, they preach sledgehammer when they drop hardcore in hardboiled"
-Joseph S. Pulver, Sr., Editor of A Season in Carcosa
"It is one thing to create a world. It is another thing to make it real. Cook's impressive and highly ambitious novel does this admirably."
-Sean Keller, screenwriter Dario Argento's Giallo and Rage (starring Nicholas Cage)
From the Wonderland Award winning author of Time Pimp and Jimmy Plush, Teddy Bear Detective comes a new collection of weird, horrifying, and heartfelt stories.
Featuring:
Re-Mancipator - When zombie Abraham Lincolns start running amuck, John Wilkes Booth, Marilyn Monroe, and other greats from history must save the day!
Dieselpig - The beloved Smiley the Pig is here to save us from the Catholic Church. And he's brought a shit ton of guns!
Brian's Girl - A gorgeous woman arrives one day at a man's door for anonymous sex. It's not a dream come true- it's the beginning of a cult that will change the world.
Plus fifteen more strange and beautiful tales.
- GenresHorrorBizarro Fiction
256 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2015
2 people are currently reading
55 people want to read
About the author
Garrett Cook
60 books243 followersWinner 1st Annual Ultimate Bizarro Showdown!
Garrett Cook was born in Wenham, Massachusetts July 19th, 1982. There are other details, but they're depressing or banal, with the exception of his haunted birthplace, his struggle with bipolar and a brief, unfortunate cancer scare. Yawn. Garrett Cook's work is far more interesting. He examines crises of faith and conscience through a pulpy,surreal or magorealistic lens to create magical, paranoid worlds that he hopes will entertain, antagonize and endear you. His books Murderland part 1:h8, Murderland 2:Life During Wartime and Archelon Ranch and Jimmy Plush, Teddy Bear Detective are available on Amazon. He is one of the creators and editors of the magazine Imperial Youth Review.
What people are saying about Murderland Part 1: H8
"Perhaps he’s right. Perhaps that meat cleaver is our best hope for salvation. Or maybe he belongs in an asylum. MURDERLAND is a brutally shocking book. Demented. Logical. Disturbing. It can be crudely powerful one moment, tenderly skillful the next, so the reader never knows what’s coming. There’s no way to prepare. No way to protect yourself. Garrett Cook’s work has an edge … and it’s at your throat."-
Robert Dunbar, author of The Shore and Martyrs and Monsters
"The offbeat brilliance of this book will freak your face off-"
Gina Ranalli, author of Mother Puncher, Sky Tongues and House of Fallen Leaves
"I have not read a debut novel this good in a long time (or as far as I could remember)"- Jordan Krall, author of Piecemeal June and Squidpulp Blues
"An intense, satirical and above all entertaining read"- Andersen Prunty, author of Zerostrata and the Overwhelming Urge
"A savage, very original satire that openly mocks the American demigod-like worship of worthless celebrity with a future where despicable murderers become our new focus of adoration. It's as farcical as Swift's "A Modest Proposal," yet no less poignant."-
bravenewworks.com
"Action! Explosions! Hot broads! Garrett Cook is two-fisted Bizarro pulp. I love his stories"-
Jeff Burk, author of SHATNERQUAKE
Garrett Cook was born in Wenham, Massachusetts July 19th, 1982. There are other details, but they're depressing or banal, with the exception of his haunted birthplace, his struggle with bipolar and a brief, unfortunate cancer scare. Yawn. Garrett Cook's work is far more interesting. He examines crises of faith and conscience through a pulpy,surreal or magorealistic lens to create magical, paranoid worlds that he hopes will entertain, antagonize and endear you. His books Murderland part 1:h8, Murderland 2:Life During Wartime and Archelon Ranch and Jimmy Plush, Teddy Bear Detective are available on Amazon. He is one of the creators and editors of the magazine Imperial Youth Review.
What people are saying about Murderland Part 1: H8
"Perhaps he’s right. Perhaps that meat cleaver is our best hope for salvation. Or maybe he belongs in an asylum. MURDERLAND is a brutally shocking book. Demented. Logical. Disturbing. It can be crudely powerful one moment, tenderly skillful the next, so the reader never knows what’s coming. There’s no way to prepare. No way to protect yourself. Garrett Cook’s work has an edge … and it’s at your throat."-
Robert Dunbar, author of The Shore and Martyrs and Monsters
"The offbeat brilliance of this book will freak your face off-"
Gina Ranalli, author of Mother Puncher, Sky Tongues and House of Fallen Leaves
"I have not read a debut novel this good in a long time (or as far as I could remember)"- Jordan Krall, author of Piecemeal June and Squidpulp Blues
"An intense, satirical and above all entertaining read"- Andersen Prunty, author of Zerostrata and the Overwhelming Urge
"A savage, very original satire that openly mocks the American demigod-like worship of worthless celebrity with a future where despicable murderers become our new focus of adoration. It's as farcical as Swift's "A Modest Proposal," yet no less poignant."-
bravenewworks.com
"Action! Explosions! Hot broads! Garrett Cook is two-fisted Bizarro pulp. I love his stories"-
Jeff Burk, author of SHATNERQUAKE
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
August 2, 2015
I must admit Garrett Cook sometimes exhausts me. His writings usually goes at breakneck speed. The imagery is nonstop as well as the sex and violence. A Garrett Cook story is not for the easily offended. Yet the exhaustion is much the same as a roller coaster where you are left with your heart in your throat, your stomach in your mouth and you are screaming, "Let's go again! Again!".
You can't say the author doesn't warn you. The title of his new collection of short fiction is appropriately titled You Might Just Make it Out of This Alive. It is a trip down the literary rabbit hole. The fiction of Garrett Cook has a manic dadaism reminiscent of Manga as drawn by Dali and directed by Bunuel. The strangest stories are crowded with run-away images, like the first one, "Re-Mancipator" where a plague of Lincoln Zombies are hunted down by John Wilkes Booth and Marilyn Monroe. Other stories in the collection that feature this Bizarro overload include "The Adventures of Blackmetal Bjorn and Accomplice Boy...in Technicolor!" " and "Dieselpig". Cook definitely knows how to write catchy titles. Yet while these are fun pieces destined to boil your brain they seem to wear you out quickly. Unlike his almost-a-novel Time Pimp, where he takes time in his manic storm to create a full world, the ideas in these stories speed through without time to simmer, somewhat destroying any nuances. But they are still amazing pieces of strangeness that I highly recommend.
Yet there are some stories in the collection that seem more than flashy comic masterpieces. They show a more nuanced side without sacrificing the weirdness, the sex and the violence. Most of them involve intimacy, often meaning both the pursue and the fear of. which seems to be a constant theme in Cook's works. "Beast with Two Backs" still haunt me. Using the image of the freak show, it explores the merging and ripping of psyches in sex. "Along the Crease" seems somewhat similar and may be my favorite story in the book. It follows a relation that could end the world, as our protagonists are warned of by the angels. How does one respond? Do they become altruistic and ignore their own needs or indulge in an act that will fulfill them while insuring mass destruction? It is a heady story that succeeds through Cook's intense Bizarro style.
The nice thing about the author is, whether he throws out all rules in a psychedelic cartoon smorgasbord or explores those dark and scary corners of our psyches, he is still Garrett Cook. He is unique. Sex and violence permeate every tale and is always part of the Cook landscape. There are plenty of good stories here and just a couple head scratchers. Other tales I like include "The Donor" which disturbs me to review because I have to say "sensitive", "beautiful" and "cannibalism" all in the same sentence. There is also "Hit and Fun" which is sort of like a father and son tale yet sort of not.
The bottom line is that the author knows how to write. He also knows how to scare you and baffle you and revels in doing both in the same story. If Garrett's images and manic writing gets ahead of him occasionally, don't worry. The next story will pull you back in and, if lucky, you might just make it out of this alive.
Four and a half stars.
You can't say the author doesn't warn you. The title of his new collection of short fiction is appropriately titled You Might Just Make it Out of This Alive. It is a trip down the literary rabbit hole. The fiction of Garrett Cook has a manic dadaism reminiscent of Manga as drawn by Dali and directed by Bunuel. The strangest stories are crowded with run-away images, like the first one, "Re-Mancipator" where a plague of Lincoln Zombies are hunted down by John Wilkes Booth and Marilyn Monroe. Other stories in the collection that feature this Bizarro overload include "The Adventures of Blackmetal Bjorn and Accomplice Boy...in Technicolor!" " and "Dieselpig". Cook definitely knows how to write catchy titles. Yet while these are fun pieces destined to boil your brain they seem to wear you out quickly. Unlike his almost-a-novel Time Pimp, where he takes time in his manic storm to create a full world, the ideas in these stories speed through without time to simmer, somewhat destroying any nuances. But they are still amazing pieces of strangeness that I highly recommend.
Yet there are some stories in the collection that seem more than flashy comic masterpieces. They show a more nuanced side without sacrificing the weirdness, the sex and the violence. Most of them involve intimacy, often meaning both the pursue and the fear of. which seems to be a constant theme in Cook's works. "Beast with Two Backs" still haunt me. Using the image of the freak show, it explores the merging and ripping of psyches in sex. "Along the Crease" seems somewhat similar and may be my favorite story in the book. It follows a relation that could end the world, as our protagonists are warned of by the angels. How does one respond? Do they become altruistic and ignore their own needs or indulge in an act that will fulfill them while insuring mass destruction? It is a heady story that succeeds through Cook's intense Bizarro style.
The nice thing about the author is, whether he throws out all rules in a psychedelic cartoon smorgasbord or explores those dark and scary corners of our psyches, he is still Garrett Cook. He is unique. Sex and violence permeate every tale and is always part of the Cook landscape. There are plenty of good stories here and just a couple head scratchers. Other tales I like include "The Donor" which disturbs me to review because I have to say "sensitive", "beautiful" and "cannibalism" all in the same sentence. There is also "Hit and Fun" which is sort of like a father and son tale yet sort of not.
The bottom line is that the author knows how to write. He also knows how to scare you and baffle you and revels in doing both in the same story. If Garrett's images and manic writing gets ahead of him occasionally, don't worry. The next story will pull you back in and, if lucky, you might just make it out of this alive.
Four and a half stars.
March 7, 2015
I finished this book about a week ago and I can’t stop thinking about it. Or it can’t stop thinking about me. I haven’t figured that part out yet.
During a late-night reading session, I experienced a poor man’s Cronenberg body-book symbiosis. This very book pulled itself out of my grip, slowly crawled across my chest and began to push itself inward into my stomach cavity in a brutal act of reverse childbirth or some forcible symbiosis.
It became a part of me. It’s impossible for a book such as this not to. It’s horrific and beautiful, poetic and dangerous, and sexually intense in the way great art always is.
This diverse collection of short stories from Cook is not a light read. It’s so apparent as you work your way through the book (and yes, it’s work – you need to strap that thinking cap on tight, Sally) that he’s a heavyweight with the written word. Each story inspires deep reflection, each page is a subliminal message and every sentence hints at ancient code. This book begs you to unpack it and solve its mysteries.
There is so much more than the story between the covers. There is so much more than what is on the page. Garrett Cook has written with such flourish, passion, and skill that you will suspect that what you are reading and what it actually means are two drastically different things…and by god, one day you will figure it out. Call me when you do. Let’s compare notes.
The book will twist your stomach, your mind and your heart. This might not be a choice for reading on a summer holiday, but if you are looking for something to use for your Master’s Thesis, the dense lyrical colors of Cook’s latest may just be the paint for your palette.
Highly recommended.
During a late-night reading session, I experienced a poor man’s Cronenberg body-book symbiosis. This very book pulled itself out of my grip, slowly crawled across my chest and began to push itself inward into my stomach cavity in a brutal act of reverse childbirth or some forcible symbiosis.
It became a part of me. It’s impossible for a book such as this not to. It’s horrific and beautiful, poetic and dangerous, and sexually intense in the way great art always is.
This diverse collection of short stories from Cook is not a light read. It’s so apparent as you work your way through the book (and yes, it’s work – you need to strap that thinking cap on tight, Sally) that he’s a heavyweight with the written word. Each story inspires deep reflection, each page is a subliminal message and every sentence hints at ancient code. This book begs you to unpack it and solve its mysteries.
There is so much more than the story between the covers. There is so much more than what is on the page. Garrett Cook has written with such flourish, passion, and skill that you will suspect that what you are reading and what it actually means are two drastically different things…and by god, one day you will figure it out. Call me when you do. Let’s compare notes.
The book will twist your stomach, your mind and your heart. This might not be a choice for reading on a summer holiday, but if you are looking for something to use for your Master’s Thesis, the dense lyrical colors of Cook’s latest may just be the paint for your palette.
Highly recommended.
Read
May 7, 2018“Don’t mourn me,” Lincoln said to the theater, “don’t mourn me, because I think I have rabies of some kind and I feel violent and stupid and empty, the world feels emptier somehow. Lincoln loves you, America, so forget Lincoln, forget him!”
Zombie polar bears in Abe Lincoln hats, the internet as Genius Locii, a black metal skinhead and the boy who loves him, two lovers locked in a frightening intimacy, a monster hunter seeking a monster and finding something else. These are some of the more immediate stories that spoke out to me in this criminally underrated collection that is complimented by the author's sage-like benevolence.
His stories always leave a breadcrumb of the human condition to sustain the advanced reader. I understand he devotes his time to editing these days, but I sincerely hope his writing won't take a backseat as a result.
Zombie polar bears in Abe Lincoln hats, the internet as Genius Locii, a black metal skinhead and the boy who loves him, two lovers locked in a frightening intimacy, a monster hunter seeking a monster and finding something else. These are some of the more immediate stories that spoke out to me in this criminally underrated collection that is complimented by the author's sage-like benevolence.
His stories always leave a breadcrumb of the human condition to sustain the advanced reader. I understand he devotes his time to editing these days, but I sincerely hope his writing won't take a backseat as a result.
March 27, 2015
Full disclosure: I’m not a fan of Bizarro. But that actually makes the fact that I liked this book such a surprising thing.
Cook seems to have a very clear idea of the mood he wants his stories to evoke. "Dieselpig," is told in the style of an old fashioned newsreel and/or sports broadcast, which moves the reader along quite quickly and gets them involved in what’s going on without letting us linger on the unabashed weirdness of it all. Likewise, "The Man In The Film Noir Hat" evokes the mystery and sultriness of the Noir style in a story about a man who really isn’t that good at his job.
Many stories come across almost as a type of bait and switch which Cook uses to masterful effect when dealing with emotions. Never once does he lose track of the fact that, however weird things may get in his stories, the weird things are happening to people who have to cope with them somehow. A marvelous example of this is "The Adventures Of Blackmetal Bjorn And Accomplice Boy." The playful title leaves you unprepared for the gut wrenching story of a bullied boy pushed too far. He even adds this touch to a place where it can be woefully lacking in the Lovecraftian Mythos story "Having Set Out To Be Vanquished." The Elder Gods become the tool of a man seeking a purpose for his life, only to be left questioning what it was he really wanted in the first place.
Cook has a gift for leading you into unexpected places and showing you genuine meaning in the strangeness. That’s what makes the stories in this collection stick with you after you put the book down.
Cook seems to have a very clear idea of the mood he wants his stories to evoke. "Dieselpig," is told in the style of an old fashioned newsreel and/or sports broadcast, which moves the reader along quite quickly and gets them involved in what’s going on without letting us linger on the unabashed weirdness of it all. Likewise, "The Man In The Film Noir Hat" evokes the mystery and sultriness of the Noir style in a story about a man who really isn’t that good at his job.
Many stories come across almost as a type of bait and switch which Cook uses to masterful effect when dealing with emotions. Never once does he lose track of the fact that, however weird things may get in his stories, the weird things are happening to people who have to cope with them somehow. A marvelous example of this is "The Adventures Of Blackmetal Bjorn And Accomplice Boy." The playful title leaves you unprepared for the gut wrenching story of a bullied boy pushed too far. He even adds this touch to a place where it can be woefully lacking in the Lovecraftian Mythos story "Having Set Out To Be Vanquished." The Elder Gods become the tool of a man seeking a purpose for his life, only to be left questioning what it was he really wanted in the first place.
Cook has a gift for leading you into unexpected places and showing you genuine meaning in the strangeness. That’s what makes the stories in this collection stick with you after you put the book down.
August 27, 2015
Garrett Cook's writing is something that escapes my comprehension at times. Trying to put the sensation of reading the craziest of things at such a breakneck pace where nothing seems unreasonable into words is something that I really cannot accomplish. There was a cacophony of violence and sex but at the same time it felt like it fit, it wasn't jerky or stilted, he made things seemed like they were just normal activities. In addition to that aspect, I also appreciated the dramatic touches at different places. In the Wounded Hog story for example it's framed almost like a silent film where something will happen and then there's almost a cue card that comes up and they play off one another. I really enjoyed this, and would strongly recommend it to anyone with an open mind, and I don't just mean a garden variety open mind, you'd have to be able to accept anything and completely suspend disbelief to get everything out of it as possible. That's probably a decent guideline for anyone reading anything bizarro however.
Read
April 11, 2015Let me say that I mostly enjoy horror but I am certainly no stranger to the weird, gruesome, disturbing and macabre. Which is probably what drew me to this book. I have read many books and up until this point I have sort of prided myself on the fact that as awful or unbearable a book has been I have somehow managed to plow through and finish it.
Unfortunately, the same can not be said about this particular book. It started off really confusing and kind of funny in its strangeness, but it quickly became so absurd and deranged that I dreaded picking it up to read it. I won't rate it because I didn't finish it. Maybe it will be a book that I will pick up again one day with a fresh perspective and a better idea of what I'm getting myself into.
But that day is not today.
Unfortunately, the same can not be said about this particular book. It started off really confusing and kind of funny in its strangeness, but it quickly became so absurd and deranged that I dreaded picking it up to read it. I won't rate it because I didn't finish it. Maybe it will be a book that I will pick up again one day with a fresh perspective and a better idea of what I'm getting myself into.
But that day is not today.
Read
April 9, 2015I am all for ridiculous and absurdity in my books but this one takes the cake. Unfortunately I do not mean this in a good way. The first story yielded some laughs and some other stories had the occasional line I thought to be funny, but the book is so over the top that I couldn't even bring myself to finish it. The whole zany shtick gets old almost immediately. If it was maybe only the first story I could possibly have enjoyed it, but it is way too long of a book for this writing style. I don't know, maybe I just don't 'get it'?
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews