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Apariciones
Violence was his first language.
A nameless Deaf teen escapes his father's basement after years of imprisonment. Bloody, alone, and without language, he stumbles through the Saskatchewan prairies and lands in a psychiatric facility, where he meets Felix, another Deaf teen. Felix—cunning and ambitious—teaches the nameless narrator Sign Language and begins to mold the abused teen's mind. But mold into what?
A nameless Deaf teen escapes his father's basement after years of imprisonment. Bloody, alone, and without language, he stumbles through the Saskatchewan prairies and lands in a psychiatric facility, where he meets Felix, another Deaf teen. Felix—cunning and ambitious—teaches the nameless narrator Sign Language and begins to mold the abused teen's mind. But mold into what?
332 pages, Paperback
First published September 19, 2023
About the author
Adam Pottle
10 books24 followersAdam Pottle's work spans multiple genres, from fiction and poetry to drama and creative nonfiction. His books include the novel Mantis Dreams, the novella The Bus, the memoir Voice, and the poetry collection Beautiful Mutants.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 87 reviews
May 4, 2024
4.0 Stars
Video Review https://youtu.be/dFyDuswyDnc
As someone eternally fascinated by kidnapping fiction, this book was made for me. I was immediate drawn into this dark narrative. The story was quite bleak in places and I couldn't look away.
The writing was gripping. The only aspect I didn't love was the non traditional narrative pieces, but that's more of a personal preference.
In many ways, this is more of character study than a traditional horror story. The inclusion of the deaf characters brought an interesting perspective to the narrative.
I really enjoyed this one and would highly recommend to readers looking for a story that is sharp and haunting.
Video Review https://youtu.be/dFyDuswyDnc
As someone eternally fascinated by kidnapping fiction, this book was made for me. I was immediate drawn into this dark narrative. The story was quite bleak in places and I couldn't look away.
The writing was gripping. The only aspect I didn't love was the non traditional narrative pieces, but that's more of a personal preference.
In many ways, this is more of character study than a traditional horror story. The inclusion of the deaf characters brought an interesting perspective to the narrative.
I really enjoyed this one and would highly recommend to readers looking for a story that is sharp and haunting.
Read
August 20, 2023N.B. I do not rate on Goodreads. That said, I'm adding this one straight to my 'Best reads of 2023' shelf, so I guess that speaks for itself. In fact, this book will stay with me long after 2023 is over.
It's the kind of book that makes you want to shout from the rooftop, like: "Hey, everyone! If you have a heart, you MUST read this book, though don't be surprised if it destroys some small part of you."
I don't intend to delve into the plot, but I will say this: You MUST read the author's notes at the beginning of the book because they set the context for the story that follows.
The book is written partly in epistolary form, and these documents provide a wider context to the plot.
If the novel fails to move you, then you simply have no heart. I'm no softie when it comes to fiction or film, and very rarely will something move me to tears. This is not a sentimental story, it is far bigger than that, but it will move you, I promise.
The fact that the main character is deaf only serves to draw you in deeper. The narrator invites you into the world of the deaf. He makes you see things through his perspective. Forces you to consider just how confusing the simplest things can be for someone with any sensory impairment. But this narrator is not just deaf, he is a sufferer of abuse too, and that abuse is so horrific, so traumatic, that you wonder how someone like him could survive. It also makes you realize just how easily someone in his position could be manipulated, and that becomes apparent as the story progresses.
Final thoughts: unique, compelling, claustrophobic, breathtaking, anxiety inducing (in the best possible way).
A quote from the novel: Most people speak in ghosts-you can't see their words, only the shape of their lips. Our language we can see. The language of beauty and love.
In other words, add this to your TBR now. You won't regret it.
It's the kind of book that makes you want to shout from the rooftop, like: "Hey, everyone! If you have a heart, you MUST read this book, though don't be surprised if it destroys some small part of you."
I don't intend to delve into the plot, but I will say this: You MUST read the author's notes at the beginning of the book because they set the context for the story that follows.
The book is written partly in epistolary form, and these documents provide a wider context to the plot.
If the novel fails to move you, then you simply have no heart. I'm no softie when it comes to fiction or film, and very rarely will something move me to tears. This is not a sentimental story, it is far bigger than that, but it will move you, I promise.
The fact that the main character is deaf only serves to draw you in deeper. The narrator invites you into the world of the deaf. He makes you see things through his perspective. Forces you to consider just how confusing the simplest things can be for someone with any sensory impairment. But this narrator is not just deaf, he is a sufferer of abuse too, and that abuse is so horrific, so traumatic, that you wonder how someone like him could survive. It also makes you realize just how easily someone in his position could be manipulated, and that becomes apparent as the story progresses.
Final thoughts: unique, compelling, claustrophobic, breathtaking, anxiety inducing (in the best possible way).
A quote from the novel: Most people speak in ghosts-you can't see their words, only the shape of their lips. Our language we can see. The language of beauty and love.
In other words, add this to your TBR now. You won't regret it.
January 5, 2025
Can you imagine to be born deaf and unable to communicate, even with signs? No one has ever taught you before.
What would it be to be isolated, unloved, neglected…Probably you have never felt this way before but Adam Pottle is about to share.
Our nameless deaf main character escapes from the imprisonment he has been living for a long time and ends up in a psychiatric institution, where he’s going to meet his bestie Felix, and together their journey begins: abuse, love, sex, injustices, naivety, queer relationships.
Do you want to join them? Come on in.
This is how the big fish eats the small one.
My impressions: wonderful start but uneven development. Too many descriptions over unimportant details forgetting about the main story.
I could classify this as human horror.
I thank you BookSirens @booksirens for giving me an advance review copy for free.
What would it be to be isolated, unloved, neglected…Probably you have never felt this way before but Adam Pottle is about to share.
Our nameless deaf main character escapes from the imprisonment he has been living for a long time and ends up in a psychiatric institution, where he’s going to meet his bestie Felix, and together their journey begins: abuse, love, sex, injustices, naivety, queer relationships.
Do you want to join them? Come on in.
This is how the big fish eats the small one.
My impressions: wonderful start but uneven development. Too many descriptions over unimportant details forgetting about the main story.
I could classify this as human horror.
I thank you BookSirens @booksirens for giving me an advance review copy for free.
September 28, 2023
Wow, this book wrecked me. I've been putting off writing this review because I don't really know how to say what Apparitions made me feel. It's sad and beautiful, and powerful.
Throughout the book you are in the main character's head as he discovers the world and interacts with it for the first time. He's scared, he doesn't know how to communicate. His perspective on life comes from a place of darkness and violence, and everything is new. The narration can be a little disorienting in parts, but it feels purposeful. The writing is spectacular.
I loved experiencing the world from someone else's perspective. For example, the first time he sees a man with tattoos, he "wonder[s] if they had grown out of him like freckles and if pictures would grow out of [himself] too." But we also experienced a life of tragedy and isolation from that perspective, and that was difficult to read.
I think Apparitions is an important book. It doesn't portray Deafness as a disability, or something that needs to be fixed. Instead it does show the tragic effects that language deprivation has on an individual, and expresses the importance of communication and kindness.
TW for child abuse, sexual assault, bullying, gaslighting, animal cruelty.
Throughout the book you are in the main character's head as he discovers the world and interacts with it for the first time. He's scared, he doesn't know how to communicate. His perspective on life comes from a place of darkness and violence, and everything is new. The narration can be a little disorienting in parts, but it feels purposeful. The writing is spectacular.
I loved experiencing the world from someone else's perspective. For example, the first time he sees a man with tattoos, he "wonder[s] if they had grown out of him like freckles and if pictures would grow out of [himself] too." But we also experienced a life of tragedy and isolation from that perspective, and that was difficult to read.
I think Apparitions is an important book. It doesn't portray Deafness as a disability, or something that needs to be fixed. Instead it does show the tragic effects that language deprivation has on an individual, and expresses the importance of communication and kindness.
TW for child abuse, sexual assault, bullying, gaslighting, animal cruelty.
April 20, 2026
Imagina que eres un niño sordo, con una madre drogadicta que no es capaz de hacer nada por ti, y con un padre desaparecido que solo aparece para llevarte a la fuerza, secuestrarte y meterte en un sótano.
Un niño al que nunca enseñaron el lenguaje de signos para poder comunicarse y que solo conoce lo que hay dentro de esas cuatro paredes.
Por ciertas circunstancias conoce a otro adolescente sordo y aprende a comunicarse y desenvolverse, pero esto para nada será una liberación, pasa a quedar “prisionero” de un enfermo mental que lo aísla aun mas.
Un libro que me ha sorprendido ya que el autor sumerge al lector en un mundo muy desconocido, despierta empatía y hasta provoca sensación de aislamiento por la manera en la que esta escrito.
Una historia que muestra que la mayoría de las personas no sabemos lo que es estar privados del lenguaje y de lo necesario que en nuestro día a día.
Un niño al que nunca enseñaron el lenguaje de signos para poder comunicarse y que solo conoce lo que hay dentro de esas cuatro paredes.
Por ciertas circunstancias conoce a otro adolescente sordo y aprende a comunicarse y desenvolverse, pero esto para nada será una liberación, pasa a quedar “prisionero” de un enfermo mental que lo aísla aun mas.
Un libro que me ha sorprendido ya que el autor sumerge al lector en un mundo muy desconocido, despierta empatía y hasta provoca sensación de aislamiento por la manera en la que esta escrito.
Una historia que muestra que la mayoría de las personas no sabemos lo que es estar privados del lenguaje y de lo necesario que en nuestro día a día.
September 10, 2023
An incredibly raw read in the sense of its emotionality. This is a book focusing on trauma, injustice, accessibility, resource, and about a world made unequal and does not understand. Its centres on courage, overcoming, vulnerability, misunderstandings, strength and fear, love and abuse, violence and desire. It is about stepping out of the only world the MC thought existed and is reminiscent of ROOM. There is tragedy, there are horrifics, but also is also unbound beauty.
Above all, there is a through line of what it means to have, receive, and give love.
*Do check be weary of the trigger warnings as there are quite a few and scenes do get brutal
A big thank you to Dark Hart Books and Sadie for an ARC!
Above all, there is a through line of what it means to have, receive, and give love.
*Do check be weary of the trigger warnings as there are quite a few and scenes do get brutal
A big thank you to Dark Hart Books and Sadie for an ARC!
June 6, 2024
This book was absolutely heartbreaking and is written beautifully. The horrific things the narrator endures were hard to read and often made me cry. The author put it into words perfectly, “even when we endure the ugliest, most gruesome horrors, we can still find small pockets of beauty in this world.”
October 7, 2023
Imagine being a young deaf boy, sheltered from the world by a druggie mother who tries to do her best for you but fails miserably. Imagine your estranged father coming to drag you away, kidnapping you, and locking you away in a basement room with a light that never turns off and only a dirty mattress and bucket to piss and shit in. No one ever taught you to sign, to communicate. No one ever taught you anything. All you know is what's inside those concrete walls with you. And the dogs. You also know the dogs. The ones they make you fight, fight and kill before they kill you. Until one night, you are dragged out of the room and into the yard and made to stand by a hole that was dug just for you. Your father with a gun to the back of your head, and you running suddenly, running for your life. Escaping one hell just to be plunged into another. Only you don't know this new place is hell. Not yet. You'll learn that later, after you escape from there too.
A dark, horrifying look at longterm child abuse and trauma, deafness, sexual exploration, and the cult-like manipulation of someone who appears to be your savior but who instead becomes just another kind of captor.
A dark, horrifying look at longterm child abuse and trauma, deafness, sexual exploration, and the cult-like manipulation of someone who appears to be your savior but who instead becomes just another kind of captor.
October 5, 2023
"My first language wasn't Sign. It was violence. When they spoke to me — when anyone speaks to me — they speak in ghosts. That's what words are. We don't see them, but we feel them."
Many of us don't know what it's like to be deprived of language, but the main character of 'Apparitions' does — which means he's also deprived of love, knowledge, understanding, and the ability to process what goes on around him, and in people's minds. With the Deaf teenager having grown up in an extremely abusive and neglectful household, his purview finally broadens when he meets another fellow Deaf teenager, Felix, at the mental institution he's placed in. Learning Sign Language changes everything for him, and Felix does too. But with Felix's past, the tool that the nameless teen has acquired to communicate and navigate the world becomes a wrench for Felix to twist and pull to revolve around his own ambitions.
Adam Pottle deftfully uses language, including Sign Language and epistolary excerpts such as reports and diary entries to guide us through both Felix and his companion's trajectory of having to process their own trauma. Felix's diary entries can often be erratic, angry (often justly so), not entirely comprehensive, especially as a child. As he grows older, he sounds more coherent and philosophizes his goals using his Biblical views — yet his more clear-cut goals open up an unexpected side of his friend. The varying narration techniques might be a little jarring at first, but they make more sense as the book progresses. I appreciate the seemingly complex dynamics between the two; in a place where you feel alone and have but one bond with someone, their suffocating inferno can be mistaken as the sunshine that leads you to the prairies.
The author's ability to give life to the characters, whether they're merely envisioning things in their head, or experiencing something for the first time, makes the prose immersive and also emotional. From violence to a multitude of positive and negative emotions, we can see how the teenager gradually becomes a "more rounded" person exuding kindness.
This is definitely one of the most unique books I've read this year, and is a great example of well-thought out and multidimensional disability rep done well.
Thank you Dark Hart Books and BookSirens for the advance copy, I'm leaving this review voluntarily.
Many of us don't know what it's like to be deprived of language, but the main character of 'Apparitions' does — which means he's also deprived of love, knowledge, understanding, and the ability to process what goes on around him, and in people's minds. With the Deaf teenager having grown up in an extremely abusive and neglectful household, his purview finally broadens when he meets another fellow Deaf teenager, Felix, at the mental institution he's placed in. Learning Sign Language changes everything for him, and Felix does too. But with Felix's past, the tool that the nameless teen has acquired to communicate and navigate the world becomes a wrench for Felix to twist and pull to revolve around his own ambitions.
Adam Pottle deftfully uses language, including Sign Language and epistolary excerpts such as reports and diary entries to guide us through both Felix and his companion's trajectory of having to process their own trauma. Felix's diary entries can often be erratic, angry (often justly so), not entirely comprehensive, especially as a child. As he grows older, he sounds more coherent and philosophizes his goals using his Biblical views — yet his more clear-cut goals open up an unexpected side of his friend. The varying narration techniques might be a little jarring at first, but they make more sense as the book progresses. I appreciate the seemingly complex dynamics between the two; in a place where you feel alone and have but one bond with someone, their suffocating inferno can be mistaken as the sunshine that leads you to the prairies.
The author's ability to give life to the characters, whether they're merely envisioning things in their head, or experiencing something for the first time, makes the prose immersive and also emotional. From violence to a multitude of positive and negative emotions, we can see how the teenager gradually becomes a "more rounded" person exuding kindness.
This is definitely one of the most unique books I've read this year, and is a great example of well-thought out and multidimensional disability rep done well.
Thank you Dark Hart Books and BookSirens for the advance copy, I'm leaving this review voluntarily.
January 14, 2024
Such a heartfelt book… Makes me appreciate everything I have!
March 26, 2024
This takes the form of a disturbing memoir, veering towards auto-fiction, and can only loosely be described as horror.
Interestingly, it is written by a deaf author, and concerns a deaf protagonist who narrates much of the book.
For various reasons, it is not an easy book to read; not least, because it has a non-linear timeline, but also because it deals with subjects such as physical, sexual and mental abuse, extreme violence, homophobia, and dated attitudes towards ableism. Indeed, Pottle dealing with these elements show the power of his writing. It is a necessary piece of work.
Set in the 1970s and 80s, the young narrator is unable to express himself or even understand some of the things he experiences, from his days in a school classroom, to an institution that is there supposedly to help him. Only violence resonates. For a lot of the time, he is terrified, and runs away.
There are moments of respite however. As he learns to sign at one institution Pottle’s writing effuses relief and happiness.
I guess that it may fit into the horror genre for some readers as it indicates that the worst monsters encountered in life are often human.
It may be an uncomfortable read, but there is no doubt that it is a vital one, and that debut author Adam Pottle deserves lots of credit, and interest as to what he might come up with next.
Interestingly, it is written by a deaf author, and concerns a deaf protagonist who narrates much of the book.
For various reasons, it is not an easy book to read; not least, because it has a non-linear timeline, but also because it deals with subjects such as physical, sexual and mental abuse, extreme violence, homophobia, and dated attitudes towards ableism. Indeed, Pottle dealing with these elements show the power of his writing. It is a necessary piece of work.
Set in the 1970s and 80s, the young narrator is unable to express himself or even understand some of the things he experiences, from his days in a school classroom, to an institution that is there supposedly to help him. Only violence resonates. For a lot of the time, he is terrified, and runs away.
There are moments of respite however. As he learns to sign at one institution Pottle’s writing effuses relief and happiness.
I guess that it may fit into the horror genre for some readers as it indicates that the worst monsters encountered in life are often human.
It may be an uncomfortable read, but there is no doubt that it is a vital one, and that debut author Adam Pottle deserves lots of credit, and interest as to what he might come up with next.
December 7, 2023
Beautifully written and captivating. A sad and at times darkly sweet story interlaced with disturbing themes of violence and mania.
A horror book featuring a deaf character who has no name and sadly had never felt love. After years of violence and abuse at his father's hands he escapes and lands in an asylum. He finds another deaf boy there who teaches him sign language and how to communicate for the first time in his life. This sets him free somewhat from his internal prison. He also finds beauty and love but it takes a dark twist at the end and free falls into a demented and twisted idea of what could have been something good.
Some of this book is so gut-wrenching and sad and yet so beautiful at the same time. It will sit with me for a long time. I cannot highly recommend this book enough.
A horror book featuring a deaf character who has no name and sadly had never felt love. After years of violence and abuse at his father's hands he escapes and lands in an asylum. He finds another deaf boy there who teaches him sign language and how to communicate for the first time in his life. This sets him free somewhat from his internal prison. He also finds beauty and love but it takes a dark twist at the end and free falls into a demented and twisted idea of what could have been something good.
Some of this book is so gut-wrenching and sad and yet so beautiful at the same time. It will sit with me for a long time. I cannot highly recommend this book enough.
September 14, 2023
This book is like nothing I’ve ever read. The brilliant manner that Pottle brings the reader into a world unexperienced by anyone who was not born deaf is heartfelt, empathy-inducing, isolating, and ratchets up the dread and horror the main character experiences. The narrative voice is one of innocence thrown into trauma, but full of hope as the main character is searching for someone to love him. That innocence in the main character, brought on by the dark context of his family and the horrors that were inflicted on him, kept me rooting for him even as Pottle creates a sense of anxious momentum leading the main character into darker and darker places. He goes from being isolated and caged by his father and his deafness to being imprisoned in a cult of one, led by a mental patient with a Christ-complex that uses a shared deafness and a need to be loved to isolate even more. A deeply flawed world is slowly revealed to the main character and simultaneously to the reader, who gets a small glimpse of what it might be like to learn to navigate a world without the aid of sounds that most of us take for granted. This was a heartbreaking, beautiful, and unique read. The book will be released on September 19, and anyone who is a fan of character-driven, heart-forward horror should pick it up. Highly recommend.
January 24, 2026
[4,5/5⭐️] “Apariciones” es una novela muy dura y perturbadora, de esas que no se leen a la ligera. Aunque pueda parecer terror sobrenatural, lo que realmente da miedo aquí no son fantasmas ni presencias extrañas, sino las personas. El verdadero horror es humano, y eso es lo que hace que la historia resulte tan incómoda.
La novela empieza de forma algo confusa. El estilo narrativo es fragmentado y cuesta entender qué está pasando o hacia dónde va la historia. Sin embargo, esta confusión tiene sentido: acompaña el estado mental del protagonista. Conforme avanzan las páginas, tanto él como el lector van encontrando respuestas y todo empieza a encajar.
La historia se construye a través de distintos tiempos narrativos, informes y fragmentos del diario de Félix, otro personaje fundamental. En el centro de todo está nuestro protagonista, un personaje sin nombre ni identidad propia, cuya historia es especialmente triste. Además, es sordo, y este rasgo no es en absoluto anecdótico: el autor consigue que el lector sienta ese silencio constante y opresivo, un silencio que no protege, sino que aísla y aumenta la angustia. Esa falta de voz, de identidad y de un lugar en el mundo lo convierte en una figura extremadamente frágil.
Es una lectura que se sufre, pero que engancha muchísimo. Tiene escenas extremadamente duras y desoladoras y, aun así, es imposible dejarla. Por muy mal que lo pases en algunos momentos, la necesidad de saber qué va a ocurrir y hasta dónde son capaces de llegar los personajes para conseguir lo que desean te empuja a seguir leyendo sin parar.
“Apariciones” es un relato brutal sobre la obsesión, la pérdida de identidad y los límites morales del ser humano. No es una novela fácil, pero sí muy potente, de esas que dejan huella y se quedan rondando en la cabeza mucho tiempo después de terminarla.
La novela empieza de forma algo confusa. El estilo narrativo es fragmentado y cuesta entender qué está pasando o hacia dónde va la historia. Sin embargo, esta confusión tiene sentido: acompaña el estado mental del protagonista. Conforme avanzan las páginas, tanto él como el lector van encontrando respuestas y todo empieza a encajar.
La historia se construye a través de distintos tiempos narrativos, informes y fragmentos del diario de Félix, otro personaje fundamental. En el centro de todo está nuestro protagonista, un personaje sin nombre ni identidad propia, cuya historia es especialmente triste. Además, es sordo, y este rasgo no es en absoluto anecdótico: el autor consigue que el lector sienta ese silencio constante y opresivo, un silencio que no protege, sino que aísla y aumenta la angustia. Esa falta de voz, de identidad y de un lugar en el mundo lo convierte en una figura extremadamente frágil.
Es una lectura que se sufre, pero que engancha muchísimo. Tiene escenas extremadamente duras y desoladoras y, aun así, es imposible dejarla. Por muy mal que lo pases en algunos momentos, la necesidad de saber qué va a ocurrir y hasta dónde son capaces de llegar los personajes para conseguir lo que desean te empuja a seguir leyendo sin parar.
“Apariciones” es un relato brutal sobre la obsesión, la pérdida de identidad y los límites morales del ser humano. No es una novela fácil, pero sí muy potente, de esas que dejan huella y se quedan rondando en la cabeza mucho tiempo después de terminarla.
October 5, 2024
4.5 Rounded Up
Definitely one of my favorite novels I’ve read this year, and has one of my favorite narrators I’ve had the pleasure of spending time with.
There’s a whole lot of heavy content in Apparitions, and yet, it also so full, thanks to the narrator, of love. Sometimes really messy, manipulated love, but also one that’s just so pure, as well.
Adam Pottle has written a novel that I feel has been sorely lacking in the world because there just aren’t enough stories being published that center people with disabilities and give them the fullness of character they so well deserve.
I loved getting to discover the world and communication and how to tell his story alongside the narrator. And I love how queerness is represented in this book, as well.
So much about Apparitions just feels so special and powerful to me. It’s just so completely emotionally resonant and such a deeply felt book. It comments on how people on the fringes are treated or ignored. It comments on the unchecked medical malpractice in psychiatric institutions. And it explores how so many of our systems set up good people to fail instead of actually giving them the help they, instead of actually listening.
Really the only issues I had were, where the story ended and a small/insignificant but noticeable continuity error near the end.
But these are just minor things, and I feel like this books deserves a whole lot more attention.
Definitely one of my favorite novels I’ve read this year, and has one of my favorite narrators I’ve had the pleasure of spending time with.
There’s a whole lot of heavy content in Apparitions, and yet, it also so full, thanks to the narrator, of love. Sometimes really messy, manipulated love, but also one that’s just so pure, as well.
Adam Pottle has written a novel that I feel has been sorely lacking in the world because there just aren’t enough stories being published that center people with disabilities and give them the fullness of character they so well deserve.
I loved getting to discover the world and communication and how to tell his story alongside the narrator. And I love how queerness is represented in this book, as well.
So much about Apparitions just feels so special and powerful to me. It’s just so completely emotionally resonant and such a deeply felt book. It comments on how people on the fringes are treated or ignored. It comments on the unchecked medical malpractice in psychiatric institutions. And it explores how so many of our systems set up good people to fail instead of actually giving them the help they, instead of actually listening.
Really the only issues I had were, where the story ended and a small/insignificant but noticeable continuity error near the end.
But these are just minor things, and I feel like this books deserves a whole lot more attention.
January 14, 2026
Este libro no es una novela de terror al uso, de las que te hacen mirar para atrás, o escuchas sonidos extraños mientras la estás leyendo. Bajo mi punto de vista nos trae algo mucho peor, es una historia de verdaderos monstruos de carne y hueso. Aquí los fantasmas son monstruos humanos que utilizan sus artes más oscuras como el abuso físico, la manipulación emocional y el aislamiento físico y psicológico.
El protagonista de esta historia es un chico sordo, sin nombre, que ha pasado años encerrado y maltratado por su padre. Sin identidad, sin lenguaje ni forma de expresarse, logra escapar y termina en un hospital psiquiátrico en las praderas canadienses. Allí conoce a Felix, otro joven sordo que le ofrece comunicación, amistad y esperanza… pero también control y manipulación.
Una historia muy bien contada y muy bien escrita donde el autor nos muestra cómo el lenguaje puede construir nuestra identidad y cómo algunas veces la soledad puede convertir cualquier gesto en una nueva horrible prisión.
Es un libro que me ha gustado muchísimo pero que también me ha desarmado por lo duro que es. Lo recomiendo??? Sí, sí y sí, pero con la condición de que seas completamente consciente de que te meterás de lleno en una historia oscura sobre el silencio, el abuso y la necesidad desesperada de pertenecer.
Un libro brutal, incómodo pero muy necesario!!
El protagonista de esta historia es un chico sordo, sin nombre, que ha pasado años encerrado y maltratado por su padre. Sin identidad, sin lenguaje ni forma de expresarse, logra escapar y termina en un hospital psiquiátrico en las praderas canadienses. Allí conoce a Felix, otro joven sordo que le ofrece comunicación, amistad y esperanza… pero también control y manipulación.
Una historia muy bien contada y muy bien escrita donde el autor nos muestra cómo el lenguaje puede construir nuestra identidad y cómo algunas veces la soledad puede convertir cualquier gesto en una nueva horrible prisión.
Es un libro que me ha gustado muchísimo pero que también me ha desarmado por lo duro que es. Lo recomiendo??? Sí, sí y sí, pero con la condición de que seas completamente consciente de que te meterás de lleno en una historia oscura sobre el silencio, el abuso y la necesidad desesperada de pertenecer.
Un libro brutal, incómodo pero muy necesario!!
April 29, 2024
Thank you so much to Sadie from Dark Hart Books for providing me with an arc!
This book was definitely a sad and heavy read. Going into it, I was expecting more of a traditional horror story, but it ended up focusing more so on the horrors that humanity can inflict on others, especially towards those who are in a position to be easily manipulated.
I thought the writing was good and the characters felt realistic and had depth. I will have to keep an eye out for more from this author!
This book was definitely a sad and heavy read. Going into it, I was expecting more of a traditional horror story, but it ended up focusing more so on the horrors that humanity can inflict on others, especially towards those who are in a position to be easily manipulated.
I thought the writing was good and the characters felt realistic and had depth. I will have to keep an eye out for more from this author!
December 25, 2025
Unlike any other book I've read. Narrated by a Deaf boy who has lived through trauma. Sometimes crushing but a solid read.
October 2, 2023
“In giving me language, Felix gave me love. My blood glowed. The world shimmered with incredible potential — even dust pulsed with life.”
📚
Apparitions is a recent horror release that chronicles the devastating effects of abuse, deprivation, and violence. Told via both a first-person narrative and epistolary format, the storyline follows an unnamed Deaf teenager as he’s torn from his mother’s home and imprisoned in his father’s basement. Kept prisoner in this small, foul space for years, he is cruelly neglected, viciously mistreated, and denied learning, language, understanding, and meaningful human contact.
After escaping, he wanders through Saskatchewan before being placed in a psychiatric facility, where he meets another Deaf teen named Felix. Thrilled to find a companion who can teach him Sign Language, he quickly becomes dependent on, influenced by, and inseparable from Felix, whose ambition, cunning, and manipulation may actually be the last thing he needs.
This novel is an absolutely gut-wrenching journey that reads like real horror. All the protagonist knows is cruelty and savagery; because he has been treated in a subhuman manner, he responds in-kind, misunderstanding interactions and literally fighting for survival anytime he feels threatened. Isolation, dread, and terror intensify throughout as, without knowledge, communication, or agency, the main character is constantly at the mercy of those surrounding him. While this produces an utterly dark, overwhelming, and depressing situation, the story also shines with moments of beauty and hope — instances that show the protagonist’s true nature, which is loving, empathetic, and courageous.
A compelling and breathtaking work, Apparitions sears itself into the reader, evoking intense feelings of anxiety, sorrow, and fear in the face of oppression and inequality. It is a brutal account of circumstance, inhumanity, dispossession, and trauma as well as a beautiful tale of yearning, strength, love, desire, and perseverance. A unique, disorienting, and captivating odyssey, it’s the ultimate exercise in empathy, and an awe-inspiring opportunity to walk in another’s shoes.
Thank you to Dark Matter INK for sending me a copy of this powerful, beautiful novel. It was an incredible and indelible read.
📚
Apparitions is a recent horror release that chronicles the devastating effects of abuse, deprivation, and violence. Told via both a first-person narrative and epistolary format, the storyline follows an unnamed Deaf teenager as he’s torn from his mother’s home and imprisoned in his father’s basement. Kept prisoner in this small, foul space for years, he is cruelly neglected, viciously mistreated, and denied learning, language, understanding, and meaningful human contact.
After escaping, he wanders through Saskatchewan before being placed in a psychiatric facility, where he meets another Deaf teen named Felix. Thrilled to find a companion who can teach him Sign Language, he quickly becomes dependent on, influenced by, and inseparable from Felix, whose ambition, cunning, and manipulation may actually be the last thing he needs.
This novel is an absolutely gut-wrenching journey that reads like real horror. All the protagonist knows is cruelty and savagery; because he has been treated in a subhuman manner, he responds in-kind, misunderstanding interactions and literally fighting for survival anytime he feels threatened. Isolation, dread, and terror intensify throughout as, without knowledge, communication, or agency, the main character is constantly at the mercy of those surrounding him. While this produces an utterly dark, overwhelming, and depressing situation, the story also shines with moments of beauty and hope — instances that show the protagonist’s true nature, which is loving, empathetic, and courageous.
A compelling and breathtaking work, Apparitions sears itself into the reader, evoking intense feelings of anxiety, sorrow, and fear in the face of oppression and inequality. It is a brutal account of circumstance, inhumanity, dispossession, and trauma as well as a beautiful tale of yearning, strength, love, desire, and perseverance. A unique, disorienting, and captivating odyssey, it’s the ultimate exercise in empathy, and an awe-inspiring opportunity to walk in another’s shoes.
Thank you to Dark Matter INK for sending me a copy of this powerful, beautiful novel. It was an incredible and indelible read.
October 22, 2023
"With so many ways to say the same thing, he signed, they can talk their way out of trouble. But signing-- it's harder to lie when you speak with your body."
Apparitions is a wonderfully horrific dark tale of a Deaf boy going through a life of torture and manipulation. This is a story of trusting someone when trust is the last thing you want to give. This is the definition of vulnerability, of betrayal, of frustration, and misunderstanding.
Imagine with me if you will what it would be like to be thrown into a land where you can not communicate, where the world is so foreign that you have to go along just to stay out of trouble. You can't read, can't speak, can't understand where you are or why you are there. Imagine the loneliness and the judgemental looks. Surrounded by people yet totally alone.
This book is filled with insights from a perspective that will leave you in awe. Open your mind and empathize.
"What do you do if the way you're built is against the rules?"
Go back, read that again, and just think about it. How many people live that reality? Who feel that the way they are built, both mentally and physically, are against the rules? That they are an insult to the way people are "supposed" to be. The thought makes me feel hollow.
"Everyone has a different reality, Felix signed, and the best world accepts them all."
Don't get me wrong, this is not a book of sunshine, rainbows, and hope. It is brutal, it is devastating, it is isolation. This is a story of grabbing on to the first thing that connects with you and being glad for a moment that you have a friend.
"I was alone. No one knew where I was. No one knew who I was. I didn't know who I was. Looking in the mirror solved nothing."
Apparitions is a wonderfully horrific dark tale of a Deaf boy going through a life of torture and manipulation. This is a story of trusting someone when trust is the last thing you want to give. This is the definition of vulnerability, of betrayal, of frustration, and misunderstanding.
Imagine with me if you will what it would be like to be thrown into a land where you can not communicate, where the world is so foreign that you have to go along just to stay out of trouble. You can't read, can't speak, can't understand where you are or why you are there. Imagine the loneliness and the judgemental looks. Surrounded by people yet totally alone.
This book is filled with insights from a perspective that will leave you in awe. Open your mind and empathize.
"What do you do if the way you're built is against the rules?"
Go back, read that again, and just think about it. How many people live that reality? Who feel that the way they are built, both mentally and physically, are against the rules? That they are an insult to the way people are "supposed" to be. The thought makes me feel hollow.
"Everyone has a different reality, Felix signed, and the best world accepts them all."
Don't get me wrong, this is not a book of sunshine, rainbows, and hope. It is brutal, it is devastating, it is isolation. This is a story of grabbing on to the first thing that connects with you and being glad for a moment that you have a friend.
"I was alone. No one knew where I was. No one knew who I was. I didn't know who I was. Looking in the mirror solved nothing."
July 27, 2024
I'm at a loss for words to describe what this book did to me, which feels fitting. Written words and spoken sounds cannot come close to capturing what this book is.
This book was a practical lesson in the extremes of human emotions. Nothing about this book was moderate; the despair was all-encompassing and suffocating; the hope was soaring and vibrant. Part of me wants to scream about this book at the top of my lungs from every pedestal I can find, another part of me wants to hide it away into the deepest recesses of my mind and never let it see the light of day. This was a beautiful book. This was a horrible book.
I loved the book and I cannot recommend it enough, but be warned that this book was brutal. The tagline is "violence was his first language," and the content warnings seem unending. PLEASE pay attention to these warnings.
This book was a practical lesson in the extremes of human emotions. Nothing about this book was moderate; the despair was all-encompassing and suffocating; the hope was soaring and vibrant. Part of me wants to scream about this book at the top of my lungs from every pedestal I can find, another part of me wants to hide it away into the deepest recesses of my mind and never let it see the light of day. This was a beautiful book. This was a horrible book.
I loved the book and I cannot recommend it enough, but be warned that this book was brutal. The tagline is "violence was his first language," and the content warnings seem unending. PLEASE pay attention to these warnings.
August 4, 2024
Equal parts heartbreaking and horrifying.
A fictionalised memoir of a child who was deaf from birth, with family that did not teach him language of any form, and subsequently imprisoned him in a basement for most of his formative years.
This is the story that begins with his escape, and subsequent institutionalisation where he finally learns a form of language and communication, and is manipulated and moulded by a fellow deaf teen he meets.
It’s heavy stuff. Pottle firmly grounds you in the deaf first person perspective. The passages before he is finally taught sign language are harrowing (as are many of the passages afterward).
This is a horror novel, but there aren’t any ghosts or werewolves, the monsters in this book are all human. Do not take the content warning at the start of the book lightly.
This is essential reading for anyone with a passing interest in psychological horror.
A fictionalised memoir of a child who was deaf from birth, with family that did not teach him language of any form, and subsequently imprisoned him in a basement for most of his formative years.
This is the story that begins with his escape, and subsequent institutionalisation where he finally learns a form of language and communication, and is manipulated and moulded by a fellow deaf teen he meets.
It’s heavy stuff. Pottle firmly grounds you in the deaf first person perspective. The passages before he is finally taught sign language are harrowing (as are many of the passages afterward).
This is a horror novel, but there aren’t any ghosts or werewolves, the monsters in this book are all human. Do not take the content warning at the start of the book lightly.
This is essential reading for anyone with a passing interest in psychological horror.
December 20, 2024
Some really nasty shit in here, but this is a very good story and Adam Pottle is a talented writer. The prose was succinct yet descriptive, skillfully translating the visual language of Sign to English orthography, so it's kind of like the book itself is an interpreter for the reader—really makes me think about language, text and the medium of communication, which is supported in text by the intercutting of Felix's diary entries and Dr. Pearl's psychiatric notes on Felix's file.
CW:
CW:
September 25, 2023
Equally engaging and disturbing.
Apparitions is the definition of psychological horror. Due to his neglectful upbringing, the protagonist is incredibly vulnerable. Each new character had me scared on his behalf - would they help him or take advantage of him? I felt pretty invested in his fate: there were several tense points where I wanted to look away but couldn't.
I especially enjoyed reading Deaf characters written by a Deaf author. Pottle does a fantastic job at pulling you into the protagonists head so that you see through his eyes.
Thank you for the chance to check this book out for free! I'm leaving this review of my own accord.
Apparitions is the definition of psychological horror. Due to his neglectful upbringing, the protagonist is incredibly vulnerable. Each new character had me scared on his behalf - would they help him or take advantage of him? I felt pretty invested in his fate: there were several tense points where I wanted to look away but couldn't.
I especially enjoyed reading Deaf characters written by a Deaf author. Pottle does a fantastic job at pulling you into the protagonists head so that you see through his eyes.
Thank you for the chance to check this book out for free! I'm leaving this review of my own accord.
June 3, 2024
Apparitions is an incredible true story of survival against all odds. The narrators lived experiences are unimaginable. I am grateful he was able to tell his story, and even more grateful that a deaf author such as Pottle was the one to do it, and to do it such justice. I will definitely be reading more of Pottle’s work asap.
October 17, 2023
This is psychological horror at its finest. Combined with the original manner of presentation, it's not a book I'll forget for a very long time. It took me utterly by surprise: the story is not simple, but its impact makes it as emotionally intoxicating as visceral. It's very heavy and sad, but the pay-off, both in mind and soul, is worth it; you'll be stuck staring into space long after you're finished. Highly recommended!
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
May 19, 2025
Hmm…. Too hard to review really as too close to home with deaf family members. An uncomfortable read for me.
May 11, 2026
🫂 Gracias, @babelioenespanol por organizar la dinámica de Masa Crítica y a @dilatandomentes por el envío del ejemplar.
🕛 Tenía muy buenas referencias de este libro y he entrado sin saber absolutamente nada y creo que ha sido la mejor decisión que podría haber tomado, pues creo que la sinopsis revela demasiado y la sorpresa, aunque me ha descolocado, me ha parecido brutal.
📖 En esta historia narrada en varios tiempos y que mezcla la primera persona con algunas partes epistolares seguimos a un adolescente sin nombre que ha sufrido abuso extremo y, además, sufre de sordera, por lo que tiene una forma muy particular de ver y entender el mundo por partida doble, pues su desarrollo no ha sido el normal y, además, tiene una discapacidad que, en la época, era todo un impedimento para llevar una vida normal. Además de esto, tendremos a Felix, un chico con unas creencias bastante particulares que tendrá una fijación especial con nuestro protagonista...
🗺️ Ha sido uno de los libros más agobiantes que he leído jamás. Por su ambientación, que se sentía oscura y opresiva constantemente, por la situación del protagonista, por su entorno, su incapacidad de comunicarse, por Felix haciendo de las suyas, por sus recuerdos, su historia, su forma de ver el mundo... en fin, que es muy inmersivo y sufres junto al pobre chaval.
Además, nos encontramos con escenarios extremadamente aislados, entre ellos un hospital psiquiátrico (que no es el peor), lo que hace que nos sintamos atrapados a diferentes niveles, pues no solo es que el personaje no pueda salir físicamente de donde está, es que además no se puede comunicar bien y apenas sabe nada del mundo.
🎭 El punto de vista de nuestro protagonista, además en primera persona, ha sido especialmente original, pues no solo nos traslada a la mente de una persona sorda (en una época complicada), sino que, además, nos traslada a la cabeza de alguien que no sabe cómo funciona el mundo, que ha vivido aislado, que, de alguna manera y aunque está roto, tiene su inocencia intacta para algunas cosas, y creo que es extremadamente difícil de conseguir. Pero aquí estamos, después de leer esta historia y sufriendo por nuestro querido chaval.
🛐 Por otro lado, tenemos a Felix, que es un personaje extremadamente perturbador. Hace que nos hierva la sangre y, por mucho que intentemos conectar con él, claramente vemos que tiene problemas muy graves que no se van a poder solucionar fácilmente. Su relación con nuestro protagonista es bastante turbia, y se genera una suerte de codependencia y manipulación tóxica que te deja con el corazón en un puño.
👂🏼 Respecto al tema de la representación de personas sordas, la verdad es que creo que he leído muy pocas historias en las que podamos vivir su POV y, la verdad, me ha parecido bastante logrado. Siempre me gusta apostar por las historias con diversidad y, en este caso, ha cumplido muy bien.
✒️ La pluma de Adam me ha gustado, aunque me ha resultado agobiante y, en algunos momentos, algo confusa. Mezclar varios tiempos con distintos estilos narrativos (narración en primera persona y luego la parte de extractos de un diario, informes clínicos... por otro) es una apuesta arriesgada y, aunque debo reconocer que le ha hecho justicia y que se nota que está lograda, la historia tiene problemas de ritmo en ocasiones, y puede resultar algo confusa. No es algo grave, y creo que tiene mucho mérito escribir algo así, pero mi experiencia ha sido la de sentir desconcierto en algunos momentos y me habría gustado que fuese más claro.
📖 En cualquier caso, respecto al desarrollo de la historia creo que funciona bien, que las cosas que se cuentan son, en general, relevantes y que, sobre todo, consigue transmitir muchísima inquietud y agobio.
⌛ En definitiva, si te gustan las historias de terror psicológico y los puntos de vista diferentes, este libro es para ti. Eso sí, prepárate, porque te va a dejar seco.
⭐⭐⭐⭐
🕛 Tenía muy buenas referencias de este libro y he entrado sin saber absolutamente nada y creo que ha sido la mejor decisión que podría haber tomado, pues creo que la sinopsis revela demasiado y la sorpresa, aunque me ha descolocado, me ha parecido brutal.
📖 En esta historia narrada en varios tiempos y que mezcla la primera persona con algunas partes epistolares seguimos a un adolescente sin nombre que ha sufrido abuso extremo y, además, sufre de sordera, por lo que tiene una forma muy particular de ver y entender el mundo por partida doble, pues su desarrollo no ha sido el normal y, además, tiene una discapacidad que, en la época, era todo un impedimento para llevar una vida normal. Además de esto, tendremos a Felix, un chico con unas creencias bastante particulares que tendrá una fijación especial con nuestro protagonista...
🗺️ Ha sido uno de los libros más agobiantes que he leído jamás. Por su ambientación, que se sentía oscura y opresiva constantemente, por la situación del protagonista, por su entorno, su incapacidad de comunicarse, por Felix haciendo de las suyas, por sus recuerdos, su historia, su forma de ver el mundo... en fin, que es muy inmersivo y sufres junto al pobre chaval.
Además, nos encontramos con escenarios extremadamente aislados, entre ellos un hospital psiquiátrico (que no es el peor), lo que hace que nos sintamos atrapados a diferentes niveles, pues no solo es que el personaje no pueda salir físicamente de donde está, es que además no se puede comunicar bien y apenas sabe nada del mundo.
🎭 El punto de vista de nuestro protagonista, además en primera persona, ha sido especialmente original, pues no solo nos traslada a la mente de una persona sorda (en una época complicada), sino que, además, nos traslada a la cabeza de alguien que no sabe cómo funciona el mundo, que ha vivido aislado, que, de alguna manera y aunque está roto, tiene su inocencia intacta para algunas cosas, y creo que es extremadamente difícil de conseguir. Pero aquí estamos, después de leer esta historia y sufriendo por nuestro querido chaval.
🛐 Por otro lado, tenemos a Felix, que es un personaje extremadamente perturbador. Hace que nos hierva la sangre y, por mucho que intentemos conectar con él, claramente vemos que tiene problemas muy graves que no se van a poder solucionar fácilmente. Su relación con nuestro protagonista es bastante turbia, y se genera una suerte de codependencia y manipulación tóxica que te deja con el corazón en un puño.
👂🏼 Respecto al tema de la representación de personas sordas, la verdad es que creo que he leído muy pocas historias en las que podamos vivir su POV y, la verdad, me ha parecido bastante logrado. Siempre me gusta apostar por las historias con diversidad y, en este caso, ha cumplido muy bien.
✒️ La pluma de Adam me ha gustado, aunque me ha resultado agobiante y, en algunos momentos, algo confusa. Mezclar varios tiempos con distintos estilos narrativos (narración en primera persona y luego la parte de extractos de un diario, informes clínicos... por otro) es una apuesta arriesgada y, aunque debo reconocer que le ha hecho justicia y que se nota que está lograda, la historia tiene problemas de ritmo en ocasiones, y puede resultar algo confusa. No es algo grave, y creo que tiene mucho mérito escribir algo así, pero mi experiencia ha sido la de sentir desconcierto en algunos momentos y me habría gustado que fuese más claro.
📖 En cualquier caso, respecto al desarrollo de la historia creo que funciona bien, que las cosas que se cuentan son, en general, relevantes y que, sobre todo, consigue transmitir muchísima inquietud y agobio.
⌛ En definitiva, si te gustan las historias de terror psicológico y los puntos de vista diferentes, este libro es para ti. Eso sí, prepárate, porque te va a dejar seco.
⭐⭐⭐⭐
October 10, 2023
Apparitions tells the story of two deaf boys who desperately hold onto each other for support in a world not built for them, where only they can truly understand each other. It's also a story of how having so much love trapped inside you while being misunderstood can make you turn out one way, or the other. . .
This is told entirely from the deaf perspective, so if you're one of those readers who can't stand books without quotation marks, give this one a pass—or, understand that there are none because there is no spoken dialogue to be heard from this point of view. This stylistic choice, to me, was skillfully done.
I also loved the tight control of revealing information. This book was a brilliantly crafted epistolary narrative, told in part through the transcribed signs of the narrator whose name only exists in sign, and through the various collected writings, ravings, and files related to Felix Jimson, the other deaf boy.
The narrator was kidnapped from his mother by his father, and held captive in a basement room until he escaped as a teenager, only to end up in a mental hospital. Felix also is estranged from his mother, but his left him and his dad of her own volition. Both boys have daddy issues, but one wishes love and peace for his father, hoping he'll stop being so mean and xenophobic, while the other becomes obsessed with killing his father.
The relationship between these two boys is conflicting due to the power dynamic. Stuck in a Canadian mental hospital in the year 1980, the narrator learns how to sign from fellow patient Felix, and even eventually gets his name from him. Felix gives him the gift of language, gives him the words for love, peace, sex, and everything else, including some free tips on what to know to get by as a Deaf person in a hearing world. His observations on the world are often insightful and true, to a degree. However, Felix is in the hospital for a reason himself: he's a paranoid schizophrenic who takes this opportunity to explain his understanding of God to a willing listener, warping the narrator into being a devoted apostle of his new gospel.
And this is where the conflict arises. Because it is ultimately love and the desire for true connection that drives the actions of these boys, whether they be violent or not. But because of Felix's mental illness, the way he goes about trying to receive and maintain love, both on small and large scales, is psychologically manipulative. The narrator's ignorance and innocence prevent him from seeing this, though we, the reader, and the doctors in the novel, are all too aware of what's going on. It makes scenes where they are forcibly dragged apart even harder to read. It's hard not to root for these boys and hope they can stay together, even knowing Felix is so messed up and needs help that the system just won't be able to provide. It's understandably hard for the narrator to feel any need to walk away from the person who gave him the gift of language and was the first person to really show him love after a childhood of hate and violence.
Overall, a truly horrific novel that expertly portrays the intersections of disability, sexual orientation, and mental health, Apparitions was a reading experience unlike any other I've had so far.
Thanks to BookSirens and Dark Hart Books for providing me with a free digital copy of this book. I am leaving my honest feedback here voluntarily.
This is told entirely from the deaf perspective, so if you're one of those readers who can't stand books without quotation marks, give this one a pass—or, understand that there are none because there is no spoken dialogue to be heard from this point of view. This stylistic choice, to me, was skillfully done.
I also loved the tight control of revealing information. This book was a brilliantly crafted epistolary narrative, told in part through the transcribed signs of the narrator whose name only exists in sign, and through the various collected writings, ravings, and files related to Felix Jimson, the other deaf boy.
The narrator was kidnapped from his mother by his father, and held captive in a basement room until he escaped as a teenager, only to end up in a mental hospital. Felix also is estranged from his mother, but his left him and his dad of her own volition. Both boys have daddy issues, but one wishes love and peace for his father, hoping he'll stop being so mean and xenophobic, while the other becomes obsessed with killing his father.
The relationship between these two boys is conflicting due to the power dynamic. Stuck in a Canadian mental hospital in the year 1980, the narrator learns how to sign from fellow patient Felix, and even eventually gets his name from him. Felix gives him the gift of language, gives him the words for love, peace, sex, and everything else, including some free tips on what to know to get by as a Deaf person in a hearing world. His observations on the world are often insightful and true, to a degree. However, Felix is in the hospital for a reason himself: he's a paranoid schizophrenic who takes this opportunity to explain his understanding of God to a willing listener, warping the narrator into being a devoted apostle of his new gospel.
And this is where the conflict arises. Because it is ultimately love and the desire for true connection that drives the actions of these boys, whether they be violent or not. But because of Felix's mental illness, the way he goes about trying to receive and maintain love, both on small and large scales, is psychologically manipulative. The narrator's ignorance and innocence prevent him from seeing this, though we, the reader, and the doctors in the novel, are all too aware of what's going on. It makes scenes where they are forcibly dragged apart even harder to read. It's hard not to root for these boys and hope they can stay together, even knowing Felix is so messed up and needs help that the system just won't be able to provide. It's understandably hard for the narrator to feel any need to walk away from the person who gave him the gift of language and was the first person to really show him love after a childhood of hate and violence.
Overall, a truly horrific novel that expertly portrays the intersections of disability, sexual orientation, and mental health, Apparitions was a reading experience unlike any other I've had so far.
Thanks to BookSirens and Dark Hart Books for providing me with a free digital copy of this book. I am leaving my honest feedback here voluntarily.
May 27, 2026
¡TAN DURO COMO SUBLIME! Eres un niño sordo en los años 70-80 que presencias desde pequeño la violencia y el mundo de las drogas con tus padres y que desde muy pequeño tu padre te secuestró en un sótano y te obligó a pelear contra animales dentro de una jaula a vida o muerte mientras que apostaba con sus amiguitos. Y cuando ya no sirves porque tus heridas te impiden pelear pretender enterrarte vivo. Consigues escapar y acabas en un psiquiátrico con otros jóvenes donde conoces a Felix, paciente de este lugar por un incidente del pasado que no voy a desvelar, también sordo y que se convierte en tu único apoyo y tú en su fiel seguidor, hasta el final.
Con este argumento, donde Adam nos indica tanto en las notas del autor como en agradecimientos que es un testimonio real, aunque yo no he conseguido encontrar más información del caso lo que me hace dudar si es realmente un caso real o si está tan bien escrito que tanto la nota del autor como los agradecimientos forman parte de esa aura de realidad (en ambos casos me parecería tremendo), nos mete de lleno en una de las historias más oscuras que he leído nunca. Es una lectura dura, dentro de una atmósfera de terror psicológico, donde se nos cuenta un auténtico drama de un niño sin nombre, sin identidad y sin nada, al que confiar en el único ser que parece quererlo, le llevará aún a una oscuridad todavía mayor de la que ya traía.
No puedo hacer más que recomendarlo, volviendo avisar de la dureza del libro con violencia explícita, abusos de todo tipo y con una ansiedad al ver todo lo que tuvo que pasar el protagonista en cada momento, pero donde al autor consigue hacernos vivir y sentir ese terror del protagonista, donde también se trata muy bien el tema de los psiquiátricos de hace no tantos años atrás, así como el significado negativo que tenía ser “sordo” no tantos años atrás.
El libro cuenta además con extractos del “Cuaderno de Felix” que nos hace ver la forma de pensar del otro protagonista del libro y también con “Informes de Evaluación del Paciente, que hacen referencia a Felix y que nos lleva a conocer el motivo por el que está ingresado aquí.
No cuento más, no desvelo más detalles que si que me parecen interesantes pero que ya desvelarían parte importante de la trama, pero nuevamente, volver a recomendarlo porque es uno de esos libros que no me cansaré de recomendar y que no voy a olvidar ningún detalle.
PD. Además la edición me parece una auténtica maravilla. Enhorabuena Adam y Dilatando Mentes por algo tan bien trabajado.
Frases destacadas.
“Mi primer idioma no fue el lenguaje de signos, fue la violencia”
“La luz nos permite ver, pero también nos muestra cosas que quizás no queramos ver. La luz destaca todo. Nos divide. Todo se mezcla en la oscuridad”.
“Todos los que estamos aquí hemos arrojado luz sobre un rincón oscuro de la humanidad, y la gente nos odia por ello”
“Medir el tiempo es como intentar contener un río con un vaso. El tiempo es una forma de control. El tiempo no significa nada si nada cambia”.
“Ojalá pudiera abrazar al mundo; el mundo nunca parece tener suficiente amor. Quizás no sabe cómo acogerlo, no sabe cómo abrazar y proteger a quienes más amor tienen para dar”.
Con este argumento, donde Adam nos indica tanto en las notas del autor como en agradecimientos que es un testimonio real, aunque yo no he conseguido encontrar más información del caso lo que me hace dudar si es realmente un caso real o si está tan bien escrito que tanto la nota del autor como los agradecimientos forman parte de esa aura de realidad (en ambos casos me parecería tremendo), nos mete de lleno en una de las historias más oscuras que he leído nunca. Es una lectura dura, dentro de una atmósfera de terror psicológico, donde se nos cuenta un auténtico drama de un niño sin nombre, sin identidad y sin nada, al que confiar en el único ser que parece quererlo, le llevará aún a una oscuridad todavía mayor de la que ya traía.
No puedo hacer más que recomendarlo, volviendo avisar de la dureza del libro con violencia explícita, abusos de todo tipo y con una ansiedad al ver todo lo que tuvo que pasar el protagonista en cada momento, pero donde al autor consigue hacernos vivir y sentir ese terror del protagonista, donde también se trata muy bien el tema de los psiquiátricos de hace no tantos años atrás, así como el significado negativo que tenía ser “sordo” no tantos años atrás.
El libro cuenta además con extractos del “Cuaderno de Felix” que nos hace ver la forma de pensar del otro protagonista del libro y también con “Informes de Evaluación del Paciente, que hacen referencia a Felix y que nos lleva a conocer el motivo por el que está ingresado aquí.
No cuento más, no desvelo más detalles que si que me parecen interesantes pero que ya desvelarían parte importante de la trama, pero nuevamente, volver a recomendarlo porque es uno de esos libros que no me cansaré de recomendar y que no voy a olvidar ningún detalle.
PD. Además la edición me parece una auténtica maravilla. Enhorabuena Adam y Dilatando Mentes por algo tan bien trabajado.
Frases destacadas.
“Mi primer idioma no fue el lenguaje de signos, fue la violencia”
“La luz nos permite ver, pero también nos muestra cosas que quizás no queramos ver. La luz destaca todo. Nos divide. Todo se mezcla en la oscuridad”.
“Todos los que estamos aquí hemos arrojado luz sobre un rincón oscuro de la humanidad, y la gente nos odia por ello”
“Medir el tiempo es como intentar contener un río con un vaso. El tiempo es una forma de control. El tiempo no significa nada si nada cambia”.
“Ojalá pudiera abrazar al mundo; el mundo nunca parece tener suficiente amor. Quizás no sabe cómo acogerlo, no sabe cómo abrazar y proteger a quienes más amor tienen para dar”.
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