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Supernatural Suckers #2
The World's Wimpiest Vampire: Supernatural Suckers, Book 2
The world’s wimpiest vampire meets the hunter who cannot believe this is their target.
Charlie never asked to be turned into a vampire. In fact, the whole thing was a drunken mistake. One minute, he was minding his own business, the next, some idiot vampire bit him on a dare—and then immediately regretted it and abandoned him.
Now Charlie is very bad at being undead. He faints at the sight of blood, refuses to bite people, and spends his days trying to survive on beet juice, cherry Kool-Aid, and sheer denial. The vampire world wants nothing to do with him, and honestly? He gets it.
Simon is a seasoned vampire hunter. Ruthless, efficient, and completely dedicated to the cause, he’s spent years taking down deadly creatures of the night. When he finally tracks down Charlie Dracul, he expects a monster.
Instead, he finds a sleep-deprived disaster with ketchup on his hoodie who nearly passes out when he pulls out a stake.
Simon should end this embarrassment of a vampire immediately. But it feels unsporting. And, worse, the longer he watches Charlie bumble his way through undead existence, the harder it is to look away.
Killing monsters is easy. Figuring out what to do with a vampire who sucks at being a vampire?
That’s another problem entirely.
Charlie never asked to be turned into a vampire. In fact, the whole thing was a drunken mistake. One minute, he was minding his own business, the next, some idiot vampire bit him on a dare—and then immediately regretted it and abandoned him.
Now Charlie is very bad at being undead. He faints at the sight of blood, refuses to bite people, and spends his days trying to survive on beet juice, cherry Kool-Aid, and sheer denial. The vampire world wants nothing to do with him, and honestly? He gets it.
Simon is a seasoned vampire hunter. Ruthless, efficient, and completely dedicated to the cause, he’s spent years taking down deadly creatures of the night. When he finally tracks down Charlie Dracul, he expects a monster.
Instead, he finds a sleep-deprived disaster with ketchup on his hoodie who nearly passes out when he pulls out a stake.
Simon should end this embarrassment of a vampire immediately. But it feels unsporting. And, worse, the longer he watches Charlie bumble his way through undead existence, the harder it is to look away.
Killing monsters is easy. Figuring out what to do with a vampire who sucks at being a vampire?
That’s another problem entirely.
Audible Audio
Published December 30, 2025
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 295 reviews
January 12, 2026
It's been a while since I read a book like this one and I quite enjoyed it overall.
When I started reading it, I didn't want to put it down. It was fun and intriguing and Charlie is the cutest.
However, I started losing interest a bit in the second half and towards the end. The way the events in that part of the story were described felt too juvenile and far-fetched for my liking.
When I started reading it, I didn't want to put it down. It was fun and intriguing and Charlie is the cutest.
However, I started losing interest a bit in the second half and towards the end. The way the events in that part of the story were described felt too juvenile and far-fetched for my liking.
May 29, 2026
⭐️ 4 stars ⭐️
The World’s Wimpiest Vampire seemed like it was gonna be a ridiculous time, but it also had some great drama and action bits that surprised me. A bit of enemies to lovers, a touch of slow burn, a couple existential crises, hilarious bunny shenanigans, and adorable found family.
Charlie couldn’t be less like a stereotypical vampire — faints at the sight of blood, no graceful predatory mannerisms, apologizes to furniture, and his animal form is a bunny. A BUNNY VAMPIRE.
Meanwhile Simon was exactly like I imagine a vampire hunter to be, all lethal and badass, but I still loved seeing his brain melt because of Charlie’s unexpectedness.
The spice was a little lacking for my tastes, but it was hot and sweet at the same time. I just wanted more of it.
Overall, a fun AND funny paranormal romance, and certainly different from others I’ve read. I still can’t get over the damn bunny going wild and the bad guys being flabbergasted. Best part of the book. Along with Charlie’s friend thinking Charlie wasn’t actually a vampire, just really committed to LARPing.
CW and NSFW info (spoilers):
- Mention of torture & medical experimentation (past)
- Parental death (past)
- Vampire vs vampire hunter
- Violence
- Biting
- Top/bottom
"How could you possibly survive on ketchup?" Charlie stared up at him with big eyes.
"In a very sad way?"
The World’s Wimpiest Vampire seemed like it was gonna be a ridiculous time, but it also had some great drama and action bits that surprised me. A bit of enemies to lovers, a touch of slow burn, a couple existential crises, hilarious bunny shenanigans, and adorable found family.
"It moved," Simon observed. "Please don't narrate my tail movements." "It's responding to your emotions." "Simon, I'm begging you—" Simon grinned. "Maybe I like it when you beg."
Charlie couldn’t be less like a stereotypical vampire — faints at the sight of blood, no graceful predatory mannerisms, apologizes to furniture, and his animal form is a bunny. A BUNNY VAMPIRE.
Meanwhile Simon was exactly like I imagine a vampire hunter to be, all lethal and badass, but I still loved seeing his brain melt because of Charlie’s unexpectedness.
"You want to come like this?" Simon murmured into his ear. "Because I'd rather you come when I fuck you. I want to be inside of you." His voice dropped lower. "I want to feel you writhe on my cock."
The spice was a little lacking for my tastes, but it was hot and sweet at the same time. I just wanted more of it.
Overall, a fun AND funny paranormal romance, and certainly different from others I’ve read. I still can’t get over the damn bunny going wild and the bad guys being flabbergasted. Best part of the book. Along with Charlie’s friend thinking Charlie wasn’t actually a vampire, just really committed to LARPing.
"You get to choose what you want to be now." Simon covered Charlie's hand with his own.
"I'm choosing to be with you."
CW and NSFW info (spoilers):
- Mention of torture & medical experimentation (past)
- Parental death (past)
- Vampire vs vampire hunter
- Violence
- Biting
- Top/bottom
January 22, 2026
4**** stars
I agree with everyone who came before me: Charlie must be protected at all costs! (and cuddled, and love bombed)
And I have to say I’m a real big fan of this vampire/hunter premise so I’m using the opportunity to recommend Blood and Secrets for everyone who likes it a little darker.
**************
Supernatural Suckers Series
Book 1 - Hell's Most Incompetent Demon
Book 2 - The World's Wimpiest Vampire - 4.0 stars
Book 3 - The Afterlife's Most Anxious Reaper - release 05/26
I agree with everyone who came before me: Charlie must be protected at all costs! (and cuddled, and love bombed)
And I have to say I’m a real big fan of this vampire/hunter premise so I’m using the opportunity to recommend Blood and Secrets for everyone who likes it a little darker.
**************
Supernatural Suckers Series
Book 1 - Hell's Most Incompetent Demon
Book 2 - The World's Wimpiest Vampire - 4.0 stars
Book 3 - The Afterlife's Most Anxious Reaper - release 05/26
January 15, 2026
i can’t believe i almost didn’t add this to my tbr.
this thing is fucking hilarious. like not only i laughed reading it, i still find myself randomly giggling.
charlie was adorable and made me laugh, but once the rabbit made his appearance, i was officially done for. like i had to take a break every time i read the word rabbit because i couldn’t stop giggling.
im so excited for the next one
this thing is fucking hilarious. like not only i laughed reading it, i still find myself randomly giggling.
charlie was adorable and made me laugh, but once the rabbit made his appearance, i was officially done for. like i had to take a break every time i read the word rabbit because i couldn’t stop giggling.
im so excited for the next one
February 13, 2026
~3.5~
The first half was cuddly and laugh-out-loud funny. The laundry cart scene at the beginning was particularly hilarious.
Charlie was seriously too cute to exist. Simon didn't have much of a personality, but that was sort of the point (he was trained to be a killing machine with a protein shake habit). Charlie's clueless, sushi-fiend friend, Brent, was almost as cute as Charlie.
The second half hit a snag and devolved into an OTT action flick with flying bunnies (okay, just one vicious & adorable bunny), stabby scientists with bad intentions, and a librarian who's maybe a deity (and also an asshole for setting Charlie up because what if things hadn't gone according to plan?).
I didn't really understand the purpose of the retreat; seemed like lot of money to spend on something intangible.
Also, the title makes this sound like a middle school novel, which it definitely is not (far too sexy and violent).
The first half was cuddly and laugh-out-loud funny. The laundry cart scene at the beginning was particularly hilarious.
Charlie was seriously too cute to exist. Simon didn't have much of a personality, but that was sort of the point (he was trained to be a killing machine with a protein shake habit). Charlie's clueless, sushi-fiend friend, Brent, was almost as cute as Charlie.
The second half hit a snag and devolved into an OTT action flick with flying bunnies (okay, just one vicious & adorable bunny), stabby scientists with bad intentions, and a librarian who's maybe a deity (and also an asshole for setting Charlie up because what if things hadn't gone according to plan?).
I didn't really understand the purpose of the retreat; seemed like lot of money to spend on something intangible.
Also, the title makes this sound like a middle school novel, which it definitely is not (far too sexy and violent).
March 9, 2026
This was equally parts adorable, funny, ridiculous and sweet. Charlie is really the worst vampire ever, my sweet summer child, until he meets Simon and his non-life takes a turn for the better, even if he had to experience some very anxious moments first.
I had the absolute best time with this book; it was so cozy and entertaining that I just couldn’t stop reading it. There are some things in the plot that either make no sense or are not fully explained, but I choose to ignore them and just vibe with the story.
I can't wait for the next book in this series!
I had the absolute best time with this book; it was so cozy and entertaining that I just couldn’t stop reading it. There are some things in the plot that either make no sense or are not fully explained, but I choose to ignore them and just vibe with the story.
I can't wait for the next book in this series!
February 20, 2026
To sum up this whole book in one sentence, I would say: I laughed my butt off reading this book. This is the funniest book I’ve read in a long time!
So basically, Charlie was turned into a vampire as a joke. A very one sided joke because he definitely doesn’t find it funny. Have you ever met a vampire who faints at the sight of blood? Poor Charlie is having a terrible time, my sweet walking disaster. And then he meets Simon. The vampire hunter. Their first meeting had tears coming out of my eyes. I laughed and laughed and laughed. I constantly found myself laughing out of nowhere reading this book, it is amazing.
Simon was getting intel that Charlie was some modern day Dracula who kills innocent babies and what not in his spare time. Obviously Charlie wouldn’t hurt a fly, so they work together to figure out who is spreading this nonsense about Charlie, and they find out so much more along the way. It was a great read.
There wasn’t much spice in this book. Just a little toward the end. But I honestly couldn’t be bothered when I was laughing so much or swooning. More spice would’ve been appreciated, but really not needed in my opinion.
Loved this book and all the characters in it!
So basically, Charlie was turned into a vampire as a joke. A very one sided joke because he definitely doesn’t find it funny. Have you ever met a vampire who faints at the sight of blood? Poor Charlie is having a terrible time, my sweet walking disaster. And then he meets Simon. The vampire hunter. Their first meeting had tears coming out of my eyes. I laughed and laughed and laughed. I constantly found myself laughing out of nowhere reading this book, it is amazing.
Simon was getting intel that Charlie was some modern day Dracula who kills innocent babies and what not in his spare time. Obviously Charlie wouldn’t hurt a fly, so they work together to figure out who is spreading this nonsense about Charlie, and they find out so much more along the way. It was a great read.
There wasn’t much spice in this book. Just a little toward the end. But I honestly couldn’t be bothered when I was laughing so much or swooning. More spice would’ve been appreciated, but really not needed in my opinion.
Loved this book and all the characters in it!
February 17, 2026
Awwww, this was cute!
I thought it would be slapstick funny, with that title and blurb. But I was very happy to find out that while this story was cute, it didn't skip on the emotions. And Charlie's situation might have been funny objectively, but I was glad that the author chose hurt/comfort over slapstick humour.
I thought it would be slapstick funny, with that title and blurb. But I was very happy to find out that while this story was cute, it didn't skip on the emotions. And Charlie's situation might have been funny objectively, but I was glad that the author chose hurt/comfort over slapstick humour.
February 27, 2026
I picked this up expecting brain-off rom com vampire fluff.
What I got? Emotional damage, and one of the best first kisses I’ve read this year.
Charlie is three weeks baby vampire and he is, objectively, terrible at it. He faints at the sight of blood. He’s scared of everything. He cannot hurt anyone. He is basically supernatural anxiety in a hoodie.
Simon, the vampire hunter on the other hand, has killed 113 vampires. And enjoys what he does to the fullest and has done it One hundred and thirteen times successfully and has a reputation for it.
And then he meets Charlie.
What starts as “I’m investigating him” to end him slowly turns into “Why can’t I bring myself to hurt him?” and that internal conflict? Delicious. Simon isn’t soft he’s conflicted. He sees something in Charlie that doesn’t fit his worldview, and that crack in his certainty is where this book shines.
That rooftop scene? Broke my heart. Poor Charlie running in blind panic, after seeing Simon killing 4 vampires in a matter of minutes in front of him and Simon showing up to save him? That wasn’t rom-com fluff. That was intense and I was invested from the start.
The first kiss happens around 50%. I know right? But…
Did I notice we were halfway through with zero intimacy? Absolutely not. That’s how well this was paced. I wasn’t waiting for spice. I was hooked on the tension. And when that kiss finally happened, it hit so hard I reread it immediately. Proof that one well-earned kiss beats five random sex scenes any day.
Now here’s my only small gripe.
The last 20% lost a bit of momentum for me. The emotional high point had already landed earlier, so by the time we were wrapping things up, I found myself skimming. It didn’t ruin the story, but the intensity wasn’t quite as sharp at the end.
Still? 4.5 ⭐ — chaotic premise, surprising emotional depth, and a first kiss that absolutely delivered.
Soft, terrified fledgling vampire x morally conflicted hunter who can’t pull the trigger? I dug that dynamic so hard.
Will just to book 1 now as this one was really good
What I got? Emotional damage, and one of the best first kisses I’ve read this year.
Charlie is three weeks baby vampire and he is, objectively, terrible at it. He faints at the sight of blood. He’s scared of everything. He cannot hurt anyone. He is basically supernatural anxiety in a hoodie.
Simon, the vampire hunter on the other hand, has killed 113 vampires. And enjoys what he does to the fullest and has done it One hundred and thirteen times successfully and has a reputation for it.
And then he meets Charlie.
What starts as “I’m investigating him” to end him slowly turns into “Why can’t I bring myself to hurt him?” and that internal conflict? Delicious. Simon isn’t soft he’s conflicted. He sees something in Charlie that doesn’t fit his worldview, and that crack in his certainty is where this book shines.
That rooftop scene? Broke my heart. Poor Charlie running in blind panic, after seeing Simon killing 4 vampires in a matter of minutes in front of him and Simon showing up to save him? That wasn’t rom-com fluff. That was intense and I was invested from the start.
The first kiss happens around 50%. I know right? But…
Did I notice we were halfway through with zero intimacy? Absolutely not. That’s how well this was paced. I wasn’t waiting for spice. I was hooked on the tension. And when that kiss finally happened, it hit so hard I reread it immediately. Proof that one well-earned kiss beats five random sex scenes any day.
Now here’s my only small gripe.
The last 20% lost a bit of momentum for me. The emotional high point had already landed earlier, so by the time we were wrapping things up, I found myself skimming. It didn’t ruin the story, but the intensity wasn’t quite as sharp at the end.
Still? 4.5 ⭐ — chaotic premise, surprising emotional depth, and a first kiss that absolutely delivered.
Soft, terrified fledgling vampire x morally conflicted hunter who can’t pull the trigger? I dug that dynamic so hard.
Will just to book 1 now as this one was really good
March 14, 2026
I love vampire romance. But I have to say, every time I'm reading one, I can't help but consider the possibility of death breath. Or blood breath. I'm not sure which one's worse.
They're not really dead, you say? Fine. Undead breath. Undeath(?) breath? Doesn't matter. If sometimes the breath of the living can smell that way, just imagine. The possibilities.
Today's word is ridiculousness. Right next to it is a picture of Charlie. Because why are you (a vampire) getting into bed, with a vampire hunter you JUST met sitted right next to you, stake laid across his lap?
Then zonking out immediately your head hits the pillow.
What level of 'may the chips fall where they may' is this?
I mean, it probably helped that said hunter juiced himself to feed Charlie a few minutes prior.
But still.
How trusting can you be to fall deeply asleep right next to the guy who literally hunted you down two nights in a row with a STAKE?!
We need a Vampire Regulatory Board. The standards for whom they're turning are dismal.
This same guy has been telling his friend every day(in every way) for three weeks now that he's a vampire. The secret only remains hidden because it's too absurd for the friend to believe it.
"You're just... unprecedented."
"That's a nice way of saying 'weird.'"
Simon sums him up nicely with this, because I really don't know how else to describe Charlie.
More questions.
What are the long term logistics of partnering with a vampire who can't control his fangs, especially when you kiss? Just make peace with every kiss tasting like shredded tongue?
Also, at what point are you fucking a rabbit? What percentage of him has to be in rabbit form before we say okay, that guy's totally fucking a rabbit?(because, yep. Our ridiculous vamp partially shifts when he's aroused sometimes)
"I live in constant danger of embarrassing myself to death."
Yes, baby. You do.
Anyway. I didn't hate this. But maybe I'm just bad vibes because instead of enjoying the romance (I swear, I sort of did for the first half), I spent most of the second half slightly annoyed by the plot.
The one interesting plot element to me was that Simon gave Charlie his first feeding, so in some sense took on the power that comes from being his sire. Which came with perks like compulsion. I wanted to see what a relationship would look like where one MC can make the other do pretty much whatever he wants(and the associated fallout) but that ended up getting nerfed in a very inglorious fashion.
So. Yeah.
But sure, the title is appropriate. Goodness, we really do need half ratings. 3 seems too favorable but 2 seems unnecessarily mean.
They're not really dead, you say? Fine. Undead breath. Undeath(?) breath? Doesn't matter. If sometimes the breath of the living can smell that way, just imagine. The possibilities.
Today's word is ridiculousness. Right next to it is a picture of Charlie. Because why are you (a vampire) getting into bed, with a vampire hunter you JUST met sitted right next to you, stake laid across his lap?
Then zonking out immediately your head hits the pillow.
What level of 'may the chips fall where they may' is this?
I mean, it probably helped that said hunter juiced himself to feed Charlie a few minutes prior.
But still.
How trusting can you be to fall deeply asleep right next to the guy who literally hunted you down two nights in a row with a STAKE?!
We need a Vampire Regulatory Board. The standards for whom they're turning are dismal.
This same guy has been telling his friend every day(in every way) for three weeks now that he's a vampire. The secret only remains hidden because it's too absurd for the friend to believe it.
"You're just... unprecedented."
"That's a nice way of saying 'weird.'"
Simon sums him up nicely with this, because I really don't know how else to describe Charlie.
More questions.
What are the long term logistics of partnering with a vampire who can't control his fangs, especially when you kiss? Just make peace with every kiss tasting like shredded tongue?
Also, at what point are you fucking a rabbit? What percentage of him has to be in rabbit form before we say okay, that guy's totally fucking a rabbit?(because, yep. Our ridiculous vamp partially shifts when he's aroused sometimes)
"I live in constant danger of embarrassing myself to death."
Yes, baby. You do.
Anyway. I didn't hate this. But maybe I'm just bad vibes because instead of enjoying the romance (I swear, I sort of did for the first half), I spent most of the second half slightly annoyed by the plot.
The one interesting plot element to me was that Simon gave Charlie his first feeding, so in some sense took on the power that comes from being his sire. Which came with perks like compulsion. I wanted to see what a relationship would look like where one MC can make the other do pretty much whatever he wants(and the associated fallout) but that ended up getting nerfed in a very inglorious fashion.
So. Yeah.
But sure, the title is appropriate. Goodness, we really do need half ratings. 3 seems too favorable but 2 seems unnecessarily mean.
January 12, 2026
"Here he was, Charlie the vampire, turned as a joke, surviving on red sugar, and now about to become the world's most pathetic supernatural barbecue. They'd find his crispy remains up here eventually."
Hahahaha
May I interest you in:
🩸 paranormal MM romance
🧛🏼 hunter x vampire
🩸 grumpy xsunshine a walking disaster
🧛🏼 found family
🩸 dual POV
🧛🏼 overall stupid cute and entertaining (although I had some issues with Simon's behavior at times - but he gets better 🤐 no spoilers)
Hahahaha
May I interest you in:
🩸 paranormal MM romance
🧛🏼 hunter x vampire
🩸 grumpy x
🧛🏼 found family
🩸 dual POV
🧛🏼 overall stupid cute and entertaining (although I had some issues with Simon's behavior at times - but he gets better 🤐 no spoilers)
March 2, 2026
This was a lighthearted story about a vampire hunter falling for his very unvampire-like target. For it to be just over 400 pages, it remained surprisingly superficial, but I really liked Charlie, and there were some genuinely hilarious scenes that had me laughing out loud. Someone mentioned that this may have been written with the help of AI, and while I can definitively see why they'd think that (ngl I was thinking the same thing...), I'm not going to assume that's the case without proof.
POSSIBLE SPOILERS:
It would have been nice to know what made Charlie so special. As in, how was he able to survive three weeks without blood. Also, if Brent was the original target, why didn't the organization continue to go after him? Why did it matter that Charlie was turned? It didn't seem like him being turned (as a joke, mind you!) had anything to do with Brent, so that part of the story confused me. Also, it would have been nice to see Charlie's mom, but as I said earlier, the whole story was very surface level, so introducing that level of depth at the end would have been strange. 3 stars
"I can't stake you." The admission seemed torn from Simon's throat. "I've tried to convince myself I could. Tried to make you into something worth killing. But you're not." His hands tightened on Charlie's waist, holding him in place. "You're the only truly good person I've ever met and you're a vampire and that's breaking my brain."
POSSIBLE SPOILERS:
It would have been nice to know what made Charlie so special. As in, how was he able to survive three weeks without blood. Also, if Brent was the original target, why didn't the organization continue to go after him? Why did it matter that Charlie was turned? It didn't seem like him being turned (as a joke, mind you!) had anything to do with Brent, so that part of the story confused me. Also, it would have been nice to see Charlie's mom, but as I said earlier, the whole story was very surface level, so introducing that level of depth at the end would have been strange. 3 stars
"I can't stake you." The admission seemed torn from Simon's throat. "I've tried to convince myself I could. Tried to make you into something worth killing. But you're not." His hands tightened on Charlie's waist, holding him in place. "You're the only truly good person I've ever met and you're a vampire and that's breaking my brain."
January 20, 2026
HOW CAN YOU FUCK UP SOMETHING SO GOOD - an essay
The first 55% of this was fire. it was so good. it was an easy, EASY five star read. seriously, look at me in the eyes when i tell you this. LOOK AT ME. IT. WAS. AMAZING. Charlie was the most adorable thing i had read in my entire fucking life and i fucking loved him with all my fucking heart. Simon was hot and cool, and I was picturing him as Ri Jeung-Hyeok from Crash Landing on You for a number of reasons I don't want to disclose here. (He had a similar personality and job, and was also hot as fuck).
INSERT THIS LAME EXCUSE OF A VAMPIRE SHELTER and everything goes to fucking shit. i had forgiven and forgotten the lack of actual physical description of characters, as well as the messy writing style and timing of events, bc the romance was DE-LI-VER-ING. but this fucking shelter was what really did the trick.
UGH. Along with the plot absolutely decaying, the romance fell flatter than a (I CANT KEEP MAKING METAPHORS FOR FLAT ROMANCES youll have to imagine something flat). We had a sex scene that absolutely NO ONE NEEDED nor wanted, probably not even the characters who were so low spirited about it. Seriously what the fuck? God, I have read some pretty boring and formulaic sex scenes but this one has to take the podium. Specially because their first kiss was so cute and hot!!! I don't get it. How can you ruin something so good. Anyway.
I skimmed chapters until i finished this shit. For me, the book ends when they have their first kiss, and Charlie is so excited he grows a little bunny tail. HE COULD TURN INTO A BUNNY. HOW. CAN YOU. RUIN. A BUNNY VAMPIRE. I hope you can sense my frustration and absolute DISGUST through my words at this INSULT to fine literature. Charlie could turn into a beautiful adorable fluffy little bunny and you still found a way to fuck that up. it's actually quite impressive.
you wanna know what else is impressive? the plotholes. there were so many of them, i was surprised the couple wasnt fucking through them. yes, gross pun intended. but i guess they did fuck through them, which was kind of the problem.
Nooo oneeee needeeeed them to have seeeeeeex!!!!!!! makiiing theeeeem take a showeeeer togetheeeeer was MOOOREE than enooooouuuuughhhhh. really just one shower would've been great. but in this story nobody needs to take showers, brush their teeth, piss or poop or use a goddamn bathroom once for the LIFE of them.
now im just gonna unload it all here cause, well. here we go:
Where was Charlie's mom? She called him and he never answered, we knew nothing about that, or Charlie's backstory at all. HOW did Viktor have literally anything they needed at all times out of nowhere, from a phone in a no-technology retreat, to a ??contact?? in a private organization he used to be captive in, to a lot of stuff he had that i cant remember cause im sorry but how could i, my memory is not that perfect ok. which leads me to Noah's character, who was just a fucking joke. A JOKE. i'm done really
the whole book happens in a span of 4-5 days, every chapter covering maybe 3 hours max. now my question is, dear Silvana, wasnt it easier to:
1) make Simon LIE about having killed Charlie. literally no one was checking he was getting the job done. NO. ONE. Nobody. Nobody cared, as long as he reported back, but there he went and told them to wait???????????????? uhm?
2) let's say that after simon shows a little bit of cleverness and LIES, he hides Charlie in his home which coveniently didnt have any cameras, even though it belonged to the organization. pros of choosing to go with this instead of your useless idea: CHARLIE CAN TAKE A FUCKING SHOWER. yes, it bothered me that much. when they had sex at the shelter and it explicitly said he comes all over his chest and then puts his clothes on i was oficially pissed. and grossed out.
3) they find viktor and THEN they go to this retreat, with an actual plan, and then spend some DAAAAAYYYYYS THEEEERE????? (insert me screaming like Nick Sturniolo) SOOOO THAT!!!! THEY CAN ACTUALLY!!!!!! BE THEREEE!!!! FOR LONGER THAN 3 HOURS BEFORE THEY FIND OUT THE TRUTH ABOUT ITS CORRUPTION. hours. it took them just a fee hours to dismantle it all. and let's not forget that they were fucking for some of it. WHAT??? biggest what of whatland in whattish history.
fuck really why am i bothering to rewrite this piece of garbage IT IS ALREADY WRITTEN AND PUBLISHED, IM WASTING MY TIME. but it was such a good idea😩😩😫😫😫😭😭 CHARLIE TURNED INTO A BUNNY GUYS AND SHE RUINED IT
so just to summarize cause im an adult and i fesr im taking this shit way to seriously to the point im embarrassing myself.
Underdeveloped, underexplained and underplanned. Messy as fuck, with careless writing (she seems to have written the second half of this only using her feet). I'm surprised the end wasn't like:
"Simon and Charlie fought the Organization, they won by a miracle—don't ask how, it doesn't matter ok they just won dont worry—, they kissed, with all the dead bodies around them apparently cause why not, and then they left and lived happily ever after. The end."
Don't bite off more than you can chew, that's the best advice i can give to someone writing a silly book about a silly vampire. if it had been just about the silly vampire doing silly things, that would've been fine by me, even great. gimme a thousand scenes of charlie apologizing to furniture i dont GIVE A SHIT. but don't try to get all cool with an actual plot, cuz your laziness and lack of finesse is showing when you try to create a story you're not commited to tell. That's all.
The first 55% of this was fire. it was so good. it was an easy, EASY five star read. seriously, look at me in the eyes when i tell you this. LOOK AT ME. IT. WAS. AMAZING. Charlie was the most adorable thing i had read in my entire fucking life and i fucking loved him with all my fucking heart. Simon was hot and cool, and I was picturing him as Ri Jeung-Hyeok from Crash Landing on You for a number of reasons I don't want to disclose here. (He had a similar personality and job, and was also hot as fuck).
INSERT THIS LAME EXCUSE OF A VAMPIRE SHELTER and everything goes to fucking shit. i had forgiven and forgotten the lack of actual physical description of characters, as well as the messy writing style and timing of events, bc the romance was DE-LI-VER-ING. but this fucking shelter was what really did the trick.
UGH. Along with the plot absolutely decaying, the romance fell flatter than a (I CANT KEEP MAKING METAPHORS FOR FLAT ROMANCES youll have to imagine something flat). We had a sex scene that absolutely NO ONE NEEDED nor wanted, probably not even the characters who were so low spirited about it. Seriously what the fuck? God, I have read some pretty boring and formulaic sex scenes but this one has to take the podium. Specially because their first kiss was so cute and hot!!! I don't get it. How can you ruin something so good. Anyway.
I skimmed chapters until i finished this shit. For me, the book ends when they have their first kiss, and Charlie is so excited he grows a little bunny tail. HE COULD TURN INTO A BUNNY. HOW. CAN YOU. RUIN. A BUNNY VAMPIRE. I hope you can sense my frustration and absolute DISGUST through my words at this INSULT to fine literature. Charlie could turn into a beautiful adorable fluffy little bunny and you still found a way to fuck that up. it's actually quite impressive.
you wanna know what else is impressive? the plotholes. there were so many of them, i was surprised the couple wasnt fucking through them. yes, gross pun intended. but i guess they did fuck through them, which was kind of the problem.
Nooo oneeee needeeeed them to have seeeeeeex!!!!!!! makiiing theeeeem take a showeeeer togetheeeeer was MOOOREE than enooooouuuuughhhhh. really just one shower would've been great. but in this story nobody needs to take showers, brush their teeth, piss or poop or use a goddamn bathroom once for the LIFE of them.
now im just gonna unload it all here cause, well. here we go:
Where was Charlie's mom? She called him and he never answered, we knew nothing about that, or Charlie's backstory at all. HOW did Viktor have literally anything they needed at all times out of nowhere, from a phone in a no-technology retreat, to a ??contact?? in a private organization he used to be captive in, to a lot of stuff he had that i cant remember cause im sorry but how could i, my memory is not that perfect ok. which leads me to Noah's character, who was just a fucking joke. A JOKE. i'm done really
the whole book happens in a span of 4-5 days, every chapter covering maybe 3 hours max. now my question is, dear Silvana, wasnt it easier to:
1) make Simon LIE about having killed Charlie. literally no one was checking he was getting the job done. NO. ONE. Nobody. Nobody cared, as long as he reported back, but there he went and told them to wait???????????????? uhm?
2) let's say that after simon shows a little bit of cleverness and LIES, he hides Charlie in his home which coveniently didnt have any cameras, even though it belonged to the organization. pros of choosing to go with this instead of your useless idea: CHARLIE CAN TAKE A FUCKING SHOWER. yes, it bothered me that much. when they had sex at the shelter and it explicitly said he comes all over his chest and then puts his clothes on i was oficially pissed. and grossed out.
3) they find viktor and THEN they go to this retreat, with an actual plan, and then spend some DAAAAAYYYYYS THEEEERE????? (insert me screaming like Nick Sturniolo) SOOOO THAT!!!! THEY CAN ACTUALLY!!!!!! BE THEREEE!!!! FOR LONGER THAN 3 HOURS BEFORE THEY FIND OUT THE TRUTH ABOUT ITS CORRUPTION. hours. it took them just a fee hours to dismantle it all. and let's not forget that they were fucking for some of it. WHAT??? biggest what of whatland in whattish history.
fuck really why am i bothering to rewrite this piece of garbage IT IS ALREADY WRITTEN AND PUBLISHED, IM WASTING MY TIME. but it was such a good idea😩😩😫😫😫😭😭 CHARLIE TURNED INTO A BUNNY GUYS AND SHE RUINED IT
so just to summarize cause im an adult and i fesr im taking this shit way to seriously to the point im embarrassing myself.
Underdeveloped, underexplained and underplanned. Messy as fuck, with careless writing (she seems to have written the second half of this only using her feet). I'm surprised the end wasn't like:
"Simon and Charlie fought the Organization, they won by a miracle—don't ask how, it doesn't matter ok they just won dont worry—, they kissed, with all the dead bodies around them apparently cause why not, and then they left and lived happily ever after. The end."
Don't bite off more than you can chew, that's the best advice i can give to someone writing a silly book about a silly vampire. if it had been just about the silly vampire doing silly things, that would've been fine by me, even great. gimme a thousand scenes of charlie apologizing to furniture i dont GIVE A SHIT. but don't try to get all cool with an actual plot, cuz your laziness and lack of finesse is showing when you try to create a story you're not commited to tell. That's all.
February 15, 2026
I thought this was pretty cute and funny. More a vampire story than a romance, but still overall enjoyable.
June 23, 2026
Cute! Not my favorite, not my least favorite.
Honestly the characters felt juvenile enough that what spice was there, felt out of place. All of the characters feel surface level, which meant I didn’t feel any chemistry between our two MCs. It was a quick easy read though with some humor and sweetness.
Honestly the characters felt juvenile enough that what spice was there, felt out of place. All of the characters feel surface level, which meant I didn’t feel any chemistry between our two MCs. It was a quick easy read though with some humor and sweetness.
January 11, 2026
This was stupid cute! Loved it more than the first book tbh. Charlie and Simon were two characters I instantly fell in love with. Lighter on the spice but heavy on the story. I really enjoyed it!
Simon's story was so good. We got a fully developed backstory with "The Organization" and I REALLY got into my feels as Simon tested Charlie later in the book.
Charlie is a sweet angel, a clumsy little dude who just wants to live his life. He deserves sunshine.
Simon's story was so good. We got a fully developed backstory with "The Organization" and I REALLY got into my feels as Simon tested Charlie later in the book.
Charlie is a sweet angel, a clumsy little dude who just wants to live his life. He deserves sunshine.
January 2, 2026
Book 2 in the series. A 3.5 rather than a 4.
This one was not quite as cute as the first one - it was darker, higher stakes, more death.
In the end, I did end up forgiving Simon after finding out that he'd been
I feel like the last 35% of the book came too fast and there were some small inconsistencies. There was a lot to tie up and bring together and resolve. It worked, for the most part, but because it involved a lot more characters, it just couldn't be as clean and clear as the first one.
Noah remains a fave.
Looking forward to book 3 in May.
This one was not quite as cute as the first one - it was darker, higher stakes, more death.
In the end, I did end up forgiving Simon after finding out that he'd been
I feel like the last 35% of the book came too fast and there were some small inconsistencies. There was a lot to tie up and bring together and resolve. It worked, for the most part, but because it involved a lot more characters, it just couldn't be as clean and clear as the first one.
Noah remains a fave.
Looking forward to book 3 in May.
January 2, 2026
This book was an absolute blast! Awesome read! From start to finish it’s engaging, never a dull moment. It’s fast paced, the dialogue is very well balanced. Charlie the whimpiest vampire is not only cute, he is adorable and should be protected at all costs. Something the vampire hunter Simon reluctantly accepts. These two melted my heart, this is slow burn, nothing happens between them till 50% but it didn’t bother me, since it’s more plot heavy. It was very funny and entertaining book, absolutely recommend! Also can’t wait for the next
December 22, 2025
Well, I loved the hell out of this. I really loved the first book, and as soon as the last chapter teased this one, I knew it was gonna be a winner. The concept of this series (Noah matchmaking?) is so funny but it’s the characters that make you fall in love. Charlie is an absolute disaster of a vampire: faints at the sight of blood and is clumsy as anything. Simon is the hunter tasked with taking him down. But my goodness does it take a turn when you find out what’s going on behind the scenes. The romance is cute but sexy as hell (Simon’s dominance, hello!) and the intrigue around what’s going on will keep you hooked all the way to the end.
Thank you Booksprout for the ARC. This review is honest and voluntary.
Thank you Booksprout for the ARC. This review is honest and voluntary.
April 12, 2026
3.75 stars
June 10, 2026
Just as cute as the first one, a little less funny but still a delight. There are vampires so it's a little fucked up sometimes but that's how I like my vampires.
January 17, 2026
5 ⭐️ I absolutely adored this book!! Great plot, fast paced, lots of twists and turns. (But low in the romance department)
Though personally I needed a break from zero-plot-romances so this was the perfect palette cleanser!
Though personally I needed a break from zero-plot-romances so this was the perfect palette cleanser!
January 8, 2026
I loved the first book in this series, and was so excited to read the second. I’m an absolute sucker for a hot mess character, and Charlie definitely fits the bill.
Charlie has only recently become a vampire, and I think it’s nice to read a vampire romance without the age gap that usually goes along with the genre.
Simon is such a complex character, and I loved his arc and development. While Charlie is mostly straightforward, Simon has a long way to go and a lot of trauma to come to terms with.
Overall, this book was funny, romantic, and an absolute treat. I’m looking forward to future books in this series, as the “supernaturals that are bad at being supernaturals” is so fun to read and leaves me laughing at my kindle every time.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
Charlie has only recently become a vampire, and I think it’s nice to read a vampire romance without the age gap that usually goes along with the genre.
Simon is such a complex character, and I loved his arc and development. While Charlie is mostly straightforward, Simon has a long way to go and a lot of trauma to come to terms with.
Overall, this book was funny, romantic, and an absolute treat. I’m looking forward to future books in this series, as the “supernaturals that are bad at being supernaturals” is so fun to read and leaves me laughing at my kindle every time.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
April 29, 2026
This is AI. No really, I had my fair share with C.AI and the whole book is filled with AI phrases, repeating things and just AI. This was NOT written by a human, yeah sure the scenes may have been decided by a human. But HOW has no one noticed that this book is written by an AI…
April 7, 2026
3.5 ⭐️
loved the first half, the second was a bit too OTT though I for sure want to see Noah meet his match in the future 👀
loved the first half, the second was a bit too OTT though I for sure want to see Noah meet his match in the future 👀
January 20, 2026
Brent was such a freaking bro, I wanted him to be an MC.
Man, I felt so bad for Charlie. His life really did suck. It made Simon showing him mercy feel bittersweet because it was nice that he caught a break, but it also just emphasized how shitty his situation was.
Simon going easy on Charlie felt natural thankfully. He wasn't characterized as so anti-vampire that he was willing to KoS Charlie. I liked that we got some justification for him doubting the organization to not kill Charlie immediately.
I liked the story up until Simon kissed Charlie. Everything was written well to show that Simon was clearly trying to fight against his programming and take care of Charlie. I loved seeing that but it didn't really come across as romantic, it was just protective a lá protecting an innocent person or a young child. That, plus the lack of attraction shown from Simon's POV made the kiss feel like it came out of nowhere. Also, I needed him to apologize more for because that was heinous. It honestly made me a little sick seeing that scene followed by a kiss because it just made Charlie look like he was showing affection to stop the abuse.
wasn't really fun. I'd have liked it better if divine intervention wasn't a thing, but I suppose that sort of comes with the supernatural genre. Him also being the end-all "I have contacts that can get deal with the aftermath was pretty boring. If he had that much power, then why let things go on for so long? I know it's "the mystery of the divine" BS but that doesn't make the conclusion any less contrived.
TL;DR: Romance was kind of lacking tbh. You could've ripped out the sex and kissing scenes (yes, even that last one) and told me that Charlie and Simon were just best friends and the story would've been fine, which honestly tells you about how unintegral the romance was. Also, everything from when shows up felt very juvenile and too easy (an intentional choice from the author, but one that I'm not a fan of). Everything else was pretty good. Decent emotion, good characterization, actual stakes. 3.5 stars rounded down though because the romance needed more oomph.
Man, I felt so bad for Charlie. His life really did suck. It made Simon showing him mercy feel bittersweet because it was nice that he caught a break, but it also just emphasized how shitty his situation was.
Simon going easy on Charlie felt natural thankfully. He wasn't characterized as so anti-vampire that he was willing to KoS Charlie. I liked that we got some justification for him doubting the organization to not kill Charlie immediately.
I liked the story up until Simon kissed Charlie. Everything was written well to show that Simon was clearly trying to fight against his programming and take care of Charlie. I loved seeing that but it didn't really come across as romantic, it was just protective a lá protecting an innocent person or a young child. That, plus the lack of attraction shown from Simon's POV made the kiss feel like it came out of nowhere. Also, I needed him to apologize more for because that was heinous. It honestly made me a little sick seeing that scene followed by a kiss because it just made Charlie look like he was showing affection to stop the abuse.
wasn't really fun. I'd have liked it better if divine intervention wasn't a thing, but I suppose that sort of comes with the supernatural genre. Him also being the end-all "I have contacts that can get deal with the aftermath was pretty boring. If he had that much power, then why let things go on for so long? I know it's "the mystery of the divine" BS but that doesn't make the conclusion any less contrived.
TL;DR: Romance was kind of lacking tbh. You could've ripped out the sex and kissing scenes (yes, even that last one) and told me that Charlie and Simon were just best friends and the story would've been fine, which honestly tells you about how unintegral the romance was. Also, everything from when shows up felt very juvenile and too easy (an intentional choice from the author, but one that I'm not a fan of). Everything else was pretty good. Decent emotion, good characterization, actual stakes. 3.5 stars rounded down though because the romance needed more oomph.
January 15, 2026
Oh my sweet little Charlie. What a rough go he’s had of it. He was turned into a vampire three weeks previously, as a drunken joke, and then left to fend for himself. Poor guy faints at the site of blood, so to be a vampire is the worst thing possible. Simon is a vampire hunter sent to kill Charlie under the assumption he’s been on a violent streak. Simon soon learns Charlie is not the least bit violent or even capable of feeding himself blood.
I loved Charlie so much, the description of how he escaped from Simon the first time by being so freaked out he used his super speed. Rather than skillfully run away, he bounced around the room off of walls and knocked things over. That cracked me up. I was so happy when Simon’s protective instincts came out in regards to Charlie and he felt the need to take care of him. Their attraction to one another was so cute.
There is an underlying sinister plot going on with the company Simon works for, and things take a dangerous turn. I don’t want to give anything away, but the animal Charlie is able to turn into is hilarious and fits him perfectly. This book was cute and had a great story as well. I look forward to the next one that takes place in the same universe.
No third act breakup
4/5 on the Spicy Scale
M/M
Violence
Paranormal Romance
I loved Charlie so much, the description of how he escaped from Simon the first time by being so freaked out he used his super speed. Rather than skillfully run away, he bounced around the room off of walls and knocked things over. That cracked me up. I was so happy when Simon’s protective instincts came out in regards to Charlie and he felt the need to take care of him. Their attraction to one another was so cute.
There is an underlying sinister plot going on with the company Simon works for, and things take a dangerous turn. I don’t want to give anything away, but the animal Charlie is able to turn into is hilarious and fits him perfectly. This book was cute and had a great story as well. I look forward to the next one that takes place in the same universe.
No third act breakup
4/5 on the Spicy Scale
M/M
Violence
Paranormal Romance
January 21, 2026
This was a fun read and super cute!
February 20, 2026
4.5. I read this book fast like really fast for 400ish pages. It was funny and cute.
March 13, 2026
3.5/5
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