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Vampires Totally Suck
NOTE: Vampires Totally Suck has been significantly revamped for this release. Even if you read the original story as part of the Creepy Court anthology, you WILL need to read it anew before proceeding to Part Three.
1985
You might think I put in my application at Sizzling Discourse for the employee discount on fishnets, studded wristbands, and pitch-black lipstick… and you would be right.
You also might think I took the job because the two guys who work here are totally hot.
But you’d be dead wrong.
Yeah, Damon looks the part—all tall, dark and broody, with skin so pale and lips so red, you’d swear he was a teen vampire—but it’s obviously an act to lure in customers.
And then there’s Max. He’s friendly, always smiling, and dresses like a major fashion victim. Like, who wears straw fedoras and Hawaiian shirts in a goth store?
I know this is California, but read the room, loser.
Whatever. I have bigger things to worry about than two wannabes. My psycho ex-bestie is stalking me, which is hella weird considering she’s supposedly “flourishing” after passing off my talent as her own…
Seriously, what is her damage?
When things take a turn with the guys, long-buried secrets come to light, and suddenly, I no longer want to go down without a fight.
Whoever thinks they can mess with what’s mine can bite me.
----
IF YOU LOVE (full list of Content/Triggers coming to the author's website soon):
• Vampire romance
• 1980s mall vibes
• Polyam MMF with an established MM couple
• A snarky Valley Girl turned goth heroine
• A Hawaiian print-wearing sunshine vampire who’s filthy in bed
• A broody boy vampire who’s totally emo
• Pretty girls (and boys) who love makeup
• “I bit her/him so they’re mine”
• Repeated defiling of the satin lining of various coffins
• P*ssy worship and DVP with pierced equipment
• Murd3r as a love language
• Sweary dialogue & dark humor mixed with k!nk & big feels (per usual)
Then take an epic journey with Damon, Max, and Star in Vampires Totally Suck!
----
Vampires Totally Suck is part two in the Trinity of Blood vampire romance MM to MMF saga. There will be three time jumps (1885, 1985, and present day) for these immortal characters as they follow their fate and face the demons on their trail.
1985
You might think I put in my application at Sizzling Discourse for the employee discount on fishnets, studded wristbands, and pitch-black lipstick… and you would be right.
You also might think I took the job because the two guys who work here are totally hot.
But you’d be dead wrong.
Yeah, Damon looks the part—all tall, dark and broody, with skin so pale and lips so red, you’d swear he was a teen vampire—but it’s obviously an act to lure in customers.
And then there’s Max. He’s friendly, always smiling, and dresses like a major fashion victim. Like, who wears straw fedoras and Hawaiian shirts in a goth store?
I know this is California, but read the room, loser.
Whatever. I have bigger things to worry about than two wannabes. My psycho ex-bestie is stalking me, which is hella weird considering she’s supposedly “flourishing” after passing off my talent as her own…
Seriously, what is her damage?
When things take a turn with the guys, long-buried secrets come to light, and suddenly, I no longer want to go down without a fight.
Whoever thinks they can mess with what’s mine can bite me.
----
IF YOU LOVE (full list of Content/Triggers coming to the author's website soon):
• Vampire romance
• 1980s mall vibes
• Polyam MMF with an established MM couple
• A snarky Valley Girl turned goth heroine
• A Hawaiian print-wearing sunshine vampire who’s filthy in bed
• A broody boy vampire who’s totally emo
• Pretty girls (and boys) who love makeup
• “I bit her/him so they’re mine”
• Repeated defiling of the satin lining of various coffins
• P*ssy worship and DVP with pierced equipment
• Murd3r as a love language
• Sweary dialogue & dark humor mixed with k!nk & big feels (per usual)
Then take an epic journey with Damon, Max, and Star in Vampires Totally Suck!
----
Vampires Totally Suck is part two in the Trinity of Blood vampire romance MM to MMF saga. There will be three time jumps (1885, 1985, and present day) for these immortal characters as they follow their fate and face the demons on their trail.
First published February 1, 2026
4 people are currently reading
38 people want to read
About the author
C. Rochelle
37 books1,676 followersLaugh, Cry & Clench Your Thighs!
Stay connected by joining my Clubhouse of Smut on Patreon, my Little Sinners FB Group, subscribing to my newsletter, and lovingly st@lking me in all the places: https://c-rochelle.com/
C. Rochelle here! I’m a naughty but sweet, introverted, Aquarius weirdo who believes a sharp sense of humor is the sexiest trait, loves shaking my booty to Prince, and have never met a cheese I didn’t like. Oh, and I write spicy Paranormal/Sci-Fi/Monster Why Choose + MM, MFF & MMF romance with dark, naughty humor and a #loveislove mentality.
Stay connected by joining my Clubhouse of Smut on Patreon, my Little Sinners FB Group, subscribing to my newsletter, and lovingly st@lking me in all the places: https://c-rochelle.com/
C. Rochelle here! I’m a naughty but sweet, introverted, Aquarius weirdo who believes a sharp sense of humor is the sexiest trait, loves shaking my booty to Prince, and have never met a cheese I didn’t like. Oh, and I write spicy Paranormal/Sci-Fi/Monster Why Choose + MM, MFF & MMF romance with dark, naughty humor and a #loveislove mentality.
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
February 17, 2026
This was an 80’s goth vampire, hot and horny, revenge plot dream come true.
100 years after the Old West events of Bury Me With My Boots On Damon and Max are back in America, living in 1980’s LA, & running the goth store Sizzling Discourse. Their already emotionally turbulent relationship (due to past hurts ruining present happiness) is rocked even further with the introduction of Star, a snarky new employee and third mate for the couple.
This was EVERYTHING I wanted and more. 80’s nostalgia, witty banter, grumpy mates, sizzling spice, and a plot right out of the best Blockbuster movie.
Seeing the mean girl get what’s coming to them was so satisfying… think Heathers vibes but with scorching hot vampires and blood play. Throw in piercings, a pleasure Dom who worships his mates, a meddling Coven, a werewolf pack who owes you a favor, and beautiful and nuanced polyamory and you have this truly perfect novella.
And the best part? We get a third and final part set 40 years later in the witchy woods of Maine!
What you’ll get:
•MM to MMF
•Polyamory + Bi Rep
•Vampires
•Sunshine/Grumpy/Sassy
•1980’s Mall Vibes
•Mates
•Hurt/Comfort
•Ex BFF Mean Girl Villain
•Insecurities
•Murder as a Love Language
•Protective MCs
•Pleasure Dom and 2 Switches
•Blood Play
•Piercings
100 years after the Old West events of Bury Me With My Boots On Damon and Max are back in America, living in 1980’s LA, & running the goth store Sizzling Discourse. Their already emotionally turbulent relationship (due to past hurts ruining present happiness) is rocked even further with the introduction of Star, a snarky new employee and third mate for the couple.
This was EVERYTHING I wanted and more. 80’s nostalgia, witty banter, grumpy mates, sizzling spice, and a plot right out of the best Blockbuster movie.
Seeing the mean girl get what’s coming to them was so satisfying… think Heathers vibes but with scorching hot vampires and blood play. Throw in piercings, a pleasure Dom who worships his mates, a meddling Coven, a werewolf pack who owes you a favor, and beautiful and nuanced polyamory and you have this truly perfect novella.
And the best part? We get a third and final part set 40 years later in the witchy woods of Maine!
What you’ll get:
•MM to MMF
•Polyamory + Bi Rep
•Vampires
•Sunshine/Grumpy/Sassy
•1980’s Mall Vibes
•Mates
•Hurt/Comfort
•Ex BFF Mean Girl Villain
•Insecurities
•Murder as a Love Language
•Protective MCs
•Pleasure Dom and 2 Switches
•Blood Play
•Piercings
February 7, 2026
Series: Trinity of Blood #2
Rating: 4 stars - It was really good
After reading the previous book, I couldn’t wait to get my hands on this because I need more of Max and Damon. It’s been 100 years since they met, and now they are owners of a gothic clothing store called Sizzling Discourse, which wasn’t what I was expecting them to be doing. I also wasn’t expecting them to be having a bit of relationship issues, but I should have since Damon struggled with his insecurities in the first book.
These two still love each other so much but Damon has let his insecurities about being wanted and loved forever get into his head. He also is struggling with wanting to submit completely to Max but being afraid to let himself. I love Damon so much and it hurts to see that he has been struggling for so long with his insecurities and fear of rejection, especially when Max worships him. While a third won’t fix their issues, we do see that it helps Damon accept himself a little more and finally let Max in, which I was so happy with.
That leads us to Star, who was fantastic. I loved her so much, especially since she was finally being true to herself and embracing the style she really wanted. She was bold, sassy, and just so accepting of everything. While she won’t fix all of Max and Damon’s problems, we do see that she helps them be able to start to work through the issues, which is fantastic. I also really loved how bloodthirst Star ended up being and that she let Max take out the trash of an ex-best friend.
Basically, this was a fantastic and steamy continuation of this series. I am really loving these three and look forward to reading the next book to see how their relationship progresses. Also I really love how these are all set in different eras and we can see the progression of their relationships, style, and personalities.
TW: use of derogatory terms (whore, slut, etc.); death of parents mentioned; stalker and emotionally abusive ex-friend; violence, blood and gore;
Rating: 4 stars - It was really good
After reading the previous book, I couldn’t wait to get my hands on this because I need more of Max and Damon. It’s been 100 years since they met, and now they are owners of a gothic clothing store called Sizzling Discourse, which wasn’t what I was expecting them to be doing. I also wasn’t expecting them to be having a bit of relationship issues, but I should have since Damon struggled with his insecurities in the first book.
These two still love each other so much but Damon has let his insecurities about being wanted and loved forever get into his head. He also is struggling with wanting to submit completely to Max but being afraid to let himself. I love Damon so much and it hurts to see that he has been struggling for so long with his insecurities and fear of rejection, especially when Max worships him. While a third won’t fix their issues, we do see that it helps Damon accept himself a little more and finally let Max in, which I was so happy with.
That leads us to Star, who was fantastic. I loved her so much, especially since she was finally being true to herself and embracing the style she really wanted. She was bold, sassy, and just so accepting of everything. While she won’t fix all of Max and Damon’s problems, we do see that she helps them be able to start to work through the issues, which is fantastic. I also really loved how bloodthirst Star ended up being and that she let Max take out the trash of an ex-best friend.
Basically, this was a fantastic and steamy continuation of this series. I am really loving these three and look forward to reading the next book to see how their relationship progresses. Also I really love how these are all set in different eras and we can see the progression of their relationships, style, and personalities.
TW: use of derogatory terms (whore, slut, etc.); death of parents mentioned; stalker and emotionally abusive ex-friend; violence, blood and gore;
February 10, 2026
What a hoot! The 1980’s definitely delivered and the second book in this trilogy is so good.
I think romance readers are used to the HEA and we don’t always think what happens to the couple when the book ends. So getting a peek behind the curtain (or coffin) feels intriguing, fresh and delightful. Max and Damon have been together for a century by this point and things aren’t always full of roses. They have their insecurities and vulnerabilities and see them explored on page was done extremely well. Yes, even after a century of being with your mate doesn’t mean you are the perfect couple.
What I really enjoyed seeing was that even if there were wrinkles in the love between our two vampires, they still talked with each other about adding Star into the mix. There was consent and the green light was given before Max hovered over to see her which I appreciated a lot.
C. definitely knows how to bring up the heat and spice in the book while making it feel safe. Does that make sense? I mean that even though the books are kinky and spicy and can be a lot from first glance, I always feel like I’m informed and taken care of (like the characters in C. books because care, consent and communication is so important!) I can’t wait to see what the 2020’s will bring to our throuple and how their bedroom antics will go up 🔥
Yes, this book had a lot of spice but it also has a decent amount of plot. I found Star’s story both heavy and light and it fit the mood of the book really well. There are heavier moments, especially when it comes to her ex-friend, but also I love that she blossomed as she had reinvented herself. Kudos for that, it was well done for sure.
I think romance readers are used to the HEA and we don’t always think what happens to the couple when the book ends. So getting a peek behind the curtain (or coffin) feels intriguing, fresh and delightful. Max and Damon have been together for a century by this point and things aren’t always full of roses. They have their insecurities and vulnerabilities and see them explored on page was done extremely well. Yes, even after a century of being with your mate doesn’t mean you are the perfect couple.
What I really enjoyed seeing was that even if there were wrinkles in the love between our two vampires, they still talked with each other about adding Star into the mix. There was consent and the green light was given before Max hovered over to see her which I appreciated a lot.
C. definitely knows how to bring up the heat and spice in the book while making it feel safe. Does that make sense? I mean that even though the books are kinky and spicy and can be a lot from first glance, I always feel like I’m informed and taken care of (like the characters in C. books because care, consent and communication is so important!) I can’t wait to see what the 2020’s will bring to our throuple and how their bedroom antics will go up 🔥
Yes, this book had a lot of spice but it also has a decent amount of plot. I found Star’s story both heavy and light and it fit the mood of the book really well. There are heavier moments, especially when it comes to her ex-friend, but also I love that she blossomed as she had reinvented herself. Kudos for that, it was well done for sure.
February 7, 2026
4.25 stars
🌶️🌶️.5
It's a fun continuation of Max and Damon's story, adding Star to the mix! I had mixed feelings. On one hand I didn't like them constantly talking about 'the third', it felt a bit too much like Unicorn hunting. But I do looove an MMF (and Star is a good and fun addition!). I also didn't like the insinuation that Star was needed to get Damon's head out of his assand realise his true potential and feelings and stuff. Though, Rochelle does write at some point that 'both men still had to work through their issues separately from Star'.
I loved the eighties slang and references and the ex-bestie being called Heather 🤭
Star, like Damon in book 1, was on the whole vampire train very quickly and without a whole lot of forethought 🤣 But of course in 150 pages you gotta work fast. 😆 All in all, a quick, fun and spicy ride! Can't wait to see what comes next!
🌶️🌶️.5
It's a fun continuation of Max and Damon's story, adding Star to the mix! I had mixed feelings. On one hand I didn't like them constantly talking about 'the third', it felt a bit too much like Unicorn hunting. But I do looove an MMF (and Star is a good and fun addition!). I also didn't like the insinuation that Star was needed to get Damon's head out of his assand realise his true potential and feelings and stuff. Though, Rochelle does write at some point that 'both men still had to work through their issues separately from Star'.
I loved the eighties slang and references and the ex-bestie being called Heather 🤭
Star, like Damon in book 1, was on the whole vampire train very quickly and without a whole lot of forethought 🤣 But of course in 150 pages you gotta work fast. 😆 All in all, a quick, fun and spicy ride! Can't wait to see what comes next!
February 8, 2026
This second installment of the Trinity of Blood trilogy was so good! We get a continuation of Max and Damon’s story as they navigate more modern times (the totally rad 1980’s.)
Max and Damon own a little shop at one of the local malls that sells gothic style clothes and accessories. One day, a girl comes in to interview and their little duo becomes a trio.
Star is immediately pulled into their gravitational pull and they begin to explore what could be.
This book isn’t without its villain.. and she is a bleach blond nightmare hell bent on ruining Star.
Max and Damon own a little shop at one of the local malls that sells gothic style clothes and accessories. One day, a girl comes in to interview and their little duo becomes a trio.
Star is immediately pulled into their gravitational pull and they begin to explore what could be.
This book isn’t without its villain.. and she is a bleach blond nightmare hell bent on ruining Star.
February 6, 2026
I really enjoyed this novella, despite how long it took me to read! 🫣
All the consent, which I always love! Plus, it’s basically 80s mall vampires; what’s not to love?!?
Though, I feel about one thousand years old because the author has a glossary of terms at the back and I already knew what every one meant.
I can’t wait for the third, and last, instalment to come out in a few weeks!
All the consent, which I always love! Plus, it’s basically 80s mall vampires; what’s not to love?!?
Though, I feel about one thousand years old because the author has a glossary of terms at the back and I already knew what every one meant.
I can’t wait for the third, and last, instalment to come out in a few weeks!
February 3, 2026
Sign me up for every thing from this author!!! Give me more of this, queer vampires a new shiny Star 😍😍😍 This author is slowly feeding us with this series and cannot wait for the finale
February 3, 2026
Such a fun refresh of the former short story. Love the new bloodier ending.
February 6, 2026
Yum this book was freaking so good! I absolutely loved it. I love that these 2 added a third to their already fun and spicy relationship! Can you say hawt!?
February 16, 2026
Something about 80s mall vibes, I go for it everytime. Add in vampires and some healthy relationship work? Hell yeah.
February 16, 2026
The 80s vibes here are *immaculate* and I adore these idiots in love vampires adding their hot third. Star is a delight, and I love the dynamic betwixt her, grumpy Damon, and Daddy Dom Max.
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews