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Barking Orders: A Dog’s Diary of Chaos, Loyalty, and Squirrel Surveillance
Humans think they’re in charge.
Adorable, really.
Roxy is a Black Heeler. A working breed. A professional. A creature designed to maintain order while the people in her house wander around inventing hobbies, losing socks, and acting shocked when the mailman shows up again.
Barking Orders is Roxy’s official report on managing a modern household in Toronto, where every day includes at least one of the
an attempted squirrel invasion
a vacuum monster with cable entanglement disorder
a “quick pee” that turns into a full perimeter sweep
a mysterious disappearance of food that was clearly left unattended on purpose
a human who thinks a “fake throw” is funny
Told in short, sharp chapters, this book is a hilarious, sensory, nose-first look at domestic life through the eyes of a dog who takes security, snacks, and supervision very seriously.
You’ll
the human Roxy chose to adopt (and train)
the wife, who believes in rules until the dog breaks them
Cooper (a colleague, sometimes)
and the many enemies of the household, including weather, delivery drivers, and anything that dares to exist near the hydrangeas
If you’ve ever been judged by your dog, audited by your dog, or followed to the bathroom by your dog, you already know the
You don’t own a cattle dog.
You work for one.
Barking Orders is for dog people who like their humor dry, their chapters quick, and their “aww” moments earned, not forced.
Adorable, really.
Roxy is a Black Heeler. A working breed. A professional. A creature designed to maintain order while the people in her house wander around inventing hobbies, losing socks, and acting shocked when the mailman shows up again.
Barking Orders is Roxy’s official report on managing a modern household in Toronto, where every day includes at least one of the
an attempted squirrel invasion
a vacuum monster with cable entanglement disorder
a “quick pee” that turns into a full perimeter sweep
a mysterious disappearance of food that was clearly left unattended on purpose
a human who thinks a “fake throw” is funny
Told in short, sharp chapters, this book is a hilarious, sensory, nose-first look at domestic life through the eyes of a dog who takes security, snacks, and supervision very seriously.
You’ll
the human Roxy chose to adopt (and train)
the wife, who believes in rules until the dog breaks them
Cooper (a colleague, sometimes)
and the many enemies of the household, including weather, delivery drivers, and anything that dares to exist near the hydrangeas
If you’ve ever been judged by your dog, audited by your dog, or followed to the bathroom by your dog, you already know the
You don’t own a cattle dog.
You work for one.
Barking Orders is for dog people who like their humor dry, their chapters quick, and their “aww” moments earned, not forced.
140 pages, Kindle Edition
Published January 4, 2026
1 person is currently reading
15 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
January 25, 2026
I picked this up expecting a cute dog story. What I got was a masterclass in comedic timing, heartfelt loyalty, and the most accurate depiction of human-dog relationships.
Roxy isn't just narrating her life—she's conducting a full-scale anthropological study on the peculiar mammals she's chosen to manage. From the opening line ("Humans think they're in charge. Adorable, really."), I was hooked. Her voice is sharp, witty, and absolutely dripping with the kind of confidence only a cattle dog could possess.
The chapter titles alone are worth the price of admission: "The Great Bath Betrayal," "Operation Squirrel Surveillance," "The Dishwasher Affair," and my personal favorite, "The Satellite of Shame" (if you've ever put a cone on a pet, prepare to feel judged). Each one delivers exactly what it promises, plus a healthy dose of chaos and unconditional love.
What makes this book special isn't just the humor—though I genuinely laughed out loud multiple times, especially during the fake throw analysis and the pickleball invasion saga. It's the surprisingly touching moments woven throughout. Roxy's unwavering presence during her human's dark moment perfectly captures what dogs do best: they stay. They guard the silence. They remind us we're not alone.
Roxy's observations about daily life—from breakfast warfare to doorbell diplomacy—feel both hilariously exaggerated and deeply true. Any dog owner will recognize their pet in these pages, whether it's the strategic sock theft, the leash conspiracy theories, or the inexplicable hatred of the vacuum cleaner.
This book is perfect for dog lovers, anyone who's ever lost a battle with their pet, people who appreciate dry humor with a side of fur, and humans who need reminding that they're not actually in charge.
Whether you're a dog person, a cat person (Roxy has opinions about you), or just someone who enjoys sharp, funny writing with genuine heart, this book delivers. It's a quick, delightful read that somehow manages to be both ridiculous and profound.
Roxy isn't just narrating her life—she's conducting a full-scale anthropological study on the peculiar mammals she's chosen to manage. From the opening line ("Humans think they're in charge. Adorable, really."), I was hooked. Her voice is sharp, witty, and absolutely dripping with the kind of confidence only a cattle dog could possess.
The chapter titles alone are worth the price of admission: "The Great Bath Betrayal," "Operation Squirrel Surveillance," "The Dishwasher Affair," and my personal favorite, "The Satellite of Shame" (if you've ever put a cone on a pet, prepare to feel judged). Each one delivers exactly what it promises, plus a healthy dose of chaos and unconditional love.
What makes this book special isn't just the humor—though I genuinely laughed out loud multiple times, especially during the fake throw analysis and the pickleball invasion saga. It's the surprisingly touching moments woven throughout. Roxy's unwavering presence during her human's dark moment perfectly captures what dogs do best: they stay. They guard the silence. They remind us we're not alone.
Roxy's observations about daily life—from breakfast warfare to doorbell diplomacy—feel both hilariously exaggerated and deeply true. Any dog owner will recognize their pet in these pages, whether it's the strategic sock theft, the leash conspiracy theories, or the inexplicable hatred of the vacuum cleaner.
This book is perfect for dog lovers, anyone who's ever lost a battle with their pet, people who appreciate dry humor with a side of fur, and humans who need reminding that they're not actually in charge.
Whether you're a dog person, a cat person (Roxy has opinions about you), or just someone who enjoys sharp, funny writing with genuine heart, this book delivers. It's a quick, delightful read that somehow manages to be both ridiculous and profound.
January 20, 2026
Barking Orders by Roxy the Cattle Dog is just flat‑out adorable. From the first page, Roxy’s personality comes through loud and clear—she’s bossy, hilarious, and totally sure she’s the smartest one in the room (and honestly, she might be).
The whole book feels like sitting on a porch with a ridiculously charming dog who has opinions about everything: the humans she works with, the trouble they get into, and the daily chaos she somehow manages to keep under control. I laughed a ton, and there were a few surprisingly sweet moments that hit right in the feels.
If you love dogs and stories told with a ton of heart and humor, this book is an easy win. Roxy’s voice is unique, lovable, and impossible to forget. Can’t wait for whatever she “writes” next!.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
The whole book feels like sitting on a porch with a ridiculously charming dog who has opinions about everything: the humans she works with, the trouble they get into, and the daily chaos she somehow manages to keep under control. I laughed a ton, and there were a few surprisingly sweet moments that hit right in the feels.
If you love dogs and stories told with a ton of heart and humor, this book is an easy win. Roxy’s voice is unique, lovable, and impossible to forget. Can’t wait for whatever she “writes” next!.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
February 2, 2026
I first have to say, I am a cat person. I was offered an opportunity to read this book and thought why not. Well I don't remember laughing so much while reading a book. Roxy and her human tell a great story. I could write so much more, but you really just need to read the book and fall in love with Roxy.
I received an advanced review copy for free, and am leaving this review voluntarily.
I received an advanced review copy for free, and am leaving this review voluntarily.
January 27, 2026
I received a free copy from Booksprout and I'm willingly leaving a review
Short and sweet. It starts funny and goes from there. I don't recall laughing out loud but I know I smiled the whole time I was sitting down and read. Long Live Roxy the Almighty!
Short and sweet. It starts funny and goes from there. I don't recall laughing out loud but I know I smiled the whole time I was sitting down and read. Long Live Roxy the Almighty!
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews