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Barking Orders: A Dog’s Diary of Chaos, Loyalty, and Squirrel Surveillance
Humans think they’re in charge.
Adorable, really.
Roxy is a Black Heeler. A working breed. A professional. A creature designed to maintain order while the people in her house wander around inventing hobbies, losing socks, and acting shocked when the mailman shows up again.
Barking Orders is Roxy’s official report on managing a modern household in Toronto, where every day includes at least one of the
an attempted squirrel invasion
a vacuum monster with cable entanglement disorder
a “quick pee” that turns into a full perimeter sweep
a mysterious disappearance of food that was clearly left unattended on purpose
a human who thinks a “fake throw” is funny
Told in short, sharp chapters, this book is a hilarious, sensory, nose-first look at domestic life through the eyes of a dog who takes security, snacks, and supervision very seriously.
You’ll
the human Roxy chose to adopt (and train)
the wife, who believes in rules until the dog breaks them
Cooper (a colleague, sometimes)
and the many enemies of the household, including weather, delivery drivers, and anything that dares to exist near the hydrangeas
If you’ve ever been judged by your dog, audited by your dog, or followed to the bathroom by your dog, you already know the
You don’t own a cattle dog.
You work for one.
Barking Orders is for dog people who like their humor dry, their chapters quick, and their “aww” moments earned, not forced.
Adorable, really.
Roxy is a Black Heeler. A working breed. A professional. A creature designed to maintain order while the people in her house wander around inventing hobbies, losing socks, and acting shocked when the mailman shows up again.
Barking Orders is Roxy’s official report on managing a modern household in Toronto, where every day includes at least one of the
an attempted squirrel invasion
a vacuum monster with cable entanglement disorder
a “quick pee” that turns into a full perimeter sweep
a mysterious disappearance of food that was clearly left unattended on purpose
a human who thinks a “fake throw” is funny
Told in short, sharp chapters, this book is a hilarious, sensory, nose-first look at domestic life through the eyes of a dog who takes security, snacks, and supervision very seriously.
You’ll
the human Roxy chose to adopt (and train)
the wife, who believes in rules until the dog breaks them
Cooper (a colleague, sometimes)
and the many enemies of the household, including weather, delivery drivers, and anything that dares to exist near the hydrangeas
If you’ve ever been judged by your dog, audited by your dog, or followed to the bathroom by your dog, you already know the
You don’t own a cattle dog.
You work for one.
Barking Orders is for dog people who like their humor dry, their chapters quick, and their “aww” moments earned, not forced.
140 pages, Kindle Edition
Published January 4, 2026
2 people are currently reading
24 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
March 5, 2026
Barking Orders is a must read for dog lovers!
Let's be clear, Barking Orders is just a mindless fun read.
This book functions as a journal from typical dog, and each chapter is a different entry from the dogs point of view that is just so funny to read. Every single chapter of this book had me laughing out loud.
To give you a preview let me provide you my favorite quote, "I am justice in fur form." This quote and everything around it will certainly serve to entertain.
Barking Orders just made me happy.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
Let's be clear, Barking Orders is just a mindless fun read.
This book functions as a journal from typical dog, and each chapter is a different entry from the dogs point of view that is just so funny to read. Every single chapter of this book had me laughing out loud.
To give you a preview let me provide you my favorite quote, "I am justice in fur form." This quote and everything around it will certainly serve to entertain.
Barking Orders just made me happy.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
January 25, 2026
I picked this up expecting a cute dog story. What I got was a masterclass in comedic timing, heartfelt loyalty, and the most accurate depiction of human-dog relationships.
Roxy isn't just narrating her life—she's conducting a full-scale anthropological study on the peculiar mammals she's chosen to manage. From the opening line ("Humans think they're in charge. Adorable, really."), I was hooked. Her voice is sharp, witty, and absolutely dripping with the kind of confidence only a cattle dog could possess.
The chapter titles alone are worth the price of admission: "The Great Bath Betrayal," "Operation Squirrel Surveillance," "The Dishwasher Affair," and my personal favorite, "The Satellite of Shame" (if you've ever put a cone on a pet, prepare to feel judged). Each one delivers exactly what it promises, plus a healthy dose of chaos and unconditional love.
What makes this book special isn't just the humor—though I genuinely laughed out loud multiple times, especially during the fake throw analysis and the pickleball invasion saga. It's the surprisingly touching moments woven throughout. Roxy's unwavering presence during her human's dark moment perfectly captures what dogs do best: they stay. They guard the silence. They remind us we're not alone.
Roxy's observations about daily life—from breakfast warfare to doorbell diplomacy—feel both hilariously exaggerated and deeply true. Any dog owner will recognize their pet in these pages, whether it's the strategic sock theft, the leash conspiracy theories, or the inexplicable hatred of the vacuum cleaner.
This book is perfect for dog lovers, anyone who's ever lost a battle with their pet, people who appreciate dry humor with a side of fur, and humans who need reminding that they're not actually in charge.
Whether you're a dog person, a cat person (Roxy has opinions about you), or just someone who enjoys sharp, funny writing with genuine heart, this book delivers. It's a quick, delightful read that somehow manages to be both ridiculous and profound.
Roxy isn't just narrating her life—she's conducting a full-scale anthropological study on the peculiar mammals she's chosen to manage. From the opening line ("Humans think they're in charge. Adorable, really."), I was hooked. Her voice is sharp, witty, and absolutely dripping with the kind of confidence only a cattle dog could possess.
The chapter titles alone are worth the price of admission: "The Great Bath Betrayal," "Operation Squirrel Surveillance," "The Dishwasher Affair," and my personal favorite, "The Satellite of Shame" (if you've ever put a cone on a pet, prepare to feel judged). Each one delivers exactly what it promises, plus a healthy dose of chaos and unconditional love.
What makes this book special isn't just the humor—though I genuinely laughed out loud multiple times, especially during the fake throw analysis and the pickleball invasion saga. It's the surprisingly touching moments woven throughout. Roxy's unwavering presence during her human's dark moment perfectly captures what dogs do best: they stay. They guard the silence. They remind us we're not alone.
Roxy's observations about daily life—from breakfast warfare to doorbell diplomacy—feel both hilariously exaggerated and deeply true. Any dog owner will recognize their pet in these pages, whether it's the strategic sock theft, the leash conspiracy theories, or the inexplicable hatred of the vacuum cleaner.
This book is perfect for dog lovers, anyone who's ever lost a battle with their pet, people who appreciate dry humor with a side of fur, and humans who need reminding that they're not actually in charge.
Whether you're a dog person, a cat person (Roxy has opinions about you), or just someone who enjoys sharp, funny writing with genuine heart, this book delivers. It's a quick, delightful read that somehow manages to be both ridiculous and profound.
February 24, 2026
(3.5 rounded to 4.0).
Meet Roxy, the Australian Black Heeler (despite conflicting DNA results) who has adopted “an owner” living in a Toronto suburb. Coming from a true working dog breed, Roxy sometimes finds it challenging to adapt to a mundane household where the only things truly worth chasing are squirrels, mailmen, delivery drivers, and with great care, skunks. She focuses her extra time and attention on a training program for her person. After the basics of sit, stay, walk, treat and meals, she is able to focus the effort and more challenging commands such as inventing hobbies to entertain them both (or at least Roxy), such as lost socks, inanimate object invasions (vacuum cleaners, pillows, blankets, books and ignored food). She has decided to share her knowledge with other dogs who may have issues with their own troublesome owners.
I enjoy books that imagine what our four-legged friends think about us. Luckily there are some excellent series of books that feature some reasonable guesses for the internal dialogues they may be engaging in. Fewer of those books appear to be written by the animals they feature so it was refreshing to come across one that does a good job of telling such stories. The characters are developed well enough to carry the story and the descriptions of a home and its surroundings can provide a sufficient backdrop for Roxy’s exploits. It provides a pleasing change from more serious tales and I would recommend to readers of humor, satire, animal characters and other genres which lend themselves to a light handed touch. Since it is intended to be the first on a series featuring Roxy’s observations and adventures which I will be pleased to read.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
Meet Roxy, the Australian Black Heeler (despite conflicting DNA results) who has adopted “an owner” living in a Toronto suburb. Coming from a true working dog breed, Roxy sometimes finds it challenging to adapt to a mundane household where the only things truly worth chasing are squirrels, mailmen, delivery drivers, and with great care, skunks. She focuses her extra time and attention on a training program for her person. After the basics of sit, stay, walk, treat and meals, she is able to focus the effort and more challenging commands such as inventing hobbies to entertain them both (or at least Roxy), such as lost socks, inanimate object invasions (vacuum cleaners, pillows, blankets, books and ignored food). She has decided to share her knowledge with other dogs who may have issues with their own troublesome owners.
I enjoy books that imagine what our four-legged friends think about us. Luckily there are some excellent series of books that feature some reasonable guesses for the internal dialogues they may be engaging in. Fewer of those books appear to be written by the animals they feature so it was refreshing to come across one that does a good job of telling such stories. The characters are developed well enough to carry the story and the descriptions of a home and its surroundings can provide a sufficient backdrop for Roxy’s exploits. It provides a pleasing change from more serious tales and I would recommend to readers of humor, satire, animal characters and other genres which lend themselves to a light handed touch. Since it is intended to be the first on a series featuring Roxy’s observations and adventures which I will be pleased to read.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
March 1, 2026
Barking Orders by Roxy The Cattle Dog is a delightfully fun look at life through the eyes of Roxy the cattle dog.
The reader really ‘believes’ that Roxy is the author of the book. It really does sound like a dog’s eye view on life! She believes “Humans are 85% coffee and 15% confusion.” Sounds about right to me! Roxy sets about training her human when she arrives. “Receive treat… Repeat until pantry is empty.” Roxy is ruled by her stomach!
Any unattended food is fair game. “Yogurt on my nose… You left it there. This is on you.” Whether it is breakfast yogurt, thanksgiving turkey, a BBQ or something else – leave food unguarded at your peril!
Wildlife is to be chased and eliminated from the garden. “At precisely 8.06am, the enemy breached the perimeter… a gray blur with shifty eyes and a twitchy tail.” Squirrels prove not so easy to catch. “Nutcracker escaped this time. But mark my barks, I’ll get that acorn-hoarder one day.” Skunks are to be avoided at all costs!
The ultimate betrayal is… a trip to the vets when conned into thinking it was a good trip out.
Roxy is scared of thunder, needing the reassurance of her owner. “He said, ‘You’re brave.’ Correct. Even warriors need a break sometimes.”
I absolutely adored hearing of Roxy’s daily events. This is a most entertaining read.
I will leave you with my favourite quote:
“Sometimes the mission isn’t to bark, or chase, or patrol. Sometimes, it’s just to be there. To be the warm body that reminds him he’s not alone.”
I received a free copy from the author’s human. A favourable review was not required. All opinions are my own.
The reader really ‘believes’ that Roxy is the author of the book. It really does sound like a dog’s eye view on life! She believes “Humans are 85% coffee and 15% confusion.” Sounds about right to me! Roxy sets about training her human when she arrives. “Receive treat… Repeat until pantry is empty.” Roxy is ruled by her stomach!
Any unattended food is fair game. “Yogurt on my nose… You left it there. This is on you.” Whether it is breakfast yogurt, thanksgiving turkey, a BBQ or something else – leave food unguarded at your peril!
Wildlife is to be chased and eliminated from the garden. “At precisely 8.06am, the enemy breached the perimeter… a gray blur with shifty eyes and a twitchy tail.” Squirrels prove not so easy to catch. “Nutcracker escaped this time. But mark my barks, I’ll get that acorn-hoarder one day.” Skunks are to be avoided at all costs!
The ultimate betrayal is… a trip to the vets when conned into thinking it was a good trip out.
Roxy is scared of thunder, needing the reassurance of her owner. “He said, ‘You’re brave.’ Correct. Even warriors need a break sometimes.”
I absolutely adored hearing of Roxy’s daily events. This is a most entertaining read.
I will leave you with my favourite quote:
“Sometimes the mission isn’t to bark, or chase, or patrol. Sometimes, it’s just to be there. To be the warm body that reminds him he’s not alone.”
I received a free copy from the author’s human. A favourable review was not required. All opinions are my own.
January 20, 2026
Barking Orders by Roxy the Cattle Dog is just flat‑out adorable. From the first page, Roxy’s personality comes through loud and clear—she’s bossy, hilarious, and totally sure she’s the smartest one in the room (and honestly, she might be).
The whole book feels like sitting on a porch with a ridiculously charming dog who has opinions about everything: the humans she works with, the trouble they get into, and the daily chaos she somehow manages to keep under control. I laughed a ton, and there were a few surprisingly sweet moments that hit right in the feels.
If you love dogs and stories told with a ton of heart and humor, this book is an easy win. Roxy’s voice is unique, lovable, and impossible to forget. Can’t wait for whatever she “writes” next!.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
The whole book feels like sitting on a porch with a ridiculously charming dog who has opinions about everything: the humans she works with, the trouble they get into, and the daily chaos she somehow manages to keep under control. I laughed a ton, and there were a few surprisingly sweet moments that hit right in the feels.
If you love dogs and stories told with a ton of heart and humor, this book is an easy win. Roxy’s voice is unique, lovable, and impossible to forget. Can’t wait for whatever she “writes” next!.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
February 2, 2026
I first have to say, I am a cat person. I was offered an opportunity to read this book and thought why not. Well I don't remember laughing so much while reading a book. Roxy and her human tell a great story. I could write so much more, but you really just need to read the book and fall in love with Roxy.
I received an advanced review copy for free, and am leaving this review voluntarily.
I received an advanced review copy for free, and am leaving this review voluntarily.
February 8, 2026
I loved this story. It made me reminisce about my own Australian Cattle Dog. It felt so real reading from Roxy's perspective. I enjoyed the book a lot.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
February 22, 2026
Loved it! Had a lot of fun, couldn't stop laughing and won't read other stories by Roxy soon.
Well written, witty, highly entertaining.
Well done!
Many thanks for this digital copy, all opinions are mine
Well written, witty, highly entertaining.
Well done!
Many thanks for this digital copy, all opinions are mine
March 5, 2026
Very cute! I loved the dog POV. I felt like it was a new look at my dogs as well as to what they could be thinking! I felt it was super fun and light hearted! Id definitely read more by this Author!
January 27, 2026
I received a free copy from Booksprout and I'm willingly leaving a review
Short and sweet. It starts funny and goes from there. I don't recall laughing out loud but I know I smiled the whole time I was sitting down and read. Long Live Roxy the Almighty!
Short and sweet. It starts funny and goes from there. I don't recall laughing out loud but I know I smiled the whole time I was sitting down and read. Long Live Roxy the Almighty!
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews