What do you think?
In My Darkest Hour: A Memoir
From King of Metal Dave Mustaine, a powerful reflection on the harsh truths and raw realizations that can only come from confronting death.
Dave Mustaine is no stranger to pain and suffering. He battled demons all his life—including an alcoholic father, addiction, and black magic—and turned fifty-eight believing he’d survived the worst. But in 2019, Mustaine was forced to face the loss of his instantly recognizable voice and the disintegration of his musical talent. Diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma at the back of his tongue, his entire career—and possibly his life—was about to end.
For Mustaine, it was one more opportunity to fight like hell.
In My Darkest Hour takes readers from the treatment room to the studio as Mustaine chronicles how his diagnosis inspired him to take up the pen and guitar pick, going from radiation and chemotherapy appointments straight into hours-long recording sessions, resulting in Megadeth's sixteenth studio album, The Sick, The Dying…and the Dead! Along the way, Mustaine details how confronting his own mortality brought him closer to his family, taught him how to ask for help, strengthened his faith, and challenged the vulnerability of his art.
Filled with perseverance, hope, and the determination to never let the bastards grind you down, In My Darkest Hour is a masterful portrait of a Dave Mustaine that the world has yet to see, and serves as a moving reminder that even our most invincible heroes are human.
Dave Mustaine is no stranger to pain and suffering. He battled demons all his life—including an alcoholic father, addiction, and black magic—and turned fifty-eight believing he’d survived the worst. But in 2019, Mustaine was forced to face the loss of his instantly recognizable voice and the disintegration of his musical talent. Diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma at the back of his tongue, his entire career—and possibly his life—was about to end.
For Mustaine, it was one more opportunity to fight like hell.
In My Darkest Hour takes readers from the treatment room to the studio as Mustaine chronicles how his diagnosis inspired him to take up the pen and guitar pick, going from radiation and chemotherapy appointments straight into hours-long recording sessions, resulting in Megadeth's sixteenth studio album, The Sick, The Dying…and the Dead! Along the way, Mustaine details how confronting his own mortality brought him closer to his family, taught him how to ask for help, strengthened his faith, and challenged the vulnerability of his art.
Filled with perseverance, hope, and the determination to never let the bastards grind you down, In My Darkest Hour is a masterful portrait of a Dave Mustaine that the world has yet to see, and serves as a moving reminder that even our most invincible heroes are human.
240 pages, Hardcover
Published September 8, 2026
About the author
Dave Mustaine
19 books193 followersDavid Scott Mustaine is an American musician, singer, songwriter, actor and author. He is best known as the co-founder, guitarist, and lead singer of the American thrash metal band Megadeth, and well known as the original lead guitarist for the American thrash metal band Metallica.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
Read
September 30, 2026No star rating because I don't rate memoirs.
Surprisingly for a metalhead I never really listened to Megadeth so my knowledge of Mustaine was limited to being passingly aware of his history of offensive comments (I picked up this book because it's a cancer memoir). So I was quite surprised to see him not only pass the mic to people around him but also to see his level of apparent self-awareness.
I liked how he speaks of his family and the people around him. I liked that he spoke of deciding to trust his doctor when it comes to treatment and that he was open about struggling with his dental health. I also appreciated his approach to the 12 steps program (NA/AA) and recovery from substance abuse. There really was something rather endearing about him. I don't know if he's grown since his anti-gay-marriage and racist comments but I didn't see any of that in this memoir, so I'd really like to hope so.
Surprisingly for a metalhead I never really listened to Megadeth so my knowledge of Mustaine was limited to being passingly aware of his history of offensive comments (I picked up this book because it's a cancer memoir). So I was quite surprised to see him not only pass the mic to people around him but also to see his level of apparent self-awareness.
I liked how he speaks of his family and the people around him. I liked that he spoke of deciding to trust his doctor when it comes to treatment and that he was open about struggling with his dental health. I also appreciated his approach to the 12 steps program (NA/AA) and recovery from substance abuse. There really was something rather endearing about him. I don't know if he's grown since his anti-gay-marriage and racist comments but I didn't see any of that in this memoir, so I'd really like to hope so.
September 15, 2026
One for the superfans. Perhaps in my teenage years I'd have considered myself one too, but by now I'm a bit over Dave's, well... arrogance. Which, hey, is well earned in a lot of ways - yes, the man has achieved a lot and been through so much (not just the cancer!) buuut staying humble through all that is something to strive for.
For me, the most annoying part is that the repeating pattern with basically every god damn story in this book is that he *tries* to be humble and immediately pivots to *not* being humble.
Oh and all the intercut stories from other people sound like the guidance given to them was "don't forget to praise Mustaine!!" Look: maybe he truly is the greatest person since the guy that invented sliced bread, but I don't need to be reminded of that on every single page.
No mind-blowing insights to be found here, no overly exciting stories and if you *are* a superfan, you likely know all of it already anyway.
But it's a short read, so props for that.
For me, the most annoying part is that the repeating pattern with basically every god damn story in this book is that he *tries* to be humble and immediately pivots to *not* being humble.
Oh and all the intercut stories from other people sound like the guidance given to them was "don't forget to praise Mustaine!!" Look: maybe he truly is the greatest person since the guy that invented sliced bread, but I don't need to be reminded of that on every single page.
No mind-blowing insights to be found here, no overly exciting stories and if you *are* a superfan, you likely know all of it already anyway.
But it's a short read, so props for that.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Dave Mustaine. The man. The myth. The legend. At least to those in the know.
Megadeth has an interesting and somewhat unconventional story (if it is even possible for a metal band origin story to be conventional). Itself born from the place called rock-bottom and a heaping tablespoon of spite, Megadeth continues to produce tons of music and sell tons of albums to fans who have been with them for decades, and new, young fans, just getting introduced to their music.
In 2019, Dave was diagnosed with The Big C—cancer—which was growing on the back of his tongue. As the iconic frontman and lead-singer of a metal band, his entire future was suddenly in limbo. It required aggressive treatment, and he wasn't sure if he'd be able to sing again.
In My Darkest Hour is a collection of accounts from those who were with him during this time. Passages from his wife, his daughter, his doctor, his music producer, and others, stand as evidence of the deep and wide support system he had around him. Then, as we all know, 2020 brought with it the pandemic and lock-downs, just as the band was coming together to write their *sixteenth* album. Let's just say it had its challenges.
Dave has never claimed to be a perfect person, in fact, I admire his ability to look back on his past and admit where he may have been wrong and where he has grown. That kind of introspection isn't necessarily common in a man of his generation, with a past like his. But he's a songwriter. A storyteller. A poet. And I continue to admire whatever it is within him that turns his pain into something that can make others feel seen.
Though this is an account of one man's experience with cancer, I was left encouraged. The hard parts were not glossed over, but neither was his shift in perspective. There's nothing like a health crisis to open your eyes to the way you've been living, for good or for bad. Don't read it if you are feeling sensitive to the topic. Do read it if you're looking for a raw story of resilience, fear, uncertainty, and perseverance—and maybe a little regret.
Megadeth has an interesting and somewhat unconventional story (if it is even possible for a metal band origin story to be conventional). Itself born from the place called rock-bottom and a heaping tablespoon of spite, Megadeth continues to produce tons of music and sell tons of albums to fans who have been with them for decades, and new, young fans, just getting introduced to their music.
In 2019, Dave was diagnosed with The Big C—cancer—which was growing on the back of his tongue. As the iconic frontman and lead-singer of a metal band, his entire future was suddenly in limbo. It required aggressive treatment, and he wasn't sure if he'd be able to sing again.
In My Darkest Hour is a collection of accounts from those who were with him during this time. Passages from his wife, his daughter, his doctor, his music producer, and others, stand as evidence of the deep and wide support system he had around him. Then, as we all know, 2020 brought with it the pandemic and lock-downs, just as the band was coming together to write their *sixteenth* album. Let's just say it had its challenges.
Dave has never claimed to be a perfect person, in fact, I admire his ability to look back on his past and admit where he may have been wrong and where he has grown. That kind of introspection isn't necessarily common in a man of his generation, with a past like his. But he's a songwriter. A storyteller. A poet. And I continue to admire whatever it is within him that turns his pain into something that can make others feel seen.
Though this is an account of one man's experience with cancer, I was left encouraged. The hard parts were not glossed over, but neither was his shift in perspective. There's nothing like a health crisis to open your eyes to the way you've been living, for good or for bad. Don't read it if you are feeling sensitive to the topic. Do read it if you're looking for a raw story of resilience, fear, uncertainty, and perseverance—and maybe a little regret.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
3.5 Stars
Dave Mustaine has been an intriguing figure for me since I watched the Metallica documentary "Some Kind of Monster" back in 2004. He was kicked out of Metallica primarily for his drinking problem- right on the cusp of their rise to fame. There is a riveting scene between the drummer of Metallica (Lars Ulrich), and Dave Mustaine on the "therapy couch". They have a heart to heart about that monumental and heartbreaking moment in Dave's life, and you see a tough guy shedding tears about it. But he picked himself back up, survived many rehabs, and soon created the thrash metal band Megadeth, which found significant success.
I've read his original biography, Mustaine: A Heavy Metal Memoir and enjoyed it, so wanted to delve into this one. In this offering he focuses on his journey navigating tongue cancer. I found the beginning of the book riveting where he explored the troubling symptoms and subsequent interaction with physicians who discovered his cancer. While he primarily narrates the book, there are many passages interspersed from his adult children, Justis and Electra, and also from his wife Pam. There are also passages from physicians and business personnel like band members. It was very informative, sobering, and honest. My only small complaint was that I would prefer that the person who is speaking is listed before the three pages or so of narrative instead of at the end. It was hard to digest what I was reading in those italicized passages while at the same time trying to figure out exactly who was "speaking" and it being a surprise at the end.
Thank you to Grand Central Publishing / Da Capo who provided an advance reader copy via NetGalley.
Dave Mustaine has been an intriguing figure for me since I watched the Metallica documentary "Some Kind of Monster" back in 2004. He was kicked out of Metallica primarily for his drinking problem- right on the cusp of their rise to fame. There is a riveting scene between the drummer of Metallica (Lars Ulrich), and Dave Mustaine on the "therapy couch". They have a heart to heart about that monumental and heartbreaking moment in Dave's life, and you see a tough guy shedding tears about it. But he picked himself back up, survived many rehabs, and soon created the thrash metal band Megadeth, which found significant success.
I've read his original biography, Mustaine: A Heavy Metal Memoir and enjoyed it, so wanted to delve into this one. In this offering he focuses on his journey navigating tongue cancer. I found the beginning of the book riveting where he explored the troubling symptoms and subsequent interaction with physicians who discovered his cancer. While he primarily narrates the book, there are many passages interspersed from his adult children, Justis and Electra, and also from his wife Pam. There are also passages from physicians and business personnel like band members. It was very informative, sobering, and honest. My only small complaint was that I would prefer that the person who is speaking is listed before the three pages or so of narrative instead of at the end. It was hard to digest what I was reading in those italicized passages while at the same time trying to figure out exactly who was "speaking" and it being a surprise at the end.
Thank you to Grand Central Publishing / Da Capo who provided an advance reader copy via NetGalley.
October 1, 2026
If you have followed the career of Megadeth's Dave Mustaine, you know that he is an unorthodox individual, to say the least. He definitely has a high opinion of himself and his contributions to thrash metal, and while he's not wrong, it does tend to be pretty humorous/repetitive after a while. However, he is wildly entertaining, has a dark sense of humor, and is not afraid to look inward at his personality quirks and his peculiar peccadillos.
In his third book, he takes a reflective and revealing look at his throat cancer diagnosis from 2019. He is vulnerable, in-depth, and detailed when it comes to not only his treatment but also his thought process at the time. He has tremendous perspective on what he went through and is able to articulate the ups and downs in a somber yet beautiful way.
I would have given the book five stars, but too often, the book relies on secondhand accounts from Dave’s friends, family, and bandmates to discuss what he was going through and what they noticed during his cancer treatment. The book is at its best when Dave is leading the way and telling the story. He has a unique way of looking at things and putting everything into perspective.
Dave is a gifted and one-of-a-kind writer. I hope he has a few more books in him because he has stories for days, and he’s the best person to tell them.
In his third book, he takes a reflective and revealing look at his throat cancer diagnosis from 2019. He is vulnerable, in-depth, and detailed when it comes to not only his treatment but also his thought process at the time. He has tremendous perspective on what he went through and is able to articulate the ups and downs in a somber yet beautiful way.
I would have given the book five stars, but too often, the book relies on secondhand accounts from Dave’s friends, family, and bandmates to discuss what he was going through and what they noticed during his cancer treatment. The book is at its best when Dave is leading the way and telling the story. He has a unique way of looking at things and putting everything into perspective.
Dave is a gifted and one-of-a-kind writer. I hope he has a few more books in him because he has stories for days, and he’s the best person to tell them.
Review of advance copy received from Publisher
In My Darkest Hour by Dave Mustaine. Thanks to dacapo for the gifted Arc ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Dave Mustaine has battled demons: a childhood with an alcoholic father and addiction. Now he faces his next battle, squamous cell carcinoma.
This was a compelling story of resiliency and recovery. While not a huge metal fan, of course I’ve heard of Dave Mustaine and Megadeth! I was very excited to learn more about Mustaine. This memoir was mostly about his cancer diagnosis, treatment, and recovery. This was certainly a great memoir on its own, as we learn from Dave what helped him and the support he received. He kept a positive mind and support around him. I would have loved even more depth into his childhood and past addiction. I see now that Dave has written other memoirs, so I will have to pick those up as well!
“This was my reality check: appreciate what you have, and stop whining and complaining about what you don’t have or what you lost. Take this terrible thing that is happening to you and learn from it, even as it’s ripping you apart.”
Read if you like:
-Medical memoirs
-Heavy metal or music memoirs
-Support stories during hard times
In My Darkest Hour comes out 9/8.
Dave Mustaine has battled demons: a childhood with an alcoholic father and addiction. Now he faces his next battle, squamous cell carcinoma.
This was a compelling story of resiliency and recovery. While not a huge metal fan, of course I’ve heard of Dave Mustaine and Megadeth! I was very excited to learn more about Mustaine. This memoir was mostly about his cancer diagnosis, treatment, and recovery. This was certainly a great memoir on its own, as we learn from Dave what helped him and the support he received. He kept a positive mind and support around him. I would have loved even more depth into his childhood and past addiction. I see now that Dave has written other memoirs, so I will have to pick those up as well!
“This was my reality check: appreciate what you have, and stop whining and complaining about what you don’t have or what you lost. Take this terrible thing that is happening to you and learn from it, even as it’s ripping you apart.”
Read if you like:
-Medical memoirs
-Heavy metal or music memoirs
-Support stories during hard times
In My Darkest Hour comes out 9/8.
Review of advance copy received from Publisher
In My Darkest Hour gives a look at Dave Mustaine’s battle with throat cancer and how his diagnosis affected his life, family, faith, and career. What really stood out to me was that even while going through treatment, he continued working on Megadeth’s The Sick, The Dying... and the Dead!
Mustaine is surprisingly open about the fear and uncertainty that came with facing his own mortality, as well as his struggles with addiction and the difficult parts of his past. I also enjoyed the different perspectives from those close to him. They added another layer to his story and gave some insight into what he was going through from the people around him.
Overall, I appreciated the book's personal and honest tone. It was interesting seeing a different, more vulnerable side of someone who has spent decades being known as a larger-than-life rock star.
Whether you're a Megadeth fan or simply enjoy stories about perseverance and overcoming difficult circumstances, this was an interesting and inspiring read.
Thank you @dacapopublishing for the #gifted copy! All opinions are my own.
Mustaine is surprisingly open about the fear and uncertainty that came with facing his own mortality, as well as his struggles with addiction and the difficult parts of his past. I also enjoyed the different perspectives from those close to him. They added another layer to his story and gave some insight into what he was going through from the people around him.
Overall, I appreciated the book's personal and honest tone. It was interesting seeing a different, more vulnerable side of someone who has spent decades being known as a larger-than-life rock star.
Whether you're a Megadeth fan or simply enjoy stories about perseverance and overcoming difficult circumstances, this was an interesting and inspiring read.
Thank you @dacapopublishing for the #gifted copy! All opinions are my own.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
I accompanied my son to a few Megadeth concerts and a book signing, so I was really saddened when I heard the band’s founder had cancer.
This book tells the story of Dave Mustaine’s diagnosis, treatment, and recovery from throat cancer—all while continuing to work on an album!
The inclusion of interviews with his family, bandmates, and doctor were interesting. It is a bit jarring, though, that you don’t know who is speaking until the end of each section. At least a different font is used when Mustaine himself is telling the story.
I was surprised by the level of honesty here, and some of the revelations may be shocking to readers.
Whether you’re a Megadeth fan or not, this is a gripping story of someone fighting for their life!
Thank you to NetGalley for the advance copy in exchange for an honest review.
This book tells the story of Dave Mustaine’s diagnosis, treatment, and recovery from throat cancer—all while continuing to work on an album!
The inclusion of interviews with his family, bandmates, and doctor were interesting. It is a bit jarring, though, that you don’t know who is speaking until the end of each section. At least a different font is used when Mustaine himself is telling the story.
I was surprised by the level of honesty here, and some of the revelations may be shocking to readers.
Whether you’re a Megadeth fan or not, this is a gripping story of someone fighting for their life!
Thank you to NetGalley for the advance copy in exchange for an honest review.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Dave Mustaine is a polarizing guy. He admits that he has been incredibly difficult in the past, but he also states that he is attempting to chill out a little. This shift is obvious in In My Darkest Hour, where Mustaine recounts his battle with cancer and how it impacted his life and career. Mustaine is at his most vulnerable here, and it is very impressive. I do think it was weird for someone who admits they are trying to be less egocentric to make the decision to have a bunch of people in his life weigh in on what a great person he is throughout the book, but that might just be me. Regardless, I enjoyed this book. Mustaine is very open about discussing the fears and anxiety he felt regarding his diagnosis, treatment, and recovery, and it is a quick and entertaining read.
Thank you to NetGalley for providing me with an ARC of this book!
Thank you to NetGalley for providing me with an ARC of this book!
September 9, 2026
Phenomenal! I’ve been a Megadeth fan since Rust in Peace. Over the years I’ve followed Dave’s career and read all of his memoirs. I feel like I know most of what the public could know about Dave Mustaine. This book takes you to deeper level. Dave expresses his thoughts, feelings and fears of the all consuming fight against cancer. This memoir hits different than the previous ones because prior to this cancer diagnosis I had never seen Megadeth live and at that point seeing the live show was a mission. I had tickets to at least 2 shows that got canceled, one for the cancer the other for covid. I’ve seen them twice since and got to meet Dave when he was promoting for House of Mustaine in Nashville. Give the book a go. If you love metal you will like it. If you love thrash metal,as I do, you will LOVE IT!
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
This is a hard one to review. I’ve read Dave’s other book and really liked it. I like Megadeth. Dave went through hell. But, this book didn’t do it for me.
There’s a story here, a good one. One I’d like to read without all the testimonials from his friends, family, band mates, and doctors about what a good guy Dave is. To be honest, I don’t care. I wanted to read a book by Dave Mustaine. When he does have his say, there’s a lot of repetition of his past experiences of life with a Jehovah’s Witness mom.
The Dave sections were interesting and I was glad to hear he had come through it.
I recommend this with the above caveats.
Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC. All opinions are my own.
There’s a story here, a good one. One I’d like to read without all the testimonials from his friends, family, band mates, and doctors about what a good guy Dave is. To be honest, I don’t care. I wanted to read a book by Dave Mustaine. When he does have his say, there’s a lot of repetition of his past experiences of life with a Jehovah’s Witness mom.
The Dave sections were interesting and I was glad to hear he had come through it.
I recommend this with the above caveats.
Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC. All opinions are my own.
September 10, 2026
Anyone who encounters cancer is hard af. And honestly, I think Dave needs to watch “The One With Joey’s New Girlfriend,” because we love a (non painful of course) rasp.
The Rust vs. Black shoulder chip ( among others )is still alive and irreparable apparently. Cant help but notice some irony. I agree about Ellefson 100% though- don’t bring that creep back. I can only play 18% of “Hangar 18” on bass but I pretend I’m James LoMenzo because same hair 😂
Cool to hear from the other Mustaine’s as well. I would love to catch a show on the farewell tour if it happens.
The Rust vs. Black shoulder chip ( among others )is still alive and irreparable apparently. Cant help but notice some irony. I agree about Ellefson 100% though- don’t bring that creep back. I can only play 18% of “Hangar 18” on bass but I pretend I’m James LoMenzo because same hair 😂
Cool to hear from the other Mustaine’s as well. I would love to catch a show on the farewell tour if it happens.
September 15, 2026
Dave won't go kindly
In the collaborative style we've read before, Dave gives voice to other participants in his journey through fighting one of every human worst battle: cancer. His family, of course but also his doctors and jujitsu trainer. Band member Dirk Verbeuren shares a lot about the whole process and while notably missing Kiko or Ellefson (who also participated in that album during these trials) maybe it was enough.
But there is this element of evolution and survival Dave endured that I am grateful for.
In the collaborative style we've read before, Dave gives voice to other participants in his journey through fighting one of every human worst battle: cancer. His family, of course but also his doctors and jujitsu trainer. Band member Dirk Verbeuren shares a lot about the whole process and while notably missing Kiko or Ellefson (who also participated in that album during these trials) maybe it was enough.
But there is this element of evolution and survival Dave endured that I am grateful for.
September 17, 2026
Crude, brutal and so real that it hurts, this is the best way to describe this book. I’ve always loved metal music and since my high school year I’ve been a metalhead, and obviously Megadeth and his backstory has been known to me, love the music, love the band and the myth. However this journey is very human and lets you have a glance of what a hard journey a as did Dave have to endure, and let me tell you it is stunning, I highly recommend this book.
October 3, 2026
After seeing Megadeth in concert, was curious to know more about Dave's cancer battle. The book was interesting but felt there was a lot of redundancy through the chapters. Did you know Dave was in Metallica? Overall, it's a quick read and gave some insight into what ones goes through with cancer treatment.
September 19, 2026
I have finished In My Darkest Hour by Dave Mustaine. Dave tells us his diagnosis of Cancer, his treatment and his recovery. There were stories about Dave from the people that knew him best. The stories about his band Megadeath.
September 30, 2026
I mean I enjoyed it. But it was very repetitive. I love Dave and Megadeth. If you aren’t a fan, probably not so much
October 2, 2026
I loved this.
But is his sister his mom!?!?
But is his sister his mom!?!?
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
I've been a casual Megadeth fan (know the hits, not the deep cuts) but have always been intrigued by Dave Mustaine, the enigma he is.
This book details Dave's battle with cancer and the real possibility of losing what has become his identity – his voice. It reveals a different, vulnerable side of the artist. The possibility of losing his life and his identity seems to have mellowed him. He even remarks, "I don't hate Metallica." Who would have thought to hear him utter those words?
Fans of Dave and Megadeth will enjoy an insight into the man at a most pivotal time in his life. One of the better memoirs I've read.
This book details Dave's battle with cancer and the real possibility of losing what has become his identity – his voice. It reveals a different, vulnerable side of the artist. The possibility of losing his life and his identity seems to have mellowed him. He even remarks, "I don't hate Metallica." Who would have thought to hear him utter those words?
Fans of Dave and Megadeth will enjoy an insight into the man at a most pivotal time in his life. One of the better memoirs I've read.
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews