How to Die in the 21st Century

by Hannah Gould

Sea Kelp Derby Punch

Genres: Nonfiction, Audiobook

240 pages, Paperback

Published March 3, 2026

Reviews

[Hannah Hale · Rating 4 out of 5]

As an only child, as a teacher, as the niece of many LGBTQIA+ people, as a friend, as cousin to a 6 year old dead child; this spoke to me in so many different ways.

I loved that this came with a Melbourne lens, and lasered in on the wellness industry throughout. I also appreciated the upbeat nature of the writing that also doesn’t hold back on the facts.

Finally, I never really thought about life expectancy vs healthy life expectancy - something to ponder for me.

[Christina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Death is hard. Avoiding it is harder. I initially listened to this as an audiobook but realised half way through that I was going to need a physical copy as well, because it is packed full of such interesting and helpful information. Really well thought out and I was actually inspired, in a strange way! Highly recommend.

[Kaija Strautins · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed the anthropological and societal lens of this, how death is viewed by a society, our rituals and their purposes.

[Jessica Daley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting read. Promotes the importance of having difficult conversations surrounding mortality to promote ‘better’ dying practices and more compassion for the dying and those working in death care. Really enjoyed it.

[Jessica]

Funny, compassionate, politically aware, this book even offers practical prompts and suggestions for how we can re-imagine our approach to dying, funerals, grief and memorialisation, expanding it from a private fear into the realms of collective experience and social responsibility. I love the author's recognition that inequality extends to end-of-life and death considerations too, and how deftly she identifies the oppressive narratives and social control at work in this sphere. Since we are heading toward an era of 'peak death' and yet largely live in death denial, we can all draw on our creativity and community spirit, as well as examples from past traditions and new innovations, to approach the inevitable with social awareness and a deepened expression of our shared humanity.

[Helen Homer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this a great book,mixing many practical decisions/processes falling death,with may more esoteric and ethereal thoughts on mortality. The book is very clear about the need to communicate more openly about death,both in a personal and societal context and this is something I very much agree with, and stresses that awareness and acceptance of death and mortality does not necessitate positivity about death, it sucks! But it is going to happen and ignoring it won't stop that.

I got a lot from this book, and will likely read it again, if you are grieving I would recommend it, and it youre not, I would still recommend it, you will be one day.

[Alison · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not a bad book, written by an Aussie anthropologist, and although an occasional 'grouse' bit about death and decay, it has loads of interesting facts, life and death ideas looking at 'how' and some of the issues with modern funerals and such, and although there could have been more perhaps about what really 'needs' to be done with death, but still, Gould gives you loads to think about and although death is something we all have to deal with at some point, written not 'funny', but not morbidly either which was nice. Suitable for the non-squeamish and older teens and adults.

[Kel Harry · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great practical book on death, planning, funerals etc. Not a step by step guide, an exploration of options, teachings, cultures, laws etc. Encouraging conversation around death and dying including environmental, societal, monetary issues etc.
Great book
I think especially if you have not encountered death as it takes away some of the mystery and fear.
I listened to the audio version read by the auditor, it was awesome. I’ll now buy a hard copy so I can share with family and friends and further reference the ideas

[Cosette · Rating 3 out of 5]

A clear, readable introduction to death and dying, from an Australian perspective. Gould has a knack for taking things that sound clinical or morbid, crematorium mechanics, coffin regulations, the "becoming a tree" myth, and making them accessible without dumbing them down. The chapter on her time interning at a Melbourne crematorium is a highlight, full of small human details, even though the book overall keeps a bit of academic distance from the emotional side of things.

It's written for people who've never had to think about any of this, so if you already work in the space, you won't find much new here. It's also Australian in its specifics, which is worth knowing if you're reading from elsewhere.

I recommend it, especially as a first book on the subject.

[Caitlin G · Rating 4 out of 5]

Like most people, I don't want to think about death, especially when it involves the people I love and of course myself. However, Hannah articulated beautifully what death, dying and grieving looks likes, feels like, smells like in a tasteful and insightful way. I'm glad she wrote this book, I'm glad I read it! Talking about death won't bring about death!

[Kerry · Rating 4 out of 5]

Finished July 2026. GREAT.
This really did speak to me… the avoidance of death discussions in family and friends is something we have all come across.
It IS a part of life.. why not discuss now how you want that inevitable outcome to handled if possible.
Why leave it to others to do ‘what they think’ or what they think you might want
A great book. Absolutely one to be shared

[Annie Wang · Rating 4 out of 5]

For the first time in history, humans are (often) living to adulthood without real experience of death and grief. Our culture promotes death denialism and shifts death to the medical sphere. I thought the book was practical and interesting, and shifted my perspective of “a good death”.

I also found the section which explores the (evolving) definition brain death vs biological death insightful.

[Karen Kay · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very accurate information. A lot of humour to diffuse the sobriety that can shroud the subject. I felt it was a little skewed with some personal bias at some points.

[April · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some good, practical considerations to get people having necessary conversations about death. This seems like it's accessible and hits points that I think people want to know.

[Zac Dragan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent frolic into the inevitable

[Beverley Clack · Rating 5 out of 5]

An enjoyable, life affirming read that tells us death is inevitable and urges us to consider the possibility that through contemplating that sobering fact, we can enrich the life we are living now.

[saumya · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very basic introduction to death.

[Courtney Streeter · Rating 3 out of 5]

Enjoyed the Australian perspective. Some good takeaways about the opportunity to personalise your own death. But was really drilling in the point that we all die (I know) by the end

[Vikki Matthews · Rating 1 out of 5]

The first end of life/ death care / after death book I have ever actively disliked. As someone who has worked in end of life care, some of the wording is so careless.

[Karen O'Brien · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very good read

We will all die as will everyone we know and don't know. This book is engaging, knowledgeable and will help you to engage with an inevitable event in all our lives. I loved it.

[Umar · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not as depressing as I expected. Learned some interesting things.

[Bill Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

Inspired me to make a death playlist. I found the insights regarding the over medicalisation of death and related stigma in the 21st century fascinating. Western attitudes to this are so perplexing. Devastated I can’t be made into a tree after I die though.

[JessQueen · Rating 5 out of 5]

How to Die in the 21st Century by Hannah Gould

Thanks to the ALC program by @librofm I was had the amazing opportunity to listen to Gould’s work and learn so much about everything that surrounds death. I do believe people need to know, learn and understand what happens to us, as the D word is also part of our lives.

Blurb:

Talking about death won't kill you. Yet in today's world, death remains one of our greatest taboos. As religion declines and rituals fade, we are left without much guidance for one of life's only certainties. This is your handbook for death in the 21st century – a compassionate, practical and surprisingly hopeful guide to understanding mortality. From cremation to green burials, from grieving a pet to navigating memorial etiquette, anthropologist and death scholar Hannah Gould answers the questions most of us are too afraid to ask: – Do I really get my loved one's ashes back from the crematorium? – Can I turn into a tree when I die? – How do I talk to my parents about end-of-life planning? – Should I attend my ex's dad's funeral? – Will I ever stop crying over my dog? Honest, witty and deeply reassuring, Gould invites listeners to confront mortality not with fear, but with curiosity and courage.

My thoughts 💭

This is certainly a 5⭐️ book. There’s nothing that Gould left unsaid. She went for all. The good, the bad and the ugly. Now I do really understand so much about my choices, about my family’s opinions and especially I learnt more about what I want for my body after death. There are a million different things to consider and I do believe it’s healthy to openly talk about it as it lessens the burden to the ones who are left behind. It’s a wonderful, wise and even fun book at some point. I loved this book and I highly recommend it!