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The Girl Who Bit Me: A Spicy Sapphic Vampire Romance
Six hundred years of immortal friendship. One bite that changes everything.
Ancient vampires Aster Castelmar and Sylvia Maroven have been inseparable for six centuries. They’ve survived inquisitions, wars, collapsing empires, the industrial revolution—but now they face their most challenging obstacle New York City rental prices.
With only a week left in their last apartment, the broke best friends hatch a bold get-rich enthrall a billionaire. With Sylvia’s charm, Aster’s raw strength, and a dash of vampiric hypnosis, the plan should be foolproof.
Then Sylvia bites Aster.
It’s meant to be a joke, a fleeting thrill between lifelong companions. But instead, the bite awakens an ancient bond reserved for soulmates, forcing them to face feelings they’ve spent centuries denying.
Ancient vampires Aster Castelmar and Sylvia Maroven have been inseparable for six centuries. They’ve survived inquisitions, wars, collapsing empires, the industrial revolution—but now they face their most challenging obstacle New York City rental prices.
With only a week left in their last apartment, the broke best friends hatch a bold get-rich enthrall a billionaire. With Sylvia’s charm, Aster’s raw strength, and a dash of vampiric hypnosis, the plan should be foolproof.
Then Sylvia bites Aster.
It’s meant to be a joke, a fleeting thrill between lifelong companions. But instead, the bite awakens an ancient bond reserved for soulmates, forcing them to face feelings they’ve spent centuries denying.
442 pages, Kindle Edition
Published January 24, 2026
927 people are currently reading
4350 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 299 reviews
January 28, 2026
IS THIS HOW STRAIGHT PEOPLE FEEL ABOUT TWILIGHT
NEED THIS TO BE 1000 PAGES LONGER
UGHHH I DO NOT HAVE THE WORDSSSSSSSS
NEED THIS TO BE 1000 PAGES LONGER
UGHHH I DO NOT HAVE THE WORDSSSSSSSS
February 12, 2026
⋆˙✮ 5
Aster and Sylvia, you would’ve loved Shameless by Camila Cabello.
Obsessed would be an understatement. These two idiotic, broke, pining vampires had me in a chokehold from start to finish. If I tried to list everything I liked about this book, we’d be here all day.
What can I say? It was just super fun and refreshing. The vibes were great, and our FMCs were chaotic and impossible not to root for. It had sugar, spice (emphasis on this one), and everything nice. Not even the typos stopped me from having a great time with this one. The author also confirmed a sequel, so I’m SEATED!
Aster and Sylvia, you would’ve loved Shameless by Camila Cabello.
Obsessed would be an understatement. These two idiotic, broke, pining vampires had me in a chokehold from start to finish. If I tried to list everything I liked about this book, we’d be here all day.
What can I say? It was just super fun and refreshing. The vibes were great, and our FMCs were chaotic and impossible not to root for. It had sugar, spice (emphasis on this one), and everything nice. Not even the typos stopped me from having a great time with this one. The author also confirmed a sequel, so I’m SEATED!
April 9, 2026
I LOVED this. I went in without expecting much, and I am so glad that I did. This was just a great time from start to finish, with a lot more layers to it than I had expected. There are unfortunately a lot of vampire novels that are disappointing, so this particularly stood out for me. I recommend this one to everyone!
Highlights:
-There was a lot more going on in this novel than expected. There is plot! There are schemes! There is an extensive backstory that is actually explored!
-Big emotions all around. Do no accuse this novel of lacking emotional depth!
-I love how absolutely GONE for each other these two are!
-I love that one of the protagonists is an environmentalist. Murder is fine, but don’t litter!
-I loved the protagonists. They had solid characters that were engaging and clearly distinct from each other.
-The CHEMISTRY between these two. Off the charts, its awesome.
-A strong foundation of friendship (600 years worth!) is a great place to start “something more”.
-The expected plot holes were “mostly” patched well.
-The spicy scenes contain so much plot, character development, emotion, and all that good stuff. You absolutely wouldn’t be able to skip them in this one, and I like it when the author writes this way.
-Lots of spicy scenes if that’s what you’re into.
-There were just a lot of little details that I loved sprinkled throughout that were hard to explain, which is a writing style that I personally enjoy!
Nitpicks:
-There are a few details that are confusing. I'm wondering if this is due to it being a fanfic and some details just not making it into the book? I find that happens sometimes. Overall though nothing was too much of a problem thankfully!
-Seriously though, it was explained, but they wouldn’t be broke!!!
-There are little mistakes and errors throughout, but honestly its nothing that is a big deal. Just mentioning it!
Highlights:
-There was a lot more going on in this novel than expected. There is plot! There are schemes! There is an extensive backstory that is actually explored!
-Big emotions all around. Do no accuse this novel of lacking emotional depth!
-I love how absolutely GONE for each other these two are!
-I love that one of the protagonists is an environmentalist. Murder is fine, but don’t litter!
-I loved the protagonists. They had solid characters that were engaging and clearly distinct from each other.
-The CHEMISTRY between these two. Off the charts, its awesome.
-A strong foundation of friendship (600 years worth!) is a great place to start “something more”.
-The expected plot holes were “mostly” patched well.
-The spicy scenes contain so much plot, character development, emotion, and all that good stuff. You absolutely wouldn’t be able to skip them in this one, and I like it when the author writes this way.
-Lots of spicy scenes if that’s what you’re into.
-There were just a lot of little details that I loved sprinkled throughout that were hard to explain, which is a writing style that I personally enjoy!
Nitpicks:
-There are a few details that are confusing. I'm wondering if this is due to it being a fanfic and some details just not making it into the book? I find that happens sometimes. Overall though nothing was too much of a problem thankfully!
-Seriously though, it was explained, but they wouldn’t be broke!!!
-There are little mistakes and errors throughout, but honestly its nothing that is a big deal. Just mentioning it!
April 4, 2026
Sylvia, darling, you could have saved yourself (and Aster) a lot of trouble if you just went to therapy. P.S. Your mom’s a bitch.
Review of advance copy
Valerie Hunter could write Carmilla, but could Sheridan Le Fanu write The Girl Who Bit Me? I think not.
I loved this book so much! I am definitely looking forward to future installments! Everybody should read this book at least once in their lifetime- it truly is that good <3
I loved this book so much! I am definitely looking forward to future installments! Everybody should read this book at least once in their lifetime- it truly is that good <3
April 4, 2026
Aster and Sylvia were two hot messes, but DAMN did I enjoy reading about their messes. They were perfectly imperfect for each other, their love felt so real and raw.
These two are so relatable. One with total ADHD, and the other with OCD tendencies. They felt real (which is even funnier at the fact that they’re 1,000 year old vampires), but they have real life stuff happening to them such as mass Amazon shopping and never having enough money.
I was worried when I went into it because I wouldn’t call this a “slow burn”, and I tend to get bored when things happen between the MCs early on. I was kept on my toes throughout the whole thing.
I’m so picky when it comes to vampire books because I’m not much of an age gap reader (and vampire/human relationships are the most technical age gaps there are) but I really liked the fact both of them were vampires.
This was incredible. I found myself giggling and my heart wanting to burst out my chest. Did I mention the sex scenes are juicy? This got me out of my reading funk for sure.
These two are so relatable. One with total ADHD, and the other with OCD tendencies. They felt real (which is even funnier at the fact that they’re 1,000 year old vampires), but they have real life stuff happening to them such as mass Amazon shopping and never having enough money.
I was worried when I went into it because I wouldn’t call this a “slow burn”, and I tend to get bored when things happen between the MCs early on. I was kept on my toes throughout the whole thing.
I’m so picky when it comes to vampire books because I’m not much of an age gap reader (and vampire/human relationships are the most technical age gaps there are) but I really liked the fact both of them were vampires.
This was incredible. I found myself giggling and my heart wanting to burst out my chest. Did I mention the sex scenes are juicy? This got me out of my reading funk for sure.
Did Not Finish
February 10, 2026I never used the did not finish shelf on GR before.....
So let's give put this one on it for now and see what happens.
I'm DNF-ing at 14% because I just don't fucking care.
I LOVE one of the MC's, but the other MC is giving me ✨nothing✨ and is as thrilling as a fart in a glass jar.
I will come back to this when I'm in a better mood for a book over 420 pages long.
Or maybe when there is an audiobook, because I was keen for lesbian vampire smut, but I feel like i'm dragging myself through mud to get to it. I just didn't feel hooked in the first 14% and my adhd ass needs to be hooked or i'm annoyed.
So let's give put this one on it for now and see what happens.
I'm DNF-ing at 14% because I just don't fucking care.
I LOVE one of the MC's, but the other MC is giving me ✨nothing✨ and is as thrilling as a fart in a glass jar.
I will come back to this when I'm in a better mood for a book over 420 pages long.
Or maybe when there is an audiobook, because I was keen for lesbian vampire smut, but I feel like i'm dragging myself through mud to get to it. I just didn't feel hooked in the first 14% and my adhd ass needs to be hooked or i'm annoyed.
April 8, 2026
4.5 Stars
I really enjoyed this! It was such an interesting take on vampires and I really liked the story premise and how the plot unfolded. These two were such opposites but absolutely perfect for each other! Completing each other’s personality traits so well!
The writing was witty and funny, I laughed out loud a couple of times. I also really felt for Sylvia at times, at the beginning I was shouting at them to just talk to each other but then it became clear why that wasn’t so easy.
There was a few spelling errors, especially in the last quarter, but not enough to take me out of the story. The ending…was good BUT it might be just me, but it felt a little abrupt 😂 but again, this could just be me!
I still highly recommend, very good book and I’m looking forward to seeing what else Valerie Hunter writes!
The spice, was good, a lot of wanting, verbal edging and desire. I approve!
Written in Third Person with Multiple POV’s. Vampires, Friends to Lovers, Roommates. 8x Spicy Scenes.
I really enjoyed this! It was such an interesting take on vampires and I really liked the story premise and how the plot unfolded. These two were such opposites but absolutely perfect for each other! Completing each other’s personality traits so well!
The writing was witty and funny, I laughed out loud a couple of times. I also really felt for Sylvia at times, at the beginning I was shouting at them to just talk to each other but then it became clear why that wasn’t so easy.
There was a few spelling errors, especially in the last quarter, but not enough to take me out of the story. The ending…was good BUT it might be just me, but it felt a little abrupt 😂 but again, this could just be me!
I still highly recommend, very good book and I’m looking forward to seeing what else Valerie Hunter writes!
The spice, was good, a lot of wanting, verbal edging and desire. I approve!
Written in Third Person with Multiple POV’s. Vampires, Friends to Lovers, Roommates. 8x Spicy Scenes.
April 24, 2026
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
A literary masterpiece that has permanently altered my DNA. I am a changed woman (pun intended since this is about vampires).
This book is definitely flawed, but I was so completely enthralled by it that it didn’t bother me. It wasn't surprising to learn that this was originally fanfiction, you don't really see how the dynamic develops at the start, you're just thrust into it. There is very little plot for the first 60% of the book (yet it was still very entertaining), but once the plot kicked in, it became even more gripping and hard to put down.
Sylvia was evil in an almost cartoonish way, but I don’t mind suspending my morals for a 400 page book about hot lesbian vampires. There were a few typos here and there, but nothing too distracting. The writing was splendid and the dialogue was hilarious. This was "good" in a campy way so I can definitely see why it might not work for everyone, but I am so glad it worked for me!!!!
A literary masterpiece that has permanently altered my DNA. I am a changed woman (pun intended since this is about vampires).
This book is definitely flawed, but I was so completely enthralled by it that it didn’t bother me. It wasn't surprising to learn that this was originally fanfiction, you don't really see how the dynamic develops at the start, you're just thrust into it. There is very little plot for the first 60% of the book (yet it was still very entertaining), but once the plot kicked in, it became even more gripping and hard to put down.
Sylvia was evil in an almost cartoonish way, but I don’t mind suspending my morals for a 400 page book about hot lesbian vampires. There were a few typos here and there, but nothing too distracting. The writing was splendid and the dialogue was hilarious. This was "good" in a campy way so I can definitely see why it might not work for everyone, but I am so glad it worked for me!!!!
February 23, 2026
I never bought the fact that they were centuries old; never bought just how long they had known each other; never bought they were clever enough to survive that long.
Then I learned this was originally a marvel fanfic from someone on reddit and it made sense why the characters had nothing going on for them and felt so flat: they relied on you knowing a different character and just imagining them on the page instead.
As usual, im a hater but not THAT kind of hater so my disclaimer:
Fanfiction is great and sometimes better in quality than a lot of the slop currently being published traditionally. However, it's not the case for all fanfics. Some cannot stand on their own; because the plot in either senseless or uninteresting, and the character work was done by someone else and the author is not adding anything to it.
Then I learned this was originally a marvel fanfic from someone on reddit and it made sense why the characters had nothing going on for them and felt so flat: they relied on you knowing a different character and just imagining them on the page instead.
As usual, im a hater but not THAT kind of hater so my disclaimer:
Fanfiction is great and sometimes better in quality than a lot of the slop currently being published traditionally. However, it's not the case for all fanfics. Some cannot stand on their own; because the plot in either senseless or uninteresting, and the character work was done by someone else and the author is not adding anything to it.
April 9, 2026
Sorry all, I’m done at 30 percent. The writing was great. The romance was suburb. The spice was spicy. I just can’t do the vampireyness. Just not my thing. Blood drinking = eroticism, yeah, I don’t get it.
Anyone have a non-vampire Valerie Hunter sapphic romance to recommend?
Anyone have a non-vampire Valerie Hunter sapphic romance to recommend?
March 8, 2026
Toxic lesbian vampires are my guilty pleasure 😈
A couple parts were a little messy, and the book as a whole felt a bit long. However, despite that, I still had a lot of fun reading this.
A couple parts were a little messy, and the book as a whole felt a bit long. However, despite that, I still had a lot of fun reading this.
February 5, 2026
4.5⭐️
So this was amazing and I need more of Aster and Sylvia.
After that ending I’m seriously expecting a sequel and I’ll be very dissapointed if there is not because i really need to see more of them as a couple.
So this was amazing and I need more of Aster and Sylvia.
After that ending I’m seriously expecting a sequel and I’ll be very dissapointed if there is not because i really need to see more of them as a couple.
February 14, 2026
Friends to lovers? Sign me up!!!
April 29, 2026
I couldn’t put this one down, and now I can’t let these women go, their story swimming in my brain. The book was intriguing. I love a good friends to lovers story, and this one had a fun twist. Sylvia is a great character with an interesting psychology and backstory. Aster is great too though kind of along for the ride. I wanted a smidge more from her, and I thought their neurodivergence was kind of painted over their characters, but besides that, I loved the way their relationship unfolded and learning the rules of these vampires. My only complaint- I didn’t want it to end!
Short summary: for 600 years, it’s been Aster and Sylvia, best friends and only friends until one little bite changes everything.
Short summary: for 600 years, it’s been Aster and Sylvia, best friends and only friends until one little bite changes everything.
April 9, 2026
First and foremost, to Sylvia and Aster, I have two words for you: compound interest. It’s a thing and it’s good.
These two are the most disorganized and unapologetically chaotic vampires I’ve ever read and it was a ridiculously good time. It started out as fanfic for Agatha and Rio from Agatha All Along, which I’ve seen exactly once. This definitely starts out as a fanfic piece, but as it goes along there are a lot of layers in there. The smut and blood play are abundant in the beginning. That didn’t bother me at all, in fact it was kind of fun in how it made these two idiots in love confront their feelings. There are a few subplots that are super half-baked, but completely inline with how Sylvia and Aster are living their chaotic, silly existence.
I was having such a good time, the typos and other fan fictiony things really didn’t bother me. I just rolled with it. I took a star away because of the POV. There wasn’t much of a difference between Aster and Sylvia in their tone, delivery of words, or their internal thoughts for the first half of the book and I had a really difficult time determining who was speaking or thinking. The last half of the book got way better at differentiating who was speaking and thinking. By the end, I was just hooked.
There’s a ton going on besides idioacy and bloodlust. There’s family trauma, grief, self-doubt, acceptance. It was a fantastically fun time.
These two are the most disorganized and unapologetically chaotic vampires I’ve ever read and it was a ridiculously good time. It started out as fanfic for Agatha and Rio from Agatha All Along, which I’ve seen exactly once. This definitely starts out as a fanfic piece, but as it goes along there are a lot of layers in there. The smut and blood play are abundant in the beginning. That didn’t bother me at all, in fact it was kind of fun in how it made these two idiots in love confront their feelings. There are a few subplots that are super half-baked, but completely inline with how Sylvia and Aster are living their chaotic, silly existence.
I was having such a good time, the typos and other fan fictiony things really didn’t bother me. I just rolled with it. I took a star away because of the POV. There wasn’t much of a difference between Aster and Sylvia in their tone, delivery of words, or their internal thoughts for the first half of the book and I had a really difficult time determining who was speaking or thinking. The last half of the book got way better at differentiating who was speaking and thinking. By the end, I was just hooked.
There’s a ton going on besides idioacy and bloodlust. There’s family trauma, grief, self-doubt, acceptance. It was a fantastically fun time.
March 8, 2026
3.5⭐️
Overall this was a good book and I had a fun time. It's incredibly fast paced and easy to read. The relationship between Sylvia and Aster was so cute and interesting to follow. There's so much yearning going on between them!!!!!!
They're a bit messy and toxic but they also have this beautiful and sweet side, and those things combined felt perfect. I specifically love the banter and teasing between them, it's to die for.
Is this the best book written? Nah probably not. There's some typos and it could benefit from some more editing but i was just so obsessed with Sylvia and Aster that I kind of didn't care about it.
There's not a lot going on plot wise, it's there, but it felt a tad underdeveloped to me and I found myself wanting a bit more of that.
If you just want to have a good time and want something easy and light then I definitely recommend checking this out. It is quite spicy, so if you're into that I think you'll enjoy this!
Overall this was a good book and I had a fun time. It's incredibly fast paced and easy to read. The relationship between Sylvia and Aster was so cute and interesting to follow. There's so much yearning going on between them!!!!!!
They're a bit messy and toxic but they also have this beautiful and sweet side, and those things combined felt perfect. I specifically love the banter and teasing between them, it's to die for.
Is this the best book written? Nah probably not. There's some typos and it could benefit from some more editing but i was just so obsessed with Sylvia and Aster that I kind of didn't care about it.
There's not a lot going on plot wise, it's there, but it felt a tad underdeveloped to me and I found myself wanting a bit more of that.
If you just want to have a good time and want something easy and light then I definitely recommend checking this out. It is quite spicy, so if you're into that I think you'll enjoy this!
February 6, 2026
Did I love this book ? Yes I did. Is it good enough to be more than 2 stars ? No it is not. The plot holes in this book are just a little itsy bitsy tinsy too crazy for me to ignore. Half of the time I didn’t even know what was going on and I just wanted it to end and end it did. I’m so unsatisfied with the romance between them, it was there but it was meh( this might just be me and my high standards). It really just felt like a rushed book but I kept thinking this would be great for a movie or series. Lesbian murderous vampires.
February 16, 2026
Quite interesting story. It takes a while to understand all the reasoning behind.
I think I would have liked for it to have more flashbacks about the past eras.
How absolutely toxic these vampires are, showing only humanity in their love for each other.
It could have been a bit more polished, but I really liked the idea behind. It was just a bit chaotic in the execution.
I can't get enough of how the vampire myth never dies but just keeps evolving.
Curious about what's next.
You need to stick to reading it if you want to understand.
3.8 stars for me.
I think I would have liked for it to have more flashbacks about the past eras.
How absolutely toxic these vampires are, showing only humanity in their love for each other.
It could have been a bit more polished, but I really liked the idea behind. It was just a bit chaotic in the execution.
I can't get enough of how the vampire myth never dies but just keeps evolving.
Curious about what's next.
You need to stick to reading it if you want to understand.
3.8 stars for me.
February 1, 2026
i love me some friends to lovers romance especially that it comes with vampires🤌 the shift from platonic feelings to a more romantic ones is so well made and I love the angst that came with that, had me kicking my feet and blushing🤭. The cover is so cute as well
April 9, 2026
Memorable Quotes:
"Sylvia, Jesus Christ. Littering." "Meh" - Aster/Sylvia (Chapter 8, pg. 71).
"You saved me. You saved me. You don't understand how ungrateful I feel every day knowing that. Like I'll never be able to repay that kind of debt. I almost hate you for it" - Sylvia (Chapter 16, pg. 162).
"We resent the parent who neglected us without reason, yet we pity, and sometimes even adore the parent who neglected us while he toiled for money for our food" - Aster (Chapter 24, pg. 270).
"Because if you fall in love, you'll never get the chance of actually staying in it" - Aster (Chapter 27, pg. 315).
"You are the most infuriatingly gorgeous creature on Earth. It is torture not to press you against the walls of most restaurants and bars and opera halls" - Sylvia (Chapter 27, pg. 314 ).
"You should never underestimate the monstrous size of my bad luck." "And you should stop underestimating just how much I'd fight to stay alive if it means spending one more precious, stupid second with you" - Sylvia/Aster (Chapter 35, pg. 423).
"I've been in love with you six hundred years, in twenty-two different countries, speaking six different languages, causing three revolutions, destroying two empires, beheading fifteen monarchs, and it has been the most exquisitely painful experience of my life. And the achingly pointless part of it is, even if you forgot it all again right now, I'd repeat it in a heartbeat" - Sylvia (Chapter 36, pg. 440).
Review:
If I had an example of what a perfect book looked like, this would definitely be it. I finished this book approximately 5 hours ago, and I'm still processing everything that happened in 442 pages. As I was reading, I felt nothing but joy, admiration, sadness, and disbelief. It's something for me to say, "Oh, this book was good" without explaining why, but this book had so much to offer, and the wonderful Valerie Hunter did not hold back. Any moment I had time to myself, I immediately returned to the book and couldn't put it down for more than a couple of hours. While reading, I could not only feel the chemistry and passion between Sylvia and Aster, but I also felt the joy Valerie put into her writing. Every chapter had me either sitting on the edge or just laughing at the unserious Sylvia when she's with Aster. But what truly broke my heart was when I found out that Sylvia had taken away some of Aster's memories where it involved her admitting she was in love with her. When I reached that point in the book, my heart literally shattered, and I felt so bad for both of them equally. I find it really hard for me to fathom how Sylvia didn't want to be away from her but didn't admit to the fact that she loved her. Even through actions and words, there was still the sense that Sylvia was afraid deep down because she was worried that she wouldn't be able to control her powers. Even when Sylvia was making jokes 80% of the time, I could still relate and understand what she was feeling. With Aster, I feel she cared so deeply about Sylvia that, time and time again, she was able to break through and slowly fall in love with Sylvia all over again, as if the universe was working alongside both of them and ensured they would be together in the end. Aside from their relationship, the entire atmosphere and vibe of the book was captivatingly immersive to the point where it felt like I was watching a TV show. Again, I give props to the author because I don't think that's something that is easy to pull off or taken lightly. I mean, heck, if the author decided to dive into short stories of what Sylvia and Aster did within the 600 years of knowing each other, I would gladly get in my car and go along for the ride just to be able to see more of both of them. Anyways, but this entire book was amazing and so so well done that it altered my brain chemistry times 100. I loved everything about Sylvia, Aster, and just this amazing world that Valerie Hunter created. Looking forward to the sequel dropping this summer, and my expectations are flying through the roof. Rating is one billion stars!
"Sylvia, Jesus Christ. Littering." "Meh" - Aster/Sylvia (Chapter 8, pg. 71).
"You saved me. You saved me. You don't understand how ungrateful I feel every day knowing that. Like I'll never be able to repay that kind of debt. I almost hate you for it" - Sylvia (Chapter 16, pg. 162).
"We resent the parent who neglected us without reason, yet we pity, and sometimes even adore the parent who neglected us while he toiled for money for our food" - Aster (Chapter 24, pg. 270).
"Because if you fall in love, you'll never get the chance of actually staying in it" - Aster (Chapter 27, pg. 315).
"You are the most infuriatingly gorgeous creature on Earth. It is torture not to press you against the walls of most restaurants and bars and opera halls" - Sylvia (Chapter 27, pg. 314 ).
"You should never underestimate the monstrous size of my bad luck." "And you should stop underestimating just how much I'd fight to stay alive if it means spending one more precious, stupid second with you" - Sylvia/Aster (Chapter 35, pg. 423).
"I've been in love with you six hundred years, in twenty-two different countries, speaking six different languages, causing three revolutions, destroying two empires, beheading fifteen monarchs, and it has been the most exquisitely painful experience of my life. And the achingly pointless part of it is, even if you forgot it all again right now, I'd repeat it in a heartbeat" - Sylvia (Chapter 36, pg. 440).
Review:
If I had an example of what a perfect book looked like, this would definitely be it. I finished this book approximately 5 hours ago, and I'm still processing everything that happened in 442 pages. As I was reading, I felt nothing but joy, admiration, sadness, and disbelief. It's something for me to say, "Oh, this book was good" without explaining why, but this book had so much to offer, and the wonderful Valerie Hunter did not hold back. Any moment I had time to myself, I immediately returned to the book and couldn't put it down for more than a couple of hours. While reading, I could not only feel the chemistry and passion between Sylvia and Aster, but I also felt the joy Valerie put into her writing. Every chapter had me either sitting on the edge or just laughing at the unserious Sylvia when she's with Aster. But what truly broke my heart was when I found out that Sylvia had taken away some of Aster's memories where it involved her admitting she was in love with her. When I reached that point in the book, my heart literally shattered, and I felt so bad for both of them equally. I find it really hard for me to fathom how Sylvia didn't want to be away from her but didn't admit to the fact that she loved her. Even through actions and words, there was still the sense that Sylvia was afraid deep down because she was worried that she wouldn't be able to control her powers. Even when Sylvia was making jokes 80% of the time, I could still relate and understand what she was feeling. With Aster, I feel she cared so deeply about Sylvia that, time and time again, she was able to break through and slowly fall in love with Sylvia all over again, as if the universe was working alongside both of them and ensured they would be together in the end. Aside from their relationship, the entire atmosphere and vibe of the book was captivatingly immersive to the point where it felt like I was watching a TV show. Again, I give props to the author because I don't think that's something that is easy to pull off or taken lightly. I mean, heck, if the author decided to dive into short stories of what Sylvia and Aster did within the 600 years of knowing each other, I would gladly get in my car and go along for the ride just to be able to see more of both of them. Anyways, but this entire book was amazing and so so well done that it altered my brain chemistry times 100. I loved everything about Sylvia, Aster, and just this amazing world that Valerie Hunter created. Looking forward to the sequel dropping this summer, and my expectations are flying through the roof. Rating is one billion stars!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 27, 2026
Were there some typos? Yes. Did I care? Not one bit. I ATE this up. Need more from Astor & Sylvia!
March 20, 2026
1.5 stars, rounded down. My thoughts are as incoherent as this story was. It gets that extra half star because I was interested enough to not DNF and find out what happens to these 2 idiots. If it’s not obvious, this was originally a fanfic and it totally reads like one. Sometimes thats fun, like with the banter. At other times, not so much, like with the typos, and dropped plot points. We have a completely circular type of story of 2 broke vampires who were in love with each other for 500 years (but some how didn’t know) going on a multi continent murder spree to wind up…in love with each other (but now they know 🙄). Nothing is really fixed, they are still broke and terrible people. There’s a lot of blood and sex and pop culture jokes (and little substance) so if you’re into that, you’ll like this.
February 6, 2026
Give me more of them 🙏🙏
February 2, 2026
Of course my first 5 star read of the year is about yearning lesbian vampires
The way I could’ve finished this in a day but decided to drag it because I was enjoying my time so much, says something! I adore our characters so much, their chemistry and their backgrounds, leading them together was so endearing and well put together.
The Girl Who Bit Me , along with its need of a bit of editing— had humor, spice, tenderness, reeling, and enjoyment. I really can’t wait to read more of this author’s work. I mean I also wouldn’t mind a part 2☺️!
Some Highlights
”So I was a little... wound up. So my teeth enter your neck.
Oops”
"Aw, you want that so bad, don't you? You want me to call you my wife while I fill you up? While I fuck you until you lose your hearing?" she drawled, breathless. "You want to pretend to be my wife while I mark you all over? You want to repeat our vows with my fangs buried in your neck? When you come on my fingers?"
“I've always considered myself the anti-romantic, because I don't like poetry or pop music or Notting Hill or Shakespeare or the Old Testament. But I actually think I might just be overqualified in the subject. Because if romance is about finding the point in pointlessness, I found it very early, and latched on like a dog. You are the point to me, Aster. You create meaning in this big, sloppy, pointless soup”
raise your hand if you want to be called my wife while sharing blood with your 600 year old bestie and secret lover
The way I could’ve finished this in a day but decided to drag it because I was enjoying my time so much, says something! I adore our characters so much, their chemistry and their backgrounds, leading them together was so endearing and well put together.
The Girl Who Bit Me , along with its need of a bit of editing— had humor, spice, tenderness, reeling, and enjoyment. I really can’t wait to read more of this author’s work. I mean I also wouldn’t mind a part 2☺️!
Some Highlights
”So I was a little... wound up. So my teeth enter your neck.
Oops”
"Aw, you want that so bad, don't you? You want me to call you my wife while I fill you up? While I fuck you until you lose your hearing?" she drawled, breathless. "You want to pretend to be my wife while I mark you all over? You want to repeat our vows with my fangs buried in your neck? When you come on my fingers?"
“I've always considered myself the anti-romantic, because I don't like poetry or pop music or Notting Hill or Shakespeare or the Old Testament. But I actually think I might just be overqualified in the subject. Because if romance is about finding the point in pointlessness, I found it very early, and latched on like a dog. You are the point to me, Aster. You create meaning in this big, sloppy, pointless soup”
raise your hand if you want to be called my wife while sharing blood with your 600 year old bestie and secret lover
April 11, 2026
Brilliant!
Hopefully a sequel.. please?
Hopefully a sequel.. please?
January 24, 2026
This is easily my favorite sapphic book I’ve ever read! I fell in love with this book and the characters so fast. Each chapter is more delicious than the last. It’s a fun, spicy, yearning, dangerous, sexy adventure from the beginning to the end. You will be obsessed. It’s a MUST READ!
February 1, 2026
(rounded down from 3.25)
I think I've accidentally read my first (sapphic) romantasy book? The distinguishing feature for me from just fantasy with a romance element and romantasy is that the romance part takes the front seat in the latter, as it does here.
Honestly, some of the ideas here are really cool (such as a shapeshifting vampire whose specific interest appears to be starring in generational sitcoms over and over), but the lore is set up so shallowly here that I had a hard time following along. The vampires don't really have the standard set of powers and weaknesses, and most of them have some unique special talent (Sylvia's is the manipulation of people's minds, and Aster's is basically brutal murder), so it feels more like superheroes with some blood play thrown in. In fact, I suspect that if I enjoyed the blood play aspects more and also went into this expecting a lot of spice, I would probably turn more of a blind eye to the lack of worldbuilding.
As it stands, this is a complicated love story with a lot of sex scenes thrown in. Vampires come and go, some of the plot doesn't completely make sense, but it's all fine if you enjoy the spice and blood play aspects and appreciate the 600-year love story and the conflicts therein without too much attention to the "but what about...?" questions that pop up periodically.
TL;DR: A fun vampire romantasy for the sapphics if you want to have a nice time but don't expect the lore or worldbuilding to hold up too much, just enjoy the ride.
I think I've accidentally read my first (sapphic) romantasy book? The distinguishing feature for me from just fantasy with a romance element and romantasy is that the romance part takes the front seat in the latter, as it does here.
Honestly, some of the ideas here are really cool (such as a shapeshifting vampire whose specific interest appears to be starring in generational sitcoms over and over), but the lore is set up so shallowly here that I had a hard time following along. The vampires don't really have the standard set of powers and weaknesses, and most of them have some unique special talent (Sylvia's is the manipulation of people's minds, and Aster's is basically brutal murder), so it feels more like superheroes with some blood play thrown in. In fact, I suspect that if I enjoyed the blood play aspects more and also went into this expecting a lot of spice, I would probably turn more of a blind eye to the lack of worldbuilding.
As it stands, this is a complicated love story with a lot of sex scenes thrown in. Vampires come and go, some of the plot doesn't completely make sense, but it's all fine if you enjoy the spice and blood play aspects and appreciate the 600-year love story and the conflicts therein without too much attention to the "but what about...?" questions that pop up periodically.
TL;DR: A fun vampire romantasy for the sapphics if you want to have a nice time but don't expect the lore or worldbuilding to hold up too much, just enjoy the ride.
February 17, 2026
(2.5) yet another victim of the fanfic-to-book pipeline gone wrong. structurally, it’s a mess; the pacing gives the sense that the story was being written as it went along and i couldn’t make out the vampire system amid the countless plot holes.
there are certain writing tics that are a dead giveaway of a fanfic background, and the total lack of subtext was one of them. the author insists on over-clarifying every microexpression and emotion. everything is spelled out to the reader in a really amateurish way. this just made the miscommunication trope even more exhausting. there’s barely any tension, just endless handwringing. fortunately, it was charming enough that i didn’t completely give up on it largely thanks to aster and sylvia’s banter and vampiric tomfoolery.
flaws and all, it’s camp.
there are certain writing tics that are a dead giveaway of a fanfic background, and the total lack of subtext was one of them. the author insists on over-clarifying every microexpression and emotion. everything is spelled out to the reader in a really amateurish way. this just made the miscommunication trope even more exhausting. there’s barely any tension, just endless handwringing. fortunately, it was charming enough that i didn’t completely give up on it largely thanks to aster and sylvia’s banter and vampiric tomfoolery.
flaws and all, it’s camp.
February 13, 2026
2.5* This is the only time you will catch me reading anything described as “spicy”, i am nothing if not a pathetic lesbian for vampires! I did enjoy this though, was very entertaining for a binge read and obviously how could i not be kicking my feet at 600 year old soulmates. However was it objectively good?? I fear not, maybe just overlook the couple spelling errors, plot holes and insane amounts of sex…..
(Just found out it was originally fanfic and you can definitely tell by the pacing loll)
(Just found out it was originally fanfic and you can definitely tell by the pacing loll)
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