No Secrets, No Lies: How Black Families Can Heal from Sexual Abuse

by Robin D. Stone

With a foreword by Joycelyn Elders, M.D., No Secrets, No Lies is a powerful and daringly honest resource guide for families seeking to understand, prevent, and overcome childhood sexual abuse and its devastating impact on adult survivors.

An estimated one in four women and one in six men is abused by age eighteen, most often by someone they know. Most of these sexual assaults are never disclosed, much less reported to the police.

No Secrets, No Lies demystifies the cultural taboos and social dynamics that keep Black families silent and enable abuse to continue for generations. Among them:

• Fear of betraying family by turning offenders in to "the system"
• Distrust of institutions and authority figures, such as police officers
• Reluctance to seek counseling or therapy
• A legacy of enslavement and stereotypes about black sexuality

Through compelling personal accounts from everyday people, Robin D. Stone, a sexual abuse survivor herself, illuminates the emotional, psychological and hidden consequences of remaining silent, and provides holistic, practical steps to move toward healing.

No Secrets, No Lies candidly speaks to: survivors, telling them they are not at fault, not alone and how they can seek help; parents, guardians and caretakers, explaining how they can keep children safe and help survivors recover; and family, friends and other loved ones, showing ways to lend support.

304 pages, Hardcover

First published March 30, 2004

About the author

Robin D. Stone contributed the Afterword to My Times in Black and White: Race and Power at the New York Times , the memoir by her late husband, Gerald M. Boyd. Stone, the author of No Secrets, No Lies: How Black Families Can Heal from Sexual Abuse and project writer and editor for Essence's The Black Woman's Guide to Healthy Living , is an independent journalist who has edited for several publications, including the New York Times, the Detroit Free Press, and Essence magazine. She is a native of Detroit and lives in New York City."

Reviews

[Ashlee Burris · Rating 4 out of 5]

Being read in 2024, this book had a lot of great, if outdated, information. I'd like to look further into some of the citations used, as some statistics seems to be either off or only nominally founded. The book is informative, well-written, and contains more than just survivors' testimonies of how abuse occurred, but also guidance on how to navigate healing after abuse.

[Rebekah · Rating 4 out of 5]

No Serets, No Lies is one of the only books that looks at sexual abuse from a Black perspective. As a white therapist, I found it helpful to read to gain a better perspective on how a black family may interalize the abuse differently. The book also help shape a perspective of how the family may view me as their therapist.
I do feel that because the author is a reporter the books lacks some substance that would be provided by someone with experience in this field. The book is a good introduction to an under-researched population.

[Abilouise · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is unique in literature for survivors and their families for addressing the complexity of the world we live in. The author does a really great job walking the tightrope of empathizing with all members of the family while completely siding with the abused child. It is a good book to share with a relative who doesn't really "get it", and it has concrete things to help us move forward.